By Karnamrita Das
SELF-ABSORPTION isn’t thought of favorably and generally means to be excessively concerned with one’s own life and interests without taking into consideration other people. Some synonyms are egoism, self-centeredness, narcissism, self-importance, self-preoccupation, etc. However, in my thinking this morning while chanting, which is the attempt to “hear” God in his holy names, or become absorbed in the Supreme Self, we need to be self-absorbed in the sense of becoming aware of those parts of ourselves that need to be adjusted and purified. When we are chanting or praying we become aware of our highest ideals and our various types of material interests, or even our lowest worldly desires.
Srila Prabhupada has compared chanting the holy name to making ghee. In ghee making, we boil butter, and must work to skim off the “impurities” or milk solids which rise to the surface. Then we will be able to create clarified butter, or ghee, which has so many medicinal properties and uses. This is an interesting analogy which can help us in our daily spiritual practice.
We can think of our spiritual practices, like chanting the holy name, as the cleansing fire, that is meant to burn up the impurities or material contaminations. If we expect to go anywhere spiritually we have to keep turning on the fire of purification through the nine processes of bhakti, especially hearing and chanting, so we can remember who we actually are as sparks of Divinity imbued with the serving nature, beyond material changeable designations.
To go beyond superficial appearances we must dig deep to what we may not want to look at, to uncover our conditioned, or “naked” self, free from colored pretenses, either thinking we are great or are nothing. In spiritual life we must understand where we are, and where we aspire to go. When we are in touch with Radha and Krishna through their holy names we are seeking the grace of purification to remove the dust covering our true soul hearts. This “dust” of bodily identification by putting ourselves above all others and all things of the world, prevents us from understanding or “seeing” our real self, or effulgent soul.
Thus this morning I am self-absorbed in praying to rise above my conditioned nature and those many desires I have cultivated over lifetimes of material enjoyment. I am “beginning with the end in mind,” regarding passing through the different stages of bhakti, to come to pure prema, or love of Krishna and everything in relationship to him. I am self-absorbed with the prayer to give the highest service to the greatest number of people possible, to be a surrendered and willing instrument, and no longer a mixed, mediocre devotee.
I self-absorbed to want to be able to accept whatever is required for spiritual progress and for sharing whatever I have been blessed with. I still see and feel what binds me to the world, and that part of me that still desires what is unfavorable for progress in bhakti, yet I also feel blessed to have an intensity to also want and pray for spiritual advancement to rise above worldly passions and live the life of the soul in love with Krishna. And I am self-absorbed to share all this with you with the hope and prayer to benefit you.
We are students and teachers of one another, and can help one another rise up, and keep the fire of spiritual life burning brightly. May we always be willing to lend a helping hand when needed. Let us be like bees who find the nectar, not like flies to find sores and spread infections. Love. Encourage. Reassure. Inspire. Cheer. Boost.
Dear Karnamrita das, Dandavat and Hare Krishna. All glories to Srila Prabhupada! I read everything that you write very carefully. Why? Because I know you are desperate to cross the line, so to speak. The sense I get is that you are “boxing” a little with the truth you are approaching. Sometimes very perfectly receiving the purification of associating with Sri Krishna Nama. Sometimes endeavoring on your own side to rise above the 3 modes of material nature. Indeed, all can be accomplished by full submission to Krishna. He will take care of our sin (aham tvam sarvapapebhya mokshayisyami), and don’t worry (ma suchah). Krishna is the Supreme Controller, the Supreme Mystic, and our Surpreme Friend. He will take care of His surrendered souls, without any doubt. That is His kripa.
Remember that spiritual life is Krishna consciousness (which includes our relationship with Krishna) and not self-consciousness that hinges on ahamkara and attachment to the 3 modes of material nature. Krishna wants us to transcend the 3 modes of material nature, but He lets us know that all is accomplished by full engagement in devotional service which is our transcendental loving connection with Krishna.
You are a sincere seeker, and you will be a sincere finder also. I would not expect anything less from a soul surrendered to the greatest guru, Srila Prabhupada. Pusta Krishna das
Haribol Gurubhai, Pusta Krishna Prabhu. Pranams!
Part 1
Thank you so much for your thoughtful, insightful reply. I don’t often receive such honest reflections, which are also sympathetic to my points. I have meditated on your view that I am “boxing”—a lot of “hmmmm-ing,” and wondering for me to understand what you mean. Perhaps you are feeling like I am fighting with certain fundamental truths or trying to battle my way to Krishna? I would have to hear more to understand.
