{"id":20490,"date":"2015-10-17T08:45:17","date_gmt":"2015-10-17T08:45:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/?p=20490"},"modified":"2016-10-10T07:17:34","modified_gmt":"2016-10-10T05:17:34","slug":"iskcon-50-daily-meditations-srila-prabhupada-meditations-oct-9-17-2015","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/?p=20490","title":{"rendered":"ISKCON 50 – S.Prabhupada Daily Meditations – Oct. 9-2015 – Dec. 31-2016"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nBy Satsvarupa dasa Goswami<\/strong><\/p>\n

October 9, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

ISKCON is officially observing Srila Prabhupada\u2019s coming to America and forming his society at 26 Second Avenue, in the year 2016. But 50th<\/sup> anniversary events have already occurred in 2015 and two major festivals have been celebrated. The observance of the day Prabhupada left India on board the Jaladuta on August 13, 1965 was celebrated in grand fashion in an indoor stadium in Calcutta on August 13, 2015. On September 17, 1965, after a thirty-five day voyage, the Jaladuta arrived in Boston U.S.A. Prabhupada took a walk in the City and wrote his magnificent poem \u201cMarkine Bhagavata-dharma<\/i>\u201d. The devotees in Boston observed the 50th<\/sup> anniversary of this event with an elaborate three-day festival in which they hired a ship that held nine hundred persons and re-enacted the Jaladuta\u2019s arrival at Commonwealth Pier.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have been asked by the Fiftieth Anniversary Committee to write a daily meditation on Prabhupada from now until the end of 2016. I am very honored by the invitation, but feel humbled and daunted to carry it out. I intend to keep an approximate diary of Prabhupada\u2019s activities during the weeks and months of the remainder of 2015 and 2016. I cannot be responsible for a daily calendar of his life as no such record exists. I will consult the Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i> and other early memoirs for outstanding events, but I will rely on my own realizations to construct the daily \u201cmeditations\u201d, not focusing solely on the external acts of each day, but Prabhupada\u2019s prevailing mood and my praise and worship of his presence in America in his mission on behalf of his Spiritual Master and Lord Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By October 9th<\/sup>, Prabhupada was scheduled in his routine of residing at the YMCA and visiting the apartment of his sponsors, Gopal and Sally Agarwal in Butler, Pennsylvania. Every morning he would rise early at the Y and write on his Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> translations and purports. One of his few possessions was a small, manual typewriter and he would type out his \u201cemotional ecstasies\u201d on the Second Canto of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. He would then walk the seven blocks to the home of the Agarwal\u2019s apartment and arrive there at 7:00 and prepare his breakfast. Gopal left for work at 7:45 and Prabhupada began preparing lunch at 9:00. He rolled capatis and cooked rice and vegetables in his three-tier brass burner. He worked alone for two hours while Sally did housework and took care of her two young children. He would finish cooking and take prasadam at 11:30. At noon, Gopal came home for lunch and Sally would prepare a sandwich for him, but after a few days he abandoned his sandwiches and Prabhupada prepared enough prasadam for the whole family. \u201cOh, and we enjoyed it so much!\u201d remembers Sally.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Tomorrow I will tell of Prabhupada\u2019s relationship with the Agarwals and how he \u201cfit in\u201d with their conservative, middle class, suburban, American milieu.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 10, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Agarwals thought Prabhupada had come to America only to find contacts who would help him finance his books. They didn\u2019t think he was interested in creating any followers or starting a movement. At least they hoped he wouldn\u2019t do anything that would cause tension or controversy. Perhaps Prabhupada, seeing their nervousness, agreed to keep a low profile out of consideration for his hosts. But Prabhupada, as an Indian in Vaisnava robes, created a sensation and curiosity wherever he went. Rather than have people speculate on why an Indian swami in Vaisnava dress was living at their home, Sally thought it would be better if they read about it in the newspapers. She took him to the local Butler Eagle<\/i> where they agreed to do a feature article on him. A photographer came to the Agarwal\u2019s home and took a picture of Prabhupada standing holding an open volume of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, the caption read \u201cAmbassador of Bhakti Yoga\u201d.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Over time Sally grew very fond of Prabhupada. \u201cHe was the most enjoyable man. I really felt like a sort of daughter to him. Even in such a short time… He enjoyed everything. I liked him. I thought he was tremendous.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 11, 2015<\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although Prabhupada didn\u2019t want to create waves, he asked if they could have open house meetings in the evenings. The Agarwals agreed, and every night Prabhupada spoke and answered questions from guests. Many people came from miles around. The people were fascinated by him, but they didn\u2019t know what to ask. The real interest in him was only as a curiosity. One evening a guest asked, \u201cWhat do you think of Jesus Christ?\u201d And Prabhupada replied, \u201cHe is the Son of God.\u201d Then he added that he \u2013 the guest \u2013 was also a son of God. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada spoke to various groups in the community. He spoke at the Lions Club in early October. He also gave a talk at the Y and at St. Fidelis College in Herman, Pennsylvania. And he spoke regularly to guests at the Agarwal home. Professor Larsen, the Chairman of the Philosophy Department at Slippery Rock State College, read about the visiting Swami in the newspaper and invited him to lecture on campus. Prabhupada gave two lectures in one day and had informal talks with Professor Larsen. Larsen was impressed by Prabhupada. \u201cDuring the course of the day, there grew in me a warm affection for this man because he was unmistakably a good man who had found his way to a stability and peace that is very rare.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 12, 2015<\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, you did not come to America to sleep at a YMCA and spend your days at the apartment of middle class Americans where your main association was a friendly housewife. But you patiently and humbly accepted your situation at Butler Pennsylvania as a first testing ground. Your stay there was helpful. You got firsthand experience of American life and gained confidence that your health was strong and your message was communicable. You were glad to see that America had the necessary ingredients for your vegetarian diet and that the people could understand your English. Your sponsor in Butler was for one month, and in Boston the immigration official stamped your passport with an expected stay in America of only two months. Initially, you did not have great expectations. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada spent his autumn weeks peacefully and actively in Butler. He gave a number of one-time lectures in colleges and institutions and spoke every evening with guests at the Agarwal home. In the afternoon and the early hours of the morning, he continued working at his herculean task of translating and writing purports to the entire Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> (twelve cantos), now on the Second Canto. He had no apparent plans on how to finance the printing of his books and arrange for their wide distribution, but he was \u201cblindly\u201d following the order of his spiritual master to print books in English for the people of the West. When one surrenders to following the instructions of the spiritual master, he becomes empowered by Krishna and Lord Caitanya and by Their will anything was possible. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The students at the college seemed interested in what he had to say, but the occasional one-time lectures gave no opportunity for follow-up or development of personal relationships. Nor did any of the students seem interested in seeking out a spiritual master. The guests at the Agarwal home saw him mostly as a curiosity, and the Agarwals presented him as visiting America only to promote his books and not interested in followers. So the situation was limited, but Prabhupada saw it as Krishna\u2019s arrangement. As he had written in \u201cMarkine Bhagavata Dharma<\/i>\u201d when he had just landed at the Boston Pier, \u201cMy dear Lord Krishna, You are so kind to this useless soul, but I do not know why You have brought me here. Now You can do with me as You like … O Lord! I am just like a puppet in Your hands. So if You have brought me here to dance, then make me dance, make me dance, O Lord make me dance as You like.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 13, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was not demanding in Butler. For himself, he kept his strict sadhana<\/i> of chanting and hearing, his Bhagavatam<\/i> writing, his vegetarian diet offered to Krishna. But he didn\u2019t demand much from others. When he came early one afternoon to the Agarwal apartment and found them eating meat and Sally apologized \u2013 \u201cOh Swamiji, we have just prepared meat and the smell will be disagreeable to you,\u201d \u2013 he said, \u201cThink nothing of it. Think nothing of it.\u201d When the guests came in the evening to see him, they were always smoking cigarettes and he said, \u201cThink nothing of it.\u201d Gopal Agarwal said, \u201cHis interest was not to have you change your way of life. He wasn\u2019t telling anyone they should be vegetarian or anything. He didn\u2019t stress that we should give up many things.\u201d Prabhupada did not presume to be their guru. He was a humble guest, \u201can ambassador of bhakti-yoga<\/i>\u201d.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Yet he gave lectures \u2013 at colleges, at a seminary, the Lions Club, the YMCA. And he spoke to the guests every evening at the Agarwal home. We cannot imagine him speaking watered-down philosophy. We have no recordings of his talks at Butler, but surely he taught Bhagavad-gita As It Is<\/i>, as he always did. Somehow, without compromising, he made his parampara<\/i> message accessible and understandable \u2013 and not off-putting \u2013 to his American audiences. Bhagavad-gita<\/i> is so fascinating and non-sectarian, its teachings of the eternal Self and the transmigration of bodies so revolutionary to Western audiences, and its main theme of devotional service to the Supreme Personality of Godhead so appealing to the heart, that no doubt Prabhupada\u2019s lectures were enthralling, even to newcomers.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 14, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was interested in the American ways and people, which he met for the first time in Butler, Pennsylvania. Sally and Gopal took him to the supermarket. Sally recalls, \u201cIt was such fun taking him to the supermarket. He loved opening the packages of okra or frozen beans, and he didn\u2019t have to clean them and cut them and do all those things. He opened the freezer every day and just chose his items.\u201d Later Prabhupada would frown on the use of frozen food and would insist on fresh vegetables. But for now he was relieved to find them on the market in any form and accept them. Before coming to America, he thought that he might not be able to find such vegetables and he would have to subsist on potatoes. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada would do his own laundry every day. He washed his clothes in the Agarwal\u2019s bathroom and hung them to dry on the clothesline outside. He sometimes accompanied his hosts to the laundromat and was interested to see how the Americans washed and dried their clothes. Sally said Prabhupada was the most enjoyable and easiest houseguest that she had ever had. As she went about doing her household duties, she never had to worry about entertaining him because he would sit and chant on his beads. He sat on the couch while she swept with a vacuum cleaner and he was interested in that and they talked for a long time about it. Of course, this was not preferred activity for Prabhupada. He wanted to preach, distribute his books, and meet people who were anxious and qualified to inquire into the Absolute Truth. But he waited for Krishna to give him the opportunity. He was flexible and tolerant. He wanted something more than he found in Butler, but what Sally Agarwal observed was true. He was never bored or agitated. He depended on Krishna to place him in more favorable circumstances, but in the meantime, he could be peaceful and enlivened chanting on his beads. He was atmarama<\/i>; self-satisfied.<\/p>\n

October 15, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On October 15th<\/sup> in Butler, Srila Prabhupada received a letter from Sumati Morarji in Bombay. She was the head of the Scindia Navigation Company and a devotee of Lord Krishna in the Vallabhacarya disciplic succession. Prabhupada approached her and received a donation to print First Canto Volume 1 of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> which was published in 1962. In the summer of 1965, she agreed to give Bhaktivedanta Swami permission for free passage to America on her ship, the Jaladuta. She wrote a friendly reply to his letter of September 24th<\/sup>. She was glad to hear he had safely arrived in the U.S.A. and recovered from his sickness en route. She was \u201cdelighted\u201d that he had started activities and delivered some lectures. At the end of her short letter, she wrote, \u201cI feel that you should stay there until you fully recover from your illness and return only after you have completed your mission.\u201d Prabhupada regarded the last line of this letter as especially significant: His well-wisher was urging him to stay in America until he had completed his mission. He had told the immigration officials that he would be staying in America for two months. He had one month\u2019s sponsorship in Butler and then no support. \u201cSo perhaps I can stay another month,\u201d he thought. So he had told the officials two months. Sumati Morarji, however, was urging him to stay on. He saw that the prospects for preaching to the Americans were good, but he felt he would need support from India.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is interesting that Prabhupada took Sumati Morarji\u2019s advice so importantly. She was not his mentor. She was an elderly lady benefactor who had helped him with two significant donations. But Prabhupada knew that Krishna can speak through anyone. Sumati Morarji\u2019s letter influenced Prabhupada to rethink his entire stay in America from short term to long term. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 16, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada was nearing the end of his stay in Butler. It had been a pleasant introduction to America. As a maha bhagavata<\/i> who loves all living beings, Prabhupada had been kind to his sponsors and they had reciprocated with him. Sally had become like an affectionate daughter and Gopal, who was more formal, had been an accommodating host. Prabhupada also interacted with the children. He had been present when their toddler, Brij, took his first steps on unsteady little legs. There is a photo of Prabhupada smiling brilliantly and clapping his hands. It had been a celebration. The three-year-old daughter, Pamela, had been attending Sunday school and learned about Jesus. When she saw Prabhupada dressed in his robes, she called him \u201cSwami Jesus.\u201d When Prabhupada finally understood what she was saying, he smiled and said, \u201cAnd a child shall lead them.\u201d Another time, Pamela teethed on Prabhupada\u2019s shoes (his white pointy plastic slippers). Sally thought, \u201cOh those shoes. They have been all over India and my kid is chewing on them.\u201d He was becoming something like a family member.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He had spent long enough in Butler and now he had one month left in America. Living at the Agarwals\u2019 was safe and secure, but the preaching opportunities were limited in Butler. Besides, they had agreed to sponsor him for one month only. They had paid for his living at the Y, given him rent-free residence in their apartment and purchased the food with which he prepared his meals. He decided to go to New York City and try to preach there until his time was up, but how would he live there? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 17, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada knew no one in New York City, but he had a contact: Dr. Ramamurti Mishra. He had written Dr. Mishra from Butler and included a letter of introduction that had been given to him by a respectable gentleman in Bombay, Paramananda Mehra. He had also phoned Dr. Mishra, who welcomed Prabhupada to join him in New York. As a sannyasi, Prabhupada was used to picking up and leaving one place for another. As a mendicant preacher, he had no remorse about leaving behind the quiet life of the Butler YMCA, and he had no attachment for the domestic habitat where he could cook and talk with Sally about vacuum cleaners, frozen foods and American ways. But why had he gone to Butler? <\/p>\n

And why was he going to New York? He saw it as Krishna\u2019s grace. As a pure devotee of Krishna, he wanted to be an instrument in distributing Krishna consciousness. Mrs. Agarwal was sorry to see him go. \u201cAfter a month, I really loved the Swami.\u201d (Sally Agarwal has become something of a celebrity in ISKCON. She attended the 2015 Festival of Inspiration in New Vrindavan and spoke to the assembled devotees about her relationship with Prabhupada. She proudly announced that it was she who had signed the sponsorship papers for the Swami to come to America, since Gopal was not a U.S. citizen. After her talk, the devotees gathered around her and asked her more questions about Prabhupada in Butler.)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sally said she felt \u201csick\u201d to see Prabhupada go. She stayed up until two in the morning before he had to leave with Gopal to catch the bus to Pittsburgh. Before going to New York he was going to Philadelphia, where he had arranged a lecture at the University of Pennsylvania with Dr. Norman Brown, a professor of Sanskrit. Before leaving, Gopal gave Prabhupada a handful of change in a sock and told him how to use the shower at the bus station and how to use the automat restaurants in New York City \u2013 \u201cand that\u2019s all he left us with.\u201d<\/p>\n

October 18, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On October 18th<\/sup>, Prabhupada left Butler via Philadelphia for New York City. I do not have a record of Prabhupada\u2019s visit to Philadelphia. All I know is that Ravindra Svarupa Prabhu, then a student at the University of Pennsylvania, caught a glimpse of a person in saffron robes walking across the campus. It was a vision of ecstasy. He was so impressed, he told his girlfriend about it \u2013 later to become his wife and an initiated disciple of Prabhupada, Saudamini devi dasi.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Manhattan: At the Port Authority Bus Terminal, a student of Dr. Mishra\u2019s met Prabhupada as he arrived from Philadelphia and escorted him directly to an Indian festival in the City. There Prabhupada met Dr. Mishra, as well as Ravi Shankar and his brother, the dancer Uday Shankar. It may have been a bit of a shock for Prabhupada to plunge into New York City for the first time and be immediately brought to a non religious Indian festival where he met the impersonalists, Dr. Mishra, the world famous sitarist Ravi Shankar and his dancer brother. They were not exactly like-minded pure devotees of Krishna. But Prabhupada was not only a pure Vaisnava; he was a former hometown \u201cCalcutta man\u201d and a businessman for many years. He knew how to deal with worldly people in intense city life. He associated with these people like a lotus on the water; without getting wet. After the Indian festival, Prabhupada accompanied Dr. Mishra to his apartment at 33 Riverside Drive, beside the Hudson River. The apartment had large windows overlooking the River. Dr. Mishra gave Prabhupada a room to himself. Before coming to America, Dr. Mishra had been a Sanskrit scholar and a guru, as well as a doctor. He had written a number of books, including Self-Analysis and Self-Knowledge, A Work Based on the Teachings of the Monistic Philosopher, Sankara.<\/i> After coming to the United States he had continued his medical profession, but as he began taking disciples he dropped his practice. Although a sannyasi, he did not wear the traditional saffron or orange dhoti and kurta, but instead wore tailored Nehru jackets and white slacks. His complexion was dark, whereas Prabhupada\u2019s was golden, and he had thick black hair. At forty-four, he was young enough to be Prabhupada\u2019s son. Apparently, he was financially well off. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Tomorrow we will tell more of Prabhupada and Dr. Mishra.<\/p>\n

October 19, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dr. Mishra had been suffering from bad health when Srila Prabhupada came into his life, and Prabhupada\u2019s arrival seemed the perfect medicine. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ramamurti Mishra: His Holiness Bhaktivedanta Gosvamiji really knocked me down with love. He was really an incarnation of love. My body had become a skeleton and he really brought me back to life \u2013 his cooking and especially his love. And his devotion to Lord Krishna. I was very lazy in the matter of cooking, but he would get up and have ready.<\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dr. Mishra appreciated that Prabhupada, cooking with the precision of a chemist, would prepare many dishes, and that he had a gusto for eating.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ramamurti Mishra: It was not bread he gave me \u2013 he gave me prasadam. This was life, and he saved my life. At that time I was not sure I would live, but his habit to eat on time, whether I was hungry or not \u2013 that I very much liked. He\u2019d get up and say, \u201cAll right, this is bhagavat prasadam,\u201d and I would say, \u201cAll right.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Joan Suval, an old student of Dr. Mishra\u2019s, often saw Srila Prabhupada and her teacher together at the Riverside apartment.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji was very sweet. I remember him as a very, very good man. Even in the practical details of living in New York, which seemed to involve him very much, because he was a practical man he was looking for the best place to begin his work. I remember very well that he was always careful about washing his clothes out every night. I would come in and find a group of students in the living area of Dr. Mishra\u2019s apartment and in the bathroom would be hung Swamiji\u2019s orange robes.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada would sometimes discuss with Dr. Mishra the aim of his visit to America. Expressing his spiritual master\u2019s vision of establishing Krishna consciousness in the West. He requested Dr. Mishra to help him, but Dr. Mishra would always refer to his own teaching work which kept him very busy, and his plans for leaving the country soon. After a few weeks, when it became inconvenient to maintain Prabhupada at the apartment, Dr. Mishra shifted him to his hatha yoga studio on the fifth floor of 100 West 72nd<\/sup> Street near Central Park. The large studio was located in the center of the building and included an adjoining private room where Prabhupada stayed. It had no windows.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As I will describe tomorrow, Prabhupada and Dr. Mishra were philosophically at odds. Dr. Mishra would not allow Prabhupada to preach to his students. Confined to a windowless room in a hatha yoga studio, Prabhupada could not yet begin his missionary activities. But, as with the Agarwals in Pennsylvania, Prabhupada won over his New York host with his cooking. Pancharatna prabhu has asked me to describe the mission driving Prabhupada and his qualities and how they are relevant and inspirational to devotees today. There is not much that we can describe yet<\/i> of Prabhupada\u2019s missionary activities, but his habit of serving people Krishna prasadam already stands out. Sometimes devotees today are restricted from straight preaching, such as to their parents or disinterested persons, but we can always serve them Krishna prasadam and hardly anyone will refuse. Prabhupada showed this open secret from his first days in America. Where I live, in an ashram in Stuyvesant Falls New York, my disciple Baladeva serves the garbage man full sumptuous prasadam every day and the man is being visibly purified. We can always remember Srila Prabhupada in 1965 serving prasadam in restricted situations and be inspired and prepared to do the same. <\/p>\n

October 20, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dr. Mishra accepted the Absolute Truth in the impersonal feature (or brahman<\/i>) to be Supreme. Prabhupada stressed the supremacy of the personal feature (or bhagavan<\/i>), following the Vedic theistic philosophy that the most complete understanding of the Absolute Truth is personal. The Bhagavad-gita<\/i> says that the impersonal brahman<\/i> is subordinate to bhagavan<\/i> and is an emanation from Him, just as the sunshine is an emanation from the sun planet. This conclusion has been taught by the leading transcendental acarayas<\/i> of ancient India, such as Ramanuja and Madhva. And Srila Prabhupada was in disciplic succession from Madhva. Dr. Mishra, on the other hand, followed Sankara, who taught that the impersonal presence of the Absolute Truth is all-in-all and that the Personality of Godhead is ultimately an illusion. Whereas Srila Prabhupada\u2019s theistic philosophy accepted the individual spirit self (atma<\/i>) as an eternal servant of the spiritual being (bhagavan<\/i>), Dr. Mishra\u2019s view accepted that the spiritual self is not an individual. Rather, his idea was that since each person was identical with God, the Supreme Brahman, there is no need to worship God outside oneself. As Dr. Mishra would put it, \u201cEverything is one.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada considered Dr. Mishra a \u201cmayavadi<\/i>\u201d because of his inadvertent acceptance that maya, illusion, is greater than the Absolute Truth. For Srila Prabhupada, not only was the impersonalist philosophy unpalatable, it was an insult to the Personality of Godhead. According to Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> (7.24 and 9.11), \u201cUnintelligent men, who know Me not, think I have assumed this form and personality. Due to their small knowledge, they do not know My higher nature, which is changeless and supreme … Fools deride Me when I appear in the human form. They do not know My transcendental nature and My spiritual dominion over all that be.\u201d Lord Caitanya had strongly refuted the Mayavadi philosophy: \u201cEverything about the Supreme Personality of Godhead is spiritual, including His body, opulence and paraphernalia. Mayavada philosophy, however, covers His spiritual opulence and advocates the theory of impersonalism.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A mendicant, Prabhupada was temporarily dependant on the goodwill of his Mayavadi acquaintance with whom he regularly ate and conversed, and with whom he accepted shelter. But what a great inconvenience it was! He had come to America to speak purely and boldly about Krishna, but he was being restricted. In Butler he had been confined by his hosts\u2019 middle-class sensibilities; now he was silenced in a different way. He was treated with kindness, but he was considered a threat. Dr. Mishra could not allow his students to hear the exclusive praise of Lord Krishna as the Supreme Personality of Godhead.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Spending most of his time in his new room, Srila Prabhupada kept at his typing and translating. But when Dr. Mishra held his yoga classes, Prabhupada would sometimes come out and lead a kirtan or lecture.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Robert Nelson (one of Prabhupada\u2019s first young sympathizers in New York): I went to one of Dr. Mishra\u2019s services and Dr. Mishra talked. Swamiji was sitting on a bench and then all of a sudden Dr. Mishra stopped the service and he gets a big smile and says, \u2018Swamiji will sing us a song.\u2019 I think Dr. Mishra wouldn\u2019t let him speak. Somebody told me Dr. Mishra didn\u2019t want him to preach. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Years later Srila Prabhupada remembered the situation of the early days of 1965 in a conversation with his disciples. I used to sit in the back and listen to his meetings silently. He was speaking all impersonal nonsense and I kept my silence. Then one day he asked if I would like to speak and I spoke about Krishna consciousness. I challenged that he was speaking manufactured philosophy and all nonsense from Sankaracarya. He tried to back out and said he was not speaking, Sankaracarya was speaking. I said, \u2018You are representing him. That is the same thing.\u2019 He then said to me, \u2018Swamiji, I like you very much, but you cannot speak here.\u2019 But although our philosophies differed and he would not let me preach, he was kind and I was nice to him.<\/i><\/p>\n

October 21, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Every morning, several hours before dawn, Prabhupada would rise, take his bath, chant Hare Krishna on his beads and work at his translating. While outside his closed, windowless chamber, dawn came and the city awoke. He had no stove, so daily he had to walk the seven blocks to the Riverside Drive apartment to cook. It would be late morning when he would come out on to the busy street. He would walk north on Columbus Avenue amid the steady flow of pedestrians, pausing at each intersection in the sweeping breeze from the river. Instead of the small town scenery of Butler, he passed through the rows of thirty-storey office buildings on Columbus Avenue. At street level were shoe repair shops, candy stores, laundries and continental restaurants. The upper storeys held the professional suites of doctors, dentists and lawyers. At Seventy-fifth Street, he would turn and walk west through a neighborhood of brownstone apartments, then cross Amsterdam to Broadway, which was separated by a center island park area. The park greenery could more accurately be described as \u201cblackery\u201d here, since it was covered with soot and city grime. Broadway displayed its produce, shops and butcher shops, with their stands extending on to the sidewalk. Old men sat on benches on the thin strip of park between the north and southbound traffic. The last block on Seventy-fifth Street before Riverside Drive held highrise apartment buildings with doormen. Thirty-three Riverside Drive also had a doorman.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes Prabhupada would walk in Riverside Park. Still careful for the condition of his heart, he liked the long stretches of flat walking area. Sometimes he would walk from Dr. Mishra\u2019s studio down Seventy-second Street to Amsterdam Avenue to the West End Superette, where he would buy produce and spices for his cooking. Sometimes he would wander through Manhattan, without any fixed direction, and sometimes he would take buses to different areas of the City.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Here we see Prabhupada forced to do the same austerity he did in Butler: He slept in a room with no cooking facilities and had to walk many blocks to his host\u2019s apartment, where he could cook. He would also take walks around the neighborhood and even further afoot in the streets of Manhattan. And even take bus rides. New York is a dangerous city to wander in, especially for an old man. But Srila Prabhupada was fearless. As a \u201cCalcutta boy\u201d he was not afraid of big cities. He was not wandering aimlessly. He was studying the mentality of the people and even looking for possibilities for buildings he might purchase for use as a temple, if he could get support. Yet we who were accustomed to never let Prabhupada go out alone but always accompanied him with a few young men, if not a larger group, feel protective and even fearful hearing of him wandering in Manhattan alone. In later years when Prabhupada was once walking with his devotees in Calcutta, he remarked how as a young boy he had climbed up to the top of the Victoria Memorial on the scaffolding when it was under construction. One of his disciples said, \u201cYou must have been brave.\u201d Prabhupada replied, \u201cStill I am brave, or how could I have come to America alone?\u201d <\/p>\n

October 22, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On weekends, Prabhupada would accompany Dr. Mishra to his Ananda Ashram one hour north of the City in Monroe, New York. Dr. Mishra therefore maintained three high-rent properties, his Riverside Drive apartment, his yoga studio on West Seventy-second Street near Central Park, and his sprawling country estate in upstate New York. Ananda Ashram had a large building and acres of country land with a lake. It had a retreat atmosphere for the city-dwelling, yoga students. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Joan Suval, who used to drive Prabhupada and Dr. Mishra there, would overhear their animated conversations in the back of her car. Although they spoke in Hindi, she could hear their conversations turn into loud shouting arguments; afterwards, they would again become friends. At Ananda Ashram, Prabhupada would usually hold kirtanas<\/i> with Dr. Mishra\u2019s students joining him in the chanting and even dancing. Dr. Mishra was particularly fond of Prabhupada\u2019s chanting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ramamurti Mishra: I have never seen or met any devotee who sang so much. And his kirtana<\/i> was just ambrosial. If you pay attention and become relaxed, that voice has very electrical vibrations on your heart. You cannot avoid it. Ninety-nine per cent of the students, whether they liked it or not, got up and danced and chanted. And I felt very blessed to meet such a great soul. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although Prabhupada was restricted from lecturing, his devotional kirtana<\/i> won over the impersonal yoga teachers and students. This is another example that is relevant to us today. In situations where lecturing is not feasible, it is often possible for devotees to hold kirtana<\/i>. Lord Caitanya emphasized ecstatic congregational chanting as His main means of spreading Krishna consciousness in India. He reserved the dissemination of intellectual discourses to learned scholars like Sarvabhauma Bhattacharya and Prakasananda Sarasvati and He enjoyed intimate, philosophical teachings with confidential devotees like Rupa and Sanatana Gosvami and Ramananda Raya. But for the mass of people, love of God was distributed by Lord Caitanya\u2019s empowered chanting of the Holy Names. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

ISKCON devotees who engage in public harinama<\/i> are purifying and influential. Daily harinama<\/i> is held in Jacksonville Florida at the University of Florida; six hours a day seven days a week in Union Square Manhattan; downtown in Port of Spain Trinidad, and in other places around the world. Most ISKCON temples hold at least a weekly harinama <\/i>in public for several hours. For a period when harinama<\/i> was de-emphasized, the general public began to ask, \u201cWhere are the Hare Krishnas? Do they still exist?\u201d Public harinama<\/i> is the most visible and symbolic form of presence for the Movement to the general public. Although he could not speak, Prabhupada thought that it was well worth his trouble to attend Dr. Mishra\u2019s yoga classes in the City and at Ananda Ashram \u2013 because it gave him the opportunity to lead kirtana<\/i>. It created a sensation and made a deep impression on the participants. By cooking and distributing prasadam<\/i>, and by leading kirtanas<\/i>, he was infiltrating the Mayavadi<\/i> camp. <\/p>\n

October 23, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At Ananda Ashram, Prabhupada met an important contact in a young man named Harvey Cohen. In the future weeks, we will tell how Harvey played a crucial role in increasing Prabhupada\u2019s followers and influencing his move downtown. Harvey was a newcomer to Ananda Ashram and he had difficulty in beginning to practice hatha-yoga<\/i>. When he arrived at the morning meditation all the mats were taken up, so he picked a spot at the back of the room where he could lean against the wall. He noticed seated at one side was an older Indian gentleman in saffron cloth and wrapped in a pinkish wool blanket. He seemed to be muttering to himself and later Harvey discovered that he was praying. It was Swami Bhaktivedanta. His forehead was painted with a white V-shaped sign and his eyes were half shut. He seemed very serene.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey tried, but he couldn\u2019t do the raja-yoga<\/i>. During his morning meditation, he found himself more attracted to the green mist above the lake outside the window, than to the circle on the wall he was supposed to be meditating on. He went to his room. The rain was increasing and beating against the window. It was peaceful and he was glad to be alone. He read for awhile. Suddenly he sensed that someone was standing in the doorway. Looking up, he saw it was the Swami. He was wrapped in his pinkish blanket, like a shawl. \u201cCan I come in?\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey nodded yes, and the Swami asked if he could sit in the corner. After sitting, he asked what Harvey was doing at the ashram and what kind of yoga he was studying. \u201cI don\u2019t know much about it,\u201d Harvey said, \u201cbut I think I\u2019d like to study hatha-yoga<\/i>.\u201d This didn\u2019t impress the Swami. \u201cThere are higher things than this,\u201d he explained. \u201cThere are higher and more direct forms of yoga. Bhakti-yoga<\/i> is the highest \u2013 it is the science of devotion to God.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey Cohen: As he spoke, I got the overpowering realization that he was right. He was speaking the truth. A creepy, ecstatic sensation came over me that this man was my teacher. His words were so simple and I kept looking at him all weekend. He would sit so calm and dignified, with warmth. He asked me to visit him when he got back to the City.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey followed up on this and started seeing Prabhupada in his room at Seventy-second Street. He began telling his friends downtown about the new Swami.<\/p>\n

October 24, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Hurta Lurch (a student at Ananda Ashram): My direct encounter with him was in the kitchen. He was very particular and very definite that he would eat only what he cooked himself. He would come and say, \u201cGet me a pot.\u201d So when I brought him a pot, he would say, \u201cNo, bigger.\u201d So I brought him a bigger pot and he would say, \u201cNo, smaller.\u201d Then he would say, \u201cGet me potato.\u201d So I would bring him a potato. He\u2019d prepare food very, very quietly. He never spoke much. He prepared potatoes and then some vegetables and then capatis. After cooking, he would eat outside. He would usually cook enough to go around for Dr. Mishra and about five or six other people. Every day he would cook that much when he was there. I learned to make capatis from him. He usually stayed only for the weekends and then went back to the City. I think he felt that was where his main work was to be done. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was certainly true that Prabhupada\u2019s real work was in the City, but what could he do there with no money and no support? He was thinking of staying only a few weeks and then going back to India. In the meantime, he was working on his Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> manuscripts, walking in Manhattan, and writing letters. He was studying a new culture, calculating practically and imagining hopefully how to introduce Krishna consciousness to the Western world. In later October, he expressed his thoughts to Sumati Morarji:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So far as I have studied, the American people are very much eager to learn about the Indian way of spiritual realization, and there are so many so-called yoga ashrams in America. Unfortunately, they are not very much adored by the government, and it is learned that such yoga ashrams have exploited the innocent people, as has been the case in India also. The only hope is that they are spiritually inclined, and immediate benefit can be done to them if the cult of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> is preached here …<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He told Mrs. Morarji \u201cthat just to see the mode of reception,\u201d he had attended the performance of a Madrasi dancer and the American public appreciated the dance. He explained that the Bhagavatam<\/i> could also be preached through music and dance, but he had no means to introduce it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He told Mrs. Morarji that the Christian missions, backed by huge resources, were preaching all over the world, so why couldn\u2019t the devotees of Krishna combine to preach the Bhagavatam<\/i> all over the world? He also noted that the Christian missions had not been effective in checking the spread of Communism, whereas a Bhagavatam<\/i> movement could be, because of its philosophical, scientific approach. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He was deliberately planting a seed of inspiration in the mind of the devoted, wealthy Sumati Morarji. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But Sumati Morarji did not respond. Since her initial letter in which she had advised him to stay on in America until his mission was completed, she had not answered his correspondence. Prabhupada knew that if she wanted she could do something big, so he continued to write her. <\/p>\n

October 25, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada wrote to his Godbrother Tirtha Maharaj, who had become president of the Gaudiya Math, to remind him that their spiritual master, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, had a strong desire to open preaching centers in the Western countries. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta had several times attempted to do this by sending sannyasis<\/i> to England and other European countries, but Prabhupada noted, \u201cwithout any tangible results.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have come to this country with the same purpose in view, and as far as I can see, here in America there is very good scope for preaching the cult of Lord Caitanya …<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada pointed out that there were certain Mayavadi groups who had buildings, but were not attracting many followers. But he had talked with Swami Nikhilananda of the Ramakrishna Mission, who had given the opinion that the Americans were suitable for bhakti-yoga<\/i>. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am here and see a good field for work, but I am alone without men and money. To start a center here, we must have our own building.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If the leaders of the Gaudiya Math would consider opening their own branch in New York, Srila Prabhupada would be willing to manage it. But without their own house, he reported, they could not conduct a mission in the City. Srila Prabhupada wrote that they could open centers in many cities throughout the country if his Godbrothers would cooperate. He repeatedly made the point that although other groups did not have the genuine spiritual philosophy of India, they were buying many buildings. The Gaudiya Math, however, had nothing. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If you agree to cooperate with me as I have suggested above, then I shall extend my visa period. My present visa ends soon. But if I receive your confirmation immediately, then I shall extend my visa period. Otherwise, I shall return to India.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had always done much preaching by letter writing. When he was alone as a householder in India he had written many letters to influential leaders, including a prophetic letter to Mahatma Gandhi asking him to quit politics and study Bhagavad-gita<\/i> or die an inglorious death. He had written to big businessmen and top politicians. They were not mere formal letters asking for funds, but deeply personal, sincere appeals and filled with philosophical explanations of the need to take up the teachings of the Bhagavad-gita <\/i>to solve all the social, political and economic problems of the present day. Prabhupada did not get much favorable response from these letters, but he was undaunted in attempting them. He was like a voice crying in the wilderness. Now alone in New York City, penniless and practically homeless, he appealed directly for funds to purchase a building for a temple. He wrote to Godbrothers in the Gaudiya Math and to pious, wealthy business persons. <\/p>\n

October 26, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada received a reply to his letter to Tirtha Maharaj in Calcutta. Prabhupada explained his hopes and plans for staying in America, but he stressed that his Godbrothers would have to give him their vote of confidence as well as some tangible support. His Godbrothers had not been working cooperatively. Each leader was more interested in maintaining his own building than in working with others to spread the teachings of Lord Caitanya around the world. So how would it be possible for them to share Prabhupada\u2019s vision of establishing a branch in New York City? They would see it as his separate attempt. Yet despite the unlikely odds, he appealed to their missionary spirit and reminded them of the desires of their spiritual master, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura. Their Guru Maharaj wanted Krishna consciousness to be spread in the West. But when Prabhupada finally got Tirtha Maharaj\u2019s reply, he found it unfavorable. His Godbrother did not argue against his attempting something in New York, but he politely said that the Gaudiya Math funds could not be used for such a proposal. <\/p>\n

October 27, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

YOU ALONE<\/p>\n

You were alone in the city
where no one knew Krishna.
Only a backward boy came,
but Krishna in your heart
was your direct companion.
You had kept your courage on the lonely Atlantic,
and now alone in the ocean of vices.
The Lord protected you,
just as He protects the sages in the forest.
Loitering in neighborhoods
thinking how they could be transformed
for Krishna\u2019s mission.
But it seemed impossible,
and you went to Scindia\u2019s man
to ask when a ship was returning.
Still you extended your stay again:
Let me try a little longer.<\/em><\/p>\n

Subway trains rumbled beneath your feet,
steel-reinforced concrete soared to the sky,
carcasses hung in the deli windows.
The laws of the streets,
the laws of the traffic
\u2013 rush or get run over
the false sense of Uptown Civilization,
dignity for two-legged animals.<\/p>\n

But then why are you here?
Now, because it is my duty.
I have brought some message for you people
as ordered by my spiritual master.<\/em><\/p>\n

October 28, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Appropriately, Prabhupada had described himself as \u201ca man not to be disappointed.\u201d He was convinced that if there was a center where people could come, hear from a pure devotee, the genuine God consciousness culture of India could begin in America. Yet, because he had made his plans depending on an expensive building in Manhattan, his goals seemed unreachable. Still, he was persistently writing to prominent devotees in India, although they were not interested in his plans. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy should they not help?\u201d he thought. \u201cAfter all, they were devotees of Krishna. Shouldn\u2019t the devotees come forward to establish the first Krishna temple in America?\u201d Certainly he was qualified and authorized to spread the message of Krishna. As for the place, New York was perhaps the most cosmopolitan city in the world. He had found a building \u2013 not very expensive, a good location \u2013 and there was a great need for a Krishna temple here to offset the propaganda of the Indian Mayavadis. The Krishna bhaktas<\/i> to whom he was writing understood Lord Krishna to be not simply a Hindu deity, but the Supreme Lord, worshipable for the whole world. So they should be pleased to see Krishna worshiped in New York. Krishna Himself said in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, \u201cGive up all other duties and surrender to Me.\u201d So if they were Krishna\u2019s devotees, why would they not help? What kind of devotee was it who did not want to glorify the Lord?<\/p>\n

October 29, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada did not judge beforehand who would serve Krishna\u2019s mission and who would not. He was fully surrendered and fully dependant on Krishna. In obedience to his spiritual master he would approach everyone without discrimination to ask for help. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There was Sumati Morarji. She had helped him in publishing the Bhagavatam<\/i> and she had sent him to America. In a recent letter to her, he had only given hints:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am just giving you the idea, and if you kindly think over the matter seriously and consult your beloved Lord Bala Krishna, surely you will be further enlightened in the matter. There is scope and there is certain necessity also, and it is the duty of every Indian, especially the devotees of Lord Krishna, to take up the matter.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But he had received no reply. He had not heard from her since Butler. Those words from her that had seemed prophetic and they had struck with him: \u201cI feel that you should stay there until you fully recover from your illness and return only after you have completed your mission.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now Sumati Morarji must do something big. He told her point-blank:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I think therefore that a temple of Bala Krishna in New York<\/i> may immediately be started for this purpose. And as a devotee of Lord Bala Krishna, you should execute this great and noble work. Until now, there is no worshipable temple of the Hindus in New York, although in India there are so many Christian establishments and churches. So I shall request you to do this noble act and I will record it in the history of the world that the first Hindu temple is started by a pious Hindu lady, SRIMATE SUMATI MORARJI, who is not only a big business magnate in India, but a pious Hindu lady and a great devotee of Lord Krishna. This task is for you, and glorious at the same time.<\/p>\n

October 30, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada assured Sumati Morarji that he had no ambition to become the proprietor of a house or temple in America; but for preaching, a building would be absolutely required:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

They should have association of bona fide devotees of the Lord, they should join the kirtana<\/i> glorifying the Lord, they should hear the teachings of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, they should have intimate touch with the temple or place of the Lord, and they should be given ample chance to worship the Lord in the temple. Under the guidance of the bona fide devotee, they can be given such facilities and the way of the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> is open for everyone. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He informed her that he had located a building \u201cjust suitable for this great missionary work.\u201d It was ideal, \u201cas if it was built for this purpose only.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

… And your simple willingness to do the act will complete everything smoothly. The house is practically three storeys. Ground floor, basement and two storeys up, with all the suitable arrangements for gas, heat, etc. The ground floor may be utilized for preparation of prasadam<\/i> of Bala Krishna, because the preaching center will not be for dry speculation, but for actual gain \u2013 for delicious prasadam<\/i>. I have already tested how the people here like the vegetable prasadam<\/i> prepared by me. They will forget meat-eating and pay for the expenses. American people are not poor men like the Indians, and if they appreciate a thing, they are prepared to spend any amount on such hobby. They are being exploited simply by jugglery of words and bodily gymnastics, and still they are spending for that. But when they will have the actual commodity and feel pleasure by eating very delicious prasadam<\/i> of Bala Krishna, I am sure a unique thing will be introduced in America. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My term to stay in America will soon be finished. But I am believing in your foretelling, \u201cYou should stay there until you fully recover your health and return after you have completed your mission.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sumati Morarji did not reply to Srila Prabhupada\u2019s direct appeal. <\/p>\n

October 31, 2015<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s mission was really not yet underway. He was confined to a windowless chamber in a hatha<\/i> yoga studio and was not allowed to preach to Dr. Mishra\u2019s students. He knew he needed a place of his own, but he had no money. So far his only plan was to write to wealthy patrons in India. He had located a building on 72nd<\/sup> Street which he thought was suitable and was relatively inexpensive considering Manhattan real estate \u2013 even in 1965 the price was one hundred thousand dollars with a twenty thousand dollar cash down payment. Prabhupada thought that if he could get the twenty thousand dollars from India, he could move in, open the doors, start regular programs of kirtana<\/i>, lecturing and prasadam<\/i> distribution and the Americans would come forward and donate enough to pay the monthly mortgage payments. It was a little far-fetched to think he would immediately have enough funds to provide immediate ample prasadam<\/i> distribution and quickly develop a supporting congregation to pay the mortgage. So far he had not found any supporters in America, but then he had not yet been able to preach to them and show the worth of his mission. The proceeds from the sales of the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> in the book stores he had placed them in were negligible. Although he had not yet received any favorable responses from the correspondence he had sent to patrons in India \u2013 it was hard enough to get any<\/i> response from them \u2013 he cancelled his plan to return immediately to India and went ahead and extended his visa to stay in America.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Externally his prospects were not good, but he was depending on the will of guru and Krishna. Even when he was at sea on the Jaladuta and had nothing at all and had just survived two heart attacks, he had optimistic views of his mission, as he had expressed in an intimate poem. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cSri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura, who is very dear to Lord Gauranga, the son of Mother Saci, is unparalleled in his service to the Supreme Lord Krishna. He is that great saintly spiritual master who bestows intense devotion to Krishna at different places throughout the world. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBy his strong desire, the Holy Name of Lord Gauranga will spread throughout all the countries of the western world. In all the cities, towns and villages on earth, the oceans, seas, rivers and streams, everyone will chant the Holy Name of Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAs the vast mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu conquers all directions, a flood of transcendental ecstasy will certainly cover the land. When all the sinful, miserable living entities become happy, the Vaisnava\u2019s desire is then fulfilled. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAlthough my Guru Maharaj ordered me to accomplish this mission, I am not worthy or fit to do it. I am very fallen and insignificant; therefore, O Lord, now I am begging for Your mercy that I may become worthy, for You are the wisest and most experienced of all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Judged by outward appearances, his situation looked somewhat hopeless, but seeing in the light of the mission that drove him, he maintained strong hopes.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

November 1, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So far, Prabhupada\u2019s sole strategy had been to seek support from India. It was a plan that would ultimately fail, but Krishna had not as yet revealed that to him or showed him an alternative. Tirtha Maharaj, the president of the Gaudiya Math, had told him that the Math\u2019s Institution funds could not be used for Prabhupada\u2019s mission in America. It was a plain and clear rejection. Yet somehow Prabhupada managed to see a glimmer of hope in his letter and persisted in writing him back describing the building he had found and seeking support. After writing letters to Sumati Morarji with a general description of his activities and trying to indirectly inspire her to help, he had pulled out all the stops and asked her to donate for the building and become famous in history as the pious woman who had started the first temple to \u201cBala-Krishna\u201d in America. But she hadn\u2019t even written a reply. Prabhupada thought of other possible donors in India. He wrote to Padmapat Singhania, a very wealthy man who was known as a devotee of Dwakanatha-Krishna, but received no reply.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At this time Prabhupada was living alone in New York City with no friends, disciples or financial support. He had found a building in Manhattan that he wanted to purchase and use as a temple, but his only attempt to raise funds was to write rich donors in India and it seemed unlikely they would help. From outside appearances, Prabhupada may have seemed like a lonely, unsuccessful person, but he felt otherwise. He believed firmly that he was living intimately with the Supreme Lord Krishna, and that He was directing His will. Prabhupada wrote later in a Bhagavad-gita purport (16.1-3) that to be a sannyasi<\/i> one should be unafraid to live alone, without dependence.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cFor a sanny\u0101s\u012b,<\/em> the \ufb01rst quali\ufb01cation should be fearlessness. Because a sanny\u0101s\u012b<\/em> has to be alone without any support or guarantee of support, he has simply to depend on the mercy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. If one thinks, \u201cAfter I leave my connections, who will protect me?\u201d he should not accept the renounced order of life. One must be fully convinced that K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a or the Supreme Personality of Godhead in His localized aspect as Param\u0101tm\u0101 is always within, that He is seeing everything, and He always knows what one intends to do. One must have \ufb01rm conviction that K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a as Param\u0101tm\u0101 will take care of a soul surrendered to Him. \u2018I shall never be alone,\u2019 one should think. \u2018Even if I live in the darkest regions of a forest I shall be accompanied by K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a, and He will give me all protection.\u2019 That conviction is called abhayam,<\/em> fearlessness. This state of mind is necessary for a person in the renounced order of life.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada felt a close contact with his beloved spiritual master, Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur. There are two ways of associating with the spiritual master, by vapu<\/i> and vani<\/i>. Vapu<\/i> means physical presence and vani<\/i> means following the teachings. Vapu<\/i> is temporary and vani<\/i> is eternal. Prabhupada felt the intimate personal touch of his spiritual master\u2019s instructions that he preach Krishna consciousness in English in the West. He believed his spiritual master was always watching over his actions and guiding him through his vani<\/i>. Prabhupada in 1965 never felt lonely or depressed or in need. He had powerful, loving well-wishers and they would take care of him. It was just a matter of time before his mission would come to fruition. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 2, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

How to Meditate on Srila Prabhupada All the Time<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One psychologist was talking about the importance of noticing things: If you notice when you get angry, or you notice when you are acting, you can curb these tendencies. He recommended a simple technique of just paying attention to your own breathing and noting how your skin or eyes feel. In order to work deeply, the noticing should be kept very simple. It is not a matter of thinking of concepts, but the primitive act of noticing. When I read of this technique, I thought of applying it to my Prabhupada meditations. I think it\u2019s something anyone can do.<\/p>\n

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For example, someone pronounces the word \u201cPrabhupada.\u201d You become alert. You don\u2019t have to think about it. You can feel \u201cPrabhupada\u2019s name was just spoken.\u201d On another occasion, say you are taking prasadam<\/i> in the association of devotees, suddenly you notice that you are among devotees and the prasadam<\/i> you are eating has been cooked in a particular way; that the child of the couple to your left has a Sanskrit name \u2013 everything has been taught to us by Prabhupada. You may feel this in an overall way, or you may notice particular details. It doesn\u2019t require a verbal acknowledgement, but you want to feel the awareness of Prabhupada in everything you do.<\/p>\n

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This act of noticing is not intended as a substitute to the more discursive methods of glorifying Prabhupada with our intelligence and words, but it can supplement our present meditation. Sometimes we are tired of talking, or we realize that words will not be able to capture our experience. Perhaps we are with people who have no interest in Prabhupada, or we ourselves don\u2019t feel inspired enough to speak. At times like this, this \u201cawareness\u201d technique can be fully utilized. We stop in the midst of outward activities, perhaps starting by becoming aware of our own breath, and then turn up the \u201cawareness\u201d volume until we perceive Prabhupada\u2019s blessing and presence. <\/p>\n

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If we are fortunate to live in a society of devotees, then whether we \u201cnotice\u201d or not, we are regularly being exposed to Prabhupada\u2019s lectures, books, kirtanas <\/i>and way of life. Even when we don\u2019t actively remember him, we can be assured that our inner self is benefiting by exposure to Prabhupada. If an iron rod is placed in fire gradually it will become hotter and hotter, even if only by imperceptible degrees. Prabhupada used to give that example that a preoccupied airplane passenger may not notice when the plane takes off, but after awhile he will be surprised to see that he is thousands of feet above the Earth. Similarly, even if we sometimes fail to notice the benefit of living in Prabhupada\u2019s shelter, eventually Prabhupada will bless us to become more aware. <\/p>\n

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The Scriptures inform us that the association of devotees gives the greatest benefit and is the only solace in this material world. More important than techniques meant to bring us into greater awareness of Prabhupada is to first situate ourselves solidly in the association of devotees. In this way our hearts and minds will automatically fill up with Krishna consciousness. But when we do become situated, we will want to develop our abilities to remember and love Prabhupada. We will want to fill our minds only with positive impressions of Prabhupada\u2019s presence in our lives. This will not only help us come closer to Krishna, but will give us greater appreciation for Prabhupada\u2019s other followers. It will help to eradicate envy from our hearts, which in turn will give us a stronger desire to absorb ourselves in Prabhupada consciousness.<\/p>\n

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November 3, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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What Were Srila Prabhupada\u2019s Private Thoughts in 1965<\/p>\n

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vai\u1e63\u1e47avera kriy\u0101 mudr\u0101<\/i><\/p>\n

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Devotees sometimes try to guess what was on Prabhupada\u2019s mind. Whenever this question comes up, someone inevitably quotes the familiar saying vai\u1e63\u1e47avera kriy\u0101 mudr\u0101 vij\u00f1e n\u0101 bhujhaya, <\/i>\u201cone cannot understand the mind of the Vaisnava.\u201d Prabhupada sometimes added, \u201cNor should one try to inquire into his previous life.\u201d The meaning of this verse may also be extended to mean that people should not criticize an acarya<\/i> or try to give him advice.<\/p>\n

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Prabhupada makes this point in Nectar of Instruction<\/i>: \u201cThe spiritual master must not be subjected to the advice of a disciple, nor should a spiritual master be advised to take instructions from those who are not his disciples.\u201d (Nectar of Instruction<\/i>, Text 6 Purport)<\/p>\n

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We can get a general impression of Prabhupada\u2019s thoughts in 1965 from what he wrote in his letters, or what he later reiterated in conversations, but it is not possible to totally understand the mind of the pure devotee. Only Krishna knows.<\/p>\n

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November 4, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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Further Intimate Understanding of Srila Prabhupada<\/p>\n

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It is especially important for disciples not to try to second-guess their guru. I remember in the beginning days at 26 Second Avenue, devotees sometimes wondered, when does Prabhupada actually talk to Krishna? Maybe he does it in his sleep. For awhile, there was even speculation whether Prabhupada was even actually Krishna Himself. <\/p>\n

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The disciple can only understand things rightly when they are explained by the acarya<\/i> according to sastra<\/i> and sadhu<\/i>. It is stated in the Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i>, \u201cAlthough I know that my spiritual master is a servitor of Sri Caitanya, I know him also as a plenary manifestation of the Lord.\u201d (CC Adi 1.44)<\/p>\n

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Interpretations on the position of the spiritual master are probably inevitable though. I remember once hearing some devotees talking about japa<\/i>. One devotee said that we should chant very intently and call out to Krishna. Japa<\/i>, when done rightly, is an intense experience either of love of God, or of aspiring for love of God. <\/p>\n

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But another devotee countered this by saying, \u201cI\u2019ve heard Srila Prabhupada chanting japa<\/i> on a tape. I don\u2019t mean to speculate on the mind of the acarya<\/i>, but his voice sounds very regular and not particularly emotional.\u201d<\/p>\n

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This is an example of someone making a judgement based on external perception of the guru\u2019s activities. He heard the guru\u2019s voice and decided that he wasn\u2019t chanting Hare Krishna with much emotion. From that, he concluded that he was chanting \u201clike Prabhupada.\u201d<\/p>\n

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We do not know how Prabhupada chants, although we can hear the sound of his chanting. Neither do we know what he thinks about when he chants. He was not obliged to reveal these things to us. He sometimes quoted Jesus Christ\u2019s statement, \u201cThere are many things I have to tell you, but you cannot bear to hear them now.\u201d Prabhupada said, \u201cYes, the acarya<\/i> knows things, but he does not tell everything to the disciples.\u201d<\/p>\n

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November 5, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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Further Intimate Understanding of Srila Prabhupada (con\u2019d)<\/p>\n

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Lord Caitanya also followed this principle of not revealing everything on His mind. Although He was deeply immersed in the conjugal rasa<\/i>, He spoke about Radha and Krishna\u2019s pastimes to only a very intimate few. <\/p>\n

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We can be certain that Prabhupada did not reveal everything on his mind to us. Even if we were to ask him, \u201cWhat do you think of when you chant, Prabhupada?\u201d, it is unlikely he would reveal his innermost state. There is a sastric<\/i> statement that when a pure devotee appears in the world, he is not really seen by the people. His appearance is compared to a cloud in relation to the moon. The moon is actually stationary in the sky, but it appears to be blowing across the sky with the clouds. It is an optical illusion. Similarly, a pure devotee often appears to be an ordinary person moving through the world, but actually his mind is fixed only on Krishna. \u201cOne should not try to understand the mind of the acarya<\/i>.\u201d This should be a stabilizing reminder to us. Although we want to know our spiritual master as deeply as possible \u2013 we will listen to him and pray to him and study his books to find out exactly what he wants from us \u2013 we should be careful not to look for so many hidden meanings, or to speculate on esoteric principles. Prabhupada will give us what we need to know.<\/p>\n

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We have to trust him to reveal himself to us as we qualify ourselves and know that he understands each of our hearts in this regard. Let us first digest what he has given us, and then increase our remembrance and love for him by studying his writings and activities as told in his biographies and memoirs. <\/p>\n

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Let us first understand him as he has revealed himself to us, and then by service and inquiry, trust him to give us more. <\/p>\n

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What does a pure devotee experience when he chants Hare Krishna? When does Prabhupada talk with Krishna? Where is Prabhupada now? When I go to the spiritual world, how will I recognize Prabhupada? Prabhupada often replied to such questions: \u201cWhen you go there, then you will understand.\u201d<\/p>\n

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November 6, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada, having obtained an extension on his Visa, stayed on. America seemed so opulent, yet many things were difficult to tolerate. The sirens and bells from fire engines and police seemed like they would crack his heart. Sometimes at night he would hear a person being attacked and crying for help. From his first days in the City, he had noted that the smell of dog stool was everywhere. And although it was such a rich city, he could rarely find a mango to purchase, and if he did, it was very expensive and usually had no taste. From his room he would sometimes hear the horns of ocean liners, and he would dream that some day he would sail around the world with a sankirtana<\/i> party, preaching in the major cities of the world. <\/p>\n

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Swami Nikhilananda of the Ramakrishna Mission had advised Prabhupada that if he wanted to stay in the West, he should abandon his traditional Indian dress and strict vegetarianism. Meat-eating and liquor, as well as pants and coat, were almost a necessity in this climate he had said. Before Prabhupada left India, one of his godbrothers had demonstrated to him how he should eat in the West with a knife and fork. But Prabhupada never considered taking on Western ways. His advisors cautioned him not to remain an alien but to get into the spirit of American life, even if it meant breaking vows he had held in India; almost all Indian immigrants compromised their old ways. But Prabhupada\u2019s idea was different, and he could not be budged. The others may have had to compromise, he thought, but they had come to beg technological knowledge from the West. \u201cI have not come to beg something,\u201d he said, \u201cbut to give something.\u201d<\/p>\n

November 7, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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In his solitary wanderings, Srila Prabhupada made acquaintances with a number of local people. There was Mr. Ruben, a Turkish Jew, who worked as a New York City subway conductor. Mr. Ruben met Prabhupada on a park bench, and being a sociable fellow and a world traveller, sat and talked with the Indian holy man.<\/p>\n

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Mr. Ruben: He seemed to know that he would have temples filled up with devotees. He would look out and say, \u201cI am not a poor man. I am rich. There are temples and books; they are existing; they are there, but the time is separating us from them.\u201d<\/i> He always mentioned \u201cwe\u201d and spoke about the one who sent him, his spiritual master. He didn\u2019t know people at that time, but he said, \u201cI am never alone.\u201d He always looked like a lonely man to me. That\u2019s what made me think of him like the holy man, Elijah, who always went out alone. I don\u2019t believe he had any followers.<\/i><\/p>\n

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November 8, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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When the weather was not rainy, Prabhupada would catch the bus to Grand Central Station and visit the Central Library on 42nd<\/sup> Street. His Srimad-Bhagavatams<\/i> were there \u2013 some of the same volumes he had sold to the U.S. Embassy in New Delhi \u2013 and he took pleasure in seeing them listed in the card catalogue and learning that they were being regularly checked out and read. He would sometimes walk through U.N. Plaza or walk up to the New India House on Sixty-fourth Street, where he had met Mr. Malhotra, a Consulate officer. It was through Mr. Malhotra that he had contacted the Tagore Society and had secured an invitation to lecture before one of their meetings.<\/p>\n

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Riding the bus down Fifth Avenue, he would look out at the buildings and imagine that some day they could be used in Krishna Consciousness. He would take a special interest in certain buildings: One on Twenty-third Street and one with a dome on Fourteenth Street attracted his attention. He would think of how the materialists had constructed such elaborate buildings and yet had made no provisions for spiritual life. Despite all their great achievements of technology, the people felt empty and useless. They had these great buildings, but the children were going to LSD. <\/p>\n

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November 9, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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November 9<\/p>\n

(6:00 P.M.)<\/p>\n

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While Prabhupada sat alone in his fifth floor room in Dr. Mishra\u2019s yoga studio, the lights suddenly went out. This was his experience of the first moments of the New York City blackout of 1965. In India, power failure occurred commonly, so Prabhupada, while surprised to find the same thing happening in America, remained undisturbed. He began chanting the Hare Krishna mantra on his beads; meanwhile, outside his room, the entire New York metropolitan area had been plunged into darkness. The massive power failure had suddenly left the entire City without electricity, trapping 800,000 people in the subways and affecting more than 30,000,000 people in nine states and three Canadian provinces. <\/p>\n

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Two hours later, a man from Dr. Mishra\u2019s apartment arrived at the door with candles and some fruit. He found Prabhupada in a pleasant mood, sitting there in the darkness chanting Hare Krishna. The man informed him of the serious nature of such a blackout in New York City. Prabhupada thanked him and returned again to his chanting. The blackout lasted until 7 o\u2019clock the next morning. <\/p>\n

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November 10, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada once remarked, years later, that now that he had thousands of disciples he had many headaches, whereas in the beginning when he was alone with Krishna he was happy depending only on the Lord. This was an unusual statement because Prabhupada usually expressed that he was more enthusiastic and hopeful with more men and money. Nevertheless, he made the remark. He was not disturbed or in anxiety being alone in the jungle (New York City) with scarce apparent hopes of starting his mission. He maintained the six symptoms of surrender through saranagati<\/i>: (1) Humility \u2013 (2) dedication of the self \u2013 (3) acceptance of the Lord as one\u2019s only master \u2013 (4) the consciousness that \u201cKrishna will surely protect me\u201d \u2013 (5) execution of only those acts favorable to pure devotion \u2013 and (6) renunciation of conduct averse to pure devotion. And thus he was steady and peaceful in his outwardly unstable situation. He was driven by his mission and would be active in pursuing the path to carrying it out, but he would not be unduly worried when immediate results did not appear. Everything was in Krishna\u2019s hands and Prabhupada was His surrendered instrument.<\/p>\n

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November 11, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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At this time in Prabhupada\u2019s life, he was most restricted in conducting his mission. He was forbidden from preaching to Dr. Mishra\u2019s yoga students. He had no money of his own and was dependent on Dr. Mishra\u2019s support. He only had about two men who were interested in visiting him in his windowless room, Robert Nelson and Harvey Cohen, but they were not able to offer much help. When the thousands of loyal, surrendered followers of Prabhupada today read of his neglected condition in 1965, they may feel frustration and wish they were present in 1965 to give him care and support. Years later when he had many followers, he once said, \u201cI am the same person now that I was in 1965, the only difference is that now I have devotees and money.\u201d But what a difference! We feel poignant and helpless when we read of his condition in 1965. Why weren\u2019t we there to help him? Each devotee can ask himself or herself, \u201cWhere was I in 1965 when Prabhupada needed me?\u201d Maybe you were too young or not even born yet, but some of us were old enough; we were just too entangled in Maya. In short, we were not ready.<\/i><\/p>\n

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We have to be grateful to Prabhupada that he was patient when he had no assistance and that he persisted and endured until Krishna gave him the opportunities to spread the Movement. <\/p>\n

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Reading the accounts of his situation in 1965, we simply pray, \u201cPlease stay in America, Prabhupada. Don\u2019t give up. Help is coming. Krishna is guiding you.\u201d<\/p>\n

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November 12, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada\u2019s Books<\/p>\n

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In 1965 Prabhupada worked on the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> singlehandedly. He typed on his small manual typewriter, the one he had brought with him from India. As in India, he worked with no assistance. He translated the Sanskrit verse, composed the word-to-word synonyms and then, referring to his book of commentaries by previous acaryas<\/i>, he wrote his own Bhaktivedanta purports. He had no one to help him with the English editing and no specific plan how to finance the publications.<\/p>\n

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Today\u2019s meditation is a general reflection on Prabhupada\u2019s books. Prabhupada always did the needful \u2013 whatever was best for spreading Krishna consciousness. His own Krishna consciousness was mature; therefore, he wanted to give Krishna consciousness to others. As he preached, his own enthusiasm and attachment to Krishna increased more and more. Although he was perfect, the ocean of Krishna consciousness is always increasing. <\/p>\n

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The BBT publishers list many of Prabhupada\u2019s accomplishments in the \u201cAbout the Author\u201d section at the end of Prabhupada\u2019s books. Finally they state, \u201cSrila Prabhupada\u2019s most significant contribution, however, is his books.\u201d Thus we think of Prabhupada as a writer of transcendental literature. He was a translator and a commentator on sastra<\/i>. He was a philosophical writer who carefully represented the parampara<\/i> in modern English. His writing contained his personal experiences and realizations. <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada had much personal love and enthusiasm for his practice of writing the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. He had the satisfaction towards the end of his life of seeing his works quickly edited and published by the BBT and then distributed with wild enthusiasm by his sankirtana<\/i> devotees. <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada was not attached to his own writing. He saw it as Krishna\u2019s writing with himself only recording what Krishna wanted to say. Although he knew it was important to spend as much time as possible producing Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> \u2013 and it also gave him personal peace and satisfaction to produce Bhagavatam<\/i> \u2013 yet he also had to forego his writing time in order to manage ISKCON. Some days would go by and he would not touch the dictaphone. We would gently remind Prabhupada that we hoped he would go on working on his translations. He didn\u2019t need our reminders. He loved the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, but he also saw that he couldn\u2019t always work under all circumstances. He sometimes spoke of giving up other activities in favor of his translation, but he was never able to do that. <\/p>\n

November 13, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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In 1965, Srila Prabhupada had no Movement to manage. He was relatively free to work on the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, but he had other things that took up his time. Every morning he had to take a long walk from the yoga studio room on 72nd<\/sup> Street to Dr. Mishra\u2019s apartment on Riverside Drive where he cooked his lunch. He also was involved in trying to buy a building as a temple and writing many thoughtful letters to India seeking support. He also washed his own clothes daily and sometimes spoke to a few young men who would come to his room and had to instruct them in Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

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Today\u2019s meditation describes how throughout his career Prabhupada had to sacrifice time in writing his books to execute other activities in his mission.<\/p>\n

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As Prabhupada\u2019s disciples and followers, we can try to understand Prabhupada\u2019s example in the context of our own lives. Nowadays, we lament that Prabhupada didn\u2019t give us more literature so that we could relish it continually. Padma Purana<\/i>, Visnu Purana<\/i>, the later Cantos of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, more works by the six Gosvamis, the Ramayana<\/i> and Mahabharata<\/i> … Prabhupada stated his intention to do all these books with the Bhaktivedanta purports, but it never came to pass.<\/p>\n

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There is a message for us in the fact that these works were not completed. One message is that we also have to sacrifice our interest in order to do the needful. Prabhupada\u2019s unfinished work on Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> does not go down in history as an incomplete task, rather, it speaks volumes in its own way. Now, for all time, we can see the example of Prabhupada giving up his own interest, in a personal sense, in order to carry out the duties and responsibilities of Founder-Acarya. He wanted to protect his Movement and make it strong and this required his attention. Sometimes the thing he paid attention to seemed to be unfruitful. He worked at stopping the arguments between devotees \u2013 he heard their complaints about each other in the mail \u2013 but the same problems and falldowns continued regardless of his attention. Still, he couldn\u2019t give up on ISKCON. ISKCON was his child, and he was an ever-responsible parent. He wanted to leave us not only with books, but with a strong ISKCON Movement.<\/p>\n

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We who want to please Prabhupada have to keep in mind that attention to ISKCON was very important to Prabhupada. As he was willing to put aside other interests in order to further the interest of his Movement, we should also be prepared to do that sacrifice. <\/p>\n

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November 14, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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\u201cMake Me Dance\u201d<\/p>\n

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One of my favorite lines from the poems that Prabhupada wrote is, \u201cMake me dance, make me dance, O Lord make me dance as You like.\u201d Prabhupada declared himself a puppet in the hands of Krishna, and he asked Krishna to please fulfill the actual meaning of the name Bhaktivedanta. That poem wasn\u2019t written as the musings of a reclusive scholar, it was written on board the Jaladuta, a freighter with one Indian-style passenger cabin. The one passenger, Bhaktivedanta Swami, had no money, yet he was striking out for America. The poem was written by a preacher, who although fearless, appeared to be momentarily overcome by his first sight of an American city. Even Lord Krishna hesitated when He faced the Aghasura demon. Srila Prabhupada didn\u2019t hesitate in his purpose or waver in his determination, but he realized and admitted his helpless situation to Krishna, his friend. <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada was always turning to Krishna, but it is natural for a devotee to turn even more to Krishna when he is in a difficult situation. Nanda Maharaja also did this. When Nanda Maharaja was returning from Mathura, he began to fear that something may have happened to Krishna, his baby in Gokula, so he began to think of Krishna very intensely and chant the Holy Names. Similarly, Prabhupada\u2019s Krishna consciousness was intensified on that boat-crossing as he suffered heart attacks and seasickness. He expressed himself intimately to his spiritual master and to Krishna in poems.<\/p>\n

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The cry, \u201cPlease make me dance,\u201d is from the heart. Just as a poor man cries out, \u201cGive me money,\u201d so the preacher who is faced with the tremendous task of preaching to foreigners, to people who have demoniac habits, also cries out, \u201cPlease make me dance. Please fulfill the purport of my name: devotion<\/i> and knowledge<\/i>.\u201d It took an extraordinary combination of devotion and knowledge to make even the slightest impression on these proud and dirty-minded Americans who Prabhupada saw that day with his first glimpse of Boston, Massachusetts.<\/p>\n

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How would he do it? Prabhupada found the clue in the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. In his poem, he selected several verses describing in a systematic way the words \u201cthe Lord is working within the heart of every conditioned soul for his betterment. This takes place, according to Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, when one hears the glories of Krishna, the modes of nature which grip each person\u2019s heart are broken up, and liberation is possible. By recalling these verses, Prabhupada took heart for the task of preaching in America. He gathered his determination just before officially entering the country through immigration in New York City. When the boat docked at its final destination, although outwardly he may have appeared to be an immigrant lost in the foreignness of a new country, inwardly he had gained resolve. As he expressed in his poem, he was already fully surrendered to the task and awaiting Krishna to direct his steps. <\/p>\n

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November 15, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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\u201cMake Me Dance\u201d Part 2<\/p>\n

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\u201cMake me dance!\u201d This is not only a desperate cry; there seems to be celebration in his voice. He wants to dance in ecstasy for Krishna! He wants to be Krishna\u2019s puppet. Lord Krishna did make Prabhupada dance in America. We saw his stately kirtana<\/i> steps in the storefront at 26 Second Avenue and his dancing in Tompkins Square Park, his \u201cSwami Step\u201d before the students at Stanford University and Golden Gate Park San Francisco, at Ohio State University and at public halls in London. He danced along with the energetic steps of his disciples in the hand-to-hand rings of bounding hippies at Golden Gate Park. Actually, all the dancing during ISKCON kirtanas<\/i> was but a response to Prabhupada\u2019s hand gesture inviting them, \u201cGet up and dance!\u201d<\/p>\n

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Also, if we think of the word dance in a broader sense as an ecstatic spontaneous celebration, as movement with rhythm and grace, then we can see that Krishna made Prabhupada dance in many ways. His writing is a dance of the spirit liberated from matter. His expressions were filled with lightheartedness with the heaviness of guru that only the pure devotee can deliver. Krishnadasa Kaviraj also used the image of dancing when referring to his writing. He said his words were like dolls under the puppetmaster and they had danced to their full satisfaction throughout the chapters of the Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i>.<\/p>\n

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It is significant that Prabhupada referred to his work as a \u201cMovement.\u201d This doesn\u2019t refer to political agitation with lobbying or marches on the Capital; it refers to the dancing in kirtana<\/i> in the streets, and in the movement of gathering numbers of disciples all over the world to create a favorable eddy against the current of Kali-yuga disasters. Prabhupada\u2019s movement is like the dance of a young cowherd boy upon the many, many hoods of the poisonous serpent.<\/p>\n

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Prabhupada is still engaged in his movement, still dancing for you and me, and waiting for us to join the dance. To hold back during this dance means to miss the whole purpose of human existence. Prabhupada is gesturing, \u201cGet up and dance. Just surrender to Krishna. Do as I am doing. Do the \u2018Swami Step\u2019 back to the spiritual world with me.\u201d Let us take courage in Prabhupada\u2019s words: \u201cIf You have brought me here to dance, then please make me dance as You like.\u201d<\/p>\n

November 16, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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Questions and Answers Part 1<\/p>\n

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Were there some questions we should have asked Prabhupada but didn\u2019t? Were some questions taboo? Were there some questions he didn\u2019t like to answer? Were there some questions he couldn\u2019t answer? What was his general attitude towards answering questions \u2013 was he very open, or limited?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In general, I think we can safely say that Prabhupada was very open and willing to discuss almost any subject from the Krishna conscious point of view. He might point out an impertinent or illogical question, but he would answer it anyway. He considered questions that did not relate to the points he raised in his lecture as improper. Questions after the lecture should be asked to clear up doubt. So many topics can be discussed in questions, but Prabhupada chose one area of the philosophy to discuss in his lectures and he preferred the questions to be relevant to that. Even if someone asked something off the topic though, Prabhupada would answer it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

An example of an impertinent question: Soon after Prabhupada performed my marriage, I wrote him a letter and asked him about sex life within the grhastha<\/i> asrama<\/i>. Prabhupada wrote back and said, \u201cI am a sannyasi<\/i>; this is not proper that you ask me questions like this. However, I know that you have no one else to turn to for answers, so I will give you the answer.\u201d Srila Prabhupada was lenient in giving information, even if the questions weren\u2019t right. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some people asked Prabhupada questions that were too hair-splitting. He considered these unnecessary for those who were seriously trying to practice Krishna consciousness. Other inquiries were too esoteric. I once asked Prabhupada, \u201cIn your Teachings of Lord Caitanya<\/i>, I read that one should follow an eternal resident of Vrindavana. Could you tell me more about that?\u201d Prabhupada replied, \u201cDon\u2019t try for this. That is a very advanced topic. It will automatically be revealed to you. Just go on serving.\u201d Similarly, when Prabhupada was asked about the origin of the living entity, he said, \u201cIt is not important. There is a history to it, but right now you may not be able to understand it. The important thing is that you are now in a fallen condition and you need to go back to Godhead. It does not matter how you came here.\u201d Prabhupada did not evade questions, but like the acarya<\/i> he himself described in Krishna Book<\/i>, he sometimes gave information and sometimes withheld it. Prabhupada knew what the important inquiries were.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 17, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Questions and Answers Part 2<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes Prabhupada would be blunt: \u201cThis is not a very intelligent question.\u201d \u201cAre all your devotees pure devotees? How many pure devotees are there on the planet now?\u201d Prabhupada replied, \u201cThis is not a very intelligent question.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Other questions were too challenging:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you send your missionaries to Muslim countries instead of preaching in India?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you accept Jesus as Lord?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t seem to give many teachings about health. Why is that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada could see the motive behind questions, but he always entered the breach to give the Vaisnava conclusion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes questions were too personal. \u201cAre you happy?\u201d Prabhupada replied, \u201cIf I told you \u2018yes\u2019, would you believe me?\u201d Prabhupada was expert at not getting trapped by questions and being able to turn them around to put the question back on the person who asked it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was especially exposed to challenges, and both sincere and insincere questions in public lectures. Over the years he had heard practically everything there was to hear. It wasn\u2019t possible to shock him. Prabhupada was responsive to intelligent, sincere questions. Like Sukadeva Gosvami who became more enthusiastic to speak due to the intelligent questions of Maharaj Pariksit, so Prabhupada appreciated solid inquiries. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One time someone asked him, \u201cIn Nectar of Devotion<\/i> it says you shouldn\u2019t wear red clothes before the deities. Why is that?\u201d Prabhupada said in his reply, \u201cThere\u2019s a reason why you shouldn\u2019t wear red, but if I reply to your question by saying you shouldn\u2019t wear red because it says so in the scriptures, is that all right?\u201d Prabhupada always gave the most substantial reply according to time, place and person. Prabhupada was instructing us not just by answering our questions, but by demonstrating by his own responses what was important information for us to know. He taught us that the important inquiries were based on service and surrender. In this way, he taught us that our sometimes flimsy questions were missing the point and he uncovered for us our very elementary grasp of Krishna conscious philosophy. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 18, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada-katha<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

