I would like to offer this class to my very dear friend and Godbrother, Caru D\u0101sa Prabhu, who is one of the great pioneers of the sa\u1e45k\u012brtana movement. I always told him that if he wasn\u2019t doing what he was doing\u2014spreading K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a consciousness in such innovative ways\u2014he should have been the president of the country. He always reminded me of a president or a very highly placed senator; he was astoundingly articulate. Just listening to him was always a feast for the ears.<\/p>\n
He started a radio station way before social media or mass communication was available. When people were still sending snail mail, he had a bustling radio station where he was regularly putting out K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a Conscious information. He went off to Utah\u2014it’s a Mormon state\u2014and made friends with all the Mormons. They love him there; everybody likes him wherever he goes. He started beautiful temples that his wife, Vaibhav\u012b, designed herself. Both of them are highly skilled.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I\u2019ve been really conflicted because, hearing that he passed\u2014I guess we heard about it on Tuesday night. On one side, I can just see the momentum he had in K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a consciousness. Externally, I didn\u2019t lament at all because I thought, “Well, of course, he was about 80 years old, and he just stepped out, moved on and obviously, he had a completely successful life from my perspective and the way I saw Prabhup\u0101da talk about Jay\u0101nanda Prabhu, who passed away just before Prabhup\u0101da.” So, we had some vision about how Prabhup\u0101da would observe devotees leaving the world, and he wrote about it.<\/p>\n
On the other side, I noticed I\u2019ve been mourning very deeply. There is psychological adjustment for me happened after Badr\u012bn\u0101r\u0101ya\u1e47a Mah\u0101r\u0101ja left, and after Caru Prabhu left. I\u2019ve been having really intense dreams. I realized that after Badr\u012bn\u0101r\u0101ya\u1e47a Mah\u0101r\u0101ja left, I was imagining what it would be like to have died. I actually put myself in the position of: ‘Okay, I already passed away and I came back into the life I\u2019m in now, and I\u2019m watching myself.’ I could just feel that it was a mourning process.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s one of the hardest things to cope with, and that is the loss of God siblings. We lose mothers, fathers, and so forth, but many of us\u2014at least for me\u2014I have known my Godbrothers and Godsisters longer than I knew my parents for. It is the hardest thing, but it\u2019s also part of the maturing process in Krishna consciousness to lose parents and loved ones, and then cope, tolerate, and be observant of how Krishna tells us to process such things, and watch how Prabhup\u0101da did it also.<\/p>\n
Then, of course, when you start losing beloved Godbrothers, reality shifts. Once again, there\u2019s another way of processing everything; taking shelter of the Holy Name and the \u015b\u0101stra becomes more urgent. It\u2019s always urgent, but it seems more urgent in those cases.<\/p>\n