
By Giriraj Swami
The Mayapur Temple of Vedic Planetarium (TOVP), under construction, recently opened an office in the ISKCON Juhu temple, at Hare Krishna Land in Mumbai. In honor of the occasion, and to further the cause, I thought to share an excerpt adapted from my article âMemories of Sridhar Swamiâ in my book Many Moons.
In November 2003 Srila Prabhupadaâs staunch disciple Sridhar Swami phoned me from Bombay and told me that he was planning to go to Vancouver in April for four to six months. Soon thereafter, however, he sent an e-mail saying that he had been diagnosed with liver cancer and was going to Vancouver immediately to see if he could get a liver transplant, which was his âonly hope.â
In Vancouver the tests revealed that his cancer had spread beyond the limit allowed for transplants, and so his âonly hopeâ was dashed, and it seemed like he was soon to leave his body.
I phoned Maharaja from Santa Barbara and eventually got him on his cell phone. âWhere are you?â I asked. âIâm shopping,â he answered. He seemed so jollyâlike always. But then he confirmed my worst fears: âThe doctor says that I could go at any time. Phone me back later. We have to talk.â
After that, we would speak every day, usually twice a day. And we had wonderful talks. Then the question arose whether he should go to Mayapurâand when. He decided he would go to Mayapur and concluded that he should go as soon as possible.
He had three desires, he said: âI just want to survive until I reach Mayapur. Then, if possible, I want to live to see the Pancha-tattva installed. And then, if possible, I want to live until Gaura-purnima. And thenâwhatever.â (He meant, of course, âAnd thenâwhatever Krishna wants.â) No one knew how much travel Maharajaâs weakened body could bear, but with these three desires in his heart, he flew to London and then to Kolkata, and eventually he arrived in Mayapur.
I wanted to phone Maharaja every day, but the way it worked out with the time difference and all the difficulties in just getting through to Mayapur, we managed to speak only every third day or so. The last time, two days before he left, he was having a good day. The previous day had been a bad one, but the night before, they had given him some additional medication. So when I spoke with him that last time, he was having a good day, and we had one of the best talks I have ever had with anyone in my entire life. We spoke mainly about the Mayapur project and Srila Prabhupadaâs mission. Iâll cherish that talkâthe experience of it and the lessons it containedâfor the rest of my life.
That was Thursday, March 11. The next day, Friday, we installed beautiful brass Deities of Gaura-Nitai in our Carpinteria ashram. They had come from Vrindavan, originally commissioned by Mother Kirtida for Tamal Krishna Goswami. I felt that Their coming was also part of Sridhar Swamiâs mercy, because he so fervently desired that the glories of the Pancha-tattva be spread and that we build the great temple for Them in Mayapur. So, two representatives of the Pancha-tattva had come, and I felt that Their arrival was his desire.
On Thursday I had told Maharaja, âI donât know if I will be able to phone you again before then, but the Deities have come and we will install Them Friday evening, and by your mercy weâll try to serve Them and Their dhama.â And now, whenever I look at Their beautiful forms and appealing faces, I feel that we have to do something for Themâwe have to build Their wonderful temple, as Sridhar Swami always reminded me.
This may have been Maharajaâs main contribution in recent years, at least to me in my service: He impressed upon meâand upon our entire movementâthe importance of the Mayapur project, of the âwonderful templeâ (adbhuta mandira) that Nityananda Prabhu had desired for the service of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, and that Bhaktivinoda Thakura had envisioned. Maharajaâs whole life was dedicated to Srila Prabhupada, and I think he felt that this was one of Srila Prabhupadaâs main desires left to be fulfilled. And he felt that we had to do itâand that we had to do it; it would benefit the whole society, and the whole world. He would quote Ambarisa Prabhu: âThis will be the tide that will make all the boats rise.âSo, although Sridhar Maharaja left so many wonderful legacies for us in terms of his personal qualities and activities, I think one legacy that may serve to unite the movement and fulfill one of Srila Prabhupadaâs main desires is his inspiration to push on the construction of the great temple in Mayapur.
When I was a new devotee, in my first couple of years in the movement, I approached Srila Prabhupada one day while he was getting his massage on the veranda of the Calcutta temple. âSrila Prabhupada,â I said, âI have been thinking about what pleases you most.â Srila Prabhupada was so pure, he took every word into his heart. He replied, âYes.â I said, âThe two things that seem to please you the most are distributing your books and building the big temple in Mayapur.â Srila Prabhupada smiled with great appreciation and said, âThank you very much.â
So, those were Srila Prabhupadaâs two main strategies for spreading Krishna consciousness, and Sridhar Swami helped him in both. In his early days, Sridhar Swami was instrumental in developing book distribution in North America. And in his later years, he was involved with the Mayapur project, planning and raising funds for the great temple. And by Maharajaâs mercy, on Gaura-purnima, standing in front of the Pancha-tattva Deities in Laguna Beach, I got the inspiration: âNow itâs time for Mayapur. Sridhar Swami understood that long ago. Now itâs time for you [me] to join the effort, too.â And that was important for me in other ways as wellâto let go of the past: âForgive and forget. Now letâs all work together for Mayapur, for Sridhar Swami, for Srila Prabhupada, to build the wonderful temple.â
When I asked Sridhar Swami how I could help, he requested me to speak about my experiences of Srila Prabhupada related to Mayapur. In 1973, when Srila Prabhupada came to Calcutta from England, he was very excited and enthusiastic about Mayapur. Tamal Krishna Goswami had gotten the first land, we had observed the first Gaura-purnima festival there, and now Srila Prabhupada had come with the plans for the first building. There was a detailed discussion, and at the end Srila Prabhupada said, âIf you build this temple, then Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura will personally come and take you all back to Godhead.â
Now I think, âThat might be my only hope, so Iâd better get to work. Weâd better build the Mayapur project, because I donât know how else I will ever get back to Godhead.â
His Holiness Sridhar Swami has given me a lifetime of work in service to Srila Prabhupada. Although jiva va mara va, to live or die is the same for a devoteeâand certainly that was true of Maharajaâmy own feelings are mixed. I think, âHe left so much service for me, given me so many instructions. So I must stay and execute his mission.â I think the same about Tamal Krishna Goswami. Even though part of me misses them terribly and wants to be with them, mainly I think, âThey left me so many instructions. I have so much service to do for them here.â
Of course, how long we have to do what they have askedâwhat they would wantâall depends on Krishna. Therefore, whatever time we do have left we should use in the best possible wayâin Krishna consciousness.