How can you tell a story about Srila Prabhupada if you weren\u2019t actually there to witness it? The obvious answer is that you can repeat what you have heard from biographies, memoirs, or from devotees who were actually with Srila Prabhupada. Although the direct witness has advantages in storytelling, the re-teller can make up for that by his enthusiasm. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Telling any story is a delicate operation. We have to have faith in the story we are telling and enter into it. And it must be accurate. Sometimes we hear a devotee retell a story like this: \u201cOne time, Prabhupada said to Gurudasa, \u2018You say you want to be at my lotus feet, but my lotus feet are always moving.\u2019 When Prabhupada said that, he pushed Gurudasa away with his lotus feet.\u201d The difficulty with that last story is that no one who was actually present for this episode said that Prabhupada actually pushed Gurudasa with his feet. In this way, stories sometimes get blown into tall tales. They may become very different from what actually happened. Therefore, it is good to be enthusiastic when telling Prabhupada stories, but we should never exaggerate or make up details. Our enthusiasm may capture the ears of some, and may even impress some people, but if the story has some untrue elements then people will have a false impression. The story has to be authentic and the storyteller has to be honest.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If you were never with Prabhupada you can openly say, \u201cI wasn\u2019t present for this story, but I heard it and it impressed me.\u201d Admitting that you weren\u2019t there may be humbling. It shows that you don\u2019t appear so prominently in Prabhupada\u2019s manifest pastimes, but even that fact may add a poignancy to your story that will draw your listeners in. The fact is that most of your listeners will not have had direct contact with Prabhupada either. If you tell the story in a genuine humble way, it may be even more effective than someone who boasts slightly as he relates the story of when he was with Prabhupada. The direct witness may also mistake the facts, or exaggerate his role in the story. The honest approach is always best. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 19, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sharing Prabhupada Stories with Devotees<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although a story may not be filled with so many personal exchanges where the storyteller can \u201cdialogue\u201d between himself and Prabhupada, and he can\u2019t notice that his body was shivering and his hairs standing on end \u2013 still, the story has its own authentic sound. If it is told by someone who is serving within Prabhupada\u2019s movement, who speaks his own appreciation, and who depends on the aural tradition or recorded biographical information, then we should be confident to hear and repeat such stories. Whoever shares a story like this can make as potent a presentation as the presentation of someone who happened to be there personally. The main thing is to tell authentic stories with well-placed details and to speak your own feelings from your actual position. Basically, telling stories of Prabhupada means expressing our appreciation and helping to improve Prabhupada meditation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Can you think of a Prabhupada story that you have read or heard from someone who was there? Imagine how you could retell this story if you had an interested listener. Then, the next time you are with someone who is interested in Srila Prabhupada, try sharing this story. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 20, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Purity is the Force<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was the symbol of self-sacrifice. He was not overbearing, just pure. He had no desire to win respect for himself, he simply wanted people to recognize the supremacy of Krishna. This came out especially in Prabhupada\u2019s writing. Walt Whitman said that everything one is will come out in one\u2019s writing. If you are the kind of person who likes to have a servant stand behind you at the dinner table, that will come out in your writing. If you are cruel to your wife, that will come out in your writing. Even if you try to avoid those topics in your writing, still they find their way into your expressions. In Prabhupada\u2019s case, we see every phrase saturated with his faithful desire to present Krishna\u2019s message. His writing is not outstanding because he was a great Sanskrit scholar, or because he used polished prose. These things are also true, but his outstanding feature is his presentation of Krishna as He is. This is very unusual for commentators of Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. Most Gita<\/i> commentators cannot resist using the Gita<\/i> to propound their own philosophy. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 21, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Be a Servant, Not a Dilettante<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I cannot simply \u201cstudy\u201d Prabhupada as a scientist studies a specimen under a microscope. There were many photographs of Prabhupada in the early days representing many posed and candid moments. Still, I cannot understand the mind of my spiritual master. I can study his words and teachings, but even that has to be done with faithful hearing and service. I am not a literary critic or a lawyer who can endlessly dissect his instructions, looking for … what<\/i>? Loopholes? That would be over-intelligent, and it is an offense.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have my service in his movement like everyone else, but regardless of whether my service differs from yours, we are all students at the feet of the guru. I don\u2019t want to become like a jaded sense-gratifier, always needing more and more stimulation to get the same \u201chigh.\u201d Prabhupada is enthusing me. I collect his memories and photographs to remind myself of that. To stay alive in Prabhupada memories, while remaining free of dilettantism, is to know that he has a current connection with us. Don\u2019t relegate Prabhupada to the museum in your mind and think that you are the antiquarian collector of rare books and artifacts. Prabhupada is out preaching. I want to serve those devotees who have that \u201cface-to-face with-Prabhupada\u201d realization. I am poor in Prabhupada consciousness. Am I trying to compensate for that by collecting Prabhupada memorabilia? It\u2019s okay, it works. But let me take the dust on my head of devotees who are alive for Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 22, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Qualities<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The main impression people got when they met Prabhupada, especially in a private darsana<\/i>, was his strength of purpose in his dedication to serve Krishna. His demeanor, however, always impressed others as being gentle and sweet. He didn\u2019t use coarse expressions, and his physical movements were graceful and reserved. He was a gentleman. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But despite that demeanor, Prabhupada wanted to create a revolution. When he went to Pennsylvania upon first arriving in America, they thought he had only come to sell some books and would go back to India in a few months. Prabhupada would surrender to Krishna\u2019s will. If that was all Krishna allowed him to do, he would accept that, but he was certainly ambitious to do much more. He wanted to create a revolution in the consciousness of the entire world. He was prepared to work at it, even though he was in advanced old age. Books were the basis, but books by themselves couldn\u2019t do it. There had to be people to practice the teachings of the books, people to distribute the books to others. And there had to be money to accomplish these things. Prabhupada pushed hard to get all these things done. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was especially uncompromising in his condemnation of materialistic activities. He used strong language to describe people who are devoid of the inclination for spiritual life, calling them dogs, hogs, camels and asses. He also referred to them as rascals. He called the leaders of the countries cheaters. He said they were all going to hell for their impious activities. By any standard, this was harsh criticism.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He also protested against the government. He did it in a non-sectarian way, favoring neither the Communists nor the Capitalists. According to the scriptures, he said, \u201cAny political leader in this age is bound to be the lowest kind of man.\u201d In a sense, he protested against the material bonds that held families together.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The devotee is described in sastra<\/i> as one who doesn\u2019t have enemies and who doesn\u2019t cause agitation for others. Prabhupada was not a troublemaker. He simply wanted to give people the key to their own happiness, but because of their inimical attitude towards renunciation and devotion to God, there was trouble. Despite everything, Prabhupada continued distributing books and propagating the Holy Name.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In personal meetings, Prabhupada actually got very little reaction to his strong words. It was hard to be upset with Prabhupada. He was so pure that anyone who met him immediately felt disarmed by him. No one insulted him back, even if they thought they had been insulted by Prabhupada. He always explained the philosophical basis of his words and actions and everyone was satisfied, if not convinced.<\/p>\n

November 23, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Memories of Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we remember Prabhupada as he was in the past, we go back to a previous existence. By definition, a memory is a reminiscence. It is a little unreal. One journeys back through time, visits with Prabhupada, then returns to the present.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Memories of Prabhupada are nectar. Without them, there would be no substance to Prabhupada consciousness. If there were no memories of Prabhupada, then he would become only a legend. For example, although I don\u2019t have any direct experience of Lord Caitanya\u2019s appearance in the world, many persons who were with Lord Caitanya recorded His pastimes in diaries and books. Therefore, I can know who He actually was. Similarly, the followers of Prabhupada write memoirs and encourage Prabhupada\u2019s disciples to compile their accounts before they pass away, so that everyone now and in the future can know what it was like to be with Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But there is a lot more to Prabhupada consciousness than memories of him. We may enter that \u201cunreal\u201d world of the past, but eventually, we must return to the present and surrender now. By meditating on the memories and practicing internal, minute-to-minute surrender, we will be Prabhupada conscious. This internal cultivation is very important. Prabhupada recall doesn\u2019t mean only remembering what he did in the past, it means recalling our need to serve him now. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It\u2019s exciting that there are so many facets to recalling Srila Prabhupada. It is not a matter of thinning out or extracting the same memories again and again until they get so thinned and refined that it\u2019s not really Prabhupada any more. That can become a kind of mayavada<\/i> meditation. No, Prabhupada consciousness is personal. It has to do with very basic things, like reading his books on a daily basis and understanding when we chant Hare Krishna that Prabhupada gave us the maha mantra<\/i>. It also means referring to him in a basic way as our teacher \u2013 our beloved teacher who compassionately instructs us in Krishna consciousness. Prabhupada is with us at all times through his vani<\/i>. He shapes our lives to fulfill his purpose. Also included in this many faceted way of meditating on Prabhupada is the nectarean activity of recalling what he did when he was here. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 24, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Lifetime in Preparation<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After a full day\u2019s work the non devotee watches tv or goes to the movies; other non devotees get their entertainment through books, or by doing any of these things in conjunction with intoxication. Devotees, on the other hand, use their leisure time for Krishna<\/i>–katha<\/i>. Like-minded friends in Krishna consciousness can read Krishna Book<\/i> together, or spend an hour with the Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A good place to start when we choose to read about Prabhupada is the first volume, A Lifetime in Preparation<\/i>. Usually when we think of Prabhupada, we conjure up images of Prabhupada in America, either as a lone preacher struggling alone in New York, or as the grand founder-acarya<\/i> of ISKCON. But when we read the first volume of the biography, we glimpse Prabhupada\u2019s life in India, before we met him, before he came to preach.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even when Prabhupada was a young businessman travelling around India, he was still our Prabhupada. He said about himself, \u201cI don\u2019t remember a time when I ever forgot Krishna.\u201d Krishna was waiting to fulfill the preaching mission through Prabhupada, and Prabhupada was preparing himself …<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes Prabhupada would present himself humbly, saying he wasted most of his life, even after meeting his spiritual master. \u201cBut better late than never,\u201d Prabhupada said, \u201cI wasted so much time, I realize that now.\u201d These are statements of humility. But Prabhupada also said, \u201cActually, I was preparing myself. I was looking for the opportunity.\u201d When Prabhupada was in householder life, he had to do business. He felt duty- bound to provide for his family. Neither was there any opportunity to preach in the West, as Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur had encouraged him to do. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As it is relishable to think of all the little things Prabhupada did in the 1960\u2019s and 70\u2019s, so we can relish his activities before we even met him. In a sense, his earlier life is obscured from our view. There is a special taste in hearing about the life of a famous person, an artist or writer, when they were still preparing themselves for the greatness that would follow. We can empathize with his or her struggle as they move in the world, unappreciated. The years when Prabhupada was travelling around India in the third-class compartments of trains, maintaining his household, faithfully keeping the Vaisnava principles which his father had taught him, thinking about his spiritual master as \u201csuch a nice saintly person\u201d \u2013 these are precious meditations for us. Prabhupada was so patient and dutiful. Our spiritual master was such a nice saintly person.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Prabhupada came to us in his seventieth year, he already had spent a lifetime preparing himself, not only by preaching, but by practicing self-discipline and the many other qualities of an advanced spiritualist. Prabhupada encouraged us simply to add the chanting of Hare Krishna to our lives and our anarthas<\/i> would fall away. But our anarthas<\/i> remain. Even after many years of practice, we are still trying to throw them off. In Prabhupada\u2019s case, nothing of his earlier life was extraneous or had to be thrown off. Everything was useful in his preaching \u2013 his business sense, his ability to size up a worldly situation, his courage in living in New York City, his fearlessness in the face of crime, noise and dirt. He was able to maintain his integrity and go about his pure purpose, even while living in Manhattan. He was trained up by his years in India, and strengthened by all the renunciation and austerity he had to perform just by living there and trying to preach Krishna consciousness. One may ask, \u201cIf Prabhupada\u2019s early years are so important, why don\u2019t you talk about them more in your meditations on Prabhupada?\u201d One reason is that we don\u2019t have much direct information; we only have what Prabhupada directly told us. Also, it is improper to investigate the previous life of the spiritual master. Prabhupada\u2019s earlier life was liberated \u2013 he did not become a pure devotee after coming to the West \u2013 but still, family and business activities are not the essence of a spiritual master\u2019s mission, and are, therefore, not meditated upon by his disciples. It is correct for us to emphasize Prabhupada\u2019s role in our lives as Bhaktivedanta Swami, to remember him as we knew him, but his lifetime in preparation has a special sweetness to it that can be found by reading A Lifetime in Preparation<\/i> and discussing it with friends. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 25, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Swamiji Went Out<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was unusual for Prabhupada to be anywhere but at Dr. Mishra\u2019s studio. Prabhupada did a little shopping, but he rarely went out on any other kind of outings. Mostly he went out for walks. Occasionally, he went to the bookstores to see how his books were selling. He did not have a car in the early days, so he took the subway or the bus. When he went out, he didn\u2019t take on the appearance of an ordinary person in his old, checkered suburban coat. For one thing, he always wore his dhoti<\/i>. He was elderly and Indian, but these were all external. He burned with an inner flame that was visible, even as he sat in the subway. He was always intensely focused on Krishna. His eyes were different than other people\u2019s eyes; they shone with inner vision. He was always a pure devotee of Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Swamiji went out, he was not so relaxed. He was grave, conserving his energy. He showed no signs of nervousness or fear, or even uncertainty in the unfamiliar city. Still, he was keenly aware that this was the material world. It was so jarring to sit on the subway or bus seat, look up and see a half-naked woman on a poster or sitting across the aisle jiggling her leg … Through it all, Prabhupada was there, absorbed in his own Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 26, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Otherworldly<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was definitely otherworldly. He wrote and taught that this material world is temporary and unhappy, and that real life is in another world, the spiritual world. Prabhupada taught this because it is Krishna\u2019s message in Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. And yet, \u201cotherworldly\u201d is not exactly appropriate when describing Prabhupada. Some picture otherworldly as someone who is always gazing heavenward while they wander around this world in a trance. Otherworldly people don\u2019t relate to other people, to earthbound beings, because they are so ethereal. An otherworldly person is often like an absent-minded professor. This is not a description of Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said he was a Calcutta man. He used his practical intelligence on planning ISKCON. When he met with non devotees, he was present with them; he was able to examine their mentalities and attack their mistake in logic or atheism in a very direct way. Therefore, we can appreciate these two aspects about Prabhupada: That his philosophy and teachings were very much otherworldly, pointing to eternal life and the soul, and stressing the unimportance of this spot life on earth; and that his preaching intelligence made him seem very much part of this world \u2013 very much present in it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Trying to inject any otherworldly philosophy into present Kali-yuga America is a near impossible task. Prabhupada was successful at establishing Vaisnavism because of his practical preaching message. For example, he preached to convince materialistic scientists of the otherworldly proposition of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>: There is a soul (although the materialists cannot perceive it) and there is God (although materialists cannot perceive Him). He not only tries to prove these points by quoting sastra<\/i>, but also attacks the very roots of scientific theory and then shows those theories in the light of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s preaching was practical in other ways. He taught varnasrama<\/i>, farm development, education and so on. He was interested in the relief of world suffering, although he knew that the only relief would come from \u201cotherworldly\u201d Krishna consciousness. Prabhupada was always after the ultimate interest of the soul. He was compassionate, but he knew there is no possibility of happiness in the material world. In this, he was very practical.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Another example of Prabhupada\u2019s mix of worldliness and otherworldliness is his emphasis on book distribution. Prabhupada was not content to write his books on a palm leaf and just let them sit. He used book printing technology, although he said he was simply \u201cblindly\u201d following the order and example of his spiritual master. It took both spiritual acumen to write the books and down-to-earth practicality to transfer the spiritual message into type and then bind it. The book distribution was not a worldly activity, it required practical intelligence and hard work to accomplish.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The difference between Srila Prabhupada and ourselves (there is a huge difference) is that we belong to this world and he was in another world. He always had Krishna on his mind. He could withdraw into himself and become so grave that he wouldn\u2019t be present with us any more. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada reserved the right to meditate internally on Krishna. He wasn\u2019t thinking what we were thinking. He didn\u2019t always laugh when everyone else laughed, because he didn\u2019t have the same passing sensory attitudes that other people did. He was not of this world. We could perceive that by the way he looked and by the way he always thought of Krishna and not of material things. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Therefore, he would sometimes demand that we be more in touch with the world. Keep our feet on the ground. Take our heads out of the clouds. Do things nicely for Krishna. But other times we were aware that we were stuck in our bodies while his consciousness was in Goloka, a place we could only imagine, which for us was theoretical but was real to Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 27, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Who Are You?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We didn\u2019t know where Swamiji came from. He was asked, \u201cWhere did you come from? Who sent you?\u201d Bit by bit, he told of his Guru Maharaj and the tradition he represented. Nowadays we speak with confidence about Prabhupada\u2019s background and his intentions to spread Lord Caitanya\u2019s sankirtana<\/i> movement. But in the earliest days, no one knew anything about these things. We only knew Swamiji. First came Swamiji; everything else came later. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He just started singing; he explained later. You walked into the park and saw the Indian swami singing, then you waited because he would explain everything later. That was his preaching spirit, his greatness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Vaisnavas who live in India may take their enormous cultural facility for granted. Their culture accepts Hinduism, being Indian, following the Vedas<\/i>, the Gods, sadhus<\/i>. To be a Vaisnava in India is similar to being a Catholic priest in the West. Of course, even in India sadhus<\/i> have difficulties \u2013 people are materialistic and confused \u2013 but still, the facility is there. No one finds it strange to see someone in saffron singing mantras. Prabhupada had a different experience in New York City. He endured so much. He has to be given credit for his preaching spirit. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Of course, in the early days, we had no way of knowing that Prabhupada had crossed the cultural barrier by coming to America to preach. We just saw him. He was inviting us to participate in Krishna consciousness. Some took him seriously. It didn\u2019t occur to us that he had come out of hundreds of thousands of Vaisnavas to fulfill the prediction of Lord Caitanya. We didn\u2019t worry about a philosophy. We cared about Prabhupada. Philosophy was something we got from him. It came from him. He was our only supply. He had the book, the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. It was hard for us to penetrate, impossible actually, without him. We knew that much even then.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 28, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

TAGORE SOCIETY OF NEW YORK Inc.
\nCORDIALLY INVITES YOU
\nto a lecture:
\n“GOD CONSCIOUSNESS”
\nby A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami<\/p>\n

\nDate: Sunday, November 28, 1965
\nTime: Lecture, 3:30 P.M. Tea, 4:30 P.M.
\nPlace: New India House, 3 East 64th Street
\nA widely respected scholar and religious leader in India,
\nSwami Bhaktivedanta is briefly visiting New York. He
\nhas been engaged in a monumental endeavor of
\ntranslating the sixty-volume \u015ar\u012bmad Bhagwatam from
\nSanskrit into English.<\/i><\/p>\n

November 28<\/p>\n

Daoud Haroon had never met \u015ar\u012bla Prabhup\u0101da. He was a musician living downtown, and he used to attend the meetings of the Tagore Society up on Sixty-fourth Street.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Daoud Haroon: I went uptown and walked into the auditorium, and I noticed that the stage was empty and a few people were sitting toward the rear of the auditorium. I walked forward down the center aisle, because I usually like to sit up front. Then I saw an old gentleman sitting over to the right, and he sort of drew me over to him. So I went over and sat beside him, and then I noticed that he was saying his beads. Even though he had his beads in a bag, I could hear them, and I could see his body moving. And I felt very comfortable, because this was something I was used to. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As I was sitting there looking around the auditorium, he just turned around and smiled at me very nicely. He nodded his head, and I nodded my head, and he smiled and turned around. Then he turned back to me again and softly asked me if I was from India. I said, “No, sir, I’m not from India. I am from here, the United States.” He turned back, and he kept chanting with his beads. Then he turned around the next time and asked if I was a Hindu. I said, “No, sir, I’m not a Hindu. I’m a Muslim.” And he said, “Oh, very good, very good. Yes, many times I hear the children in India reciting the Koran.” And then he turned back around and his body was moving, rocking, and he was working with his beads. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Then there were a few more exchanges of pleasantries, sort of intermittent. And then a lady came up on the stage and announced that the lecture was to begin and if the folks could give the speaker a round of applause they would welcome him to the stage. At that point, the man I was sitting next to put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Excuse me, sir, could you do me a favor?” And I said, “Yes, anything.” He said, “Would you watch over my books?” I looked down on the floor, and he had several boxes of books and an umbrella and several other articles. I said yes I would watch over these. And he said, “Excuse me.” He walked up the aisle, and surprisingly, he walked up on the stage. And it was the man I had come to hear \u2013 Swami Bhaktivedanta!<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He walked up on the stage and introduced himself to the people and tried to get them to come forward. He said, “Come forward, come forward.” A few of them came up to the front. There were mixed couples, many Indians, male and female, mostly middle-aged and some college aged, a lot of professor-types and ladies were there.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Then he began his speech. He dove right into it. He just started exclaiming, proclaiming, the greatness of the Creator and that the most important thing is to remember the Creator and remember God. He began to expand on God consciousness, what God consciousness is and how God is everywhere and how it behooves us all to remember God \u2013 no matter what we call Him, what names we call Him by, but that we should call Him. He gave a demonstration which was very moving. He chanted Hare K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a, Hare R\u0101ma and spoke about the power and saving grace in the mantra. He took a little break about halfway through and had some water.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The last thing he said as he was coming down from the podium was that he had copies of the \u015ar\u012bmad-Bh\u0101gavatam. He explained that he had been working on them and that they came in three volumes and were sixteen dollars. Then he concluded and came down.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A lot of people went over to him. Some were timid, some were enthusiastic. Some people shook his hand and were asking for books. At first there were about fifteen people gathered around him talking to him and asking questions. With so many people around, he came over to me and said, “Sir, would you do me one more favor? Will you kindly take over the selling of the books? People will be coming to you for the books, so you sell the books and put the money in this little box, and I will be with you in a minute.” I said, “Fine.”<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So while he talked to the people, others came up to me. They must have thought I was somehow his secretary or his traveling companion, and people were coming over to me and asking me personal questions about him, which I couldn’t really answer because I didn’t know. Some people were buying the books or looking through them. So this went on, and I was trying to listen to him carry on his conversations with people and carry on the book-selling at the same time.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some of the people were looking for a guru and trying to find out what he was supposed to be. Some of them were really interrogating him. But he just smiled and answered all their questions simply. I remember he told them, “You will know. There’s no pressure. You will know if I am your guru.” He suggested that people go over and read the books.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And then the group dwindled down to about half a dozen, and the few remaining were just looking at him, and some were too timid to approach him. He walked over to them and spoke to them, putting them at ease. Later he came over, and we counted the collection, and I helped him pack up his box and carry downstairs the boxes of books that were left. As we parted he thanked me very much, and I gave him my name and address and phone number and purchased a set of the \u015ar\u012bmad-Bh\u0101gavatams.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 29, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna\u2019s Books, Written by Srila Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada knew the value of his own books. He said they were spoken by Krishna, not by himself. If someone reads one page, his life could become perfect. Prabhupada also said that history would prove that his books had saved the world from barbarism. Without receiving the message of Krishna, people are degraded to less than animals \u2013 eating, mating, sleeping and defending. Prabhupada\u2019s books make the difference. Prabhupada understood by personal experience that his books were needed. Although he knew that the Bhagavatam<\/i> described humanity devoid of Krishna consciousness as a species of \u201ctwo-legged animals,\u201d Prabhupada had personal experience with this. He saw the neon signs for topless and bottomless dancing. He would see the cover of Time<\/i> magazine: \u201cCrime. Why and what to do?\u201d He personally saw the degraded students and hippies living in the parks, so fallen that they wouldn\u2019t even respectfully listen to Prabhupada when he began to speak in public. He rode in cars and saw the traffic jams on the highways. All these experiences impelled him more and more to give Krishna\u2019s message to the people. He was convinced it would uplift them. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was ambitious to help the world in a substantial way, but he recognized that it could only begin with the implementation of God-conscious education. Prabhupada\u2019s books were not his invention \u2013 there was nothing whimsical about them. It was Krishna speaking according to time and place through Prabhupada\u2019s words. Prabhupada\u2019s non-egotistical attitude as an author is expressed in the Nectar of Devotion<\/i>:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThe author of Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu<\/i>, Srila Rupa Gosvami, very humbly submits that he is just trying to spread Krishna consciousness all over the world, although he humbly thinks himself unfit for this work. That should be the attitude of all preachers of the Krishna consciousness movement …\u201d <\/p>\n

(Nectar of Devotion, <\/i>Introduction, page xviii)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although the books were actually spoken by Krishna, Prabhupada\u2019s followers definitely saw them as Prabhupada\u2019s books. We like to see him reading his books. We saw that it gave our spiritual master tremendous satisfaction. He said that he felt that he had conquered an empire whenever a book was published. Prabhupada ushered his followers into the consciousness of living for his books, of loving his books. We will never be able to forget him because we have his books. As long as we have his books, we will be close to Prabhupada. Just looking at the books layout \u2013 the bold face print, the Sanskrit, the synonyms and then the purports \u2013 will bring us close to Prabhupada. Because Prabhupada personally oversaw all the details of his book production, we can appreciate how they were done according to his own vision.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is a spiritual act to hear one of Prabhupada\u2019s purports read, or to speak on them in an ISKCON temple. The same effect can be achieved by any person sitting in his home and opening the book, reading it respectfully with eager attention. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada liked to read his own books. They amazed him because they were written by Krishna. When he revealed his feelings about his own books to us, we were always astonished. It was another aspect of Prabhupada\u2019s relationship with Krishna and we were being invited to witness it. <\/p>\n

November 30, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Son of a Pure Devotee<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

God consciousness is the goal of human life. If a person is born of a mother or father who can give the child love, as well as a God-conscious education, then he or she is very blessed. According to Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, if one is born into a family of transcendentalists, that is the result of good karma.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is certainly very fortunate to take birth in such families. Fortunately, both our spiritual master, Om Visnupada Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami Maharaja, and our humble self had the opportunity to take birth in such families, by the grace of the Lord, and both of us were trained in the devotional service of the Lord from the very beginning of our lives. Later on, we met by the order of the transcendental system.\u201d (Bhagavad-gita<\/i> 6.42 Purport)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In gratitude to the father who raised him, Srila Prabhupada dedicated the Krishna Book<\/i> to his father, Gour Mohan De. Prabhupada described him as, \u201cA pure devotee who raised me as a Krishna conscious child from the beginning of my life. In my boyhood ages, he instructed me how to play the mrdanga. He gave me Radha-Krishna Vigraha to worship, and he gave me Jagannatha-Ratha to duly observe the festival as my childhood play. He was kind to me, and I imbibed from him the ideas later on solidified by my spiritual master, the eternal father.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even one who has a pure devotee as a father still must approach a spiritual master for initiation. It is not true that only someone who has an unhappy relationship with his material father seeks out God or guru. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

December 1, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Question of Surrender<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada taught of the importance of the spiritual master. No one can understand Krishna except through the spiritual master. However, he never said, \u201cI am that pure devotee. I am the spiritual master.\u201d If somebody asked him bluntly, he replied, \u201cThat you can judge for yourself.\u201d Yet he preached that we must surrender to the spiritual master. When some met Prabhupada, they resisted, suspecting that he was just an exchange of material false egos. They thought, \u201cOh, he\u2019s trying to sell himself as the guru. He wants me to submit to him,\u201d so they resisted. However, some who wanted a guru did not resist and accepted him. We wanted a loving exchange with Krishna. \u201cWhy are they after me?\u201d Prabhupada asked later, \u201cI am just an Indian, I have no money. I never bribed them.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is this chanting? Is it some mumbo-jumbo? Is it hypnotism?\u201d Prabhupada accepted a question like that because at least it was moving in the direction of an enquiry about God. \u201cAs far as I am concerned, there is no next life. The scientists have proven it.\u201d That would be acceptable for Swamiji because it led to important subjects. As long as they were willing to hear, he would talk. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 2, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Listening to Prabhupada Sing Alone in His Room, 1965<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Up in his room alone in New York City, he is singing, \u201cKrishna kirtana …<\/i><\/p>\n

vande r\u016bpa-san\u0101tanau raghu-yugau \u015br\u012b-j\u012bva-gop\u0101lakau<\/i>.\u201d He is calling to them. We did not understand of whom he was singing. To us it was simply, \u201cSwamiji is singing.\u201d And \u201cKrishna.\u201d That was the vision, simply to know his mood, to hear his karatals. He was crying to the Lord. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Why did he record those songs? He may not have known at the time what he would do with the tapes. He may not have known how his solitude in New York City would later become a legend. \u201c… gad\u0101dhara<\/i><\/strong>\u015br\u012bv\u0101s\u0101di-gaura-bhakta-v\u1e5bnda<\/i>.\u201d <\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, you had so little money: Camping in an office lent by a yogi; barely having enough for eatables to pay the high prices, to survive the Manhattan cold \u2013 but you are not afraid.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u015ar\u012b-k\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a-caitanya-prabhu … patita-p\u0101vana-hetu<\/i>. Dr. Mishra allowed you to stay, but no lectures. Someone knocked on your door bringing brown rice from the macrobiotic restaurant and inviting you downtown. I recall the story tonight and your singing from 1965, h\u0101<\/i><\/strong>h\u0101<\/i><\/strong>prabhu<\/i><\/strong>nity\u0101nanda<\/i>. <\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We want to follow you, Srila Prabhupada, although we fight so much. We pray to receive you in the standard ways. Please deliver us from the wrongs of ordinary life in which we tend to get stuck. Please deliver us from forgetfulness of you, forgetfulness of your mission.<\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 3, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mysterious, Yet Familiar<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is mysterious and we cannot fully understand him. We know him the way an affectionate child knows his father. We think, \u201cThis was my father\u2019s cup and these were his shoes. This is what he says.\u201d We know him in a familiar way, yet we also know that he is inconceivable. We should never minimize the strength that we get by thinking of ourselves as followers of that person, Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If I study a God consciousness or Vaisnava philosophy with someone who does not have a tight connection with guru \u2013 or if I myself do not feel my connection to Srila Prabhupada \u2013 then spiritual life becomes vague. There is a hollow feeling. Someone may talk of \u201cexperience of God,\u201d but you want to ask him, \u201cDo you know what you are talking about? Do you have experience of this?\u201d No matter what he may say, he cannot convince or touch me the way Prabhupada did. That which is most solid for me in Krishna consciousness is based on my relationship with Prabhupada. It comes to this: God is known by our relationship to the guru. If all you know is guru, you are doing all right. Vaisnava philosophy does not approve of strong aspirations for connection with God, while maintaining weak connections to guru. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 4, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Idioms<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The dictionary defines an idiom as \u201ca style or form of expression that is characteristic of an individual.\u201d One has to know how Prabhupada used idioms by listening to his lectures, or by being present for his talks. Each of these phrases can open up a whole world of Prabhupada realization.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything is there.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said this to indicate that everything we need to know is present in the Vedic literature. He said it to convey urgency. By the chanting of Hare Krishna, you can directly contact Krishna. By reading Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, you can know your relationship with Krishna. Prabhupada enumerated points such as these, and then, as if realizing there was no end to the favorable items, he would interject, \u201cEverything is there.\u201d He said it with pride as a follower of Krishna consciousness, and with confidence that there was nothing lacking in Bhagavad-gita.<\/i> Everything is there, so you should turn to it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you very much.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This was Prabhupada\u2019s trademark at the end of every lecture. One might say that this is nothing more than formality: The speaker thanks the audience for their attentive hearing. Because Prabhupada did it, however, it is a trademark to remind us of him. We wonder about it. Sometimes we even imagine that Prabhupada was being a touch sarcastic when he said, \u201cthank you very much.\u201d With some audiences, it sounded like he was amused. Perhaps I am reading the mind of the acarya<\/i> by these interpretations, each person will hear it in his own way. At least, let us keep his \u201cthank you very much\u201d in our collection of remembrances.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is going on.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada used this to express the opposite mood of \u201ceverything is there.\u201d By saying \u201cthis is going on,\u201d he pointed to the rascaldom and nonsense that goes on in the material world, especially in Kali-yuga. He stated it at the end of a string of anomalies. The politicians are cheating the people by taxing and not giving anything in return; people in general are in ignorance about the goal of life; gurus claim they are God but are interested in illicit sex … After stating a list of malpractices, Prabhupada added, \u201cThis is going on. They are getting away with murder. The cheating continues. Rascal goes on by misuse of free will. The sadhu<\/i> and Krishna know very well that this is happening. They are not naive. Prabhupada also was aware that rascaldom will continue as long as there is a material world, as long as people do not take to Krishna consciousness. Acts of irreligion pass in the guise of religion. \u201cThis is going on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is the difficulty?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said this after explaining how easy and accessible Krishna consciousness is. Anyone can offer Krishna a fruit, a flower, or some water. Even a child can take part in the chanting \u2013 \u201cWhere is the difficulty?\u201d Just as we were born from our father, so our father had a father, and his father had a father; if you go back ultimately, you will find there is an original father who is the source of everyone. In this way we can understand that Krishna is the seed-giving father \u2013 where is the difficulty to understand this? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By this expression, Prabhupada encouraged us to come forward and not make excuses. If we take to Krsna consciousness, we will not find it difficult. Prabhupada used the phase as a challenge to those who believe that spiritual life is too problematic. Prabhupada untangled the problems with logic and sastra<\/i>, and then interjected this challenge.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 5, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada on Immortality<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada spoke of immortality. He said people do not know how to become immortal, and this is the greatest blindness in Western civilization. They think they can attain lasting goals within the temporary material world, but that is impossible.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said it was the mission of Lord Caitanya and Lord Krishna to teach immortality. If we can know why Krishna comes into the world, as taught by Lord Caitanya, we will become immortal (janma<\/i><\/strong>karma<\/i><\/strong> ca me <\/i>divyam<\/i>).<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Immortality is inconceivable to us. It is not a topic that we have already mastered. It is the basis of everything. Although we may grasp it academically, what do we know of eternality? Who is thoroughly convinced that he is spirit soul? How nourishing it was, therefore, to hear this from Srila Prabhupada. <\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 6, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Thank You for Educating Us in God Consciousness<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I hear people make mistakes while speaking about God, I try not to be puffed up. Just because we have received the best God conscious education from Srila Prabhupada, does not mean we should look down on others. Students at Harvard University or Oxford University may be better educated, but they spoil their treasure if they look down upon common people. Similarly, we do not want to be a snob in God consciousness, but appreciate what Srila Prabhupada has taught us. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I feel humbled sometimes when I see someone else\u2019s faith in God. I also meet people who have more love for God than I do, even though they may not have received such a thorough education. I will never stop being grateful to Prabhupada, however, for giving me this education. In that sense, I am proud. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the modern age, people are proud of their college degrees, but this is also an age of increase in atheistic propaganda. Therefore, unless we get a good education in God consciousness, we are liable to be misdirected by education. Godless education is worse than being illiterate. It is like a poisonous snake with a jewel on its head.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji blasted the ignorance of puffed up people. He said, \u201cYou do not know anything. The whole world does not know anything. No one knows God. You think that the self is the body. You think that this life is for amassing money for sense gratification. This is all ignorance, all illusion.\u201d Prabhupada said that love with the family and the noble attempts to help people by altruism are both illusion; they will all be destroyed. <\/p>\n

December 7, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

New York<\/i> Times<\/i> Headlines: \u201cNew York City Hospitals Report Marked Rise in LSD Cases Admitted for Care.\u201d \u201cProtest Against U.S. Participation in Vietnam War Mounts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The weather grew cold, but there was no snow in December. On Columbus Avenue shops were selling Christmas trees, and the continental restaurants were bright with holiday lighting. On Seventy-second the Retailers\u2019 Association erected tall red poles topped with green tinsel Christmas trees. The tops of the trees on both sides of the street sprouted tinsel garlands that spanned the street and joined in red tinsel stars surrounded by colored lights. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although Srila Prabhupada did no Christmas shopping, he visited many bookstores \u2013 Orientalia, Sam Weiser\u2019s, Doubleday, the Paragon, and others \u2013 trying to sell his Srimad-Bhagavatams<\/i>. Mrs. Ferber, the wife of the Paragon Book Gallery proprietor, considered Prabhupada \u201ca pleasant and extremely polite small gentleman.\u201d The first time he called she wasn\u2019t interested in his books, but he tried again, and she took several volumes. Prabhupada used to stop by about once a week, and since his books were selling regularly, he would collect. Sometimes when he needed copies to sell personally, he would come by and pick them up from Mrs. Ferber, and sometimes he would phone to ask her how his books were selling.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mrs. Ferber: Every time he came he would ask for a glass of water. If a customer would make such a request, I would ordinarily say, \u201cThere is the water cooler.\u201d But because he was an old man, I couldn\u2019t tell him that, of course. He was very polite, always, very modest, and a great scholar. So whenever he would ask, I would fetch him a cup of water personally.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Once Prabhupada was talking with Mrs. Ferber about Indian cuisine and she mentioned that she especially like samosas<\/i>. The next time he paid her a visit, he brought her a tray of samosas<\/i>, which she enjoyed.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 8, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey Cohen came to room 501 to visit the Swami who had impressed him at Ananda Ashram.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey: The room he occupied was a tiny office in the back of the Yoga Society in uptown Manhattan. I began to go there regularly, and we sat facing each other on the floor in this little office with his typewriter and a new tape recorder on top of two suitcases. And there was a box of books he had brought from India and a color reproduction of dancing figures which he looked at often. I told Swami Bhaktivedanta that I was an artist, and he asked me to please paint the picture of the dancers, which he explained was of Lord Caitanya and His disciples. The painting was called \u201cSankirtana.\u201d Whenever I came to visit him, Swami would always be happy to see me. I told him about myself, and we chanted Hare Krishna together in his room many nights that winter. I would get the train uptown from my apartment to go see him. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 9, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

True Education<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Anyone who studies Prabhupada\u2019s books becomes educated in the most important subject. Whenever a follower of Prabhupada hears a discussion of God-consciousness, he spots contradictions or a \u201cpoor fund of knowledge\u201d wherever it occurs. Even a young brahmacari<\/i> can note the flaws in the presentations of learned theologians or clergymen. Theologians are puzzled as to \u201cwhy bad things happen to good people.\u201d Some of them theorize that God may be all good, but He is not all powerful. Some say that God cannot have a form, or that God exists only in human relationships \u2013 but one who knows Srila Prabhupada\u2019s teachings can see this is a poor fund of knowledge. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One of the benefits of a good education in any field is that one easily handles opposition from prejudiced or ignorant persons. Sometimes Prabhupada would be challenged, \u201cWhat is your faith?\u201d Prabhupada usually replied, \u201cIt is not faith, it is fact.\u201d He also said, \u201cYou may believe or not believe, that is a different thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let us always thank Prabhupada for giving us the best education in the most important of all subjects. It is not a sectarian religious education; it is not less important than material knowledge. Prabhupada teaches raja-vidya, <\/i>the king of education. Most of us are unqualified to receive this education, and yet we have received a full scholarship. Just as an underprivileged person feels fortunate to receive a scholarship to a top university, we are grateful that Prabhupada has accepted us into the University of Vaisnava Brahmanism. One who is trained by Prabhupada is better than a Ph.D. \u2013 yet he humbly thinks himself unadvanced. We can never know everything about Krishna; therefore, a Ph.D. in this field honestly says that he does not have deep love for Krishna. He reasons that if he had love for Krishna, how could he live in this world without Him? The accomplished student of Krishna consciousness never considers himself a master of this subject and never becomes puffed-up. He acknowledges that even simple people can receive God consciousness by the direct method of chanting the Holy Names. Prabhupada has taught us everything: he has given us the service and the practices, and he has stressed humility. This is true education. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 10, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Thank You for Being a Lover of God<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cOne should not become an official meditator. Life should be so molded that one will always have the chance to think of Krishna. One should always act in such a way that all his daily activities are in connection with Krishna. He should arrange his life in such a way that throughout the twenty-four hours, he cannot but think of Krishna.\u201d \u2013 (Bg 18.65 Purport) <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In another purport Prabhupada states, \u201cIn the advanced stage, one falls completely in love with Krishna.\u201d \u2013 (Bg 8.28)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada teaches us not to be wishy-washy, but to give everything to God, he exposes all types of maya<\/i>, including religion which is not completely surrendered to God. Anyone who wants to love God can learn from Srila Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This love is not a saccharine piety. It is doing the needful, even if it means fighting for Krishna as Hanuman and Arjuna did. The lover of God pleases Him under all circumstances. Prabhupada was an intrepid preacher, ready to face the atheists and mayavadis<\/i> who deny God. This is another aspect of the lover. We may think of a \u201clover\u201d as someone who seeks a soft situation, lying in an inner chamber to enjoy with his beloved. The lover of God, however, works on His behalf and fights on His behalf to establish the principles of religion. He goes out on behalf of the Lord, just as Ramacandra\u2019s brothers went out to conquer, and just as Prabhupada left Vrindavana to come to America. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 11, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On Obtaining Krishna-Prema<\/i><\/p>\n

Prabhupada taught love of God according to the teachings of Lord Caitanya. This means Krishna-prema<\/i>, the conjugal love of Radha and Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We have often heard the phrase \u201clove of Godhead.\u201d How far this love of Godhead can actually be developed can be learned from the Vaisnava philosophy. Theoretical knowledge of love of God can be found in many places and in many scriptures, but what that love of Godhead actually is and how it is developed can be found in Vaisnava literature. It is the unique and highest development of love of God that is given by Caitanya Mahaprabhu. \u2013 (Teachings of Lord Caitanya<\/i>, Introduction) <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By following Prabhupada, I have learned that love of God is not attained cheaply. One may claim, \u201cI love God,\u201d but it is not so easy. Prabhupada said that the beginning symptom is obedience to God\u2019s laws. Even if we follow the laws, though, we may be attached to material desires. We have to qualify before we can experience love of God. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One who attains Krishna-prema<\/i> feels happiness at every moment. He is not distracted by the upheavals of the material world. He is always hankering to be in Krishna\u2019s association. \u201cO Govinda … I am feeling the whole world as vacant without You.\u201d These feelings can only come in a genuine way when one becomes purified by service to the pure devotees of the Lord.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada has given us a realistic appraisal of the work we have to do. He assures us that we can make the necessary progress, but he does not hide the fact that we have to do a lot of cleaning within the heart. The day will come when by chanting Hare Krishna, we will experience symptoms of love of God. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Quoting Rupa Gosvami, Srila Prabhupada says that it may take many lifetimes to obtain the price of Krishna-prema<\/i>: intense desire. Prabhupada compared bhakti<\/i> to a mango. In the beginning stage it is unripe, and when perfected, it is a delicious, ripened mango. However, even in the beginning, we are students on the path of pure bhakti<\/i>. As soon as we start, we receive the rewards of the bhakti-marga<\/i> \u2013 the ability to give up illicit sex, intoxication, meat-eating and gambling. We want to thank you, Srila Prabhupada, therefore, for being a lover of God. May our \u201cthank you\u201d not be a casual remark, but a gratitude expressed of Prabhupada and made true in our lives in every way. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 12, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Perfect Theist<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is the perfect theist. He doesn\u2019t belong to the twentieth century or the twenty-first century; he is a timeless devotee-sage. The atheists are timeless too. They have been with us in one form or another since the beginning of time. They are prominent in Kali-yuga, blaspheming religion and preaching gutlessness. What passes for religion in this age is a sorry spectacle. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is the educated theist of Vedic culture, the modern parivrajakacarya-paramahamsa<\/i> who speaks like a layman in language which is inescapably blunt and clear. And he calls them rascals for not accepting the obvious hints, conclusions and analogies, and the direct statements of the Supreme Personality of Godhead in the scripture. <\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 13, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Stature<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The soft saffron on Prabhupada\u2019s body … He was not tall, nor fat, but neither do we think of him as gaunt. None of these words seem to apply. We met him in his seventieth year, yet we remember his graceful form. The movement of his fingers, hands, wrists. Never lost grace. Never slowed down or showed signs of palsy. He extended his pinky in a delicate way when putting on tilaka<\/i>, and his fingers did their \u201cdance\u201d of spontaneous mudras<\/i> while he lectured. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The rest of Prabhupada\u2019s body was also graceful. Grace is not possessed only by a youngster on a trampoline, or by a ballet dancer leaping. Prabhupada was graceful in the way he used his cane and the way he put his feet forward when he walked briskly. He was graceful in the way he turned to someone who called his name. He opened and closed books, and picked up objects from his desk in the same flowing way. <\/p>\n

December 14, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cHappy Days\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada never made a big autobiographical presentation about coming to America. Some swamis wrote books, \u201cMy Year in England\u201d or \u201cMy Year in America.\u201d Srila Prabhupada was not interested in telling about his adventures. He spent his time telling us about Krishna\u2019s adventures in the spiritual world and how Krishna brings that spiritual world into our world. He was interested in writing more and more books about Krishna\u2019s teachings and translating the Vedic literature.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada recalled his earliest days in America as \u201chappy days.\u201d One reason was because he depended entirely on Krishna. Until he came, he was not certain whether Westerners could actually become practicing devotees. Prabhupada\u2019s gradual discovery of this on behalf of Lord Caitanya produced his happiness. He was such a realistic missionary though, he did not bask in that happiness and exaggerate it with praises of his own accomplishments. He immediately took the good news that Westerners could take to Krishna consciousness and went further and further with it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada did not run back to India, but assessed the situation realistically. He thought, \u201cI am here, but how much more can I do?\u201d According to Vaisnava philosophy, everyone is a spirit soul and it\u2019s possible for everyone to become Krishna conscious. Lord Caitanya\u2019s name should be known in every town and village. In a practical way, Prabhupada was determined to do this as much as he could. He saw that it was not going to be easy. He was happy at the prospect of rescuing a few, but unhappy that so many would remain stubbornly detached from Krsna consciousness. Srila Prabhupada never lost his intelligent, cool-headed way of looking at things. He was thrilled on behalf of the parampara, <\/i>but remained grave and angry (a devotee has a right, just as Hanuman was angry) that people were in such ignorance and yet puffed up with their pretenses and excuses for not accepting Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 15, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Giver of Krishna lila<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada spent much of his time teaching basic Krishna consciousness. This was the work that Krishna wanted him to do. He introduced Krishna consciousness into the West by writing and speaking untiringly on the basis of Bhagavad-gita As It Is<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Neither was Prabhupada stingy in his discussion of Krishna\u2019s personal form and pastimes in Goloka-Vrindavan. He often interjected Krishna lila<\/i> into a basic lecture, and in a way that showed his direct realization. Sometimes Prabhupada said that the real feature of Krishna is in the village life of Vrindavan. All of Krishna\u2019s associates \u2013 His parents, cowherd boyfriends, and the gopis<\/i> \u2013 are all village people. Vrindavan means village life where Krishna is the centre of everything. In Vrindavan they have not learned about Krishna from the Vedas, and neither do they care much for the Vedas. However, everyone loves Krishna. At any moment, Prabhupada might speak directly like that about Krishnaloka. The wonderful thing was how he conveyed it to us. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 16, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Alone with Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Moments alone with Srila Prabhupada were rare but cherished. Sometimes one daydreamed that he might always remain alone with him, but he would soon be awakened to the reality that Prabhupada was meant for everyone. If it came about that Prabhupada was alone with a particular person for some time, he accepted that, but when others came into his association, he showed he was not attached to being with one over the other. If you began to think that you had a special relationship with Prabhupada, that maybe Prabhupada liked to be with you alone, that feeling would be shattered.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the early days Prabhupada appreciated an audience of any size \u2013 it meant that the preaching was alive and vital. It meant that Krishna was being glorified. It meant that kirtana<\/i> was being conducted with great enthusiasm and that Prabhupada would be able to speak to many people about Krishna. On occasions like that Prabhupada would think, \u201cI am fulfilling my Guru Maharaj\u2019s order.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

An envious person would misunderstand and think, \u201cOh, this man wants worship. That\u2019s what he likes.\u201d But when preaching, Prabhupada became surcharged with a different emotion. He rose to these occasions and became very blissful with waves of Krishna consciousness. It was a far cry from the long periods when no one cared to hear him. He also saw it as suitable that Krishna\u2019s representative was well received.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada liked to be among others. If he had wanted to be alone, he could have stayed in Vrindavan and never come to the West \u2013 and we all would be rotting in hell. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 17, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Believability<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had a lot of ammunition. He had good reasoning power and good arguments. He had personal saintliness and a mystical connection with the Supreme. He had the ancient and great Vaisnava tradition behind him. He was from India and spoke of many acaryas<\/i> who also accepted Krishna consciousness. He said that what he was preaching was the same thing that Christ and Buddha taught. So, if one went against him, he went against all the Vishnu incarnations, all the God-teachers and sages of renunciation and lovers of the Supreme. He frankly said that the truth is beyond our senses; we should accept it and be humble.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said that what he was teaching would bring freedom from anxiety. This was wanted. Swamiji himself appeared to be free of anxiety and he was \u201cfixed.\u201d He said that anyone could do it just by chanting Hare Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One time while Swamiji was lecturing about life on higher planets, he added, \u201cI am not just saying this, but I am convinced.\u201d Other times he would say, \u201cRest assured.\u201d Or, \u201cTake it from me.\u201d He was willing to teach on that basis also. He was saying in effect, \u201cI know what I\u2019m talking about. I realize this. It is a fact, so please take it and accept it from me. If you chant Hare Krishna, you will understand that Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. All these things will become revealed to you. Take it from me, there are higher planets. Just because you can\u2019t understand it and you cannot touch it with your senses, that does not mean that it does not exist.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 18, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Teachings: A \u201cPackage Deal\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A doubtful person inquired and got answers from Swamiji. Gradually, he began to accept whatever Prabhupada said. He wanted us to accept everything, a \u201cpackage deal\u201d: the demigods in the higher planets, four-armed forms, thousand-headed forms, and so on. Everything started to be part of the same axiomatic truth \u2013 whatever was in the Vedas, whatever was taught by the spiritual master. One did not get to pick and choose. Besides, there was a reason why everything was believable. If it was not \u201cbelievable\u201d to you, that is also understandable. You did not have to comprehend it with your own brain \u2013 it was often beyond you. Once you accepted these premises, then you accepted particular teachings that sounded strange to outsiders on the principle of acintya<\/i>, inconceivable knowledge. And as one came to learn, knowledge born of these senses was defective. The realities of other worlds didn\u2019t have to tally with our world. The guru knew what was right. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 19, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s \u201cPreliminary\u201d Lessons<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even if Srila Prabhupada and Vyasadeva and other acaryas<\/i> do sometimes teach us in preliminary ways, as one deals with less intelligent people, the learner will not be harmed if he follows their exact instructions. If there is more esoteric information that is beyond him, and which he does not know because his teachers do not teach him \u2013 still he will not be harmed if he trusts them. They know the best way to bring him through all the obstacles, back home, back to Godhead. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The literal presentation of Krishna consciousness in the Scriptures that Prabhupada insists on is not itself simplistic or dogmatic. Prabhupada states that Krishna certainly walked the Earth in His divine form and He is also present now in His holy name. He is fully present in stone or brass deities, but these truths are themselves very esoteric and can only be fully understood by the pure devotee. As stated in the scriptures, atah sri-krsna-namadi<\/i> … \u201cOne cannot understand Krishna with blunt senses. When his senses are purified through service, then one can understand Him.\u201d Prabhupada taught esoteric knowledge, but he has kindly given it to us in such a way that even beginners can accept Krishna literally \u2013 but they should know that the full Krishna will be revealed to us only when we are purified. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 20, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prayer in Practice<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada meditation transcends time and place, although it can happen in any time and place. He can be with you even in a hot cubbyhole in a cheap hotel. When he does come to you, your place becomes transcendental. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Rupa Gosvami has stated that everything can be used in the service of Krishna. Even the botheration of travel can evoke a fond meditation. Whatever our ongoing situation, we can always dovetail it with Prabhupada meditation of one sort or another.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Give respects to the memories of Swamiji. Just hold them in your mind, worship his lotus feet. You do not have to be a radio broadcaster telling everyone about it. It is a moment of remembrance for you. For your own benefit. Appreciate that you were there; worship the minutes and hours. \u201cPrabhupada, I loved you. I do<\/i> love you. I appreciate the Krishna consciousness that you have brought. I want to be carried out of this material world; please save me. Please let me remember that I am your menial sisya<\/i> who learns from you, practices Vaisnavism under your direction. <\/p>\n

December 21, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His Risks on Krishna\u2019s Behalf<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the first year in New York before he started ISKCON, Prabhupada\u2019s life was full of risk and adventure. His coming to America was itself a risk. We can\u2019t imagine what it was like for Prabhupada to be without money in a foreign country and yet to dare to present Krishna consciousness. If at any point he had gone back to India, after the robbery in his room on 70th<\/sup> Street, or on any of those Scindia return voyages, or after he had to leave the Bowery when Mr. Paul went crazy \u2013 if at any point he had gone back, then we would never have been born.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes he had to abandon the strict regulations of sannyasa<\/i> in order to stay and do the more important work of spreading Krishna consciousness. When he stayed in Carl Yeargen\u2019s apartment, he had to keep his food in the same refrigerator where Carl kept cat food. Prabhupada knew this was actually against the rules for sannyasa<\/i> living, but \u201cif I thought \u2018I can\u2019t do this, let me go back to India,\u2019 then I never would have been able to preach.\u201d In Prabhupada\u2019s case, his risks were completely protected by Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada conducted his activities with faith in the holy names and a desire to carry out his spiritual master\u2019s order. He improvised and accepted the broken souls who came to him, provided he saw them as sincere. Everything he did was bona fide according to Vaisnava smrti<\/i>, but some things had to be done according to time, place and persons. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Later on, Prabhupada\u2019s mood had not changed; he was ready to go to hell for Krishna. According to the ninth offense against the holy name, the guru must not give the holy name to unqualified persons. Technically speaking, we lack some of the qualifications for initiation, but Prabhupada accepted us because we showed at least some sparks of spiritual interest. Prabhupada impressed on us that initiation vows were lifelong and serious and he expected us to follow them. Nevertheless, he went ahead with tremendous trust, even though we hadn\u2019t done that much to show we were trustworthy. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 22, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We Are Meant to Praise<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cPersons who hear from a spiritual master with great labor and for a long time must hear from the mouths of pure devotees about the character and activities of pure devotees. Pure devotees always think within their hearts of the lotus feet of the Personality of Godhead, who awards His devotees liberation.\u201d \u2013 Bhag<\/i>. 3.13.4<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In his Bhaktivedanta Purport, Srila Prabhupada writes, \u201cSuch pure devotees of the Lord are as glorious as the Lord; they are, in fact, recommended by the Lord as more worshipable than He Himself. Worship of the devotee is more potent than worship of the Lord.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

However, Prabhupada writes, \u201cIt is therefore the duty of the transcendental students to hear of pure devotees, as explained by similar devotees of the Lord, because one cannot explain about the Lord or His devotee unless one happens to be a pure devotee himself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Does this mean we should not remember and glorify Srila Prabhupada until we become pure devotees? I don\u2019t think this is the intended meaning. But I should recognize that my own appreciation of Srila Prabhupada is very limited. Only a pure devotee can fully understand the nature of pure Vaisnavas, but if we follow the principles of prayer and glorification as given by the great acaryas<\/i>, then we too can raise our tiny voices in praise of our spiritual master. This affirmation was expressed by the \u201cprofessional reciters\u201d who were praising King Prhtu:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAlthough we are unable to glorify you adequately, we nonetheless have a transcendental taste to glorify your activities. We shall try to glorify you according to the instructions received from authoritative sages and scholars. Whatever we speak, however, is always inadequate and very insignificant.\u201d \u2013 Bhag<\/i>. 4.16.3<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Discussion of the activities of mahatmas<\/i> will help us to become better devotees. When a young disciple of Srila Prabhupada\u2019s sent him an original poem, \u201cEight Verses in Praise of My Spiritual Master,\u201d Prabhupada replied that it was \u201cvery nice and thoughtful.\u201d He encouraged his disciple to continue praising the Vaisnavas:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cMay Krishna bless you to improve more and more in writing the glories of our previous acaryas<\/i> and the Lord. Be engaged in glorifying the parampara<\/i> system and your life will be glorified automatically thousands of times.\u201d \u2013 Letter August 14, 1971<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Supreme Lord and His liberated associates are beyond the estimation of even other great souls such as Lord Brahma and Lord Siva. But it is our duty to pray, although we are inadequate, in order to purify ourselves. Prabhupada writes, \u201cAs stated by Prahlad Maharaj, everyone should glorify the Lord according to his own ability. If we are sincere and serious devotees, the Lord will give us the intelligence to offer prayers properly.\u201d (Bhag<\/i>. 4.16.2 Purport)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In teaching Sanatana Goswami the regulations of devotional service, Lord Caitanya also advised that when a disciple comes before the spiritual master, he should speak appropriate praises. So there\u2019s no question of \u201cwaiting until you become a pure devotee.\u201d We are meant to praise, to give thanks, to repeat the teachings of Prabhupada and to please the devotees by remembrances of His Divine Grace. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 23, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

More Reasons for Remembering Him<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada has said that each person is ultimately alone, like a pilot in a one-man airplane. This will be made clear to us at the time of death when we have to \u201cfly our own plane.\u201d Then we will want to surrender ourselves fully to Prabhupada and Krishna. Then there will be no relief in medicines, when the body itself, which seemed to be our friend and shelter, will not be able to sustain us. Worldly pleasures and possessions will lose their taste.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now is the time to prepare. Later, our ability to think of Krishna and Prabhupada will be impaired. Telling memories of Prabhupada is for now, when we are looking for subject matter for hearing and reading, and when we are capable of it. The living being is so lively and curious that if he doesn\u2019t hear of the pure devotee, he will hear something else. So Prabhupada meditation is a way to keep the mind fixed at the lotus feet of the pure devotees.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some philosophers say that the best preparation for death is detachment toward things of this world. It is not possible for the eternal living being to kill all his attachments and desires, but one may transfer them from material things to Krishna consciousness. Whatever we think of at the end of life will form our situation in the next life. And so it is said by Lord Kapiladeva:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery learned man knows very well that attachment for the material is the greatest entanglement for the spirit soul. But that same attachment, when applied to self-realized devotees, opens the door of liberation.\u201d \u2013 Bhag.<\/i> 3.25.20 <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 24, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Remember Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Our business is to save ourselves by remembering Srila Prabhupada at the time of death. All his activities are worth remembering and passing on to others, at least for the next ten thousand years of Kali-yuga. It is distasteful to us if someone says, \u201cPrabhupada is just one guru, and eventually he will be forgotten. There will be other gurus with other pastimes and the main thing is the message, not this person.\u201d We don\u2019t want to hear that. If we persist in being attached to Prabhupada, it can\u2019t be inauspicious. Even if aspects of his pastimes were temporary scenes, nevertheless, being attached to Prabhupada in a particular setting will not go in vain. Krishna will recognize it, and He will transform our devotion into eternal benefit. Krishna will say, \u201cBecause you were attached to Prabhupada there, now you can be attached to Radha and Krishna and Prabhupada.\u201d Somehow, Krishna can make it all satisfactory. It\u2019s not wrong to remember our teacher, how he taught us, when he taught us, and who he was. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 25, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Vanished Scenes?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada acknowledged that time wears away all things. Even Krishna\u2019s places of pastimes in this world have become covered over, leaving little trace of His presence. Rupa Goswami expressed this in a cryptic message to his brother, Sanatana, in jail. Rupa Goswami\u2019s note stated, \u201cWhere is the Ayodhya of Raghupati? Where is the Mathura of Krishna?\u201d His meaning was that everything in this world changes, but if you keep your mind fixed on that which is eternal, you will be steady. This is good advice to anyone in anxiety over the temporary , terrible situation of material prison life. According to Rupa Goswami, even the dhamas<\/i> within this world undergo change; therefore we should always meditate on the eternal essence of life.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Just as Lord Krishna\u2019s dhamas<\/i> are eternal, Prabhupada\u2019s pastimes have a similar quality; we should not be alarmed or doubt their validity. We may ask, \u201cWhere is Ayodhya? Where is Dwaraka, the city by the sea? Where is the Yadu dynasty? Where is the pious humankind whom Krishna came to restore? Where are the Pandavas or their descendents?\u201d Although the spiritual pastimes of the Lord may disappear from our vision, they continue to exist for those who have perfect vision. Time is not greater than Krishna or Krishna\u2019s pastimes. But because the material world is the kingdom of Maya, even spiritual edifices will crumble. The inner spirit is carried on by the parampara<\/i> of living devotees.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even in terms of perceivable objects, Prabhupada\u2019s most important legacies are still flourishing. His books continue to be printed in new editions, and the chanting of the Hare Krishna mantra goes on just as it was during his time. His vani<\/i>, and therefore his spirit, his presence, is alive as long as there are sincere devotees. The vyasasana<\/i> he sat on may not be there any more; its upholstery has corroded, or is in somebody\u2019s basement, or in a museum. But the chair is not as important as what he spoke from the vyasasana.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The recitation of Prabhupada\u2019s pastimes, in words and books, is not subjected to destruction as long as it is carried on from generation to generation. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Viewed against the powerful forces of time, the devotees may seem like pathetic creatures vanquished by maya<\/i>. In fact, we are very tiny, and we have a very limited conception of time. The time of the universe is beyond our calculation, and yet even the universe is created again and again. We say, \u201cWe want Prabhupada as he appeared in America in 1965.\u201d On that material level we may seem foolish, but we know that Srila Prabhupada\u2019s appearance had an eternal reality we can preserve. \u201cTrue Vaisnavas never die, but live in sound …\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 26, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Why Meditate on Prabhupada?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cJust as a person travelling on the road rests one foot on the ground and then lifts the other, whereas a worm on a vegetable transfers itself to one leaf and then gives up the previous one, a conditioned soul takes shelter of another body and then gives up the one he had before.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Purport:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is the process of the whole transmigration from one body to another. At the time of death according to his mental condition, the living being is carried by the subtle body consisting of mind, intelligence and ego to another gross body. When higher authorities have decided what kind of gross body the living entity will have, he is forced to enter such a body, and thus he automatically gives up his previous body. Dull-minded persons, who do not have the intelligence to understand this process of transmigration, take for granted that when the gross body is finished, one\u2019s life is finished forever. Such persons have no brains with which to understand the process of transmigration. At the present moment there is great opposition to the Hare Krishna movement, which is being called a brainwashing movement. But actually, the so-called scientists, philosophers and other leaders in the Western countries have no brains at all. The Hare Krishna movement is trying to elevate such foolish persons by enlightening their intelligence so that they will take advantage of the human body. Unfortunately, because of gross ignorance they regard the Hare Krishna movement as a brainwashing movement. They do not know that without God consciousness one is forced to continue transmigrating from one body to another. Because of their devilish brains, they will next be forced to accept an abominable life and practically never be able to liberate themselves from the conditional life of material existence. How this transmigration of the soul takes place is very clearly explained in this verse.\u201d (Bhag.<\/i> 10.1.40 Purport)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Question: \u201cThis passage makes me think about Prabhupada meditations and doubt their importance. I can see how earnest Prabhupada is to spread the knowledge of Krishna consciousness which starts with transmigration of the soul. If you can\u2019t understand that, then you cannot go further in Krishna consciousness. And so one might argue like this: The important thing is to learn this science, starting with transmigration of the soul, from Prabhupada\u2019s books. Cultivation of personal memories of what he did and said is therefore not important because it is not related to the important knowledge. Prabhupada lived for Krishna consciousness, this is what he wrote the books for, this is what the world needs. So by various means of propagation, Prabhupada\u2019s followers try to convince others that this one lifetime is not all. It was for these lessons that Prabhupada called us together and taught us and wanted us to serve and teach.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My reply to this is that cultivation of memories of Prabhupada and continuing our attachment to him is connected to learning the knowledge and carrying out the mission. Many of us accept this knowledge and believe in it only because he said so. For some of us, our \u201cbottom line\u201d of faith and realization is \u201cPrabhupada says.\u201d \u201cPrabhupada says that Krishna is God. Prabhupada says that Bhagavad-gita<\/i> is the best scripture, so read it.\u201d Of course everything doesn\u2019t just end with a dogmatic \u201cPrabhupada says.\u201d Once you actually hear about Krishna from him and read Bhagavad-gita As It Is<\/i>, you get realization. But it rests on that foundation, that Prabhupada said so. Thus the Siksastakum<\/i> verse declares, \u201cThe sankirtana<\/i> movement is the life of all knowledge.\u201d Because of him, the knowledge of Bhagavad-gita <\/i>becomes alive. It was Sanskrit, or mythology, or academic study, but now it comes alive. So it is essential for all the devotees in the Krishna consciousness movement to receive the knowledge through Prabhupada in parampara<\/i>. Therefore, why should they not want to relish hearing about him, and become attached to him as a person, and understand better how he was a teacher?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Stories about Prabhupada may indeed be considered a supplementary activity, a body of knowledge in our literature to help us have personal attachment to the pure devotee. Yet, by that personal attachment, Krishna is pleased. Yasya<\/i><\/strong>deve<\/i><\/strong>par\u0101<\/i><\/strong>bhaktir<\/i><\/strong>yath\u0101<\/i>deve<\/i><\/strong>tath\u0101 gurau<\/i> \u2013 Only by having faith in the guru and Krishna is knowledge revealed. We should not think that we will pick up the science of transmigration in the higher stages of bhakti<\/i> by intellectual studentship. There has to be a personal relationship with the guru. This will hold true also for future times. They will have a relationship with Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 27, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Everyone has their own Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada is an objective reality. And yet, we don\u2019t want to be told by someone, \u201cThis is exactly how you must feel about him, and this is what he wants from you.\u201d No, we want our own understanding of Prabhupada, because we have to surrender our own free will to him. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Therefore, dear Prabhupada, let me call you, \u201cMy Prabhupada.\u201d I don\u2019t mean \u201cpet Prabhupada\u201d or \u201cillusory Prabhupada.\u201d You, Srila Prabhupada, are the master, and you will tell me what to do. And yet I call you \u201cMy Prabhupada\u201d because you touched my heart in the beginning and you continue to do so. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When a devotee says, \u201cMy spiritual master, Prabhupada,\u201d that cry has to come from the self. It cannot be programmed into you by another person. Others may help by giving us Prabhupada\u2019s books and telling us about him, but ultimately, with our own hands, we have to reach out and hold on to his mercy. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This is a simple fact, because we are each alone and we must respond with our own senses. On our own we have to stop sex, intoxication and gambling. When you dream, does someone else dream for you? When you chant japa<\/i>, you must hear your own japa<\/i>. When you lecture and repeat something that Prabhupada said, it is you speaking, not someone else. You either know the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> verse, or you don\u2019t. It is up to you, and you get the reward. Each plane must go by itself into the sky; each bird keeps itself aloft by its own power in the sky \u2013 and they may meet at the destination. So it stands to reason that we each have our own Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 28, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, the Essence of Cool<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although Prabhupada was worlds apart from the young people in America, the younger generation accepted him as \u201ccool;\u201d he was hip in his own way. He was not a middle class conformist, and he had not come to give us Boy Scout lessons. He was not a churchman giving sermons with a piety that we could not relate to.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Aside from age and cultural distances, there is always a distance between two persons until they get to know each other. In the beginning you try to see whether you really will be able to be intimate with another person. We must never forget that Prabhupada was able to establish intimacy with hundreds of persons. He did not really give us lessons in perfection delivered from a mountain top. Rather, his physical association was always near by. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami was fearless. He was convinced that his message was relevant and had to be spoken. It was his show; he was in control, but he had to protect himself, especially in the beginning. It was not that the devotees were completely ready to be on his side, so he had to control the whole thing and say, \u201cDon\u2019t disturb, don\u2019t disturb.\u201d He depended on Krishna as he went on speaking the difficult-to-understand philosophy \u2013 concepts of Bhagavad-gita<\/i> and the assertion that Krishna is God. He just went right ahead without watering it down in the least. You couldn\u2019t understand it all, but you stayed and listened to him. You caught a word here and there: \u201cCaitanya, Krishna.\u201d Missed a word here and there. We did not understand very much of it. <\/p>\n

December 29, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: The Strength Within Us<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In order to stay in touch with Prabhupada, we can\u2019t be dead. We have to be active and reciprocate. However, there are some things that Prabhupada instigates himself. There is spiritual strength, a faithfulness that I feel, which I know is from Prabhupada \u2013 it is almost like a growth of some kind, and it has its own existence and its own strength. According to sastra<\/i>, this is the bhakti-lata<\/i>, the devotional creeper. It is Prabhupada being with us in an important way.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

For example, when I hear skeptical talk against Krishna, there are certain responses of faithfulness that are within my power, in my consciousness and intellect, and so I reply with those. Sometimes I may become overwhelmed by opposition or distractions, but nevertheless, there is this supply of strength that keeps coming from being a disciple of Prabhupada. We speak of causeless mercy. Krishna and Prabhupada have claimed us, and in a sense we can\u2019t get away, because we have sincerely surrendered. As the Bhagavatam <\/i>says, \u201cIf you ever sincerely surrender to the lotus feet of the Lord, you can never go completely away even if you seem to. The Lord will claim you back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let me try to describe it again. We say that we are staying in spiritual life by the blessings of the spiritual master. Sometimes we can actually feel that blessing living within us, in addition to our own meagre resources, and in addition to what we are as persons. It is part of you, but you know where it comes from: from Prabhupada. One should use this strength courageously \u2013 and fight on the basis of knowing it is there. Krishna says His devotee will not be vanquished: Kaunteya pratijanihi na me bhakta\u1e25 pra\u1e47a\u015byati<\/i>. So one should think, \u201cI am a follower of Prabhupada, his sakti<\/i> is in me, I can sense it. I needn\u2019t be afraid. I can go anywhere and preach; he will protect me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Maybe this is what the Vaisnavas are expressing in their poetry when they say, \u201cBy the blessings of the guru the blind man can see the stars in the sky, the lame man can cross mountains, and the dumb man can speak like a great orator.\u201d It is the sense of being empowered by the spiritual master. Devotees can witness these connections and speak of them and glorify the fact that Prabhupada lives in us.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 30, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Conversing With Srila Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I like to converse with Srila Prabhupada. I pray to him, along with Krishna. I say their names; I go through Prabhupada to Krishna. The talking is also a form of heart-to-heart talk. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I speak, and then I listen to them. Again they are together. Krishna speaks directly in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. He says, \u201cOne who understands Me as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, without doubting, is the knower of everything. He therefore engages in My full devotional service.\u201d And after Lord Krishna speaks, Prabhupada elaborates and explains to me what Sri Krishna means. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After hearing from them, I speak some more to my masters. I tell them what I am trying to do, where I am at. I ask for help. I express my thanks to them and feel my loving connection to them. I think that this kind of communication is far more important than too much thinking about<\/i> Prabhupada (rather than being with<\/i> him.<\/i>) After all, I am not an academic of Srila Prabhupada. I am a devotee.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Conversing with Srila Prabhupada is a form of meditation that can be done on a daily basis. As we face new predicaments, there is always new need to express ourselves to our guides. I try not to speak only at a pragmatic need, but to enter a loving exchange. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I accompany my prayers with action. At the end of the day, I give thanks for the service connection that I have enjoyed during the day and the ways in which Prabhupada and Krishna came and touched me \u2013 as well as the ways that I failed them. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 31, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Becoming Attached to Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It may be said that as we get attached to Prabhupada, there is a tendency to weaken in other relationships, especially material ones. If family ties are material, then they tend to weaken. The more you become Prabhupada\u2019s disciple, the less you become interested in other things that are not connected to Krishna. You also develop friendships with those who are Prabhupada\u2019s followers.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In my case, I did not know of Krishna except for the painting on the cover of Prabhavananda Swami\u2019s Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. I thought He was some mythical figure. But by meeting Swamiji on the Lower East Side, I began to know of my relationship with Krishna, starting with hearing about Him. And that has grown to the stage where I now identify Krishna as God, the God whom I understood in my childhood, the Supreme Being, the Creator, the God of religion and so on. As you make further progress, you begin to understand Krishna as Krishna. He becomes part of yourself, just as Prabhupada does. Even if you neglect the attachment, He is still there and He acts from His side, and that is a wonderful thing.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Prabhupada connection is tangible and strong. By his strength, you maintain yourself in spiritual life. If you haven\u2019t fallen down from the four rules, it is because he is protecting you. You should be able to perceive where the strength is coming from. \u201cO Gurudeva, your mercy is all that I am made of.\u201d As I perceive it, I am grateful, and I promise \u2013 with feelings of regret for having failed so far \u2013 to protect and reciprocate with Prabhupada\u2019s protective presence. Request him to stay always and especially as you go over the bridge from here to the next life.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

January 1, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sticking to His Point: We are All Servants<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada insisted on repeating the point that we are all servants. We may serve our bodies or families or our nation, but it is best to serve the Supreme Lord, and that is our constitutional position. In the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, Lord Krishna asks Arjuna, \u201cO son of Prtha, O conqueror of wealth, have you heard this with an attentive mind, and are your ignorance and illusion dispelled?\u201d (Bg 18.72). Arjuna replies, \u201cMy dear Krishna, O infallible one, my illusion is now gone. I have regained my memory by Your mercy, and I am now firm and free from doubt and am prepared to act according to Your instructions.\u201d In the purport, Prabhupada emphasizes that we are all in illusion thinking we are someone other than the servant of Krishna. We may even think that we do not have to serve anyone. But we do serve \u2013 either the illusory energy or the Lord.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This morning when I read this, I recalled a criticism I had heard that Prabhupada is a fundamentalist who does not deal with the esoteric interpretations of Vaisnava philosophy. As I read the purport, I saw that Prabhupada was being very basic and was repeating his theme. He says for example, \u201cThe living entity\u2019s constitutional position is to be a servitor; he has to serve either the illusory maya<\/i> or the Supreme Lord. And only when this illusion is overcome, can one understand Krishna.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The illusion that Arjuna refers to was mentioned by Lord Krishna when He said, \u201cIs your illusion gone? Is your doubt gone?\u201d Arjuna replied, \u201cYes, my illusion is gone; my doubt is gone, thanks to You.\u201d But in these verses of the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, the Lord does not specifically state what<\/i> the illusion is. Prabhupada tells us what it is.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada says that almost all conditioned souls are in this state of illusion. If it were not so, then we would be liberated; we would be pure devotees. Prabhupada is not wrong to insist on this. Because he is such an essential preacher, he wants to deliver us just as Krishna delivered Arjuna. He is not speaking as an academic exercise or in a theoretical way. He wants to save the soul, guide it to the lotus feet of Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada wants us to actually transform ourselves in all our activities and thoughts, into bhaktas<\/i> of Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. So his proposal is the heaviest, and it is also the most relishable. He is the most existential preacher, moving us to action. If we take this action, then all the esoteric truths of Krishna consciousness rasa<\/i> will be revealed to us. If we do not do what Prabhupada says, then although we may find another teacher who will freely talk about esoteric topics, how will it move us to actually surrender ourselves to Krishna? How many of us are so advanced that they have already done what Prabhupada has asked us to do? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I think, in most cases, if anyone is not satisfied with Prabhupada\u2019s writing, it is because they want to discuss something else, not because they have already complied with what he said. Rather they sometimes feel disturbed that he is asking them to surrender to Krishna the Supreme Personality of Godhead. They want to discuss something else.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even if one wants to hear discussions of something else about Krishna \u2013 to hear about Krishna and the gopis<\/i>, or hear a symbolic interpretation of the meaning of surrender \u2013 this can only be done in a meaningful way when one has already grasped his constitutional identity. Prabhupada is sticking to his point, which is Krishna\u2019s point and the point of the previous acaryas<\/i>. He is offering the reader enlightenment and a plan of action. Our illusion is that we are thinking we do not have to serve anyone, or we think that we ourselves are the masters. But Krishna consciousness means to accept Krishna as the Supreme Personality of Godhead.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 2, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s \u201cInvoluntary\u201d Smiles<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By smiling involuntarily I mean the best kind of smiles, when you can\u2019t help yourself but feel your lips parting back from your teeth, and there you are, smiling. Perhaps you even make an effort not<\/i> to smile, but you have to smile anyway. It was very pleasing to see Prabhupada smile like that, because it was so humanlike. Somehow or other, we all hankered to see those aspects of Prabhupada. He was godlike; he was heavy as guru. If he had not been so heavy, he would not have been able to take us out of maya<\/i>. But we all sought his smile as a special kind of lift; and also for tenderness\u2019 sake, we very much wanted to see Srila Prabhupada smile.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Keeping Personally Connected to Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A possible danger as time goes by is that Prabhupada\u2019s followers may lose touch with his personal nature. We can see this in the history of world religions. In Christianity some of the followers have developed an impersonal attitude toward Jesus Christ, and some may not even believe in his historic reality. They talk about \u201cThe Christ within each one of us.\u201d There is also a danger of doing that with Prabhupada. Although we do say that Prabhupada is inconceivable and beyond what we know of him, yet we also know that his personal nature is very real, important, and lasting. He is the pure devotee of Krishna, and his appearance in our lives is still our greatest solace. When Prabhupada delivers us Krishna conscious knowledge, we accept it in parampara<\/i> and because the knowledge is formidable and appealing \u2013 but also because it comes from him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By the sheer number of times we refer to Prabhupada and then turn to him, a strain is placed upon the freshness of our perception. Our desire for novelty is not satisfied. When that happens we look elsewhere for pleasure. And then an unfortunate thing occurs. Despite our official praise for Prabhupada, we find difficulty in reading his books. This is the dreaded rigor mortis<\/i> that comes from too much institutionalism and not enough personal care for our personal relationship and memories with Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As with any worthy human relationship, our loving relationship with Prabhupada can be kept fresh, but we have to make an effort. One way I have found to fight against mechanical or boring reading sessions is to read Prabhupada prayerfully, not just for gaining information or to finish a big quantity of pages. I read as a way to meet him and be with him. This is just one of many methods. We may have to try out new varieties and approaches just to stay alive in Prabhupada consciousness. It will not happen automatically by reciting a \u201cPledge of Allegiance,\u201d but by keeping oneself alive.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