I can say that since my cancer diagnosis in November 2015, my whole life had changed, and I have a frequent meditation that I may die today, which is a game changer as to what is really important. In the course of my treatment, which is through so-called “alternative” means of diet, exercise, and herbal remedies, I have been inspired to create a talk, Facing Death, to Live More Fully Today,” in which I speak with considerable urgency to share what I have learned to be especially important for those about to die, or really for everyone, since we are all in the queue for the death of our physical body.
These items, of course, include increased hearing and chanting about Krishna and the KC philosophy, but also incorporate intense prayers for spiritual progress, practicing forgiveness, cutting karmic cords, and having a sense of personal mission–basically to come to a place where we have no unresolved issues or resentments.
Part 2 to Pusta Krishna prabhu:
Yes, it is all about surrender, and Krishna will carry what we lack and preserve what we have, and yet, I still feel impelled to share what might be considered lesser practices or unimportant to some devotees. Why am I? Because I see practically in counseling and speaking to devotees how much some are diverted or aren’t able to give their full heart to their spiritual practices, because of blind spots in unresolved life issues and not being honest with regard to desires and where they really are materially and spiritually. I write and speak a great deal about this, because some devotees are stuck even after years of spiritual practice, and so I am trying to help.
I spent 20 years actively engaged in making peace with my past and forgiving my parents and myself, and I only benefited from it. So I am biased from my success, and the fact the I married a psychotherapist who I work with.
To conclude, personal growth work and spiritual growth really go hand in hand, but many devotees neglect their personal growth, or we could say psychological health in the name of spiritual advancement, and we all suffer on account of this. So yes, I am on a bit of a campaign to speak and write to devotees and share my sense of urgency and what I have found to be essential. I am self-absorbed that since I may die today, I pray to give it all I can for my spiritual growth and in helping others even, as I know I am completely dependent on the mercy of Prabhupada, the devotees, and Lord Gaura and Nitai!
Krishna speaks of becoming free of all misgivings (5.17). We think that we have some debt to pay to the material world. The surrendered soul has no debt to the material world. Neither we have any debt to our forefathers or even our loving families. Water the root together. It is part of the cure. Krishna implores us Himself, aham tvam sarvapapebhya mokshayisyami ma sucha. Forget your karma, your sins. Krishna says, I shall liberate you from all sin, from all karma….don’t worry. No material adjustment needed. It is part of the cure to believe in Krishna’s promise. Surrender is incomplete if we place limitation or conditions upon Krishna. He is the Supreme Pure. In full Krishna consciousness we shall be fully free from the dream of material consciousness. Fully free, we are submersed into the sweet loving ecstatic grace of Krishna. His beauty fully captivates us. Self and consciousness are one, and all for Krishna. The full resolution of material existence is Krishna prema. That is Home.
“Boxing” is maintaining some misgivings within the material world. Trying to resolve phantom attachments with mental reconciliation. But, we are not of this world. A net of illusion has captivated us. We cannot fight our way out of the illusion ourselves. We have Krishna. He is very happy to free His bhaktas. He is Mukunda, and it is one of His lilas to save His fallen devotees. The devotees, it is said, develop all the good qualities of the demigods…without separate endeavor. The work on personal growth, in essence, is superfluous, if one becomes genuinely bhakta, fully dependent upon Krishna. No need to “shadow box”. Hoping this strikes a chord in your heart. Pusta Krishna das
Dear Prabhu, certainly, it strikes a cord in my heart, as it is the chord I am endeavoring to play in my life as a sadhaka and dasanudasandas. Today’s post on “Psychotherapy and the Practice of Krishna Consciousness” is a broad response to your concerns.
Whether a devotee needs to engage in personal growth work or counseling depends on the person and what their necessities are for spiritual progress and for living in the world. The direct preaching you are doing is what which many of us exclusively did in our years living in the ashram. It’s the gold standard, and yet, many of us couldn’t practice it fully. We had to go back to school, seek a career, and have a spouse and family. Some of us discovered we had life issues or psychological baggage that needed to be addressed for us to feel whole, and be balanced devotees.
I would never say that such inner work was more important than our endeavor to surrender our lives to Guru and Krishna and engage in bhakti–but as my wife and I wrote in today’s article, such work is meant to give support to bhakti by helping us be more in the mode of goodness. What can I say? This is my experience personally, and in working with devotees. My wife could explain even better as she has worked with many more individuals than I have.
My experience is why I speak as I do about making peace with our past, practicing forgiveness, getting to the root of anger and resentment that may plague us, and cutting cords to the past. This, AND sadhana! To me, this work is part of becoming aware of our anarthas. One thing we didn’t say in the article that I say now is that counseling is assisted introspection, and I am all about the importance of introspection.
I know the importance of introspection and processes of personal growth, intense and focused sadhana, good association, & avoiding Vaishnava aparadha. Facing death has given me a great urgency to share this, which is what I am attempting to do. Thank you!