By Bhurijan Dasa
Topic of separation is difficult to enter.
Because to experience separation you need to experience Krsna.
But by the mercy of Vrndavan dust, Govardhan, just by sitting here, some perception of this deeper reality comes. The deeper reality is the sweetness of dealing is very attractive.
To enter we need to primarily become what? A servant.
We can‚Äôt enter Vrndavan in a mood of Krsna‚Äôs competitor. We know who will win and who will loseJ.
If we want to be with Krsna, our fire of desire has to burn very brightly. Tatra laulya api mulyam ekalam.
Being a servant, one can say is the most difficult thing in the material world. Because we want at least some percentage from what we do.
Vrndavan means naturally and spontaneously being attracted to Krsna. The all have an individual gift to offer to Krsna, but no competition, no corporate ladder, sorry. That‚Äôs just not the mood.
We‚Äôve been hearing about especially Nanda Maharaja‚Äôs reaction when Uddhava came. How can we describe with words from the material mouth if our hearts, ears are material, how can we understand what the Brijbasis experience.
hasitam bhasitam canga
sarva nah sithilah kriyah
As we remember the wonderful deeds Krsna performed, His playful sidelong glances, His smiles and His words, O Uddhava, we forget all our material engagements.
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.22
Not only krsna-viryani, Krsna‚Äôs power and killing the demons, but also His very attractive intimate dealings. ‚ÄúWe cannot do anything but think about Krsna and hanker to be with Him‚ÄĚ In the material world that love does not exist. When Caitanya Mahaprabhu was crying and crying for Krsna He was told, ‚ÄúYou have so much love for Krsna‚ÄĚ, He said, ‚ÄúNo, not even a gandha, not even a drop, this is all a show. When there is true love it cannot tolerate separation. And see ‚Äď I am still alive, maintaining my fly-like existence‚ÄĚ.
Life of Brijbasis hangs on a very thin thread ‚Äď Krsna‚Äôs promise, prema, ‚ÄúIf Krsna returns and we are not there, He will feel so bad‚ÄĚ. They are missing Him, they are wanting to give everything to Him.
Nanda Maharaja can‚Äôt take care of the cows, Yasoda cannot say a word, cook for Uddhava, remove the cobwebs. In this way the channel is opened to being with Krsna. And they are fully with Krsna through their separation.
Someone might give an advice, ‚ÄúJust go out of your house ‚Äď if you are locked up in the house, you just feel worse, go for walk, walk near the Yamuna!‚ÄĚ And Nanda M. replies in the next verse:
‚ÄúWhen we see the places where Mukunda enjoyed His sporting pastimes — the rivers, hills and forests He decorated with His feet — our minds become totally absorbed in Him.‚ÄĚ
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.23
Akrura demonstrates the perfect way of entering Vrndavan. He was always in smaranam. Maharaja described that in the program on the roof. We arrive in a plane and then a day later the mind arrives. But if you take a slow way and at every way you meditate where you are going ‚Äď the temples, the places ‚Äď then your mind arrives three days before your body. Modern life‚Äôs characteristic is that wherever people are - they are not there! They are talking on the phone, planning in rajo-guna, always somewhere else in their mind.
So when our mind arrives, there is more chance of seeing of what‚Äôs there. We can place ourselves in the association of Giriraj Govardhan, devotees. We try to make as much as advancement as we can. That means increasing our taste for being with Krsna. If the question is how we can experience separation without having met Krsna ‚Äď the answer is, we can‚Äôt! But our desire for that is our wealth.
We are getting old, our knees go out, our ears hear buzzing, old age forces us to confront who we are. One can become frightened because one loses sense of ‚Äúwho I am‚ÄĚ. But we can realize that we are servants of Krsna.
Coming to Vrndavan is such an opportunity. Even in the airport, on the highway we are getting excited, but when we enter Vraja that sweetness (which is non-different from Srimati Radharani) strikes one and one realizes, ‚ÄúYes, now I am in Vrndavan‚ÄĚ.
For Nanda M. everything in Vrndavan reminds him of Krsna.
Total absorption in Krsna is Krsna consciousness.
OK, here in Vrndavan it is easier to do, but I have the rest of my life, I am a dentist, this or that. In the Bhagavad-gita Krsna says we have to connect everything in service of Krsna. We think ‚ÄúKrsna has engaged me in that service, so I should use it for Krsna somehow or another‚ÄĚ. If we live in duality: this is for Krsna and this is for me, - this will not bring us to Vrndavan. It is not mixed devotional service that is the abhidheya ‚Äď it may hopefully bring us to pure devotional service, but the abhidheya is anyabhilasita sunyam, pure devotional service.