New Life in Prabhupada\u2019s Books<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada did not write as a mechanical routine; it was real for him, and so it can be real for us if we tune in to his wave length. Prabhupada refers to this as \u201csubmissive aural reception.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we can read in this way, it becomes enjoyable. When we read only as duty, we become guilt-ridden. We think, \u201cI know I am supposed to worship this book, so why can\u2019t I? What is wrong with me?\u201d Then we start forcing ourselves and kicking ourselves, \u201cRead Prabhupada! You are supposed to do it!\u201d But if you push and nag a little child, he will not like it and he will rebel. While reading and walking with the Isopanisad<\/i>, I found myself spontaneously appreciating Prabhupada\u2019s purport, \u201cHey, this is good!\u201d (I also got renewed appreciation for the fact that the verses were translated by Prabhupada. They had his flavor, \u201cThe self-sufficient philosopher who is awarding everyone\u2019s desires since time immemorial …\u201d)<\/p>\n

January 5, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Using Prabhupada Memories <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Just as we maintain our aging bodies by exercise and rest, so the memories have to be exercised. One has to be humble and accept even little memories as worthwhile. We should seek any occasion to talk about Prabhupada in a natural way. We must also be humble to recognize that other devotees are repositories of Prabhupada-katha, and hear from them without envy.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Approaching memories of Srila Prabhupada requires humility. There is also an art to it. We should remember in an honest way. For example, when a remembrance first returns to us, it may be disappointing. This is due to our lack of devotion, or our poor memories. In a similar way, sometimes a devotee attempts to paint a portrait of Prabhupada, but it doesn\u2019t come out nicely. We may point out the defect (gently) and encourage the artist to try again.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ultimately, the best way to retain an original freshness in Krishna consciousness is to go beyond the neophyte stage and become a pure devotee. A pure devotee of the Lord spontaneously sees Krishna in all things. As stated in the \u012a\u015bopani\u1e63ad<\/i>, \u201cHe who sees everything in relation to the Supreme Lord, who sees all entities as His parts and parcels, and who sees the Supreme Lord within everything, never hates anything or any being.\u201d When one attains the stage of spontaneous Krishna consciousness, then he will truly love Krishna and Prabhupada and see their influence everywhere. Such a pure devotee will never be disturbed by \u201cfamiliarity\u201d or opposition to Krishna consciousness. The maha-bhagavata<\/i> stage cannot be imitated, but we can improve our condition so that we do not fall away or become merely official devotees.<\/p>\n

Even at our present stage of advancement, whatever it may be, we can appreciate Prabhupada with our hearts, as he actually occurs in our lives, sometimes humorously, and sometimes tragically, as when we neglect him. Although our memories and our service on behalf of Prabhupada sometimes come out poorly, let us accept them for what they are and seek to improve them. <\/p>\n

January 6, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Removing the Fear of Prabhupada\u2019s Presence <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The presence of Prabhupada in separation is a mystical topic. He is not there in his physical form, and yet you claim in some way that he is there. What are you saying? Are you communing with spirits? Is it something weird?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No, it\u2019s not weird. Prabhupada\u2019s presence is very real and personal, and very tangible. In one sense, it simply means to follow the guru\u2019s instructions. But his presence is also something inconceivable to the material senses and mind. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I do not doubt that Prabhupada can be present before me, but I have some fear of coming into his presence. I should remove that fear. My fear is that he will reprimand me and tell me to stop what I am doing; or I fear that he will not understand me. I am putting so much energy into my work and sometimes coming up with some \u201cdiscoveries.\u201d But what if Prabhupada dismissed all that I do as nonsense? That would be hard to take.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although I have some hesitation, I am trying to listen to what Prabhupada is telling me to do. One way to accomplish this is by prayerful reading. When I speak my mind and then read from Prabhupada\u2019s purport and listen to what he is saying, I try to apply it to my life. Aside from reading his books, I also desire his presence in my heart. As I am alive and talking, so Prabhupada is alive and can hear me. He can communicate to me. This should be possible for all of Prabhupada\u2019s disciples who are immersed in his teachings. They know his way of thinking and speaking from his purports, conversations and lectures; so why should it be impossible for them to meditate on Prabhupada, desire his presence and know his will? I should assume with more confidence that Prabhupada is my friend and that he is quite capable of understanding my mind. If I make my position clear to him, he will understand. And he will accept me. I am a grown-up son now, at least in terms of years, although spiritually I am still a baby. I am exerting my free will more than when I was a youngster. And that I must do. It is part of my surrender, to give my whole life and not just wait for Prabhupada to direct me at each moment.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 7, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, the Original Book Distributor<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

All book distribution came from the inspiration of Prabhupada. In fact, all the different kinds of book distribution were originally done by him. The library party distributed books to universities and libraries, but Prabhupada was the first to do that successfully. In New Delhi, he was also the first one to distribute Back to Godhead <\/i>magazines in the streets and at the tea stalls; he also distributed his own books in the bookstores in Manhattan. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 8, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

From Prabhupada\u2019s Point of View: Alone in New York City<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Suppose you want to tell of your experience in facing a tiger. You were traveling unarmed through the jungle, when suddenly you came upon a tiger. As a narrator, you build up the suspense, \u201cThere I was, face-to-face with a ferocious tiger!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We can empathize with the terror you must have felt, simply by stretching our imaginations a little, we feel your danger. Similarly, we may try to put ourselves in Prabhupada\u2019s position: what was it like for him to come alone to America and to live in New York City? Let us think of those circumstances and appreciate it from Prabhupada\u2019s point of view. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In New York, Prabhupada is wrapped up in the preaching mood. He thinks, \u201cMy dear Lord Krishna, why have You brought me here? This place of demons is far away from Vrindavana. But You must have some purpose.\u201d Prabhupada\u2019s disciples find themselves in similar situations when they go to preach in countries where there is no ISKCON temple to support them. Fortunately, by Prahbupada\u2019s work, the International Society for Krishna Consciousness is never very far away from us. Yet occasionally, we are on our own. At times like that, we can remember what it was like for Prabhupada alone in New York City.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

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January 9, 2015<\/b><\/p>\n

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Seeing the Person Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Everyone can meditate on Prabhupada in a personal relationship, and the perfection of thinking of him is to see him as a person. Prabhupada sitting like a lotus on the water, writing his books, honoring prasadam<\/i>, sitting in a simple room, plotting, planning, getting involved \u2013 always transcendental. Prabhupada meditation is a sanctuary from material hassles and from the frustrations that occur in socializing and dealing within his movement. Prabhupada meditations can encourage us by reading a few pages of Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i> or any of the many memoirs about Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada states in the Krishna Book<\/i> that any bona fide book about Krishna, \u201cEven this book Krishna<\/i>,\u201d can be a solace for devotees feeling separation from the Lord. We read the Krishna Book<\/i> and hear of Krishna\u2019s activities while working within Krishna\u2019s movement. Similarly, we hear about Prabhupada\u2019s activities while carrying out his work in contemporary forms. Prabhupada himself is the classic, inviolable essence \u2013 always a person, the great teacher, the simple, pure-hearted devotee. The person who is mysterious to us because his intimacy with Krishna is beyond our vision, that person we want to remember. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes we can study Srila Prabhupada\u2019s life and teachings at leisure. More often we have to remember Prabhupada while on the run, while in the struggle to live and preach. We have to renounce the pleasure of sitting at the lotus feet of the spiritual master. We have to go out and preach on his behalf. Sometimes this work on behalf of the guru creates a kind of separation from him that is only relieved by remembrance. <\/p>\n

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January 10, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Remembering Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I was eight years old and in the fourth grade of elementary school, Miss Williams taught us a good lesson about forgetfulness. Some students had forgotten to do their homework, so she wrote the word \u201cFORGET\u201d on the blackboard in very large letters. She then drew many arrows shooting at the word. It was a bad thing to forget. Later, Miss Williams covered up that section of the blackboard with a map of the United States. We all forgot what was underneath, but at the end of the year, she removed the map and there it was …<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some forgetting is good. Prabhupada used to say, \u201cWe have to forgive and forget, or how can we live?\u201d Forget grudges and forgive minor offenses that people may commit against us. We should never forget Krishna, however, and we should always shoot arrows at our forgetfulness of Prabhupada. According to the scriptures, even a moment\u2019s forgetfulness of the Lord and His pure devotees is the greatest loss.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

How do I remember Prabhupada? First of all, I remember that there was (and is) such a person as Prabhupada. Descartes said, \u201cI think, therefore I am.\u201d That was his bottom line of truth. Our bottom line is, \u201cI remember Prabhupada, therefore I am.\u201d I am now in spiritual life because my spiritual master delivered me from darkness. I do not forget that. I remember him and follow him. Basic remembrance of Prabhupada refers to the promises we made him at our initiation \u2013 the four rules and sixteen rounds and other obligations. We aspire to be Krishna conscious and to read Bhagavad-gita<\/i> and his other books. We aspire to serve among his devotees. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we remember him in personal ways, that is the sweetness which makes life worth living. We may say duty is enough, but who does not crave joy, \u201cthe nectar for which we are always anxious.\u201d For example, I remember soft saffron on Prabhupada\u2019s body. I sense his stature. He was not tall or fat, but neither do we think of him as gaunt. None of these words seem to apply.<\/p>\n

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Our remembrance of Srila Prabhupada is more than nostalgia for a wonderful person who was here, but who is now gone. Remembering Prabhupada is the cutting edge of our life at every moment.<\/p>\n

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Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura said that when one forgets his guru, then all one thinks of is, \u201cI run in a hurry for my bath. I become busy for preventing a cold. I run after other occupations different from the service of Sri Gurudeva.\u201d<\/p>\n

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January 11, 2015 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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January 11, 1966: Prime Minister Shastri Dies<\/p>\n

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Prime Minister Lal Bahadur Shastri died of a heart attack while visiting Russia. The Prime Minister had been a personal acquaintance of Srila Prabhupada\u2019s in India and an admirer of his Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> translation. He had been scheduled to visit America, and Prabhupada had expected to obtain a personal sanction from him for the release of funds from India. His untimely death was a great upset in Srila Prabhupada\u2019s plans to purchase the building at 143 West 72nd<\/sup> Street. The realtors had shown him the building, and he had already mentally designed the interior for Deity worship and distribution of prasadam<\/i>. The money was to come from India, and Prime Minister Shastri was to give personal sanction for release of the funds. But suddenly that was all changed. <\/p>\n

January 12, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Letter to the Landlord<\/p>\n

\nOn January 14, 1966, <\/b>Prabhupada decided to write the owner of the building, Mr. A.B. Hartman. He explained how his plans had been upset, and he proposed a new plan:<\/p>\n

Now the Prime Minister Mr. Lal Bahadur Shastri is suddenly dead, and I am greatly perplexed . . . As there is now great difficulty for getting money from India, I am requesting you to allow me to use the place for the Institution For God consciousness, at least for some time. The house is lying vacant for so many days without any use, and I learn it that you are paying the taxes, insurance and other charges for the house although you have no income from there. If, however, you, allow this place for this public institution, you shall at least save the taxes and other charges which you are paying now for nothing.<\/p>\n

If I can start the institution immediately, certainly I shall be able to get sympathy locally, and in that case I may not be required to get money from India. I am also requesting that your honor become one of the Directors of this public institution because you will give a place to start the institution.<\/p>\n

A.B. Hartman wasn\u2019t interested.<\/p>\n

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January 13, 2016<\/p>\n

<\/b>Letter from Mr. Singhania
\n<\/b>\n<\/p>\n

On the same day he wrote Mr. Hartman, Prabhupada received a letter from Sri Padampat Singhania, the director of the very large J.K. organization in India. Prabhupada had written Sri Padmapatji for financial support, and this reply gave him hope. Not only was the Singhania family fabulously wealthy, but its members were devotees of Lord Krishna. <\/p>\n

My dear Svamiji,<\/p>\n

I have gone through your letter. I am very glad to know your idea of erecting a Sri Radha-Krishna temple in New York. I think the proposal is a good one, but the following are the difficulties . . . <\/p>\n

Mr. Singhania pointed out two difficulties. 1) He had to get government sanction to send money and foreign exchange to America. 2) Mr. Singhania doubted whether with this small amount of seven lakhs [$110,000] that Prabhupada was asking a temple could be built in New York. He said he was thinking of a temple, a nice construction with Indian-type architecture. For this he would have to send a man to America. These were the two difficulties, \u201cotherwise your idea is very good.\u201d <\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada and Mr. Singhania had a basic disagreement. A magnificent temple in New York would cost many millions of dollars to construct. Prabhupada knew, of course, that if Padmapat Singhania wanted, he could provide millions of dollars. But then how would he get so much money out of India? Prabhupada therefore again suggested that they only spend seven lakhs. \u201cAfter purchasing the house,\u201d he wrote, \u201cwe can build another story upon it with a temple dome, cakra<\/i>, etc.\u201d <\/p>\n

Prabhupada had his own line of reasoning:<\/p>\n

Lord Dvarkadisa exhibited His opulence at Dvaraka with sixteen thousand queens, and it is understood that He built a palace for each and every queen. And the palaces were made with jewels and stones so that there was no necessity for artificial light in the palaces. So your conception of building a temple of Lord Krsna is in opulence. But we are residents of Vrndavana, and Vrndavana has no palaces like your Dvaraka. Vrndavana is full of forests and cows on the bank of the Yamuna, and Lord Krsna, in His childhood, played the part of a cowherd boy without any opulence as you people, the inhabitants of Dvaraka, are accustomed. So when the Dvaraka-walas meet the Vrndavana-walas there may be a via medium.\u201d<\/p>\n

With Sri Padmapat\u2019s Dvaraka-like wealth and Srila Prabhupada\u2019s Vrndavana-like devotion, Lord Krsna, the Lord of both Vrndavana and Dvaraka, could be properly worshiped.<\/p>\n

January 14, 2016<\/p>\n

<\/b>The Process of Memory<\/p>\n

Memories slow down and fade, just as the physical body slows down with old age. Aging, though, can be checked so that it does not deteriorate so quickly. If you begin an exercise program and improve your diet, you may feel rejuvenated. Similarly, memories do not have to wither and die if you exercise them. As a singer grows older, he or she loses the wonderful timbre and range of the peak years, but sometimes a singer develops a personal phrasing that substitutes for lack of power. These artists go right on to the very end making poignant expressions. In this way, our memories of Prabhupada may continue as long as we live. As we serve, we get fresh realizations.<\/p>\n

We want to go back without obstruction to whatever memory is there and accept it. We want to go back and ask, “Memories of Prabhupada, please come forward.” When the memories come forward, we meet them halfway.<\/p>\n

When events in the world push us to take shelter of Prabhupada, then we can remember him best. Humility and gratitude help us here. In the Nectar of Devotion<\/i>, we read that remembrance of Krsna may be invoked by hearing someone play a flute, or just by seeing a darkish cloud. These impetuses help us to remember Krsna and become flooded with krsna-prema<\/i>. It works like that with Srila Prabhupada also.<\/p>\n

Haiku poets speak of serendipity, the good luck or susceptibility to receive special moments. They say that you cannot voraciously devour special moments; you must go on with life and simply notice and honor the moments when they come of their own accord. I must be ready at any time to notice when I am visited by a Prabhupada remembrance. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada, and thank You, Lord Krsna, for allowing me to remember you both. <\/p>\n

January 15, 2016<\/p>\n

<\/b>Walking and Talking with Prabhupada<\/p>\n

Please forgive me for not speaking more directly of Prabhupada. This is all I have. It may be like reading a menu rather than giving you the feast. However, I am trying, and only by this way can I get closer. When I walk and talk with Srila Prabhupada, I feel that I am with him. It is real, this presence. It is not tangible in the sense that you can touch it or say, “There, I just saw a vision of Prabhupada. He was standing in the forest wearing a saffron coat.” Or, “I suddenly heard his voice saying, ‘Go on, you are doing very nicely.'” Or, “He just said, ‘You rascal!” Or, \u201cI suddenly smelled the aroma of his body\u2014sandalwood, mustard oil and roses.\u201d Or, “I suddenly felt something within myself and tears flowed and I cried out, ‘Prabhupada!'” I am not deriding such intense encounters, but I am saying the subtle, intangible presence is also worthwhile. When I come back from a walk I do not ask, “Was Prabhupada here? Did I meet him?” I am sure I did.<\/p>\n

We can talk to him. “Prabhupada, do you hear those birds? I do not know their names, but it is so nice to hear the birds sing in the morning. It is so nice to be in the country where practically the only sounds are those of nature. I know, Prabhupada, that you deplore the industry in the city, although we should be there for preaching. Prabhupada, is it like this in Vrndavana?”<\/p>\n

We ask him our foolish questions. Even when it is we who do the talking, we feel him in the things that Prabhupada has said. If we become enamored with nature, he may rein us in saying, “This is the material world, it is only the mode of goodness.” If we ask him what it is like in Vrndavana, he may tell us that our question is premature. In every case, we feel him with us, despite our unworthiness.<\/p>\n

“Prabhupada, I feel joyful to hear the birds in the forest, and I want to share that with you. The joy I feel on a nature walk leads me to the joy of you in my life. It is because of you that I am not cheated and that simple joys have meaning. Only because of you do I connect things to Krsna. I want to thank you and share it with you.”<\/p>\n

January 16<\/p>\n

<\/b>Immortal Prabhupada<\/p>\n

We should not think that we are better than Prabhupada because he has passed on and we are still living in this “wonderful” world. It is not that Prabhupada is now among the unfortunate dead and we are living. The whole basis of connection with Prabhupada is that we are all eternal. Socrates said that the soul is immortal, and he chided his disciples for thinking otherwise about him. If we want to be with Prabhupada, we must have faith that he is not dead. He is eternal. He is preaching somewhere, and we will also always be preaching somewhere. Otherwise, what is the meaning of being his follower? Prabhupada has gone ahead of us, and we are following. In the old days, people would go ahead of their families and leave Europe for America. Their families would join them later after everything had been prepared. So Srila Prabhupada has gone ahead, leaving us memories and solid teachings for our lives. If we cannot complete our progress in one lifetime, we will continue in the next. Wherever we go, we want to make further progress with Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

January 17, 2016<\/p>\n

<\/b>Staying in Love<\/p>\n

Turn to Prabhupada. What do I mean by that? You are facing in one direction and you hear a sound, or your mind tells you that you want to look in another direction. Physically, you move your neck and head in order to see the desired object, or you may turn your whole body. At least you turn your attention.<\/p>\n

When we turn to Prabhupada, what do we see? Like dawn, at first we do not see much. We strain our eyes and wait as outlines start to become clear. We see the peaks of hills and can clearly distinguish the horizon. The sun is not up yet, but we desire to be with Prabhupada\u2014so we talk of him.<\/p>\n

Way off in the mind’s eye, we see him going out on another walk, and we run to catch up. Abstractly, but in truth, we think of how our lives have been made fortunate by meeting a great devotee of the Lord. He gives us salvation and turns us to the next life without so much fear. As Christ says, “To those who are given, more is expected.” Because we have been given his association, there is an obligation. This is guru-daksina.<\/i><\/p>\n

People who have a relationship bound in love are obliged to continue it. One reason relationships diminish is that people do not communicate. The same thing can happen in the guru-disciple relationship. One can continue to perform the rituals but lose the sense of being in love. When the guru-disciple relationship begins, it is romantic. One is swept off one’s feet in adoration. You promise to give everything. However, we have to learn how to stay in love with Srila Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

We do not think of Prabhupada as similar to Yamaraja. He is not someone who is going to smash us. We feel assured that he loves us even though we can do only insignificant service, and we have many faults. He has a right to reprimand us, and that is also part of love. When reprimands come, we go on serving and loving. We take it on our heads for our wrongs. We have faith that he is always trying to help us. Prabhupada says, “I will take care of you. I can bring you back to Godhead if you follow.”<\/p>\n

Sometimes in his lectures, Prabhupada said, “These disciples are working twenty-four hours a day, and why? Out of love.” He reminded us that he saw our loving attitude toward him. It was not forced, he did not bribe us. It was not fear. It was love. Now, how to stay in love? By Prabhupada meditation and by right acts, we are trying to stay in love. In the relationship between the servant of God and the Supreme Lord, obedience is one of the first requirements. A disciple has to be obedient, and that must be given freely, from one’s entire self. This is the obligation of the eternal disciple. He humbly knows that he is always in need of instructions. He keeps trying to please Prabhupada and asking for mercy.<\/p>\n

January 18
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\nTouched by His Greatness<\/p>\n

Do not forget that Prabhupada is your master. Never be condescending in your praise or estimation of him. As disciples, we worship our guru with affection as well as with objective evidence of his greatness. We also have to be regularly touched by his greatness. <\/p>\n

In describing Prahlada Maharaja’s prayers to Lord Nrsimhadeva, Prabhupada asserts that Prahlada was able to please Lord Nrsimhadeva even though others, great demigods and even Laksmidevi herself, could not. What was Prahlada’s quality that so attracted the Lord? Prabhupada goes right to the heart of it sweetly and simply, entering the mentality of Prahlada Maharaja and explaining it to us. <\/p>\n

A great teacher is one who can convey tremendous thoughts and experiences to the students. It is one thing to feel something, and it is an added empowerment to convey it to others. That teaching ability arises from compassion and empathy. Prabhupada was able to grasp the whole relationship of Prahlada Maharaja and Nrsimhadeva and give it to an audience\u2014not of great scholars or long-time practicing sadhus<\/i>\u2014but to ordinary persons. He stressed the simplicity of Prahlada Maharaja’s approach: in a childlike way, he prostrated himself before Nrsimhadeva.<\/p>\n

According to Prabhupada, Nrsimhadeva said to Prahlada, “It must have been very difficult for you to be tortured by your father, and then to witness his killing. Do not worry, do not be afraid. Now be pacified. I am here and you are all right, everything is all right.” When Prabhupada says, “Everything is all right,” I remember how he had said that to me and to others at different times. He is our Lord Nrsimha-protector.<\/p>\n

Simple devotion to the Lord is what pleases Him. Prabhupada did not analyze the topic with very intricate scholarship. He did examine the Sanskrit words for us, but mainly he said, “Krsna is not unfeeling, He is not impersonal. He responds to your devotion.” <\/p>\n

January 19, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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Honoring Prasadam<\/i> <\/p>\n

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The way he taught in his Prospectus written in the 1950s for the League of Devotees, Swamiji gave prominent mention to prasadam<\/i>. He invited members to live with him in the asrama<\/i>, and he advertised the daily schedule. There were many times during the day when prasadam<\/i> was served. The menu was described exactly. By studying that daily schedule, one can understand that prasadam<\/i> is like attending arotikas<\/i>, bhajanas<\/i>, or Bhagavatam<\/i> readings. Prasadam<\/i> was not a material break in a spiritual day. It was another full-fledged, spiritual activity \u2013 a devotee was either chanting, or working, or honoring prasadam<\/i>.<\/p>\n

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Prasadam<\/i> works. It makes you feel satisfied and free of sex agitation. Everything seems nice. You don\u2019t want to argue with people. Prasadam<\/i> helps to heal the ailing self. The atma<\/i> is not only the soul; it is the mind, body and self. All of these will be satisfied by eating prasadam<\/i>.<\/p>\n

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When you honor prasadam<\/i>, the body says, \u201cI like Krishna consciousness.\u201d The mind says, \u201cI like it too, I am not agitated any more.\u201d The self exclaims, \u201cThis prasadam<\/i> was offered to Krishna. Swamiji says it is not ordinary food.\u201d Prasadam<\/i> is an item of faith, a sacrament.<\/p>\n

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Recently I heard a devotee say we should \u201chonor prasadam <\/i>and not just eat it.\u201d I knew what he meant by that. Yet eating in Krishna consciousness has always been celebrated as a way to share love and togetherness. Rupa Gosvami even mentions these two forms of loving exchange among devotees: \u201cTo accept prasadam<\/i> and to offer it to others.\u201d A spiritual family eats together in the spirit that Swamiji showed us. Although it is true that we should not eat in the mood of sense gratification and indulgence, the loving exchanges of eating in good company brings us into Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

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Devotees can sit and take prasadam<\/i> together in spiritual communion. If you do not have the fortune of having Swamiji in your midst, you can bring him into your midst by meditation. Before we eat, we offer the food with prayers. We can also converse with Prabhupada in our minds, \u201cPrabhupada, please take this prasadam<\/i>. They have given it to me, but I am bringing it to you, just as we used to bring you prasadam<\/i>. Please take it.\u201d By meditation, you can offer your food to Prabhupada. He can be with you, and he can take prasadam<\/i> with you. Anything is possible. It depends on your purity.<\/p>\n

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January 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Do It For Him<\/p>\n

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It is reassuring to take stock of the fact that we follow Prabhupada in almost everything we do. Often we feel bereft of love for Prabhupada, and we think that we are distant from him. However, if you take inventory, you will see that you are always doing what he wanted you to do. <\/p>\n

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I do not wear sannyasi<\/i> clothes because it is my destiny to be a Vaisnava monk; I do it because he introduced it. When I think like this, it gives me assurance that I am completely immersed in Prabhupada consciousness. Even me, a laggard who does not fulfill front-line duties, who fails in many ways to cooperate with devotees \u2013 even I am following Prabhupada in general, and in the particulars, with devotion.<\/p>\n

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Chant your rounds, read his books, do your preaching service, whatever it may be; do things the way he wanted them done. With the instinct of a well-trained person, you act the way Prabhupada taught you. To give a crude example, consider the way a jet pilot moves in the cockpit. He does not expressly think, \u201cNow I am going to pull this switch and that lever to make the plane take off and veer to the left.\u201d He does not have to think so specifically about what he is doing because he has experience. We also have experience and should be guided by Prabhupada\u2019s vani<\/i>. Whatever comes up in our lives, we simply act according to Prabhupada\u2019s instructions. <\/p>\n

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If someone asks us, we may verbalize the source of the instruction. Usually, we do not have to verbalize it \u2013 you see something and you do it the way Prabhupada did it, because you see the wisdom of his ways.<\/p>\n

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You use the tongue scraper the way he does, you sit on a toilet crouched with the soles of the feet on the seat like an Oriental, not the way the Westerners do. You eat food only that is offered to Krishna. In order to offer the food, you say prayers to Srila Prabhupada three times and ask him to accept it with devotion, so that the food can be offered to the Deity. You read the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. Whatever you do, you are always thinking, \u201cHow is this service to Srila Prabhupada?\u201d If it is something he did not explicitly teach, how can it be accepted as an innovative form within the mainstream of Prabhupada teachings? If there is anything we do that is not given by him, we must deliberate whether it is acceptable. By taking inventory of our actions, we want to conclude that we are doing everything for him. <\/p>\n

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January 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Correspondence with Bon Maharaja<\/p>\n

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January 21, 1966<\/p>\n

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He received Bon Maharaja\u2019s reply. Two weeks before, Prabhupada had written to his godbrother, the Director of the Institute of Oriental Philosophy in Vrindavana, that he had found a place for a temple in New York and that he wanted to install deities of Radha and Krishna. In his reply, Bon Maharaja quoted price estimates for fourteen-inch brass deities of Radha-Krishna, but he also warned that to begin deity worship would be a heavy responsibility. Srila Prabhupada responded: <\/p>\n

I think that after the temple has started, some men, even from America, may be available, as I have seen they have at the Ramakrishna Mission, as well as in so<\/p>\n

many Yoga societies. So I am trying to open a temple here because Srila <\/p>\n

Prabhupada (Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati) wanted it. <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada also requested Bon Maharaja\u2019s assistance in getting the Government to sanction release of the money he felt Padampat Singhania would donate. He mentioned that he had carried on an extensive personal correspondence with the Vice-President of India, Dr. Radhakrishnan, who was also know to Bon Maharaja.<\/p>\n

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Tell him that it is not an ordinary temple of worship, but an international institution for God consciousness based on the Srimad-Bhagavatam.<\/i><\/p>\n

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January 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Snowstorm in New York City<\/p>\n

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January 22, 1966<\/p>\n

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While Srila Prabhupada prayed to receive Radha-Krishna in New York, a snowstorm hit the City. That morning, Srila Prabhupada, who had perhaps never before seen snow, woke and thought that someone had whitewashed the side of the building next door. Not until he went outside did he discover it was snow. The temperature was ten degrees. <\/p>\n

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The City went into a state of emergency, but Prabhupada continued his daily walks. Now he had to walk through heavy snow, only a thin dhoti<\/i> beneath his overcoat, his head covered with his \u201cswami hat.\u201d The main roads were cleared, but many sidewalks were covered with snow. Along the strip of park dividing Broadway, the gusting winds piled snowbanks to shoulder height and buried the benches. The Broadway kiosks, plastered with layers of posters and notices, were now plastered with additional layers of snow and ice. But despite the weather, New Yorkers still walked their dogs, the pets now wearing raincoats and mackinaws. Such pampering by American dog owners left Prabhupada with a feeling of surprised amusement. As he approached West End Avenue, he found the doormen blowing whistles to signal taxis as usual, but also scattering salt to melt the ice and create safe sidewalks in front of the buildings. In Riverside Park, the benches, pathways and trees were glazed with ice and gave off a shimmering reflection from the sky. <\/p>\n

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In the news, Selective Service officials announced the first substantial increase in the draft since the Korean war; a month-long peace ended with the U.S. Air Force bombing North Viet Nam; the New York transit strike ended after three weeks, and the transit Labor leader died in jail of a heart attack. <\/p>\n

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January 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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From Purport to Purport<\/p>\n

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Srila Prabhupada\u2019s Bhagavatam<\/i> purports sometimes shift from one topic to another. For example, in his purport to Bhagavatam<\/i> 10.1.17, we read that at one time the world was overburdened with demoniac kings who were harassing the people. The verse and purport are relevant to modern politics, where every nation is trying to build up its military power. Then in the next verse, we hear that Lord Brahma went with the demigods to the shore of the milk ocean and recited the Purusa-sukta <\/i>prayers. Brahma received a direct message back from Lord Visnu. In that purport, Prabhupada writes mystically that you may get a direct message from Krishna when you meditate on Him. He says that this can be done even today, and he gives the example of how subtle communications go by television and other methods. <\/p>\n

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When reading Prabhupada purports, we should be patient and happy to follow Prabhupada as he goes from one topic to another. Gradually, we may begin to understand, that for Prabhupada, Krishna is present everywhere, and the jurisdiction of Krishna consciousness is everywhere. If Prabhupada turns his attention to the world\u2019s political situation with thoughts of lamentation or anger, that is Krishna consciousness. When he turns directly to Krishna and forgets this world, that is also Krishna consciousness. As Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, \u201cFor one who sees Me everywhere, I am never lost and he is never lost to Me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We should move with Prabhupada in his Bhaktivedanta purports from one topic to another. With each purport, he gives all that the previous acaryas<\/i> have said, and he reflects on it based on his own experience. If we read Prabhupada with at least a little understanding of how he composed his purports, one after another, then we, too, will begin to see Krishna everywhere. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Expressions<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Recently an initiated devotee, who has broken his connection with ISKCON, made some sharp criticisms against what he called \u201cISKCON-speak,\u201d the jargon used among devotees. He made a list of jargon words and said they should all be thrown out. This critic of \u201cISKCON-speak\u201d traced many of the \u201cfaulty\u201d expressions to the fact that while Srila Prabhupada spoke English as a second language and his expressions were fine for him<\/i>, they are unfit for those who speak American or English as a mother tongue. I looked over the critic\u2019s list and agreed with some of his choices, although I could not see how he managed to get rid of habitual expressions, such as \u201ctake rest,\u201d \u201cfoodstuffs,\u201d \u201ctake prasadam<\/i>,\u201d and the pronunciation of the word \u201cde-vo-<\/i>tee.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We should not feel guilty if newcomers hear Prabhupada\u2019s followers use many curious expressions not usually heard in the English language; there is jargon in every profession and subculture. Americans are notorious for using bloated language to cover the direct energy of their speech and to unnecessarily complicate it. Jazz musicians think they are speaking naturally; so do construction workers. One person\u2019s idea of unencumbered speech is another person\u2019s version of artificial talk; often one group can hardly understand another.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is possible to simultaneously cherish Prabhupada idioms while avoiding some of them in our lecturing and speaking. Some expressions were used by Prabhupada in a particular way, but are grammatically incorrect or archaic. Yet some devotees may see any criticism of ISKCON jargon as insulting to Srila Prabhupada when it is done in a cold-hearted way, without understanding the attachment we have for His Divine Grace and the way he speaks.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The solution to such perceived language misuse is not to eliminate strong teachings of surrender; neither will eliminating the strong preaching spirit help. We have to be sensitive and non-hypocritical. We should be \u201ccontext sensitive,\u201d speaking with awareness of time, place and persons. On the other hand, if we use ISKCON-speak in a way that is insensitive or unthinking, we may become offensive to our fellow devotees. Hackneyed speech can become a hackneyed way of thinking. We then fall into a habit of speaking without expressing our feelings or realization. We speak \u201cthe party line.\u201d If I try to manipulate a fellow devotee by speaking officialese, it is offensive to the devotee and to the philosophy which I claim to represent. Devotees are repelled when they hear another devotee rattle off words which demand obedience and surrender to the highest ideal, although the speaker of those words is himself not following them. \u201cDon\u2019t be on the mental plain, prabhu. Prabhupada wants us to cooperate. Therefore, you should do what I say.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s face it, we do use language in a special way in ISKCON, and it is not all bad. Many of the words we use are the best translations of Sanskrit terms. Prabhupada translated words such as \u201caparadha<\/i>\u201d into \u201coffense,\u201d and \u201cBhagavan\u201d into \u201cthe Supreme Personality of Godhead.\u201d We could change these terms into some other ones, but we feel safe that Prabhupada has put his unique realization into the translations. Prabhupada writes in one purport that we are more interested in the techniques of bhakti-yoga<\/i> than in the language itself. In the name of purifying language, a pedant might remove the realization. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Appreciating the Mahatma<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lord Krishna defines mahatma<\/i> as one who is under the protection of the Divine nature. He is fully engaged in devotional service because he knows Krishna as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. The mahatma<\/i> is always engaged in chanting the glories of Krishna and worshiping Him with determination. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada warned that persons who claim to be God, or to be mahatmas<\/i>, \u201care not mahatma.<\/i>\u201d Rather they are duratma, \u201ccrooked.<\/i>\u201d Yet Prabhupada said it is not difficult to become a Krishna conscious mahatma<\/i>; all one has to do is follow what Krishna says. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is difficult to actually find a mahatma<\/i> living in this world. This is Krishna\u2019s opinion: v\u0101sudeva\u1e25<\/i><\/strong>sarvam<\/i><\/strong>iti \/ <\/i><\/strong>sa mah\u0101tm\u0101 sudurlabha\u1e25.<\/i> Therefore let us appreciate how rare Srila Prabhupada is, even by material calculation, Indian sannyasis<\/i> were scarce in America in the 1960s. Vaisnava sannyasis<\/i> were extremely rare. Yet the true rarity of Srila Prabhupada is that he is a pure devotee of Krishna. He left Vrindavana to give Krishna to others. That makes Prabhupada one among millions.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Prabhupada came to America, Westerners were groping for consciousness expansion. We did not find what we wanted in LSD, or in friendship, in art, or music. We were being dragged toward a cliff to be plunged into death and rebirth. We are very fortunate to have met the pure devotee. Once, before I met Prabhupada, I shared an LSD trip with my friend Murray. I remembered his conclusion that night \u2013 \u201cLife is cheap.\u201d I liked to think that life was rare and valuable, but Murray\u2019s vision seemed realistic and in tune with what was actually happening in New York City. Life is cheap. You can buy and sell it if you have money, or sex appeal, or power. Life is cheap because the \u201cpowers that be\u201d can snuff it out in a minute.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Therefore, I joined the multitudes thankful to the mahatma<\/i>, Srila Prabhupada, for making our lives valuable. He upgraded our lives in a way that we could never have done on our own. We thank him for being who he is; for being so rare. \u201cSa mah\u0101tm\u0101<\/i>sudurlabha\u1e25.<\/i>\u201d The mahatma\u2019s<\/i> heart is expanded to help everyone, and our gratitude should be expressed by helping him in his cause. Although we were not qualified, Krishna within our hearts told us, \u201cGo ahead and hear from the Swami. Do as he says, chant Hare Krishna.\u201d It is Krishna who allows one to repeatedly hear and gradually take that opportunity. <\/strong> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I thank Srila Prabhupada for being who he was. We were not expecting an elderly person to come into our lives; we were not expecting a guru. Prabhupada, however, satisfied us because he was who he was. He was better than anyone we could imagine \u2013 golden in complexion, elderly, dressed in sannyasi<\/i> robes. Everything about him was attractive to us, and by Krishna\u2019s grace, his path was easy to take.<\/p>\n

January 26, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Heart<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The gift of an artist is his ability to feel something with love and then convey it in an interesting way. The art should infect others with the exact same sentiment that the artist felt. A God-conscious teacher is able to do that, too. He has love of God, and he has the gift of conveying it. It was Lord Caitanya\u2019s desire to convey Krishna-prema<\/i> by chanting Hare Krishna. Prabhupada was empowered to do that \u2013 to chant Hare Krishna and to explain Hare Krishna. He was generous in interspersing his basic Krishna conscious talks with direct introductions into the topmost sphere of Goloka Vrindavana. Furthermore, he did it in plain language. Goloka Vrindavana is itself down-to-earth. The earth is cintamani<\/i>, but nevertheless, it is earthy. It is not like Vaikuntha, with emphasis on the celestial. Vrindavana\u2019s emphasis is on the humanlike. When Prabhupada talked about Krishna-loka, he did it like that, speaking as a resident and telling us what it was really like. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 27, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Gave At All Levels<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The mixture of basic and advanced Krishna consciousness appears constantly in Prabhupada\u2019s purports. In his Bhagavatam<\/i> purports, he does not always stick to a storyline. In his explanation of the verses, he feels free to lecture in each particular purport, expanding on the themes in different directions. There may be occasion when one wants to read only the verses as translated by Prabhupada or his followers, in order to get more involved in the story flow. However, we should never think that a careful study of the Bhaktivedanta purports may be avoided or skipped over in our reading of the Bhagavatam<\/i>. Rather, the more we study the purports, the more we will appreciate Prabhupada\u2019s relationship with Krishna. As Prabhupadanugas, we want to understand Prabhupada\u2019s Krishna consciousness as much as we can. This will help us to understand our own relationship with Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 28, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Wealth of Prabhupada\u2019s Lectures<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A devotee can sustain his spiritual life by hearing Prabhupada\u2019s lectures. They are not intended as background noise. We should listen to Prabhupada lecture tapes with the same attention we would have if Prabhupada were personally in the room. To ignore Prabhupada is an offense. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There are always times throughout the day when we can listen to at least part of a lecture. In the old Christian monasteries, the monks used to observe silence while they ate, while one monk read aloud from the scriptures. In one monastic refectory, I saw a sign over the door, \u201cMan lives not by bread alone, but by every word that issues from the mouth of God.\u201d We can also honor prasadam,<\/i> while hearing the scriptures directly from Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A spoken lecture is an important medium for the Vaisnava acarya<\/i>. Speaking Vedic truth requires specific, special qualification. The more purely the message is spoken, the more potent the result. For example, unless one has memorized and assimilated Sanskrit slokas<\/i>, he cannot cross-reference and prove his points. And for the audience, what strength is available by hearing transcendental sound vibration from a realized devotee! He calls to us with his knowledge and realization of the scriptures, and our souls respond, leaving the critical mind and sleepy body behind. Transcendental sound cuts through matter. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lecturing is ultimate communication. When Prabhupada says, \u201cKrishna cannot be served with matter; He has to be served with spirit,\u201d Prabhupada did feel the weight of his own words. He wanted to convey the import. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Psychologists inform us that it is important to communicate if one wants to develop personal relationships. Dialogue is necessary in order to keep love alive. Unfortunately, most people don\u2019t know what to say to each other in order to have a loving relationship. And of course, they cannot grant each other eternity, bliss and knowledge. Ultimate communication takes place between Krishna and the soul hankering to recapture his relationship with Krishna. When the jiva<\/i> is awakened by hearing, then he can begin to serve God. Further communication can then take place. This is called bhakti<\/i>. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 29, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna\u2019s Great Orator<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada was a dramatic orator, a real communicator. He communicated on Krishna\u2019s behalf as the medium for Krishna\u2019s love to the conditioned souls who had not yet developed their desire to go back to Krishna. His voice was tempered and his points balanced, yet his lectures were powerful. They were quite different from his ordinary speech. His lectures were full of feeling \u2013 strong, loud reprimands of the non devotee, and soft, loving expressions of bhakti<\/i>. His voice rose and fell in sonorous tones. \u201cYou cannot understand Krishna with these blunt senses,\u201d he said, and his voice keyed, both to his audience and to his own sense of delivering the message. He spoke from the heart. He spoke to wake us up.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada lectured mainly from the Bhagavatam<\/i> and the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. He didn\u2019t title his lectures, and they didn\u2019t have a specific subject, other than a commentary on a particular verse he was speaking on. He took advantage of the wealth of material in the Vedic scriptures and taught us to lecture. Prabhupada had to lecture frequently, but he had such a great command of the Vedic scriptures that he was free to speak on a wide variety of topics within the realm of Krishna consciousness. We should try to follow his example. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 30, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The East Snowstorm<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 30, 1966 <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The East Coast was hit by severe blizzards, seven inches of snow fell on the City, with winds up to fifty miles an hour. The City of New York offered warm rooms and meals for people living in tenements without heat. JFK Airport was closed, as were train lines and roadways into the City. For the second time within eight days, a state of emergency was declared because of snow. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As a lone individual, Srila Prabhupada could not do anything about the snow emergency, or the international warfare \u2013 he saw these as more symptoms of the age of Kali. Always there would be misery in the material world. But if he could bring Radha and Krishna to a building in New York … nothing was impossible for the Supreme Lord. Even in the midst of Kali-yuga, a golden age could appear, and people could get relief. If Americans could take to Krishna consciousness, the whole world would follow. Seeing through the eyes of the scriptures, Srila Prabhupada pushed on through the blizzard and pursued the thin trail for support for his Krishna conscious mission.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

January 31, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Appreciating His Teachings<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada can mediate between Krishna and the individual soul. For example, he explains how we can offer Krishna whatever we eat, and how the main ingredient in our offering is our devotion. Prabhupada comments, \u201cIf you offer something to Krishna: \u2018Krishna, I have brought a very palatable dish for You to eat\u2019 \u2013 no, Krishna will not take it. N\u0101ha\u1e41<\/i><\/strong>prak\u0101\u015ba\u1e25<\/i><\/strong>sarvasya<\/i><\/strong>yoga-m\u0101y\u0101-sam\u0101v\u1e5bta\u1e25<\/i>. He is not exposed to everyone.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There are different levels of understanding Prabhupada\u2019s teachings. A newcomer will be amazed that Krishna will accept offerings of food. Someone who has been hearing and serving Prabhupada for more years will hear with added depth and richness. Such a person is trained to hear and consider more the subtleties of the philosophy. For example, Prabhupada quoted the verse \u201cn\u0101ha\u1e41<\/i><\/strong>prak\u0101\u015ba\u1e25\u201d<\/i> in the context of offering food to Krishna. The n\u0101ha\u1e41<\/i><\/strong>prak\u0101\u015ba\u1e25<\/i><\/strong>verse tells us that Krishna places a curtain of maya<\/i> between Himself and foolish persons. To quote that verse immediately after saying that Krishna accepts offerings made in devotion, produces an interesting contrast. Prabhupada\u2019s point is that if we try to give Krishna something materially opulent to impress us, He will not accept it, because n\u0101ha\u1e41<\/i><\/strong>prak\u0101\u015ba\u1e25<\/i><\/strong>sarvasya<\/i><\/strong>\u2013 <\/b>Krishna puts a barrier between Himself and such fools.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Often when Prabhupada quotes the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, he spontaneously gives a translation which is not at all literal, but interpretative. It is a kind of combined purport and translation. These little purport-translations vary from one lecture to the next and we can appreciate them as added nectar. Problems and anarthas<\/i> in our devotional service can easily be solved when we carefully hear how Prabhupada attacks those problems. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

February 1, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We are Especially Following Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We are especially following Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada exposed material life as a defeat. People think they will obtain happiness by sense gratification, but in the end, they are only frustrated. Prabhupada taught this repeatedly because the struggle for happiness is so pervasive among the people of the world. Although most people concentrate on money-making as their goal, Prabhupada instructs them, \u201cNo, that cannot make you happy.\u201d He also tells us not to seek liberation from material life. One might ask, \u201cNeither sense gratification nor renunciation \u2013 what\u2019s left?\u201d Srila Prabhupada teaches that the goal of life is service to Krishna, bhakti yoga<\/i>. This is the message of the six Gosvamis, Lord Caitanya, and Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. Prabhupada preached it and we are following him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Often, our appreciation of Prabhupada is based on appreciation of the Vedic truths. One may say that Prabhupada\u2019s teachings are just those of a typical Vaisnava sannyasi<\/i>. By glorifying Prabhupada, all we are doing is appreciating Lord Krishna in Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. Srila Prabhupada would appreciate that estimation of himself. In fact, that\u2019s how he wanted us to appreciate him \u2013 as one who delivered Krishna\u2019s message unchanged.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One may also say, \u201cYou claim that your spiritual master is special for teaching Krishna consciousness, but all he is doing is presenting the Vaisnava tradition. Why do you focus on him so completely? Don\u2019t you think that is naive?\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But we heard from Srila Prabhupada. He is not just an ordinary speaker. He was a vigorous preacher who created the Krishna consciousness revolution around the world. It is only natural that we repeat what we have learned and heard from him, and natural that we express our gratitude to him. We note his preaching methods. He knew how to preach to us; therefore, we are especially eager to listen to him. Within the tradition of Vaisnava preachers, we are indebted to him. The Vaisnava conclusion states that one cannot directly hear from Krishna; one has to hear from Krishna\u2019s representative. Prabhupada is that representative for us.<\/p>\n

February 2, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Uniqueness<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As we hear from Prabhupada, we also begin to recognize other preachers and ways of presenting the parampara<\/i>, although no one knows as much about Krishna as Prabhupada, or teaches Vaisnava philosophy in exactly the same way. There are other Vaisnavas and other ways that present the same conclusion, but this does not diminish our desire to hear directly from Prabhupada. Our equating Krishna consciousness with His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is not accidental; we deliberately cultivate this loyalty on the advice of the sastras<\/i>. Unless we please our spiritual master, Krishna will not be pleased with us. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The personal presence of the spiritual master is necessary to enforce some of the more difficult injunctions of Vaisnava tradition. For example, Prabhupada came to America and taught that sex life should be restricted. He told us right from the beginning that our Western emphasis on sex would be very detrimental to our spiritual lives. One should restrict it. If possible, one should give it up entirely. Some devotees mentioned to Prabhupada that these restrictions would be difficult for Americans to accept. Prabhupada replied, \u201cI cannot change the philosophy to suit the Americans.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His teaching, of course, goes completely against the Hedonists\u2019 claims that unless we enjoy sex, we will be frustrated and repressed. How could the devotees in Krishna consciousness adopt such a \u201cmad attempt\u201d unless Srila Prabhupada was personally behind us?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Without compromise, Prabhupada continues to guide us. He speaks plainly in his books and lectures: \u201cIf you want Krishna, you have to give up illicit sex desire.\u201d Sex is a natural drive that can be used in Krishna\u2019s service. Sex is not easy to give up in any asrama<\/i>, but if we want to follow Prabhupada, we have to do what he says.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As we struggle to surrender, we certainly need to focus on the personal inspiration given to us by our spiritual master. We know he teaches from the sastra,<\/i> but we also know that he follows the sastra<\/i> himself. Because we are personally indebted to him, we want to please him by following the Vedic truths. Allowing the spiritual master to exert such control in our lives, even to the point of controlling our sex pleasure, will make us submissive to him. We come to identify ourselves as his followers. This will bring us the actual confirmation and reciprocation from him that we are seeking.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna\u2019s Dutiful Preacher<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was not a rebel-rouser. He didn\u2019t get any particular joy out of people trying to harass; he simply knew that he had to preach seriously and accept the consequences from the materialists who became disturbed. And of course, he pointed to the long tradition of Vaisnavas who were grateful for all troubles that came as a result of their preaching. They knew it was bringing them closer to Krishna and accepted it as proof that their preaching was effective. Prabhupada sometimes gave the example of Jesus Christ on this point of opposition. He called it \u201cthe favorite example,\u201d that Jesus was willing to disturb people, even at the risk of his life. But he also spoke of those in the Vedic tradition \u2013 Lord Nityananda, Haridasa Thakura, and many others \u2013 who were willing to give up their lives for the cause of spreading Krishna consciousness. Prabhupada was in the same mood.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Letter to Tirtha Maharaja<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 4, 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He wrote again to Tirtha Maharaja, who had agreed to try for the government sanction if he first received written confirmation from a responsible donor pledging the funds for a temple. Prabhupada informed him that the donor would be Sri Badampat Singhania, and he enclosed Mr. Singhania\u2019s favorable letter of the fourteenth. Prabhupada reminded his godbrother:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

“Srila Prabhupada Bhaktisiddhanta wanted such temples in foreign countries such as New York, London, Tokyo, etc., and I had personal talks with him when I first met him at Ulta Danga in 1922. Now here is a chance for me to carry out his personal order\u2026. I am just seeking your favor and mercy in making this attempt successful.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Discouragement from Singhania<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 5, 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Discouragement came to the plans Prabhupada had formed around the promise of support by Badampat Singhania through Dvaraka-vala, who wrote to express his dissatisfaction with the Seventy-second Street building:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

“I am afraid that I cannot agree with your suggestion that you should buy a small house and erect something on top of it. Unfortunately, such a kind of proposal will not suit me. The temple must be a small one, but it must be constructed properly. I quite agree that you cannot spend a lot of money at present, but within the amount the government may sanction, you should build something according to the architecture of Indian temples. Then only will we be able to create some impression on the American people. This is all that I can write to you in this connection. I am grateful for you taking the trouble of writing me.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada did not take this letter as final. He maintained hope that Sri Badampat Singhania would still give money for the temple, if only the transfer of money could be arranged. He continued writing his godbrothers and other devotees, asking them to try to secure the government sanction. He maintained his same aspirations, even though his sole prospective donor had rejected his scheme of a cakra<\/i> and dome atop a conventional two-storey building. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Intolerance of Maya<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was especially uncompromising in his condemnation of materialistic activities. He used strong language to describe people who are devoid of the inclination for spiritual life, calling them dogs, hogs, camels, and asses. He also referred to them as rascals. He called the leaders of the countries cheaters. He said they were all going to hell for their impious activities. By any standard, this was harsh criticism. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada also protested against the government. He did it in a non sectarian way, favoring neither the communists nor the capitalists. According to the scriptures, he said, any political leader in this age is bound to be the lowest kind of man. And, in a sense, he protested against the material bonds that held families together. When his young disciples joined him, he created friction between ISKCON and the parents of the devotees. The anti-cult movement became prominent and made ISKCON one of its main targets. But Prabhupada was willing to put himself and his followers on the firing line for the sake of spreading Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

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February 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Legacy is One of Disturbing the Sleeping Dogs<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although the old adage tells us to \u201clet sleeping dogs lie,\u201d Prabhupada explains the necessity for waking them up. In his purports to the verse where Krishna tells us not to disturb the minds of the materialists or the ignorant, Krishna advised the devotees to prosecute their duties peacefully, and said they should not feel troubled by persons who have no desire to practice spiritual life. Prabhupada reminds us, \u201cIf you give a good thief instructions, he will just become angry.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna tells us in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> that only persons who are austere can receive the message of Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. In an apparently different mood, Krishna says that whoever distributes the message of Godhead and makes devotees is the dearest servant of the Lord. Prabhupada clears up this apparent contradiction by telling us that the devotees know Krishna\u2019s inner purpose. Although Krishna doesn\u2019t want to trouble His devotees by exposing them to harassment, His deepest desire is that the conditioned souls be given a full chance to take to Krishna consciousness. Actually, they have already had many chances. Krishna Himself has appeared in His many forms, but still the generations of conditioned souls continue to revolve in the cycle of birth and death, refusing to hear the message of Godhead. Krishna wants to give them another chance. Now it is Kali Yuga and the conditions are even more unfavorable for coming to spiritual life. Krishna and the devotees have to be more accessible, the process has to be easier and shorter. Despite Krishna\u2019s merciful holy name, which is the only way in this age to attain God consciousness, the devotees are still harassed. And because of Kali Yuga, people are even more violent in their rebellion against God consciousness. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada knew Krishna\u2019s inner desire. He woke up the sleeping dogs. And he wants us to do the same.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 8, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dissolving the \u201cIllusory Prabhupada\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We have to be patient with ourselves as we serve Prabhupada. It is natural to select certain instructions that we think fit our situations and our personalities. When we try to relate to the spiritual master as preachers, we even encourage newcomers to find something in Prabhupada\u2019s teachings which they can follow wholeheartedly. We just have to be careful not to present a watered down version of what Prabhupada is teaching. Until we are pure, there will always be some trace of compromise in our ability to follow, but we should always seek to increase our surrender and to know internally who our spiritual master is and what he wants from us. Even if there is some trace of illusion in ourselves, ultimately, there is nothing illusory about Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A duality can sometimes exist between Prabhupada as he is and one\u2019s conception of Prabhupada as we want him to be. (There are many \u201cPrabhupada saids\u201d floating around our movement \u2013 how often do we hear \u201cPrabhupada said\u201d offered by someone trying to end an argument?) Therefore, it is good for us to expose ourselves to the \u201creal\u201d Prabhupada as he wrote letters to people, as long as we carefully understand the context from which he is speaking. Exposing ourselves to Prabhupada\u2019s books and letters replaces any imagined idea of Prabhupada with the real person. A search for the real Prabhupada has to be in a sensitive and ongoing way.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We should not be afraid of the possibility that we have created an \u201cillusory Prabhupada\u201d within our minds. It\u2019s not like the \u201cillusory Vasudeva\u201d which the demon Salva created to dishearten Krishna on the battlefield. Salva said, \u201cKrishna, I have Your father here, and I\u2019m going to cut off his head. There\u2019s nothing You can do about it.\u201d Salva then cut off the head of his mystic illusion. When Krishna saw it, He appeared to be unhappy for a moment. But since Krishna is never overcome by illusion, He then grew more determined to fight. Any service to Prabhupada is valid. If we are determined, we will gradually work out our misconceptions of Prabhupada. We are never cut off from the mercy.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Prabhupada we worship and who appeals to us is our inspiration for devotional service. Salva used the \u201cillusory Vasudeva\u201d in an attempt to harm Krishna. But if we worship Prabhupada, we will always be benefited. With confidence in Prabhupada\u2019s mercy, we can strive to cut away too much compromise in our service and to respond to Prabhupada as he is.<\/p>\n

February 9, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Hearing from Srila Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We are reading in Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i> how Srila Prabhupada met with his guru only a few times, but every meeting he did have with him was of great significance to Srila Prabhupada. The first time they met on the roof in Ultadanga, in Calcutta, Prabhupada was impressed. His whole life was changed. They met again at Kosi in Vrindavan. At that time, Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati noted that Prabhupada was hearing very attentively. Then they had other meetings, including one at Radha-kunda, where his guru maharaj told him, \u201cIf you ever get money, print books.\u201d Prabhupada is the perfect example of one who made the utmost of his meetings with his spiritual master. There were no tape recorders in those days (although there were books). A meeting was very important to Prabhupada, as well as his letter exchanges with Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We can also meet Srila Prabhupada, even now, by hearing from him in an open and loving way. The receptive disciple is compared to a fertile woman becoming pregnant by her association with her husband. The spiritual master can impregnate the receptive soul with bhakti-lata-bija<\/i>, the seed of devotion. Individual speaking and meeting can have such an effect.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 10, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Preferences<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is a person. Like anyone, he likes his prasadam<\/i> in a certain way and expressed his preferences about various things. We may wonder, are Prabhupada\u2019s preferences absolute? Does his expression of personal preferences make him a relative person? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The pure devotee gives us so many details about Krishna and the process of devotional service. He tells us what Krishna likes to eat, and what He doesn\u2019t like to eat; he tells us how to behave under all circumstances, and how to think. The pure devotee spiritual master represents Krishna absolutely; therefore, do we have a right to look into the pure devotee\u2019s life and that everything be governed completely by Krishna\u2019s indications? If we can detect in his life any personal preference for doing something just because \u201cI like it,\u201d is that a defect in the pure devotee? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But the pure devotee is a person. Like any person, he will have personal preferences. What we notice if we minutely examine the life of a pure devotee is that all of his preferences are favorable to devotional service. They are each individual expressions of his meditation on, and service to, Krishna. This may not always be comprehensible when we examine the pure devotee without the requisite faith. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There are nine principles of devotional service. If a devotee chooses mainly to hear about Krishna, or only to chant, we cannot accuse him of whimsical behaviour. There are also five primary rasas<\/i> of a devotee in a liberated state to serve Krishna in a particular way according to his realization of his relationship with Krishna. Rather than consider this fact whimsical, we should understand that these preferences are the perfection of devotional development.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 11, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Combination of Friendliness and Heaviness<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Was Prabhupada friendly? Yes, of course. No one could say he was unfriendly or unconcerned. But Prabhupada was friendly even to those he never met. He was friendly to all living entities because he distributed Krishna consciousness. He gave his life to distribute Krishna consciousness to others. Prabhupada was friendly in the deepest sense. He came to the world a true friend of everyone because he had something which would be of great benefit to whoever accepted it. He didn\u2019t have the kind of friendliness that we associate with \u201cservice with a smile,\u201d commercialized cheater \u2013 the kind of friendliness you get on the airlines from the stewardesses who help you \u201cfly the friendly skies.\u201d Prabhupada was sometimes very heavy. It is incomprehensible, his friendliness. He worked for everyone\u2019s benefit and that often meant knocking down their illusions and shaking them out of their foolishness. Yes, Prabhupada was friendly.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Yet, Prabhupada was often heavy, and for a good reason. He understood devotion to Krishna and wanted to expose the many nonsense frauds, incarnations, scholars and prakrta-sahajiyas<\/i>, and any other pretentious people. He was a great devotee of Krishna who wholeheartedly embraced love of God. We should never allow ourselves to be disturbed by his heaviness. Prabhupada had to be that way. He\u2019s entitled to be as soft as a rose or as hard as a thunderbolt. Prabhupada had Krishna in his fist, and he can Him to us. He is teaching us love of God. It is up to us to develop that simple devotion that develops with devotion to guru. We want to be sheltered by Prabhupada, our Nrsimha-guru.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is perfect. He is glorious the way he smashes illusions. He knows Krishna. He can give us Krishna in the most direct and simple way. But simplicity is not always so easy. Devotion means wholehearted surrender to Krishna\u2019s lotus feet. Only then can we really understand anything. People who aren\u2019t actually surrendered to Krishna the way Prabhupada was may recite so many things about higher rasas<\/i> and love of God, but they cannot give you Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 12, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Manifestation of Steady Bhava<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Vaisnava acaryas<\/i> have minutely delineated all the various manifestations of ecstasy. In this regard, there are eight kinds of bodily symptoms which occur when a devotee feels love of Krishna, and Prabhupada mentioned them in one of his early essays:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the beginning, there may not be the presence of all transcendental ecstasies, which are eight in number. These are: 1. being stopped as though dumb; 2. perspiration; 3. standing up of hairs on the body; 4. dislocation of voice; 5. trembling; 6. fading of the body; 7. crying in ecstasy; and 8. trance. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati comments that even if a pure devotee does not manifest these eight symptoms of ecstasy, he may still be fully qualified to chant the holy names. Sometimes pure devotees restrain their ecstatic symptoms because people who do not understand them may become afraid or blasphemous. Also, sometimes people who recognize these symptoms, but who have not attained bhava<\/i> themselves, will imitate them in order to get a reputation as an ecstatic devotee. Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati concludes that it is more important to demonstrate detachment. Furthermore, the steady symptoms of bhava<\/i> as described in Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu (Nectar of Devotion)<\/i>, are important criteria for knowing if one is advancing in spiritual life.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada fully displayed these steady symptoms of bhava<\/i> at all times, although he occasionally manifested the different bodily manifestations of the eight symptoms.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One symptom of steady bhava<\/i> is proper utilization of time. Srila Prabhupada followed a daily schedule of his own making. He was always on time, although he was not fanatical about it. He was always using his time to serve Krishna no matter what he was doing. To this end, Prabhupada felt that his schedule enhanced his own meditation and practice.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Pure devotees of Krishna meditate on Krishna\u2019s schedule. Krishna performs various pastimes with His eternal associates according to the time of day. Krishna\u2019s day is divided into eight main periods, and within these eight periods there are more minute divisions. Pure devotees fill their minds with remembrance of Radha-Krishna by meditating in this way.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Similarly, Srila Prabhupada\u2019s daily schedule is well known to his devotees. We can meditate on Prabhupada at different times of the day. For example, Prabhupada rose around 1 A.M. to write. He took prasadam<\/i> at specific times, chanted his gayatri<\/i> mantra at specific times, and had scheduled meeting times for guests. He took a noon bath and a little nap afterwards, and he was usually prepared to lecture in the evening. As we go through our own day\u2019s activities, we can meditate on Prabhupada\u2019s schedule and even try to do some of the things he did at the times he did them. That will fill our minds with remembrance of Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada also manifested the other symptoms of steady bhava<\/i>, including always expecting the Lord\u2019s mercy, pridelessness, attraction for living in a holy place, and attraction for chanting the holy names. Prabhupada manifested all these symptoms with full Krishna conscious emotion and with the strong awareness of a preacher. He was a pure devotee. Prabhupada wanted his followers to also become pure devotees. Therefore, we can please Prabhupada not only by meditating on him throughout the day as he performs his bhajana<\/i>, but by performing it ourselves. This is the perfection of Prabhupada meditation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 13, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Talk to Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have been going too long without trying to talk to Prabhupada. We shouldn\u2019t refrain from talking to Prabhupada out of lack of faith. If a Christian can talk to Christ, and a yogi can talk to his Supersoul, why can\u2019t a Prabhupadanuga speak his mind to Prabhupada? It just takes faith and hope that he will hear us \u2013 hope that Krishna will hear us. We may say, \u201cWell, I definitely have faith in Krishna as the Supersoul,\u201d but that faith may be more an acceptance of the scripture, than direct realization of the Lord in the heart. But the same scriptures tell us that the pure devotee, by Krishna\u2019s grace, can be just as present as the Supersoul in the heart of His disciple. We do not have to doubt that, even if we don\u2019t have direct realization of it. If we do doubt it, then we have to pin our hopes on a prayer to both Krishna and Prabhupada, \u201cPlease, Krishna, deliver my message to Prabhupada. Please, Prabhupada, deliver my message to Krishna. Please, Srimati Radharani, forgive me for my offenses, and let me become a devotee of my spiritual master, Lord Krishna, and You.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let us have faith in our ability to talk to Prabhupada. We should place ourselves as his eternal servant and say, \u201cPrabhupada, I am trying to remember you. My place in spiritual life is only to be your servant. Please allow me to serve your movement.\u201d Whatever recent things you have heard about Prabhupada, or thoughts you have had, or places you have seen \u2013 each can be the stimulus to bring us closer to him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 14, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Is Not Ordinary<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The sastras<\/i> warn us not to think of the spiritual master as an ordinary man. That is very hard for the nondevotees to comprehend. They think the spiritual master is an ordinary person because they see him growing old, or they see him show anger. They misjudge him in many ways. They have no idea what is ordinary and what is extraordinary. It takes spiritual vision to appreciate the pure devotee, but the sastras<\/i> tell us the truth.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The sastras<\/i> list certain qualifications of a spiritual master, yet even among those who possess these qualifications, Srila Prabhupada is extraordinary. What is it about him that makes him extraordinary? Or, we can ask, \u201cThere appear to be some extraordinary things about Prabhupada, so what is it about Prabhupada that makes these things extraordinary?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dr. Harvey Cox said, \u201cPrabhupada is one in a million.\u201d He founded the Hare Krishna Movement, which continues to grow and establish roots in countries all over the world. Fulfilling Lord Caitanya\u2019s prediction that the holy name would be known in every town and village of the world was seen as a near impossible task by other sannyasis<\/i>. Prabhupada fulfilled the Lord\u2019s prediction. He must be an extraordinary person, someone fully empowered by Krishna, to possess so much pure devotion and determination. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One should not see the spiritual master as an ordinary man. This is not only the proper etiquette described in the Vedas<\/i>, it is reality. The spiritual master is never ordinary, even if he appears to be growing older, or seems to forget a Sanskrit verse, the disciple should never doubt his spiritual master because of these things. Prabhupada explained that his perfection was that he was always preaching and was fully engaged in Krishna consciousness. The guru is not the Supersoul who knows all things, but he has an intimate relationship with the Supersoul. Srila Prabhupada was always dedicated to Krishna\u2019s mission. He produced amazing, tangible results. He is extremely dear to Krishna. All his displays of anger, or illness, or humanness are transcendental; they are meant to bring us closer to him in loving exchange.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The spiritual master lives in the internal energy. He always desires to talk about Krishna and glorify Krishna, and to engage himself and others in Krishna\u2019s service. To be in his presence is intense and purifying, and this can be difficult for a neophyte to take. Therefore, when he acts in apparently \u201cordinary\u201d ways, it relieves his neophyte disciples and enables the beginning devotee to feel intimacy with the exalted pure devotee. When the ordinary devotee can do simple things, like heat water for the guru\u2019s bath, or cook him his favorite sweets, his affection is aroused. Therefore, Srila Prabhupada used to occasionally engage his disciples in conversations and activities just to bring them closer to him. He used the same psychology an adult uses when he plays on the level of a child. It is a way to gain their trust and affection. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ultimately, nothing is ordinary or mundane when sanctioned by the pure devotee and engaged in Krishna\u2019s service. Therefore, whenever we think of Prabhupada as ordinary, meaning mundane or conditioned like other karmic-bound souls in this world, we commit Vaisnava aparadha.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Moving Apartments<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 15, 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He moved from 501, downstairs two floors to a room all his own. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have changed my room to 307, in the same building as mentioned, for better air and light. It is on the roadside junction of two roads, the Columbus Avenue and 72nd<\/sup> Street.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

According to Dr. Mishra, Prabhupada moved in order to have his own place, independent of the Mishra Yoga Society. <\/p>\n

February 16, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThose Were Happy Days\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada would often be silent for long periods and then suddenly ask something that was on his mind. I remember once he suddenly asked, \u201cWhere in the world can I go where there will be no visitors and I can simply be alone to write my books?\u201d Of all these exchanges, which I witnessed, this one reminds me of the times when our spiritual master was all alone in New York. He has said that those were happy days. One reason was because Prabhupada depended on Krishna entirely without having to depend on many disciples. In the later years, until he came to Second Avenue and saved us, it was not certain whether many Westerners could actually become practicing devotees. Srila Prabhupada\u2019s discovery of this, on behalf of Lord Caitanya, produced happiness for him and for us. He was such a realistic missionary though, he never basked in that happiness or exaggerated it with praises of his own accomplishment. As soon as he knew that Westerners could take to Krishna consciousness, Prabhupada immediately took that good news and went further and further with it, all around the world. In his persistent desire to have time alone to write, we get an indication of what Prabhupada meant when he said, \u201cThose were happy days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 17, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Focus on Prabhupada the Individual<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We sometimes spend so much time going on with our regular duties that we forget about Prabhupada. We don\u2019t think of him enough to actually stop and focus on Prabhupada as a person. The person who was here is beneficial. We have to become still enough, quiet enough, to be able to remember him. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We tend to be almost arrogant about the fact that we are living now, as if that gives us a superior vision of Prabhupada, as if he is among the dead and we are among the living. Actually, we have a feeble hold on this life. In this tiny amount of space and time, we will each disappear.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The consciousness we command and the space we live in \u2013 why do we think this is more important than where Prabhupada is? Is it because we think our world is manifest and Prabhupada\u2019s world is unmanifest? Prabhupada\u2019s world is not unmanifest. Prabhupada is with Krishna in Goloka. That world is the only really manifest world. We may not see him in the material world, but that is because we are so insignificant in relation to Krishna. Prabhupada is in the real world, and we are in the kingdom of death. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Our attitude should be that \u201cPrabhupada has gone to participate in his intimate relationship with Krishna and I have been left behind.\u201d He came here and developed a relationship with us, gave us adequate instructions and we vowed to follow him, but ultimately he left us stumbling behind. We are trying to figure out the meaning of his books, how to act, how to get along with one another. Sometimes we make serious mistakes. But we are also calling to him, running after him, \u201cPrabhupada! Prabhupada!\u201d This is our actual position. Therefore, don\u2019t be complacent. Visit his room and try to taste a little of our own deaths, then feel the need to catch up to him, the need to perfect ourselves.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is only human to remember Prabhupada as he was in this world. Not long ago, he enacted his pastimes on the earth. He was never an ordinary human being suffering under the spell of illusion, although he appeared to us as an elderly Indian sannyasi<\/i>. If we forget Prabhupada\u2019s pastimes with us, then where is our connection to Prabhupada at all? Maintaining Prabhupada\u2019s rooms is meant to help us focus in this way. We can look at the paraphernalia he used when he was here and worship his murti. And we can remember how he appeared to us with love.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 18, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Revealed the Topmost Bhakti<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some devotees are starting to inquire more about how to be part of the intimate pastimes of Radha and Krishna. Some say Prabhupada taught only vaidi-bhakti<\/i>. They claim they have to go elsewhere to get the higher teachings about the rasas<\/i>. But it is not true. Everything is there in Prabhupada\u2019s books. Prabhupada is on the highest platform. He is very advanced in his love for Krishna, and he has a very intimate relationship with Krishna in Vrindavana. We should never mistake that. The one important message is to stay faithful to Prabhupada. By faith in guru, we get Krishna. Not otherwise. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We should never think that Prabhupada didn\u2019t teach the topmost understanding. We should always know that only when he allows us, can we enter the dhama<\/i> and our eternal relationship with Radha-Krishna. Radha and Krishna and Their associates are mysterious, transcendental persons beyond this material existence. They will allow us to come to Them when we are qualified by sincerity and purity. We cannot simply pick up a book on internal Krishna consciousness and expect to be allowed to enter. You have to please your guru, the representative of Radha-Krishna. By his grace, you can make progress.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The real substance is service to Prabhupada. His service does include the higher topics, but like anything in Krishna consciousness, inquiry into these topics is a gradual process. We have to be careful not to hear from anyone who tells us Prabhupada was deficient, or incomplete in his teachings. In fact, it would be better not to know anything than to hear from someone who teaches us that Prabhupada didn\u2019t give us what we need. Better to continue as he wanted us to, chanting Hare Krishna and praying to Radha and Krishna in the temple. We can always please Them with our wholehearted efforts.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada states that you cannot enter Vrindavana without the mercy of Lord Nityananda. This is also described by Narottama dasa Thakura in one of his songs. The mercy of Lord Nityananda comes through Prabhupada. Also, Narottama sang, you cannot enter Vrindavana as long as you have visaya cariya kabe<\/i>, attachment for the demands of the senses in the body. You cannot enter Vrindavana except through the line of the six Gosvamis.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We benefit from Prabhupada\u2019s various purports where he talks about the Vrindavana mood. Prabhupada quotes all the previous acaryas<\/i> right after the most important information about madhurya-rasa<\/i>. Nothing is lacking. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 19, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Meditating on Prabhupada\u2019s Eternal Form<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Usually I favor meditating on Prabhupada as we knew him. As an expression of loyalty, I almost scoff at the possibility of Prabhupada having a form other than how he appeared in the West in 1965. But I know he does. Still, we prefer to think of Prabhupada as we knew him, and anyway, we really can\u2019t know Prabhupada in any other form. At least not now.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lately, I am coming to understand that it is possible for a disciple to know his eternal relationship with his spiritual master in the spiritual world. It is possible to meditate on that eternal relationship. This no longer seems scandalous to my loyalty if I think like that.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now I want to pray that the other form is revealed. I cannot imagine it or concoct it, but I hope one day Srila Prabhupada will reveal how I can be with him as he assists Radha-Krishna in the spiritual world. Just as we sing every morning, nikunja-yuno rati-keli-siddhyai<\/i>. Shri-radhika-madhavayor apara-madhurya-lila-guna-rupa-nammam \/ prati-kshanasvadana-lolupasya \/ vande guroh shri-charanaravindam.<\/i> These two verses are meaningful. I pray that I may one day realize them. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Meditating on Prabhupada in his eternal form in Goloka Vrindavana would not be negated. Understanding his other form would be a graduation, the fruit of remembering Prabhupada in this world. Furthermore, we can continue to meditate on Prabhupada as he appears in this world, but with the understanding of how he is eternal. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 20, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Remembering Prabhupada Favorably<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I read Conversations With Srila Prabhupada<\/i>, I find that although one can come close to Prabhupada by reading them, they give a very stripped-down picture of him. We don\u2019t see how he looks as he speaks, how he moves, what his non-verbal language is. We see only his words printed in black and white. We could get the wrong idea about Prabhupada by seeing only the words. But it is also true that as we read one conversation after another, Prabhupada\u2019s presence seems to accumulate in our minds and we begin to see all the non-spoken gestures, too. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It takes faith to hear from Prabhupada. Don\u2019t think that Prabhupada\u2019s presence can be gained without faith. Don\u2019t think it is wrong to be faithful, or to be favorable toward Prabhupada. Don\u2019t think feeling these things is in competition with anything else in your life. You want your love to be revived. There is no logical calculation involved, no prerequisite emotional objectivity. You simply have to satisfy your own sense of service and inquiry at his lotus feet. You have to satisfy your own sense of truthfulness by engaging your intelligence and your heart in understanding what he is saying to you. Krishnadasa Kaviraja tells us to use our intelligence dynamically to study the qualities and character of Lord Caitanya. Don\u2019t argue with yourself (or with your spiritual master). And don\u2019t find fault. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This is remembrance of Prabhupada in a favorable mood. There is work to be done \u2013 we have to throw aside everything unfavorable in our remembrance. Therefore, we have to understand the science of Krishna consciousness, the nature of the work to be done. If we don\u2019t know the difference between weeds and flowers, how can we expect our garden to produce fruit? If we don\u2019t know the difference between non-favorable meditation and favorable meditation, how can we expect our spiritual life to increase?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Selecting between favorable and unfavorable can sometimes be painful. Again, we have to approach this process with faith. Prabhupada will help us, he wants to help us, clear our hearts. We have failed him many times, but he is still accepting us. Let us serve him with full faith and consciousness and study his character and qualities with dynamic intelligence. Let us pray to him to reveal to us the difference between the flowers and the weeds. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 21, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Please Bless Us for Advancement<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One should pray to Prabhupada, \u201cPlease bless us for advancement,\u201d with confidence that everything we desire in spiritual life can be achieved by his mercy. His mercy comes in many forms. It comes in his books. He gave us his books, but we have to enter them. If we pray for understanding when we read, Krishna will give us the intelligence. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada can also help us through the heart. The pure devotees are just as good as Krishna. They can expand in different places at the same time. They are inconceivable in their power. They are not limited by material circumstances. Prabhupada\u2019s mercy can act in many ways. The sastras<\/i> tell us of gurus who come back to help their disciples. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We want to reciprocate with Prabhupada by fulfilling his intentions for us. He intends that we become pure devotees of Krishna. Therefore, we can take siksa<\/i> from someone who is also in line with Prabhupada, someone who can help us to better understand Prabhupada\u2019s teachings. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada can tell us everything we need to know if we pray to him. We are still not mature, and he has still not revealed everything. We are getting older physically, but we are still spiritual infants. We have so much to learn. We pray to Prabhupada for better vision. Arjuna prayed for the eyes to see the Universal Form; we need the eyes to see what is in Prabhupada\u2019s books. We need to understand the deeper meaning of Krishna consciousness. This doesn\u2019t mean that Prabhupada didn\u2019t give us everything. It only means that we have failed to recognize it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 22, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Versatility<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was sometimes as strong as a thunderbolt, other times soft as a rose. When, sometimes, persons would ask Prabhupada esoteric details about Vrindavana or the rasa<\/i> dance, he would cut them short. Rather than answer their questions directly, he would address their mentalities. Yet, at the same time, he would fully answer the questions of a sincere inquirer. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We should be proud to have such a guru, who adopted the chopping technique of his own spiritual master in trying to save the world from maya, but was fully capable of understanding Vrindavana bhajana-rasa<\/i>. After all, he lived in Vrindavana for years, wrote his books there, and lived alone at the Radha Damodara Temple. He was very, very sensitive to the atmosphere in Vrindavana. Even his silence on the subject of rasa-lila<\/i> made us feel his potency, his power. Krishna\u2019s pastimes took place in Vraja, although, at present, They are aprakata<\/i>, not manifest now, Prabhupada knew about Krishna\u2019s pastimes. <\/p>\n

