Pusta Krishna Das: It is not easy to be a disciple, even in the presence of the Vaishnava-Acharya, and it can potentially become progressively more difficult as time passes in his physical absence. I remember when I first joined in Gainesville, Florida, I went off to Bangladesh at 21 years of age in February 1971, and returned to Gainesville late in 1971 of course in saffron as a brahmachary. I used to play basketball in high school and for several summers in the 1960s, went to a basketball camp in North Carolina attended by many great high school basketball players from around Florida.
One such point guard had played for the Florida Gators, and when I saw him one day on the main avenue in town, he told me in my monk’s garb, and thinking religiously, he said that he had gone on to Law School because Jesus told him to become an attorney. I thought to myself how we can practically justify nearly anything by that rationale.
Yes, all is ordained by God, but the self-serving use of God as my order supplier is short of the ideal of suddha-bhakti. It is no small thing to be a disciple. Those who have come very near the “fire”, even invited into the “fire”, know what this means. We must not, or at least, should not, become our own spiritual master or guru, under the illusion that we have learned to fly our own plane. BG 13.21. The extent to which we can delude ourselves is unlimited, even to the point of mayavadism (nirvisesa) or buddhism
(sunyavada), both being atheistic conceptions. So many zeros…
At the root of many of our problems is the self-centric obsession we take on in material life. The Vaishnavas instead focus on Krishna, knowing that He is the Supreme Pure, and connection with Him will lead to all good for the jiva soul and hopeful pleasure for Krishna. Krishna-centric, Krishna consciousness, reflects the reality that love for Krishna, Krishna prema, is the ultimate goal for the jiva soul. The material world is so much dirt and air and water, the form of which propels us deeper into the network of illusion. Spiritual health is fostered by the feeling of service to Guru and Vaishnava, overlooking one’s own faulty likes and dislikes. We take away what we can intellectually from all of our experiences, and we are victims of our own karma, but in the end, rejection of our experience in favor of satisfying Sri Gurudeva, can lead us to spiritual life, beyond acceptance and rejectance of the mundane. These ideas will resound within individuals differently.
It may require many lifetimes for us to reach the necessary faith to fulfill our destinies. But, we can know what does not work, what leads to religiosity with feet firmly planted in the material self-centric life.
While we are truly only observers of our actions, our consciousness will dictate the worthwhile dovetailing of action in Krishna consciousness. Krishna notes in the Bhagavad gita that it is difficult to understand the Ksetra (field of activity) and the Ksetra- jna (knower of the field). These subtleties can be contemplated again and again to revive our hope in reawakening spiritual life. If we will remain dedicated to service to Sri Guru Vaishnava, we can rest assured that our connection with Krishna consciousness is secured, and more likely free from the justification of a self-centric religious existence.
We shall hopefully not take a step backwards into illusion to justify our unhappy existence.