We may see it as a desert, just a pile of rocks, I say, the taste of ashes ‚Äď the awakening to that realization, that I am so far from Krsna, from being a real devotee, from pure devotional service, that is the beginning of devotional service. Practically speaking, that is required. Who wants to give to an arrogant beggar?
And I find this ‚Äúnegative‚ÄĚ realization is easy to get, just seeing all our desires. And then we can get a little desire to get a speck of taste ‚Äď and that is our wealth.
That is the engine that gives our prayers and chanting power to attract Krsna.
In v.23 Nanda M. brings another aspect of Krsna. He is an avatara (of course, He Bhagavan Svayam) ‚Äď but Nanda M. says that how is it possible that Krsna lifted Govardhan Hill, killed that snake‚Ä¶ This brings out a bit of aisvarya:
‚ÄúIn my opinion, Krsna and Balarama must be two exalted demigods who have come to this planet to fulfill some great mission of the demigods. Such was foretold by Garga Rsi.
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.24
So many things were predicted by Garga Rsi ‚Äď anena sarva durgani (you will cross all difficulties by His power). This introduces some of Krsna‚Äôs extraordinariness to bring down some of the sweetness in thinking about Krsna as his son. Because this sweetness makes him think, ‚ÄúWe are so unfortunate, only Vasudeva is fortunate‚ÄĚ. If you have a treasure and then it is gone. ‚ÄúA poor man who gains a fortune and then loses it, thinks of it day and night‚ÄĚ‚Ä¶ There is an emptiness that comes in the heart. In the stock crash of 1929 people were jumping off the buildings! ‚Ä¶ By how many millions we have to multiply it to get a comparison?
Nanda M. feels this separation ‚Äď which is ecstatic ‚Äď and wants to mitigate it, but of course, he cannot.
‚ÄúAfter all, Krsna and Balarama killed Kamsa, who was as strong as ten thousand elephants, as well as the wrestlers Canura and Mustika and the elephant Kuvalayapida. They killed them all sportingly, as easily as a lion disposes of small animals.>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.24
There so many descriptions, ‚ÄúKrsna walks like a young elephant‚ÄĚ, ‚ÄúKrsna kills like a lion‚ÄĚ but we do not have these experience. So in preparation I watched on Youtube how elephants walk, how a lion kills an elephant ‚Äď even if you go to a zoo and a lion roars, it sends shivers, Krsna gives them some special sakti.
‚ÄúWith the ease of a royal elephant breaking a stick, Krsna broke a powerful, giant bow three talas long. He also held a mountain aloft for seven days with just one hand.>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.25
And Nanda Maharaja has seen all this.
‚ÄúHere in Vrndavana, Krsna and Balarama easily destroyed demons like Pralamba, Dhenuka, Arista, Trnavarta and Baka, who had themselves defeated both demigods and other demons.>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.27
Not only Krsna is powerful ‚Äď there gross ways to use power ‚Äď but Krsna does everything with the grace of an elegant dancer. Even Balarama fainted ‚Äď all the boys fainted, Balarama, all-knowing, got caught in the net sweetness of Krsna‚Äôs pastimes.
In one of the lila-kirtanas we had in the Varsana Japa Retreat ‚Äď Nimai Pandit acted as a proud powerful scholar, but when Ratna Garbha Acarya recited SB 10.23.23 how Krsna stood before the yajna-patnis twirling a lotus ‚Äď Nimai Pandit just got lost in ecstasy. ‚Ä¶ So we want to get that taste.
We don‚Äôt have to do the work of name-calling ‚Äúyou are a rascal, and you are rascal‚ÄĚ attacking the atheist scientists ‚Äď Srila Prabhupada has already done this hard work in his bookJ, we just have to present them ‚Äď but it was the sweetness that captured everyone, his blazing fire of taste. ‚Ä¶ In his room ‚ÄúDo you have any problems‚ÄĚ ‚Äď ‚ÄúNo, Srila Prabhupada‚ÄĚ ‚Äď that is sweetness of Vraja.
He could call a scientist a cheater, he could call politicians cheaters, he could call a glass-manufacturer a ‚Äėsmall thief‚Äô J and they could take it, because there was sweetness in Him.
So, when Gauranga Mahaprabhu embraced Ratna Garbha Acarya, he also became caught in that net of love, as Sri Vrindavan das Thakura says. So we want to be caught in that web.