February 23, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Was Not Obliged<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Krsna Book<\/i> describes the spiritual master as a waterfall, which sometimes flows in the rainy season and sometimes is still. When I asked Prabhupada what this meant, he said that the spiritual master is not obliged to speak. When he feels inspired, he will speak to his disciple in a relevant way. He will not give the disciple information he is not ready to receive. But he never handles his disciple roughly. He is interested in the disciple\u2019s welfare, and therefore, he\u2019s willing to teach Krishna consciousness according to the disciple\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was like this. He was not obliged. The fact that he did not speak so much Vrindavana krishna-katha<\/i> was his mercy, his expertise. At the same time, he gave everything, including knowledge of krishna-lila<\/i>, caitanya-lila<\/i>, and the foundational wisdom of the Lord\u2019s talks with Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Pure Devotee Preacher<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The pure devotee is not restricted to the limitations of sadhana-bhakti<\/i>, but follows those practices which nourish pure devotion. Pure devotion means Krishna consciousness, which specifically means service to Radha-Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada conducted his life in that way. His only concern was for things that fostered the preaching and spreading of Krishna consciousness and the cultivation of essential spiritual life. The more we study texts about the most advanced Krishna consciousness as it exists between the Lord and His eternal associates, the more we see that Prabhupada was in that league.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He introduced Westerners to Radha-Krishna from the very beginning, but he also demonstrated gravity and privacy in his emotions. He taught that even if one is above the rules and regulations, he should still follow most of them to set an example. Prabhupada was sober. He didn\u2019t give vent to many ecstatic expressions. Lord Caitanya was also careful about revealing His internal emotions when He was near superficial, ritualistic brahmanas<\/i> while he was speaking with Ramananda Raya. Similarly, Prabhupada was always in the presence of doubters and atheists while preaching in the West, and thus his demeanor was sober and reserved. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Compassion<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada felt great compassion, the compassion of Lord Caitanya. He was saturated in it. We sometimes say Lord Caitanya manifested audarya<\/i> (compassion) in Mayapur, and in Vrindavana we see the madhurya<\/i>, or the relish of sweetness between Krishna and His associates. Prabhupada definitely revealed both. He was particularly strong in his desire to spread the glories of the Lord. As we read the descriptions of people who experience internal meditation on Krishna\u2019s pastimes and the different qualities they have, we see that Prabhupada is never lacking in devotion to Krishna in any of those ways. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada followed his spiritual master, who followed Gaurakisora dasa Babaji. These teachers worked to eradicate all pretention. They were extremely humble and completely devoted to Radha-Krishna. Their intense meditation should always be appreciated. Prabhupada manifested such internal-deep states in his activities. He was so selfless to come to America and engage in the kind of preaching he did. And the extraordinary thing about Prabhupada\u2019s apparent outwardness, is that it all came from the inside, from his devotion. He didn\u2019t do anything for his personal sense gratification, but only pushed on with his preaching. Prabhupada\u2019s thoughts (as expressed through his writing) often reflect his intolerance for the ignorance that existed in the world. He wanted to save people. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Great Vaisnavas like Srila Prabhupada so much want for Krishna to be glorified that they leave their hermitage and don\u2019t consider peacefulness as important. Such great devotees want to use everything in Krishna\u2019s service. Prabhupada\u2019s beating on the brhad mrdanga<\/i> was a further manifestation of the Lord\u2019s internal energy. Krishna\u2019s pure devotee desired to do wonderful, compassionate work on behalf of Lord Caitanya and his spiritual master. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 26, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Discouragement In Selling Books in India<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 16, 1966<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada wrote to the proprietors of the Universal Book House of Bombay, giving some hints for selling his Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> in the Bombay area. He explained that he was trying to establish a Radha-Krishna temple and that a \u201cbig industrialist of India has promised to pay for the cost.\u201d Since it seemed that he might stay in the United States \u201cfor many more days,\u201d he wanted the Book House to take increased charge of selling his books throughout India. They were his agents for selling his books in Maharashtra, but now he recommended that they take the responsibility in all provinces, and introduce his books in colleges and universities throughout India. He also requested that they credit his bank account there for the books sold so far. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 26, 1966<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mr. A.P. Dharwadkar of the Universal Book House replied:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I cannot give you very happy news on the progress of the sale of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, because the subject is religious and only a small section of society may personally be interested in the books … We try to push them through some book sellers in Nagpur Ahmedabad, Pune, etc., but regret to inform you that after some time these booksellers return the books for want of response. As such, we are not only unenthusiastic to agree to your proposal of taking up sales for all India, but we were just thinking of requesting you to nominate some other people in our place to represent your sale program in Maharashtra. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So far, they had sold only six sets of books, for which they were about to transfer Rs 172 to his account. This was hardly encouraging to the author. Again, India was not interested. Even in \u201cthe land of religion,\u201d religious subjects were only for \u201ca small section of society.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Art of Prabhupada Prayer<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Devotees suggest that one should pray to Prabhupada. We use this word \u201cpray\u201d frequently in Krishna consciousness. \u201cPray to Prabhupada.\u201d But what does it really mean? How do you do it?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One way to pray to Prabhupada is to sit in a place where his presence can be felt intensely, such as his samadhi mandir<\/i>, or in his rooms at Radha-Damodara Temple, or we may go to a place where he performed some pastime that is easy to meditate on. We can then attempt to engage in sustained conversation with him. We can help ourselves by making notes on a piece of paper first, or we can just sit quietly, although our minds will have a greater tendency to wander. We could also sit in our chosen spot and chant japa<\/i>, although there are specific advantages to planning our prayer-time ahead of time and going prepared to spend that time with Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prayer to Prabhupada presumes that we have the faith that he is present and that he can hear our prayers. It also presumes that we have the faith he will bless us in our endeavors on his behalf. The Lord and Prabhupada already know what is in our hearts; technically, we don\u2019t need to pray to report to them. But we want to speed things up the way Narada Muni sped things up in Krishna\u2019s pastimes. We need to speed things up because our time in this body is short and we have a lot of distance to travel. We are not satisfied with our progress. There are also immediate points and crises and times and pathways facing us with different, alternative routes to take on the road. We need to pray for direction. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dear Srila Prabhupada, please allow me to have the presence of mind to pray to you, and please allow me to find a peaceful place where I can be in your presence. I want to be faithful to you, but I realize faithfulness takes creativity and courage and inspiration. I can\u2019t be faithful only by carrying out the program you gave me \u2013 the basic sadhana<\/i> and guru-seva<\/i> \u2013 in a mechanical way. I pray that you will give me the courage and the intelligence how to enter deeply into my Krishna consciousness. I have already encountered how my false ego gives me so many problems, but I know you can kick out all these obstacles very quickly. Therefore, I pray to you: Let me realize Krishna consciousness in a way that is pleasing to you.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Further Prayer to Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Our heartfelt prayers to Prabhupada should be guided by \u015bruti sm\u1e5bti pur\u0101\u1e47\u0101di-pa\u00f1car\u0101tra vidhi\u1e41 vin\u0101<\/i>. I am praying to Prabhupada to please direct me in the best way for my spiritual life. In one sense, we are waiting for an immediate response from Prabhupada, although we must also understand that prayer is itself a process. It is an ongoing meditation, rather than an isolated event with a set result.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dear Srila Prabhupada, today I asked a devotee how to pray to you. The answer I got was that we should speak in prayers composed by the previous acaryas<\/i>. I thought one of the most obvious prayers is the pranama mantra<\/i>, which you yourself gave to us. \u201cI offer my obeisances to His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, who is very dear to Krishna on this earth, having taken shelter at the lotus feet of the transcendental Lord.\u201d And sometimes we pray to you spontaneously in our own words, \u201cPrabhupada, please help me,\u201d \u201cPrabhupada, thank you for allowing me to serve and function as your assistant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, please let me go forward in Krishna consciousness, please let me serve you, please let me remember you, please guide me. I want to especially concentrate on that prayer \u2013 please guide me. You yourself were so confidential, private, and grave that you didn\u2019t even tell us about it. You knew that preaching to us meant stressing the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> and convincing us that God exists. But you also gave the postgraduate study, Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, and beyond that, Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i>. You gave us the truth that Krishna came to taste Radha\u2019s love in the form of Lord Caitanya. You explained to us that Lord Caitanya wanted to distribute that love, the love of the gopis<\/i>, to the whole world. You introduced us to the Six Gosvamis. But you were also careful. You didn\u2019t want to confuse us. You wanted to protect us. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now we are trying to pray that you give us the mercy of your association eternally. We have to realize our eternal relationship with you in the spiritual world. It is difficult, Prabhupada, because I don\u2019t want to be pretentious. Yet we must do this. Please guide me, Srila Prabhupada, to serve you in your sadhaka<\/i> form as the Founder-Acarya of ISKCON, as the dear person who was so kind to me in this life, who gave me so much association, and who sustains me now. But also guide me to worship you in your eternal, spiritual form. I appear to be quite experienced in ISKCON, but when I think of my relationship with you in your eternal, spiritual form and rasa<\/i> with Krishna, then I realize I am completely inexperienced. I am a baby, a neophyte. That is one of the reasons I hesitate to inquire into it, because I don\u2019t want to give up my prestigious position as a teller of Prabhupada stories and an old devotee. But I am willing to do that also. I am willing to go ahead and admit that I know very little. I don\u2019t know the Sanskrit terms for all the stages of rasa<\/i>, I don\u2019t know your name in the spiritual world, I don\u2019t know anything. But I aspire to be with you and serve you. However, I have to prove myself by continual, solid service to you in your sadhaka<\/i> form and in your ISKCON movement. As you write in so many purports, by preaching we attract the attention of Krishna. Let me preach and please you in that way. Then you will reveal to me the higher truths. Please protect me. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, please bless us to be ready for higher Krishna consciousness. Let us pursue love of God and enhance our faithfulness to you. Let us become better servants in your mission by becoming touchstones, or the moons you wish you had in your star-filled sky. That is our whole purpose, dear Srila Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

February 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/a> \n<\/p>\n

I Had So Much Hardship<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

About the Jaladutta voyage to America, he said, \u201cIt is a great history. There were two days I had heart attacks on the ship. I had so much hardship.\u201d We may only try to think of how Srila Prabhupada put up with such difficulties: vai\u1e63\u1e47avera kriy\u0101 mudr\u0101 vij\u00f1eha n\u0101 bujhaya<\/i>. One can never understand the mind of a great Vaisnava, and although we are advised not to try to read his mind, yet we may worship Prabhupada\u2019s example of tolerance and distress. There is a great risk in assuming we can read devotees\u2019 minds and motivations. Yet we can just remember that on the Jaladutta voyage to America, Prabhupada twice experienced heart attacks. And he continued to suffer strokes and many other maladies while discharging his duties on behalf of his spiritual master. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we are physically disposed, we may also meditate on how Srila Prabhupada does not reject us because of illness, and how he did not stop because of hardships. We should not feel sorry for ourselves, or think that our spiritual master is unsympathetic to our material condition. He himself has gone through pain; he knows that we are sincere and that we will work more actively on his behalf if we were fit. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

March 1, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His Lectures<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s lectures were always of a good quality, although he never prepared them. Usually he went to the engagements without having chosen a topic, although, if a club or organization requested a topic, he would agree to it. Neither did he ever appear nervous or uncertain of what he would say, yet he writes with joy in his diary for February 1966: \u201cToday\u2019s meeting was attended by a greater number of members than other days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His preparation was his total commitment to Krishna consciousness. In that sense, he was more prepared than any speaker on any topic. He lived and breathed Krishna consciousness twenty-four hours a day. There was no question of his speaking about anything else. In one lecture at Northeastern University in 1968, Prabhupada began, \u201cThank you very much for allowing me to take this opportunity to glorify the Supreme Personality of Godhead.\u201d That was always his topic \u2013 glorifying Krishna. His speeches always appeared well thought out because he had such realization of his topic.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s main emphasis was to present Krishna consciousness; therefore, he was sometimes concerned about his audience and was prepared to address their particular concerns. At other times, however, he was not. When reporters asked their hackneyed questions, Prabhupada often springboarded off their questions to his own points of interest in the philosophy. Similarly, he would give lectures to particular groups, but remain the irrepressible Prabhupada. He was independent. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 2, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Typing His Words<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In February 1966 Prabhupada spoke, over the space of two lectures, what later became the introduction to his Bhagavad-gita As It Is<\/i>. He recorded these lectures himself and we typed them later. In a 1968 letter to me, Prabhupada wrote, \u201cYou have to meet many opposing elements in the matter of preaching work; therefore, you should always be careful to follow the principles in Bhagavad-gita As It Is<\/i>. You will be glad to know that our arrangement with Macmillan for publishing Bhagavad-gita As It Is,<\/i> is already complete and the manuscript has been handed over to them. We should clearly preach that our Krishna consciousness movement is purely based on Bhagavad-gita As It Is<\/i>. Any other movement which does not tally with the principles of Bhagavad-gita As It Is<\/i>, is considered unauthorized by us.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was still typing for him in 1968 despite many opposing elements. Typing is yoga. You sit on the floor cross-legged in front of the typewriter. Instead of performing pranayama<\/i> and raising the life air in the cakras<\/i>, you type the words of Swamiji from the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> manuscript. If you make a mistake in typing, then stop and correct it. Everything is concentrated on looking at the message and making it right. Thinking of typing as yoga gives a nice spirit to the work, but the most important thing is that it is in connection with the Swamiji. It is his words of Bhagavad-gita.<\/i> Besides the recorded lectures, he had bundles of thousands of pages that he had typed, wrapped in saffron and lying on the floor in his closet. When he first took some typing out of this mass of material and gave it to me, I remarked, \u201cI think you have enough work to last me a whole winter.\u201d Swamiji laughed and said, \u201cI have many lifetimes of work for you.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 3, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Empowered in Kirtana<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Rayarama told me once in 1966 that Srila Prabhupada said it took him thirty years to attain his present level of kirtana<\/i>. Even before chanting with his disciples, early in 1966 Prabhupada joined Dr. Mishra on the yoga retreats in upstate New York and conducted kirtanas<\/i> \u2013 which all the yoga students appreciated. On February 26, Prabhupada wrote in his diary: \u201cKirtana<\/i> demonstration was given. Dr. Mishra appreciated it very much. Next morning also invited.\u201d Kirtana<\/i> is the yuga-dharma<\/i>. We can read many, many references to this in the scriptures \u2013 but no one would be chanting kirtana<\/i> in the West on their own. Prabhupada came and brought us the chanting. He had such faith in the holy name! It is impossible to think how the holy names of Krishna and Rama, which are not names familiar in the West, could have been introduced and accepted. It was impossible to conceive of this. This could only be done by a pure devotee of the Lord. Thus it is written in Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i>: \u201ck\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a-\u015bakti vin\u0101 nahe t\u0101ra pravartana<\/i>. \u201cUnless one is empowered by Krishna, he cannot spread the chanting of Hare Krishna around the world.\u201d (CC Antya: 7.11) <\/p>\n

You spread this chanting, Prabhupada, by chanting with us and stressing in us the importance of kirtana<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On Separation<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a> Some of the most direct instructions on feelings of separation from Srila Prabhupada are in the Fourth Canto of Bhagavatam<\/i>, where Prabhupada explains that the disciple is supposed to cry after the disappearance of the spiritual master. As far as separation from Krishna, or separation from the devotee is concerned, it\u2019s the most exalted part of our philosophy. The worst kind of unhappiness is separation from the devotee. If we feel there is no devotee around us, then Ramananda Raya said, \u201cThis is the most unhappy condition.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, in 1966, wrote about this unhappiness in his diary: \u201cAccording to Mayapur Panjika, today is Adhivas day of Gaura Purnima. Devotees at Vrindavana and Navadvipa are enjoying the celebration. I am here alone without a devotee companion, but I have come here to serve the Lord and not for personal happiness. I am prepared to live in hell, even if I am able to serve the Lord. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu wanted that His mission should be propagated all over the world, and that is my objective. I do not mind the inconvenience personally felt. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada also expressed the mood of separation from Krishna in the poem he wrote while crossing the Atlantic Ocean aboard the Jaladutta:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cToday the remembrance of You came to me in a very nice way. Because I have a great longing, I call to You, I am Your eternal servant, and therefore I desire Your association so much. O Lord Krishna, except for You, there is no other means of success.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Pioneers of Kirtana<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada gave us \u2013 and is giving us \u2013 the great opportunity to be pioneers in the spreading of kirtana.<\/i> Often the word \u201cpioneer\u201d conjures up the image of leaving our home country and going to open a centre in a different part of the world, or join a world tour of kirtanas<\/i>. However, Prabhupada also encouraged us to perform kirtana<\/i> among our own people. Therefore, he made those of us who were pioneering among the student population in Boston as much a part of the pioneering movement as those who went to Germany and London, or later, Japan and Africa. We always felt that Prabhupada was with us and that we were trying to accomplish what he asked of us. We could only pray to be successful. No one could sit down and relax. We were so caught up in immediate preaching that we had no time to reflect on our relative position to other temples, or what the non-devotees would think of as later. To serve Prabhupada, we were forced to live in the present. We hardly had time to think. Such a life thoroughly engaged our minds and senses in Prabhupada\u2019s service and we left it to him to define whether it was pleasing or not, and to encourage us. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Dream<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When asked about his dream on board the Jaladutta, Prabhupada said: \u201cThe dream was I must come here … The dream was that Krishna in His many forms was rowing the boat.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Be true to the great personality who brought pure love of God, be true to yourself who desires pure life and freedom in love of Krishna, be true to this highest mission for the world\u2019s welfare. In other words, I realize I cannot force anyone, and all will have to withstand maya<\/i> on their own, but if they will only follow His instructions, they will be safe. Otherwise, all this danger, implications; caught in the web of action reaction. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Wrote His Books for Us<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada loved to write because it was an effective way to spread Krishna consciousness. He got good results from his writing. He also communed deeply with the previous acaryas<\/i> when he wrote. He felt their power, even when his essays weren\u2019t being read. Writing seemed to be his dharma<\/i>. Even his spiritual master encouraged him to write. So, Srila Prabhupada became occupied with writing books, and he saw temple construction as not important for him, especially in the years before he came to America. He saw himself as following his guru\u2019s example, and his order: \u201cIf you ever get money, print books.\u201d Prabhupada wrote that the first duty of a sannyasi<\/i> is to write books.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s books teach us about the spiritual relationship between the disciple and the spiritual master. Prabhupada\u2019s books are like the map, but I still have to undertake the journey myself. I study the symbols on the page; they refer to a situation like my own, describing what is required of me as a disciple in giving my whole life to Srila Prabhupada. The map marks out hazard areas \u2013 don\u2019t be whimsical, don\u2019t disrespect the spiritual master, pray to him, inquire from him … But it remains general. Each of us has to make our own journey guided by the map of the sastra<\/i>. The journey is meant to be long; one has to pass through all phases of life in this body while he traverses the path. But still, the sastra<\/i> gives us only general guidelines.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Nectar of Devotion<\/i> states that one should accept the shelter of a bona fide spiritual master, accept initiation from him, and receive instruction in Krishna consciousness while serving him in faith and confidence. But even Rupa Gosvami admits that he is speaking only basic principles. Prabhupada comments,<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cFor example, a basic principle is that one has to accept a spiritual master. Exactly how one follows the instructions of his spiritual master is considered a detail.\u201d (Nectar of Devotion, <\/i>Chapter 6, page 53)<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In a sense, my relationship with my spiritual master is not mentioned in the scriptures. It\u2019s unchartered territory. The details have been left up to Srila Prabhupada and me. The outcome is still waiting for further development. Will I surrender completely? Will I receive more grace? Without the authorized books I would not know how to conduct myself, but the books cannot cultivate my relationship with Prabhupada for me. I have to make the attempt myself every day. I have to choose good association, control my senses and mind, do the work which is fit for me as approved by Srila Prabhupada. There is much work to do in my individual case. This is true for every disciple. <\/p>\n

March 8, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna\u2019s Recognition Comes Through Srila Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lord Krishna demands that we present ourselves to Him as followers of Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada is our \u201cpassport\u201d to the spiritual world.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201c… Unless one gets the association of a devotee like Narada Muni or his servant in the disciplic succession, one\u2019s dormant spirit of renunciation cannot be awakened. It is not a fact that because material enjoyment involves so many painful conditions, one will automatically become detached. One needs the blessings of a devotee like Narada Muni. Then one can renounce his attachment to the material world. The young boys and girls of the Krishna consciousness movement have given up the spirit of material enjoyment, not because of practice, but by the mercy of Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and His servants. \u2013 <\/p>\n

(Bhag. 6.5.41, Purport)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada grants renunciation; he grants devotion. We work to achieve it, but it comes by his grace. Therefore, any disturbance to our relationship will be like a grating sound in your car\u2019s engine \u2013 something is wrong, something is going to break down. He has to be pleased.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Expectations for Us<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is always the instructor for his disciples. There is usually an edge of chiding in his voice, but it is still gentle and loving. Of the disciple, Srila Prabhupada writes: \u201c… A disciple cannot disobey the order of his spiritual master, that is the relationship between the disciple and his master.\u201d He gives the example of Arjuna who surrendered to Krishna \u201cwithout any vanity regarding his own erudition, and without any reservation.\u201d If you relax your defenses and allow him to instruct you, even in how to fold a cadar, then your relationship will be smooth. You will not become aggravated and neither will he become displeased; you will quickly learn how to do things his way. The spiritual master is to train you to be expert in spiritual activities, including the details of how to fold a cadar. As soon as you resist, thinking you know how to do something, or that he is too demanding, then there will be trouble. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada wants us to understand the difference between the temporary, material world and the eternal, blissful world of Goloka Vrindavana. This is the life-work that Prabhupada wants from us, to somehow fill our minds with more and more Krishna and less and less maya<\/i>. And Prabhupada is with us in our attempts to hear about Krishna. It is the basis of our relationship with him. Srila Prabhupada spoke specifically of Krishna. He described His flute and the feelings of separation the gopis<\/i> experienced. Prabhupada was fully absorbed in Krishna. He wrote in KRSNA Book<\/i>, \u201cThe spiritual masters should enrich the devotees to the highest devotional perfection. Feeling constant separation while engaged in the service of the Lord is a perfection of Krishna consciousness.\u201d (KRSNA<\/i>, Vol. 1, page 231)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I cannot expect Srila Prabhupada to again come to where I am in the material world. He expects us to love him enough now to go to Him. That\u2019s how it should be \u2013 the disciple should go to his guru and render service and hear from him. For now I am doing that by reading his KRSNA Book<\/i>, but the day will come when I can sit at his lotus feet and hear him speak of Krishna and the gopis<\/i>, or any number of other transcendental topics. It will just take time and conscious endeavor, by Prabhupada\u2019s grace. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada and Dreams<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The appearance of Srila Prabhupada in dreams is a shaky kind of evidence that cannot always be held as absolutely true, free of all symbolism or mental concoction. We often don\u2019t like to hear other people\u2019s dreams about Prabhupada, especially when they claim they are literally true. If Prabhupada appears in a dream and says, \u201cThere\u2019s going to be a world war. You should immediately go to south Italy.\u201d \u2013 It may mean many things. It may not be a literal order from Prabhupada himself.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Still, dreams are worth pursuing. Much of our conscious life is spent trying to capture Prabhupada\u2019s presence, but so much time is spent in sleep. If one can dream of Prabhupada and Krishna, then that time will not be wasted. And in fact, dreaming of Prabhupada or Krishna may be a good sign that Krishna consciousness is finally infiltrating one\u2019s heart. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One who craves to be with him will accept whatever he can get, even infrequent, inconclusive dreams.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dependent on Krishna<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He would record every amount received; yet Prabhupada didn\u2019t worry about the money at all. When he moved from one place to another in 1966, he didn\u2019t worry about the rent money, but simply depended on Krishna. American hippies were accustomed to living as mendicants too, but their renunciation was more an act of irresponsibility, and therefore, simply another variety of materialism. Prabhupada was purely renounced in Krishna\u2019s service.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is an amazing feature of Prabhupada\u2019s surrender and dependence on Krishna that he came to the West completely alone with no material backing. Because the Gaudiya Matha had become divided after his spiritual master left this world, there wasn\u2019t enough solidarity among his godbrothers to fund him from his Guru Maharaj\u2019s institution. If someone pressed him about what religion he was representing, or about who sent him, he couldn\u2019t claim anything other than a philosophical and spiritual connection with the Gaudiya Matha. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada didn\u2019t demand his disciples to do what he did \u2013 to go alone to a new place without any income \u2013 but it inspired us to think that he founded the movement on his complete dependence on Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is In Our Hearts<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada expands in each of our hearts. He is present simultaneously with his many followers as they worship him in his murti<\/i>, or read his books, and when they remember his exchanges, his intense desire to preach, his book distribution or the way he took prasadam<\/i>. If we panic when Prabhupada seems distant, then it is meant to be an impetus to propel us forward in our remembrance of him. There are so many ways to be with Prabhupada, we should be grateful to him that he has made himself so available to us and pray to be recognized by him out of his infinite kindness. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, please relieve me of my forgetfulness. I offer my obeisances to His Divine Grace, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. He is very dear to Lord Krishna. His goal was to absorb the minds and hearts of his disciples in love of God, and in this, he represented the Six Gosvamis of Vrindavana.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If Prabhupada is shining in each of our hearts, we will automatically love each other more. As a result, people will be drawn to take part in this mystic sanga<\/i>, which will increase tenfold when we chant and hear together. Prabhupada will be approving us, and we will all feel accepted and purified in his presence. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Faith in Prabhupada\u2019s Instructions<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada is the topmost acarya<\/i>, the representative of Krishna capable of delivering all conditioned souls. His disciples and followers seek release from the material world through bhakti yoga<\/i>, engagement in Krishna\u2019s service. If we accept Prabhupada\u2019s instructions with faith, we can become fully Krishna conscious and go back to Godhead. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, a disciple doesn\u2019t always measure up to the guru\u2019s demands due to a heavily conditioned nature, and this may lead to doubts in his relationship with his spiritual master. Prabhupada is not unreasonable in his requests; he wants us to be perfect, to render pure, unmotivated service to guru and Krishna. He knows that bhakti<\/i> must be unconditional, and his duty is to train us to perform that unconditional service. Whatever doubts we may still have in Krishna consciousness should not be about Prabhupada\u2019s spiritual calibre, or about his disposition toward us. We doubt only our ability to respond to him. In other words, we doubt ourselves. Srila Prabhupada once said that even if we have the most expert guru, we may still fail unless we help ourselves. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 14, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Real Love for Srila Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If we are to love Prabhupada, we have to actually care about his interests as much as we care about our own. What does he want? He wants us to become Krishna conscious. He wants us to cooperate with his other disciples, to maintain his movement and expand it by preaching. Loving Srila Prabhupada means carrying out these aims, even at the expense of some of our more personal aims. There is room for us to develop our interests in serving him. But our own aims should not be separate from his expressed desires; they have to fall within the parameters of his teachings. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This is, at least, a working definition of love for Srila Prabhupada. One will be ready to forgo one\u2019s own conveniences, to invest one\u2019s own time, and even to risk one\u2019s own security to promote the desires of Srila Prabhupada. Our love is not just a feeling, but feeling translated into action. Feelings are fickle. Sometimes they are deep, and at other times, they are distracted. It is the constant sacrifice for the sake of love that makes those feelings profound and steady.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is impossible to love all the different people in our lives with equal intensity. The spiritual master has a special place, and he is given special love. Srila Prabhupada said, \u201cTo be everyone\u2019s servant means that you are no one\u2019s servant.\u201d We give him more respect, more credence, more attention than anyone else we may have love for. And by loving Srila Prabhupada, Krishna consciousness gets distributed and the love is spread around to all living entities. That is the special quality of loving a pure devotee \u2013 the love gets spread around: people can eternally benefit just by our loving Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

March 15, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Honoring Prabhupada\u2019s Relationship With Us<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Each of Srila Prabhupada\u2019s disciples has chosen to love him. It is a commitment that I will always honor, and I have sealed that commitment at my initiation. We have a contract of love now. Although my love for Srila Prabhupada may not yet be free of any material tinge, he is patient. And Prabhupada himself has placed conditions of his love on his disciples. He expects them to follow him. Although he will still love a disobedient disciple, his love will not reach a disciple who rebels or disobeys his order, and who blasphemes guru and Krishna. The relationship between guru and disciple is meant to be based on honor. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have heard people say that this \u201ccondition\u201d Prabhupada places on his love for us is not much different than the conditions some of our parents placed on us to win their love. Many people have been hurt by parents who sold their love for high grades in school, or conformity to family rules, etc. There was no chance for people who grew up in these families to develop themselves as individuals, or to feel self-worth despite their failings to meet their parents\u2019 standards. They grew up only with conditions and have no experience of real love. Is Prabhupada\u2019s love for us like that? Is it a lesser kind of love because he places on it the condition of our obedience?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No, Prabhupada will accept a fallen disciple. He does not reject anyone who fails to follow his standards. What he expects of his disciples is that we maintain our honor. We have to try, and we have to be faithful to him, even if we do not always succeed. He wants at least that much reciprocation for the great gift he is giving us. Neither is his motivation for setting these standards based on false ego, as our parents\u2019 motivations were. Following the spiritual master is best for us. We have to follow the spiritual master in order to learn to love Krishna. And this is the gift he so much wants to share with us, but he knows we have to be qualified first. Prabhupada\u2019s conditions are not the same as so many mundane performance requirements. They are purely spiritual. Neither does he distinguish between race or sex or religion; he doesn\u2019t ask for money. And although he loves all living entities (he is mahatma<\/i>, great-hearted), he feels a special obligation to guide and nurture those who surrender and seek shelter from him as his disciples. It is the case of \u201cif you love me, then I will love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The pure devotee loves us in a much greater proportion than we can love him. We are simply beggars. All he is asking in return for his gift of Krishna consciousness is our sincerity. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 16, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Perfect Disciple<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada told us many things about his relationship with his spiritual master. One time, Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura reprimanded him when it appeared that Srila Prabhupada had diverted his attention from his Guru Maharaja\u2019s lecture. When they first met, Srila Prabhupada debated with Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati about India\u2019s independence. Prabhupada told us, \u201cI liked being defeated by my spiritual master.\u201d He dreamt of his spiritual master, too, mostly the same serious dream, in which Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati told Srila Prabhupada to take sanny\u0101sa<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His spiritual master praised him highly on a number of occasions for his attentive hearing, and for his poetry and prose writings. He said, \u201cWhatever he writes, publish it.\u201d When Srila Prabhupada\u2019s godbrothers asked Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati to make Srila Prabhupada the president of the Bombay Temple, Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura said, \u201cIt is better that he lives outside your company. He will do everything himself. You do not have to recommend him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After their first meeting, Srila Prabhupada had to travel away on business, but he often thought fondly of his spiritual master. Of course, they had some personal meetings in which important things were conveyed to our Srila Prabhupada, especially his Guru Maharaja\u2019s order, \u201cIf you ever get money, print books.\u201d Then, near the end of his Guru Maharaja\u2019s life, they exchanged letters. Srila Prabhupada asked, \u201cHow may I serve you?\u201d And his spiritual master replied, \u201cYou can explain in English our thoughts and arguments. This will do much good to yourself as well as to your audience. I have every hope that you can turn yourself into a very good English preacher if you serve the mission.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was given a lot of freedom by his spiritual master to develop in his own way. But the best example we can take from these anecdotes is that Srila Prabhupada molded his whole life to serve his guru\u2019s mission. Srila Prabhupada gave all he had. In return, he was empowered by his guru\u2019s blessings and the mercy of Lord Caitanya.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was given the shakti<\/i> to convince the fallen Westerners to become devotees and chanters of the holy name. Although I can take examples from his life with his spiritual master, I can\u2019t, of course, imitate it. The point is, how to give ourselves to his order, just as he gave himself to Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati\u2019s order.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Disappointment from India<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On February 8, Srila Prabhupada had written to India\u2019s new Prime Minister, Indira Gandhi, requesting her to sanction the release of money from India. A reply, dated Feb. 25, New Delhi, came from the Prime Minister\u2019s official secretary, Mr. L. K. Gha:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dear Swamiji, <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Prime Minister has seen your letter of February 8, 1966. She appreciates the spirit which prompted you to carry the spiritual message of Srimad Bhagavad-gita <\/i>and Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> to other countries. Owing to the critical foreign exchange situation which the country is facing, it is greatly regretted that it will not be possible to assist you from here in your plan to set up a Radha-Krishna temple. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But Prabhupada had other hopes. After writing to the Prime Minister, he had written again to Tirtha Maharaja asking him to request Dr. Radha Krishnan to persuade the government to sanction the release of funds. He waited for one month. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No answer.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Apparently, his godbrothers felt little obligation toward preaching in America; he had written that he needed encouragement from them to continue preaching in America because it was so expensive. He had explained that he was spending the equivalent of Rs.1000 a month. \u201cAs such, I am counting every day to receive your favorable replies.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But there was no reply. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Preaching Like a Lion<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Back to Godhead<\/i> magazine. I like to scan the titles of Srila Prabhupada\u2019s Back to Godhead<\/i> essays written during the War: \u201cMr. Bernard Shaw\u2019s Wishful Desire\u201d (referring to Shaw\u2019s desire that Gandhi\u2019s 76th<\/sup> birthday could actually be his 35th<\/sup> birthday). Srila Prabhupada wrote, \u201cWe heartily join with Mr. Shaw in his attempt to subtract forty-one years from the present age of Mahatma Gandhi. But death does not respect our wishful desire.\u201d He called another essay, \u201cChurchill\u2019s Humane World.\u201d (Churchill wanted to get rid of the \u201cNational Frenzy of Hate.\u201d Srila Prabhupada writes, \u201cThe frenzy of hatred is another side of the frenzy of love \u2026 This position of equilibrium free from love and hatred is attained only when men are sufficiently educated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He called other articles, \u201cNo Time, a Chronic Disease of the Common Man,\u201d \u201cA Scholar\u2019s Deluded,\u201d and so on. The Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i> describes them: \u201cHis articles were shorter, this time displaying the flair of a news columnist as with philosophical criticism, verve and a touch of ironic humor. He commented on world leaders and crises.\u201d (Vol. 1, page 116)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada seemed so far away right now. I don\u2019t think I can understand who he was when he was still in India during the War. Think of the spiritual master and he will be with you. There is really no \u201canswer\u201d to cure feelings of separation. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On Love of Guru and Krishna<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I recently had a conversation with a friend who claimed that theoreticians estimate that the average person accomplishes only 10% of his promises, is open to only 10% of his emotions, and his heart is only 10% alive with love. If there is any truth in that, it isfrightening to consider that I will miss out on so much in life. I have the greatest fortune to be linked to the Supreme Lord and to his best devotees, but if I give only 10% of my love, that is the greatest misfortune. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna consciousness is about love. It is the art and science of love, not just ordinary love, but Supreme love \u2013 love of God. Krishna loves us and He wants us to serve Him. \u201cOffer me with devotion, a leaf, a flower, a fruit \u2026\u201d But I am not immersed in love. Therefore my relationship with Krishna takes place through my connection with my spiritual master. I need to learn how to love Srila Prabhupada. I still haven\u2019t learned this lesson, but it is meant to help me learn the secrets of loving exchange with Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada acknowledged self-esteem as an important element of this relationship. We cannot become a surrendered servant by pounding ourselves into the ground like a wooden peg. And neither can another person pound us into loving surrender. I have to meet my needs. I need to serve my spiritual master. And I need to do it with self-knowledge. When I know how to love him, then he will teach me how to love Krishna. I am groping toward this end.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is Praiseworthy<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The concept of guru-disciple is not foreign anywhere in the world. Credit is given to teachers and spiritual directors, but not with the emphasis found in the Vaisnava samprad\u0101ya<\/i>. People think that too much dependence or praise of the guru is cultish, a kind of deification of an ordinary man. They look for feet of clay in all heroes, and signs of exaggerated and sentimental dependency in the followers. So we strive to exemplify the real relationship. The spiritual master is praiseworthy, and although we may be foolish, he\u2019s still able to lead us out of the material world, to shelter in eternality, bliss and knowledge. If the world leaders are not praising Srila Prabhupada in the authorized parampara<\/i>, then \u201cstand-ins\u201d such as this writer will have to do it until the world discovers that this is the real responsibility of everyone.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dear Srila Prahbupada, <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

You are a reservoir of Krishna consciousness. You pump fresh water into the parched population. You replenish your own resources in the cloudbank of Krishna\u2019s mercy. His blessings flow down to us from the mountains of the previous acaryas<\/i>. The reign of Krishna\u2019s mercy runs down the mountainsides and deposits the rich loam of the acarya\u2019s <\/i>realization directly into your own reservoir.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As we drink that water, our lives are sustained by it. Please don\u2019t let us continue taking it for granted. Please let us always remember that we are living only by your kindness. You are providing for us all the nourishment we need to advance in spiritual life. You are giving us the water of immortality. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWe Cannot Help You\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He wrote again to Sri Padmapat Singhania, requesting him to send a man from India to supervise work on the temple in New York, as Mr. Singhania had previously suggested. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There is no record of any reply to this request. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada wrote again to Sumati Morarji, requesting her to please send him a mrdanga to accompany his chanting of the Hare Krishna mantra. He also requested her that in the future, when he would send many men from India, she oblige by giving them free passage on Scindia Steamship Lines. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No reply.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As his financial situation became more urgent and his hopes more strained, his support from India withdrew in silence. His unanswered correspondence was itself a kind of message, loud and clear: \u201cWe cannot help you.\u201d<\/p>\n

March 22, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Singhania Not Interested<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s series of correspondence with Mr. Singhania, which began hopefully, ended negatively. Mr. Singhania did not reply personally to Prabhupada\u2019s last letter. He had his secretary, Mr. Iyer, write to Prabhupada, thoroughly discouraging his last hopes for purchasing a building in New York. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I regret to write that Sir Padampatji is not interested in the scheme of building a Radha-Krishna temple in New York at present. In regard to the inquiry in the last paragraph of your last letter, Sri Padampatji duly received your books of Srimad-Bhagwatam <\/i>from your Delhi office.<\/p>\n

Yours faithfully.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Seeing him from a distance \u2013 a tiny figure walking Manhattan streets and avenues among many other tiny figures, a foreigner whose visa had almost run out \u2013 we come upon only the external appearance of Srila Prabhupada. These days of struggle were real enough, and very difficult, but his transcendental consciousness was always predominant. He was not living in Manhattan consciousness, but was absorbed in dependence upon Krishna; just as while on the Jaladuta<\/i> he had suffered his heart attacks, his reading of Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i> had supplied him \u201cthe nectarine of life.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He had already succeeded. Certainly he wanted to provide Radha and Krishna a temple in New York, but his success was that he was remembering Krishna, even in New York City in the winter of 1965-66. Whether the world recognized him or not, not a day went by when he did not work on Krishna\u2019s book, Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. And not a day went by when he did not offer food to Krishna and speak on Krishna\u2019s philosophy of Bhagavad-gita.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, \u201cFor one who sees Me everywhere and sees everything in Me, I am never lost to him and he is never lost to Me.\u201d And Krishna assures His pure devotee that, \u201cMy devotee will never be vanquished.\u201d There was never any doubt about this for Prabhupada. The only question was whether Americans would take notice of the pure devotee in their midst. At this point, it seemed that no one was going to take him seriously. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Free to Preach<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Room 307 at 72nd<\/sup> Street was never meant for use as a residence or ashram or lecture hall. It was only a small, narrow office without furniture or a telephone. Its door held a large pane of frosted glass, the kind common in all offices; above the door was a glass-paneled transom. Prabhupada placed his blankets on the floor before his metal foot locker, which now became a makeshift desk where he wrote. He slept on the floor. There were no facilities here for cooking, or even for bathing, so daily he had to walk to Dr. Mishra\u2019s apartment.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When he had lived in Room 501 at Dr. Mishra\u2019s yoga ashram, Dr. Mishra had financed his needs. But now Prabhupada was on his own, and whatever he could raise by selling his books, he would have to use for his daily maintenance and for the monthly rent of seventy-two dollars. He noted that for a little powdered chili, the West End Superette charged twenty-five cents, ten times what he would have paid in India. He had no guaranteed income, his expenses had increased and his physical comforts had reduced. But at least he had his own place. Now he was free to preach as he liked. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Source of New Life<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Moving out of the yoga studio into the small office downstairs gave Prabhupada what he was looking for \u2013 his own place \u2013 but not even euphemistically could that place be called a temple. His name was on the door; anyone seeking him there could find him. Who would come there? By its opulence and beauty, a temple was supposed to attract people. But Room 307 was just the opposite: it was bare poverty. Even a person interested in spiritual topics would find it uncomfortable to sit on the rugless floor of the room shaped like a narrow railroad car. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One of Dr. Mishra\u2019s students had donated a reel-to-reel tape recorder and Prabhupada recorded some of his solitary bhajanas<\/i>, which he sang to his own accompaniment on hand cymbals. He also recorded a long, philosophical essay, Introduction to Gitopanisad.<\/i> \u201cEven if no one attends,\u201d Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati had told him, \u201cyou can go on chanting to the four walls.\u201d But since he was now free to speak his message in the new situation God had provided, he decided to lecture three evenings a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) to whoever would come. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His first audiences consisted mainly of people who had heard about him, or met him, at Dr. Mishra\u2019s yoga studio. And despite the poverty of his room, the meetings became a source of new life to him. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 25, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Letter to Sumati Morarji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada expressed his optimism about his situation in a letter to Sumati Morarji:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was very much encouraged when you wrote to say, \u201cI feel that you should stay there until you fully recover from your illness, and return only after you have completed your mission.\u201d I think these lines dictated to you are the words of Lord Bala Krishna expressed through your goodness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

You will be pleased to know that I have improved my health back to normal, and my missionary work is nicely progressing. I hope my project to start a temple of Sri Sri Radha-Krishna will be realized by the grace of the Lord.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Since I came to New York from Butler, Pennsylvania, I have rented the above room at seventy dollars per month, and I am delivering lectures on the Bhagwat-gitaand Sriman-Bhagwatam, accompanied by sankirtana<\/i>. And the American ladies and gentlemen come to hear me. You will be surprised to know that they do not understand the language of sankirtana<\/i>, yet they hear with attention. The movement which I have started here is completely new to them, because Americans are generally acquainted with the Indian yoga gymnastics as performed by some Indian yogis here. They have never heard of the bhakti<\/i> cult, of the science of Krishna before, and still they are hearing me. This is a great success for me. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 26, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t Turn Your Attention, Just Hear\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Outside the closed windows of the Room 307, the late winter night had fallen. Prabhupada\u2019s words are punctuated with the muted sounds of car horns and occasional sirens from the street, and sometimes the startling chords of a lonely fog horn on the Hudson. Although bare, the room is warm. Prabhupada is speaking on the second chapter of Bhagavad-gita<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now Arjuna is perplexed. He is perplexed about whether to fight or not to fight. After seeing in front of him his relatives, with whom he was to fight, he was perplexed. And there was some argument with Krishna. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now here is a point: Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead\u2026.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s voice is earnest, persuading. Sometimes his speech becomes high-pitched and breaks with urgency. His cultured British diction bears a heavy, Bengali accent. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Suddenly, he pauses in his lecture and addresses someone in the room. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: What is that?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Man: What?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: What is this book?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Man: Well, this is a translation of the Bhagavad-gita.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is obviously displeased that while he is speaking, someone is looking through a book. This is hardly like the respect offered to learned speakers described in the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Well, no, you can hear me.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Man: I <\/i>am hearing.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Yes, don\u2019t turn your attention, just hear me.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He is taking the role of a teacher correcting his student. Of course, there is no compelling reason why any of his casual guests should feel obliged to obey him. He simply begs for their attention, and yet he demands it \u2013 \u201cjust hear me\u201d \u2013 as he attempts to convince them of Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One is Free to Regard His Talks As He Likes<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although his audience may be momentarily enamored by what appears to be a description of Indian social customs, a careful listener can grasp the greater context of Prabhupada\u2019s speech: everyone must accept a spiritual master. It\u2019s a heavy topic for a casual audience. What is the need of taking a spiritual master? Isn\u2019t this just for India? But he says, \u201cEveryone should have a spiritual master.\u201d What is a spiritual master, anyway? Maybe he means that accepting a spiritual master is just another cultural item from Hinduism, like the sacred thread, or the part in a woman\u2019s hair, or the widow\u2019s dress. The audience can easily regard the discussion as a kind of cultural exposition, just as one comfortably watches a film about the living habits of people in a foreign land, although one has no intention of adapting those habits as one\u2019s own. The Swami is wearing one of those threads on his body, but that\u2019s for Hindus, and it doesn\u2019t mean that Americans should wear them. But these Hindu beliefs are interesting. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Actually, Prabhupada has no motive but to present the Absolute Truth as he has heard it in disciplic succession. But if anyone in that railroad car-shaped room were to ask himself, \u201cShould I surrender to a spiritual master?\u201d he would be confronted by the existential presence of a genuine guru. One is free to regard his talk as one likes.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 28, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBut If the Disciple is In Ignorance \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is speaking on the qualifications of a spiritual master and a disciple:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Suppose you accept the wrong person as a spiritual master and he guides you wrongly. Then your whole life is spoiled. So one has to accept a spiritual master whose guidance will make one\u2019s life perfect. That is the relationship between spiritual master and disciple. It is not a formality. It is a great responsibility, both for the disciple and the spiritual master. <\/i>\u2026 Yes? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Student: But if the disciple is in ignorance before \u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Yes. <\/i>(Prabhupada acknowledges a serious question. It is for answering questions like this \u2013 from \u201cdisciples in ignorance\u201d \u2013 that he has left retirement in India and come to America.)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Student: \u2026 how does he know which master to choose? \u2013 Because he doesn\u2019t have the knowledge to make a wise decision. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Yes. So, the first thing is that one should be searching after a spiritual master, just as you search after some school, you must at least have some preliminary knowledge of what a school is. You can\u2019t search for a school and go to a cloth shop. If you are so ignorant that you do not know what is a school and what is a cloth shop, then it is very difficult for you. You must know, at least, what a school is. So that knowledge is like this: <\/i> <\/p>\n

tad-vij\u00f1\u0101n\u0101rtha\u1e41 sa gurum ev\u0101bhigacchet
\nsamit-p\u0101\u1e47i\u1e25 \u015brotriya\u1e41 brahma-ni\u1e63\u1e6dham<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

According to this verse, the spiritual master is required for a person who is inquisitive about transcendental knowledge. There is another verse in the <\/i>Srimad-Bhagavatam: \u201cOne should search after a spiritual master, and if one is inquisitive about transcendental subject matters.\u201d Unless one is at least conversant with preliminary knowledge of transcendental matters, how can he inquire from the spiritual master?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His questioner seems satisfied. The lecture is not a prepared speech on a specific subject, though grave and thorough in scholarship, it ranges over several philosophical points. Yet he never pauses, groping for words. He knows exactly what he wants to say, and it is only a question of how much his audience can take.<\/p>\n

March 29, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Exploring His Western Audience<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a> Sometimes his mood is light, and he commiserates with his fellow New Yorkers, chuckling about the difficulties they share: \u201cSuppose there is a heavy snowfall, the whole New York City is flooded with snow, and you are all put into inconvenience. That is a sort of suffering, but you have no control over it.\u201d Sometimes he praises Dr. Mishra\u2019s students for having learned so nicely from their teacher: \u201cNow, what Dr. Mishra is teaching is very nice. He is teaching that first of all you must know, \u2018Who am I?\u2019 That is very good, but that \u2018Who am I?\u2019 can be known from Bhagavad-gita <\/i>also \u2013 \u2018I am not this body.\u2019\u201d And sometimes a guest suddenly speaks out with an irrelevant question, and the Swami patiently tries to consider it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Yet behind his tolerance, Prabhupada\u2019s mood is always one of urgency. Sometimes he talks quickly, and one senses his desire to establish Krishna consciousness in the West as soon as possible. He has no followers, only a few books, no temples, and he openly states that he is racing against time: \u201cI am an old man. I could leave at any time.\u201d So, behind the full delivery of Krishna conscious philosophy is an anxiety, an almost desperate desire to convince at least one soul to take up Krishna consciousness immediately. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now the constrained situations of Butler and the Ananda Ashram and Dr. Mishra are behind him, he is free to speak about the Absolute Truth in full. Throughout his life he has prepared for this, yet he is still discovering the best ways to present Krishna, exploring his Western audience, testing their reactions. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 30, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No One Has Seen a Picture of Krishna<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is speaking: We should always remember that He is God. He is all-powerful. In strength, no one could conquer Him. In beauty \u2013 as far as beauty is concerned \u2013 when He was on the battlefield \u2026 Have any of you seen a picture of Krishna? Have any of you ever seen Krishna? Oh \u2026 no? <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prahbupada\u2019s voice fades as he pauses, looking out at his audience. No one has ever seen Krishna. None of them have the slightest previous knowledge of Lord Krishna. In India, hundreds of millions worship Lord Krishna daily as the eternal form of all beauty and truth, and view His graceful form in sculpture, painting and dance. His philosophical teachings in Bhagavad-gita<\/i> are all famous. And Prabhupada is His intimate emissary. Yet the ladies and gentlemen in Room 307 look back at the Swami blankly. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

March 31, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cI Have to Execute My Duty\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is discussing the real meaning of going to a sacred place in India. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One should go to a sacred place in order to find some intelligent scholar in spiritual knowledge living there and make association with him. Just like I \u2026 My residence is at Vrindavana. So, at Vrindavana, there are many big scholars and saintly persons living. So one should go to such holy places, not simply to take bath in the water. One must be intelligent enough to find some spiritually advanced man living there and take instruction from him and be benefited by that. If a man has no attraction for hearing from learned people there, he is considered to be an ass. (He laughs.) So, the whole civilization is moving like a civilization of cows and asses. Everyone is identifying with the body \u2026 Yes, you want to speak?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Woman: In the places known as secret places \u2013<\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Sacred. Yes.<\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Woman: Is it \u201csacred\u201d places?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Yes.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Woman: Isn\u2019t it also a fact that there is more magnetism because of the meeting of saints and more advanced people?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Oh yes. Certainly. Certainly. Therefore the place itself has got some magnetism.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Woman: Yes, and when \u2013<\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Just like at Vrindavana \u2013 that is practical. Here I am now sitting in New York, the world\u2019s greatest city, such a magnificent city, but my heart is always hankering after that Vrindavana.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Woman: Yes<\/i>. (Laughs.) <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Yes, I am not happy here.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Woman: Yes, I know. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: I shall be very happy to return to my Vrindavana, that sacred place, but then, \u2018Why are you here?\u2019 Because it is my duty. I have brought some message for you people. Because I have been ordered by my superior, my spiritual master: \u201cWhatever you have learned, you should go to the Western countries and you must distribute this knowledge.\u201d So, in spite of all my difficulties, all my inconveniences, I am here because I am obligated by duty. If I go and sit down in Vrindavana, that would be good for my personal conveniences \u2013 I shall be very comfortable there and will have no anxiety, nothing of the sort, but I have taken all this risk in this old age because I am duty-bound. I am duty-bound, so I have to execute my duty despite all my inconveniences. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

April 1, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Paradox Restaurant<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Paradox, at 64 East 7th<\/sup> Street on the Lower East Side, was a restaurant dedicated to the philosophy of George Ohsawa and the macrobiotic diet. It was a storefront below street level with small dining tables placed around the candlelit room. The food was inexpensive and well-reputed. Tea was served free, as much as you liked. More than just a restaurant, The Paradox was a center for spiritual and cultural interests, a meeting place reminiscent of the cafes of Greenwich Village or Paris in the 1920s. A person could spend the whole day at The Paradox without buying anything, and no one would complain. The crowd at the Paradox was a mystical congregation, interested in teachings from the East. When news of the new Swami uptown at Dr. Mishra\u2019s reached The Paradox, the word spread quickly.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 2, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bill Epstein<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey Cohen and Bill Epstein were friends. Harvey was a freelance artist and Bill worked at The Paradox. After Harvey had been to Prabhupada\u2019s place at Dr. Mishra\u2019s yoga studio a few times, he came by The Paradox and began to describe all about the new Swami to Bill and other friends.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bill: I was working at The Paradox one night and Harvey came to me and said, \u201cI went to visit Mishra and there\u2019s a new Swami there, and he\u2019s really fantastic!\u201d Well I was involved in macrobiotics and Buddhism, so at first, I couldn\u2019t care less. But Harvey was a winning and warm personality and he seemed interested in this. He said, \u2018Why don\u2019t you come uptown? I would like you to see this.\u2019<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So I went to one of the lectures on 72<\/i>nd<\/i><\/sup> Street. I walked in there and I could feel a certain presence from the Swami. He had a certain very concentrated, intense appearance. He looked pale and kind of weak. I guess he had just come here and had been through a lot of things. He was sitting there chanting on his beads, which he carried in a little bead bag. One of Dr. Mishra\u2019s students was talking and he finally got around to introducing the Swami. He said, \u201cWe are the moons to the Swami\u2019s sun.\u201d He introduced him in that way. The Swami got up and talked. I didn\u2019t know what to think about it. At that time, the only steps I had taken in regard to Indian teachings were with Ramakrishna, and this was the first time, to my knowledge, that bhakti religion had come to America.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bill Epstein was a dashing, romantic person with long, wavy dark hair and a beard. He was good-looking and effervescent, and took upon himself a role of informing people at the restaurant of the City\u2019s spiritual news. Once he became interested in the new Swami, he made the Swami an ongoing topic of conversation at the restaurant. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bill: I went in the back and asked Richard, the manager, \u201cI am going to take some food to the Swami. You don\u2019t mind, do you?\u201d He said, \u201cNo, take anything you want.\u201d So I took some brown rice and other stuff and I brought it up there. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I went upstairs and I knocked on the door and there was no answer. I knocked again and I saw that the light was on \u2013 because it had a glass panel \u2013 and finally he answered. I was really scared because I had never really accepted any teacher. He said, \u201cCome in! Come in! Sit down.\u201d We started talking and he said to me, \u201cThe first thing that people do when they meet is to show each other love. They exchange names, they exchange something to eat.\u201d So, he gave me a slice of apple and he showed me the tape recorder he had, probably for recording his chants. Then he said, \u201cHave you ever chanted?\u201d I said, \u201cNo, I haven\u2019t chanted before.\u201d So he played a chant, and then he spoke to me some more. He said, \u201cYou must come back.\u201d I said, \u201cWell, if I come back, I\u2019ll bring you some more food.\u201d <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

James Greene<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

James Greene, a thirty-year-old carpentry teacher at Cooper Union, was delving into Eastern philosophy. He lived on the same block as The Paradox and began hearing about the Swami from Harvey Cohen and Bill Epstein, while regularly taking his evening meal at the restaurant. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

James: It was really Harvey and Bill who got things going. I remember one evening at Mishra\u2019s in which Swamiji was only a presence, but did not speak. Mishra\u2019s students seemed more into the bodily aspect of yoga. This seemed to be one of Swamiji\u2019s complaints. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His room on 72<\/i>nd<\/i><\/sup> Street was quite small. He was living in a fairly narrow room with the door on the one end. Swamiji would set himself up along one side and we were rather closely packed. It would have been no more than eight feet wide, and it was rather dim. He sat on his thin mattress, and then we sat on the floor. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We wouldn\u2019t chant. We would just come and he would lecture. There was no direction, other than the lecture on the <\/i>Bhagavad-gita. I had read a lot of literature and in my own way I was looking for a master, I think. I have no aggression in me, or go-getting quality. I was really just a listener, and this seemed right \u2013 hearing the <\/i>Bhagavad-gita \u2013 so I kept coming. It just seemed as if things would grow from there. More and more people began coming. Then it got crowded and he had to find another place. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The New Hip Crowd<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The new group from The Paradox was young and hip, in contrast to the elder, more conservative uptown people who had been attending Prabhupada\u2019s classes. In those days, it was still unusual to see a person with long hair and a beard, and once such people started coming to the Swami\u2019s meetings on the West Side, some of the older people were alarmed. As one of them noted: \u201cSwami Bhaktivedanta began to pick up another kind of people. He picked them up at the Bowery; or some addicts. And they came with funny hats and grey blankets wrapped around themselves, and they startled me. <\/p>\n

April 5, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Invitation Downtown<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

David Allen, a twenty-one-year-old seeker who came up from the Paradox, had just moved to the City, optimistically attracted by what he had read about experimentation with drugs. He saw the old group as \u201ca kind of fussbudgety group of older women on the West Side listening to the Swami\u2019s lectures.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

David: We weren\u2019t known as hippies then, but it was strange for the people who had originally been attracted to him. It was different for them to relate to this new group. I think most of the teachers from India up to that time had older followers, and sometimes wealthy widows would provide a source of income. But Swamiji changed right away to the younger, poorer group of people. The next thing that happened was that Bill Epstein and others began talking about how it would be better for the Swami to come downtown to the Lower East Side. Things were really happening down there, and somehow they weren\u2019t happening uptown. People downtown really needed him. Downtown was right, and it was ripe. There was life down there. There was a lot of energy going around. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 6, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Burglary in Prabhupada\u2019s Room<\/p>\n

April 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Someone broke into Room 307 while Srila Prabhupada was out and stole his typewriter and tape recorder. When Prabhupada returned to the building, the janitor informed him of the theft: an unknown burglar had broken the transom glass, climbed through, taken the valuables and escaped. As Prabhupada listened, he became convinced that the janitor himself was the culprit. Of course he couldn\u2019t prove it, so he accepted the loss with disappointment. Some friends offered replacements for his old typewriter and tape recorder. In a letter to India he described the theft as a loss of more than a thousand rupees ($157.00).<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is understood that such crime as has been committed in my room is very common in New York. This is the way of material nature. American people have everything in ample, and the worker gets about Rs 100 daily wages. And still there are thieves for want of character. The social condition is not very good. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Discussing Plans to Return to India<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had told Joseph Foerster, the Scindia ticket agent, that he would be returning to India in a couple of months. That was seven months ago. Now for the first time since his arrival, Prabhupada had returned to the Scindia office in Brooklyn. He talked about the theft to Mr. Foerster who responded with, \u201cWelcome to the club,\u201d and told Prabhupada about the recent theft of his own automobile. Such things, he explained, were not unusual for New York City. He told Prabhupada of the dangers of the City and how to avoid thefts and muggings. Prabhupada listened, shaking his head. He told Mr. Foerster that American young people were misguided and confused. He discussed his plans for returning to India and showed Mr. Foerster one of his Bhagavatams<\/i>. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 8, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey Offers Prabhupada His Studio on the Bowery<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had lost his spirit for living in Room 307. What would prevent the janitor from stealing again? Harvey Cohen and Bill Epstein had invited him to relocate downtown and had assured him of a more interested following among the young people there. It had been an attractive proposal, and he began to reconsider it. Then Harvey offered Prabhupada his studio on the Bowery.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey had been working as a commercial artist for a Madison Avenue advertising firm when a recently acquired inheritance spurred him to move into a loft on the Bowery to pursue his own career as a painter. But he was becoming disillusioned with New York. A group of acquaintances addicted to heroin had been coming around taking advantage of his generosity, and his loft had recently been burglarized. He decided to leave the City and go to California, but before leaving he offered the loft for Prabhupada to share with David Allen. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

David Allen had heard that Harvey Cohen was moving to San Francisco if he could sublet his loft. Harvey hadn\u2019t known David very long, but on the night before Harvey A.I.R. was supposed to leave, he coincidentally met David three different times in three different places on the Lower East Side. Harvey took this as a sign that he should rent the loft to David, but he specifically stipulated that the Swami should move in. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Bowery Loft<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

94 Bowery was a narrow, four-storey building. It had long ago been painted grey and bore the usual facing of a massive, black fire escape. A well-worn black double door, its glass panels reinforced with chicken wire, opened on to the street. The sign above the door read: \u201cA.I.R. 3rd<\/sup> and 4th<\/sup>\u201d, indicating that artists in residence occupied those floors. Harvey Cohen\u2019s loft on the top floor of 94 Bowery was an open space, almost 100 feet long (from west to east) and twenty-five feet wide. It received a good amount of sunlight on the east, the Bowery side, and it also had windows at the west end, as well as a skylight. The exposed rafters of the ceiling were twelve feet above the floor.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Harvey Cohen had used the loft as an art studio and racks for paintings still lined the walls. A kitchen and shower were partitioned off in the northwest corner and a room divider stood about fifteen feet in the Bowery side windows. This divider did not run from wall to wall, but was open at both ends and was several feet short of the ceiling. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was behind this partition that Prabhupada had his personal living area. A bed and a few chairs stood near the window and Prabhupada\u2019s typewriter sat on his metal trunk next to a small table that held his stacks of Bhagavatam<\/i> manuscripts. His dhotis<\/i> hung drying on a clothesline. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On the other side of the partition was a dais, about ten feet wide and five feet deep, on which Prabhupada sat during his kirtanas<\/i> and lectures. The dais faced west toward the loft\u2019s large open space \u2013 open, that is, except for a couple of rugs and an old-fashioned, solid wood table, and, on an easel, Harvey\u2019s painting of Lord Caitanya dancing with His associates. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada in the Loft<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The loft was a fourth-flight walk-up, and the only entrance, usually heavily bolted, was a door in the rear at the west end. From the outside, this door opened into a hallway that was only lit by a red EXIT light over the door. The hallway led to the right a few steps and into the open area. If a guest entered during the kirtana<\/i> or lecture, he would see the Swami about thirty feet from the entrance seated on his dais. On other evenings, the whole loft would be dark but for the glow of the red EXIT light in the little hallway and a soft illumination radiating from the other side of the partition where Prabhupada was working. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada lived on the Bowery, sitting under a small light, while hundreds of derelicts also sat under hundreds of naked lights on the same city block. He had no more fixed income than the derelicts, or any greater security of a fixed residence, yet his consciousness was different. He was translating Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> into English, speaking to the world through his Bhaktivedanta purports; his duty, whether on the fourteenth floor of a Riverside Drive apartment or in the corner of a Bowery loft, was to establish Krishna consciousness as the prime necessity for all humanity. He went on with his translating and with his constant vision of a Krishna temple in New York City. Because his consciousness was absorbed in Krishna\u2019s universal mission, he did not depend on his surroundings for shelter. Home for him was not a matter of bricks and wood, but of taking shelter of Krishna in every circumstance. As Prabhupada had said to his friends uptown, \u201cEverywhere is my home.\u201d Without Krishna\u2019s shelter, the whole world would become a desolate place.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Often he would refer to a scriptural statement that people live in three different modes: goodness, passion and ignorance. Life in the forest is in the mode of goodness, life in the city is in passion, and life in a degraded place like a liquor shop, a brothel, or the Bowery, is in the mode of ignorance. But to live in the temple of Vishnu is to live in the spiritual world, Vaikuntha, which is transcendental to all material worlds.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And this Bowery loft where Prabhupada was holding his meetings and performing kirtana<\/i> was also transcendental. When he was behind the partition working in his corner before the open pages of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, that room was as good as his room back at the Radha-Damodara Temple in Vrindavana.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Word Spreads<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

News of the Swami\u2019s move to the Bowery loft spread, mostly by word of mouth at the Paradox restaurant, and people began to come by in the evening to chant with him. The musical kirtanas<\/i> were especially popular on the Bowery, since the Swami\u2019s new congregation consisted mostly of local musicians and artists who responded more to the transcendental music than to the philosophy. Every morning he would hold a class on Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> attended by David Allen, Robert Nelson and another boy, and occasionally he would teach cooking to whoever was interested. He was usually available for personal talks with any inquiring visitors, or with his new roommate. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although Prabhupada and David each had a designated living area in the large loft, the entire place soon became dominated by Prabhupada\u2019s preaching activities. Prabhupada and David got on well together and, at first, Prabhupada considered David an aspiring disciple.<\/p>\n

April 12, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

David Allen<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada wrote to his friends in India, describing his relationship with his new roommate in the Bowery loft, David Allen.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He was attending the class at 72nd<\/sup> Street along with others, and when I experienced this theft case in my room, he invited me to his residence. So I am with him and training him. He has good prospect because he has already given up all bad habits. In this country, illicit connection with women, smoking, drinking and eating of meats are common affairs. But by my request he has given up 90% of his old habits, and he is chanting Maha-mantra<\/i> regularly. So I am giving him the chance and I think he is improving. Tomorrow I have arranged for some prasadam<\/i> distribution, and he has gone to purchase some things from the market.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When David first came to the Bowery, he appeared like a clean-cut college student. He was twenty-one, six feet tall, blue-eyed, handsome and intelligent looking. Most of his new friends in New York were older and considered him a kid. David\u2019s family lived in East Lansing, Michigan, and his mother was paying $100.00 monthly to sublease the loft. Although he did not have much experience, he had read that a new realm of mind expansion was available through psychedelic drugs, and he was heading fast into the hazardous world of LSD. His meeting with the Swami came at a time of radical change and profoundly affected his life. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

David: It was a really good relationship I had with the Swami, but I was overwhelmed by the tremendous energy of being that close to him. It spurred my consciousness very fast. Even my dreams at night would be so vivid of Krishna consciousness. I was often sleeping when the Swami was up, because he was up late in the night working on his translations. That is possibly where a lot of the consciousness in dreams just flowed in, because a lot of that deep relationship. It also had to do with studying Sanskrit. There was a lot of immediate impact with the language. The language seemed to have a strong mystical quality, the way he translated it word-for-word. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 13, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carl Yeargens<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

New people began coming to see Prabhupada on the Bowery. Carl Yeargens, a thirty-three year-old, black, bearded man from the Bronx had attended Cornell University and was now independently studying Indian religion and Zen Buddhism. He had experimented with drugs as \u201cpsychedelic tools\u201d and he had an interest in the music and poetry of India. He was influential among his friends and tried to interest them in meditation. He had even been dabbling in Sanskrit.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carl: I had just finished reading a book called <\/i>The Wonder That Was India. I had gotten the definition of a <\/i>sannyasi and a <\/i>brahmacari and so forth. There was a vivid description in that particular book of how you could see a <\/i>sannyasi coming down the road with his saffron robe. It must have made more than a superficial impression on me, because it came to me on this one chilly evening. I was going to visit Michael Grant \u2013 probably going to smoke some marijuana and sit around, maybe play some music \u2013 and I was coming down Hester Street. If you make a left on the Bowery, you can go up to Mike\u2019s place on Grand Street. But it\u2019s a funny thing that I chose to go that way, because the shorter way would have been to go down Grand Street. But if I had gone that way, I probably would have missed Swamiji. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So I decided to go down Hester and make a left. All of a sudden I saw in this dingy alcove, a brilliant saffron robe. As I passed, I saw it was Swamiji knocking on the door, trying to gain entrance. There were two bums hunched up against the door. It was like a two-part door \u2013 one of them was sealed and the other was locked. The two bums were lying on either side of Swamiji. One of these men had actually expired \u2013 which often happened and you had to call the police or health department to get them. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think I saw the men lying in the doorway until I walked up to Swamiji and asked him, \u201cAre you a sannyasi?\u201d And he answered, \u201cYes.\u201d We started this conversation about how he was starting a temple, and he mentioned Lord Caitanya and the whole thing. He just came out with this flow of strange things to me, right there in the street. But I knew what he was talking about somehow. I had the familiarity of having just read this book and delved into Indian religion. So I knew that this was a momentous occasion for me and I wanted to help him. We banged on the door and eventually we got into the loft. He invited me to come to a <\/i>kirtana, and I came back later that night for my first <\/i>kirtana. From that point on, it was a fairly regular thing \u2013 three times a week. At one point Swamiji asked me to stay with him, and I stayed for about two weeks.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 14, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sanskrit Lessons<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was perhaps because of Carl\u2019s interest in Sanskrit that Prabhupada began holding Sanskrit classes. Carl and David and a few others would spend hours learning Sanskrit under Prabhupada\u2019s guidance. Using a chalkboard he found in the loft, Prabhupada taught the alphabet, and his students wrote their exercises in his notebooks. Prabhupada would look over their shoulders to see if they were writing correctly and he would review their pronunciation. His students were learning not simply Sanskrit, but the instructions of Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. Each day he would give them a verse to copy in the Sanskrit alphabet (devanagari<\/i>), transliterated into the Roman alphabet, and then translated word-for-word into English. But their interest in Sanskrit waned, and Prabhupada gradually gave up the daily classes to spend time working on his own translation of the Srimad-Bhagavatam.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His new friends may have regarded these lessons as Sanskrit classes, but actually they were bhakti<\/i> classes. He had not come to America as the ambassador of Sanskrit; his Guru Maharaj had ordered him to teach Krishna consciousness. But since he had found in Carl and some of his friends a desire to investigate Sanskrit, he encouraged it. As a youth, Lord Caitanya had also started a Sanskrit school with the real purpose of teaching love of Krishna. He would teach in such a way that every word meant Krishna, and once His students objected, He closed the school. Similarly, when Prabhupada found his students\u2019 interest in Sanskrit was transitory, and since he himself had no mission on behalf of Sanskrit linguistics, he gave it up. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 15, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Evening Kirtanas<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada held his evening meetings on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, just as he had uptown. The loft was out of the way for most of his acquaintances and it was on the Bowery. A cluster of sleeping derelicts regularly blocked the street-level entrance, and the visitors would find as many as half a dozen bums to step over before climbing the four flights of stairs. But it was something new; you could go and sit with a group of hip people and watch the Swami lead kirtana<\/i>. The room was dimly lit, and Prabhupada would burn incense. Many casual visitors came and went. One of them \u2013 Gunther \u2013 had vivid impressions.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Gunther: You walked right off the Bowery into a room filled with incense. It was quiet. Everyone was talking in hushed tones, not really talking at all. Swamiji was sitting in the front of the room in meditation. There was a tremendous feeling of peace, which I had never had before. I happened to have studied for two years to become a minister and was into meditation, study and prayer, but this was my first time to do anything Eastern or Hindu. There were lots of pillows around and mats on the floor for people to sit on. I don\u2019t think there were any pictures of statues. It was just Swamiji, incense and mats, and obviously the respect of the people in the room for him. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 16, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Attraction of Sound<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carol: It was a very interracial, music-oriented scene. There were a few professional musicians, and a lot of people who enjoyed playing or just listening. Some people were painting in some of the lofts. And that\u2019s basically what was going on. We had memorable <\/i>kirtanas. One time there was a beautiful ceremony. Some of us went over early to prepare for it. There must have been a hundred people who came that day.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

For the Bowery crowd, sound was spirit and spirit was sound, in a merging of music and meditation. But for Prabhupada, music without the name of God wasn\u2019t meditation; it was sense gratification, or at most, a kind of stylized, impersonal meditation. But he was glad to see the musicians coming to play along in his kirtanas<\/i>, to hear him and to chant responsively. Some, having stayed up all night playing somewhere on their instruments, would come by in the morning and sing with the Swami. He did not dissuade them from their focus on sound; rather, he gave them sound. In the Vedas<\/i>, sound is said to be the first element in the material creation; the source of sound is God and God is eternally a person. Prabhupada\u2019s emphasis was on getting people to chant God\u2019s personal, transcendental name. Whether they took it as jazz, folk music, rock, or Indian meditation made no difference, as long as they began to chant Hare Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carol: Whenever he had the chanting, the people were fairly in awe of the Swami. On the Bowery a kind of transcendence came out in a ringing of the cymbals. He used the harmonium and many people played hand cymbals. Sometimes he played the drum. In the very beginning he stressed the importance of sound, and the realization of Godhead through sound. That was, I suppose, the attraction that these musicians found in him \u2013 the emphasis on sound as a means to attaining transcendence in the Godhead. But he wanted a serious thing. He was interested in discipleship.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 17, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Michael Grant<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One serious newcomer was Michael Grant. Mike was twenty-four. His father, who was Jewish, owned a record shop in Portland, Oregon where Mike grew up. After studying music at Portland\u2019s Reed College and at San Francisco State, Mike, who played the piano and many other instruments, moved to New York City, along with his girlfriend, hoping to get into music professionally. But he quickly became disenchanted with the commercial music scene. Playing in nightclubs and pandering to commercial demands seemed particularly unappealing. In New York he joined a musicians\u2019 union and worked as a musical arranger and as an agent for several local groups. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mike lived on the Bowery in an A.I.R. loft on Grand Street. It was a large loft where musicians often congregated for jam sessions. But as he turned more and more to serious composing, he found himself retiring from the social side of the music scene. His interest ran more to the spiritual, quasi-spiritual and mystical books he had been reading. He had encountered several swamis, yogis, and Southside spiritualists in the City, and had taken up hatha<\/i> yoga. From his first meeting with the Swami, Mike was interested and quite open \u2013 as he was with all religious persons. He thought that all genuinely religious people were good, although he did not care to identify with any particular group. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mike: There was a little bit of familiarity because I had seen other swamis. The way he was dressed, the way he looked \u2013 older and swarthy \u2013 weren\u2019t new to me. But at the same time, there was an element of novelty. I was very curious. I didn\u2019t hear him talk when I first came in. He was just chanting. But mainly I was waiting to hear what he was going to say. I had already heard people chant before. I thought, why else would he put himself in such a place, without any comfort, unless the message he\u2019s trying to get across is more important than his own comfort? I think the thing that struck me most was the poverty that was all around him. This was curious, because the places I had been before had been just the opposite \u2013 very opulent. There was a Vedanta center in Upper Manhattan, and others. They were filled with staid, older men with their leather chairs and pipe tobacco \u2013 that kind of environment. But this was real poverty. The whole thing was curious.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami looked very refined, which was also curious \u2013 that he was in this place. When he talked I immediately saw that he was a scholar, and that he spoke with great conviction. Some statements he made were very daring. He was talking about God and all this was new, to hear someone talk about God. I always wanted to hear someone I could respect talk about God. I always liked to hear religious speakers, but I measured them very carefully. When he spoke I began to think, \u201cWell here is someone talking about God who may really have some realization of God.\u201d He was the first one I had come across who might be a person of God, who could feel really deeply.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 18, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dovetailing With the Supreme Consciousness<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami\u2019s main stress is on what he calls \u201cdovetailing your consciousness with the Supreme Consciousness\u201d\u2026 Krishna is the Supreme Consciousness. Arjuna, as the representative individual consciousness, is asked to act intelligently in collaboration with the Supreme Consciousness, then he will be free from the bondage of birth, death, old age and disease. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Consciousness<\/i> is a popular word in America. There\u2019s consciousness expansion, cosmic consciousness, altered states of consciousness, and now \u2013 dovetailing the individual consciousness with the Supreme Consciousness. This is the perfection of consciousness, Prabhupada explains. This is the love and peace that everyone is really after. And yet, Prabhupada talks of it in terms of war. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So we shall not suffer a pinch if we dovetail our desires with the Supreme Lord. We simply have to learn the art \u2013 how to dovetail. Nothing has to be changed. The fighting man did not change into an artist or a musician. If you are a fighting man, you remain a fighting man. If you are a musician, you remain a musician. If you are a medical man, you remain a medical man. Whatever you are, you remain. But dovetail it. If by my eating the Lord is satisfied, then that is my perfection. If by my fighting the Lord is satisfied, then that is my perfection. So in every sphere of life, we have to know whether the Lord is satisfied. That technique we have to learn. Then it is as easy as anything. We have to stop creating our own plans and thoughts and take the perfect plans from the Supreme Lord and execute them. That will become the perfection of our life.<\/i><\/p>\n

