When? When?

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By Bhurijana dasa

Hare Krsna. Sitting by the shore of the Yamuna, praying for mercy, reading of the exalted longings of Srila Narrottama dasa Thakura:

“O Lord Hari, Lord Hari, when will I become a resident of Vrndavana? When with my own eyes, will I see the great beauty of the Divine Couple. When will I renounce very comfortable sleeping arrangements and instead take rest on the ground of Vraja? When will I renounce materially palatable foodstuffs, and simply eat whatever I can obtain by begging in the land of Vraja? When will I circumambulate the land of Vraja, wandering from forest to forest? When, becoming fatigued, will I stop to rest on the shore of the Yamuna? When will I find relief from the heat of midday by resting in the cooling shade of Vamsivata? When will I associate with the Vaisnavas in the groves of Vrndavana? Narottama dasa renounces the materialistic way of life and says: “When will I attain this perfection of spiritual life?” (Prarthana 29)

“When will I renounce everything and go to Vrndavana? When will this be? When in great ecstasy will I roll about on the ground where Lord Krsna performed the rasa-dance? When will I see Govardhana Hill, my eyes filling with tears? When by bathing in Syama-kunda and Radha-kunda will I attain the stage of dedicating my entire life and soul to the service of the Divine Couple? When will I become pure at heart by bathing in the waters of the Yamuna River? Narottama dasa hopes that he will be able to reside in Vrndavana in the association of saintly devotees.” (Prarthana
30)

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I remember when I first joined Iskcon We used to sometimes sit together and sing bhjanas from the songbook; I recal especially the words, “when oh when will that day be mine? Offenses ceasing, taste for the Names increasing, when in my heart will Your mercy shine? when oh when will that day be mine?” I used to think, yes indeed, when oh when? Now it has been a few years. My service has been interrupted by my occupations, I have committed more offenses than I can name, I still think I’m this body. But I have stuck with Krsna come hell and high water.

Just as a natural result of remaining committed over a span of time, now as one remembers our Lord, the sense of yearning and longing has become emphasized by time. Just like a man waiting for his dinner, the longer he waits, the more he longs for refreshment. Now, one has been waitng one’s whole life, Dearest One, just to talk with You, to hold Your hand if but oh so briefly. Will you reciprocate with your Krsnadasa, or must You break his heart by hiding in the forests? Why play such games with one; it is not fitting for such an exalted Being to relish the suffering of others, especially when they are Your wholehearted servants. Have mercy upon the tiny jiva, and thus fulfill Your reputation as patita pavana.

In this way, we “new” men can take heart. Simply stick to the program, and in a very natural fashion, our attachment will increase. Jaya Sri Guru and Gouranga!

Comment posted by Tamoharadasa on January 9th, 2007

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Post Date: Monday, January 8th, 2007
Categories: Quotes, Bhurijana dasa
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