‚ÄúHere in Vrndavana, Krsna and Balarama [ - who Himself was caught in the web of attraction - ] easily destroyed demons like Pralamba, Dhenuka, Arista, Trnavarta and Baka, who had themselves defeated both demigods and other demons.>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.27
Nanda Maharaj was once saved when swallowed by the snake (vidyadhara), another time, after Indra and Surabhi apologized on Ekadasi, on the Dvadasi Nanda Maharaja went decorated to bathe in the Yamuna. The Varuna-dutas decided it was impoper time and took him to Varuna. In the Bhagavatam we see time and again how Varuna, Yamaraja, Lord Visnu, everyone is happy to get darsan of Krsna.
Nanda enters into the water ‚Äď and is taken to Varuna ‚Äď but to the friends on the shore what does it look like? Like he has drowned. Everybody loves Nanda because of his good qualities. Upananda is the ELDER brother but seeing the qualities of Nanda he requests, ‚ÄúYou become the king‚ÄĚ. He is Upananda ‚Äď always next to Nanda.
In Vrndavan everyone takes shelter in Krsna.
This is what it means to be a devotee. Whenever there is a difficulty ‚Äď ‚ÄúKrsna, Krsna, Krsna!‚ÄĚ or in Vrndavana, ‚ÄúRadhe, Radhe, Radhe‚ÄĚ. Or ‚ÄúO Bakabhid!‚ÄĚ as in Raghunatha Dasa Gosvami‚Äôs Manah-siksa. But don‚Äôt go to rely on your own strength, intelligence, knowledge etc.
So everyone turned to Krsna.
If Mother Yasoda heard that Nanda M. jumped into the water and did not come out, then Krsna went in and did not come out, what will happen to her? So Krsna told Balarama ‚Äď Mother Yasoda will come so You must convince her that everything will be all right.
In Kaliya-lila Balarama despite internal suffering put on a smile and said, ‚ÄúDon‚Äôt worry, this is just a material snake‚ÄĚ. Balarama‚Äôs credibility was very high. If Balarama told Mother Yasoda, that everything will be all right, she would trust him. Therefore she remained alive.
Just by seeing Nanda Maharaja Varuna understood, ‚ÄúThis is Krsna‚Äôs father!‚ÄĚ and he became terrified that he has done a terrible offense and Krsna will be angry. So he immediately placed Nanda Maharaj on his throne, put a carpet from entrance to the throne, tied a cloth around his neck as a sign of humility, and waited outside for Krsna to come.
There are different points of view (in quantum physics it is called complimentarity) ‚Äď so what was Nanda Maharaja‚Äôs point of view? He always thought of Krsna at every moment of his existence‚Ä¶ In his samadhi of thinking about Krsna with eyes closed Nanda M. did not even notice he has been taken by Varuna. But ‚Äď now Krsna‚Äôs point of view ‚Äď Krsna was very angry, ‚ÄúWhere is that jackal Varuna?!‚ÄĚ He immediately jumped and Varuna was bowing down and bowing down. Krsna asked, ‚ÄúWhere is my father?!‚ÄĚ Krsna is the ‚Äėseed-giving father of everyone‚Äô but He thinks of Nanda M. as His father.
Varuna points to the throne and starts glorify Krsna, ‚ÄúPlease, we did not do anything to him, let me take you to him over this soft cloth‚ÄĚ. Suddenly the wonderful fragrance of Krsna enters the nostrils of Nanda M. and he opens his eyes, without knowing where he is. They embrace, tears flow from their eyes. This is the SPoG ‚Äď but He is a little boy in the presence of Nanda Maharaj. But the best of little boys, the perfection of little boys.
Varuna and his attendants are there, they both become shy. Krsna says, ‚ÄúFather, I am here, please place your feet on this path to get out‚ÄĚ. Varuna in a different mood, ‚ÄúPlease forgive me, please take these gifts, please accept this kingdom as Yours, please take these messengers to guide you‚Ä¶‚ÄĚ And they come out of the water ‚Äď and just imagine, - of course we cannot ‚Äď but just imagine the bliss of the Vrndavana residents! Balarama embraced Krsna, Krsna went to Mother Yasoda and she came back to life.
‚Ä¶ [the same thing happened when Putana was killed]‚Ä¶
Krsna is everything for residents of Vrindavan. Would you like to make Krsna everything for you? Quite a few people not on the mental platform hereJ So, Giriraj is right here, you can place your prayer to him, find the humblest and sincerest part of who you are and Giriraj will fulfill your desires.