April 19, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Cutting the Knot of Ignorance and Illusion<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Speaking vigorously in the Bowery loft, even until he becomes physically exhausted \u2013 sometimes shouting, sometimes pleading, sometimes laughing \u2013 he gives his audience as much as he feels they can take. As the emissary of Krishna in the disciplic succession, he can boldly shout that everyone should dovetail with the Supreme. He can speak as strongly as he likes for as long as they are willing to listen. He is a sadhu<\/i> (the Sanskrit word means \u201csaint\u201d and \u201cone who cuts\u201d) and he repeats the same message that for thousands of years sadhus<\/i> of the original Vedic culture have spoken. He is reviving the eternal spirit of Vedic wisdom \u2013 to cut the knots of ignorance and illusion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Everything is illusion. From the beginning of our birth. And that illusion is so strong it is very difficult to get out of. The whole thing is illusion. Birth is illusion. The body is illusion. The bodily relationship and the country are illusion. The father is illusion. The mother is illusion. The wife is illusion. The children are illusion. Everything is illusion. And we are contacting that illusion, thinking we are very learned and advanced. We are imagining so many things. But as soon as death comes \u2013 the actual fact \u2013 then we forget everything. We forget our country. We forget our relatives. We forget our wife, children, father, mother. Everything is gone.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Michael Grant <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Michael Grant: I went up to him after his lecture in the loft. I had the same feeling I\u2019d had on other occasions when I\u2019d been to hear famous people in concerts. I was always interested in going by after concerts to see musicians and singers, just to meet them and see what they were like. I had a similar feeling after Swamiji spoke, so I went up and started talking. But the experience was different from the others in that he wasn\u2019t in a hurry. He could talk to me, whereas with others all you could do was get in a few words. They were always more interested in something else. But he was a person who was actually showing some interest in me as a person, and I was so overwhelmed that I quickly ran out of things to say. I was surprised. Our meeting broke off on the basis of my not having anything further to say. It was just the opposite of so many other experiences where some performer would be hurrying off to do something else. This time, I was the one who couldn\u2019t continue.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Liked to Take Walks<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada liked to take walks. From his doorstep at 94 Bowery he would see directly across the street the Fulton Hotel, a five-storey flophouse. Surrounding him were other lower Manhattan lodging houses whose tenants wandered the sidewalks from early morning until dark. An occasional flock of pigeons would stir and fly from one rooftop to the next, or descend to the street. Traffic was heavy. The Bowery was part of a truck route to and from Brooklyn by way of the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Bowery sloped gently downhill toward the north. Prabhupada could see signboards, a few scraggly Manhattan trees, and streetlights and traffic signals as far up as Fourth Street. He could see Con Edison with its prominent clock tower, and (if there were no clouds) the top of the Empire State Building on Thirty-fourth Street.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He would walk alone in the morning through the Bowery neighborhood. The month of May that year saw more frequent rains than was normal, and Prabhupada carried an umbrella. Sometimes he walked in the rain. He was not always alone; sometimes he walked with one of his new friends and talked. Sometimes he shopped. Bitter melon, dal<\/i>, hing, chickpea flour and other specialty foods common in Indian vegetarian cuisine were available in Chinatown\u2019s nearby markets. On leaving the loft, he would walk south a few steps to the corner of Bowery and Hester Street. Turning right on Hester, he would immediately be in Chinatown where the shops, markets, and even the Manhattan Savings Bank were identified by signs lettered in Chinese. Sometimes he would walk one block further south to Canal Street with its Central Asian Food Market and many other streetside fruit and vegetable markets. In the early morning the sidewalks were almost deserted, but as the shops began to open for business the streets became crowded with local workers, shopkeepers, tourists and aimless derelicts. The winding streets of Chinatown were lined with hundreds of small stores. Parked cars lined both sides of the street.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Despite the bad neighborhood where Prabhupada lived and walked, he was rarely disturbed. Often he would find several Bowery bums asleep or unconscious at his door and he would have to step over them. Sometimes a drunk, simply out of his inability to maneuver, would bump into him; or a derelict would mutter something unintelligible or laugh at him. The more sober ones would stand and gesture courteously, ushering the Swami in to or out of his door at 94 Bowery. He would pass among them, acknowledging their good manners as they cleared his path.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Certainly, few of the Bowery men and others who saw him on his walks knew much about the small, elderly Indian sadhu<\/i> dressed in saffron and carrying an umbrella and a brown grocery sack.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Village Voice Reporter<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sitting cross-legged, his back to the shelf with its assortment of potted plants, a whitish chadar<\/i> wrapped in wide, loose folds across his body, Prabhupada looked grave, almost sorrowful. The picture and accompanying article appeared in the June issue of The Village Voice<\/i>. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The article had been written by Howard Smith. He had first heard of the Swami by a phone call from a contact who had told him of an interesting holy man from India living in a loft in the Bowery. \u201cGo there any time,\u201d Howard\u2019s contact had told him. \u201cHe\u2019s always there. I think you will find it fascinating. I believe he\u2019s about to start a major religious movement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard Smith: So I went down there and went upstairs into this very funky artists\u2019 loft. There were carpets all over the place, old and worn out, and a lot of people sitting around in various kinds of hippie garb, plus what I think they must have thought was Indian garb. Most of them were sitting alone around the room facing the wall, like they had nothing to do with each other. They were sitting cross-legged, and each one seemed to be doing something different. Nobody paid any attention to me when I walked in.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I saw shoes lined up and I thought, \u201cMaybe I am supposed to take off my shoes,\u201d but nobody said anything to me. So I walked around the edge of the carpet, looking for somebody to pay attention to me. I wondered what was going on and I didn\u2019t want to interrupt anybody, because they all seemed deep into whatever kind of prayers they were doing.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the back of the loft I noticed a little curtain \u2013 an Indian madras type of curtain \u2013 and so I decided to peer into that area. I looked in and there was Swami Bhaktivedanta sitting there cross-legged in saffron garments, with the markings on his forehead and nose and his hand in the bead bag. Even though he looked like the real thing, he seemed more approachable and I said, \u201cHello,\u201d and he looked up. I said, \u201cSwami Bhaktivedanta?\u201d and he said, \u201cYes.\u201d I said, \u201cI am Howard Smith.\u201d I was expecting to sit down, so I said, \u201cExcuse me, I have to take off my shoes,\u201d and he said, \u201cWhy do you want to take off your shoes?\u201d I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know \u2013 I saw all the shoes out there.\u201d And he said, \u201cI didn\u2019t ask you to take your shoes off.\u201d I said, \u201cWhat are all those people out there doing?\u201d and he said, \u201cI don\u2019t know. And they don\u2019t know what they\u2019re doing. I am trying to teach them and they seem to be misunderstanding me. They are very confused people.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Then we sat and talked and I liked him a lot right away. I mean, I\u2019d met a lot of other swamis and I didn\u2019t like them too much. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s fair to lump them all together and say, \u201cThose swamis in India.\u201d He was very, very basic, and that\u2019s what I seemed to like about him. He not only made me feel at ease, but he seemed very open and honest \u2013 like he asked my advice on things. He was very new in the country.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I thought his ideas stood a good chance of taking hold because he seemed so practical. His head didn\u2019t seem to be in the clouds. He wasn\u2019t talking mysticism every third word. I guess that is where his soul was at, but that isn\u2019t where his normal, conversational consciousness was at.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Then he told me that several people had told him that the <\/i>Voice would be a very good place to be written up, and that basically it would reach the kind of people who already perhaps had a leaning or interest in what he was preaching. I said I thought he was correct. He asked me if I had read any books or knew anything about Indian culture. I said no, I didn\u2019t really. We talked a little and he explained to me that he had these books in English that he had already translated in India. He handed those to me and said, \u201cIf you want more background, you can read these.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was obvious to me that I was not talking to some fellow who had just decided that he had seen God and was going to tell people about it. He seemed to be an educated man, much more so than myself. I liked his humbleness. I just plain liked the guy.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He explained everything I wanted to know \u2013 the significance of what he was wearing, the mark on his forehead, the bead bag. I liked all his explanations. Everything was very practical. Then he talked about temples all over the world and he said, \u201cWell, we have a long way to go. But I am very patient.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mukti Brahmacari<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One day a curious, unsolicited correspondent wrote to Prabhupada from India. His name was Mukti Brahmacari. Introducing himself as a disciple of one of Prabhupada\u2019s godbrothers, and reminding Prabhupada of their past slight acquaintance, Mukti wrote of his eagerness to join Prabhupada in America. Prabhupada still had hopes for getting assistance from his godbrothers in India \u2013 \u201cThis mission is not simply one man\u2019s work.\u201d Therefore, he invited Mukti to come to America and asked him to request his guru to cooperate by working personally to secure government sanction for the release of foreign exchange. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mukti submitted the entire proposal before his spiritual master, who, as Mukti predicted, cancelled the trip. Although Mukti\u2019s guru was Srila Prabhupada\u2019s godbrother, he did not want to be involved and he doubted that Prabhupada would actually get a donation from Padampat Singhania. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And now Mukti Brahmacari also doubted: \u201cIf your program is not bona fide, the approach to a big personality will be a ludicrous one no doubt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On the same day that Prabhupada received the \u201cludicrous\u201d letter, he also received the final blow of noncooperation from the Indian government. Second Secretary Prakash Shah of the Indian Embassy in Washington D.C. wrote:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Due to existing conditions of foreign exchange stringency, it is not possible for the government of India to accede to your request for release of foreign exchange. You may perhaps like to raise funds from residents in America.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was confirmed: Prabhupada would have to work without outside help. He would continue alone in New York City. His last letter to Mukti Brahmacari reveals his deep faith and determination.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So the controversy is now closed and there is no need of help from anyone else. We are not always successful in our attempts at preaching work, but such failures are certainly not ludicrous. In the absolute field, both success and failure are glorious. Even Lord Nityananda pretended to be a failure at converting Jagai and Madhai in the first attempt. Rather, He was personally injured in such an attempt. But that was certainly not ludicrous. The whole thing was transcendental and it was glorious for all parties concerned.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No Help from India<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If Krishna consciousness was ever to take hold in America, it would have to be without assistance from the Indian government or Indian financiers. Not even a lone Indian brahmacari<\/i> would join him. Krishna was revealing His plan to Prabhupada in a different way. With the Singhania-sanction schemes finished and behind him, Prabhupada would turn all his energy toward the young men and women coming to him in his Bowery loft. He wrote to Sumati Morarji:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am now trying to incorporate one corporation of the local friends and admirers under the name International Society for Krishna Conscious.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

David Allen Goes Crazy on LSD<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At first David and the Swami lived together peacefully in the large hall, the Swami working concentratedly on his side of the partition and David ranging throughout the large open space. David, however, continued taking marijuana, LSD and amphetamines. Prabhupada had no choice but to tolerate it. Several times he told David that drugs and hallucinogens would not help him in his spiritual life, but David would look distracted. He was becoming estranged from the Swami.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But Prabhupada had a plan to use the loft as a temple \u2013 to transform it into New York\u2019s first temple of Radha-Krishna \u2013 and he wanted David\u2019s cooperation. Although the neighborhood was one of the most miserable in the world, Prabhupada talked of bringing deities from Jaipur or Vrindavana and starting temple worship, even on the Bowery. He thought David might help. After all, they were roommates, so there could be no question of David\u2019s not cooperating, but he would have to give up his bad habits.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was trying to help David, but David was too disturbed. He was headed for disaster and so were Prabhupada\u2019s plans for the loft. Sometimes, even when not under the influence of a drug, David would pace around the loft. Other times, he appeared to be deep in thought. One day, on a dose of LSD, he went completely crazy. As Carl Yeargens put it, \u201cHe just flipped out and the Swami had to deal with a crazy man.\u201d Things had been leading to this \u2013 \u201che was a crazy kid who always took too much\u201d \u2013 but the real madness happened suddenly.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji was working peacefully at his typewriter when David \u201cfreaked out.\u201d David started moaning and pacing around the large open area of the loft. Then he began yelling, howling and running around. He went back to where the Swami was. Suddenly Prabhupada found himself face-to-face, not with David \u2013 the nice David who he was going to take to India to show the brahmanas<\/i> in Vrindavana \u2013 but a drugged, wild-eyed stranger, a madman.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada tried to speak to him \u2013 \u201cWhat is the matter?\u201d \u2013 but David had nothing to say. There was no particular disagreement. Just madness \u2026 <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada moved quickly down the four flights of stairs. He had not stopped to gather up any of his belongings, or even to decide where he would go or whether he would return. There had been no time to consider anything. He had taken quite a shock and now he was leaving the arena of David\u2019s madness. The usual group of bums was sitting in the doorway and with their customary flourish of courtesy, they allowed him to pass. They were used to the elderly swami\u2019s coming in and going out, going shopping and returning, and they didn\u2019t bother him. But he was not going shopping today. Where was he going? He didn\u2019t know. He had come on to the street without knowing where he would go.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t going back to the loft \u2013 that was for sure. But where could he go? The pigeons flew from roof to roof. Traffic rumbled by and the ever-present bums loitered about getting drunker on cheap, poisonous alcohol. Although Prabhupada\u2019s home had suddenly become a place of insane terror, the street at his door was also a hellish, dangerous place. He was shaken. He could call Dr. Mishra\u2019s and they might take him in, but that chapter of his life was over. He had gone on to something better. He had his own classes, young people chanting and hearing. Was it all over now? After nine months in America, he had finally got good response to his preaching and kirtana<\/i>. He couldn\u2019t quit now.<\/p>\n

April 26, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Moving In With Carl Yeargens<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

How difficult it was becoming to preach in America among these crazy people! He had written prophetically in his poem the day he had arrived in Boston Harbor, \u201cMy dear Lord, I do not know why You have brought me here. Now You can do with me whatever You like. But I guess You have some business here, otherwise why would You bring me to this terrible place?\u201d What about his scheduled classes? What about David \u2013 should he go back and try to talk with the boy? This had been David\u2019s first fit of violence, but there had been other tense moments. David had a habit of leaving the soap on the floor of the shower stall and Prabhupada had asked him not to because it was a hazard. But David wouldn\u2019t listen. Prabhupada had continued to remind him, and one day David had gotten angry and shouted at him. But there was no real enmity. Even today\u2019s incident had not been a matter of personal differences \u2013 the boy was a victim.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada walked quickly. He had free passage on the Scindia Line. He could go home to Vrindavana. But his spiritual master had ordered him to come here. \u201cBy the strong desire of Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura,\u201d he had written while crossing the Atlantic, \u201cthe holy name of Lord Gauranga will spread throughout the countries of the Western world.\u201d Before nightfall he would have to find some place to stay, a way to keep up the momentum of his preaching. This is what it meant to be working without government sponsorship, without the support of any religious organization, without a patron. It meant being vulnerable and insecure. Prabhupada faced the crisis as a test from Krishna. The instruction of Bhagavad-gita<\/i> was to depend on Krishna for protection: \u201cIn all activities just depend upon Me and work always under My protection. In such devotional service be fully conscious of Me \u2026 You will pass over all the obstacles of conditional life by My grace.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He decided to phone Carl Yeargens and ask him to help. Hearing the Swami\u2019s voice on the phone \u2013 it was an emergency! \u2013 Carl at once agreed that Prabhupada could move in with him and his wife, Eva. Their place was close by, on Centre Street, five blocks west of Bowery near Chinatown. Carl would be right over.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 27, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Difficulty Living With Carl<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Yet for Carl and Eva, Prabhupada\u2019s simple presence created difficulty. Never before during his whole stay in America had he been a more inconvenient or unwanted guest. Carl\u2019s studio was arranged for him and his wife to live in alone, using the bedroom, kitchen and living-room any way they liked. If they wanted to smoke marijuana or eat meat or whatever, that was their prerogative, this was Carl\u2019s home; he lived here with his wife Eva and their dogs and cats. But now they had to share it with the Swami.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Almost at once the situation became intolerable for Eva. She resented the Swami\u2019s presence in her home. She was a feminist, a liberated white woman with a black husband and a good job. She didn\u2019t like the Swami\u2019s views on women. She hadn\u2019t read his books or attended his classes, but she had heard that he was opposed to sexual intercourse except for conceiving children, and that in his view, a woman was supposed to be shy and chaste and help her husband in spiritual life. She knew about the Swami\u2019s four rules \u2013 no meat-eating, illicit sex, intoxication or gambling \u2013 and she definitely did not want Carl\u2019s swami trying to change their<\/i> ways to suit his<\/i>. And he had better not expect her to wait on him as his servant. She sensed the Swami objecting to almost everything she did. If she were to seek his advice he would probably ask her to stop taking drugs, get rid of the cats and dogs, stop drinking and stop contraceptive sex. If the Swami had his way, they would probably eat only at certain times and only certain foods. Eva was a heavy smoker, so he probably wouldn\u2019t like being around her. She was ready for a confrontation. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 28, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Need for a New Place<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carol: Carl was trying to be something he really wasn\u2019t, but he would never have suggested that the Swami had to leave. Swami, I am sure, was astute enough to pick up on this tension. As soon as he could, he tried to move to another place. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Gradually Carl reached an impasse in his relationship with Prabhupada. He couldn\u2019t share his life with both his wife and the Swami, and ultimately he was more inclined toward his wife. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carl: I couldn\u2019t see my loft becoming a temple. I was raising cats and dogs, and he wanted them removed. He used to call me a meat-eater. But then he changed our diet. Of course he was hitting the American culture, which doesn\u2019t know what all this business is. I have to put it on myself as much as anyone. I could understand and absorb India through an impersonal agency like a book or a record, but here was the living representative of Godhead, and to me it was as difficult as anything I had ever had to do before or since. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was not insensitive to the distress his presence was causing. He didn\u2019t want to inconvenience anyone. And of course he could have avoided all inconvenience, both for himself and for people like Eva, if he had never come to America. But he wasn\u2019t concerned with convenience or inconvenience, pleasing Eva or displeasing her. He wanted to teach Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had a mission, and Carl\u2019s loft didn\u2019t seem to be the right place for it. Prabhupada\u2019s friends all agreed: he should move more into the center of things. The Bowery and Chinatown were too far out of the way. They would find him a new place. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 29, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Asking Michael Grant for Help<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A week passed, and no one had found a suitable place for the Swami. One day Prabhupada suggested that he and Carl take a walk up to Michael Grant\u2019s place and ask him to help.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mike: I was awakened one morning very early, and Carl was on the phone saying, \u201cSwamiji and I were just taking a walk, and we thought we\u2019d come up and see you.\u201d I said, \u201cBut it\u2019s too early in the morning.\u201d And he said, \u201cWell, Swamiji wants to see you.\u201d They were very near by, just down the street, so I had to quickly get dressed, and by the time I got to the door they were there.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was totally unprepared, but invited them up. The television had been on from the previous night, and there were some cartoons on. The Swami sat between Carl and me on the couch. I was keeping a pet cat, and the cat jumped up on Swamiji\u2019s lap, and he abruptly knocked it off onto the floor. We began to talk, but Swamiji glanced over at the cartoons on the television set and said, \u201cThis is nonsense.\u201d Suddenly I realized that the television was on and that it was nonsense, and I got up very quickly saying, \u201cWhy, yes, it is nonsense,\u201d and turned it off.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As Prabhupada talked, he tried to impress on Mike how difficult it was for him to live with Carl and Eva, and Mike listened. But was the Swami so sure he couldn\u2019t go back to the Bowery loft and live with David Allen? Except for that one incident, it had been a nice setup, hadn\u2019t it? Prabhupada explained that David had become a madman from too much LSD. He was dangerous. Mike gave the Swami a half-incredulous look \u2013 David Allen, dangerous? Prabhupada then told a story: \u201cThere\u2019s an old saying in India that you get yourself a spiritual master, you sit opposite him, you learn everything from him that you can, then you kill him, you move his body to one side, and then you sit in his place, and you become the guru.\u201d As Prabhupada spoke, Mike began to feel that David was<\/i> dangerous, so he didn\u2019t ask for any more details.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mike could see that Swamiji was appealing to him for help, and as they all sat together on the couch, Mike and Carl quietly nodded in agreement. The Swami was looking at Mike, and Mike was trying to think.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

April 30, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

They Find a New Place at Twenty-six Second Avenue<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mike felt obligated. He was good at getting things done and he wanted to do this for the Swami. So the next day he went to The Village Voice<\/i>, got the first newspaper off the press, looked through the classified ads until he found a suitable prospect, and phoned the landlord. It was a storefront on Second Avenue, and an agent, Mr. Gardiner, agreed to meet them there. Carl and the Swami also agreed to come.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mr. Gardiner and Mike were the first to arrive. Mike noted the unusual hand-painted sign \u2013 Matchless Gifts \u2013 above the front window. It was a holdover, Mr. Gardiner explained, from when the place had been a nostalgic-gift shop. Mike proceeded to describe the Swami as a spiritual leader from India, an important author and Sanskrit scholar. The rental agent seemed receptive. As soon as Prabhupada and Carl arrived and everyone had been congenially introduced, Mr. Gardiner showed them the small storefront. Prabhupada, Carl, and Mike carefully considered its possibilities. It was empty, plain and dark \u2013 the electricity had not been turned on \u2013 and it needed repainting. It would be good for meetings, but not for the Swami\u2019s residence. But at $125 a month it seemed promising. Then Mr. Gardiner revealed a small, second-floor apartment just across the rear courtyard, directly behind the storefront. Another $71 a month and the Swami could live there, although first Mr. Gardiner would have to repaint it. The total rent would come to $196, and Carl, Mike and the others would pitch in.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

May 1, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Moves<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now it was time to move the Swami into his new place. A few friends who were on hand accompanied the Swami over to the Bowery loft. Maybe they weren\u2019t prepared to become his surrendered disciples, but contributing toward the first month\u2019s rent and volunteering a few hours of work to help set up his place were exactly the kinds of things they could do very willingly.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At the loft, they all gathered up portions of the Swami\u2019s belongings, and then they started out on foot up Bowery. It was like a safari, a caravan of half a dozen men loaded with Prabhupada\u2019s things. Michael carried the heavy Roberts reel-to-reel, and even the swami carried two suitcases. They did everything so quickly that it wasn\u2019t until they were well on their way and Mike\u2019s arm began to ache that he realized, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t we bring a car?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was the end of June, and a hazy summer sun poured its heat down into the Bowery jungle. Starting and stopping, the strange safari, stretching for over a block, slowly trekked along. Prabhupada struggled with his suitcases, past the seemingly unending row of restaurant supply shops and lamp stores between Grand, Broome, and Spring streets. Sometimes he paused and rested, setting his suitcases down. He was finally moving from the Bowery. His electrician friend on Seventy-second Street would have been relieved, although perhaps he would have disapproved of the Second Avenue address also. At least he was finished residing on Skid Row. He walked on, past the homeless men outside the Salvation Army shelter, past the open-door taverns, stopping at streetlights, standing alongside total strangers, keeping an eye on the progress of his procession of friends who struggled along behind him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Bowery artists and musicians saw him as \u201chighly evolved.\u201d They felt that the spirit was moving him and were eager to help him set up his own place so that he could do his valuable spiritual thing and spread it to others. He was depending on them for help, yet they knew he was \u201con a higher level\u201d; he was his own protector, or as he said, God protected him. <\/p>\n

May 2, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Moving Into His New Apartment<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Overlooking the courtyard from the rear building of 26 Second Avenue was Prabhupada\u2019s second floor apartment, where he would now live, work, and worship. With help from his Bowery friends, he had cleaned and settled into his new home. In the back room \u2013 his office \u2013 he had placed against one wall a thin cushion with an elephant-print cover and, in front of the cushion, his unpainted metal suitcase served as a desk. He had set his typewriter on the desk with his papers and books on either side. This became his work area. His manuscripts bundled in saffron cloth, his stock of Srimad-Bhagavatams<\/i>, and his few personal effects he kept in the closet opposite his desk. On the wall above his sitting place he hung an Indian calendar print of Lord Krishna. (Krishna, as a youth, was playing on His flute with a cow close behind Him. Lord Krishna was standing on the planet Earth, which curved like the top of a small hill beneath His feet.) There were two windows on the east wall and the dappled morning sunlight filtering in through the fire escape fell across the floor.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The next room was bare except for a fancy coffee table, which became Prabhupada\u2019s altar. Here he placed a framed picture of Lord Caitanya and His associates. On the wall he hung an Indian calendar print of four-armed Lord Visnu and Ananta Sesa, the celestial snake. And, as in the Bowery loft, he put up a clothesline.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Both rooms were freshly painted and the floors were clean hardwood parquet. The bathroom was clean and serviceable, as was the narrow furnished kitchen. Prabhupada would sometimes stand by the kitchen window gazing beyond the courtyard wall. He had moved here without any prospects of paying the next month\u2019s rent. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 3, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Lower East Side in the 1960s<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By the summer of Srila Prabhupada\u2019s arrival at 26 Second Avenue, the first front in the great youth rebellion of the sixties had already entered the Lower East Side. Here they were free \u2013 free to live in simple poverty and express themselves through art, music, drugs and sex. The talk was of spiritual searching. LSD and marijuana were the keys opening new realms of awareness. Notions about Eastern cultures and Eastern religions were in vogue. Through drugs, yoga, brotherhood, or just by being free \u2013 somehow they would attain enlightenment. Everyone was being free \u2013 somehow they would attain enlightenment. Everyone was supposed to keep an open mind and develop his own cosmic philosophy by direct experience and drug-expanded consciousness, blended with his own eclectic readings. And if their lives appeared aimless, at least they had dropped out of a pointless game where the player sells his soul for material goods and in this way supports a system that is already rotten.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So it was that in 1966 thousands of young people were walking the streets of the Lower East Side, not simply intoxicated or crazy (though they often were), but in search of life\u2019s ultimate answers, in complete disregard of \u201cthe establishment\u201d and the day-to-day life pursued by millions of \u201cstraight\u201d Americans.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That the prosperous land of America could breed so many discontented youths surprised Prabhupada. Of course, it also further proved that material well-being, the hallmark of American life, couldn\u2019t make people happy. Prabhupada did not see the unhappiness around him in terms of the immediate social, political, economic and cultural causes. Neither slum conditions nor youth rebellions were the all-important realities. These were mere symptoms of a universal unhappiness to which the only cure was Krishna consciousness. He sympathized with the miseries of everyone, but he saw the universal solution.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada\u2019s Mission on the Lower East Side<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had not made a study of the youth movement in America before moving to the Lower East Side. He had never even made specific plans to come here amid so many young people. But in the ten months since Calcutta he had been moved by force of circumstances, or, as he understood it, \u201cby Krishna\u2019s will,\u201d from one place to another. On the order of his spiritual master he had come to America, and by Krsna\u2019s will he had come to the Lower East Side. His mission here was the same as it had been on the Bowery or uptown or even in India. He was fixed in the order of his spiritual master and the Vedic view, a view that wasn\u2019t going to be influenced by the radical changes of the 1960s. Now, if it so happened that these young people because of some change in the American cultural climate were to prove more receptive to him, then that would be welcome. And that would also be by Krishna\u2019s will.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Actually, because of the ominous influence of the Kali millennium, this was historically the worst of times for spiritual cultivation \u2013 hippie revolution or not. And Srila Prabhupada was trying to transplant Vedic culture into a more alien ground than had any previous spiritual master. So he expected to find his work extremely difficult. Yet in this generally bad age, just prior to Prabhupada\u2019s arrival on the Lower East Side, tremors of dissatisfaction and revolt against the Kali-yuga culture itself began vibrating through American society, sending waves of young people to wander the streets of New York\u2019s Lower East Side in search of something beyond the ordinary life, looking for alternatives, seeking spiritual fulfillment. These young people, broken from their stereotyped materialistic backgrounds and drawn together now on New York\u2019s Lower East Side, were the ones who were by chance or choice or destiny to become the congregation for the Swami\u2019s storefront offerings of kirtana<\/i> and spiritual guidance.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami\u2019s Arrival Went Mostly Unnoticed<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami\u2019s arrival went unnoticed. The neighbors said someone new had taken the gift shop next to the laundry. There was a strange picture in the window now but no one knew what to make of it. Some passers-by noticed a piece of paper announcing classes in Bhagavad-gita<\/i> taped to the window. A few stopped to read it, but no one knew what to make of it. They didn\u2019t know what Bhagavad-gita<\/i> was, and the few who did thought, \u201cMaybe a yoga bookstore or something.\u201d The Puerto Ricans in the neighbourhood would look in the window at Harvey Cohen\u2019s painting and then blankly walk away. The manager of the Mobil gas station next door couldn\u2019t care less who had moved in \u2013 it just didn\u2019t make any difference. The tombstone-sellers and undertakers across the street didn\u2019t care. And for the drivers of the countless cars and trucks that passed by, Swamiji\u2019s place didn\u2019t even exist. But there were young people around who had been intrigued with the painting, who went up to the window to read the little piece of paper. Some of them even knew about the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, although the painting of Lord Caitanya and the dancers didn\u2019t seem to fit. A few thought maybe they would attend Swami Bhaktivedanta\u2019s classes and check out the scene.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Soul Eyes of Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One devotee wrote to me appreciating my poem about Srila Prabhupada\u2019s gaze, Soul Eyes<\/i>. He said, however, that he never saw Prabhupada\u2019s eyes, and he considered it a great loss in his life. I consoled him and told him there were many wonderful photos to meditate on Prabhupada\u2019s eyes and form. There\u2019s also film footage of his moving body, an expressive feature. There\u2019s also an oversize book of special photos called Srila Prabhupada Art Book<\/i>, which one can spend hours gazing over Prabhupada\u2019s beautiful body. Even when Prabhupada\u2019s health diminished and his face became emaciated he maintained nobility in his features, and his face was very grave. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Devotees can also ease their separation by getting together and talking about his qualities and pastimes on occasions such as his appearance and disappearance days. Srila Prabhupada personally said, \u201cIf you want to know me, read my books.\u201d So a devotee should not think he has lost out just because he was not present when Prabhupada was still alive in his physical presence here. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By the means available through vani<\/i> (instruction in sound vibration), many second-generation disciples have developed relationships equal to and even greater than first-generation disciples.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada wrote in one letter explaining the principles of vapu<\/i> and vani<\/i>: \u201c\u2026 Presence of the transcendental sound received from the spiritual master should be the guidance of life.\u201d He also told us that we could place his picture on his sitting places and this would give us solace. The main factor in developing association with Prabhupada is attaining the stage of wanting to please him. He is still living and open to reciprocate with devotees who wish to serve him. This is accomplished in standard ways and by accepting him as one\u2019s \u015bik\u1e63\u0101 <\/i>guru or primary guru, and obeying his instructions regarding the rules and regulations. One also pleases Srila Prabhupada by taking up the preaching spirit and working in cooperation with others in the sankirtana<\/i> movement. Prabhupada\u2019s reciprocal gaze of \u201csoul eyes\u201d is still available to the earnest soul who yearns to please Prabhupada and comes before him in the available methods of service in separation. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 7, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Pleasing the Guru Means Pleasing Krishna<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Every morning we pray yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasadah<\/i>, but sometimes we forget what it means. The verse means that by the grace of the spiritual master one gets the mercy of Krishna. If one does not please the spiritual master, then he has no chance of progress. (Yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasadah<\/i>, you have to please the guru, not independently go to Krishna.) So I am praying to you like that. That is, I pray to you knowing that a prayer to you is as good as a prayer to Krishna. Yadyapi amara guru caitanyera dasa<\/i>, Srila Prabhupada, you are the servant of the Supreme Lord. Tathapi janiye ami tanhara prakasa<\/i>. You are the full manifestation \u2013 prakasa<\/i> of the Lord Himself. (CC Adi 1.44)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 8, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Nitya-siddha<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada never claimed to be a nitya-siddha<\/i>, a soul who has never fallen down to the material world. Yet Prabhupada had the symptoms of such a great soul. A sadhana-siddha<\/i> is a conditioned soul who is perfected by the performance of the rules and regulations of devotional service. Krpa-siddha<\/i> is one who attains perfection through the special mercy of the Lord or His pure devotee. But a nitya-siddha<\/i> is extremely rare in this world.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Uddhava was a nitya-siddha<\/i>. He had the same form as Krishna (svarupa-mukti<\/i>). Even as a child he was always engaged in the \u201cplay of transcendental realization.\u201d Prabhupada, like Uddhava, played with the forms of Radha-Krishna as a child, bathing Them, feeding Them, and worshiping Them. He also held the Ratha-yatra festival with his small playmates and would go across the street to visit the Radha-Govinda Temple daily. Prabhupada said of himself that he thought he had ample opportunity to engage in sinful life, being born in an aristocratic family; but he never did. \u201cAnd throughout my whole life I did not know what is illicit sex, intoxication, meat eating and gambling. So far my present life is concerned, I do not remember any part of my life when I was forgetful of Krishna.\u201d<\/p>\n

May 9, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Gift of Solidity <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One night while in Prabhupada\u2019s presence at the storefront, the thought came to me that Krishna consciousness is not fragile like glass figurines. In the beginning, my attraction seemed to be a very fragile thing. If you looked at Krsna consciousness one way, it was there; but if you looked at it another way, it might disappear. Bhakti was very wonderful, and yet it could be shattered by a rude remark or by a logical argument. But as Swamiji spoke, it occurred to me that it was not at all fragile. Krsna consciousness was very, very solid.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That night when I left Swamiji\u2019s presence and walked into the streets, I was no longer intimidated by the buildings. In Manhattan you always walk in a canyon, like a tiny living entity. The buildings make you sad; they imprison you, they overwhelm you and crush your spirit. They block out the sun and the air. They keep within them millions of unhappy lives, packed in apartments with stored-up anger and violence. But after being with Prabhupada and walking toward my apartment, I could overcome the buildings. They looked unsubstantial, as if you could go right through them. This was a bit like Hayagriva\u2019s remark, which was quoted in the East Village<\/i> Other<\/i>: \u201cBy chanting Hare Krishna everything looks beautiful on the Lower East Side. Even the creeps.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Each of us was experiencing new feelings of sufficiency in Krishna consciousness. We had all been crushed by living in the city, and Prabhupada was pulling us out.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 10, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Defeats Mayavadi<\/i> Annihilation<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We were in Swamiji\u2019s room discussing an article that appeared in the New York Times<\/i>. Brahmananda brought it into Swamiji, and I was also present. The Times<\/i> writer was discussing Hinduism, and he used the phrase, \u201cThe frightening goal of annihilation.\u201d When Prabhupada heard this, he said this was misinformation. Then he began to dictate a letter, which Brahmananda wrote down, to be sent to the New York Times.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Times<\/i> writer thought that the goal of Hinduism was an impersonal experience of merging into the void of Brahman. It was frightening for him to think that one would lose one\u2019s individuality. Swamiji quoted from the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> 2.11, \u201cNever was there a time when I did not exist, nor you nor all these kings, nor in the future shall we ever cease to exist.\u201d He asserted that the goal of \u201cHinduism\u201d was not impersonalism but Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was hearing it for the first time and I was impressed. I did not exactly know what the New York Times <\/i>reporter meant, or what Prabhupada was saying, but it began to dawn on me. I agreed with the Times<\/i> writer that merging was a frightening idea. You would practice some meditation and it would be very dangerous, because all of a sudden you would lose yourself. The Hindu philosophy was therefore very dangerous, because if it was followed, it could lead to everyone\u2019s annihilation!<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But Swamiji said that the impersonal merging was a misrepresentation of Hindu philosophy. I was surprised to learn that a respectable writer for the New York Times<\/i> had given misinformation about Hinduism. The true information was right there in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>: we do not get annihilated; we are eternal.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was not yet a devotee; I was outside this controversy, observing it. But when I heard Swamiji\u2019s correction, I wanted to tell other people how he understood it. I liked what he said. It was authoritative. It was also very agreeable, compared with the frightening annihilation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada was disturbed that the Times<\/i> had printed such a wrong statement, and so he wrote them a letter. Brahmananda and I could see that Swamiji really wanted to combat ignorance, even if it appeared in high places. It seemed like a hopeless struggle for Swamiji to expect to wipe out all the ignorance in the world. He did not have any government power behind him, and although he was speaking the truth from the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, his letter would probably not be published by the New York Times<\/i>. But at least two persons heard and felt themselves freed from ignorance and annihilation. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 11, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Keeping a One-Two-Three<\/i> Kirtana<\/i> Beat<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

People came to the storefront seeking consciousness expansion, which they had been getting on LSD, and Srila Prabhupada promised that they would find it without drugs, by chanting. Prabhupada taught the rhythm, one-two-three<\/i>, one-two-three<\/i>. When he gave some of the hippies the karatalas<\/i>, they wanted to play their own beats. But Prabhupada stopped them and said, \u201cNo! Keep this beat: one-two-three<\/i>.\u201d Although we did not accept him in the beginning as our spiritual master, he insisted that we keep this beat, and so we agreed. He asserted his authority on the beat of the mantras; if you wanted to stay in the storefront and participate, you had to do it his way or confront him. But aside from the one-two-three<\/i> beat, Prabhupada was very lenient and allowed all kinds of musical instruments to be played. Even piano innards were brought inside and strummed.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The people in the storefront would leave after the kirtana<\/i>. Maybe only half would stay for the lecture. On a good night there might be many people, and after the kirtana<\/i> half would leave.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201966 Kaleidoscope<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A kaleidoscope is a tube-shaped optical instrument that you rotate to produce symmetrical designs by means of mirrors that constantly change patterns made by bits of colored glass. Memories of being with Prabhupada sometimes appear like that. This seems to especially happen when you travel a lot, because you tend to shake up your identity and your consciousness. It is different than when staying in the same place and following the same routine.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But a kaleidoscope is abstract. When you look into it, you do not see a meadow and cows; you see all the fragments of light, diamonds, and swirls and chips and sparks. When you shake it up again, hold it to the light and look in \u2013 there is another beautiful combination of fragmented colors. Similarly, I tend to get a jumble of images when I shake my \u201c1966 kaleidoscope.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A little flash of the movie, Happiness at Second Avenue<\/i> \u2013 Prabhupada playing the drum there \u2026 the artificial colors of that film. You see yourself also with shaved head. Everyone looks young, but not so pretty or handsome. It is realism, or maybe the nature of the film that makes you look a little funny. There you are, and there is Swamiji playing the drum, reaching forward to get his karatalas<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When you look into the kaleidoscope, you see a lot of memory reels. You can look at them if you want. It is not an actual memory but a memory can<\/i> that contains facsimile messages. It is something like that TV film, Happiness on Second Avenue<\/i>, but this is your own film \u2026<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Here is a reel of going into Swamiji\u2019s worship room. You go in there, sit down, and Swamiji sits down. He puts on his tilaka<\/i> and you put on your tilaka<\/i> \u2026 Say it tenderly and lovingly, even if it is \u201cjust words.\u201d The scriptures are also words. Vaisnavas do not say that words are inadequate. Even if they cannot completely capture something, words do a service. So have a respect for them. Have a respect for the words in the memories of Prabhupada. And accept what you see in the kaleidoscope.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The floor of the storefront \u2026 Prabhupada playing the drum \u2026 I am being lifted out of the tragedy I was in. I am wearing an aquamarine shirt, which I later cut up and made into a beadbag. With him we could sit on the floor with our shirts of the past, our minds becoming cleansed by the cosmic sounds he described as \u201ctranscendental sound vibration,\u201d delivering the mind from all that Lower East Side stuff and all the hurt of our previous lives \u2026<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We had grown up and broken away from our parents, got out of our country\u2019s conformity and the US Navy and all that, but the new freedom couldn\u2019t deliver us either. The new jazz couldn\u2019t deliver us. We were still homeless, unhappy. But Swamiji was delivering us with the cleansing, cosmic vibration we barely understood. All we knew was that it was Krishna, and Krishna was far out, and you could sing with Swami leading on the drum, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare. Leave everything else behind.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Is it fiction or magic to think that we can go back? No, it is the truth, and yet it is not just mere newspaper reporting. The past cannot be spoken of, except by metaphors, just as Krishna\u2019s lila<\/i> can only be described by the metaphors of Rupa Gosvami \u2026<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And so we are sitting on the floor and Swamiji is above us. We are leaning toward him, taking from him and giving back our voices in chant, and being delivered, getting high and becoming devotees under his care. His permissible, liberal, fatherly, motherly care. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Do not be afraid to say it again \u2013 how he walked across the floor with his bare feet. Wherever you go, tell them that Prabhupada said, \u201cEat more! Eat more!\u201d and how you ate more than you ever did. Rejoice in your association with Prabhupada; tell everyone about his glories and don\u2019t be contaminated by anyone who doesn\u2019t appreciate what he did. Rejoice in the memory from the floor where you sit as you chant Hare Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Worshiping Memories of Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In our own little way, we are worshiping the hours and minutes when we were with Srila Prabhupada. One way to worship sacred time is to ask it, \u201cPlease come forward so that we may praise you with words and tell the world what it was like. Kindly come forward and reveal yourself, minutes and hours in which I was with Prabhupada.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Almost as soon as I began seeing Srila Prabhupada, I also began fondly remembering him and what he said. After attending his morning class at 26 Second Avenue, I would walk east one block to First Avenue and then walk north to the Fifth Street Welfare Office. Just before Fifth Street was a very big apartment building where I used to stand in the entranceway under a roof and \u201ckill time\u201d before going in to punch the clock. I remember standing there and reviewing some of the philosophy that Prabhupada had spoken. He had said that any activity, if coated with bhakti<\/i>, becomes a type of yoga. When fruitive activities are coated with bhakti<\/i>, they become karma-yoga<\/i>. Philosophical speculation coated with bhakti<\/i> becomes j\u00f1\u0101na-yoga<\/i>, and pure devotional service activities are bhakti-yoga<\/i>. What a wonderful philosophy! <\/p>\n

<\/a>\n<\/p>\n

May 14, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Worship the Moments Spent with Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I worship the moments spent with Swamiji in his apartment. On one particularly quiet night, I was the only one with him. The front doorbell rang and I went down to see who it was. It was Donald, a pudgy, bespectacled young man from uptown. He was probably the only non-hippie coming to the storefront at that time. He was a junior executive with the Pepsi-Cola company and he usually dressed in shirt and tie. When I met him at the door, he asked if he could come up to see the Swami. I replied, \u201cHe\u2019s alone tonight, so let me see if it is all right.\u201d I went back upstairs and said, \u201cIt is someone who wants to see you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada asked, \u201cWhat is he like?\u201d I told Prabhupada that Donald appeared very respectable; he was not a crazy person. When Prabhupada heard that, he gladly gave his permission and I went down to let Donald in. He came upstairs, took off his stylish raincoat, and went in to sit down with Swamiji in his room. I stayed in the other room where I had some typing to do. But I overheard Donald asking academic questions about the position of Lord Siva in relationship with Krishna. Donald later got initiated and was given the name Dvarakadhisa, but within a few years he had stopped coming to the temple.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Remembering and worshiping the minutes may be done by offerings of flowers, just as we do in arati<\/i>. But I also have the feeling of shooting into the past like a sportsman hitting targets with a bow and arrow. The targets are waiting, all the minutes and hours of the past.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Inevitably, we turn toward memories that we\u2019ve enjoyed many times. But that doesn\u2019t make them less important or less worshipable. If we remember a favorite moment once again, it may bring out new lights.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The First Time I Bowed Down<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One time, my supervisor, Mr. Rice, shouted over in my direction, \u201cMr. Guarino, you are gonna have to complete the Garcia case so that she can get a check this afternoon. I want you to stay in the office and do it, so don\u2019t go out to lunch until one. Is that all right?\u201d It was not all right, but what could I say? So I went to the hallway phone booth and dialled the Swami\u2019s number. The thing I was most attached to in the world was going every day at noon to have lunch with the Swami and the boys. So Mr. Rice\u2019s command drove me to the radical move of phoning up the Swami. This was in the early days, before I was initiated.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I heard the phone ring and the Swami answered, \u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cSwamiji, this is Steve. Do you remember me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji said yes, he remembered me.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cI won\u2019t be able to come today at noon for lunch because I have to stay in the office and work. But I\u2019ll come over at one o\u2019clock. Could you ask the devotees to please save some prasadam<\/i> for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d said Prabhupada. He made it sound like it was not a problem. As I hung up, I was very pleased that I had made the phone call. Nowadays, it doesn\u2019t seem like the proper way to treat Prabhupada, and in the later years of ISKCON with Prabhupada there was no question of doing such a thing. First of all, you wouldn\u2019t be able to reach Prabhupada by phone; you would reach his secretary. But in those days it was right, and it was nice. It was a way to surrender and develop friendship. I very much wanted to go and be with him and eat his prasadam<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It turned out to be a better treat than usual, because by the time I got there all the boys were gone. Swamiji was there and the rug was still rolled back. The office had been demanding \u2013 so much bureaucracy and talk and nonsense, and now I had only one hour left before I had to plunge back into it. I came to take shelter with the Swami.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He told me to sit down, and so I waited alone in the room. He made up the plate and then came in and put it before me on the floor. I said, \u201cThank you,\u201d and I bowed down before him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Nowadays we bow down so many times, but this was the first time that I bowed down. When I had met Swamiji at the door I did not bow down, and neither did I bow down to him in the temple. When he saw this boy finally bowing down, it pleased him and he said, \u201cYes.\u201d I knew it was a significant step forward. Although now I bow down hundreds of times, I wonder if I\u2019m actually surrendering and worshiping. But that time I overcame my pride and really did it, bowed down before the rice, dal and cap\u0101t\u012bs, and especially at the bare, lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

May 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Magnanimity of the Maha Bhagavata<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes he\u2019s lecturing and he says, \u201cYes, come in, sit down.\u201d That would be for a hippie who was deciding whether to come into the storefront or not, and who would look like he was eligible for sitting down and hearing Bhagavad-gita<\/i> if he really wanted. He might be on an LSD trip or just not wanting to actually become part of the group, and yet he wanted to check it out \u2013 so Prabhupada invited him to step over the barrier and actually become a listener. He might invite him to sit down, but they did not always want to come under the Swami\u2019s control, even to take a seat when he asked them. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami was fearless. He was convinced that his message was relevant and had to be spoken. It was his show, he was in control, but he had to protect himself, especially in the beginning. It is not that the devotees were completely ready to be on his side, so he had to control the whole thing and say, \u201cDon\u2019t disturb, don\u2019t disturb.\u201d He depended on Krishna and went on speaking the difficult-to-understand philosophy \u2013 concepts of Bhagavad-gita<\/i> and the assertion that Krishna is God. He just went right ahead without watering it down in the least.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

You couldn\u2019t understand it all, but you stayed and listened to him. You caught a word here and there, Caitanya, Krishna; missed a word here and there. I can recall thinking that I did not understand very much of it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Hanging Out at 26 Second Avenue<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We’re in the storefront and there are noises on the street, but we\u2019re sitting and listening to the Swami. We like to chant; we like the ringing of the karatalas. Everybody chants together: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. (Whoever heard of such a thing? \u2013 That you chant with a one, two, three<\/i> beat and with brass cymbals? You never read about chanting in any book about Vedanta or Bhagavad-gita<\/i> or yoga. It was far out.) The cymbals ring loudly, and the door is open and he\u2019s singing.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When the chanting was going on and the karatalas were ringing, that would be more likely to attract passers-by to look in. But it was a time when they really couldn\u2019t disturb because the chanting was so dominant. Their shouts and their remarks couldn\u2019t overcome the chanting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami was more vulnerable when the whole audience was quiet and he was lecturing. But when there was kirtana<\/i>, it was as if he had the upper hand. And yet more people did gather to look in at that time, and that was part of the adventure of going there. When you chant you are more on the Swamiji\u2019s side, you are not just observing, but you are part of the kirtana<\/i> \u2013 you were what people were looking in at. Yet you did it because you wanted to experience the kirtana<\/i>, never mind noises from the street.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Evoking Memories of 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There is a famous example in the novel Remembrance of Things Past<\/i> by Marcel Proust. Proust eats a little piece of pastry, a petite madeleine<\/i>, and as he mixed it with tea and it softened in his mouth, the scent of it and the taste of it suddenly threw him back many years to his childhood.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Maybe we can do things like that, by hearing the noises on the street and remembering how it was during those 1966 lectures:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I\u2019m in my spot hearing him speak. A little afraid when hoodlums or teenagers out there make noises, but we\u2019re not going to give up our places. I hope it doesn\u2019t get into some big scene, but that they will go away so we can continue to hear the Swami. When someone comes and makes noises at the doorway, you can get a flash of how it looks to outsiders. They see you are just some hippies with this strange Indian man. The whole thing seems weird to them and they can\u2019t figure it out. They just can\u2019t figure it out. The Swami is obviously an Indian, so why is he with these young American hippies? They are street-tough, street-wise; they know American hippies well enough, but they don\u2019t know the Swami.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we were in the storefront and someone would look in or play their music from the radio and say, \u201cHey, what the hell is this?\u201d Or just, \u201cHey!\u201d \u2013 you sat there and absorbed it and they would usually go away. But one intruder after another would come; sometimes for a large part of the lecture there would be disturbing sounds. The thing is, Swamiji kept the door open. If he had shut the door, it might have been better, but he wanted people to feel free to come in. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe there would have been more disturbances if they hadn\u2019t been able to look in and check it out and say something. If the door was shut, they might have been more frustrated. But for whatever reason, he kept it open.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Gift of Intimacy<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Aside from age and cultural distances, there is always a distance between two persons until they get to know each other. In the beginning, you try to see whether you will be able to be intimate with another person. Prabhupada was able to establish intimacy with hundreds of persons. He did not merely give us lessons in perfection delivered from a mountaintop. Rather, his physical association was always nearby. The awkwardness of not trusting him soon changed, and he also reached forward and pulled us toward him in a spiritual relationship.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada removed the awkwardness by convincing us that we did not belong to a different religion than he. He referred to the transcendental level at which all things come together. He used to say, \u201cNo one should object and say that they can\u2019t chant Hare Krishna because it is a foreign name and it is not one\u2019s own religion. This is transcendental sound vibration. We are all spirit souls, part and parcels of Krishna.\u201d In this way, he established spiritual intimacy.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada taught that all souls have an intimacy with Krishna and any feelings we had of alienation were not based on fact. They were illusion, based on false designation. Thus he gave a new consciousness and a new way to see reality.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As for Srila Prabhupada\u2019s own unfamiliarity with Western culture, it was a feature that simply made him more dear to us. One time a devotee told Prabhupada that he might get fired from his job. Prabhupada was astonished and said, \u201cFired? They would fire on you?\u201d Prabhupada thought the devotee would be fired with a gun. The devotee replied, \u201cOh no, Prabhupada! Fired just means they would release me from the job.\u201d We would all laugh together about his not knowing these words. We did not expect him to know such things, but neither did we think of him as a \u201cforeigner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada knew the transcendental world, the real home. To be unaware of the material world was just another sign of his detachment. We did not expect that eventually he would educate himself in such things. He was not interested. They were all in the category of ignorance and passion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Gave Us Confidence<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There were many potentially awkward moments for Srila Prabhupada as he began conducting his movement in America in 1966. We rejoice now in recalling how he was so tolerant. While Prabhupada had some control over events within the storefront, it was more uncontrolled when we went to chant outside in Tompkins Square Park. When someone joined your kirtana<\/i> by blowing loudly on a saxophone, it was not easy to tell him to go away. But Prabhupada always seemed to know best how to get through such situations.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s chanting of the Hare Krishna mantra was a particularly effective way to smooth over awkward gaps between himself and the younger generation. He just recommended that people chant Hare Krishna \u201cwherever you go, and whatever you do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although Prabhupada was worlds apart from the young people in America, the younger generation accepted him as \u201ccool\u201d; he was hip in his own way. He was not a middle-class conformist, and he had not come to give us Boy Scout lessons. He was not a church minister giving sermons with a piety that we could not relate to.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Images of His Divine Grace<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Two of my favorite pictures from my \u201cwallet\u201d: <\/p>\n

one shows Prabhupada <\/p>\n

standing beside the birdbath<\/p>\n

in the courtyard at 26 Second Avenue.<\/p>\n

He is stout and strong, wrapped in big swathes <\/p>\n

of khadi<\/i> cloth. It\u2019s a formal pose, <\/p>\n

with japa-mala<\/i>, from the early years<\/p>\n

of strong health when Swamiji<\/p>\n

played the drum 3 hours in the park.<\/p>\n

You can worship his feet in gray shoes.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The other photo is also formal:<\/p>\n

Prabhupada sitting with his 3 Bhagavatams<\/i>,<\/p>\n

with japa-mala<\/i>, much cloth wrapped around,<\/p>\n

and an almost sad, compassionate gaze.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve shown two photos from my wallet.<\/p>\n

And I wish to show 30 million more \u2026<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/a>\n<\/p>\n

The Unthinkable \u2013 \u201cWhat If?…\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada struggled to leave India for America. It is a poignant drama: the preparation, the delay, the difficulties he had to undergo. What if something had happened to prevent him coming to us?<\/i> Or as Prabhupada always pointed out, no one expected such an old man to embark on such an enterprise. Everyone retires at that age. Krishna and Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura could have been sufficiently pleased by the path Prabhupada had already chosen, renouncing family and social life for the full-time service of Krishna. And yet if Prabhupada hadn\u2019t come, what would have become of us?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He wrote and struggled to get donations to publish Back to Godhead<\/i> in Delhi. Then he chose to reside in a little room in the Vamsi-Gopala temple in Vrndavana. Then he immerses himself in pure devotional service in the holy dhama<\/i> in the Radha-Damodara Temple. But he thought, \u201cWhy shouldn\u2019t people all over the world have the peace they are actually hankering for?\u201d He rarely received visitors, but stayed alone writing. He walked to visit the temples in the evening.<\/p>\n

May 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A First Taste of Ecstasy<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the very beginning I wasn\u2019t completely overwhelmed by Bhagavad-gita<\/i> classes by the Swami, but soon they took over my life. When I wasn\u2019t there I was thinking about them, doing the chanting, and trying to read his book. Other things started to lose importance. It was like a magnet, heading for that storefront. In the beginning, I would do other things sometimes. One night after a delicious time at the storefront chanting and singing and getting into the atmosphere of the Swami, I left the storefront and got a pizza and a coke and thought that was also delicious. It was like a part of the same thing, to have a pizza and a coke sitting at the counter in a racy Puerto Rican neighbourhood, gobbling down a pizza in the summer and thinking, \u201cKrishna! Krishna and everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have the whole thing together because there weren\u2019t any rules and regulations. It wasn\u2019t like nowadays. (If I did something like that in the later stages of knowing Prabhupada, I would think, \u201cBoy, I was just at the temple and now I\u2019m in maya<\/i>.\u201d) In the beginning, we had no idea what was right or wrong. It was just great to be chanting Hare Krishna. The more association I got with Swamiji, the more it got me to thinking about all those things I had done before meeting him \u2013 eating pizza, playing a jazz record \u2026 Bit by bit, Swamiji indicated that all those things should be replaced. No, I shouldn\u2019t eat pizza, I shouldn\u2019t drink coke, I shouldn\u2019t listen to jazz. I shouldn\u2019t even listen to Ravi Shankar. Those things were sense gratification. To love Krishna, I couldn\u2019t have any<\/i> sense gratification. There were right ways to do things. We innocently took to his instructions. We wanted to do what he said: \u201cOkay, no sense gratification.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Then I decided that there was no way to make such a transformation while living on Suffolk Street, so I moved to a new apartment. It was like a new life. A new sleeping bag (I left behind the bed, all the records, the cats, the marijuana, the LSD.) I moved in and painted the walls white, chained my typewriter to the radiator, remembered to bring my work clothes. No sense gratification. Early in the day I would make my own cap\u0101t\u012bs like crackers and put slices of tomato on them and then cover them over with a dish. Then later I would return to my own Hare Krishna lunch of a crisp cap\u0101t\u012b and slice of tomato. At night, some milk. Life was good.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Krishna-ized Storefront<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji is a bold performer. He is expert at creating excitement. His foreignness is charismatic \u2013 his golden complexion, his yellow tilaka<\/i>, his shining teeth, lips and eyes, delicate fingers. Nothing showy. Our attraction is natural. He is plain and yet scintillating. His paraphernalia: a pocket watch put up so that he can see the time as he speaks, a glass of water (because he usually starts to cough), the nearby sink for throwing apple cores at the end of the evening, the noiseless tape recorder moving from reel to reel, his dhoti<\/i> and khadi<\/i> cadar<\/i> wrapped around his shoulders. He gives a few directions to his followers: \u201cBring this light here. Is this tape recorder working? Where\u2019s the book?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He lectures \u2013 India, that far-away place \u2013 Swamiji\u2019s India, which he says is spiritual and eternal \u2013 sages, yogis, pure devotees. We are simply listening. Hearing about India in New York. \u201cWhy are you going to India? India has come to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

People look in the big storefront window. Swami holds the audience as people stop and read the sign in the window. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A fragile, little, transcendental light within the dark world of New York City, the dark world of the universe in Kali-yuga. That storefront with its slightly tilting floorboards; ragged, Oriental-style rug; posters of Panca-tattva, Hanuman, Sadbhuja and the circular Radha-Krishna over Swamiji\u2019s head \u2013 that storefront is dear to Krishna. It is compact. Krishna conscious. Everything is here in a small storefront on the Lower East Side.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was there.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

26 Second Avenue Kaleidoscope<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

All glories to that 1966 kirtana<\/i> which is still going on and is available any time. I think that those kirtanas<\/i> were very special because of the degree of reciprocation and attention and focus. Back and forward he chants and we hear. We chant and he hears. The holy name is merciful. Pay attention and hear. It is a transcendental sound vibration. Try it, there is no tax.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swami pounds the drum. He sings in almost relentless delivery, again and again giving the mantra as if he could go on forever, except the time and place don\u2019t allow. We sing back to him. He is patient and convinced. \u201cJust hear.<\/i>\u201d He knows we will take to it if we can only hear it. He has no doubt. The heart of everything is right there even now, even in the beginning, even in 1966 \u2013 the books, Gaudiya Vaisnavism, India, the sacred Yamuna, Radha-Krishna Deities, Sanskrit \u2026 Everything is here, present in the sound vibration of the holy name and in his own presence.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Remembering early times in New York is nice because it gives us an idea of what Krishna consciousness always is and what it should be today \u2013 the excitement and ecstasy to get together and chant. When the rhythm starts to build, the many karatalas<\/i> sound like waves. It\u2019s a crashing surf of happy emotions.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 26, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Genius <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was a sign of Swamiji\u2019s genius to bring together simple instruments that everyone could play. Just as in a kindergarten music class not a single instrument requires one to be a musician \u2013 there are blocks, triangles, cymbals, a drum, clackers \u2013 so was Swamiji\u2019s genius to bring together all those instruments and hand them out to the children to play. The only instruction was, \u201cone-two-three<\/i>, one-two-three.<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The naked light, the back bars on the window behind the Swami. Some girls from the Lower East Side coming in with motivations other than to participate in Hare Krishna. New brahmacaris<\/i>, protective of our celibacy \u2026 guys with big, bushy beards reminding us of what we used to be.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Each in our own small space, a box within a box. In a small room with a lot of people, we have to manoeuvre while dancing and moving around. There\u2019s room for everyone. Shoes in the back, smelly. Back to Godhead<\/i> with many concentric circles on the cover \u2013 stencilled, mimeographed copies. A hand-cranked mimeograph machine in one corner. Gargamuni with long hair parted in the middle, looking wistful with his double strand of red japa<\/i> beads wrapped around his neck. And Swamiji in the center of it all, his pointy white shoes at the door where he left them when he came in.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAll Right\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After a 1966 lecture in the storefront, Prabhupada sometimes asked for questions from the audience. When he felt he had answered enough, he said, \u201cAll right.\u201d Sometimes he said it with resignation, almost sadness. He seemed to mean, \u201cAll right, I\u2019ve tried my best.\u201d Sometimes after answering many questions, Prabhupada\u2019s utterance of \u201call right\u201d sounded disgusted. He had just given a wonderful parampara<\/i> speech, and yet people were raising their hands and asking challenging, doubtful, or crazy questions. He looked out at the audience before him, sensing that they were not asking intelligent questions. \u201cAll right,\u201d he would say, \u201clet us have kirtana<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji sharing an apple with us as the last act of the evening at 26 Second Avenue; when he said, \u201cAll right,\u201d it meant we had to leave. It was sad. Although we had just had such a nice meeting, it had to end, just like everything else in the material world. In that sense, \u201call right\u201d presented a challenge to those souls who wanted to return to their maya<\/i> in Manhattan.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even a Paragraph, A Sentence, A Word <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We want to remember what Prabhupada has written and repeat it to audiences wherever we go. His teachings are memorable truths. Other writers may dazzle us with their presentations, but we don\u2019t want to memorize them. Their so-called truths are not worth repeating. Srila Prabhupada\u2019s writing is<\/i> powerful truth, and because it is powerful, he can utter it with calmness, restraint, and simplicity. Srila Prabhupada himself is a modest person, but he carries the mantle of the pure devotee of Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even one paragraph of Srila Prabhupada\u2019s writing is worth studying and restudying. Often just a small section of a paragraph will expose the complicated waste and misuse of energy that the non-devotees engage in. His writing cannot be read with complacency if one wants to get the full effect of his preaching. Srila Prabhupada is too dynamic a writer to read him in a casual way:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The material scientists \u2013 the quasi-priests who invoke such material activities \u2013 invent many objects to gratify the material senses, including the eye, ear, nose, skin, tongue, and ultimately the mind, and in this way the scientists create a field of unnecessary competition for enhancement of material happiness, which leads the whole world into the whirlpool of uncalled-for clashes. The net result is scarcity all over the world, so much so that even the bare necessities of life, namely, food, shelter and clothing, become objects of contention and control. And so there arise all sorts of obstacles to the traditional, God-given life of plain living and high thinking. <\/p>\n

\u2013 Message of Godhead<\/i>, p. 39<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If we take the time to read with submissive aural reception, we will find gems like this studded throughout Prabhupada\u2019s pages. Prabhupada is solid and brilliant at every step. He never slows down \u2013 he is always faithfully repeating Krishna\u2019s message with heartfelt conviction. If we fail to get nourishment from Prabhupada\u2019s writing, we can understand that we are lacking. One way to remedy this is to slow down when we read \u2013 take each sentence by itself, then look at it in context. For his disciples, Prabhupada\u2019s writing is the essence of our lives. It is where we find our link to Krishna and become spiritually revived.<\/p>\n

May 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard Wheeler Meets Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard Wheeler was hurrying from his apartment on Mott Street to a friend\u2019s apartment on Fifth Street, a quiet place where he hoped to find some peace. He walked up Mott Street to Houston, turned left and began to walk east, across Bowery, past the rushing traffic and stumbling derelicts, and toward Second Avenue.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard: After crossing Bowery, just before Second Avenue, I saw Swamiji jauntily strolling down the sidewalk, his head held high in the air, his hand in the bead bag. He struck me like a famous actor in a very familiar movie. He seemed ageless. He was wearing the traditional saffron-colored robes of a sannyasi and quaint white shoes with points. Coming down Houston, he looked like the genie that popped out of Aladdin\u2019s lamp.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard, age twenty-six, was a tall, large-bodied man with long, dark hair, a profuse beard, and black-framed eyeglasses. He was an instructor in English at Ohio State University and was fresh from a trip to India, where he had been looking for a true guru.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada noticed Howard, and they both stopped simultaneously. Howard asked the first question that popped into his mind: \u201cAre you from India?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada smiled. \u201cOh, yes, and you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard: I told him no, but that I had just returned from India and was very interested in his country and the Hindu philosophy. He told me he had come from Calcutta and had been in New York almost ten months. His eyes were as fresh and cordial as a child\u2019s, and even standing before the trucks that roared and rumbled their way down Houston Street, he emanated a cool tranquility that was unshakably established in something far beyond the great metropolis that roared around us.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 30, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Entrance<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The summer evening was warm, and in the storefront the back windows and front door were opened wide. Young men, several of them dressed in black denims and button-down sport shirts with broad, dull stripes, had left their worn sneakers by the front door and were now sitting on the floor. Most of them were from the Lower East Side; no one had to go to great trouble to come here. The little room was barren. No pictures, no furniture, no rug, not even a chair. Only a few plain straw mats. A single bulb hung from the ceiling in the center of the room. It was seven o\u2019clock, and about a dozen people had gathered when the Swami suddenly opened the side door and entered the room.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t wearing a shirt, and the saffron cloth that draped his torso left his arms and some of his chest bare. His complexion was smooth golden brown, and as they watched him, his head shaven, his ears long-lobed, and his aspect grave, he seemed like pictures they\u2019d seen of the Buddha in meditation. He was old, yet erect in his posture, fresh and radiant. His forehead was decorated with the yellowish clay markings of the Vaisnavas. Prabhupada recognized big, bearded Howard and smiled. \u201cYou have brought your friends?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Howard answered in his loud, resonant voice.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, very good.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

May 31, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Psychedelic Congregation<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada stepped out of his white shoes, sat down on a thin mat, faced his congregation, and indicated they could all be seated. He distributed several pairs of brass hand cymbals and briefly demonstrated the rhythm: one \u2026 two \u2026 three<\/i>. He began playing \u2013 a startling, ringing sound. He began singing: Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. Now it was the audience\u2019s turn. \u201cChant,\u201d he told them. Some already knew, gradually the others caught on, and after a few rounds, all were chanting together. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Most of these young men and the few young women present had at one time or another embarked on the psychedelic voyage in search of a new world of expanded consciousness. Boldly and recklessly, they had entered the turbulent, forbidden waters of LSD, peyote, and magic mushrooms. Heedless of warnings, they had risked everything and done it. Yet there was merit in their valor, their eagerness to find the extra dimensions of the self, to get beyond ordinary existence \u2013 even if they didn\u2019t know what the beyond was or whether they would ever return to the comfort of the ordinary. Nonetheless, whatever truth they had found, they remained unfulfilled, and whatever worlds they had reached, these young psychedelic voyagers had always returned to the Lower East Side. Now they were sampling the Hare Krishna mantra.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a>In their psychedelic ambitions to see the face of God, fantasies and visions of Hindu teachings, and the presumption that \u201cIT\u201d was all impersonal light, Prabhupada had encountered a similar group on the Bowery, and he knew this group wasn\u2019t experiencing the mantra in the proper disciplined reverence and knowledge. But he let them chant in their own way. In time their submission to the spiritual sound, their purification, and their enlightenment and ecstasy in chanting and hearing Hare Krishna would come.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

June 1, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Kirtana<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When the kirtana<\/i> suddenly sprang up from the Swami\u2019s cymbals and sonorous voice, they immediately felt that it was going to be something far out. Here was another chance to \u201ctrip out,\u201d and willingly they began to flow with it. They would surrender their minds and explore the limits of the chanting for all it was worth. Most of them had already associated the mantra with the mystical Upanisads<\/i> and Gita<\/i>, which had called out to them in words of mystery: \u201cEternal spirit \u2026 Negating illusion.\u201d But whatever it is, this Indian mantra, let it come, they thought. Let its waves carry us far and high. Let\u2019s take it, and let the effects come. Whatever the price, let it come. The chanting seemed simple and natural enough. It was sweet and wasn\u2019t going to harm anyone. It was, in its own way, far out.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As Prabhupada chanted in his own inner ecstasy, he observed his motley congregation. He was breaking ground in a new land now. As the hand cymbals rang, the lead-and-response of the Hare Krishna mantra swelled, filling the evening. Some neighbors were annoyed. Puerto Rican children, enchanted, appeared at the door and window, looking. Twilight came.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 2, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Genuine Kirtana<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Exotic it was, yet anyone could see that a swami was raising an ancient prayer in praise of God. This wasn\u2019t rock or jazz. He was a holy man, a swami, making a public religious demonstration. But the combination was strange: an old Indian swami chanting an ancient mantra with a storefront full of young American hippies singing along.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada sang on, his shaven head held high and tilted, his body trembling slightly with emotion. Confidently, he led the mantra, absorbed in pure devotion, and they responded. More passers-by were drawn to the front window and open door. Some jeered, but the chanting was too strong. Within the sound of the kirtana<\/i>, even the car horns were a faint staccato. The vibration of auto engines and the rumble of trucks continued, but in the distance now, unnoticed.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Bowery Bum Offers Service<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Suddenly a Bowery derelict enters, whistling and drunkenly shouting. The audience remains seated, not knowing what to make of it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Drunk: How are ya? I\u2019ll be right back. I brought another thing.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Don\u2019t disturb. Sit down. We are talking seriously.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Drunk: I\u2019ll put it up there. In a church? All right. I\u2019ll be right back.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The man is white-haired, with a short, grizzly beard and frowsy clothing. His odor reeks through the temple. But then he suddenly careens out the door and is gone. Prabhupada chuckles softly and returns immediately to his lecture.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Several minutes later, the old derelict suddenly returns, announcing his entrance: \u201cHow are ya?\u201d He is carrying something. He maneuvers his way through the group, straight to the back of the temple, where the Swami is sitting. He opens the toilet room door, puts two rolls of bathroom tissue inside, closes the door, and then turns to the sink, sits some paper towels on top of it and puts two more rolls of bathroom tissue and some more paper towels under the sink. He then stands and turns around toward the Swami and the audience. The Swami is looking at him and asks, \u201cWhat is this?\u201d The bum is silent now; he has done his work. Prabhupada begins to laugh, thanking his visitor, who is now moving toward the door: \u201cThank you. Thank you very much.\u201d The bum exits. \u201cJust see,\u201d Prabhupada now addresses his congregation. \u201cIt is a natural tendency to give some service. Just see, he is not in order, but he thought that, \u2018Here is something. Let me give some service.\u2019 Just see how automatically it comes. This is natural.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The young men in the audience look at one another. This is really far out \u2013 first the chanting with the brass cymbals, the Swami looking like Buddha and talking about Krishna and chanting, and now this crazy stuff with the bum. But the Swami stays cool; he\u2019s really cool, just sitting on the floor like he\u2019s not afraid of anything, just talking his philosophy about the soul and us becoming saints and even the old drunk becoming a saint!<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After almost an hour, the dog still barks, and the kids still squeal. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lunch at 26 Second Avenue<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It\u2019s amazing to think how, in the beginning of ISKCON in America, Prabhupada used to eat lunch with the devotees. He used to serve them prasadam<\/i>. That\u2019s mentioned in the Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i> and some devotees\u2019 memoirs. Prabhupada would walk between the devotees seated on the floor and he would dish out the prasadam<\/i>, just as our brahmacari<\/i> servers do now in the temples. The devotees would see Prabhupada\u2019s bare feet, and he would ask them what kind of prasadam<\/i> they wanted. It\u2019s inconceivable to us now! After a few weeks, some of the devotees learned to cook, and they then began to serve Prabhupada. But still, he used to sit in the midst of all the devotees. He was like a father with his family. He sat in one corner. I\u2019ve been to 26 Second Avenue and I saw the room in his apartment where it took place. Prabhupada used to sit in a corner near a table where he kept his worshipable pictures, including a picture of Panca-tattva. Prabhupada didn\u2019t have a special mat, but he just sat there, and devotees came out of the kitchen with hot preparations to serve the Swami and the other devotees. Prabhupada would look at the other devotees and encourage them to \u201cEat more, eat more.\u201d<\/p>\n