I met Sridhara Swami in Vancouver during his visit after he had been diagnosed and he was jolly as ever.Over the course of his visit he was very lovingly sharing his association with all the devotees and I especially remember receiving his embrace on a couple of occasions and I felt his love and compassion each time . I felt truly blessed by his embrace to feel his genuine care and love. He was originally from Vancouver and he asked me if I could preach to his brother and try to help him become a devotee.
I really think ISKCON as an organization should be more proactive concerning the health of its members. While this clearly is a serious stage IV terminal cancer case, this is what the Gerson Inst in San Diego and Mexico specializes in. Also the Hippocrates Inst in West Palm Beach. Both Gerson and Hippocrates have cured, and that’s cured, not just treated, many stage IV cancer patients, sent home to die by their conventional oncologists. We are supposed to be a holistic organization. We should take care of both the spiritual and physical health of the devotees.
At $4000 to $5000 a week (not covered by health insurance) Gerson and Hippocrates retreats are beyond the means of most devotees. Their therapies, which are juiced based and vegan, are beneficial and can be practiced at home if one is determined and willing to buy an expensive juicer and give up fried foods, dairy, sugar, etc. They both claim to have had success in curing cancer but of course there is no guarantee, and on the internet you can find stories of desperate families who spent their savings and more fighting cancer through Hippocrates Institute to no avail.
However, now that ISKCON is financed largely by donations from its congregation it might be proper for centers to purchase health insurance for all its full time monastics, as does the Catholic Church.
brahma
(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 12 December 2013, Midrand, South Africa, Evening Lecture)
Prabhupada was saying, âHow did this miracle happen to me? Iâm an old man, Iâm an old man. I am a foreigner. I came to America, I didnât have any money.â
Old man, foreigner, no money. Whoâs gonna listen to him? Nobody will care for him. He said, âHow did this miracle happen to me?â
By the grace of guru and Gauranga! When guru is pleased then Krsna is pleased then Krsna will do, Krsna will make it all possible. Then anything can be done. Prabhupada was so successful and Prabhupada became so glorious but he never accepted any glory.
He would always point at Krsna or his spiritual master, âIf you see any good qualities in me, then know it to be the good quality of my spiritual master.â He said, âJust like the moon, the moon actually has no effulgence of itâs own. Itâs just reflecting light of the sun. In the same way, if you see any good quality in me, then know itâs just a reflection of the good quality of my spiritual master.â Like that, Prabhupada is not claiming any fame. Oh no. Prabhupada was pointing at Krsna.
Prabhupada said, âKrsna is your best friend.â
âOh Prabhupada, you are our best friend,â the devotees said.
Prabhupada said, âNo, no. I may disappoint you but Krsna, he never will, he never will because Krsna is omnipotent. He can do anything and everything. He is your best friend. I may disappoint.â
So like this, Prabhupada was pointing at Krsna as our shelter, as our friend, always Krsna, putting Krsna in the centre.
PrabhupÄda: I don’t make any compromise with these rascals. No words. No, no. I never made that. Even if I don’t get any disciples, I’ll be satisfied. But I can’t make any compromise like these rascals. I cannot make. EkaĆ candras tamo hanti na ca tÄrÄ sahasrasaáž„. If I create one moon, that is sufficient. I don’t want many stars. That was my Guru MahÄrÄja’s principle, and that is my principle. What is the use of having number of fools and rascals? If one man understands rightly, he can deliver the whole world. (break)
(Morning walk, – March 23, 1974 – Bombay)
His Holiness Giriraj Maharaj is a very unusual and rare bhakta. I say this from personal experience with him. A man should know what he knows, understanding that if he expresses it, he is only regurgitating what he already knows. But, Giriraj Maharaj has refined the art of hearing….and not just superficially. He is a very deeply thoughtful devotee, with a lot of feeling as well. Sometimes after sharing with him one on one, I have the feeling that “here is a devotee that one can confide in and share one’s deepest thoughts and realizations.” It is a wonderful quality to possess, and one that is not earned by mechanically performing vaidhi bhakti.
We used to speak in the old days about some pop singers and say that they have “soul”. Well, Giriraj Maharaj is such a bhakta, a “soul-man”, in a very good way. I have recently visited his ashram in the Santa Barbara area of California, and I offered my respect to the Gaura Nitai Deities he mentions. In fact, his altar is mixed with spiritual memorabilia from many of our godbrothers, and those he reveres.
I remember that Srila Prabhupada’s dear godbrother and friend, Srila Sridhar Maharaj, used to say that extreme humility can attract Krishna. The kind of self-effacing, self-minimizing “negative” can attract the Supreme “Positive”. Nice things to meditate upon. Pusta Krishna das