Notice again ‚Äď not a one word from Mother Yasoda‚Ä¶ Sri Sukadeva Gosvami narrates further:
iti samsmrtya samsmrtya
aty-utkantho ‘bhavat tusnim
‚ÄúSukadeva Gosvami said: Thus intensely remembering Krsna again and again, Nanda Maharaja, his mind completely attached to the Lord, felt extreme anxiety and fell silent, overcome by the strength of his love.‚ÄĚ
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.27
And Yasoda ‚Äď
putrasya caritani ca
srnvanty asruny avasraksit
‚ÄúAs Mother Yasoda heard the descriptions of her son’s activities, she poured out her tears, and milk flowed from her breasts out of love.‚ÄĚ
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.28
Uddhava, having seen the love of Vrsnis in Dvaraka and now seeing this, is amazed. He has received his first lesson. He is staggered, he has never seen anything like this.
On one level, it seems like everyone is in misery, but Uddhava‚Äôs joy in the next words shows what is the key for advancement in KC (absorption). No desires, percentages for me, no jnana, karma. Seeing this, Uddhava is shocked.
‚ÄúUddhava then joyfully addressed Nanda Maharaja, having clearly seen the supreme loving attraction he and Yasoda felt for Krsna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead.‚ÄĚ
If Uddhava had seen Nanda and Yasoda actually suffering, he would not have reacted with joy. But in fact all emotions on the spiritual platform are transcendental bliss. The so-called anguish of the pure devotees is another form of loving ecstasy. This was clearly seen by Uddhava, and thus he spoke as follows.]
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.30
So he is amazed and he begins to speak:
‚ÄúSri Uddhava said: O respectful Nanda, certainly you and Mother Yasoda are the most praiseworthy persons in the entire world, since you have developed such a loving attitude toward Lord Narayana, the spiritual master of all living beings.‚ÄĚ
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.30
‚ÄúYou have such an absorption, such intimacy‚ÄĚ Why is he saying ‚ÄúYou are so fortunate!‚ÄĚ Because:
‚ÄúThese two Lords, Mukunda and Balarama, are each the seed and womb of the universe, the creator and His creative potency. They enter the hearts of living beings and control their conditioned awareness. They are the primeval Supreme.‚ÄĚ
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.31
Nanda M. and M.Yasoda don‚Äôt care about this, but it is important for us. Uddhava has a specific mood and service.
JivaGosvami: ‚ÄúYou are most praiseworthy since your minds are able to control this shelter of Maha Visnu who is greater than the Lord of Vaiku√ę√∂ha by your vatsalya-bhava. ‚Äú
Now, Uddhava speaks two verses about importance of absorption. Sacinandana Maharaja repeatedly emphasizes the need for sambandha ‚Äď without the consciousness of our position and connection, we will be frustrated (and seek other shelters). So please hear about the power of absorption in Krsna:
‚ÄúAnyone, even a person in an impure state, who absorbs his mind in Him for just a moment at the time of death burns up all traces of sinful reactions and immediately attains the supreme transcendental destination in a pure, spiritual form as effulgent as the sun. You two have rendered exceptional loving service to Him, Lord Narayana, the Supersoul of all and the cause of all existence, the great soul who, although the original cause of everything, has a humanlike form. What pious deeds could still be required of you?‚ÄĚ
>>> Ref. VedaBase => SB 10.46.34
We need to remember this: Krsna performs His nara-lila which SEEMS to be human, but UNIVERSES are like nothing, particles coming from the pores of His expansion. He is the only one who is sva-tantra, who can do anything He wants. And what ‚Äď does ‚Äď He ‚Äď want ‚Äď to do? He wants to wander around Vrndavan witn the boys. They jump into the Yamuna. Krsna and Balarama did this ‚Äď they were playing and laughing, playing Their flutes. That is what Krsna wants to do. This is the mind and heart of the all powerful Supreme Personality of Godhead.
People who love Him ‚Äď not because they want something from Him ‚Äď but because they like Him, it‚Äôs natural ‚Äď it is natural for us too. Just imagine, so many religions, so many people praying, ‚Äúmay my son pass the exam, my ankle get healed, my my stock go up, may that stock go down, my I get a bicycle‚ÄĚ ‚Äď so if one person comes and says, ‚ÄúHow can I please YOU‚ÄĚ ‚Äď Krsna is attracted.
Uddhava is amazed at Vraja prema and his amazement will still increase when he meets the Vraja-gopikas‚Ä¶
Srila Prabhupada ki jaya! Giriraja Maharaja ki jaya!
I have lost my voice, but you please say loudly. Face Giriraja, and please say it with connection in your heart: Giriraja Maharaja ki jaya! Jaya jaya Sri Radhe-e-e Syam!
The full recordings (without my -APD- mistakes, omissions, and miscomprehensions:-) will be available at http://vihe.org under “Audio”, in a couple weeks time.
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Begging for your kind blessings,
on behalf of your servants at VIHE,
Das Adi Purusha