June 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Irreplaceable Swami<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Every night we were listening to that bongo drum, Swamiji\u2019s fingers on that drum. I remember one guy who came, that rascal named Eliot, who I knew before I started coming to the storefront. He said, \u201cThe Swami gets some good licks in; I want to hear him play.\u201d They came to hear Swamiji just as they went to the park to hear the bongo drummers there. I used to apologize to them, \u201cThe Swami is a very proficient mrdanga<\/i> player. You can\u2019t judge him by what he\u2019s doing now. He\u2019s doing the best he can with this little drum. He doesn\u2019t normally play a one-headed bongo, but we don\u2019t have any of the drums that he plays in India.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right, granted, but let\u2019s hear what he can do with this one drum.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So you can hear him. His fingers walk on the drum. People speak of Olantunji and his talking drums. Prabhupada\u2019s drum talks from his walking fingers (tick-tick-tick, tick-tick-tick, one two, one two three four, one two.) It\u2019s a simple thing he\u2019s got going with his fingers on the drum, accentuating his walking beat, along with his own singing and the karatalas and tambour. It seemed that sometimes he played it strictly, like a metronome\u2019s measured beats. But sometimes it was uneven, more human-like, hitting his fingers in rougher beats. None of it was very fast. He played that drum to accompany his own singing. I thought, \u201cGee, he\u2019s over seventy years old and thumping on that drum to his own singing.\u201d Yes, you could come to the storefront just to hear him play the drum. Of course, he had a lot more to give than that \u2013 Lord Caitanya\u2019s philosophy, Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, Lord Krishna, the Hare Krishna mantra.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The drum is for kirtana<\/i>. You chant over the drum, but still you can be fascinated by hearing Prabhupada\u2019s very simple fingers walking on the head of that brownish and already worn bongo head. There will never be anything like it, even now that we have many accomplished mrdanga<\/i> players in ISKCON. Nobody plays a bongo drum like Prabhupada did \u2013 simulating a mrdanga<\/i> and yet not simulating a mrdanga<\/i>. Just playing on that little drum.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And his voice. It was not velvety smooth like cream, but a little rough, some grating there. Not unpleasant, but like a man at the end of the day with a stubble of beard, or the way a leader of men is sometimes a little rough in his speech. It is an appealing roughness that comes from working and from singing, not a pampered, delicate thing. An old man\u2019s singing. And not a \u201cman\u201d \u2013 but an aged, pure devotee. His singing has its own appeal. It goes along with the drum, the uneven finger beat, and the rough voice. We were attracted by these things, almost hypnotized by each thing he did.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Typing for the Swami, 1966 (Diary Excerpt)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If this notebook is lost, please return to:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa dasa Brahmacari<\/p>\n

c\/o International Society for Krishna Consciousness, Inc.<\/p>\n

26 Second Avenue, New York, NY<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji, I am remembering you. I am here now and you are here around the corner in your room. Life is freed for me from the karma of the past. I want to learn Krishna conscious philosophy.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Should I do the typing or go see the Swami? Without any notes, I just start to remember what the Swamiji said in his lecture and I type some of it down. I can type pretty good. I don\u2019t make mistakes. It starts to come to me, some of the things he said in his lecture. At least I remember the essence of it. I don\u2019t attempt to write the whole thing down, just the essence as I remember it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t really do it for him, it\u2019s more for myself. It\u2019s not that I go to my apartment having memorized what he says, but it just comes out and keeps my head balanced. I really like to walk through the streets feeling the Hare Krishna mantra and seeing the city in the summer. I feel such a well-being as Swamiji\u2019s boy.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My yoga is typing. I\u2019m not just typing something for Swamiji. I\u2019m doing yoga. It\u2019s for myself. It\u2019s the last kind of creative writing I\u2019ve allowed myself. I\u2019ve stopped all other writing \u2013 my novel-writing and my short-story writing \u2013 it was all so corrupt and egotistical. But this remembering and recording short sentences is the fruit of anything I\u2019ve learned as a writer. I try to communicate what Swamiji said in my own voice, as concisely as possible. It\u2019s Swamiji, but expressed in my own way. I get creative joy out of this writing. It\u2019s a good discipline for spiritual life.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Usually as I start to type, something comes to mind. Yesterday I remembered about the three modes of nature. \u201cThere are three modes of material nature, <\/i>raja-guna, tamo-guna, and<\/i> sattva-guna. We are all under the modes of nature. Krishna is above the modes of nature. Surrendering to Krishna brings freedom from the modes.\u201d<\/i> Just things like that. He also said, \u201cThe donkey carries the washerman\u2019s load. He thinks the washerman is the source of his food, but he can get grass anywhere. This is the foolishness of the ass. Materialists are like this donkey.\u201d<\/i> Typing these things down is a nice way to be with Swamiji. I\u2019m starting to grasp the philosophy too.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I think you have to get a special, mystical revelation from Krishna to understand Swamiji. He\u2019s incomprehensible. Swamiji said that by service the revelation will come. Note-taking helps.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am trying to kick off my false ego. Novel and poetry-writing is false ego. I\u2019m ready to make the break with the past for Swamiji\u2019s sake. I throw my manuscripts into the incinerator. I had to think about that one before I did it though. What if these manuscripts were great works? What if I am a genius and I just don\u2019t recognize it? Still, they had no Krishna consciousness. How could they help anyone? Swamiji says even great literature, if it is without Krishna consciousness, is like decoration of a dead body.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Now I only want to express Krishna-thought and read Krishna-thought. We shouldn\u2019t have other books in the storefront.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa dasa Brahmacari Diary, 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The notes I keep on Swamiji\u2019s lectures are an exercise to help me remember and understand Krishna consciousness. Unless you hear from a pure devotee, you cannot know Krishna. There are some books circulating in the storefront on Hinduism. Still, the all-important thing is to hear from Swamiji. I don\u2019t know anything else. I am safe as his student. I can\u2019t go wrong that way.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I want to read his Srimad-Bhagwatam<\/i> and type for him \u2013 that is an excellent way to learn philosophy. You can\u2019t learn philosophy unless Krishna reveals it in the heart. He will do that when you serve His realized pure devotee.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Notes from lecture of BG 6.40-43<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He (the fallen yogi) takes birth in a brahmin\u2019s<\/i> family. Brahmins<\/i> are very pure, very clean. Or the fallen yogi takes birth in a rich family.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji told of his own life. His father was very pious and worshiped Krishna. When Swamiji was 5 or 6 years old, he asked his father for Radha-Krishna deities. His father purchased Them, and Swamiji as a child offered his food to Them in imitation of the offerings his father made. They also visited a temple of Krishna. Swamiji as a child watched for hours. These are the gains of being born in a family like that.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Narada says even if you come to Krishna consciousness because you are crazy, all right, still it is good.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The third kind of family the fallen yogi is born into is a family of yogis. This is the best kind. The brahmin<\/i> may think he has nothing to learn. The rich man\u2019s son may become a drunkard. When you are born in one of these families, you start to remember what you learned of Krishna in the previous life. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji said: \u201cI MAY TELL YOU THAT THOSE WHO HAVE TAKEN THIS SOCIETY, KRISHNA CONSCIOUSNESS, VERY SERIOUSLY, THEY ARE NOT ORDINARY PERSONS. THEY MUST HAVE HAD SUCH CULTURE IN THEIR PREVIOUS LIVES. NOW THEY ARE AGAIN TRYING TO REVIVE IT.\u201d The asset is there.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That was very interesting that Swamiji said we must have been yogis in past lives and that is why we are taking to Krishna consciousness now. I don\u2019t remember anything from my past life, especially about Krishna, but he said so according to the Bhagwad-gita<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I want to go on carefully listening to his lectures. Umapati keeps exact notes for publishing in BTG. Mine are more for myself. This is the only writing I am doing now.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 8, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa dasa Brahmacari, January 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Diary notes from morning lecture, Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i>, Madhya 21.35<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna is \u201chome-ly\u201d \u2013 He is proprietor of every place, but He has His own place. We falsely claim a piece of land as ours. Actually, nothing is ours. There is a saying, \u201cI beg vegetables to eat, and sleep in the marketplace, so where is my home?\u201d We claim land is ours, so there can be no peace. Goloka is His abode in the spiritual sky. Planets are round but Goloka is lotus-like. As sunlight for the universe comes from the sun, so all light comes from Goloka. All the universes come from Krishna in Goloka; this one universe we live in is insignificant. Within the earth, U.S.A. is a small part, and in U.S.A., New York City is still more insignificant, \u201cand in that NYC, this 26 Second Avenue is insignificant, and we are sitting here. So just see how insignificant we are. And we are claiming we are God.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We laughed when Swamiji said that, we are here at 26 Second Avenue. As he was saying it, we sensed it, getting more and more insignificant. He laughed, too. We are in one tiny corner of everything. It is wonderful that he did that \u2013 and we can know it all comes from Krishna. We get in touch with original Krishna by chanting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I used to doodle these bass players all the time. Now that I\u2019m in Krishna consciousness, I should give it up. Better to have them play in kirtan<\/i> like the man who played bass when we had kirtan<\/i> at Dr. Mishra\u2019s asrama<\/i>. Otherwise, I want to let these things go from my past. I only want to do things approved by my spiritual master.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That publisher from Chicago came to New York City. He published a segment of my novel on Svevo. He was surprised to find me a disciple of the Swami. He came and sat on the floor with me in my apartment. He wasn\u2019t particularly impressed by my \u201creligion.\u201d He noticed that the thumbnail on my left hand is filled with grooves and asked me if it had been injured. \u201cI\u2019m not sure what it\u2019s from,\u201d I said, \u201cmaybe nail-biting.\u201d It was as if he wanted to say something actual, true and meaningful, personal, and perceptive, so he chose to comment on my pitiful-looking thumbnail. But I am not this body. Talking about my thumbnail didn\u2019t bring us much of an intimate exchange.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Anyway, I said to him, maybe I can write a sequel to the novel telling how Svevo joined the Hare Krishna movement. He said okay. Rayarama came and met him. Then the publisher left. I don\u2019t think I even have his address. He\u2019ll probably go see Murray and Steve and see what they\u2019re writing. His coming here was like a visit from my past self. But I\u2019m fixed in Krishna consciousness now. I probably won\u2019t find time to write that sequel. I\u2019m definitely not very interested in reliving the scenes with Eliot and Anna and all the stuff that Svevo went through. But a sequel might be good for preaching purposes.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I asked Swamiji last night about whether I should write the sequel. He said, \u201cYes, you can do it.\u201d I felt foolish telling him somebody wanted to publish something that I had written. I didn\u2019t want Swamiji to misunderstand. He understood perfectly well. He said, \u201cBut they should pay you. Just because you are religious does not mean you should get less money or no money. You should get more.\u201d That\u2019s all he said. So let\u2019s see what happens about that.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa Brahmacari, 1966 C.c. Notes Continued: Principal Incarnations<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lord Caitanya is describing the principal incarnations. Swamiji said there is a list in Srimad-Bhagwatam<\/i>. Lord Buddha is there: \u201cDo not think Hindus have disregard for Lord Buddha or Lord Jesus Christ. They have all regard. Anyone who comes as a representative of God or powerful incarnation, they are welcome.\u201d They speak differently from Vedic conclusions due to time, place, and persons. They are powerful incarnations. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So Krishna is on this list, and He is like the original candle. Swamiji said, \u201cI have several times mentioned in this room\u201d (he has said before that Krishna is like the original candle).<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

All incarnations are parts, or parts of the parts, but Krishna is the original. He protects Indra from his enemies. Indra is like the heavenly king. There is the concept of Satan. When there is Satanic influence over the devotees and the demigods, then Krishna comes. When religion is low, and the laws are disobeyed, He comes.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A layman can\u2019t make up religion. God comes and He gives dharma<\/i>. If people make it up nowadays, that is not real religion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Days end with kirtan<\/i>, dancing in a circle with other devotees before Swamiji. That cleanses me of all dirt accumulated during the day. Not just during the day, but for many lifetimes. I believe this because I can feel it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got Swamiji\u2019s manuscript to type. I\u2019m fortunate! Ready to work for him at the welfare office on East 5th<\/sup> Street.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji has allowed me to convert my energy from material to spiritual. O creative spirit of devotional life, please let me serve the Lord and the Lord\u2019s pure devotee. Swamiji, I don\u2019t know anything but what you teach. You are kind to us. I am a fool of false ego. But you say I can learn Bhagwad-gita.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Can a Pure Devotee Have Personal Preferences?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The first time I encountered this question was in 1966. Devotees were taking lunch prasadam<\/i> with Srila Prabhupada one day when a young, rather unsubmissive man came into the Swami\u2019s apartment for lunch. I remember that Prabhupada was sprinkling hot sauce on his meal. This young man asked Prabhupada why he was eating this sauce. He replied that he liked it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The young man became doubtful when Prabhupada said that. He said something to the effect: \u201cYou use hot sauce just because you like it? You mean there\u2019s no special spiritual significance?\u201d The young man looked around at us as if to show that he had caught Srila Prabhupada in some relative position, or as if he had defeated him in a debate. I remember thinking that this man\u2019s attitude was ridiculous and offensive, but I also saw the point he was trying to make. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Is Prabhupada\u2019s sprinkling of hot sauce on his meal in this category? Is he doing it for his own sense gratification? Who can know Prabhupada\u2019s inner meditation when he sprinkled that sauce? Also, Vaisnavas are not extreme tyagis<\/i>. They do not have to prove their devotion by sprinkling ashes on their food or not eating at all. They accept Krishna\u2019s mercy in the form of prasadam<\/i>. What is the harm if they add seasonings to their food? Prabhupada himself ate very simply. He was elderly and ate things that stimulated his digestion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His preferences were expressions of Krishna consciousness to us. We were always intrigued and happy to find out the little things that Prabhupada liked. It brought us closer to him. It taught us how to serve him better. In fact, an expert disciple was one who knew exactly how Prabhupada liked his room to be arranged, how to cook for him, how to arrange his schedule, and so on. Even today, the more things you know about how Prabhupada conducted things, the more qualified you to serve in ISKCON.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa dasa Brahamacari \u2013 A Poem from 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On Going (from the Storefront) into the Street<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lord Visnu, guard this boy as he goes out
\nor if You want me to die today, take me.
\nI can\u2019t fall in the street or be crushed or stabbed.
\nThat can only happen to the body.
\nLet me chant the Lord\u2019s Holy Names
\nat the end and right now.
\nAnd here is my identity
\nin case no one knows,
\na disciple of A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami.
\nTell him I was on an errand for him.
\nBut I don\u2019t want this to happen.
\nI am only beginning to learn bhakti
\nand my heart and brainstuff is dirty.
\nI\u2019m going out now, Lord Vishnu,
\nand I pray to stay within You.
\nAll glories to You and to those devotees
\nlike Swamiji and Narada and Vyasadeva,
\nwho tell us how to join with Krishna
\nin the eternal blissful world.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/a>\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada in the Summer<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The summer of 1966 moved along, and Prabhupada kept good health. For him these were happy days. New Yorkers complained of the summer heat waves, but this caused no inconvenience to one accustomed to the 100-degree-plus temperatures of Vrindavana\u2019s blazing summers. \u201cIt is like India,\u201d he said, as he went without a shirt, seeming relaxed and at home. He had thought that in America he would have to subsist on boiled potatoes (otherwise there would be nothing but meat), but here he was happily eating the same rice, dal<\/i> and capatis<\/i>, and cooking on the same three-stacked cooker as in India. Work on the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> had also gone on regularly since he had moved into the Second Avenue apartment. And now Krishna was bringing these sincere young men who were cooking, typing, hearing him regularly, chanting Hare Krishna, and asking for more.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was still a solitary preacher, free to stay or go, writing his books in his own intimate relationship with Krishna \u2013 quite independent of the boys in the storefront. But now he had taken the International Society for Krishna Consciousness as his spiritual child. The inquiring young men, some of whom had already been chanting steadily for over a month, were like stumbling spiritual infants, and he felt responsible for guiding them. They were beginning to consider him their spiritual master, trusting him to lead them into spiritual life. Although they were unable to immediately follow the multifarious rules that brahmanas<\/i> and Vaisnavas in India followed, he was hopeful. According to Rupa Gosvami the most important principle was that one should \u201csomehow or other\u201d become Krishna conscious. People should chant Hare Krishna and render devotional service. They should engage whatever they had in the service of Krishna. And Prabhupada was exercising this basic principle of Krishna consciousness to the furthest limit the history of Vaisnavism had ever seen.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Sole Bearer and Maintainer<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although he was engaging the boys in cooking and typing, Prabhupada was not doing any less himself. Rather, for every sincere soul who came forward to ask for service, a hundred came who wanted not to serve but to challenge. Speaking to them, sometimes shouting and pounding his fists, Prabhupada defended Krishna against the Mayavada philosophy. This was also his service to Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura. He had not come to America to retire. So with the passing of each new day came yet another confirmation that his work and his followers and his challengers would only increase.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

How much he could do was up to Krishna. \u201cI am an old man,\u201d he said. \u201cI may go away at any moment.\u201d But if he were to \u201cgo away\u201d now, certainly Krishna consciousness would also go away, because the Krishna consciousness society was nothing but him: his figure leading the chanting while his head moved back and forth in small motions of ecstasy, his figure walking in and out of the temple through the courtyard or into the apartment, his person sitting down smilingly to discuss philosophy by the hour \u2013 he was the sole bearer and maintainer of the small, fragile, controlled atmosphere of Krishna consciousness on New York\u2019s Lower East Side.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 14, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Talks of His Childhood<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He talked of his childhood at the turn of the century, when street lamps were gas-lit, and carriages and horse-drawn trams were the only vehicles on Calcutta\u2019s dusty streets. These talks charmed the boys even more than the transcendental philosophy of Bhagavad-gita<\/i> and drew them affectionately to him. He told about his father, Gour Mohan De, a pure Vaisnava. His father had been a cloth merchant, and his family had been intimately related with the aristocratic Mulliks of Calcutta. The Mulliks had a deity of Krishna, and Prabhupada\u2019s father had given him a deity to worship as a child. He used to imitate the worship of the Govinda deity in the Mulliks\u2019 temple. As a boy, he had held his own Ratha-yatra festivals each year, imitating in miniature the gigantic festival at Jagannatha Puri, and his father\u2019s friends used to jest: \u201cOh, the Ratha-yatra ceremony is going on at your home, and you do not invite us? What is this?\u201d His father would reply, \u201cThis is a child\u2019s play, that\u2019s all.\u201d But the neighbors said, \u201cOh, child\u2019s play? You are avoiding us by saying it\u2019s for children?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada fondly remembered his father, who had never wanted him to be a worldly man, who had given him lessons in mrdanga<\/i>, and who had prayed to visiting sadhus<\/i> that one day the boy would grow up to be a devotee of Radharani.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lunch With Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At noon the front room became a dining hall and in the evenings a place of intimate worship. Prabhupada kept the room, with its twelve-foot-square hardwood parquet floor, clean and bare; the solitary coffee table against the wall between the two courtyard windows was the only furniture. Daily at noon a dozen men were now taking lunch here with him. The meal was cooked by Keith, who spent the whole morning in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At first Keith had cooked only for the Swami. He had mastered the art of cooking dal<\/i>, rice, and sabji<\/i> in the Swami\u2019s three-tiered boiler, and usually there had been enough for one or two guests as well. But soon more guests had begun to gather, and Prabhupada told Keith to increase the quantity (abandoning the small three-tiered cooker) until he was cooking for a dozen hungry men. The boarders, Raphael and Don, though not so interested in the Swami\u2019s talk, would arrive punctually each day for prasadam<\/i>, usually with a friend or two who had wandered into the storefront. Steve would drop by from his job at the welfare office. The Mott Street group would come. And there were others.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Cooking in the Kitchen<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The kitchen was stocked with standard Indian spices: fresh chillies, fresh ginger root, whole cumin seeds, turmeric, and asafoetida. Keith mastered the basic cooking techniques and passed them on to Chuck, who became his assistant. Some of the other boys would stand at the doorway of the narrow kitchenette to watch Keith, as one thick, pancakelike cap\u0101t\u012b<\/i> after another blew up like an inflated football over the open flame and then took its place in the steaming rack.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

While the fine basmati<\/i> rice boiled to a moist, fluffy-white finish and the sabji<\/i> simmered, the noon cooking would climax with \u201cthe chaunce<\/i>.\u201d Keith prepared the chaunce<\/i> exactly as Swamiji had shown him. Over the flame he set a small metal cup, half-filled with clarified butter, and then put in cumin seeds. When the seeds turned almost black, he added chillies, and as the chillies blackened, a choking smoke would begin to pour from the cup. Now the chaunce<\/i> was ready. With his cook\u2019s tongs, Keith lifted the cup, its boiling, crackling mixture fuming like a sorcerer\u2019s kettle, and brought it to the edge of the pot of boiling dal<\/i>. He opened the tight cover slightly, dumped the boiling chaunce<\/i> into the dal<\/i> with a flick of his wrist, and immediately replaced the lid . . . POW! The meeting of the chaunce<\/i> and dal<\/i> created an explosion, which was then greeted by cheers from the doorway, signifying that the cooking was now complete. This final operation was so volatile that it once blew the top of the pot to the ceiling with a loud smash, causing minor burns to Keith\u2019s hand. Some of the neighbors complained of acrid, penetrating fumes. But the devotees loved it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji and the Boys<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When lunch was ready, Swamiji would wash his hands and mouth in the bathroom and come into the front room, his soft, pink-bottomed feet always bare, his saffron dhoti<\/i> reaching down to his ankles. He would stand by the coffee table, which held the picture of Lord Caitanya and His associates, while his own associates stood around him against the walls. Keith would bring in a big tray of cap\u0101t\u012bs<\/i>, stacked by the dozens, and place it on the floor before the altar table, along with pots of rice, dal <\/i>and sabji<\/i>. Swamiji would then recite the Bengali prayer for offering food to the Lord, and all present would follow him by bowing down, knees and head to the floor, and approximating the Bengali prayer one word at a time. While the steam and mixed aromas drifted up like an offering of incense before the picture of Lord Caitanya, the Swami\u2019s followers bowed their heads to the wooden floor and mumbled the prayer.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada then sat with his friends, eating the same prasadam<\/i> as they, with the addition of a banana and a metal bowl full of hot milk. He would slice the banana by pushing it downward against the edge of the bowl, letting the slices fall into the hot milk.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cTake More\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s open decree that everyone should eat as much prasadam<\/i> as possible created a humorous mood and a family feeling. No one was allowed to simply sit, picking at his food, nibbling politely. They ate with a gusto Swamiji almost insisted upon. If he saw someone not eating heartily, he would call the person\u2019s name and protest, \u201cWhy are you not eating? Take prasadam<\/i>.\u201d And he would laugh. \u201cWhen I was coming to your country on the boat,\u201d he said, \u201cI thought, \u2018How will the Americans ever eat this food?\u2019 \u201d And as the boys pushed their plates forward for more, Keith would serve seconds \u2013 more rice, dal<\/i>, cap\u0101t\u012bs<\/i> and sabji<\/i>. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After all, it was spiritual. You were supposed to eat a lot. It would purify you. It would free you from maya. Besides, it was good, delicious, spicy. This was better than American food. It was like chanting. It was far out. You got high from eating this food.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

They ate with the right hand, Indian style. Keith and Howard had already learned this and had even tasted similar dishes, but as they told the Swami and a room full of believers, the food in India had never been this good.<\/p>\n

June 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Become Preachers<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is asking his hearers, who are only beginners in spiritual life, to become totally dedicated preachers of Krishna consciousness: \u201cIn the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, you will find that anyone who preaches the gospel of Bhagavad-gita<\/i> to the people of the world is the most dear, the dearest person to Krishna. Therefore it is our duty to preach the principles of this Bhagavad-gita<\/i> to make people Krishna conscious.\u201d Prabhupada can\u2019t wait to tell them \u2013 even if they aren\u2019t ready. It\u2019s too urgent. The world needs Krishna conscious preachers.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

People are suffering for want of Krishna consciousness. Therefore, each and every one of us should be engaged in the preaching work of Krishna consciousness for the benefit of the whole world. Lord Caitanya, whose picture is in the front of our store, has very nicely preached the philosophy of Krishna consciousness. The Lord says, \u201cJust take my orders, all of you, and become a spiritual master.\u201d Lord Caitanya gives the order that in every country you go and preach Krishna consciousness. So if we take up this missionary work to preach <\/i>Bhagavad-gita as it is, without interpretation, and without any material motives behind it \u2013 as it is \u2013 then Krishna says it shall be done. We should not have any attraction for worldly activities, otherwise we can\u2019t have Krishna. But it doesn\u2019t mean that we should be inimical to the people of the world. No, it is our duty to give them the highest instruction, that you become Krishna conscious.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Boarders<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a>As Prabhupada retired to his apartment and his guests disappeared through the front door, back into the city, Don and Raphael would turn out the lights, lock the front door, and go to sleep on the floor in their blankets. Don and Raphael had needed a place to stay when they heard about the Swami\u2019s place. Prabhupada had a policy that any boy who expressed even a little interest in becoming his student could stay in the storefront and make it his home. Of course, Prabhupada would ask them to contribute toward the rent and meals, but if, like Don and Raphael, they had no money, then it was still all right, provided they helped in other ways. Don and Raphael were the first two boys to take advantage of Prabhupada\u2019s offer. They were attracted to Swamiji and the chanting, but they weren\u2019t serious about his philosophy or the disciplines of devotional life. They had no jobs and no money, their hair was long and unkempt, and they lived and slept in the same clothes day after day. Prabhupada stipulated that at least while they were on the premises they could not break his rules \u2013 no intoxication, illicit sex, meat-eating, or gambling. He knew these two boarders weren\u2019t serious students, but he allowed them to stay, in hopes that gradually they would become serious.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Don and Raphael were the Swami\u2019s steady boarders, although during the day they also went out, returning only for meals, sleep, and evening chanting. Occasionally they would bathe, and then they would use the Swami\u2019s bathroom in his apartment. Sometimes they would hang out in the storefront during the day, and if someone stopped by, asking about the Swami\u2019s classes, they would tell the person all they knew (which wasn\u2019t much). They admitted that they weren\u2019t really into the Swami\u2019s philosophy, and they didn\u2019t claim to be his followers. If someone persisted in inquiring about the Swami\u2019s teachings, Don and Raphael would suggest, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you go up and talk to him? The Swami lives in the apartment building out back. Why don\u2019t you go up and see him?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Writing<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mostly he kept to his room, working. As he had said during a lecture when living on the Bowery, \u201cI am here always working at something, reading or writing \u2013 something, reading or writing \u2013 twenty-four hours.\u201d His mission of translating Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, of presenting the complete work in sixty volumes of four hundred pages each, could alone occupy all his days and nights. He worked at it whenever possible, sitting at his portable typewriter or translating the Sanskrit into English.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He especially worked in the very early hours of the morning, when he would not be interrupted. He would comb through the Sanskrit and Bengali commentaries of the great acaryas<\/i>, following their explanations, selecting passages from them, adding his own knowledge and realization, and then laboriously weaving it all together and typing out his Bhaktivedanta purports. He had no means or immediate plans for financing the publishing of further volumes, but he continued in the faith that somehow they would be published.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Answering Inquiries<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He had a broad mission, broader even than translating Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, and so he gave much of his time and energy to meeting visitors. Had his only aim been to write, then there would have been no need to have taken the risk and trouble of coming to America. Now many people were coming, and an important part of his mission was to talk to them and convince them of Krishna consciousness. His visitors were usually young men who had recently come to live on the Lower East Side. He had no secretary to screen his visitors, nor did he have scheduled visiting hours. Whenever anyone happened by, at any time, from early morning to ten at night, Prabhupada would stop his typing or translating and speak with them. It was an open neighbourhood, and many visitors would come by right off the street. Some were serious, but many not; some even came intoxicated. Often they came not to inquire submissively but to challenge.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Once a young hippie on an LSD trip found his way upstairs and sat opposite the Swami: \u201cRight now I am higher than you are,\u201d he announced. \u201cI am God.\u201d<\/i> Prabhupada bowed his head slightly, his palms folded: \u201cPlease accept my obeisances,\u201d he said. Then he asked \u201cGod\u201d to please leave. Others admitted frankly that they were crazy or haunted by ghosts and sought relief from their mental suffering.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Challenges<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One young man approached the Swami asking, \u201cWhat book will lecture from next week? Will you be teaching the Tibetan Book of the Dead<\/i>?\u201d as if Prabhupada would teach spirituality like a college survey course in world religions. \u201cEverything is there in Bhagavad-gita<\/i>,\u201d Prabhupada replied. \u201cWe could study one verse for three months.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And there were other questions: \u201cWhat about Camus?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is his philosophy?\u201d Prabhupada would ask.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cHe says everything is absurd and the only philosophical question is whether to commit suicide.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThat means that everything is absurd for him<\/i>. The material world is absurd, but there is a spiritual world beyond this one. That means he does not know the soul. The soul cannot be killed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Adherents of various thinkers approached him: \u201cWhat about Nietzsche? Kafka? Timothy Leary? Bob Dylan?\u201d Prabhupada would ask what their philosophy was, and the particular follower would have to explain and defend his favorite intellectual hero.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThey are all mental speculators,\u201d Prabhupada would say. \u201cHere in this material world we are all conditioned souls. Your knowledge is imperfect. Your senses are blunt. What good is your opinion<\/i>? We have to hear from the perfect authority, Krishna.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you mean to say that none of the great thinkers are God conscious?\u201d a boy asked.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cTheir sincerity is their God consciousness. But if we want perfect knowledge of God, then we have to consult sastra<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Exchanges<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He would listen also, and he heard a wide range of local testimonies. He heard the dissatisfaction of young Americans with the war and with American society. One boy told him he didn\u2019t want to get married because he couldn\u2019t find a chaste girl; it was better to go with prostitutes. Another confided that his mother had planned to abort him, but at the last moment his grandmother had convinced her not to. He heard from homosexuals. Someone told him that a set of New Yorkers considered it chic to eat the flesh of aborted babies. And in every case, he told them the truth.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He talked with Marxists and explained that although Marx says that everything is the property of the State, the fact is that everything is the property of God. Only \u201cspiritual communism,\u201d which puts God in the center, can actually be successful. He discounted LSD visions as hallucinations and explained how God can be seen factually and what God looks like.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although these one-time visitors came and went away, a few new friends began to stay on, watching the Swami deal with different guests. They began to appreciate the Swami\u2019s arguments, his concern for people, and his devotion to Krishna. He seemed actually to know how to help people, and he invariably offered them Krishna consciousness \u2013 as much as they could take \u2013 as the solution to their problems. A few began to take the Swami\u2019s message to heart.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Plans for Incorporation<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWe shall call our society ISKCON.\u201d Prabhupada had laughed playfully when he first coined the acronym.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He had initiated the legal work of incorporation that spring, while still living on the Bowery. But even before its legal beginning, he had been talking about his \u201cInternational Society for Krishna Consciousness,\u201d and so it had appeared in letters to India and in The Village Voice<\/i>. A friend had suggested a title that would sound more familiar to Westerners, \u201cInternational Society for God<\/i> Consciousness,\u201d but Prabhupada had insisted: \u201cKrishna<\/i> Consciousness.\u201d \u201cGod\u201d was a vague term, whereas \u201cKrishna\u201d was exact and scientific; \u201cGod consciousness\u201d was spiritually weaker, less personal. And if Westerners didn\u2019t know that Krishna was God, then the International Society for Krishna<\/i> Consciousness would tell them, by spreading His glories \u201cin every town and village.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cKrishna consciousness\u201d was Prabhupada\u2019s own rendering of a phrase from Srila Rupa Gosvami\u2019s Padyavali<\/i>, written in the sixteenth century. Krsna-bhakti-rasa-bhavita<\/i>: \u201cto be absorbed in the mellow taste of executing devotional service to Krishna.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But to register ISKCON legally as a non-profit, tax-exempt religion required money and a lawyer. Carl Yeargens had already gained some experience in forming religious, political, and social welfare groups, and when he had met Prabhupada on the Bowery he had agreed to help. He had contacted his lawyer, Stephen Goldsmith.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Stephen Goldsmith, a young Jewish lawyer with a wife and two children and an office on Park Avenue, was interested in spiritual movements. When Carl told him about Prabhupada\u2019s plans, he was immediately fascinated by the idea of setting up a religious corporation for an Indian swami. He visited Prabhupada at 26 Second Avenue, and they discussed incorporation, tax exemption, Prabhupada\u2019s immigration status, and Krishna consciousness. Mr. Goldsmith visited Prabhupada several times. Once he brought his children, who liked the \u201csoup\u201d the Swami cooked. He began attending the evening lectures, where he was often the only nonhippie member of the congregation. One evening, having completed all the legal groundwork and being ready to complete the procedures for incorporation, Mr. Goldsmith came to Prabhupada\u2019s lecture and kirtana<\/i> to get signatures from the trustees for the new society.<\/p>\n

June 26, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Signing In the Incorporation<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is lecturing.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mr. Goldsmith, wearing slacks and a shirt and tie, sits on the floor near the door, listening earnestly to the lecture, despite the distracting noises from the neighbourhood. Prabhupada has been explaining how scholars mislead innocent people with nondevotional interpretations of the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, and now, in recognition of the attorney\u2019s respectable presence, and as if to catch Mr. Goldsmith\u2019s attention better, he introduces him into the subject of the talk.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I will give you a practical example of how things are misinterpreted. Just like our president, Mr. Goldsmith, he knows that expert lawyers, by interpretation, can do so many things. When I was in Calcutta, there was a rent tax passed by the government, and some expert lawyer changed the whole thing by his interpretation. The government had to re-enact a whole law because their purpose was foiled by the interpretation of this lawyer. So we are not out for foiling the purpose of Krishna, for which the <\/i>Bhagavad-gita was spoken. But unauthorized persons are trying to foil the purpose of Krishna. Therefore, that is unauthorized.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

All right, Mr. Goldsmith, you can ask anything.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mr. Goldsmith stands, and to the surprise of the people gathered, he makes a short announcement asking for signers on an incorporation document for the Swami\u2019s new religious movement.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: They are present here. You can take the addresses now.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mr. Goldsmith: I can take them now, yes.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Yes, you can. Bill, you can give your address. And Raphael, you can give yours. And Don \u2026 Roy \u2026 Mr. Greene.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As the meeting breaks up, those called on to sign as trustees come forward, standing around in the little storefront, waiting to leaf cursorily through the pages the lawyer has produced from his thin attach\u00e9, and to sign as he directs. Yet not a soul among them is committed to Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mr. Goldsmith meets his quota of signers \u2013 a handful of sympathizers with enough reverence toward the Swami to want to help him. The first trustees, who will hold office for a year, \u201cuntil the first annual meeting of the corporation,\u201d are Michael Grant (who puts down his name and address without ever reading the document), Mike\u2019s girlfriend, Jan, and James Greene. No one seriously intends to undertake any formal duties as trustee of the religious society, but they are happy to help the Swami by signing his fledging society into legal existence.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 27, 2016 <\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Remembering the Early Exchanges with Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If the spiritual world is the real goal, then why do I keep going back to that infinitesimal span of time \u2013 the 1966 days? Prabhupada\u2019s lila<\/i> was so sweet then, and it was also a special time for me, the time when he lifted me out of the cycle of birth and death. I cannot help remembering it now. That remembrance reinforces my conviction not to fall back into material life. I am not clear yet, I am surrounded by temptations. I have not completed the process. My material desires can still attract me, especially if I forget how implicated in the material world I was before I met Prabhupada. But I gratefully remember those days in 1966, the first days of my spiritual life and the first days of Prabhupada\u2019s mission in the West, by falling on my knees and thanking him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I remember in the very early days when Swamiji started looking for a new building in New York City. We didn\u2019t get one, and we had to stay at 26 Second Avenue. But there were adventures connected with the search. One time, we saw a place on the second floor somewhere that required a lot of work. The room was filled with lumber and was very dirty. After we checked it out, we went back to 26 Second Avenue and sat with Swamiji in his room. Swamiji turned to me and asked, \u201cMr. Secretary, what did you think of the place?\u201d I gave my opinion, feeling important because of the way Prabhupada had addressed me. I was touched that he asked my opinion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Why do I ever forget these little exchanges? Why don\u2019t I always remember them and know that Prabhupada loves me, that my real relationship with him consists of typing for him, writing for him, always being his affectionate servant?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Highest Sense<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Take heart, here\u2019s new singing<\/p>\n

to the evergreen Cupid.<\/p>\n

He is Syamasundara and<\/p>\n

shining like a fresh rain cloud.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery second of human life is meant for making an ultimate solution of the problems of life, i.e., repetition of birth and death and revolving in the cycle of 84 lakhs of different species of life.\u201d \u2013 Swami A.C. Bhaktivedanta <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We have only minute independence<\/p>\n

but it overwhelms us.<\/p>\n

The energy of our body we run<\/p>\n

like a crazy machine<\/p>\n

to hear it roar only \u2013<\/p>\n

the fingertips, the ears,<\/p>\n

the monkey we are \u2013 what<\/p>\n

nonsense without spirit soul!<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Like a dog we run<\/p>\n

2 miles one way and<\/p>\n

return 2 miles the other way,<\/p>\n

stopping at hotels and<\/p>\n

motels, slamming and opening <\/p>\n

the car door and eating<\/p>\n

any junk food put on the counter<\/p>\n

and talking about the newspapers and<\/p>\n

the radio \u2013 what<\/p>\n

rubbish without cultivation of the soul!<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We are driving the<\/p>\n

machine but we\u2019re so obsessed<\/p>\n

we think \u201cI am the machine,\u201d<\/p>\n

and we waste our power and <\/p>\n

only a few times a day<\/p>\n

we have to think \u201cWhat is God?\u201d<\/p>\n

But we dismiss it, \u201cWho cares?<\/p>\n

Throw Him away! We are God!\u201d<\/p>\n

And the highest pleasure is to<\/p>\n

park our machine in some<\/p>\n

garage with another machine<\/p>\n

and run our engines<\/p>\n

together and we<\/p>\n

call that Love.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The aim of life is spirit.<\/p>\n

Even the hogland fools<\/p>\n

should know it. This<\/p>\n

is the highest pleasure:<\/p>\n

the soul as the only Sense.<\/p>\n

Drive those cars into towns<\/p>\n

in the morning and at night<\/p>\n

and use the hotels \u2013 <\/p>\n

for kirtan<\/i> parties to stay overnight<\/p>\n

and chant Hare Krishna and give our great<\/p>\n

prasadam<\/i> feasts of sweet rice, halava and puris<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

offered to Lord Sri Krishna\u2019s senses<\/p>\n

<\/a>and use the main ballroom <\/p>\n

and the hall and the theater<\/p>\n

and the public park and the downtown road<\/p>\n

for mass dancing <\/p>\n

to the sound of voice<\/p>\n

and cymbals <\/p>\n

and drums of kirtan<\/i><\/p>\n

and let the neons light up:<\/p>\n

GLORIES TO GOVINDA!<\/p>\n

and speed the cars and planes<\/p>\n

to cities like Dvaraka<\/p>\n

built just to please Him<\/p>\n

and turn the Love for cats and dogs and machines<\/p>\n

into Krishna Who reciprocates with His devotees<\/p>\n

as Friend and Master and Lover \u2013<\/p>\n

He will hear the rejoicing of<\/p>\n

victory over matter<\/p>\n

and will release us from this<\/p>\n

nasty world, which<\/p>\n

even if transformed, will have to perish<\/p>\n

when only Krishna will be standing<\/p>\n

in a nicely curved position,<\/p>\n

dark blue like a rain cloud,<\/p>\n

and playing His flute.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

More Satsvarupa dasa Brahmacari 1966 Bhagwad-geeta<\/i> Lecture Notes \u2013 <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna is teaching how to become Krishna conscious at every step. When you drink water, the \u201cjuice\u201d of it is Krishna. It comes from God; you can\u2019t drink gold. That which you can\u2019t produce by any human being, that is God. And illumination is Krishna. (As Swamiji spoke, a guy came to the front door with a loud, portable radio. People in the storefront turned to see. Swamiji said, \u201cThat\u2019s all right.\u201d)<\/i> The mantra omkara<\/i> is God. Whenever you hear some sound vibration, that is a reflection of spiritual sound. Therefore you can remember God as the sun, as water, as mantra, and as any sound \u2013 where can\u2019t you remember God?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The best way to associate with God is by hearing. Our material contamination gets reduced by hearing. As the sun can purify you, so association with Krishna takes away contamination. (Swamiji said more how the sun cures disease.)<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Try it, associate with Krishna. There will be no problem. Do it by sounds (Hare Krishna) and practice this consciousness, \u201cThe water is Krishna,\u201d etc. Our present stage is forgetfulness. We have to revive.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna is also desire without attraction. How can this be: It is Krishna consciousness \u2013 I desire for Krishna\u2019s benefit, not mine. Lust that is not against religion \u2013 all other sex life is not religious. Sex in marriage is religion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes, when I come back to my apartment in the middle of the day, I feel peeved if I see a couple of guys crashed out on the mattress. I think I\u2019m working hard and they\u2019re not. But all in all, I wouldn\u2019t trade my former \u201chousekeeper\u2019s solitude\u201d for the association of Vaisnavas.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji likes it too, I think, that I share what I have. He knows the devotees use my place (it\u2019s not \u201cmy\u201d place anymore. It never was.) It relieves Swamiji too, because now people don\u2019t have to use his bathroom. They come over here in the morning.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the morning I don\u2019t mind it. It\u2019s nice. I chant japa<\/i> sitting up straight in my space, and, one after another, the devotees come into the apartment and use the bathroom. When they are waiting for the bathroom to get free, they sit with me and chant. It\u2019s a nice camaraderie.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t expect Swamiji would ever come here, but it\u2019s his place. They call it an \u201cextension\u201d of the storefront.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes we have good talks here. Acyutananda came over once and he said he is taking to Krishna consciousness because it is the best thing he has ever found. He always wants the best thing. Theoretically, he said, if there was something better than this, he would go to that. But this is the best, the Absolute Truth, and Krishna is the original form as the all-attractive.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Rayarama encourages me about my parents\u2019 rejecting me. Hayagriva sometimes uses the place to do editing. (He\u2019s the one that also crashes out the most.) Brahmananda and Gargamuni come too. Everybody comes by. The little French janitor curses under his breath when he sees the devotees. He says the landlord didn\u2019t rent this apartment to so many people. But I don\u2019t care. We just walk past him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

June 30, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Wisps of Remembrance , 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was thinking this morning about those persons who don\u2019t understand the English language. I was trying to imagine what it was like. I looked at a picture of Prabhupada in 1966 and thought, \u201cIf I didn\u2019t know what he was saying, he would be the great spiritual leader who spoke in a language I didn\u2019t understand. Sometimes I hear the sound of his voice, but it makes no sense to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Then I thought, \u201cOh, I would be at a great disadvantage if I couldn\u2019t understand his language,\u201d but then I tried to realize how hard it is not to appreciate Prabhupada as a great spiritual master. These devotees who don\u2019t speak English have some of Prabhupada\u2019s books translated in their languages, and although no translation can do justice to the original language in which something was written, there is no lacking.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we walked with Prabhupada, we always tried to ensure that everything was done nicely. There should be nothing on the path that he might trip on, no low-hanging branches to possibly lash him in the face. If he needed it, there should be a car or taxi to take him where he wanted to go. There should be no inimical persons around who could harm him, and everything should run smoothly. We tried to be attentive to his every need.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we walked with Prabhupada, the world was full of excitement and possible danger. We had to be alert with all our senses, completely absorbed in serving him as he so mildly and humbly walked through the world. Sometimes we were awkward and fumbling beside his grace. We always took pleasure in just being there with him, although there was no time for relishing that while we were walking. We were serving him, and we didn\u2019t want our \u201cecstasy\u201d to get in the way. We were happy to face anyone and anything on his behalf, and therefore, we were concerned that our appearance was neat and our mood surrendered.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

July 1, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa das Brahmacari Bhagwad-geeta <\/i>\u201966 Diary (con\u2019d)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There is no harm in being a householder. No difference between a householder and a sannyasi<\/i>. But a sannyasi<\/i> can\u2019t talk with a woman in a lonely place. Swamiji gave a practical example. Fifty years ago, when his guru maharaja was fifty years old, a young man (a disciple, Dr. O.P. Kapoor) and his wife were talking with Swamiji\u2019s guru maharaja. The wife, who was about 22 years old, said to his guru maharaja, \u201cI want to speak with you confidentially.\u201d His guru maharaja was about fifty years old. This woman was like his granddaughter. But he said, \u201cOh, I cannot speak privately. Whatever you like, you can speak here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji was in his room. I asked him questions. Then he gave me little tasks to do. And the main task for me \u2013 typing his essays and the Bhagwatam<\/i> and Geeta<\/i>. It\u2019s the best way to be with him all the time. I\u2019m immersed in his teachings day and night. All the devotees are. One way or another \u2013 as he wrote on an announcement that\u2019s posted in the storefront \u2013 \u201cDo some work, and if you have none, chant Hare Krishna.\u201d He said we could spend all our time simply chanting Hare Krishna as Haridasa Thakura did. But that\u2019s not possible for us. Therefore, we have activities like producing BTG \u2013 writing, typing the stencils, printing it on the machine, selling them. He said that in one sense, we do other things because we can\u2019t just chant.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 2, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa Brahmacari Caitanya-caritamrta,<\/i> Morning Lecture Notes 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Absolute Truth is one, but seen differently according to a person\u2019s capacity. There are three aspects of the Absolute Truth. One is Brahman, which is like the rays of the sun. (After the lecture, we devotees discussed what he said, and there was confusion and disagreement about the word that sounds like Brahma. So we asked Swamiji in his room. He made it clear. There are three words that sound alike. I think I\u2019ve got them right. Brahma is the name of the demigod, Lord Brahma. Brahman<\/i> is the impersonal feature of the Absolute, the rays. And a brahmin<\/i> is the higher class person who knows the Vedas<\/i>.)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Someone may say the sun is just fire, but it is a planet containing varieties of life. Vedic literature says every planet has variegated life. On the sun, the fiery element is prominent. The living entities are made of fire.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The original effulgence is from Krishna. That Brahman effulgence contains all the spiritual planets. We cannot study even a millionth of His energy. It is futile to deny Krishna because we cannot estimate His energies.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Brahman effulgence is without transcendental bliss. It is the eternal aspect. Peaceful santa-rasa<\/i>. Krishna says I\u2019ve described in a nutshell some of My potencies, but you can know by one part of My energy I sustain all the universes; and I\u2019m in the hearts of all living entities.<\/p>\n

July 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Letter to Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The best way to be with Prabhupada on 26 Second Avenue is to go back in memory, in feelings, in body and mind \u2013 go and be with him. I can go to his room as I used to, alone, and write him a letter: <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dear Swamiji,<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to your lotus feet. It seems a long time since I\u2019ve seen you. It\u2019s nice to be here in your room, and to work in your storefront with the devotees. I am doing my service, but sometimes it\u2019s hard to think of you. This probably is because Maya doesn\u2019t want me to surrender. I would like to express some things to you that are on my mind, to help me get free of maya<\/i>. Probably, if I would read the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> properly, then I wouldn\u2019t be in maya<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am pausing in this letter to Swamiji because I really can\u2019t <\/i>write everything that is on my mind to the spiritual master. One has to render service to him for it to become clear. It sure is nice to be here in his room, looking at his desk, his gray trunk where he writes his books, the picture of Krishna on the wall. Krishna is so nice. I can think of Krishna during the day, and then I won\u2019t be harassed by the sexual innuendos of the women in the office, or by the boss\u2019s demands. I won\u2019t even feel sorry for myself if I just look at Krishna; He is so happy.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I want to follow the Swami\u2019s teachings and pray to Krishna to give realization from the heart. What is it that I want to say to Swamiji in my letter? I don\u2019t only want to tell him that I have doubts. If I am going to write something, I should write about service. Tell him that I like the tapes he is dictating, such as the Narada-bhakti Sutra and Teachings of Lord Caitanya, and that I am willing to work for him and the devotees \u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dear Swamiji,<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I think you have already given me so much mercy by my connection to you. Despite my faults, I will be fixed in Krishna consciousness and able to repeat your teachings with conviction. I really like to hear your lectures, especially in the morning. I still remember when you lectured in December on Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i> about the lila-avataras<\/i> and other teachings of Lord Caitanya. When you speak about Krishna, He is a real person. The avataras<\/i> are real. You give such good arguments that they vanquish all doubts. For example, you said, \u201cWhat is the problem that Krishna can lift a hill \u2013 He is already lifting all the planets, why He cannot lift a hill?\u201d Another time you asked, \u201cWhy He cannot come as a fish; He is not ordinary fish. Krishna can do all these things, although people think it is only a story.\u201d When you say these things, Swamiji, it is very real. I want to stay with you where it is always real.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am glad I was able to say that. I wish I could praise Swamiji more in his presence. Some of the devotees are able to say, \u201cYou are so great, Swamiji,\u201d but I am not able to say those things. Anyway, it is really nice to be here for awhile, in this room where he stays when he is here. I see his sitting place and I can almost see him in my mind, how he talks with the devotees, or sometimes he laughs with them. I see Raphael coming in and saying crazy things. There is a lot of fooling around here sometimes, but anyway, I have to do my bit \u2013 go to work, make money, type. In fact, I had better go home now and do some typing of his tapes.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let me take a last look at his room. It is a small room, and yet, when he is here, people pack in tightly together. They line up along the side of the wall to his right, but most of us are in double rows in front of him. We will line up like that again when he comes and ask him questions. He can reveal to us the knowledge that we cannot know on our own.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Serving Swamiji in His Presence<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If you could actually be in the same place with Prabhupada, then your reward was to see his actual lila<\/i>. On the other hand, if you served him, you had the advantage of actually attracting the pure devotee. By that attraction he would come to you. Prabhupada said that we should not try to see Krishna, but act in such a way that Krishna sees us. He gave the example of an office worker in a big company who does his job very nicely. One day the president of the company examines his file and is impressed at the man\u2019s work. Then the president comes to that man\u2019s desk and congratulates him. We attract Prabhupada by carrying out his orders. <\/p>\n

Sometimes the happy combination occurred when we could please Prabhupada by rendering him service while in his personal presence. This happened the day that I was walking to work up Second Avenue in New York. I met Swamiji walking south toward the storefront. In those days, he didn\u2019t usually take morning walks, but he had started this habit after his stroke.<\/p>\n

I saw him coming around the corner and walking my way. It was a great relief to see him because I was feeling anxious. I was anticipating the difficulty of going to work that day. The caseworkers were on strike, and in order to enter the building, I would have to go through their picket line. I had not joined their strike because I was working for Swamiji. I was not interested in losing weeks of pay in the name of trying to get a higher salary. I knew they would all hoot and holler and threaten to hit me when I walked through their double file.<\/p>\n

Swamiji knew about the welfare strike, and he had already passed the picket lines from the other side of the street that morning. The workers had yelled at him because they knew he was sending me to work. Swamiji was accompanied by Kirtanananda, and just before I reached them, I bowed down to Prabhupada, touching my forehead on the sidewalk. As I rose, I saw Swamiji smiling very beautifully. He reached out and touched me slightly. We exchanged only a few words at that time, and I went off to my task filled with his blessings. That was certainly a moment to treasure: service in Prabhupada\u2019s shelter, approved by him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let us make our hearts pure and enthusiastic to receive him. Then when he comes to see us, we will have something to say to him. His coming will not occur just by our hanging out as a guest, with no particular service, in the temple where Prabhupada is visiting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji, My True Father<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In 1966, Acyutananda dasa\u2019s mother wrote a paper for a New York University psychology course describing the relationship of Prabhupada and his disciples. Her theory was that the young boys who had joined the Hare Krishna movement were from broken families, and that is why they were taking to Krishna consciousness and seeing Prabhupada as their spiritual father. When Acyutananda told this to the devotees we saw it as a joke. His mother hadn\u2019t done any interviewing, but based it all on knowledge of her own son. Perhaps it was a fact that some devotees came from broken homes, yet others came from strong family units, as I did. This was the first time I heard anyone theorizing that the relationship a devotee has with his material father has implications in his relationship with his spiritual father.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Atheist psychologists say that a belief in God is based on a person\u2019s insecurity in his relationship with his seminal father. This theory can also be used to explain why one is attracted to a spiritual father.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

However, according to Vedic sastra<\/i>, God is the Father and the spiritual master is also the father. As stated in the Vedas<\/i>, \u201cIn every species of life one is born with a mother and father, but only in the human life can one obtain a relationship with guru and Krishna.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The theory put forward by Acyutananda\u2019s mother, or by Freud and company, has nothing to do with the fact of God\u2019s existence. The Supreme Lord is independent. He rules all creatures, regardless of our family situations. If some persons seek God partly because of the unhappiness they find in family life, that unhappiness may turn out to be their good fortune. Conversely, if one thinks that because he has a good family life he does not need to seek God, then he is in illusion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

God consciousness is the goal of human life. If a person is born of a mother and father who can give the child love, as well as a God conscious education, then he is very blessed. According to Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, if one is born into a family of transcendentalists, that is the result of good karma.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even one who has a pure devotee as a father still must approach a spiritual master for initiation. It is not true that only someone who has an unhappy relationship with his material father seeks out God or guru.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In my case, I was very much under the domination of my father until about my eighteenth year, and then I gradually began to resent him. I thought he misunderstood me and stifled my individual spirit. I had already broken from my father\u2019s influence as much as was possible, and was living alone when I met Srila Prabhupada. I can recall a specific incident in which I transferred myself as the son of Stephen Guarino, Sr. to become the son of A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. I had informed my father and mother by phone calls and by sending them an ISKCON \u201cProspectus\u201d of my interest in Krishna consciousness and the Swami. To my surprise, my parents strongly rejected it. My father said, \u201cIf you keep going to the Swami, we won\u2019t have anything to do with you.\u201d After that phone call, I went and told Prabhupada what had happened, and that is when the feeling of transfer occurred. Prabhupada saw my dilemma and assured me that he was my father. Through him, I could connect with Lord Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Empowered by His Glance<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

According to the Vedic sastras<\/i>, a pure devotee can impart Krishna consciousness to others through his words, his good wishes, and by his glance. \u201cSimply by seeing such empowered individuals, people from different villages would become like them by the mercy of their glance.\u201d (Cc. Madhya <\/i>7.104)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the confidential exchanges between Radha and Krishna, much is accomplished by the lover\u2019s glances. The gopis<\/i> are thrilled to receive the direct or side-long glance of Sri Krishna, and Lord Krishna is especially anxious to receive the glance of Srimati Radharani. One time while Krishna was searching for Radharani in the groves of Vrindavana, He spoke in this way to a female deer: \u201cO doe, the walking young vine that is the beautiful girl Radha must have passed through this forest because, O friend, I see you have accepted Me as your guru and taken initiation from Her in the art of playful, sweet restless glances.\u201d (Lalita-Madhava<\/i>, Act 9.62)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the loving exchanges between the spiritual master and disciple, Srila Prabhupada\u2019s glances were certainly treasured by his devotees.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I doubt that we fully understand how much those glances went into us and how they stayed with us. The Krishna conscious siddhanta<\/i> asserts that words are able to convey the Absolute Truth, yet we also think that there are certain things which cannot be conveyed fully in words: for example, what it feels like to receive Prabhupada\u2019s glance.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes the glances were loving, and sometimes they reprimanded. If King Mucukunda could reduce a person to fiery ashes just by his gaze, Krishna\u2019s pure devotee could \u201cknock over\u201d a misbehaving disciple.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada\u2019s looks clued us in on his emotions. His eyes sparkled with humor. Tears came to his eyes while talking about the cruelty of cow slaughter. Sometimes, though, his glance excluded us. In a memoir by a Zen student about her guru, she said that when you looked into his eyes you saw \u201ctotal zero for 10,000 miles.\u201d Prabhupada never conveyed blank to us, but his gaze did convince us that he was experiencing something we could not. Prabhupada would glance at a painting or Indian print in his room and say, \u201cHere is Krishna.\u201d Yet when we looked at that picture of Lord Krishna, so many relative thoughts and impressions registered in our hearts and minds. We knew that Prabhupada saw Him differently. We saw the difference when we looked into his eyes.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In Raghunatha dasa Gosvami\u2019s Sri Stavavali<\/i>, one of the poems ends with the refrain, \u201cWhen will Saci\u2019s son again walk on the pathway of my eyes?\u201d We pray to know when we may be able to see Prabhupada \u2013 and when he will again bestow his glance upon us.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Preserving Uniqueness: NYC\u2019s Prabhupada Museum<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s appearance is important for all people in the world. Therefore, his museum is important. New York City is the right place for it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I was in Assisi, I saw many tour groups. We overheard one of the monks describing the paintings of Giotto depicting the life of Saint Francis: \u201cThis picture showed that in the 13th<\/sup> century, the Church was somewhat corrupt, but Francis came to give it new life \u2026 \u201cSimilarly, ISKCON devotees can guide visitors throughout Prabhupada\u2019s museum. Although we do not have art masterpieces like those by Giotto, the humble Prabhupada artefacts evoke the appearance of the pure devotee. It is one of the functions of a Prabhupadanuga to explain the history of Prabhupada and his movement.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Everything is there, right down to the handprints on the page, preserved under museum glass. Although you cannot see the pure devotee unless you have a spiritual eye, you get the general idea when you visit the museum. No one can walk out of there and say, \u201cI don\u2019t think Prabhupada existed,\u201d or, \u201cPrabhupada probably came here as a rich man with patronage.\u201d No one can make up such speculations, because the history of his poverty and aloneness is here.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There is a museum for Elvis Presley which has his motorcycle in a glass case, but preserving the artefacts of an ordinary man does not make him glorious. People cry when they remember Elvis, but how does that help them achieve the purpose of a human life? In the Prabhupada museum, the same techniques are used, but with a different effect.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Take for example, this picture of Krishna and Yasoda, painted in 1966 under Prabhupada\u2019s direction. It is crude, and yet I can worship Krishna by looking at the picture. Here is a picture of Lord Caitanya dancing in sankirtana<\/i>. It is the painting that Prabhupada put in the window of his first temple. He mentioned it in his lectures. It produces a kind of trance.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

You look at the documents \u2013 memos signed by Prabhupada, photos from that time. His spoon, eyeglasses and dictaphone are placed in a case with an official label under it. Prabhupada wore these clothes. That canvas sign with the Hare Krishna mantra written on it was done under Prabhupada\u2019s direction. We brought it onto the streets when we performed harinama<\/i>. Here in Prabhupada\u2019s handwriting is the list of rules and regulations for initiated devotees.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Here is Prabhupada using his dictaphone. Here is Prabhupada patting a devotee on the head. The museum tells us the story of Prabhupada\u2019s kindness in coming here. (Vaisnavas say the only reason that one should ever leave Vrindavana is to preach. Prabhupada preached. All his activities were a sacrifice for preaching, and that is what is pictured in the museum.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 8, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dynamic Preacher on the Streets of New York<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, from the very beginning I went to New York City because I thought that Krishna consciousness is the most important idea in the world, so let me go to that place, New York, which is the most important city in the world, and if I am able to do anything for Krishna and my spiritual master, even I am at the fag-end of my life, at least let me try for it there.\u201d (Letter, December 23, 1972)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

New York City was the only city in America where Prabhupada walked the streets alone. It is hard for us to conceive of now. We see pictures of Prabhupada sitting on a large vyasasana<\/i> and speaking to hundreds of devotees, but in Manhattan in 1965-66, no one was his follower. He walked the streets and thought, \u201cHow can I spread Krishna consciousness here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In a 1965 lecture, Prabhupada gave an analogy to explain that Krishna is not alone. He said, \u201cAll day I am in this room alone, but when you come in the evening, I become more enlivened.\u201d He was like a hermit in the city. He typed Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> and chanted alone, even when the lights went out.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen I was alone in your New York, I was thinking, who will listen to me in this horrible, sinful place? All right, I shall stay a little longer, at least I can distribute a few of my books, that is something. But Krishna was all along preparing something I could not see, and He brought you to me one by one, sincere American boys and girls, to be trained-up for doing the work of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Now I can see that it is a miracle. Otherwise, your city of New York, one single old man, with only a few books to sell for barely getting eatables, how he can survive, what to speak of introducing God consciousness movement for saving humankind? That is Krishna\u2019s miracle. Now I can see it.\u201d (Letter, December 23, 1972)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada had no romantic notions about Manhattan. He commiserated with the human suffering that he saw here. He spoke about the heavy snowfall, and compared the dirt on the streets to the dirt in the heart. He saw the city as big maya<\/i>, and he wanted to give us shelter.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Prabhupada revisited Manhattan in 1976, he reminisced about the old days. He said, \u201cWhen I came here no one cared for me, but now I have so many sons; it is Krishna\u2019s mercy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He also wrote in one letter:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cNew York is very special to me because I started there without anything except faith in my spiritual master and Lord Krishna. I am very glad to see that things are developing there nicely.\u201d (Letter, October 17, 1975)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you are not ashamed\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Before I became a devotee of Prabhupada, my friends and I often expressed our determination not to \u201csell out.\u201d Selling out meant giving up our free spirit and surrendering to the demands of American society. When I moved to the Lower East Side the expression was, \u201cDon\u2019t cop-out.\u201d Don\u2019t give up the hip life and become an ordinary American shmo.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s disciples didn\u2019t think of themselves as cop-outs, but one day a visitor to the storefront told Gargamuni dasa, \u201cI think Hare Krishna is a cop-out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Gargamuni defended our position. \u201cYou call this a cop-out?\u201d We\u2019re not afraid to shave our heads and wear a dhoti<\/i> and walk around the city like this, but here you are with your black denims and your shirt looking like everybody else. You think you\u2019re so cool, but you\u2019re just another anonymous person on the street.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

What our visitor meant was that we had given up the \u201cresponsibilities\u201d of hippie life \u2013 no more marijuana or LSD \u2013 and we lived in our temple in a different reality with aspirations to return to the spiritual world. It sounded to him like a cop-out. We had our comeback remarks, but if some of the hippies didn\u2019t accept us, then that was a price we had to pay.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One time, when I was sitting inside the storefront, I overheard two guys who stopped to read Swamiji\u2019s sign in the window. One of them read aloud: \u201cClasses in Bhagavad-gita<\/i> \u2013 Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Chant this transcendental sound vibration, Hare Krishna mantra. Learn the science of Krishna from a bona fide spiritual master.\u201d Then he said to his friend, \u201cWhat kind of word is that to use for a guru \u2013 bona fide<\/i>? It sounds like a legal term.\u201d They laughed at the use of the word \u201cbona fide.\u201d I knew what they meant because I also used to laugh cynically at anything that was a little strange. Their attitude was typical of middle-class Americans who had become hip and were ready to take apart anything that didn\u2019t seem to be hip. By laughing at Prabhupada\u2019s use of \u201cbona fide,\u201d they were mocking our whole scene. In hippie life, the worst mistake was to do anything \u201csquare.\u201d So by detecting this one phrase that didn\u2019t seem to fit in with hip consciousness \u2013 \u201cbona fide spiritual master\u201d \u2013 they laughed and walked on, dismissing the seriousness of our movement.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

From inside the storefront I thought, \u201cYou don\u2019t understand. Just because the Swami uses a few words differently than you doesn\u2019t mean you have a reason to reject him.\u201d As Prabhupada writes in the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, he is more interested in the techniques of bhakti<\/i> than in the language. By \u201cbona fide\u201d he meant that a spiritual master cannot be concocted, cannot be an upstart. He has to be genuine. There is nothing wrong with the meaning of the words \u201cbona fide\u201d to define a spiritual master, but with the hippie movement, style was worth more than content.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Only among the devotees could we fully express our feelings. \u201cJust think \u2013 we have been taking one life after another for millions and millions of years. We\u2019ve been up and we\u2019ve been down, and now we\u2019re at the highest point we\u2019ve ever been in millions of births. We\u2019re associating with the pure devotee and making progress for going back to Godhead. Let\u2019s not blow it!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had a habit of using initials to express meanings in code form. One of his favorites was S.R. S.R. meant \u201csimply rascal.\u201d He said that we could make a button with the letters S.R. on it and give it out to people who were rascals. He said that even the President of India was \u201can S.R. man.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji was aware that we were going through a conversion from \u201chippy to happy.\u201d He said, \u201cYou can wear your chanting beads around your neck when you go outside the temple \u2013 if you are not ashamed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does that mean, Swamiji? S.M.?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cNot S.M.,\u201d said Swamiji, \u201cI said ashamed. If you are not ashamed.\u201d Prabhupada meant, \u201cIf you are not ashamed of being a devotee.\u201d<\/p>\n

July 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

More On Lunch With Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One boy, Stanley, was quite young, and Prabhupada, almost like a doting father, watched over him as he ate. Stanley\u2019s mother had personally met Prabhupada and said that only if he took personal care of her son would she allow him to live in the monastery. Prabhupada complied. He diligently encouraged the boy until Stanley gradually took on a voracious appetite and began consuming ten capatis <\/i>at a sitting (and would have taken more had Swamiji not told him to stop). But aside from Swamiji\u2019s limiting Stanley to ten capatis<\/i>, the word was always, \u201cMore . . . take more.\u201d When Prabhupada was finished, he would rise and leave the room, Keith would catch a couple of volunteers to help him clean, and the others would leave.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Occasionally, on a Sunday, Prabhupada himself would cook a feast with special Indian dishes.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve: Swamiji personally cooked the prasadam and then served it upstairs in his front room. We all sat in rows, and I remember him walking up and down in between the rows of boys, passing before us with his bare feet and serving us with a spoon from different pots. He would ask what did we want \u2013 did we want more of this? And he would serve us with pleasure. These dishes were not ordinary, but sweets and savories \u2013 like sweet rice and kachoris \u2013 with special tastes. Even after we had all taken a full plate, he would come back and ask us to take more.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Once he came up to me and asked what I would like more of \u2013 would I like some more sweet rice? In my early misconception of spiritual life, I thought I should deny myself what I liked best, so I asked for some more plain rice. But even that \u201cplain\u201d rice was fancy yellow rice with fried cheese balls.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Puts on Tilak<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After his bath he would come into the front room, where his assembled followers would sit around him. He would sit on a mat facing his picture of the Panca-tattva, and after putting a few drops of water in his left palm from a small metal spoon and bowl, he would rub a lump of Vrindavana clay in the water, making a wet paste. He would then apply the clay markings of Vaisnava tilaka<\/i>, dipping into the yellowish paste in his left hand with the ring finger of his right. He would scrape wet clay from his palm, and while looking into a small mirror which he held deftly between the thumb and pinkie of his left hand, he would mark a vertical clay strip up his forehead and then trim the clay into two parallel lines by placing the little finger of his right hand between his eyebrows and running it upward past the hairline, clearing a path in the still-moist clay. Then he marked eleven other places on his body, while the boys sat observing, sometimes asking questions or sometimes speaking their own understandings of Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: My Guru Maharaja used to put on <\/i>tilaka without a mirror.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Devotee: Did it come out neat?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: Neat or not neat, that does not matter. Yes, it was also neat. <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada would then silently recite the Gayatri mantra. Holding his brahmin\u2019s <\/i>sacred thread and looping it around his right thumb, he would sit erect, silently moving his lips. His bare shoulders and arms were quite thin as was his chest, but he had a round slightly protruding belly. His complexion was as satiny smooth as a young boy\u2019s, except for his face, which bore signs of age. The movements of his hands were methodical, aristocratic, yet delicate.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBells\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He picked up two brass bells in his left hand and began ringing them. Then, lighting two sticks of incense from the candle near the picture of Lord Caitanya and His associates, he began waving the incense slowly in small circles before Lord Caitanya, while still ringing the bells. He looked deeply at the picture and continued cutting spirals of fragrant smoke, all the while ringing the bells. None of the boys knew what he was doing, although he did it every evening. But it was a ceremony. It meant something. The boys began to call the ceremony \u201cbells.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After bells, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, it would usually be time for the evening kirtana<\/i>. Some of the boys would already be downstairs greeting guests and explaining about the Swami and the chanting. But without the Swami, nothing could begin. No one knew how to sing or drum, and no one dared think of leading the mantra-chanting without him. Only when he entered at seven o\u2019clock could they begin.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Freshly showered and dressed in his clean hand-woven cloth, his arms and body decorated with arrowlike Vaisnava markings, Prabhupada would leave his apartment and go downstairs to face another ecstatic opportunity to glorify Krishna. The tiny temple would be crowded with wild, unbrahminical<\/i>, candid young Americans.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Don Drifting Away<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Don was a test of Swamiji\u2019s tolerance. He had lived in the storefront for months, working little and not trying to change his habits. He had a remarkable speech affectation: instead of talking, he enunciated<\/i> his words, as if he were reciting from a book. And he never used contractions. It wasn\u2019t that he was intellectual, just that he had somehow developed a plan to abolish his natural dialect. Don\u2019s speech struck people as bizarre, like it might be the result of too many drugs. It gave him the air of not being an ordinary being. And he continually took marijuana, even after Swamiji had asked those who lived with him not to. Sometimes during the day his girlfriend would join him in the storefront, and they would sit together talking intimately and sometimes kissing. But he liked the Swami. He even gave him money once. He liked living in the storefront, and Swamiji didn\u2019t complain. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But others did. One day an interested newcomer dropped by the storefront and found Don alone, surrounded by the sharp aroma of marijuana. \u201cYou been smoking pot? But the Swami doesn\u2019t want anyone smoking here.\u201d Don denied it: \u201cI have not been smoking. You are not speaking the truth.\u201d The boy then reached in Don\u2019s shirt pocket and pulled out a joint, and Don hit him in the face. Several of the boys found out. They weren\u2019t sure what was right: What would the Swami do? What do you do if someone smokes pot? Even though a devotee was not supposed to, could it be allowed sometimes? They put the matter before Swamiji.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada took it very seriously, and he was upset, especially about the violence. \u201cHe hit you?\u201d he asked the boy. \u201cI will go down myself and kick him in the head.\u201d But then Prabhupada thought about it and said that Don should be asked to leave. But Don had already left.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The next morning during Swamiji\u2019s class, Don appeared at the front door. From his dais, Swamiji looked out at Don with great concern. But his first concern was for ISKCON: \u201cAsk him,\u201d Prabhupada requested Roy, who sat nearby. \u201cIf he has marijuana \u2013 then he cannot come in. Our society \u2026\u201d Prabhupada was like an anxious father, afraid for the life of his infant ISKCON. Roy went to the door and told Don he would have to give up his drugs if he entered. And Don walked away.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 14, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Raphael<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Raphael was not interested in spiritual discipline. He was a tall young man with long, straight, brown hair, who, like Don, tried to stay aloof and casual toward Swamiji. When Prabhupada introduced japa<\/i> and encouraged the boys to chant during the day, Raphael didn\u2019t go for it. He said he liked a good kirtana<\/i>, but wouldn\u2019t chant on beads.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One time Swamiji was locked out of his apartment and the boys had to break the lock. Swamiji asked Raphael to replace it. Days went by. Raphael could sit in the storefront reading Rimbaud, he could wander around town, but he couldn\u2019t find time to fix the lock. One evening he dropped by the Swami\u2019s apartment, opened the lockless door, and made his way to the back room where some boys were sitting listening to Swamiji speak informally about Krishna consciousness. Suddenly Raphael spoke up, expressing his doubts and revealing his distracted mind. \u201cAs for me,\u201d he said, \u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s happening. I don\u2019t know whether a brass band is playing, or what the heck is going on.\u201d Some of the devotees tensed; he had interrupted their devotional mood. \u201cRaphael is very candid,\u201d Swamiji replied, smiling, as if to explain his son\u2019s behaviour to the others.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Raphael finally fixed the lock, but one day after a lecture he approached the Swami, stood beside the dais and spoke up, exasperated, impatient: \u201cI am not meant to sit in a temple and chant on beads! My father was a boxer. I am meant to run on the beach and breathe in big breaths of air \u2026\u201d Raphael went on, gesticulating and voicing his familiar complaints \u2013 things he would rather do than take up Krishna consciousness. Suddenly Prabhupada interrupted him in a loud voice: \u201cThen do it! Do it!\u201d Raphael shrank away, but he stayed.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bill Epstein<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bill Epstein took pride in his relationship with the Swami \u2013 it was honest. Although he helped the Swami by telling people about him and sending them up to see him in his apartment, he felt the Swami knew he\u2019d never become a serious follower. Nor did Bill ever mislead himself into thinking he would ever be serious. But Prabhupada wasn\u2019t content with Bill\u2019s take-it-or-leave-it attitude. When Bill would finally show up at the storefront again after spending some days at a friend\u2019s place, only to fall asleep with a blanket wrapped over his head during the lecture, Prabhupada would just start shouting so loud that Bill couldn\u2019t sleep. Sometimes Bill would ask a challenging question, and Prabhupada would answer and then say, \u201cAre you satisfied?\u201d and Bill would look up dreamily and answer, \u201cNo!\u201d Then Prabhupada would answer it again more fully and say louder, \u201cAre you satisfied?\u201d and again Bill would say no. This would go on until Bill would have to give in: \u201cYes, yes, I am satisfied.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But Bill was the first person to get up and dance during a kirtana<\/i> in the storefront. Some of the other boys thought he looked like he was dancing in an egotistical, narcissistic way, even though his arms were outstretched in a facsimile of the picture of Lord Caitanya. But when Swamiji saw Bill dancing like that, he looked at Bill with wide-open eyes and feelingly expressed appreciation: \u201cBill is dancing just like Lord Caitanya.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bill sometimes returned from his wanderings with money, and although it was not very much, he would give it to Swamiji. He liked to sleep in the storefront and spend the day on the street, returning for lunch or kirtanas,<\/i> or a place to sleep. He used to leave in the morning and go looking for cigarettes on the ground. To Bill, the Swami was part of the hip movement and thus earned a place of respect in his eyes as a genuine person. Bill objected when the boys introduced signs of reverential worship toward the Swami (starting with them giving him an elevated seat in the temple), and as the boys who lived with the Swami gradually began to show enthusiasm, competition, and even rivalry among themselves, Bill turned from it in disgust. He allowed that he would go on just helping the Swami in his own way, and he knew that the Swami appreciated whatever he did. So he wanted to leave it at that.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Three Persons Who Drifted Away<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carl Yeargens had helped Prabhupada in times of need. He had helped with the legal work of incorporating ISKCON, signed the ISKCON charter as a trustee, and even opened his home to Swamiji when David had driven him from the Bowery loft. But those days when he and Eva had shared their apartment with him had created a tension that had never left. He liked the Swami, he respected him as a genuine sannyasi<\/i> from India, but he didn\u2019t accept the conclusions of the philosophy. The talk about Krishna and the soul was fine, but the idea of giving up drugs and sex was carrying it a little too far. Now Prabhupada was settled in his new place and Carl decided that he had done his part to help and was no longer needed. Although he had helped Prabhupada incorporate his International Society for Krishna Consciousness, he didn\u2019t want to join it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carl found the Second Avenue kirtanas<\/i> too public, not like the more intimate atmosphere he had enjoyed with the Swami on the Bowery. Now the audiences were larger, and there was an element of wild letting loose that they had never had on the Bowery. Like some of the other old associates, Carl felt sheepish and reluctant to join in. In comparison to the Second Avenue street scene, the old meetings in the fourth-floor Bowery loft had seemed more mystical, like secluded meditations.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Carol Bekar also preferred a more sedate kirtana<\/i>. She thought people were trying to take out their personal frustrations by the wild singing and dancing. The few times she did attend evening kirtanas<\/i> on Second Avenue were \u201ctense moments.\u201d One time a group of teenagers had come into the storefront mocking and shouting, \u201cHey! What the hell is this!\u201d She kept thinking that at any moment a rock was going to come crashing through the big window. And anyway, her boyfriend wasn\u2019t interested.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

James Greene felt embarrassed. He saw that most of the new men were making a serious commitment to the Swami, whereas he could not. He had no bad feeling toward the Swami and his new movement, but he preferred to live alone.<\/p>\n

July 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Historical Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Christian theologians use the term \u201cthe historical Christ,\u201d they mean that person whose life story is told in the gospel. This is only one level of thinking about Christ for them. They also think of him as the Messiah, the Son of God, the Lord, and so on. Some speculate about Christ in an impersonal way. Thus they speak of \u201cthe Logos\u201d and \u201cthe Christ within everyone.\u201d Sometimes when you hear this talk, you say, \u201cWait a minute. What about the person<\/i>?\u201d The scholars reply, \u201cWe\u2019re not so interested in the historical person.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The first time I heard one of Prabhupada\u2019s followers say this I was shocked.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t want to become a cult of Prabhupada worshipers,\u201d he said. \u201cPrabhupada is a link in the parampara<\/i>. The important thing is the message coming down. Prabhupada never said that he <\/i>was important.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Prabhupada is the person who saved me,\u201d I said. The message did not come to save me by itself; the person saved me. I want to worship and think of that person.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If we minimize the historical Prabhupada, then we open the possibility that one of us can take his place. \u201cNow I am the next person in the link. I am important now.\u201d Therefore, when remembering the teachings of Krishna consciousness, it is important to do it in a personal way. When I think of Prahlada Maharaja and his relationship with Krishna, I think, \u201cPrabhupada is sweet to write it in these words.\u201d If I don\u2019t think of Prabhupada in a personal way, then I am missing out.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dressing for Prabhupada\u2019s Pleasure<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada never forced his followers to shave their heads or wear dhotis<\/i> in public. Yet he liked it. So we please Prabhupada when we appear as Vaisnavas and remind people of Krishna. The reason we wear these clothes and shave our heads is because we are his followers. I cannot attain the advanced stage of Krishna consciousness, I cannot surrender completely, but there are some things I can do right away. When I do them for Prabhupada, they count in my favor.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

