By Sumeet Utekar
Many times, we don’t know that ego is breaking you, but when we come to understand it, it becomes too late. Just like when we drive a car with a full speed, you are driving rash and you are taking a overtake in every scenario and you think that why I should remain back, I am right and you forgot to press a brake. Then what happens? accident. Similarly, in life also, if we are not well sure to press a pause button before you reflect then you break your heart and at the same time you destroy other’s hearts too.
There was a case that happened with me personally years ago, long back. I was actually very much upset of my friend. I was getting insecure that whether my friend will get loose by this insecurity which I have. One day there was a massive fight between me and my friend like cats and dogs. That person was not just a friend, but the best of my best friend who always cares for me, supports me, loves me with no ulterior motives. But due to my ego, I said what’s not – to destroy my friendship with my friend. It’s my friend’s humility that he didn’t even reacted. He was every time repeatedly saying sorry! I am sorry Sumeet, I am sorry. But I was like, I was so angry and frustrated that I had messed up everything and started abusing my friend emotionally and mentally. Isn’t it Krishna said rightly in the Bhagavad Gita, He says(3.37) when you have kaam(lust), krodha(anger) due to this you can’t see things clearly? Yes. anger and lust blinds us. Just like Dhritarashtra was blind by lust, pride, and anger and can’t able to see what is beyond. Similarly, we are also blind by anger and lust by which we can’t even see things clearly and we break it up.
Yes. We break it up and so I was! But taking my friend as an inspiration where he was having real humility where he tolerated my anger and frustration due to which even he didn’t hurt me still he was asking sorry to me. So think about it how egoist I was here. In Bhagavad Gita 3.38 says as fire is covered by smoke, the mirror is covered by dust. Similarly living entities are covered by different degrees of lust. So, coming to the ego when you break if off by just silly unnecessary things insecurity which comes to your mind from your lust and anger than it’s sure to break. In my case, it hasn’t broke down due to my past good karma, he was not equally angry and frustrated than I was. So, later I realized the mistake and experienced myself that if our sadhana goes well, if you do our sadhana properly than you can easily respond to your provoking situation.
I realized that, “Sadhana is more essential than my False Ego. I thought to myself and realized that, I shouldn’t have spoken harsh things to him that hurts him. I begged forgiveness and he has forgiven me with his whole heart. This is the quality of a great person. A great person always forgives and so my friend is. This is what I used to say, ‘A Great person is not a person where he had everything. Great person is those who have a great and humble heart.’
Later, I realized that I must pause and reflect myself everytime I get angry and frustrated. Before you break it up, please ensure you have a good brake (Good Sadhana) to stop from getting an disastrous in relationship. One thing we must understand that, We would have many things in our life, but if you don’t have your valuable jewel-like friends to celebrate your victory than there is no use of getting that victory? what pleasure will you get from destroying relationships? yeh sab opulence ko kya chatna hai? No. we just have to develop a good relationship and never take decisions based on superficial level and break it off.
Hence, from my personal example – Always remember to ‘Pause’ and ‘Reflect’ to maintain a good relationship and don’t break it off by any big or small issues. In front of relations, problems are too small. So understand that, correct ourselves from them, and move on.
Before you break, ask 3 things to yourself, this actually helped me. Hope this will also help you:-
1. is your friendship is cheap on a superficial level?
2. is your friendship or relationship is more than your 3 lettered word EGO?
3. is your friendship is for use and throw?
If above is Yes, then your friendship of no use., and if No, then respect him, care for him and love and trust him unflinchingly and unconditionally
If you don’t want to break, ask 3 questions to yourself –
1. Is my friend is more BIG than my so-called EGO?
2. Is my friend is my well wisher?
3. Is my friend has MORE concerned about you than what you concerned about your so-called ego?
if the above answer is YES, then you are the happiest person in the world. Because things can’t give satisfaction, but relationships do. So, therefore, when you are angry always remember this – Press brake when you are angry and reflect back and see your good times of your friend. This will help you to save your most loving relationship
Hope this helps you!
Thank you very much