With this in mind, I need not be embarrassed when people see that I am a devotee. When I feel embarrassed, I can pray: \u201cPrabhupada, please give me the strength to walk in the world identified as your man. And let me not make fun or be ashamed of the other devotees who are representing you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I want Krishna and Prabhupada to recognize me. Therefore, I will wear the kanthi-mala<\/i> and Vaisnava tilak<\/i> even if it astonishes a bank clerk or the man at the airlines desk. Let me not give it up so easily. Let it be a little sacrifice I make on your behalf, a way to remember you. Let them think, \u201cLook! There\u2019s a Hare Krishna!\u201d Let me think, \u201cI am serving Prabhupada in this way.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Accompanying Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we walked with Prabhupada, we were proud to be with him. We stayed close beside him on the street, trying to protect him. We did not care what people thought. We wanted to appear presentable as his servants, yet we had no concern for other\u2019s opinions. The person we wanted to please was right there with us. He gave us courage to assist him. To walk beside him and represent him was prestigious. They could see the elderly, saintly Indian guru with his assistant alongside. Now we have to assist him without being physically with him, but we can meditate, \u201cHe is here and I am walking beside him. Let the people see it and think what they like.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As the servant Daruka said in Vaikuntha, \u201cWhen I fan the Lord, if I feel too much ecstasy, it becomes an interference. I simply want to fan Him nicely.\u201d Let us continue in that way, walking beside Prabhupada, while following his vani<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Firm Reins on Fledging Bhakta<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Most of us were contaminated with drugs and illicit sex. Prabhupada restrained us. He controlled the activities in his apartment and storefront, and we soon got into line. There were unspoken boundaries. No one ever smoked in his apartment. He sat on one side of the silver trunk and we sat on the other. Sometimes we stood close beside him in the kitchenette or other places, but we did not get too familiar. We maintained politeness and formality out of respect. Even those who were not his disciples respected him as an elderly sadhu<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If anyone talked jive to the Swami, they didn\u2019t get far with it. He remained who he was. He did not want to waste time, but spoke in a meaningful way about God. He insisted on that. He did not mind a challenging question, as long as it was put in a coherent way and he could direct the conversation toward God consciousness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When things got out of hand, Prabhupada turned to Raymond or Howard and said, \u201cHis is a general question. Can you answer it?\u201d But that did not happen often.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada did not ask people much about their family background or education or hobbies. He wanted to speak to them about the Absolute Truth. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cI am living with my mother. She has arthritis. I don\u2019t have enough money, so I am working two jobs.\u201d Prabhupada would hear it with concern, but then turn the situation to ultimate matters. He was not living in the world for talking about relative situations. As a sannyasi<\/i>, he had left all that behind. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was often Prabhupada who was the challenger. Those who wished to stay with him had to come up to his level. Often someone mentioned a Western thinker whom Prabhupada had not heard of. It was a simple thing to adjust. He asked, \u201cWhat is their philosophy?\u201d \u2013 and then put it into the context of Mayavada, pantheist, or mental speculation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Those who became his disciples required more intimate treatment. We wanted him to at least hear what was on our minds \u2026 Albert Camus, Jean Paul Sartre. The important thing was to talk about Krishna, but first you had to be released from your attachments.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I asked Prabhupada, \u201cWhat about the spiritual culture of China? Is it advanced?\u201d He simply shook his head, no. I was willing to accept that. Even to this day, I am attracted to recluses and poets of ancient China. Prabhupada did not say they were all useless, but he told me in no uncertain terms that they were not important. In the absolute sense, for going back to Godhead, it is not important. That exchange about China took place in only a moment. If we were academic scholars, I would have insisted on developing a comparison of Confucianism and Taoism and how they came from India. I would demand that he explain why<\/i> it is inferior to Krishna consciousness. Perhaps I would debate with him and say that the Indian mentality is different but not necessarily better than the Chinese mentality. However, all these considerations were dispensed with in a meaningful way, just by a shake of the head. They were also dealt with in informal talks while taking prasadam<\/i> or sitting together. We heard from him submissively and accepted the Vedas<\/i> from his lips.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When the Bombs Go Off<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes when I was in Swamiji’s presence at the storefront, an obscene word would come to mind. It would bubble up from my days in the Navy, where there was so much obscene talk. It would explode like a bomb into the pure relationship of guru and sisya<\/i>. I don\u2019t know if Swamiji always saw it exactly when it happened, but he saw my general rotten nature. Sometimes when I didn\u2019t have anything bad on my mind, he looked at me and saw that too. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At times like that, what did I do? I kept going, bowed my head and reeled with the blow. I readjusted and told myself, \u201cI am not in the Navy anymore; I don\u2019t have to respond to this.\u201d The reality with the Swami was more substantial than the past. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Obscene images were like those bombs and abominable things that poured down on Dhruva Maharaja when he was fighting the Yaksas. Blood, pus, and bones poured from the sky and oceans, and lions and snakes closed in around him. They were all illusions, though. My obscene thoughts were like that. I didn\u2019t have to succumb.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My father used to say of himself, \u201cMy mind is in the gutter.\u201d That was a favorite expression of his. So I was brought up to think that everyone\u2019s mind was in the gutter. When I met the pure devotee, he was a challenge to my entire upbringing. My mind wanted to revolt against him: \u201cThis guy is just another bozo like everyone else. After all, this is a world of \u2018f _ _ _ you\u2019 and he is a part of it.\u201d So the bombs went off within me, but because the relationship with Prabhupada was true and substantial, and because I was in the safety of his room, it all passed. Eventually, it didn\u2019t occur anymore, like the many other insanities and bad habits that go away as you take to Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t have to say, \u201cSwamiji, sometimes when I am with you I think bad things.\u201d He addressed it anyway, \u201cThese are the workings of the mind. Just chant and it will go away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Altered states of consciousness from old LSD trips also came up. We had to face some of it in the kirtanas<\/i> \u2013 fears, hallucinations, uncharitable feelings, hatred, envy, disbelief \u2026 We were not able to link one pure mantra to another pure mantra and approach Krishna in the spiritual world. Ours was bliss punctuated with negative space in the struggle to reach pure spiritual sound. Prabhupada gave us his assurance, \u201cYou can do it. You can overcome all this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Poem for Swamiji by Satsvarupa dasa Brahmacari<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Thank you for the work ahead,<\/p>\n

thank you, Prabhupada,<\/p>\n

for giving us your books<\/p>\n

in which Lord Visnu<\/p>\n

instructs through you:<\/p>\n

\u201cTreat people equally,<\/p>\n

don\u2019t be disturbed by distress or happiness,<\/p>\n

control your mind and senses,<\/p>\n

execute your duty in whatever<\/p>\n

condition of life you may be put,<\/p>\n

by My arrangement, give protection.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Thank you for the orders<\/p>\n

and the kind looks,<\/p>\n

allowing us to sit with you<\/p>\n

to share lunch.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji, I don\u2019t <\/p>\n

confuse you with God,<\/p>\n

but you are as good as God.<\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t create the cosmos<\/p>\n

by your expanded plenary parts,<\/p>\n

but you teach us <\/p>\n

the Vaisnava is<\/p>\n

more merciful than the Lord.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let the fear of falldown guide me,<\/p>\n

the fear of rejection by you.<\/p>\n

Let me follow until death<\/p>\n

accomplishing at least<\/p>\n

the minimum requirements.<\/p>\n

I pray for your grace,<\/p>\n

lest my toehold slip.<\/p>\n

Please remind me what to do.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And today I took a look<\/p>\n

at a color photo:<\/p>\n

Swamiji is wearing a yellow sweater,<\/p>\n

he is looking to the right,<\/p>\n

holding karatalas<\/i>. I steady<\/p>\n

and watch him as I once did.<\/p>\n

He wears a rose garland.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

These standard resources \u2013<\/p>\n

photos, purports, instructions,<\/p>\n

are well-springs of mercy,<\/p>\n

if I simply go to them<\/p>\n

without despair or cynicism.<\/p>\n

It happens \u2013<\/p>\n

we forget who we are,<\/p>\n

and who is Bhagavan.<\/p>\n

But the spiritual master is here,<\/p>\n

kind as always,<\/p>\n

and I am serving him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Coaching Us in Krishna Consciousness<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami had authority. It was not like the authority of an organization, the Catholic church or some rich Hindu mission. He was something better, a saintly person in the timeless tradition of Vaisnava parampara<\/i>. His authority went back millions of years and was represented in the Vedic scriptures. Through him we could feel the timeless and authoritative instructions of the sastras<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On his authority, we chanted in the temple in such a free way. He saw us shake our heads, close our eyes and grimace, as we threw off demons and had fun. Swamiji was permissive, but not irresponsible. He heard about LSD and said, \u201cNo more of that. But when you chant Hare Krishna, then<\/i> you will feel bliss and dance in ecstasy. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Swami was like our spiritual coach, and we were his team. The coach accepts his boys as they are, but he trains them. They come to him as juvenile delinquents, but they work out on the basketball court and they become something better. Similarly, Swamiji let us work out our unruly feelings without inhibition as he brought us together in the mahamantra<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After the game is over, the boys are shiny with sweat, drinking Cokes in the locker room, joking adolescents. The coach allows it, but he is in control. We too were sweating and excited after the kirtana<\/i> performance. We were wild, and Prabhupada allowed it. He let Gargamuni say, \u201cSwamiji, I was in so much ecstasy I thought I would cry!\u201d He watched as Umapati cracked a joke to Hayagriva, but then spoke things that quieted us. We listened to him and relaxed.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We never expected Swamiji to act like a hippie-guru. He never spoke our jargon, and yet he was hip in his own way. He was totally present with us, and we gave ourselves to him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The coach-and-team analogy gets left far behind when we study the heart of our relationship with Prabhupada. He was taking us to the eternal spiritual world, telling us the pastimes of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Swamiji revealed the Vedas<\/i> to us, and told us how to center our lives around them. All we had to do was listen submissively. He was cleaning our hearts in a way that was not perceivable to us, and yet he was perceivable, healthy and strong, our vibrant spiritual master.<\/p>\n

July 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/a>\n<\/p>\n

Chuck and Bruce<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Chuck: I finally found Second Avenue and First Street, and I saw through the window that there was some chanting going on inside and some people were sitting up against the wall. Beside me on the sidewalk some middle-class people were looking in and giggling. I turned to them, and with my palms folded I asked, \u201cIs this where a swami is?\u201d They giggled and said, \u201cPilgrim, you search has ended.\u201d I wasn\u2019t surprised by this answer, because I felt it was the truth.<\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce and Chuck, unknown to one another, lived only two blocks apart. After the suggestion from his friend, Bruce also made his way to the storefront.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce: I was looking for Hare Krishna. I had left my apartment and had walked over to Avenue B when I decided to walk all the way down to Houston Street. When I came to First Street, I turned right and then, walking along First Street, came to Second Avenue. All along First Street I was seeing these Puerto Rican grocery stores, and then there was one of those churches where everyone was standing up, singing loudly, and playing tambourines. Then, as I walked further along First Street, I had the feeling that I was leaving the world, like when you\u2019re going to the airport to catch a plane. I thought, \u201cNow I\u2019m leaving a part of me behind, and I\u2019m going to something new.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But when I got over to Second Avenue, I couldn\u2019t find Hare Krishna. There was a gas station, and then I walked past a little storefront, but the only sign was one that said Matchless Gifts. Then I walked back again past the store, and in the window I saw a black-and-white sign announcing a <\/i>Bhagavad-gita lecture. I entered the storefront and saw a pile of shoes there, so I took off my shoes and came in and sat down near the back.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve and Bruce<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve: I had a feeling that this was a group that was already established and had been meeting for a while. I came in and sat down on the floor, and a boy who said his name was Roy was very courteous and friendly to me. He seemed to be one who had already experienced the meetings. He asked me my name, and I felt at ease.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Suddenly the Swami entered, coming through the side door. He was wearing a saffron dhoti but no shirt, just a piece of cloth like a long sash, tied in a knot across his right shoulder and leaving his arms, his left shoulder, and part of his chest bare. When I saw him I thought of the Buddha.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce: There were about fifteen people sitting on the floor. One man with a big beard sat up by the front on the right-hand side, leaning up against the wall. After some time the door on the opposite side opened, and in walked the Swami. When he came in, he turned his head to see who was in his audience. And then he stared right at me. Our eyes met. It was as if he were studying me. In my mind it was like a photograph was being taken of Swamiji looking at me for the first time. There was a pause. Then he very gracefully got up on the dais and sat down and took out a pair of hand cymbals and began a <\/i>kirtana. The <\/i>kirtana was the thing that most affected me. It was the best music I\u2019d ever heard. And it had meaning. You could actually concentrate on it, and it gave you some joy to repeat the words \u201cHare Krishna.\u201d I immediately accepted it as a spiritual practice.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 26, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Chuck\u2019s First Impressions of Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Chuck: I entered the storefront, and sitting on a grass mat on the hard floor was a person who seemed at first to be neither male nor female, but when he looked at me I couldn\u2019t even look him straight in the eyes, they were so brilliant and glistening. His skin was golden with rosy cheeks, and he had large ears that framed his face. He had three strands of beads \u2013 one which was at his neck, one a little longer, and the other down on his chest. He had a long forehead, which rose above his shining eyes, and there were many furrows in his brow. His arms were slender and long. His mouth was rich and full, and very dark and red and smiling, and his teeth were brighter than his eyes. He sat in a cross-legged position that I had never seen before in any yoga book and had never seen any yogi perform. It was a sitting posture, but his right foot was crossed over the thigh and brought back beside his left hip, and one knee rested on the other directly in front of him. His every expression and gesture was different from those of any other personality I had ever seen, and I sensed that they had meanings that I did not know, from a culture and a mood that were completely beyond this world. There was a mole on his side and a peculiar callus on his ankle, a round callus similar to what a karate expert develops on his knuckle. He was dressed in unhemmed cloth, dyed saffron. Everything about him was exotic, and his whole effulgence made him seem to be not even sitting in the room but projected from some other place. He was so brilliant in color that it was like a technicolor movie, and yet he was right there. I heard him speaking. He was sitting right there before me, yet it seemed that if I reached out to touch him he wouldn\u2019t be there. At the same time, seeing him was not an abstract or subtle experience but a more intense presence.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve Buys the Books<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After their first visit to the storefront, Chuck, Steve, and Bruce each got an opportunity to see the Swami upstairs in his apartment.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve: I was on my lunch hour and had to be back in the office very soon. I was dressed in a summer business suit. I had planned it so that I had just enough time to go to the storefront and buy some books, then go to lunch and return to work. At the storefront, one of the Swami\u2019s followers said that I could go up and see the Swami. I went upstairs to his apartment and found him at his sitting place with a few boys. I must have interrupted what he was saying, but I asked him if I could purchase the three volumes of the <\/i>Srimad-Bhagavatam. One of the devotees produced the books from the closet opposite Prabhupada\u2019s seat. I handled the books \u2013 they were a very special color not usually seen in America, a reddish natural earth, like a brick \u2013 and I asked him how much they cost. Six dollars each, he said. I took twenty dollars out of my wallet and gave it to him. He seemed the only one to ask about the price of the books or give the money to, because none of the others came forward to represent him. They were just sitting back and listening to him speak.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThese books are commentaries on the scriptures?\u201d I asked, trying to show that I knew something about books. Swamiji said yes, they were his commentaries. Sitting, smiling, at ease, Swamiji was very attractive. He seemed very strong and healthy. When he smiled, all his teeth were beautiful, and his nostrils flared aristocratically. His face was full and powerful. He was wearing an Indian cloth robe, and as he sat cross-legged, his smooth-skinned legs were partly exposed. He wore no shirt,<\/i><\/p>\n

but the upper part of his body was wrapped with an Indian cloth shawl. His limbs were quite slender, but he had a protruding belly.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I saw that Swamiji was having to personally handle the sale of books, I did not want to bother him. I quickly asked him to please keep the change from my twenty dollars. I took the three volumes without any bag or wrapping and was standing preparing to leave, when Swamiji said, \u201cSit down,\u201d and gestured that I should sit opposite him like the others. He had said \u201cSit down\u201d in a different tone of voice. It was a heavy tone and indicated that now the sale of the books was completed, I should sit with the others and listen to him speak. He was offering me an important invitation to become like one of the others, who I knew spent many hours with him during the day when I was usually at my job and not able to come. I envied their leisure in being able to learn so much from him and sit and talk intimately with him. By ending the sales transaction and asking me to sit, he assumed that I was in need of listening to him, and that I had nothing better in the world to do than to stop everything else and hear him. But I was expected back at the office. I didn\u2019t want to argue, but I couldn\u2019t possibly stay. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I have to go,\u201d I said definitely. \u201cI\u2019m only on my lunch hour.\u201d As I said this, I had already started to move for the door, and Swamiji responded by suddenly breaking into a wide smile and looking very charming and very happy. He seemed to appreciate that I was a working man, a young man on the go. I had not come by simply because I was unemployed and had nowhere to go and nothing to do. Approving of my energetic demeanor, he allowed me to take my leave.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce Visits the Swami<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce: I decided to go and speak personally to Swamiji, so I went to the storefront. I found out that he lived in an apartment in the rear building. A boy told me the number and said I could just go and speak with the Swami. He said, \u201cYes, just go.\u201d So I walked through the storefront, and there was a little courtyard where some plants were growing. Usually in New York there is no courtyard, nothing green, but this was very attractive. And in that courtyard there was a boy typing at a picnic table, and he looked very spiritual and dedicated. I hurried upstairs and rang the bell for apartment 2C. After a little while the door opened, and it was the Swami. \u201cYes,\u201d he said. And I said, \u201cI would like to speak with you.\u201d He opened the door wider and stepped back and said, \u201cYes, come.\u201d We went inside together into his sitting room and sat down facing each other. He sat behind his metal trunk-desk on a very thin mat which was covered with a woollen blanketlike cover that had frazzled ends and elephants decorating it. He asked me my name and I told him it was Bruce. And then he remarked, \u201cAh. In India, during the British period, there was one Lord Bruce.\u201d And he said something about Lord Bruce being a general and engaging in some campaigns.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I felt that I had to talk to the Swami \u2013 to tell him my story \u2013 and I actually found him interested to listen. It was very intimate, sitting with him in his apartment, and he was actually wanting to hear about me.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

While we were talking, he looked up past me, high up on the wall behind me, and he was talking about Lord Caitanya. The way he looked up, he was obviously looking at some picture of something, but with an expression of deep love in his eyes. I turned around to see what made him look like that. Then I saw the picture in the brown frame: Lord Caitanya dancing in <\/i>kirtana.<\/p>\n

July 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Chuck Converses with Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Inevitably, meeting with Prabhupada meant a philosophical discussion.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Chuck: I asked him, \u201cCan you teach me <\/i>raja-yoga?\u201d \u201cOh,\u201d he said. \u201cHere is <\/i>Bhagavad-gita.\u201d He handed me a copy of the <\/i>Gita. \u201cTurn to the last verse of the Sixth Chapter,\u201d he said, \u201cand read.\u201d I read the translation out loud. \u201cAnd of all yogis, he who is worshiping Me with faith and devotion I consider to be the best.\u201d I could not comprehend what \u201cfaith\u201d and \u201cdevotion\u201d meant, so I said, \u201cSometimes I\u2019m getting some light in my forehead.\u201d \u201cThat is hallucination!\u201d he said. So abruptly he said it \u2013 although he did not strain his person, the words came at me so intensely that it completely shocked me. \u201c<\/i>Raja means \u2018king\u2019 \u2013 king <\/i>yoga,\u201d he said, \u201cbut this is emperor <\/i>yoga.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I knew that he had attained such a high state not by using chemicals from a laboratory or by any Western speculative process, and this was certainly what I wanted. \u201cAre you giving classes?\u201d I asked. He said, \u201cYes, if you come at six in the morning I am giving classes in the <\/i>Gita. And bring some flower or fruit for the Deity.\u201d I looked into the adjoining room, which was bare with a wooden parquet floor, bare walls, and a tiny table, and on the table was a picture of five humanlike figures with their arms raised above their heads. Somehow, their arms and faces were not like any mortal that I\u2019d ever seen. I knew that the picture was looking at me.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I came out on the street in front of the storefront there were a few people standing around, and I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019m going to take LSD any more.\u201d I said it out loud to myself, but some other people heard me.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 30, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Corrects Steve<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve: I wanted to show my appreciation for spiritual India, so I presented to Swamiji that I had read the autobiography of Gandhi. \u201cIt was glorious,\u201d I said. \u201cWhat is glorious about it?\u201d Swamiji challenged. When he asked this, there were others present in the room. Although I was a guest, he had no qualms about challenging me for having said something foolish. I searched through my remembrances of Gandhi\u2019s autobiography to answer his challenging question \u201cWhat is glorious?\u201d I began to relate that one time Gandhi, as a child, although raised as a vegetarian, was induced by some of his friends to eat meat, and that night he felt that a lamb was howling in his belly. Swamiji dismissed this at once, saying, \u201cMost of India is vegetarian. That is not glorious.\u201d I couldn\u2019t think of anything else glorious to say, and Swamiji said, \u201cHis autobiography is called <\/i>Experiments with Truth. But that is not the nature of truth. It is not to be found by someone\u2019s experimenting. Truth is always truth.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although it was a blow to my ego, being exposed and defeated by Swamiji seemed to be a gain for me. I wanted to bring before him many different things for his judgment, just to see what he had to say about them. I showed him the paperback edition of the <\/i>Bhagavad-gita that I was reading and carrying in my back pocket. He perused the back cover. There was a reference to \u201cthe eternal faith of the Hindus,\u201d and Swamiji began to take the phrase apart. He explained how the word Hindu was a misnomer and does not occur anywhere in the Sanskrit literature itself. He also explained that Hinduism and Hindu beliefs were not eternal.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

July 31, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce Talks with Swamiji About Freud<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce: After I talked about my desire for religious life, I began telling him about a conflict I had had with one of my professors in English literature. He was a Freudian, so he would explain the characters in all the novels and so on in a Freudian context and with Freudian terminology. Everything was sexual \u2013 the mother for the son, this one for that one, and so on. But I would always see it in terms of a religious essence. I would see it in terms of a religious impulse, or some desire to understand God. I would write my papers in that context, and he would always say, \u201cThe religious can also be interpreted as Freudian.\u201d So I didn\u2019t do very well in the course. I was mentioning this to the Swami, and he said, \u201cYour professor is correct.\u201d I was surprised \u2013 I am going to an Indian swami, and he is saying that the professor was correct, that everything is based on sex and not religion! This kind of pulled the rug out from under me when he said that. Then he qualified what he\u2019d said. He explained that in the material world everyone is operating on the basis of sex; everything that everyone is doing is being driven by the sex impulse. \u201cSo,\u201d he said, \u201cFreud is correct. Everything is on the basis of sex.\u201d Then he clarified what material life is and what spiritual life is. In spiritual life, there is a complete absence of sex desire. So this had a profound effect on me.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

August 1, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve Tells Swamiji What He Read in Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The boys found Swamiji not only philosophical, but personal also.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Steve: A few nights later, I went to see the Swami and told him I was reading his book. One thing that had especially caught my attention was a section where the author of <\/i>Srimad-Bhagavatam, Vyasadeva, was admitting that he was feeling despondent. Then his spiritual master, Narada, explained that his despondency had come because although he had written so many books, he had neglected to write in such a way as to fully glorify Krishna. After hearing this, Vyasadeva compiled the <\/i>Srimad-Bhagavatam.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I read this, I identified with the fact that Vyasadeva was a writer, because I considered myself a writer also, and I knew that I was also despondent. \u201cThis was very interesting about the author, Vyasadeva,\u201d I said. \u201cHe wrote so many books, but still he was not satisfied, because he had not directly praised Krishna.\u201d Although I had very little understanding of Krishna consciousness, Swamiji opened his eyes very wide, surprised that I was speaking on such an elevated subject from the <\/i>Srimad-Bhagavatam. He seemed pleased.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 2, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Two Late-Comers Arrive at Ananda Ashram<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce was a newcomer and had only been to one week of meetings at the storefront, so no one had told him that the members of Ananda Ashram, Dr. Mishra\u2019s yoga<\/i> retreat, had invited Swamiji and his followers for a day in the upstate countryside. Bruce had just arrived at the storefront one morning when he heard someone announce, \u201cThe Swami is leaving!\u201d And Prabhupada came out of the building and stepped into a car. In a fit of anxiety, Bruce thought that the Swami was leaving them for good \u2013 for India! \u201cNo,\u201d Howard told him, \u201cwe\u2019re going to a yoga<\/i> asrama<\/i> in the country.\u201d But the other car had already left, and there was no room in Swamiji\u2019s car. Just then Steve showed up. He had expected the boys to come by his apartment to pick him up. They both had missed the ride.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce phoned a friend up in the Bronx and convinced him to drive them up to Ananda Ashram. But when they got to Bruce\u2019s friend\u2019s apartment, the friend had decided he didn\u2019t want to go. Finally he lent Bruce his car, and Swamiji\u2019s two new followers set out for Ananda Ashram.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By the time they arrived, Prabhupada and his group were already taking prasadam<\/i>, sitting around a picnic table beneath the trees. Ananda Ashram was a beautiful place, with sloping hills and lots of trees and sky and green grass and a lake. The two latecomers came walking up to Swamiji, who was seated like the father of a family, at the head of the picnic table. Keith was serving from a big wok onto the individual plates. When Prabhupada saw his two stragglers, he asked them to sit next to him, and Keith served them. Prabhupada took Steve\u2019s cap\u0101t\u012b<\/i> and heaped it up with a mound of sugar, and Steve munched on the bread and sugar, while everyone laughed.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Talk at Ananda Ashram<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was late afternoon when some of Swamiji\u2019s followers gathered by the lake and began talking candidly about Swamiji and speculating about his relation to God and their relation to him. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d said Wally, \u201cSwami never claimed to be God or an incarnation, but he says that he is a servant<\/i> of God, teaching love<\/i> of God.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he says that the spiritual master is not different from God,\u201d said Howard. They stood at the edge of the mirror calm lake and concluded that it was not necessary to talk about this. The answers would be revealed later. None of them really had much spiritual knowledge, but they wanted their faith to deepen.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Afterward, Keith, Wally, and Howard wandered into the meditation room. There was a seat with a picture of Dr. Mishra, who was away in Europe. But the most remarkable thing was a blinking strobe light. \u201cI feel like I\u2019m in a head shop on St. Mark\u2019s Place,\u201d said Wally. \u201cWhat kind of spiritual meditation is this?\u201d Howard asked. A Mishra follower, wearing a white kurta<\/i> and white bell-bottoms, replied that their guru had said they could sit and meditate on this light. \u201cSwamiji says you should meditate on Krishna,\u201d said Keith.<\/p>\n

August 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Kirtana<\/i> at Ananda Ashram<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji led a kirtana<\/i> that bridged all differences and brought out the best in everyone that night. Several nights before, in his apartment on Second Avenue, Prabhupada had taught his followers how to dance. They had formed a line behind him while he demonstrated the simple step. Holding his arms above his head, he would first swing his left foot forward across the right foot, and then bring it back again in a sweeping motion. Then he would swing his right foot over the left and bring it back again. With his arms upraised, Prabhupada would walk forward, swinging his body from side to side, left foot to right side, right foot to left side, in time with the one-two-three rhythm. He had shown them the step in regular time and in a slow, half-time rhythm. Keith had called it \u201cthe Swami step,\u201d as if it were a new ballroom dance.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s followers began dancing, and soon the others joined them, moving around the room in a rhythmic circle of ecstasy, dancing, swaying, sometimes leaping and whirling. It was a joyous hour-long kirtana<\/i>, the Swami encouraging everyone to the fullest extent. A visitor to the asrama<\/i> happened to have his stringed bass with him, and he began expertly turning out his own swinging bass improvisations beneath the Swami\u2019s melody, while another man played the tablas<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Ananda Ashram members had been divided of late into two tense, standoffish groups. There was the elderly crowd, similar to the older women who had attended the Swami\u2019s uptown lectures, and there was the young crowd, mostly hip couples. But in the kirtana<\/i> their rifts were forgotten and, as they discovered later, even healed. Whether they liked it or not, almost all of those present were induced to rise and dance.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Then it was late. The Swami took rest in the guest room, and his boys slept outside in their sleeping bags.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard and Keith\u2019s Dreams<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Howard: I awaken three or four times, and each time I am flat on my back looking up at the stars, which are always in different positions. My sense of time is confused. The sidereal shifts dizzy me. Then, just before morning, I dream. I dream of devotees clustered about a beautiful golden youth. To see him is to be captivated. His transcendental body radiates an absolute beauty unseen in the world. Stunned, I inquire, \u201cWho is he?\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t you know?\u201d someone says. \u201cThat\u2019s the Swami.\u201d I look carefully, but see no resemblance. The youth appears around eighteen, straight out of Vaikuntha. \u201cIf that\u2019s Swamiji,\u201d I wonder to myself, \u201cwhy doesn\u2019t he come to earth like that?\u201d A voice somewhere inside me answers: \u201cPeople would follow me for my beauty, not for my teachings.\u201d And I awake, startled. The dream is clear in my mind \u2013 more like a vision than a dream. I feel strangely refreshed, bathed in some unknown balm. Again I see that the constellations have shifted and that the dimmer stars have faded into the encroaching dawn. I remember Swamiji telling me that although most dreams are simply functions of the mind, dreams of the spiritual master are of spiritual significance.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Keith also had a dream that night.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Keith: I saw Krishna and Arjuna on the battlefield of Kuruksetra. Arjuna was inquiring from Krishna, and Krishna was reciting the <\/i>Bhagavad-gita to him. Then that picture phased out, and the images changed. And there was Swamiji, and I was kneeling in front of him, and the same dialogue was going on. I had the understanding that now is the time, and Swamiji is presenting the same thing as Krishna, and we are all in the position of Arjuna. The dream made it very clear that hearing from Swamiji was as good as hearing from Krishna.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Car Ride Back to Second Avenue<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Later \u2026 Prabhupada sat next to Bruce in the Volkswagen returning to the City. The car went winding around on a ribbon of smooth black mountain road, with lush green forests close in and intermittent vistas of mountains and expansive sky. It was a rare occasion for Bruce to be driving Prabhupada in a car because none of the Swami\u2019s boys had cars. They would always travel by bus or subway. It seemed fitting for the Swami to have a car to ride in, but this was only a little Volkswagen and Bruce winced whenever they hit a bump and it jostled Prabhupada. As they wound their way on through the mountains, Bruce recalled something he had read in a book by Aldous Huxley\u2019s wife about the best places for meditation. One opinion had been that the best place to meditate was by a large body of water, because of the negative ions in the air, and the other opinion was that it was better to meditate in the mountains, because you are higher up and closer to God. \u201cIs it better for spiritual realization to meditate in the mountains?\u201d Bruce asked. Prabhupada replied, \u201cThis is nonsense. There is no question of \u2018better place.\u2019 Are you thinking that God is up on some planet or something and you have to go up high? No. You can meditate anywhere. Just chant Hare Krishna.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After some time the drive became tiring for Prabhupada and he dozed, his head resting forward.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Impressions of Swamiji\u2019s Kirtana<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Bruce walked with Swamiji up to his apartment, opening the door for him, adjusting the window as he liked it, and preparing things in his room, as if he were the Swami\u2019s personal servant. Prabhupada settled back into his Second Avenue apartment, feeling pleased with the visit to Ananda Ashram. The kirtana<\/i> had been successful, and one of Dr. Mishra\u2019s foremost students had commented that he was impressed by Prabhupada\u2019s followers: simply by chanting they seemed to be achieving an advanced level of yoga discipline, whereas \u201cwe have more difficulty with all our postures and breath control.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 8, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Peace Vigil at the U.N.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some met at the storefront and went by bus, carrying karatalas<\/i>, a tambourine, and the Swami\u2019s bongo. Swamiji rode with a few of his followers in a taxi. The typical dress of his followers consisted of well-worn sneakers, black pants or blue jeans, and T-shirts or button-down sport shirts. Travelling uptown in the early morning put the boys in a lighthearted spirit, and when they saw Swamiji at the U.N. in his flowing saffron robes they became inspired. Swamiji began the chanting, but right away the peace vigil organizers stepped in and asked him to stop. This was a \u201csilent vigil\u201d they said, and it should have prayerful, non-violent silence. The boys were crushed, but Swamiji accepted the restriction and began silently chanting on his beads.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A dignitary stood up before the assembly and made a short speech in which he mentioned Gandhi, and then he turned to Prabhupada and indicated that he could now speak about peace. Standing erectly, the U.N. skyscraper looming behind him, Swamiji spoke in a soft voice. The world must accept that God is the proprietor of everything and the friend of everyone, he said. Only then can we have real peace. Mr. Bogart had scheduled the Swami for two hours of silent prayer. Prabhupada had the devotees sit together and softly chant japa<\/i> until their two scheduled hours were up. Then they left.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As Prabhupada rode back downtown in the heavy morning traffic, he said New York reminded him of Calcutta. Amid the start-and-stop motion and noise of the traffic he explained, \u201cWe have nothing to do with peace vigils. We simply want to spread this chanting of Hare Krishna, that\u2019s all. If people take to this chanting, peace will automatically come. Then they won\u2019t have to artificially try for peace.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The U.N. Representative\u2019s Visit to the Storefront is Botched<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada had participated in the peace vigil to oblige his contact, Mr. Bogart. Now Mr. Bogart was phoning to offer his appreciation and agreeing to visit the storefront. He wanted to help, and he would discuss how the Swami could work with the U.N. and how he could solicit help from important people for his movement of Indian culture and peace.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada regarded Mr. Bogart\u2019s imminent visit as very important, and he wanted to cook for him personally and receive him in his apartment with the best hospitality. When the day arrived, Prabhupada and Keith cooked together in the small kitchen for several hours, making the best Indian delicacies. Prabhupada posted Stanley downstairs and told him not to allow anyone to come up while he was cooking the feast for Mr. Bogart. Stanley assented, blinking his eyes with his far-off \u201csaintly\u201d look.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Stanley stationed himself downstairs in the storefront. A few of the boys were there, and he told them, \u201cYou can\u2019t go up to see the Swami \u2013 no one can.\u201d About twelve noon, Larry Bogart arrived, pale, elderly, and well-dressed by Lower East Side standards. He said he wanted to see Swami Bhaktivedanta. \u201cSorry,\u201d Stanley informed him, his boyish face trying to impress the stranger with the seriousness of the order, \u201cthe Swami is busy now, and he said no one can see him.\u201d Mr. Bogart decided he would wait. There was no chair in the storefront, but Stanley brought him a folding chair. It was a hot day. Mr. Bogart looked at his watch several times. A half hour passed. Stanley sat chanting and sometimes staring off blankly. After an hour, Mr. Bogart asked if he could see the Swami now. Stanley assured him that he could not, and Mr. Bogart left in a huff.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Upstairs, Swamiji had become anxious, wondering why Mr. Bogart had not arrived. Finally, he sent Keith downstairs, and Stanley told him about the man whom he had turned away. \u201cWhat?\u201d Keith exploded. \u201cBut that was \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Within moments, Swamiji heard what had happened. He became furious. He came down to the storefront: \u201cYou fool! You silly fool!\u201d He turned and angrily rebuked everyone in the room, but mostly Stanley. No one had ever seen the Swami so angry. Then Swamiji walked away in disgust and returned to his apartment.<\/p>\n

August 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Kirtana <\/i>Kaleidoscope<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada sat down and began singing. Hayagriva with his full beard and checkered shirt was hitting the big cymbal with the drumstick. Swamiji accepted it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

With rough and ready hands (clap-clap-clap<\/i>), we were like a group of peasants stomping their feet. Our sleeves were rolled up. Young men clapping as Swamiji sang the bhajana<\/i>. The boys played off each other\u2019s voices, so we wouldn\u2019t get bored. The main thing, though, is to hear when the Swami sings. Then<\/i> you sing.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Look over at the others. Look at their faces moving back and forward with eyes closed. Look up at the Swami. Each one is into his own experience, but you are all together. You are not long-time friends, but there is a bond.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This thick-bodied clapping keeps the kirtana<\/i> solid. It helps concentration; it is what Swamiji invites.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The kids are at the door. Trucks grinding gears. We are bunched at the Swamiji\u2019s feet in that one part of the universe, drawing from the kirtana<\/i> that he is giving \u2013 and they can\u2019t get at us now<\/i>. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Responding to the Swami\u2019s Call<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji said, \u201cThis boy Steve is nice, he gives donations and does typing.\u201d After he said that, I went downstairs into the storefront. I picked up the double bass which I had donated to the temple. No one was around, so I started strumming, feeling happy and savoring the glow of what Swamiji had said. In those days, we didn\u2019t know the proper expression for gratitude: making prostrated obeisances and saying a mantra to the guru. However, as I strummed, I chanted Hare Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One night after kirtana<\/i>, I stopped on the way home at a quick-serve pizzeria for a slice of pizza and a Coke. I did not know you were supposed to offer the food to Krishna, and that this food was unofferable. Having a pizza was a celebration of my new-found ecstasy.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On the walls of my apartment, I painted abstractions of madness and loneliness, but after I started seeing the Swami, a different mood broke out. A positive figure appeared on the wall. I chanted and painted for over two hours.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji gave us wholesome life. At first it was hard to accept. I thought, \u201cIt is cool, the life I have. It is desperate, but after all, life itself<\/i> is desperate \u2013 just like Van Gogh said, misery is eternal. You can get high on pot and you can try your best. You are an artist. Keep trying.\u201d I fed myself existential philosophy: \u201cAlthough life is absurd, you must give it meaning.\u201d Swamiji replaced the dismal view.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said, \u201cKrishna consciousness is not an artificial imposition on the mind. It is the original energy of the living being.\u201d He uncovered instincts that were buried in my psyche, belief in God, desire for good food and work, all the things I thought I had to give up because they were square. He exposed the fact that I was living a lie. He proved that happiness is now<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Responding to Swamiji\u2019s love was one of the first things I did on my own. Everything before that was conditioned by my parents, and after that it was conditioned by a reaction against them. Not many people on the Lower East Side were going to him. It was not something my parents wanted from me, and neither was it what my hip friends wanted me to do, nor what my worshipable authors wanted me to do. The religion I was raised in did not teach me how to love. No one encouraged me, yet everything was encouraging me from within. My sense of survival and sanity and religiosity \u2013 everything was saying, \u201cDon\u2019t listen to other voices. Do it!\u201d <\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Years later, Prabhupada was reminiscing. He said to Kirtananda Swami, \u201cYou came with the others?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Kirtananda said. \u201cMe and Umapati and Hayagriva all lived together.\u201d Then Prabhupada turned to me and said, \u201cYou came with them also?\u201d I said, \u201cNo, Prabhupada, I came by myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yes,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Praying to the Giver of the Holy Name<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know much, but I was with the Swami. He led the chanting and we sang with him. He talked and we heard. We went home and thought over what he said. \u201cThe Swami is self-realized. In the First Canto of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, it says that you have to hear from a self-realized soul. Swamiji says he is going to teach us about Krishna.\u201d I remember the books in his room, and the Swami in his room, and him coming down to have kirtana<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Years later Prabhupada said, \u201cIn the beginning, I did not tell them that you have to follow any rules and regulations. I simply said chant.\u201d It is a fact, he simply said chant Hare Krishna and we chanted with him. That was a different time when Swamiji was here on earth, and now he is not here. He is in samadhi<\/i>, gone back to Godhead. He had left us behind to continue the Krishna consciousness movement. We follow his instructions.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes my mind says, \u201cIf you go back to those days, you will be disappointed. You will see that you were such a raw neophyte. You had bad ideas in your mind and you did not fully appreciate the Swami. Over the years, you have built up an image of how faithful you were and how much you estimated Prabhupada as very dear to Krishna. That is what you think now, but back then \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No, it is not true! We held him in high esteem, I am sure we did. I am not afraid to go back. I know it will be imperfect, and I know that imperfection will be due to my<\/i> perception. So, my dear unconscious self and all other selves, do not be afraid to use this body and mind to allow us to go back and chant with Swami as it was then. We can do it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One may object, \u201cThere are so many things to do<\/i> for Prabhupada. Why sit around and try to remember being with him?\u201d I agree, but can\u2019t we spare some time to try to do this? Are we so effective now on Swamiji\u2019s behalf? Are we doing such tremendous things? I mean, do we have such complete potency that we do not need to get in touch with him in a very personal and primitive way again? The fact is, we do need to get in touch with him. The essence of Krishna consciousness is not just propaganda and organization, but attraction to the Lord, and especially to the Lord\u2019s holy name, which is the most merciful way that He appears in the world. Yet, as merciful as the holy name is, He has to be given by a devotee. You have to receive the holy name from a pure devotee. Therefore, I remember those mornings when Prabhupada gave us the holy name.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although I complain a million times over that I must be cursed because I cannot realize the chanting due to my offenses, I still chant, and I still think of you. Bhakti<\/i> is a great science; many have realized it. I am slow, but I have realized some of it, too. In the material world nothing can compare with this. The bhakti-yoga<\/i> of chanting the holy names as given by Lord Caitanya is very easy to perform, and it gives us our connection to Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

O Holy Name, You are so kind that You came with the Swami to the Lower East Side. You appeared there in the mouths of his boys and purified us. You purified Tompkins Square Park and the whole atmosphere of New York City. You kindly appeared in our kirtanas<\/i> by the wish of Your pure devotee who knew how to form Your sacred letters. Those \u201calphabets\u201d, as Prabhupada said, are non-different from Krishna; they are Krishna. You do not appear just by anyone\u2019s<\/i> combining of the alphabets K-R-I-S-H-N-A. When Swamiji did it, You appeared in that storefront so that even crazy boys became enthusiastic to possess You.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

O Holy Name, You appeared among us because Your pure devotee appeared among us, walking on his lotus feet, playing his karatalas<\/i> in his lotus hands. He looked at us and lived with us. O Holy Name, You were happy to appear there and we are thankful. We are sad, however, that we have offended You in many ways and have not been steadfast and strong to spread the glories of the Holy Name.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Initiation was my beginning, but I did not appreciate it then. Now I wish to fall at Your feet and surrender my mind.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That is the best kind of memory, to actually go back in time and say, \u201cI accept.\u201d Arjuna took an hour and a half to do it in Bhagavad-gita<\/i>; we may have to take twenty-five or forty years to say, \u201cI am ready, I accept.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Red Beads<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although Swamiji had a bead bag, he often chanted on his beads by holding them in two hands. The boys followed this method, and even when we were not chanting, we would wear the beads around our necks in a double strand. Swamiji thought this was acceptable; he told us to either keep them in a bead bag or wear them around our necks. And you can take them on the street like this, \u201cif you are not ashamed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Soon after Prabhupada\u2019s arrival on Second Avenue, young men started appearing in public with bright red beads around their necks. In those days, devotees did not wear dhotis<\/i> or tilaka<\/i> or shaved heads, so the main way that you could spot a devotee was by his read beads. With Gargamuni, it was his Shakespearean locks and his red beads. We thought wearing the beads was cool, with their clicking noise and red shine. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We learned to finger the beads by watching Swamiji. You fingered with your right hand and held the other half of the strand in your left hand. As you moved each bead through the right hand, you moved the strand through the left hand and gradually passed the circle around your neck. It involved more touch and sight than when the beads were kept in the bead bag. Besides, bead bags hadn\u2019t arrived yet.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One day I was going to visit welfare clients on Canal Street and chanted as I walked. I began to feel uneasy that my chanting was not being counted in any way. I wanted to capture it and get credit for it. As soon as I saw Swamiji I told him, \u201cMy chanting is just going to the wind.\u201d He instructed me to buy little beads to use as counters. When I returned with the beads, he said, \u201cYou are very prompt.\u201d Then he showed us how to use the counters. He said that Vaisnavas in India keep individual quotas for japa<\/i>. Some have a thousand beads on one circular strand, and they chant one round a day.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When he held initiations, it was a good chance for us to watch him chant. He gave us instructions about chanting on our beads at that time. He told us to chant by starting with the bead next to the \u201chead bead.\u201d Chant the Hare Krishna mantra on each bead by using the thumb and the third finger. Don\u2019t touch the beads with the pointing finger. Go around once, and when you reach the summit bead, don\u2019t cross over, but start back in the other direction.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 14, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Chant One Round<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One of the best times to chant was in the morning with Swamiji. After kirtana<\/i> he used to say, \u201cChant one round.\u201d We did it together. He usually finished before we did, and then we all trailed off, even if we hadn\u2019t finished the round.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One day I was sitting on a bench on a traffic \u201cisland\u201d on First Street. I was fingering the beads and chanting, when my mind suddenly faced me and said, \u201cWhat do you actually feel?\u201d I had to admit that I did not feel anything. I did not feel contact with Krishna. Some of my old friends had said that the whole practice of chanting Hare Krishna was a concoction from the East. It was something that the practitioners made up and believed in because of tradition. I faced that barrier and continued chanting. I concluded that rational analysis was not the deciding factor.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In my apartment, chanting privately, I sensed the luxury that japa<\/i> afforded. I owned no comfortable furniture, no rug, television or air conditioning. Yet I felt luxury by fingering the beads. I imagined sages in India as described in the Bhagavatam<\/i>. As they were chanting, so was I.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we chanted as a group, we watched each other\u2019s operations. Everyone moved the strand around their necks, working and clicking the beads.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Devotees wrote poems about chanting and published them in Back to Godhead<\/i>. I wrote one called \u201cSeparation\u201d, and Brahmananda wrote a prayer, \u201cIn my next thousands of births, may I please chant at least one attentive round\u201d. What a humble statement! Brahmananda wrote another poem about chanting Hare Krishna on the subway. \u201cYou think I am crazy sitting here with my beads. But you don\u2019t understand that I have God\u2019s spine in my bead bag.\u201d The metaphor \u201cGod\u2019s spine\u201d was a bit strange, but the meaning was, \u201cI am happy chanting Hare Krishna\u201d.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Raya Rama also published a poem, \u201cRed Cherries\u201d. He compared the wooden beads to cherries. The cherries that grow on bushes fade, just as the patterns of flowers fade in an oriental rug. However, the cherries of devotion, the holy names, are everlasting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Escaping the Box Within a Box<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One evening as Prabhupada was lecturing, a guest became restless. He stood up and moved from one part of the room to another. Prabhupada asked him what was wrong. The man, whose name was Burton Greene, said, \u201cI feel boxed-in sitting over there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada smiled and said, \u201cA box within a box.\u201d He then explained that our material body is like a box for the soul, and the room we are in is another box \u2013 and the whole material universe is another box.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we remember Prabhupada, it is like crawling outside all the boxes and entering the spiritual world. There is an old fashioned drawing that depicts this. A shepherd is in a field. The sky above is filled with stars and is shaped like an inverted bowl. The shepherd is crawling outside the border of the drawing. By an optical illusion the drawing suggests that the shepherd is crawling outside the universe. I want to do this by entering the kirtana<\/i> with Prabhupada and hearing from him with faith.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sadhu-sanga, sadha-sanga \u2013 sarva-sastre kaya \/ lava-matra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi haya. <\/i>(Cc Madhya, <\/i>22.54) Even one moment\u2019s association with a pure devotee can give one liberation. We are trying to go back to that moment. \u201cThe value of a moment\u2019s association with the devotee of the Lord cannot even be compared to the attainment of heavenly planets or liberation from matter, and what to speak of worldly benedictions in the form of material prosperity, which are for those who are meant for death.\u201d (Bhag<\/i>. 1.18.13) <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We live within a mortal anxiety, which builds during the day. Toward evening we sink and think, \u201cAnother day in which I have not done enough.\u201d When I feel like this, like a box within a box, I go to hear Srila Prabhupada in his 1966 kirtana<\/i>. I chant with him and stop worrying about my failure to follow him. At least during the period of the kirtana<\/i> I escape mortality. I hear the sweet roughness of his voice. I sing and clap. I crawl outside the boundary of the universe.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Offering Prabhupada Your Love<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I want to give Prabhupada pleasure, as well as receive pleasure from him. Usually, we beg from him. We are bankrupt, and he is full of Krishna\u2019s mercy. That is the relationship of father and son. We are always drawing from him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

However, when happiness comes my way, I want to share it with Prabhupada. For example, now I am writing memories of my youth and the books that I have read, and I am making Krishna conscious commentary. I thought it came out as interesting reading and could draw people toward Krishna consciousness. As I felt a lift from doing this, I wanted to share it with my spiritual master.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I worried, \u201cIs Prabhupada going to like this?\u201d Then I remembered that Prabhupada appreciates whatever is successful in Krishna consciousness. He likes it if, on our own, we develop something and present it as an offering to him. The spiritual master wants to see the disciple use his intelligence for Krishna. That may involve all kinds of deliberation and development by the disciple. In the end, his joy is that Prabhupada does accept it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes you dream up something; it comes out of your life and you feel deeply about it. It may even be an anartha <\/i>that you face; you deal with it and convert it into Krishna consciousness. Srila Prabhupada said that someone once found an old gourd and a metal string, and from these rejected pieces he made a beautiful vina<\/i>. When we pick up the bits and scraps of our lives and make them into something useful in Krishna consciousness, we feel a lift of happiness. \u201cLet me show this to Prabhupada.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This also works in our prayers. Prayer is not only for formal times, but for whenever we turn to our Friend. You may be working in your room for example, and because there is no heat, the chill starts getting to you. You notice it and you call out, \u201cPrabhupada, it is so cold here!\u201d Prabhupada meditation can be very ready, as near as our dearest friend. It is a respectful, intimate relationship.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If we do not offer Krishna our selfhood, then there is the danger of making offerings only in an official way. Our offering may appear impeccable; we may do everything according to the rules, with proper standards of cleanliness and on time. But what if we somehow avoid giving ourselves? If we do not give ourselves wholeheartedly, we will reserve some energy for other things. The energy will be bottled up and lead to frustration, or we will expand the energy for something separate from our service to guru and Krishna. If we want to offer our full selves, we have to be enthusiastic. We should not hold back.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada tends to be lenient in bringing out the best in students. Thus he allows his students gradually to give more and more of themselves as they feel inclined. The students try to elevate their tastes and talents until their offerings become pleasing to Krishna and Prabhupada. Why not offer Prabhupada something we know is pleasing to pure devotees and to Krishna? The highest standard of offering is a devotee\u2019s full energy and self, dovetailed in the interest of Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One devotee of Krishna was so ecstatic that when Krishna visited his house, the devotee offered Krishna banana peels instead of bananas. The offering was imperfect, but because it was done in love, Krishna happily accepted it. The gopis\u2019<\/i> service, on the other hand, was so perfect that it captured Krishna\u2019s mind. Their service was wholehearted and perfectly rendered according to the devotional arts \u2013 they knew how to please Him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We can all try offering whatever we have to Prabhupada. We will always be fools before him, but at least we will have offered everything we could.<\/p>\n

August 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Risks<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Neither was Prabhupada able to conduct a full initiation ceremony with all the details for yajna<\/i>. For bricks we found some discarded ones at a construction site, and for dirt we dug it up (when Mr. Chudy was not looking) from the garden in the courtyard. Prabhupada conducted the initiation with faith in the holy names and a desire to carry out his spiritual master\u2019s order. He improvised and accepted the broken souls who came to him, provided he saw them as sincere. Everything he did was bona fide according to Vaisnava sm\u1e5bti<\/i>, but some things had to be done according to time, place, and persons. If he did not have ghee, he\u2019d do a ceremony with butter, even margarine.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cPrabhupada, you asked for coconuts, but we can\u2019t find any. We\u2019ve got bananas but no banana leaves.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d Prabhupada said. He was not going to stop an initiation for lack of banana leaves.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Neophyte Prepares for Initiation (Part 1)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes I wonder how Swamiji saw me in those early days. He had spiritual vision, and he was also a very perceptive gentleman, with much experience in business and in dealing with people. He could see into a person\u2019s character, and so he liked to quote, \u201cThe face is the index of the mind.\u201d What good did he see in me?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although for a few years I had been living a strung-out life on the Lower East Side, I still had a karmi<\/i> background of middle-class values. By the time I met Swamiji, I had in some ways plunged over the edge and almost lost my physical life. He must have seen that craziness in my eyes. So why did he trust that I could follow the rules? Perhaps he also saw my desire to be a respectable citizen in his ISKCON. At least he hadn\u2019t seen me high on drugs or making loose jokes. I had shaped up soon after seeing him and had become eager to prove myself with responsible duties. He could see that I was willing to keep my welfare job and give money. I was the boy who typed.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But even though I had stopped the four major sins soon after meeting him, Prabhupada could see my leftover decadence. I did not have to say anything; he could look right through me. When he met me, he seemed somewhat startled, amused, and also compassionate. Although Srila Prabhupada knew Calcutta and its gundas<\/i>, beggars, and ruffians, still, because he was so pure and childlike, he was sometimes surprised to see that his ISKCON boys were also like that. It was part of his learning to be in the West.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If you kept yourself humble before Srila Prabhupada, even when he was seeing through to your corrupt core, and if you had faith in Krishna consciousness and in Swamiji to help you get rid of those vices forever, then you qualified for initiation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Neophyte Prepares for Initiation (Part 2)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When the first initiation came on Janmastami, I hadn\u2019t been following for even two months so I passed it up, but then I felt sorry. The boys who were initiated seemed happy with their red beads, and I felt left out. I did not have a spiritual name. Soon afterward, I overheard someone say that there was going to be another initiation on Radhastami in two weeks\u2019 time.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Hayagriva asked me, \u201cAre you going to get initiated?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cI\u2019d like to. I think I\u2019m ready this time. What do I have to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should ask Swamiji I guess, to see if it\u2019s all right with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

So I went up and said, \u201cSwamiji, I heard there\u2019s going to be another initiation. I would like to be initiated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was calm about my request. He was never hasty. He took his time, weighing things deeply, and yet at the same time he seemed casual. He was more at home in New York City than I was, especially in his room, which had become an asrama<\/i>. When I went into his room, the room of the guru, which was kept so simple and spiritual, I was the self-conscious one and he was perfectly at ease. He was like a lotus sitting on the dirty waters of New York City, floating above it all. And he was all alone; there was no other devotee dressed in dhoti<\/i> with Vaisnava tilaka<\/i> \u2013 just Prabhupada, alone and chaste to the parampara<\/i> and to his Guru Maharaja. He was determined. And now some little success had come in starting ISKCON.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cI would like to get initiated.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada replied, \u201cYou\u2019ll have to be a strict vegetarian.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cI already am, Swamiji. I\u2019m already a vegetarian.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The meeting was over almost as soon as it had begun. I like to claim that we all had access to Prabhupada whenever we wanted, and that\u2019s true. But we always knew that we weren\u2019t his equals or buddies. We did not want to waste his time. But to be able to go personally, even for a brief moment, and have him personally approve my initiation, was worth everything. So I was in and out of his room within a few minutes. He had accepted me!<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Rupanuga Prabhu tells a similar story about going up to see Swamiji and asking for initiation. He had a speech prepared in his mind and he kept rehearsing it, \u201cMy dear Swamiji, will you kindly accept me as your disciple and teach me about Krishna consciousness?\u201d But when he went up to Swamiji\u2019s room, he only said, \u201cSwamiji, will you make me your disciple?\u201d And Prabhupada said, \u201cYes.\u201d So Rupanuga dropped the rest of his speech. He thought, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing else to say. He has accepted me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Giving Money for Krishna\u2019s Mission<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I first attended 26 Second Avenue, I gave small donations in the collection basket. Then I started giving larger donations, sometimes 20 dollars. One time I \u201cdonated\u201d 40 dollars, although I hadn\u2019t intended to \u2013 it fell out of my sock. It was my habit to keep money hidden in my sock, as I had seen my supervisor at the welfare office do. He said that this was an excellent method to protect your money in case you were held up by a mugger. So one night when I went to hear and see Swamiji in his room, I took my socks off, forgetting about my hidden money. Later, one of the boys came downstairs and said, \u201cWow! We just found 40 in Swamiji\u2019s room.\u201d I said, \u201cThat was my money!\u201d The boys looked like they did not believe me, but I asked them, \u201cCould you please tell the Swami to accept it as a donation from me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After that I decided to give everything I had, the balance from my total savings of 600 dollars. I still remember how Swamiji smiled when I gave him my savings, and I think about why he was so happy. At the time when I gave my \u201cbig\u201d donation, Swamiji was residing in his apartment and using the temple storefront, but with no set income. He was simply trusting in Krishna. He had struggled for a year in New York City, moving from place to place, and he had attained a very nice base at Second Avenue. If he failed here, he would probably decide to go back to India; there was no other alternative. And yet Prabhupada wanted to serve his Guru Maharaja by preaching in the West. He might have seen a donation like mine as a sign from Krishna. Prabhupada might have thought, \u201cJust see, Krishna is showing me that this movement is going to go on and be successful.\u201d Even years later when Prabhupada was getting hundreds of thousands of dollars, he saw it as Krishna sending money for the spreading of the Krishna consciousness movement.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After giving my savings in 1966, I no longer had the pleasure of giving so much of my own money to Prabhupada because I had none to give. Later on, wealthy disciples like Ambarisa and Lekasravanti were able to personally give Prabhupada substantial amounts. I continued with the weekly donations of my paycheck, and I also began to take part along with Prabhupada in collecting the money. I remember bringing the basket up to him in the evening and presenting the small collection from the Second Avenue congregation. The money was in one of those stiff-woven baskets, and Prabhupada counted five or six dollars, and then made the reverent gesture with folded hands and said, \u201cMoney is Laksmi.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Incredible Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada once said.<\/p>\n

Prabhupada gave the example.<\/p>\n

One time Prabhupada said.<\/p>\n

On a morning walk,<\/p>\n

once to a roomful of guests in New York.<\/p>\n

One time I went to see Prabhupada,<\/p>\n

and once Prabhupada told a devotee.<\/p>\n

Once he told a reporter.<\/p>\n

Prabhupada says; he wrote.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t count how many times I say them,<\/p>\n

but it is plenty. You can overdo it,<\/p>\n

but when the examples come<\/p>\n

just to the point,<\/p>\n

it is nectar for all.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Thank God I can remember them.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t strive for them, but they come.<\/p>\n

Just as birds start chirping at dawn,<\/p>\n

those references come to your mind, in words.<\/p>\n

A lady said, \u201cI heard that Krishna consciousness<\/p>\n

breaks up families. Is it true?\u2019<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said no and he gestured<\/p>\n

to half a dozen g\u1e5bhastha<\/i> disciples in the room.<\/p>\n

Someone asked, \u201cCan you love your wife<\/p>\n

without reference to Krishna?\u201d<\/p>\n

Prabhupada said, \u201cYou have to put<\/p>\n

your love in the right place.<\/p>\n

Carrots are good for eyesight<\/p>\n

but you can\u2019t put them<\/p>\n

directly into your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Fortunately there is no end to this type of remembrance. They come a dozen a minute. Or you can slow them down. Use them carefully. It is worship. Serve them. Don\u2019t hit people on the head with your memories. Don\u2019t boast. Tell the right story. When a devotee asked Prabhupada, \u201cWhat will please you the most?\u201d Prabhupada hesitated a moment and then said, \u201cIf you love Krishna.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Accepted Our Awkwardness<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There are awkward moments in spiritual life, especially in the beginning. One is hesitant to chant or dance or to accept the \u201cIndian God\u201d. And yet we are drawn to Krishna consciousness. In one of his early lectures, Srila Prabhupada said something which assured us not to feel awkward.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This was at a time when I myself did not know whether I wanted to be completely surrendered to him and agree with everything he said, or whether I wanted to consider myself an interested visitor to the storefront. Prabhupada said, \u201cI can assure you that those who are taking seriously to Krishna consciousness are doing so because you have practiced it in your past life.\u201d He said this while lecturing on the Sixth Chapter of the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. Prabhupada said, \u201cWhy are you coming to the storefront? You have the urge. And this is coming from the past. If we accept what the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> says, then you have developed your attraction to Krishna consciousness in a past life and it is coming up again.\u201d When Prabhupada said this, it made me feel privileged and rare. Everyone likes to think that perhaps within himself he is a mystical person, a yogi, and here was Prabhupada giving us just such information about our own past lives.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Once I crossed over the line between guest and disciple, there were still awkward moments. One night, before I was initiated, I was hanging out in the storefront with a few of Prabhupada\u2019s followers. Suddenly, Prabhupada walked into the storefront, although it was not an evening in which he was scheduled to lecture. He said that he had come down because he saw a light on in the storefront bathroom and he did not want the electricity to be wasted. After he turned off the light, we stood facing Prabhupada, and there seemed nothing else to say. It was an awkward moment because our relationship with Prabhupada was so undeveloped. Prabhupada had his great hopes for spreading Krishna consciousness, but so far not much had happened. It would also be in the future that we would become more attached to Prabhupada and understand him better. So everything was undeveloped and we were waiting. One has to endure those times in order to go on to something better.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And sometimes you can see it all very clearly, how you are undeveloped and awkward. You can see your lack of serious devotional relationship with Prabhupada. He was a stranger to you, and yet he was awesome, the way he came down gravely and caught you all hanging around idly. He suddenly came into our midst and we had nothing much to say to him, and not much to offer him. At that moment Srila Prabhupada also had nothing more to say to us except, \u201cI came down because I saw the light on.\u201d Of course there was much more. Prabhupada had not come to America just to stay alone in his room and to notice that a light was on in the downstairs bathroom. But at each particular moment, you sometimes have to accept only a little bit. You accept it and go on, and Krishna makes better things happen.<\/p>\n

August 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Did Prabhupada Make Predictions That Did Not Come True?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a>Srila Prabhupada always encouraged us in chanting the Hare Krishna mantra. He told audiences at 26 Second Avenue that the boys and girls who are chanting Hare Krishna are experiencing pleasure and absorption in love of God. What could be attained previously only through great austerity can now be achieved simply by chanting Hare Krishna. As proof of this, Prabhupada offered the example of his disciples who are chanting Hare Krishna and giving up attraction to material life.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes I doubt whether these things are actually coming true. Were they true when Prabhupada was present, but not true now? Were they ever true? If they are true, how to understand them? Or should we not make attempts to analyze?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s statements are true because they are based on sastra<\/i>. In the sastra<\/i>, we find much encouragement that lowborn or low-class persons can successfully chant Hare Krishna. Even if a person born in a family of dogeaters chants Hare Krishna once, he becomes qualified to perform Vedic yajnas<\/i>. Those who are chanting Hare Krishna in this lifetime must have accomplished all Vedic practices in previous lifetimes. There is no doubt that the Vaisnava acaryas<\/i>, and especially the followers of Lord Caitanya, praised the power of the holy name over all other spiritual practices. What Prabhupada has added to all of this is the claim that now <\/i>these teachings are actually taking place, people from all races and religions all over the world are chanting Hare Krishna and getting good results.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sociologists have their empirical methods for assessing the effects of chanting. They might follow a group of devotees for twenty years. They give them questionnaires and interviews and judge how they progress in spiritual life from year to year. In this way, they try to build statistical evidence for theories. That is not the Vaisnava way \u2013 at least it is not my way.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One way to reply to doubts is to speak for yourself. When your experience confirms what is stated in sastra<\/i> and by the spiritual master, then you have strong evidence. I want to be a successful statistic to prove Prabhupada correct. If I can do that, then my confidence will be strong. If someone claims that most devotees do not get benefit from chanting as Prabhupada predicted, I can reply, \u201cI know the benefits have been there for me.\u201d Unfortunately, I cannot claim significant progress in my own chanting. I look at some of the positive statements Prabhupada made about chanting, and I feel sorry.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I know, however, that Prabhupada was not making false predictions. One has to look carefully at his use of language. He may say that if a devotee sincerely chants, then he will get the good results. In one purport Prabhupada states that chanting is very simple, but you have to take it seriously. There may be something wrong with us, rather than with Prabhupada\u2019s statements. Our own inability to experience the benefits of chanting may be a cause for concern, but this should not lead us to doubt the spiritual master or the namacarya<\/i>, Haridasa Thakura, whom he represents. In fact, our individual failure is also predicted by the acaryas<\/i>. They say that if someone does not take advantage of this easy system of chanting Hare Krishna, then there is no other hope for him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Vaisnava acaryas<\/i> sympathize with people like me. They have stated on our behalf, \u201cI do not have attraction for the chanting of Hare Krishna; therefore, I must be cursed by Yamaraja.\u201d Lord Caitanya speaks for the conditioned souls and says, \u201cI do not have a taste for chanting Hare Krishna because of committing offenses.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As Good As God<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is Krishna who makes the beautiful material world with its oceans and mountains. You cannot thank Prabhupada for the creation, yet I feel, \u201cOh Prabhupada, thank you!\u201d What I mean to say is, \u201cThank you, Prabhupada, for enabling me to see the creation as the work of Krishna. Thank you for giving me the eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I remember being in Prabhupada\u2019s room in 1966 and thinking of him \u201cas God\u201d. He was talking to a group of us. I suddenly thought, \u201cHe is God for me,\u201d but I did not say anything. I had never had a direct experience of God, just talked about Him. However, the Swami was a person who knew love of God. Therefore, God was in the room when you were with the pure devotee.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

What I felt that day was something I could not put into an essay. When it is time for expressing things in writing, then we must make them very clear: there is an eternal distinction between the individual soul who is a pure devotee of Krishna and the Supreme Soul. Krishna is the complete whole and all the devotees, including the liberated souls, are part and parcel of the Supreme Lord. Everyone serves the Lord. No one is the Supreme isvara<\/i> except Krishna. This is all very clear and the acaryas<\/i> are the ones who make it clear for us. Fortunately, we also have spiritual-emotional moments when we feel so grateful to the pure devotee that we utter, at least within ourselves, \u201cYou are God to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By his grace, I meditate on the spiritual master who is one of the individual expansions of the Lord. He is not an ordinary living entity. His perfection is his intimate service to the Supreme Lord and to the Vaisnavas. I meditate on that spiritual master who is described distinctly in each verse of the \u201cGurvastakam<\/i>\u201d. He soaks us with rain from the ocean of love of God. He puts out the forest fire of samsara<\/i>. When he chants the holy name, he sometimes dances and sheds tears in ecstasy. He teaches us to worship the arca-vigraha<\/i> of Lord Krishna and Srimati Radharani. He teaches us to prepare food and to give it to Krishna. The spiritual master is happy to see his devotees honoring bh\u0101gavata-prasadam<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I meditate on the spiritual master, who is always engaged in the pastimes of Radha and Krishna, assisting the assistants of the gopis<\/i>. He is able to do this by virtue of his intense devotion to his own spiritual master, and this has enabled him to enter the pastimes of Vrindavana. The spiritual master is accepted in all the scriptures to be as worshipable as God Himself because he is the confidential servitor of the Lord. When we please him, we please Krishna; when we fail to please him, our destination is unknown.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

True Education<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the mornings, in an intimate setting with his own disciples, Prabhupada taught Caitanya-caritamrta. <\/i>Even in the pedagogical sense, his was an accredited course in advanced spiritual knowledge.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Prabhupada heard that IBM was donating free typewriters to bona fide educational institutions, he asked me to go get one. I met with the man, but when he heard the description of our ISKCON storefront, he said, \u201cI am sorry, but these typewriters are only for educational institutions.\u201d I replied that Krishna consciousness is the king of education. It teaches absolute knowledge. Mathematics, for example, is one department of knowledge within the Absolute Truth. Therefore, ISKCON is an educational institution. He decided not to argue with me, but said that he would send his representative out to check on the quality of classes at 26 Second Avenue. Of course, no one ever came. An impartial educator, however, would have to admit that learning was going on in Prabhupada\u2019s classes. Prabhupada was teaching us the principles and objectives of spiritual science as passed down by the great acaryas<\/i> of India.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Anyone who studies Prabhupada\u2019s books becomes educated in the most important subject. Whenever a follower of Prabhupada hears a discussion of God consciousness, he spots contradictions or a \u201cpoor fund of knowledge\u201d wherever it occurs. Even a young brahmacari<\/i> can note the flaws in the presentation of learned theologians or clergymen. Theologians are puzzled as to \u201cwhy bad things happen to good people\u201d. Some of them theorize that God may be all good, but He is not all powerful. Some may say that God cannot have a form, or that God exists only in human relationships \u2013 but we can see this as a poor fund of knowledge.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One of the benefits of a good education in any field is that one easily meets opposition from prejudiced or ignorant persons. Sometimes people would ask Prabhupada, \u201cWhat is your faith?\u201d Prabhupada usually replied, \u201cIt is not faith, it is fact.\u201d He also said, \u201cYou may believe or not believe, that is a different thing.\u201d When a devotee meets a strong-minded atheist, the devotee sees right away that the atheist is only speaking for himself. We are not shaken in our convictions. Let us always thank Prabhupada for giving us the best education in the most important of all subjects. It is not a sectarian religious education. It is not less important than material knowledge. Prabhupada teaches raja-vidya<\/i>, the king of education. Most of us are unqualified to receive this education, and yet we have received a full scholarship. Just as an underprivileged person feels fortunate to receive a scholarship to a top university, we are grateful that Prabhupada has accepted us into the University of Vaisnava Brahmanism.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A few colleges now give credits to Prabhupada\u2019s students in courses based on his books. Nevertheless, it is hard to imagine that Krishna conscious students will be given as much credit in the world as science or business students. If Vaisnavas became recognized as educators, that would be nice. If not, we will go on teaching. One who is trained by Prabhupada is better than a PhD \u2013 yet he humbly thinks himself unadvanced.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The subject in which we are trained, love of Krishna, is unlimitedly vast. We can never know everything about Krishna. Therefore, a PhD in this field honestly says that he does not have a deep love for Krishna. He reasons that if he had love for Krishna, how could he live in this world without Him? The accomplished student of Krishna consciousness never considers himself a master of this subject and never becomes puffed up. He acknowledges that even simple people can receive God consciousness by the direct method of chanting the holy names. Prabhupada has taught us everything. He has given the syllabus and the practices, and he has stressed humility. This is true education.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 26, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

An Acarya\u2019s<\/i> Compassion<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was very compassionate to accept his first disciples. Nowadays, those disciples tell of the old days in a humorous way, but for Prabhupada, it was not merely humorous. Sometimes it was painful to see how degraded the youth were.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada realized in a humble way that this was the opportunity Krishna was giving him. He said that our natural beauty was covered over by a morose, dirty appearance.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Those who became his disciples were respectful, but some people were insulting, even while sitting in the audience of the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> lectures. Prabhupada\u2019s disciples were indirectly offensive in their failure to understand the etiquette of approaching the guru. Also, after initiation, they were offensive when they broke the vows. These things were painful to Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We get a little hint of how Prabhupada saw things from some of his expressions. He said that working with the broken youth of America was similar to picking up a discarded wire and an old gourd and making a vina<\/i> out of it. Prabhupada said that his work was similar to Lord Ramacandra\u2019s task of creating an army of monkeys.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada might have thought like this: \u201cAt first I planned to open a Gaudiya Math branch in uptown Manhattan where ladies and gentlemen could come. But Krishna is arranging it that these bewildered hippies \u2013 all young enough to be my grandchildren and great grandchildren \u2013 are coming forward. They are asking me, \u2018Swamiji, can I take LSD? Do we really have to follow these rules?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada preached wholeheartedly. He was a refined and elderly gentleman, yet he took on rough, untrained disciples. He gave himself in a loving relationship yet always remained dependent on Krishna \u2013 and that is what made him attractive to us.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Laughing Memories<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Memoirs of Prabhupada in 1966 are usually told in a humorous way, but sometimes an audience of devotees is a bit shocked when they hear the details. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The humor of those days is that the devotees did not appreciate Prabhupada\u2019s greatness. We did not make obeisances to him, and we said foolish things. One day I gave Prabhupada some typing I had done for him. In return, he handed me a few grapes. I thought, \u201cIs this all I get for typing all night \u2013 some grapes?\u201d When Prabhupada put a plate of prasadam<\/i> on the floor for me to eat, I thought, \u201cThis is the way you would feed a dog.\u201d We tell these stories expecting to get a laugh, but sometimes our audience is displeased. \u201cWhy did you think like that toward Prabhupada? That\u2019s not nice!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The devotees\u2019 shock helps me to see how rude we actually were. How coarse and completely ignorant we were toward Prabhupada. It is all right to laugh at the primitive and ignorant days, but I can also see now that we were rascals. Prabhupada\u2019s exalted position of worship in ISKCON today is not a false one. When we approach him as a jagad-guru<\/i>, we have reached an accurate level of appreciation. In the early days, however, we were ignorant. Those were lovable times because of Prabhupada\u2019s mercy.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We should not think that we knew Prabhupada better in 1966 because we did not offer him obeisances. The early days were not better because Prabhupada accepted our ignorance and familiarity. The glorious part of the early days is that Prabhupada was willing to preach when no one recognized him. He tolerated and was happy that Krishna sent him followers, and gradually he trained them up.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is tempting to make an audience laugh. Lenny Bruce, one of the prominent comedians in the 1960s, was once asked to define a comedian. He said, \u201cA comedian is one who can provoke his audience to laughter every ten seconds, or at the very most, every fifteen seconds.\u201d We each have a comedian within us, but we have to be careful not to indulge ourselves when we tell the raw memories of Srila Prabhupada and his boys in the early days. The most sacred matter, association with Prabhupada, should not be used as an object of humor.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is a fact that the early days with Prabhupada are rich with irony and humorous implications. Telling the stories is also a way to express our affection for Prabhupada. We did love him, but we fell short in honoring him. On the one hand, the humor is harmless. When you are saved from a dangerous situation, you laugh with relief that the danger has passed. Let us remember the flavor of early association with Srila Prabhupada, but not forget to worship him as the tolerant founder-acarya<\/i> and pure devotee of Lord Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBetting\u201d Our Whole Life on Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I had a conversation with Raya Rama just before my initiation by Prabhupada. I said, \u201cHow can I know for sure that I\u2019ll be able to follow all these regulations?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Raya Rama said, \u201cSay it\u2019s a gamble. So gamble that it\u2019s the right thing to do with your life \u2013 that there is God and that He\u2019s the truth and that He\u2019s Krishna. We\u2019re staking our whole life on that. So what the hell? Go for it. There\u2019s always some risk or gamble in life, but this risk is worthwhile.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

His line of reasoning appealed to me. I had been willing to risk my life taking LSD and doing other crazy things, so why should I become hesitant to be initiated just because I couldn\u2019t see a guarantee? In fact, if someone had given me all guarantees, it would have been hard to accept. I took it as an adventure. \u201cGo for it \u2013 get initiated by Swamiji!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On the night of the initiation, I was sitting in Swamiji\u2019s inner room while Swamiji was in the worship room preparing for the ceremony. Keith was sitting beside me. I said, \u201cHow can we actually accept that the person Krishna is the ultimate truth?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Keith repeated the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> verse, \u201cKrishna says, everything depends on Me as pearls are strung on a thread.\u201d That little quoting of the scripture by a godbrother helped purge me of some impersonal hesitation. Godbrothers are so much like ourselves, so when we see that they\u2019re faithful and that they have some knowledge, we accept it \u2013 and then we do it for ourselves.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Taking initiation is supposed to be a solemn commitment, not a casual undertaking. However, despite our promises, we have to admit that we are taking a risk. Srila Prabhupada was also taking a risk by accepting us as disciples. He honored our vows and depended on Krishna, expecting us to carry out our obligations. Srila Prabhupada\u2019s coming to America was itself a risk. Sometimes he had to abandon the strict regulations of sannyasa<\/i> in order to stay and do the more important work of spreading Krishna consciousness. When he stayed in Carl Yeargens\u2019 apartment, he had to keep his food in the same refrigerator where Carl kept cat food. Prabhupada explained that this was actually against the rules for sannyasa<\/i> living but, \u201cIf I thought, \u2018I can\u2019t do this, let me go back to India,\u2019 then I never would have been able to preach.\u201d In Prabhupada\u2019s case, his risks were completely protected by Krishna.<\/p>\n

August 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cCool\u201d Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Another area of discomfort was the culture gap between Prabhupada and his first followers. Hayagriva writes how devotees had to explain what the words \u201cfuzz\u201d, \u201cacid head\u201d and \u201cpot\u201d meant. But once Swamiji heard the terms defined, he understood it perfectly and said that Krishna consciousness was better than any drugs, and was not illegal. With marvelous ease, Srila Prabhupada accepted the fact that many of his followers and congregation were hippies. He bridged the gap and reduced it with specific compassion for the hairy ones who had somehow or other come to hear him. Prabhupada assured them, \u201cYour frustration and confusion is a good sign because you have rejected the material way of life.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

August 30, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Clumsiness of Those Early Days<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The clumsiness of those early days was also expressed in our feelings at first taking on the dress of the Vaisnava and the shaved head and sikha<\/i>. So much awkwardness! Not knowing how to pronounce the Sanskrit, not being able to spell or chant properly \u2013 gradually these things were overcome. Prabhupada did not push them on us. And if Swamiji did not understand the use of a word in the English or American language, it was another occasion for us to love him. <\/p>\n

The unevenness of seeming to come from a different culture was overcome. The all-important first step was to learn the words of the maha-mantra<\/i> \u2013 Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. Once we got that straight, everything became easy and natural. When you think about the fact that within a few months a new devotee feels familiar with the philosophy and with Prabhupada, it makes you think that maybe it really won\u2019t take so long to feel at home in Krishna consciousness and to develop a desire to go back to Godhead.<\/p>\n

August 31, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srimati Radharani<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We can only approach Srimati Radharani<\/p>\n

through Her intimate associates.<\/p>\n

You are one, no doubt about that.<\/p>\n

You preached Her glories everywhere \u2026<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, may I too say<\/p>\n

\u201cQueen of Vraja\u201d, \u201cMother of Bhakti?\u201d<\/p>\n

May I wake to Her service?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not completely cleared <\/p>\n

of material sex desire,<\/p>\n

but I am keeping my vows \u2013 <\/p>\n

can I please begin?<\/p>\n

It is so late already, with little time left \u2013 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve failed to worship Radharani.<\/p>\n

I never stopped to consider<\/p>\n

that She is the refuge of all devotees,<\/p>\n

the dearmost friend.<\/p>\n

I thought I shouldn\u2019t think of Her,<\/p>\n

but now I am begging \u2026<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, please protect <\/p>\n

my creeper of devotional service<\/p>\n

through practical acts for your mission.<\/p>\n

There I will find Radharani\u2019s blessings.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, you said Radharani is <\/p>\n

only known by liberated souls.<\/p>\n

And yet you spoke to us about Her,<\/p>\n

attracted our minds to<\/p>\n

\u201cthe best devotee of Krishna.<\/p>\n

She loves Him the most.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In 1966, when we were still grimed<\/p>\n

with Second Avenue dust, you <\/p>\n

showed us Radharani in a painting.<\/p>\n

And you wrote in TLC<\/i> that She is<\/p>\n

15 days younger than Krishna and <\/p>\n

when He stands in His youthful pose,<\/p>\n

She puts Her hand on His shoulder.<\/p>\n

When I found a color photo of Radha-Krishna<\/p>\n

looking very young, standing together,<\/p>\n

I asked if you liked it.<\/p>\n

You nodded and said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I had that photo reproduced<\/p>\n

for all your disciples.<\/p>\n

Radha-Krishna, the cow, Yamuna, the forest.<\/p>\n

They are the ultimate abode<\/p>\n

of worship, perfection and love of God.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

You taught us this from the beginning:<\/p>\n

\u201cRadha is kind. So we only fast<\/p>\n

until noon on Her birthday.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, tell us more about Radharani.<\/p>\n

Often you\u2019d say, \u201cNo, we are not<\/p>\n

fit to hear.\u201d But then <\/p>\n

you would tell something,<\/p>\n

with caution.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, please teach me still.<\/p>\n

I want to remember you and follow you<\/p>\n

in practical service and in the philosophy<\/p>\n

of the avataras<\/i>, Creation, Bhagavad-gita<\/i> \u2013 <\/p>\n

all leading to Radha-Krishna <\/p>\n

pastimes;<\/p>\n

they are the ultimate,<\/p>\n

you have made it clear.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And Radharani\u2019s name is called upon<\/p>\n

eight times in the Hare Krishna mantra.<\/p>\n

You say we should call on Her<\/p>\n

as a child calls for the mother.<\/p>\n

\u201cO Energy of God! O Lord!<\/p>\n

Please engage me in Your service.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

September 1, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Converts<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Psychologists analyze religious conversions and give many reasons why a person accepts the absolute truth of scripture. I am not trying to analyze my conversion in that way. I know what happened to me: a pure devotee came into my life.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The pure devotee (Prabhupada) has a lot of ammunition. He has very good reasoning power and good arguments. He has personal saintliness and a mystical connection with the Supreme. In addition, Prabhupada had the ancient and great Vaisnava tradition behind him. He was from India and spoke of many acaryas<\/i> who also spoke of Krishna consciousness. He said that what he was preaching was the same thing that Christ and Buddha had taught. So if we went against him, we went against all the Visnu incarnations, all the God-teachers and sages of renunciation and lovers of the Supreme. He frankly said that the truth was beyond our senses; we should accept it and be humble.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I speak of my own conversion, I may also speak for other devotees who joined with me at this time. One thing we all had in common is that we were suffering from material life and we admitted it. Prabhupada said that what he was teaching would bring us freedom from anxiety. We wanted that. Swamiji himself appeared to be free of anxiety, and he was \u201cfixed\u201d. He said that we could do it just by chanting Hare Krishna. We tried it, and when we did not feel much change Prabhupada would assure us, \u201cYou will, eventually.\u201d He told us to be patient. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But for ourselves, did we experience anything<\/i>? Yes, undoubtedly; something<\/i>. I attained release from bad personal habits and addictions. This was something tangible; I knew it for sure. In a more general sense, I also experienced a new meaning to life, a willingness to be part of the adventure of living and hearing from the Swami. To speak psychologically, I would say that Krishna consciousness fulfilled a deep need in my psyche, a desire to be like a monk, someone who would seriously approach a guru. I had perhaps never thought of it exactly in those terms, but I had read about it in novels like Hermann Hesse\u2019s The Glass Bead Game <\/i>and Siddhartha<\/i>. The idea of discipleship was not entirely strange to me. These are some of the things that the Swami had going for him in his battle against our cynicism \u2013 the battle to save souls, to convert us.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 2, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Doubts<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One night after the Swami had shaved his head so that it was gleaming, he sat in his room and talked happily about the four-armed Visnu. But when I saw him, I fell back into thinking, \u201cHow can I believe this?\u201d And the first time I heard him say that Krishna married 16,000 wives, that also set me backwards, and I thought, \u201cI can\u2019t go further. I can\u2019t accept this. It is too fantastic.\u201d Sometimes you expressed these doubts to Prabhupada and sometimes you did not. If you did ask him, he was always ready with strong argument and sastra<\/i>. He was not in the slightest bit doubtful. And neither, by his own understanding, was he being dogmatic. He used to say, \u201cYou may believe or not believe, that is a different matter.\u201d Theoretically, you might imagine that someone in the world might have a better argument against the Swami, but you<\/i> did not have any better argument. Besides, part of you very much wanted to believe him, but you just couldn\u2019t get past some of your doubts.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I heard about the 16,000 wives, I blurted out, \u201cI can\u2019t accept this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada replied, \u201cYou<\/i> cannot? The greatest scholars cannot.\u201d My doubt aroused his concern. There I was, another ignorant person who could not accept Krishna. Why did I not accept Him? \u201cWhy don\u2019t I believe it?\u201d<\/i> This was another strength of Prabhupada\u2019s \u2013 he could answer questions with cool logic, but he was also deeply involved in what he said. He was more involved in his conviction than you were in your doubt.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t Krishna marry 16,000 wives? He\u2019s the creator of everything, and He\u2019s in everyone\u2019s heart. If He comes out of the heart of a small number of persons and becomes their husbands, then He can do it. He can do anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

While Swamiji was lecturing about life on the higher planets, he added, \u201cI am not just saying this, but I am convinced.\u201d That blew my mind. Other times he said, \u201cRest assured\u201d, or \u201cTake it from me\u201d. He was willing to teach us on that basis also. He was saying in effect, \u201cI know what I\u2019m talking about. I realize this. It is a fact, so please accept it and take it from me. If you chant Hare Krishna you will understand that Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. All these things will become revealed to you. Take it from me, there are higher planets. Just because you cannot understand it, and you cannot touch it with your senses, that does not mean that it does not exist.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Gradually I accepted whatever Prabhupada said. Whatever answers and convictions I now hold, they come from that place of a doubtful person who inquired and got answers from Swamiji.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Package Deal<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A godbrother said that when you accept Krishna consciousness, it is like a package deal; you accept everything \u2013 the demigods in the higher planets, the four-armed forms, the thousand-headed forms, and so on. Everything starts to be part of the same axiomatic truth \u2013 whatever is in the Vedas<\/i> or whatever is taught by the spiritual master. You do not pick and choose. Besides, there is a reason why everything is believable. If it is not \u201cbelievable\u201d to you, that is also understandable. You do not have to comprehend it with your own brain \u2013 it is often beyond you. Once you accept these premises, then you accept particular teachings that sound strange to outsiders on the principle of acintya<\/i>, inconceivable knowledge. And as we know, knowledge borne of the senses is defective. The realities of other worlds don\u2019t have to tally with our world. The guru knows what is right.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Once you plunged into it, you began to accept it. You saw American devotees painting pictures of Visnu with four arms. There is<\/i> Lord Visnu and He does<\/i> have four arms, and it is not the most impossible thing in the world. You have two arms and He has two more arms. What\u2019s the big deal? There is spiritual form. We started getting unstuck from our previous conceptions by Prabhupada\u2019s grace.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This was a school where we sat in his apartment and asked questions, and where he lectured in the temple and taught us all these things. We became different than other people. We became his \u201cconfidential devotees\u201d. As he said in one lecture, \u201cThe other day some of our confidential devotees were talking together and we all concluded that Krishna consciousness is the great need of human society.\u201d<\/p>\n

September 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Removing the Fear of Prabhupada\u2019s Presence<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The presence of Prabhupada in separation is a mystical topic. He is not there in his physical form, and yet you claim that in some way he is there. What are you saying? Are you communing with spirits? Is it something weird? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

No, it\u2019s not weird. Prabhupada\u2019s presence is very real and personal, and very tangible. In one sense, it simply means to follow the guru\u2019s instructions. But his presence is also something inconceivable to the material senses and mind.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I do not doubt that Prabhupada can be present before me, but I have some fear of coming into his presence \u2013 and I should remove that fear. My fear is that he will reprimand me and tell me to stop what I am doing; or I fear that he will not understand me. I am putting so much energy into my work and sometimes coming up with some \u201cdiscoveries.\u201d But what if Prabhupada dismissed all that I do as nonsense? That would be hard to take.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although I have some hesitation, I am trying to listen to what Prabhupada is telling me to do. One way to accomplish this is by prayerful reading \u2013 when I speak my mind and then read from Prabhupada\u2019s purport and listen to what he is saying, I try to apply it to my life. Aside from reading his books, I also desire his presence in my heart. As I am alive and talking, so Prabhupada is alive and can hear me. He can communicate to me. This should be possible for all Prabhupada\u2019s disciples who are immersed in his teachings. They know his way of thinking and speaking from his purports, conversations, and lectures; so why should it be impossible for them to meditate on Prabhupada, desire his presence, and know his will?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There is a nice statement by Prabhupada in an Isopanisad<\/i> purport about free will and initiative:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When one properly utilizes his initiative or active nature with intelligence, understanding that everything is the Lord\u2019s potency, he can revive his original consciousness, which was lost due to association with maya<\/i>, the external energy.<\/p>\n

(Isopanisad, <\/i>Mantra 4, purport)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I want Prabhupada to accept me and understand how I am trying to serve him. I want to be appreciated and understood. I want my offering to be accepted. I hope that Prabhupada will accept my service and not kick it away.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Yet I know that my offering is faulty. I should be open to any correction the spiritual master wants to give me. In any case, my offering will be accepted by Prabhupada and Krishna, and I will get the result of my action. To the degree that mine is not a perfect offering, I will have to suffer the results. In the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, Krishna invites us to surrender to Him in many ways. You take your choice, He reciprocates with you accordingly. It is up to you; He is not going to force you. But in the end, He says you should completely surrender to Him, and that is the best thing.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I hope that my proposal to serve Prabhupada is not so conditioned that Prabhupada has nowhere to enter into his relationship with me. I am praying, \u201cIf you think that what I am doing is unacceptable, please guide me to do your will. I want to serve you so that you will be proud of my contribution. I wish to see myself as small and to appreciate the services of your many devotees.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I would like to be in the presence of Prabhupada, and I hope it is possible more and more. I can enhance it by writing letters to him, by writing Prabhupada smara\u1e47am<\/i>, preaching in the temples, reading his books, staying fixed up. Be a Prabhupada man and you will always be in his presence. Go to Vrindavana, pray to his murti<\/i>, do things his way, and then you will be in his presence more and more. Speak his philosophy and do not be afraid.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Following the Saint<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Reading a biography of Saint Francis of Assisi by Johannes Jorgensen, I was reminded of Srila Prabhupada and his relationship with his disciples. The biographer tells us of the days when Francis was a teacher \u201cnot only in word but also in action.\u201d His first disciples were also very eager to follow him and please their spiritual master.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The biographer writes, \u201cEveryone who has had the happiness in his youth to have lived near a highly exalted personality will therefore understand that a young Brother named Ricerius had acquired the conviction that the good will of Francis was the infallible sign of the satisfaction of God.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am struck by the phrase, \u201cEveryone who has had the happiness in his youth to have lived near a highly exalted personality \u2026\u201d What are the odds that one will be born in the human species in Kali-yuga and get the opportunity to meet the pure devotee of Lord Krishna? It is very rare. To meet him when one is young adds to the possibility of taking to Krishna consciousness as soon as possible, and of doing it with the ardor of a young man or woman.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am reminded of another phrase by the 19th<\/sup> century Romantic poet, William Wordsworth, about the French Revolution. To the Romantic poets, the French revolution was an emblem of freedom for humanity. And so the poet wrote, \u201cBliss it was to have lived at that time, and to have been young was heaven!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We may curse our fate for being born in Kali-yuga when we hear of the piety of previous ages. But as the Bhagavatam<\/i> states, there is one great quality in Kali-yuga which redeems the ocean of voices \u2013 the chanting of Hare Krishna. But the holy name cannot manifest itself unless it is carried by the pure chanter.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although we Lower East Side boys were cynical toward middle-class American values, yet in our own way we were innocent and idealistic. When you meet a person like Srila Prabhupada, then youth and idealism are wed to a tangible goal. So it was bliss and heaven that Prabhupada came to us while we were young, and that he took us with him to chant in the park.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Francis\u2019s biography gives us a sketch of Brother John the Simple, who had a tendency to do whatever he saw Saint Francis do.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When therefore Saint Francis was in the church or other place to pray, he watched him closely so as to follow all his ways and movements. And when Saint Francis bent his knee or lifted his hands to heaven, or spit, or signed, then he did exactly the same.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some of our behavior was in the copying mood, such as imitating Prabhupada\u2019s Indian accent and uttering his ecstatic sound \u201cMmmmmm.\u201d To outsiders, we may have seemed like copycats wearing tilaka<\/i>, dressing like Prabhupada and shaving our heads. But we were actually following the standard Vaisnava methods. And Prabhupada did not force us to do so.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When we read of John the Simple, we think that there is something favorable to be said for the affectionate desire to follow the saint in everything he does. It is certainly more attractive than limiting the saint\u2019s influence in your life so that you follow only a few general principles. Nowadays we even hear some initiated disciples say, \u201cPrabhupada was a great saint, but I no longer follow his instructions.\u201d Instead of that, give us the devotion of Brother John the Simple!<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By Srila Prabhupada\u2019s natural humility and strict parampara<\/i> teaching, we can now combine our worship for him with the right understanding of the Supreme Personality of Godhead who receives all our service.<\/p>\n

September 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Hearing Prabhupada Face to Face<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I reflect on specific aspects of Vaisnava philosophy, I often recall the time when I first heard these teachings from Prabhupada. Hearing face to face while he was present produced a special impression. For example, I was near Prabhupada in his room when he said, \u201cHow can they say there is no God? It is a ridiculous argument. For example, if a man goes to a doctor and the doctor examines him and finds that his vital organs are working, his metabolism is in order, his pulse, his heartbeat, his blood circulation, his breathing, everything is working \u2013 if after discovering this the doctor concludes, \u201cMy dear sir, you are dead,\u201d \u2013 this statement is nonsense, absurd.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cIn a similar way, if we see that the universe is working, the planets are in orbit, the sun is shining, the law of gravity and other natural laws are strictly being observed, and everything is going on \u2013 and if we conclude, \u2018There is no intelligence behind it: God is dead,\u2019 \u2013 it is the same absurd statement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Prabhupada said this, I was convinced. What convinces one person may not convince another, but when you are convinced, you know it. You are fully satisfied and ready to advocate that which you are convinced about.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lord Krishna says, \u201cIgnorant and faithless persons who doubt the revealed scriptures cannot obtain God consciousness; they fall down. For the doubting soul there is happiness neither in this life nor the next.\u201d (Bg<\/i>. 4.40) And yet we are plagued with doubts. When we gain a strong foundation of faith and conviction, it is the best possible thing that we can have.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Some of it is gained gradually. We have to protect it by hearing and chanting. But first there must be a time in which this bhakti<\/i> knowledge is rightly and deeply planted within the heart. Prabhupada was the planter \u2013 and he still is, through his books and by his devotees in parampara.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Depending Deeply on Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Dear Srila Prabhupada,<\/p>\n

today I heard you on tape.<\/p>\n

Your voice was weak,<\/p>\n

but your logic very forceful;<\/p>\n

you were intolerant with maya<\/i>.<\/p>\n

You said Indian culture<\/p>\n

is \u201chopeless\u201d due to \u201cmisleaders.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe do not care<\/p>\n

if they do not agree with us.<\/p>\n

If Krishna agrees we are satisfied.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Listening to lectures, reading \u2013<\/p>\n

this all counts as meditation,<\/p>\n

yet I feel absence.<\/p>\n

I have no choice: either I <\/p>\n

remember and talk,<\/p>\n

or the absence and forgetfulness<\/p>\n

get worse. So I talk Prabhupada katha<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When you are bankrupt,<\/p>\n

even a dream becomes an asset.<\/p>\n

Something stirred within you,<\/p>\n

it was ambiguous<\/p>\n

but with a definite impression \u2013<\/p>\n

Prabhupada in your dream.<\/p>\n

Did I dream last night,<\/p>\n

but immediately forget?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There are lean days.<\/p>\n

But you are able to think,<\/p>\n

\u201cI am in his movement.\u201d<\/p>\n

You go to your duties,<\/p>\n

as if just performing them<\/p>\n

is enough. Morning lectures,<\/p>\n

bowing down before pictures,<\/p>\n

singing \u201cGurvastakam\u201d<\/i> \u2026<\/p>\n

There are lean days.<\/p>\n

At least they remind me<\/p>\n

that I hope for better.<\/p>\n

Even a moment within a day,<\/p>\n

to serve and rejoice<\/p>\n

in the presence of Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 8, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As We Knew Him<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In discussions among devotees, I have heard that the Prabhupada we knew is temporary and we will not see him again in that form. Only those who go back to Godhead will see him again, in his eternal liberated form. As the Six Gosvamis have spiritual forms \u2013 and therefore Rupa Gosvami is known as Rupa Manjari \u2013 so the liberated spiritual master may be seen in his spiritual form by his liberated followers.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

These topics are beyond me, although I accept what is stated in the sastra<\/i>. But on an emotional level, I do not like to hear it put so bluntly, that I will not see Prabhupada again. Perhaps some things are better not spoken about, because we do not realize them. When we try to speak, it does not come out right.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This much I can say: Prabhupada will continue to live for the people of this world, at least for the next ten thousand years. Even Lord Caitanya\u2019s mercy will not be manifest after ten thousand years, because then, by the Supreme Lord\u2019s will, the Kali-yuga will set in full force. But as long as human civilization is capable of receiving Krishna\u2019s grace and Lord Caitanya\u2019s grace, Prabhupada will be celebrated as the great devotee of the Lord, the first one to effectively spread bhakti<\/i> all over the planet.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I will content myself by knowing that any memories we can preserve of Prabhupada will endure for the people during the time when a Golden Age is possible. And so we will go on remembering Prabhupada as we knew him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I say \u201cas we knew him\u201d, but much of Prabhupada\u2019s identity is beyond us, even in his form as a sannayasi<\/i> pure devotee. Vaisnavera kriya mudra vijne na bhujhaya<\/i>; no one can understand the mind of the Vaisnava and the nature of his activities. But as far as we know Prabhupada lila<\/i>, we can recall it with assurance that it is lasting and spiritual.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Supreme Lord and His liberated devotee may appear within this world for some time and then return to the spiritual world, where the devotee may take on a different form. Only if we serve Srila Prabhupada in the form as we knew him will we be qualified to understand further spiritual transformations. If we jump over the Prabhupada we knew and as he taught us in his books, if we try to imagine some other Prabhupada \u2013 then we will never reach the spiritual world. By the grace of the guru one can transfer to the eternal world, where Krishna will arrange that we may recognize our spiritual master. The relationship is eternal.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

1966 Wisps<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Standing in the storefront, wearing those gold-colored turtleneck jerseys, Prabhupada standing beside us smiling. He is youthful in his own way. ISKCON is youthful and our association is new. When we were standing together I felt very happy, relishing the essence of a lively guru-disciple relationship.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada led us in a dance step. He did the step and we followed him around his room. It was in front of his desk where we usually sat. He taught us two varieties of dance steps: one quick and one slow. Two steps per beat or one step per beat. You put your left foot in front and draw it back; then you put your right foot in front and draw it back, and while doing that you move forward and your arms are upraised. There were at least three of us walking behind him as he taught us.<\/p>\n

September 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I Want to Celebrate All the Things in My Life Until Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I want to celebrate all the things in my life that led up to my meeting Srila Prabhupada. I am thankful to everything that happened. Thankful mainly that I survived. Recently I started thinking of the places I had lived in around 1964, 1965; rehashing. After I got out of the Navy, I rented a tiny, slum apartment with no hot water down on Suffolk Street. After six months there, a real estate agent came to the door and said I had to leave; they were going to tear the building down. He helped me find another place, which was a real dump. It was one block north of Houston Street, more into the stream of things, in a predominantly Puerto Rican neighbourhood. It was a basement apartment without lights.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That summer I was like a young boy playing in a treehouse. I played at being a Lower East Side hipster with a part-time job; smoking marijuana, wasting my youth, very unhappy but playing a game of \u201cforget by getting high\u201d. Once again the real estate agent came to the door and said that I had to get out; they were going to use the building for something else.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was so burned out from taking LSD and being hurt by \u201cfriends\u201d that I moved back in with my parents on Staten Island. After that I got a job in the city on the Lower East Side. Then I almost killed myself during an LSD trip by jumping out a window. I broke both my heels falling from the fourth floor. After six weeks in casts I moved back again to Staten Island, to my own apartment. While still hobbling around on crutches, I decided that I wanted to get back into Manhattan where the action was. Staten Island was too far for me to travel to my job on Fifth Street in Manhattan. Actually, I was strategically placing myself for what was going to happen very soon \u2013 but I did not know it.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I remember the night I moved from Staten Island. I had some furniture from my boyhood room, a bed and a bureau, and I had to move it. I called up a freelance mover in Manhattan and they came and picked me up. I did not tell the landlord, but just checked out and brought two cats with me.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On the ferry I tried to act urbane and hip to impress the guys in the cab of the truck. It was night-time when we pulled into Suffolk Street. And there it was \u2013 the congested, steaming, passionate city. The air was filled with Spanish accents, music, and a violent atmosphere. As we pulled in front of the building one of the movers said, \u201cWhy are you moving here? You had such a nice, quiet place.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The other mover said, \u201cHe wants to be part of the action, right<\/i>? Staten Island is dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I especially remember that moment with the two movers. The first guy\u2019s remark had really hit it on the head: \u201cWhy is this young guy moving back to the city?\u201d And as I relive that frightening and yet courageous move that I was making to try to get back into the action, searching for whatever I thought I could find in the city, suddenly I recall that that was the apartment I was in when I met Prabhupada!<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If I had met an astrologer back then, and if he had been accurate in his reading, he would have looked at me knowingly and said, \u201cOh, you are about to meet a very special person, and he is going to make a momentous change in your life!\u201d But I had no such anticipation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That apartment on Suffolk Street, and the nearness of it to the time when I would meet Prabhupada \u2013 the fact that it was the place where I lived when I first met him and began to chant Hare Krishna under his direction \u2013 makes it very special in my personal history. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My Life Until Swamiji (con\u2019d)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I\u2019m so happy to have met Prabhupada that I\u2019m willing to be grateful to everything that happened to me. Somehow or other, by Providence, it must have all been leaning toward that which happened. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even if events seemed to be wrong, with no connection to meeting Prabhupada, still they were part of the flow that led to meeting him. So how can I be resentful?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

For example, in 1962 I dropped out of Naval Officer Training School and became a sailor. I could resent that, or be unhappy that my father put me into the Navy. But since my life led to meeting Prabhupada, I am grateful. If I had become a Navy officer, maybe my life would have been different. I might not have been working on the Lower East Side and might not have had the attitude of a seeker.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

If I hadn\u2019t jumped out the window, if I hadn\u2019t met friends who hurt me, I might not have been in that place at that time. I might not have been the person who gratefully accepted the prasadam<\/i> and the teachings of His Divine Grace.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada, I do not know if you remember how I was when you saw me. There were numerous people coming to see you, and they were all strangers to you. Maybe you do not remember what I was like. Maybe you do not care about it. The main thing is that you picked me up. There is no need to remember how wretched I was. But I just want to say: you knew me from the beginning. Thank you.<\/p>\n

September 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Short Walk to the Spiritual World<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I remember the walk from my apartment on First Street to Srila Prabhupada at Twenty-six Second Avenue. I rented that apartment just after I met Srila Prabhupada, as a way to start a new life. I wanted to be like a yogi, a clean devotee, and so I kept the apartment bare. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s see \u2013 around 7 P.M. I start out to see Swamiji. I\u2019ve come home from work, taken a shower and changed from my office clothes to black chinos, a short-sleeved shirt, and dirty tennis shoes. I brush my short hair forward and start out, down the stairs and out the front door. Facing the tall fence across the street, the playground with handball courts and basketball courts, I turn right and walk half a block up First Street heading west to Second Avenue. Tenement buildings are on the right. Puerto Ricans, Ukrainians, office workers and a few hippies. Coming around the corner on Second Avenue, there\u2019s the Mobil gas station, and then you face 26 Second Avenue. I\u2019m 25\u00bd years old.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I\u2019m looking forward to seeing Swamiji. He\u2019s a new and interesting person I\u2019ve met. Very exotic. Full of unknown things that I want to hear. So I go to the door of the storefront, open it, and there\u2019s a hallway ahead and stairs. I go to the right, past the stairs, down the hallway and into the courtyard. There\u2019s a birdbath, a tree, and some green. It\u2019s summer. Then I face the back building and look up to see if I can see Swamiji through his window. I go up the flight of stairs. I made the journey and I\u2019m going to see him. Thinking what it will be like, what he will say to me and the others. Just through that door. Go in and have a seat. There are already people there, sitting in his room. He\u2019s in the middle of a conversation. Just go there and be in his presence. I don\u2019t have to do anything but listen to the conversations and notice how I\u2019m feeling. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My imagination invites me to be there with Swamiji in 1966, but I\u2019m here in 2016. Fifty years later, looking back, it seems so long ago. As soon as I speak about it I encounter the same \u201ccanned memories\u201d, which I often repeat. But they are reliable memories and I am trying to open the cans and see what is actually in them.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

What Would Prabhupada Do?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We often think, \u201cWhat would Prabhupada do or say in a situation like this?\u201d And as the Bhaktivedanta Archives surprise us with all of Srila Prabhupada\u2019s spoken and written words, we can push a computer button and bring up what he has said on \u201cwalks in the woods,\u201d \u201cwhen the body feels cold,\u201d \u201cnail-biting\u201d \u2013 almost anything. But even Prabhupada\u2019s instructions have to be applied (as they were by him) according to time, place and circumstance. We must ponder on the meaning. If Prabhupada said the woodland walks are all right provided you think of Krishna, then should we justify all our time walking in the woods? If we find a statement by Prabhupada that woods-walking is useless, should we give it up for all time? We have to think and feel what he meant \u2013 and what it means to us.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We want to surrender to his order. That means being disciplined by him; don\u2019t invent or interpret the parampara<\/i>: k\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47astu bhagav\u0101n svayam<\/i>. \u201cIf there\u2019s no surrendering,\u201d Prabhupada says, \u201cthen there\u2019s no beginning even, what to speak of advancement. Disciple means one who accepts discipline \u2013 as soon as the discipline is broken, then everything is lost.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But surrender also means love. You don\u2019t deposit yourself like a \u201csurrendered stone\u201d at your guru\u2019s lotus feet \u2013 you grow as a person and live for him and his mission. You attain your maturity \u2013 you turn to Krishna within, you try your best \u2013 and it\u2019s all offered to guru and Krishna. Your offering should be thoughtful, painstaking \u2013 a garland of handpicked wildflowers, an artistically arranged plate of fruits, an innovative way to preach. \u201cWhatever you do, do it for Me.\u201d And as you work to make a thoughtful project on his behalf, you always stand ready to be told, \u201cThat\u2019s wrong. Do it over.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 14, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Diving Into Kirtana<\/i> With Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji says, \u201cLet us have kirtana<\/i>,\u201d and he starts playing the drum. He sings solo for quite a few minutes. He begins with \u201cvande\u2019ha\u1e41<\/i>\u201d and builds up. You become a little anxious, hoping that the guests won\u2019t go away. If they can just wait, everything will be great. But even if they don\u2019t like it, it\u2019s great. Finally the Swami begins to sing the Hare Krishna mantra. We look up to him and sing in response, \u201cHare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The room is filled with the kirtana<\/i>, with no energy left over for anything else. Most of the guests are singing. By giving yourself to the singing, you go out of yourself. Swamiji says this is cosmic consciousness. You can do it without taking any drugs. Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. We chant, then Swamiji chants. His head moves slightly from side to side. He has very nice fingernails, cuticles, half-moons, and you can see all that as he plays, his hands and fingers working on the drum while he sings.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After the kirtana<\/i>, there is a transition before he starts to speak. As people quiet down, he opens the book and starts. But some people leave because they don\u2019t want to hear the philosophy. The mood becomes intellectual philosophy, argument, spiritual knowledge. Swamiji explains that the chanting is Krishna, and Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. It\u2019s all described in Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. As he speaks, everything becomes clear and defined: Sri Krishna is the Supreme Person according to the previous acaryas<\/i>. \u201cKrishna,\u201d \u201cVrindavana\u201d, \u201cGoloka,\u201d \u201cBhagavad-gita\u201d <\/i>\u2013 everything is explained.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I faithfully heard, believing in what he said. Accepting the arguments I tried to grasp the philosophy, the language; although sometimes missing the finer points. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna consciousness was substantial knowledge. It could be reached only by devotion. There were glimpses \u2013 that you could actually obtain pure bhakti<\/i> and live forever with Lord Krishna. The Swami explained things which no one else talked about; that life is filled with problems and miseries that no one can solve: birth, death, disease and old age \u2026 The atma<\/i> is free and you don\u2019t die. We were sharing and accepting what he said. I couldn\u2019t directly experience much of it, but when he said, \u201cIt is such a nice thing\u201d \u2013 we all respected that he was in an elevated consciousness beyond us. He was a self-realized soul. He was far-out because he had so much devotion and realization of Krishna. And that was the difference between us. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Power of Faithful Hearing from One\u2019s Spiritual Master<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When Krishna appeared on the battlefield of Kuruksetra, He was about ninety years old Prabhupada said. By that time in His life, Krishna had married 16,108 wives. Each of His wives had ten children by the Lord, and each of those children married and had their own children as well. So Krishna was a great grandfather, with a family numbering in the millions. And yet He looked like a beautiful youth, no more than sixteen or twenty years old. Whenever I hear \u201cfantastic\u201d details of Krishna\u2019s life, I put myself in the position of an innocent person who never heard of Krishna before. \u201cWhat will they think?\u201d And then I remember how I first thought when I heard of Krishna and His wives and gopis<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

How did Srila Prabhupada convince us? He did it on the basis of perfect, Vedic authority. He also gave the evidence of powerful scholars and sages who accept everything that Krishna says and does. Prabhupada explained: Since Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, nothing is impossible for Him. Why be astounded that He had 16,000 wives, since He lives in the hearts of all the innumerable living entities?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have become faithful in accepting the way that Prabhupada thinks about Krishna. When I hear that Krishna married 16,000 wives I accept it calmly, because I accept Srila Prabhupada. I can empathize, but reject the reductionist\u2019s explanation of Krishna consciousness. I can defend it myself against the atheists. And yet I admit to the simple faith: I accept Krishna as God because Prabhupada said that He is the Personality of Godhead.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The acceptance of spiritual truth, such as I\u2019ve mentioned about Krishna and His super-human lila<\/i>, is sometimes given the name \u201cdogma\u201d. The dictionary definition of dogma is \u201ca philosophical tenet; a theological doctrine authoritatively inserted; a principle or belief.\u201d In ordinary usage, dogma is derided as opposed to the truth, which is free and dynamic. Dogma implies dullness and fear. The religionist is supposed to be afraid to even think, lest he begin to lose his faith. However, there is another way to look at it. It\u2019s not wrong that some conclusions are settled once and for all. Even Descartes, in attempting to dismantle all dogmatic beliefs, arrived at his \u201cI think, therefore I am.\u201d Everyone works from a preference, even if it\u2019s \u201cnothing is certain\u201d or \u201cnothing exists\u201d. We accept the theistic proofs of sastra<\/i>, and we have learned how to defend them. More important, by following them we gain direct realization of Krishna, His name, His form, His loving service.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada criticized the speculations of an imperfect philosopher. But he encouraged us to think, meditate, worship. It is not dogmatic. We are not afraid to look and think. But for subjects that are beyond the human jurisdiction, we can take guidance from the Lord and His pure devotee. When I meditate on Prabhupada or Sri Krishna, it is they who are meditating within me; just as when you pray, it is Krishna and the spiritual master who are praying with you. This is faithful meditation. And when the devotee becomes confused or doubtful, he places an inquiry before the Lord: This is my doubt, O Krishna, and but for Yourself, I have found no one who can answer it. <\/p>\n

September 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Offering Obeisances to the Spiritual Master<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The divine form of my master, Srila Prabhupada, frequently appears in my art. On occasion, I draw or paint devotional pictures of Swamiji and me together at 26 Second Avenue. There is one of me sitting in front of Swamiji and looking at him intently, prayerfully. I was surprised when I drew it, but then it made me realize how drawings could create their own life, a new possibility in my relationship with Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In this painting Prabhupada looks like a murti, his skin golden. He\u2019s not looking at me. He seems absorbed in his kirtana<\/i>. Or perhaps he is looking past me at the others who have assembled in the storefront. That\u2019s the freedom of the artwork \u2013 that you can place yourself right in front of your Gurudeva, intent on getting his mercy, looking up to him with worshipable eyes, trying to penetrate his solemnity, his peace, become absorbed in it. One of the reasons I attempt to worship my spiritual master in this way is that my love for Prabhupada is the beginning and essence of my spiritual life. Devotees sometimes ask why I put so much of myself in my writing (and drawing). What can I say? I exist. Prabhupada told me that the feeling \u201cI am something\u201d is not wrong. I simply have to understand who I actually am. Then he taught me that I was Krishna\u2019s eternal servant, and although I exist in a false conception, I exist in a real conception too. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Submission to Prabhupada was not a manifestation of false ego, but of Prabhupada\u2019s mercy. Therefore these drawings are not of my false ego, but of a person about to serve, who first came before his spiritual master to beg permission and acceptance. Besides that, Prabhupada liked to see me. He liked to see all his disciples. He didn\u2019t think we were ugly, because he could see past the body to the soul. He was interested not in our expertise, but in our hearts.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

With the Swami in the Temple<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We like to remember the simplicity and innocence of those days at 26 Second Avenue when Swamiji chanted Hare Krishna surrounded by wild Americans who he had turned into ecstatic chanters of the holy name. We were crude, but Prabhupada refined us little by little.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Would I like to go back to those days? Perhaps I am holding on to some romantic conception of myself and my relationship with Prabhupada. I had so many material desires then. I must be in better shape now. I really wouldn\u2019t want to go back, at least not as I am now. But those days were full of the freshness of hope and faith and Krishna conscious spirit that we had in 1966. Krishna consciousness in New York City \u2026 I was there! Swamiji was there! It happened, by Krishna\u2019s grace. The spirit of 26 Second Avenue was summed up by Prabhupada: \u201cThese boys, you will see that they are practically thinking of Krishna twenty-four hours a day. We have so many engagements. We have manufactured engagements. Someone is typing; someone is editing; someone is writing; someone is distributing or dispatching; someone is cooking.\u201d I don\u2019t know whether we really can ever go back, but ultimately that \u201cgoing back\u201d means returning to the spiritual world. That is the meaning of 26 Second Avenue. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lunch With Swami: Eat more!<\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji looks thin, but he is happy. Panca-tattva is on the same table. The boys are scruffy. Is that Brahmananda with the belly? Is that Acyutananda with the long hair? Who\u2019s the guy with the anchor tattoo? I don\u2019t know. You wonder who will come to lunch. Who will serve the cap\u0101t\u012bs<\/i>? There had to be a few girls there, too \u2013 that\u2019s how it was. Swamiji always sat in the center, the glowing source, our invitation to spiritual life. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Can I capture in my mind the actual aromas steaming from the pots? I can only draw a few lines to indicate steam. You should note though, that I can convey the aromas of our happiness at eating such hot rice, such subtly spiced cap\u0101t\u012bs<\/i> \u2026 We had never even imagined such food, such cap\u0101t\u012bs<\/i> from India. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cEat more,\u201d Prabhupada invites. \u201cTake seconds and thirds.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

People are wearing tilak<\/i> in this picture, and some have red beads. We eat with our right hands (and no spoons).<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We\u2019re still eating Krishna prasadam<\/i>. Now, of course, we know we shouldn\u2019t eat so much. But those were permissive days. It was better to eat this food than to go out and eat lumps of sin \u2013 food not offered to Krishna, non-vegetarian food, dirty food, junk food. This was food for the spirit; Prabhupada had offered it to Lord Caitanya. You can see His glowing lotus feet in this picture.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lunch with Swamiji was at one o\u2019clock. He cooked in his small kitchenette. Later, his boys cooked. A dozen or more of us would come. At first we would sit in his room with him, but after the noon meal attracted more people, we would have lunch downstairs and Swamiji wouldn\u2019t come. It was very special in the earliest days to sit in his room with him and have lunch. The room was warmed by the prasadam<\/i> and the heat from the near-by kitchenette, which showed signs of the recent explosion of hot chaunce meeting hot metal. The room was especially warmed by Swamiji and his \u201cEat more!<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Flooded By Memories of Swamiji<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I experienced a unique, intense moment of separation after I had met Srila Prabhupada for only a few weeks. With his permission, I paid a visit to my parents at their summer bungalow in Avalon, New Jersey. I arrived at their home in the evening and went immediately for a swim in the canal in their back yard. As I floated in the water and looked up at the stars, I was overwhelmed at the presence of Prabhupada, hearing his voice and the things he said, which he had been teaching us. After having associated with him day after day, I felt it coming through me, all the Prabhupada expressions. There I was in the water, looking up at the sky which was so very far away, and without calling for it, I was surcharged with remembering Prabhupada. I understood, \u201cSwamiji has gone \u2026 Swamiji has really<\/i> gone deeply into my life, and it\u2019s very strong!\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have told this story before and I have written about it. There is no harm in the repetition, provided each time you remember it, you do it by going to a genuine source of feeling and thought. So I want to be open to those canned memories and see them as they actually occurred. To do it one has to enter an altered state of consciousness. When Maitreya asked Uddhava to speak about Krishna, or when Pariksit asked Sukadeva certain questions about Krishna, the response was not canned. Rather, Uddhava and Sukadeva felt such ecstasy by thinking about Krishna that they could not even speak: <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On the inquiry by Vidura about Krishna, Uddhava appeared to be awakened from slumber. He appeared to regret that he had forgotten the lotus feet of the Lord. Thus he again remembered the lotus feet of the Lord and remembered all his transcendental loving service unto him, and by so doing, he felt the same ecstasy that he used to feel in the presence of the Lord. Because the Lord is absolute, there is no difference between His remembrance and His personal presence. Thus Uddhava remained completely silent for a moment, but then appeared to be going deeper and deeper into ecstasy. (Bhag. <\/i>3.2.4)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

An active student of Srila Prabhupada might see my attempts as idle, but what can I say? It is not idle. I am fighting for the survival of dear memories, and refusing to allow my everyday consciousness to deteriorate into a watered-down following of Srila Prabhupada. Of course, Prabhupada can be very heavy as the breaker of illusion. So when I say I want to remember him, I want to open myself up to that too.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

September 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Japa<\/i> Lesson<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji used to sit with us in the morning and say, \u201cChant one round.\u201d Then he would give us a japa<\/i> lesson. This is what it was like to be with him. In the off-moments when he wasn\u2019t lecturing, he would simply sit with us, leaning over his table and allowing us to approach him to learn the art of chanting. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We didn\u2019t have bead bags in those days, and when we chanted together, Swamiji took his beads out of his bag and held them in his hands. We hung our beads around our necks as we chanted. We wore them out on the streets too. Those red beads became the mark of the Hare Krishna chanters.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In his lectures he implored the audience to chant. He promised peace and prosperity, and he assured us that it didn\u2019t cost anything. He begged us to chant the holy name because Krishna is non-different from His name. He told us we could chant anywhere \u2013 in the factory, in the subway, in hell. How could we have chanted without Swamiji\u2019s japa<\/i> lessons? He was happy to give them to us. More than anything, he wanted us to chant. This is how he hoped to satisfy his guru and all the acaryas<\/i>. It had to start with us practicing sadhana<\/i>.<\/p>\n

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September 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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A View of Tompkins Square Park<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Try to capture the panorama of the harinama<\/i> in Tompkins Square Park: happy, simple faces. Ecstasy. Black man plays a wooden recorder. Girls in dark glasses. People dancing according to their own style, devotees dancing the Swami Step.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji loved the way young Americans took to chanting. He said, \u201cYou Americans are able to capture a good thing.\u201d It was our innocence, our willingness to try something new despite the risks. When we applied those tendencies to Krishna consciousness, they became valuable. We didn\u2019t care that our conservative neighbors looked at us askance. The Swami was a good thing. Why didn\u2019t anybody in Straight Square Authority swing with the Swami? We just wanted to play the music.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He accepted us the way we were: raw youth, flirting faces, dancing bodies, most of us standing while he sat, the vibration of his drum punctuating our movements. He was not lost in the sea of American youth. It is not that he started chanting and later someone else took over and sang rock-n-roll. It started and ended with him in control, glorifying Krishna. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

These images stand by themselves, childish as they are in their happiness and simplicity. As I describe them I try to reach back through my complicated present, my seventy-seven year old mind and body, through everything the institution has been through, everything I have since seen and done and realized and thought, to remember that simple happiness. Those days were not false or sentimental; we were really singing and dancing in the park, and as the New York Times reported, finding ecstasies during those long, warm October afternoons. It never rained on us as we distributed our \u201cStay High Forever\u201d flyers. <\/p>\n

September 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u201cAttend Swami Bhaktivedanta Lecture on Bhagavad-gita<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

On a Bristol board in my upstairs art studio, I create posters featuring Swamiji: \u201cAttend Swami Bhaktivedanta\u2019s Lectures on Bhagavad-gita<\/i> \u2013 26 Second Avenue, M.T.W., 7 P.M.\u201d The drawings are crude. As disciples we tried to bring people to his lectures, that\u2019s why I use the imperative case: \u201cAttend\u201d. I don\u2019t say \u201cPlease Attend\u201d. Don\u2019t be left out.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t make posters like this in 1966. I can\u2019t make posters like this now because Swami Bhaktivedanta is not lecturing. But I did make them, and I don\u2019t think they are outdated. \u201cAttend.\u201d We only have to change the address to wherever we are speaking Swamiji\u2019s words. (Nowadays we don\u2019t even have to change the address, of course \u2013 26 Second Avenue is still there.) I\u2019ve often said that my first impression of Swamiji was that he was like Buddha. In my drawings, the classical lines of his form are similar to any Buddha, any holy man, any ecstatic chanter. Yet he is so perfectly himself. That\u2019s how spiritual life is, isn\u2019t it? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

These posters wouldn\u2019t make sense to someone if they were stuck in delicatessen windows on the Lower East Side. They are insider posters. I can imagine hanging such posters up in my apartment on First Street where the devotees used to hang out. \u201cSixteen rounds, four rules, no sense gratification.\u201d The posters say Ravi Shankar and Shakespeare are now in a class with rock-n-roll. Don\u2019t do anything unless it pleases Krishna. A reminder.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We all need reminders. When we look up and catch ourselves, we remember Swamiji. Businessmen remind themselves with words like \u201cTHINK<\/i>\u201d and \u201cTIME MEANS MONEY<\/i>\u201d. We remind ourselves by asking: \u201cIs this for Krishna or for me?\u201d I drew my face in because I was there in 1966. You\u2019ll see that I look happy in the inset. That\u2019s because I\u2019m still practicing Krishna consciousness by Prabhupada\u2019s grace. I am happy.<\/p>\n

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September 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Radha and Krishna<\/p>\n

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It\u2019s not that whatever we did in 1966 is an ideal to which we should all aspire, but it was something. The devotees were closely linked to whatever Swamiji wanted and that was also true of course of the artists. Those 1966 paintings have become the foundation of a tradition. They are spiritual.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Most of the original artwork was painted by Jadurani. She wasn\u2019t the first artist \u2013 there was Haridas (Harvey Cohen) and Jagannath (James Green). But she was the first to take it up full time. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even in the beginning, her pictures weren\u2019t as crude as the ones I have done. We were introduced to Radha and Krishna as forms right from the beginning when we saw James Green\u2019s painting of Radha and Krishna. I also found a picture of Radha and Krishna in a copy of Narada Bhakti Sutra<\/i>. Swamiji approved it. As I have been trying to go back to 26 Second Avenue, I have, for the first time in my life, dared to paint Radha and Krishna in a serious way. I drew Radha and Krishna and was afraid it might be blasphemy, or like the Godless impersonal versions in the Delhi airport where Visnu forms have no face. \u201cModern Art.\u201d But I want to draw the Supreme Lord in affection as a tiny son draws his father \u2013 not so good, but with love. Best if a viewer smiles, knows I felt love, but couldn\u2019t execute it for lack of expertise.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Once I had a moment alone with Prabhupada at the Ananda Ashram. I took out Narada Bhakti Sutra<\/i> and asked, \u201cSwamiji, is this painting of Radha and Krishna all right?\u201d He looked at it and said, \u201cYes.\u201d I went out and made a dozen copies for the devotees.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was private. We couldn\u2019t understand his mind. He was often silent. There were barriers we couldn\u2019t cross. It created a gap. When I asked him if this painting was all right, he simply said, \u201cYes.\u201d That was all. Then he was silent, as he often was. <\/p>\n

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September 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u201cSwami\u2019s Flock Chants in Park to Find Ecstasy\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In my travels as a sannyasi<\/i>, people would often ask, \u201cCould you tell us more what is was like when Prabhupada went to sing in the park in New York City? Did he bring a carpet? Were you there? What was it like? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

That was always a nice set-up. I would say something like, \u201cYou mentioned a carpet? Yes, there was a carpet. We had an old carpet that someone had given us. We started out about ten or twelve devotees along with Prabhupada, and we walked to the park. I told how we went through the streets and people hooted and jeered. Prabhupada was sober and transcendental to it. After all, Prabhupada had said that he was a \u201cCalcutta boy.\u201d In his boyhood, he had seen hoodlums stabbing people, prostitutes on the street corners, and had even run away from a man who tried to kill him during a Hindu-Muslim riot. He was not fazed by a few hoots.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I said that once we got to the park, we were a little shy. I thought that some of my old friends might come to see me, and I was embarrassed. But when Prabhupada began to sing the names of the previous acaryas<\/i>, and then Hare Krishna \u2013 we sat close to him. He was like a mother and father. Just as little children stay close to their parents when they are afraid, we stayed close to our spiritual parent. We sat with him on the rug, inside his world, which he had created within the \u201cbig\u201d world of Tompkins Square Park. I told about the Ukrainians, Polish, old people, and younger Puerto Ricans who lived in that neighborhood, and middle class American hippies who had come from different parts of the country to live there. The hippies came around with flutes and drums and guitars. Prabhupada sang strongly for an hour and a half, gave a little speech, and then sang again. Then we walked back to the storefront. Many guests came with us and we distributed cups of sweet rice to them. Then Prabhupada went up to his room and talked some more. I told everyone how the Swami encouraged us to get up and dance. Brahmananda and Acyutananda used to do it regularly. One time Prabhupada looked at me and gestured that I should get up and dance. At first I wasn\u2019t sure that he meant me and so I turned around and looked behind me. I looked at him again. Yes, he meant me. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I was hesitant to dance because I had seen one of my old college friends in the crowd in the park and they would see me with my arms up and dancing with the Swami. What would they think? What would they talk about among themselves? There I was, dancing in the park to this religious Hindu chant. But then I thought, \u201cI don\u2019t care what they think. I am Swami\u2019s boy, Swami\u2019s man, and I am going to get up and dance. It is blissful and I will show my bliss. I will do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

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September 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Recapturing the Wonder of the Early Days<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the early days of surrendering to the Swami, we believed the sastra<\/i> of whatever the Swami said just because he said it. And we were attracted to his teachings not because an institution taught us the \u201cofficial truth\u201d, but because we were very pleased and enthused to hear from him. We found his writing style exciting. All of this wonder is still available. But with time and repetition, we tend to become familiar and read only as duty. I notice that when I do read more carefully, and when I seek a rendezvous with Prabhupada and Krishna, then the vital appreciation comes back. Recalling the early days may also be helpful, reminding us how Krishna consciousness was so personal and entertaining. If we do not keep up the process for staying alive and awake to the original nectar, we may fall dead in spiritual life, even without knowing it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Our enthusiasm for hearing philosophy from Srila Prabhupada in the early days was not without sound basis. We understood that the Absolute Truth did not jive totally with mundane science or material reality. There was a higher principle of truth coming by the descending process. We accepted this principle with vigor and enthusiasm. It is probably a fact that our innocence has been lost over the years. It has been replaced realistically with strong foundations of knowledge and faith in Prabhupada. ISKCON continues to take Srila Prabhupada\u2019s statements very seriously, but we have also become \u201csadder but wiser\u201d in seeing our inability to carry out those instructions. We have also become gradually aware of the many kinds of philosophies and groups who are in opposition to what Prabhupada is saying. As Krishna consciousness has spread, it has been challenged more, and there has been more counter-reply. Thus we become more aware that our appreciation of Prabhupada clashes with material reality. We are concerned with \u201cpresenting\u201d Prabhupada in a palatable way and we are more careful with our logical presentation. We also sometimes assume that we have now fully grasped Prabhupada\u2019s message; now we are more interested in tracking down the details and working out the apparent contradictions in what he said. This kind of sober scholarship can sometimes become boring.<\/p>\n

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September 26, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Prabhupada: A Public Yet Private Presence<\/p>\n

Is Prabhupada worship public or private? It\u2019s both. Sometimes it is shared among the devotees, as when everyone gathers for the Prabhupada guru- puja<\/i> and sings the same prayers. There should be agreed-upon conclusions as to what Prabhupada meant in his teachings and what he intended for his followers. So what is the basic <\/i>message of Prabhupada? The very first thing he said to us was, “Chant Hare Krsna and be happy.” And for reading, Bhagavad-gita<\/i> and Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> are all we need. Live with devotees, cooperate and push on Krishna consciousness. Work with his followers even when it’s difficult. These are our goals and this is our work. Only by faithfully prosecuting these orders can we realize Prabhupada’s promise that we will think of Krishna twenty-four hours a day. He’s not just one person’s Prabhupada. <\/p>\n

As a complement to the public worship, there is a private relationship with him. It must be so, and we don’t want it otherwise. Sometimes we even feel disturbed when someone starts talking about Prabhupada. We think, “Prabhupada remembrance is not so easy to attain as this.” Or we think, “They have asked me to speak of Prabhupada, but how can I do it? It is not something to be so openly discussed.” <\/p>\n

Then it is esoteric? Yes and no. It is an open secret; it is pure love \u2014 which you cannot weigh and put into a package. We each have our pure devotion for Prabhupada, and it is not always touched on in the general recitation of his glories. <\/p>\n

Sometimes we are unsure: “Does Prabhupada know I’m here? Does he love me? Does he understand my inner nature?” The answer to this is yes, but you have to enter a real relationship as menial servant, as disciplined follower, as practicing devotee. Srila Prabhupada will shower his blessings on you and you will know him, without a doubt.<\/p>\n

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September 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Prabhupada\u2019s Emphasis on Guru <\/p>\n

Remembering the spiritual master is an important and frequent topic in Vedic literature. Yasya deve para bhaktir<\/i> . . . \u201cOnly to one who has implicit faith in guru and Krishna are the imports of the Vedic literature revealed.\u201d So we may remember the spiritual master in a philosophical way, in his tattva<\/i>, or “category” \u2014 he is the representative of Visnu. We also remember him in a personal way, recalling the activities and qualities of His Divine Grace. When you read in the sastras<\/i> of the liberated person, the bona fide<\/i> spiritual master, it’s very reassuring because you have no doubt that your Srila Prabhupada is a bona fide acarya<\/i>. He fits the bill in all respects. <\/p>\n

\u201cThe spiritual master is addressed as \u2018Prabhupada\u2019 because he is a completely self-realized soul. The word \u2018pada<\/i>\u2019 means \u2018position,\u2019 and \u2018Prabhupada\u2019 indicates that he is given the position of prabhu<\/i>, or the Supreme Personality of Godhead, for he acts on behalf of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. (Bhag<\/i>. 4.23.18) <\/p>\n

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Take a Vedic reference on the importance of the guru and savor it, giving thanks to Lord Krishna and Srila Prabhupada: “The spiritual master is honored as much as the Supreme Lord because he is the most confidential servitor of the Lord.”<\/p>\n

September 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Why I Follow His Way<\/p>\n

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When I talk of why I follow Srila Prabhupada, I should speak for myself. <\/p>\n

He was the only one who taught me of God and I listened. He explained everything. He represented a “science of God.” He came to where I was on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, into my egocentric dirty life, when I was turning over Van Gogh’s question (\u201cIs misery eternal?\u201d) in my mind. (According to scriptures, if you meet the sad-guru<\/i>, eternal spiritual master, you shouldn’t wait to do something else or look for someone else \u2014 but surrender to him and take initiation as his disciple.) <\/p>\n

He brought the chanting of the holy names and youthful hope about the chanting. Although I’ve been chanting for fifty years without much progress, I still have enthusiasm \u2014 “What a great idea! What an easy thing to do all the time! And how devotional! \u2014 Chant God’s names!” <\/p>\n

And he brought us the chanting in a musical rhythm of drum and karatalas. Don’t underestimate the hold of the kirtana<\/i> music with Swamiji leading us night after night. <\/p>\n

He gave us a complete philosophy, Gaudiya Vaisnava siddhanta<\/i>. Lord Caitanya is the benedicting moon. Radha-Krishna are the ultimate goal in Goloka. The Gosvami philosophers teach the way, and Prabhupada is their latest representative. <\/p>\n

“But later, when you grew older, didn’t you change your mind? Weren’t you ever sorry for following him? Didn’t you find it difficult to renounce so much? Weren’t you disappointed by the institution?” One who asks those questions doesn’t understand. Celibacy, for example, feels right; it\u2019s wonderful peace and simplicity. Just for giving me brahmacarya<\/i>, I owe my life to Swamiji. He made it sound like routine work. Disappointed? Not so much. I am in anxiety that Srila Prabhupada might be disappointed in me. So many things went wrong, fell short. But I remember when one of his first disciples went away, Prabhupada said, “It is not so amazing that someone leaves Krishna consciousness. The amazing thing is if someone stays [because maya<\/i> is so strong].\u201d <\/p>\n

We’ve almost all been disappointed by the institution at one time or another. But the Krishna Conscious Movement is growing again; seeds are coming up in unexpected places: Russia, Eastern Europe, China. America is surviving bad times. So I have no regrets for taking to the spiritual path and working for the Movement. I’m happy; I have a tangible connection with a pure devotee of the Lord. I’m only sorry because if I see him today, he may show his disappointment for my obvious failure. But he gives me hope, just as in the beginning. I want to please my spiritual master by coming alive in devotional service unto Lord Krishna.<\/p>\n

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September 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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A Glimpse from a Saturday Night in Swamiji\u2019s Room<\/p>\n

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You can sit down, it’s a closed room and Swamiji is sitting on the other side of the little desk. His desk is a tin suitcase. Over Swamiji’s head is a calendar painting of Krishna playing His flute and standing on the world, and then over our heads here on the other side of the room, there’s a picture of Lord Caitanya, which the Swami sometimes glances at. He’s sitting on his mat, which is the same mat he uses when he lies down to sleep. His typewriter is also on the desk. He rises early and does his work right here, the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. <\/p>\n

“Now a boy, Neal, is going to do some typing for me.” When Swamiji speaks, you try to be part of it. Don’t be an outsider who comes and raises doubts. But when they come, then you get to observe the Swami answering questions, which is good for us. <\/p>\n

Tonight you have a question: “Swamiji, you said that the souls leave Krishna and come into the material world out of envy. So where does it say that in the scriptures?\u201d The Swami shows you in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. He says, \u201cChapter 7, verse 27.\u201d He gives you the book to read out loud: \u201cAll living beings are born into delusion, bewildered by dualities arisen from desire and hate.” So there it is: Krishna says they come here out of envy and hate. You say, \u201cHate sounds like too strong a word.\u201d But Swami says no, they actually hate God. Then he gets strong in saying it. I accept what he says. <\/p>\n

It’s been a few months now, and you notice that some things he says you have heard before, but that’s all right \u2014 although it makes you wonder, if already some things are starting to be repeated, what does it mean? But then, there’s so much more that you don’t know. Anyway, the difference between the Swami and us is immeasurable. It’s not just that he’s read a lot more books. But he has direct realization of Krishna. He says if we chant Hare Krishna we’ll also have realization, but I know that it’s not possible that we could ever have as much realization. <\/p>\n

He’s the pure devotee in this particular form, in a goldenish complexion, and an Indian body, elderly but strong looking, like a strong father or even grandfather. You are drawn to him. And the same truth will be conveyed to anyone who comes here. They can accept it and see for themselves, the presence of a person who has a different consciousness than we do because he is a pure devotee of Krishna, and you can have faith in seeing him. Those who don’t see him that way, it’s unfortunate. If someone comes and doesn’t get a wonderful impression of the Swami, what can we do? We can’t force them. If they miss the point, it’s their mistake. It doesn’t faze us. Others are puzzled as to why he lets the hair grow out of his ears, or how come he’s wearing eyeglasses if he’s perfect? But we see these as not inappropriate to a sage. <\/p>\n

He is lovable because of his dedication to Krishna, but not lovable like a five-year-old kid is. He is heavy. If you just try to tell him why you don’t believe there is God, he can knock you down with intellectual arguments, and if need be, shout you down. If you try to shout back, then everything is ruined. Swamiji goes anywhere and meets anyone to preach, even if people aren’t receptive. But he doesn’t regularly expose himself to people or places where he is mocked or harassed. There has to be respect and then it can happen. You can’t expect a guru to give Krishna to faithless persons. <\/p>\n

September 30, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Prabhupada and the \u201cParty Spirit\u201d <\/p>\n

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Regardless of approach, everyone has a direct line to reaching Prabhupada’s mercy. For some, it may be their service to his mission, even if they don’t find much time to read. The heart of attachment to him is dedication, and it may be taken up in many individual ways. Some devotees stress obedience to the vows of sadhana<\/i>, and another party takes as more important the spreading of the teachings to new people. And everyone draws examples from the life of Srila Prabhupada to support their own ways of serving him\u2014 whether by cooking, preaching, worshiping the Deities, leading kirtanas<\/i>, giving classes, teaching children, or whatever. For example, some parents believe in \u201cindulging\u201d their children up to the age of five because Srila Prabhupada said something to this effect. Or some devotee parents will say Prabhupada’s father sent him to college for a career, using that as an example for their children’s future. A business-inclined devotee will look at Prabhupada’s life during his pharmaceutical business and take direction from that. A family man sees Prabhupada’s responsibility towards his family members as a model, and it helps him to chalk out his own life. Each is a testimony to Prabhupada\u2019s dearness and greatness. In a 1966 lecture on the Bowery, Prabhupada emphasized \u201cdovetailing our consciousness with the Supreme.\u201d He said, \u201cDon’t stop your activity (that’s not possible), but act in a way that you can serve the Lord of the senses with your senses.\u201d So everyone’s service is possible. And yet we must admit that there are servants who are pleasing and those who are more pleasing. <\/p>\n

Let me not be upset or envious of the existence of the \u201cparty spirit\u201d among Prabhupada’s followers. Don’t be bewildered by their propaganda and by the attention Srila Prabhupada gives them. Let me give as many authentic views as possible of Prabhupada. Memoirs are nice, but tell them gently, not to prove that you are a good disciple or to prove one of your pet theories. Let us appreciate how Srila Prabhupada is everyone’s best example. Choose your own way to serve him. A successful servant is one who thinks of him intensely while trying to carry out his instructions. Another way of saying it is that a devotee should offer his whole life and whole self to Srila Prabhupada. Decide on how best to do this, and then give all you have as an offering to him. Furthermore, anyone who gives himself or herself and serves Prabhupada, remembering him in a humble way, will overcome all material difficulties. Thus it happened to Prahlada Maharaja, who was a perfect devotee in krishna-smaranam<\/i>: <\/p>\n

Thus the weapons of the demons had no tangible effects upon Prahlada Maharaja because he was a devotee undisturbed by material conditions and fully engaged in meditating upon and serving the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is unchangeable, who cannot be realized by the material senses and who is the soul of the entire universe. \u2014Bhag<\/i>. 7.5.41 <\/p>\n

But does this mean that it is entirely individual, with no definitive view of the lilas<\/i> and instructions of Prabhupada? Yes, there is a consensus view. The meaning of Prabhupada’s life, according to his faithful devotees, is conclusive. Yet even within authorized ISKCON understanding and carrying out of instructions, there are inevitable parties. This party spirit exists even in Goloka among the different wings of gopis<\/i> or among devotees serving in the various rasas<\/i>. Mother Yasoda and her friends look upon Krishna’s activities differently than do the young gopis<\/i>, and the cowherd boys have their own point of view. So let us work in a party of like-minded devotees for carrying out Prabhupada’s instructions. By taking up the service of Srila Prabhupada which most attracts our heart and to which we feel we can give our greatest efforts, we will enter into association with devotees who are like us. A certain group, for example, will gather up from Prabhupada’s writings all he has said about living on farms and feel nourished carrying on cow protection and ox power, convinced they are carrying out Prabhupada’s most important mission. What about those distributing his books \u2014 are they opposed to the varnasrama<\/i> servants? No, although sometimes, in the rhetoric of the party spirit, devotees may sound like that. Let us not be agitated or discouraged by the party spirit. Let everyone come together, at least sometimes, and appreciate Prabhupada as universal teacher. Let’s all draw the same conclusion from his life and teachings \u2014 that he is our inspiration, which is expressed in many ways.<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

October 1, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Maintaining Prabhupada Memories<\/p>\n

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A nostalgic appreciation of the early days is helpful, but it is also a fact that we have to live in the present situation. If we make new efforts in our relationship with Prabhupada, we will recover the childlike faith in bowing down before him and appreciating him. We have to deliberately fight off the deadening things that come by repetition and age.<\/p>\n

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It is also good that the caretakers of the Krishna consciousness movement pass resolutions that Prabhupada should be in the middle of all our activities and we should not forget him. We should publish and distribute his books, and we should collect money to maintain his temples. There is a need for institutionalized direction by responsible leaders in order to keep Prabhupada in the center of such a big movement. But it cannot be done only by the force of the institution and its officers. Those who make the resolutions must actually put Prabhupada in the center of their own lives in both substantial ways and in small personal ways. They should honestly advise us that each one has to do this on his own. One way to do this is to maintain our personal memories of association with Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

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October 2, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

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The \u201cRadical Act\u201d of Remembering Prabhupada <\/p>\n

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I am aware that my concentration on memories of Prabhupada may be seen as a radical act. Most of Prabhupada\u2019s disciples are serving him by active service, but I think that remembrance of Prabhupada is also very helpful for all of us. We should know the person whose will we are following. It is important for us to know how he lived, even in all its detail. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Recently a Godbrother asked me to read the biography of a Jewish teacher of Hassidism, The Great Maggid; The Life and Teachings of Rabbi Dove Ber of Mezhirech<\/i>. The founder of the Hassidic movement was Bal Shem Tov, and his successor was the great Maggid (\u201cthe great preacher\u201d), Rabbi Dove Ber. I found something in this book which gave me encouragement in my proposal that remembering Prabhupada is very important.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The most comprehensive evaluation of the Maggid, perhaps, is that offered by Rabbi Leib Sarah\u2019s. This saint was wont to say that man\u2019s purpose is himself to become a Torah; all one\u2019s doings, every emotion, act and speech should personify the Torah. This ideal he found fully realized in Rabbi Dove Ber, of whom he said: \u2018I went to see the great Maggid of Mezhirech of blessed memory, not to learn Torah from his mouth but to learn how he ties and unties his shoelaces!\u2019<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is important to hear the guru teach the Torah or the scripture, and yet we also want to learn everything about him<\/i>, because a bona fide guru is a living example of the scripture. We want to learn how the realized speaker of the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> dealt with his disciples; how did this great author of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> eat his prasadam<\/i>? How did he sleep and how did he walk? This is similar to Arjuna\u2019s request of Krishna. \u201cWhat are the symptoms of one whose consciousness is thus merged in transcendence? How does he speak and what is his language? How does he sit and how does he walk?\u201d (Bg<\/i>. 2.54)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is stated in the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> that the scriptures are hard to understand because their imports are very grave, and sometimes they even appear contradictory. Therefore one should follow the way of the mahajanas<\/i>. This following should be very comprehensive. To know how a realized spiritual master personifies the scripture, we should actually live with him. If a reputed preacher comes down from the pulpit and beats his wife, kicks his dog, and accepts bribes, then you know that he is actually a hypocrite. We want to see him not only when he is sitting on the vyasasana<\/i>, but all the time. We want to learn, as far as possible, how he manages to serve and love Krishna 24 hours a day.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Retelling of Prabhupada\u2019s Arrival in America <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes I speak about Prabhupada to new devotees who have not yet read Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i>. I start by telling how Prabhupada took the Jaladuta to America and narrate the story of the beginning of 26 Second Avenue. On these occasions I have a free field. It is an unusually good opportunity to speak without worrying whether they have heard the stories of Prabhupada in Butler, Pennsylvania, or Prabhupada staying with Dr. Mishra. I linger over those incidents with relish. I sense that Prabhupada is present and is pleased by my talking about him, especially at certain times when I say something humorous, or while talking about his difficulties \u2026 For example, he went regularly to the Scindia Steamship office in New York and asked, \u201cWhen is the boat going back?\u201d The Scindia agent finally said, \u201cYou ask so many times when is the boat going back, but you never go back, Swamiji.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I speak whatever comes to mind from the Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i>, with added commentary. I want to impress upon my audience that Prabhupada carried all of us within him like seeds. It was especially precarious during that first year. It is fun to talk about him, and my memories come out a bit differently than they did in the Lilamrta<\/i>. For example, I tell how the Agarwal family in Butler first received a photo of Prabhupada and knew that he was coming to stay with them. I might say, \u201cThey saw the picture of him and they were frightened,\u201d but in the book, I emphasize that the Agarwals were uneasy, thinking that their middle-class values and their place in America might be compromised by the Swami\u2019s coming. \u201cUneasy\u201d is not the same as \u201cfrightened\u201d.<\/p>\n

October 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Deep Impact of the Spiritual Master<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada told us of important guru realizations which occurred in his own life. As soon as he met Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati in 1922, Srila Prabhupada knew that this was his spiritual master \u2013 “Not officially, but in my heart.” Srila Prabhupada did not move into the asrama<\/i> of his guru but continued traveling throughout India, doing business as a householder. But he would often stop and think of the wonderful Vaisnava who had entered his life by Krishna’s arrangement: “I have met such a nice saintly person.” <\/p>\n

Years later, while reading Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura’s commentary, Srila Prabhupada was struck by the force of this statement: \u201cJust as life-breath is essential to a living being, so the order of the guru should be the life-breath of the disciple.\u201d Thinking upon this deeply changed Srila Prabhupada’s life. <\/p>\n

So every disciple should carry out the order of the spiritual master and repeatedly think of him, whenever one can. He is the saintly person who has come and changed our life from one of doom to one of hope. When we fall into dullness, or when passionate duties cause forgetfulness of our spiritual master, a reading of Vedic knowledge will remind us again and bring us toward absorption in Prabhupada. “He opens my darkened eyes and fills my heart with transcendental knowledge. He is my lord, birth after birth \u2026 The Vedic scriptures sing of his character.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Levels of Prabhupada Consciousness<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There are different levels of Prabhupada consciousness. Devotees have even spoken of “an illusory Prabhupada”, meaning a Prabhupada whom they imagine. When one is deviating, one can rationalize that Prabhupada won’t mind \u2014 an illusory Prabhupada. There is an official Prabhupada and a superficially worshiped Prabhupada, and so on. There’s a Prabhupada of the nectarean anecdotes whom the Western theologians would refer to as “the historical Prabhupada”. And there’s the all-pervading Prabhupada. As Rupa Gosvami said about Sukadeva: “I offer my obeisances to my spiritual master, who enters into the heart of everyone.” Similarly, Vyasadeva praised his spiritual master, Narada: “Like the sun, your goodness can travel everywhere in the three worlds, and like the air you can penetrate the internal region of everyone. As such, you are as good as the all-pervading Supersoul.” (Bhag.<\/i> 1.5.7). <\/p>\n

Unfortunately, one may live many years in contact with one of the lesser versions of Prabhupada. Also, one can bully others by a heavy-handed use of quotes from Prabhupada’s letters, and one can misuse Prabhupada’s authority in various ways. Therefore, it’s important to discover and remain aware of the most basic understanding one has of His Divine Grace. Remember that you promised him you would chant sixteen rounds every day and follow the four rules. Remember the day that you took the beads from him and made that vow in his presence? Feel the weight of it. <\/p>\n

October 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Will Claim Us <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada may be in Goloka Vrindavana in the form of a gopa<\/i> directly playing with Krishna, or he may be in the form of a manjari<\/i> assisting the gopis<\/i> who are arranging for the conjugal pastimes of Radha-Krishna, or he may be moving in Lord Caitanya’s sankirtana<\/i> movement. Just as the eternally liberated Narada Muni travels sometimes in the spiritual world and sometimes in the material world, playing his vina and helping conditioned souls by glorifying and giving relevant instructions, so Srila Prabhupada may be doing like that. I do not know. I do know I had a very definite pastime connection with His Divine Grace when he came to us at 26 Second Avenue. A tiny, conditioned entity cannot expect to know very much about confidential devotional service. Furthermore, he should be satisfied to carry out the orders of the spiritual master as given in this world. <\/p>\n

When all is said and done, I’m confident that Prabhupada will claim his devotees as long as we turn to him. He has specifically instructed us about the time of death. He said the same thing that Bhagavad-gita<\/i> says: Think of Krishna at the end of life and \u201csurely you will come to Me, without doubt.” This time-of-death concentration will carry us to the spiritual world. And Krishna will note the brand of our meditation \u2013 as the followers of His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada personally meditated on Lord Krishna until the last breath while serving in Krishna-Balarama Mandir, while urging his disciples never to give up preaching. <\/p>\n

By Prabhupada’s grace he lives within me. Our communication in separation depends on the purity of the disciple. But whether pure or impure, the favorable remembrance of him can bring us immediately to our constitutional position. I may sometimes think that I have to go on my own, taking help from other spiritual masters, or daring to go directly to Krishna, yet the Vedic scriptures remind me and bring me back to my senses. Only if I please the spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, will Krishna be pleased with me. There is no conflict between thinking of Prabhupada and thinking of Krishna. Even when we feel we are most in tune with Krishna directly, by His words in Bhagavad-gita<\/i> or in His beautiful Form in the arca-vigraha<\/i>, even then we are gratefully aware, “Srila Prabhupada, I am doing what you told me, and, as always, you were right \u2014 Krishna is so nice.” According to Gaudiya Vaisnava philosophy, the spiritual master leads the devotee into his eternal rasa<\/i> with Sri Sri Radha-Krishna in Vrndavana. And just in case we have not done so well, it’s Srila Prabhupada who will stand between us and the Yamadutas’ fierce punishments.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Fear of Prabhupada\u2019s Presence<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A possible weakness: I claim to be yearning for union with Srila Prabhupada, yet I am afraid of an actual encounter with him \u2014 because he makes me surrender. If I\u2019m afraid of an encounter that means that I prefer to remember him, rather than to be with him. In the memory form, Prabhupada cannot answer me back. He is the object of my worship, but he remains silent. This type of meditation could come dangerously close to worshiping an “illusory Prabhupada”. But I shouldn’t damn myself and say that I am trying to avoid him. Despite my laziness, when Prabhupada speaks, I will obey. Neither is he entirely silent since his disappearance. He speaks through his many disciples, and I’m listening to them. He also speaks in my heart and I respond. He speaks directly in his writings. Thinking of Prabhupada does not mean one-way talks, with only me speaking whatever I like before an idol of my own creation. At their best, conversations with Prabhupada are two-way conversations by worshipful followers. As one can “talk” with Krishna, so it is possible to do this with guru also. <\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada was once asked about communication with him “when you’re not with us”. At first he said we can read his books, but the devotee asked, “What about in addition to your books, just as Supersoul speaks to us?” Prabhupada replied that it depended on the purity of the disciple. <\/p>\n

Regarding his relationship with his own spiritual master, Srila Prabhupada wrote, “I think that His Divine Grace Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati is always seeing my activities and guiding me within my heart by his words. As it is said in Srimad-Bhagavatam, tene brahma hrda ya adi-kavaye<\/i>: \u2018Spiritual inspiration comes from within the heart, wherein the Supreme Personality of Godhead, in His Paramatma feature, is always sitting with all His devotees and associates.\u2019” (Concluding words of Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i>)<\/p>\n

I admit my failures, but I know that Srila Prabhupada is with me. I should consider that in my younger days with Prabhupada, I was only a boy. Prabhupada gave me orders for everything in my life: “You should chant, you should go there, you should do this, you should do that.” He taught as a father and mother teaches the child, sometimes pulling them by the hand. But when the father sees they have grown, he wants them to use their intelligence and do the service on their own. <\/p>\n

You are given a chance to do better service. So you should think that, \u201cI am a more surrendered soul than I was. I have to do highly qualified seva<\/i>, which at that time I could not understand. I was not then at a standard to know what was wrong and what was right. Whatever he ordered or told I obeyed. But now I have to act according to his wish. So I am most surrendered.\u201d <\/p>\n

How can one understand that he’s pleasing the guru after the guru\u2019s disappearance? Yenatma suprasidati<\/i>. When Lord Hari is satisfied, then the individual soul is satisfied. If you want to do anything, or begin anything, you should think, \u201cI’m doing it only for the pleasure of guru and Gauranga. Don’t be doubtful.” Although I have to consider the possibility that I’m still a rascal, I know that Srila Prabhupada loves me and finds a place for me in his service. We have to be confident of our ongoing exchange with him, but not too confident so that we think we know everything about Krishna and Prabhupada. Be confident of your own surrender \u2014 but always a fool before the guru. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery disciple must consider himself completely unaware of the science of Krishna and must always be ready to carry out the orders of the spiritual master to become competent in Krishna consciousness. A disciple should always remain a fool before his spiritual master.\u201d (Cc. Adi<\/i>, 7.72, purport) <\/p>\n

Thinking of Prabhupada needn’t be esoteric and elusive. It’s remembering your spiritual father. You’re sorry that you’re not serving him better. But you know you shouldn’t just dwell on that in a negative way. Prabhupada writes, “If one has faith, even if for the time being he can’t fully carry out the injunctions of the Lord \u2014 as long as he doesn’t admit defeat and hopelessness \u2014 then gradually he will be elevated to the right position.” So you remember your spiritual father and you live by his instructions.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 8, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Thoughts of Swamiji from Five Blocks Away <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji, you’re in your room <\/p>\n

and I’m here at the welfare office <\/p>\n

thinking of you. <\/p>\n

I’m fortunate <\/p>\n

to be so close to you, <\/p>\n

and I’ll see you at lunchtime. <\/p>\n

My supervisor doesn’t know <\/p>\n

and Miss \u201cFemme Fatale\u201d doesn’t know <\/p>\n

although I’d tell them more if I could. <\/p>\n

For now I have to live within, <\/p>\n

praying to Visnu <\/p>\n

the Lord of bhakti-yoga<\/i>. <\/p>\n

Swamiji, as I think of your kind glances <\/p>\n

and the chanting you’ve brought <\/p>\n

to the Lower East Side, <\/p>\n

I’m grateful to be your son. <\/p>\n

I’ve got so many misconceptions <\/p>\n

of spiritual life <\/p>\n

and heaps of dirty things in my heart. <\/p>\n

You’re changing all that <\/p>\n

but I’m just a crawling infant. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Please stay with your children, <\/p>\n

Brahmananda, Acyutananda, Kirtanananda, Rupanuga \u2013 <\/p>\n

don’t leave us <\/p>\n

or we’ll all fall down. <\/p>\n

I’m praying at the office <\/p>\n

to serve your mission <\/p>\n

with $134 a week. <\/p>\n

Hearing your lectures every morning, <\/p>\n

sometimes I’m alone with you <\/p>\n

to ask a question: <\/p>\n

“Should I chant Hare Krsna within?” <\/p>\n

I’ll see you again, O Spiritual Master, <\/p>\n

pure devotee of Lord Krishna, <\/p>\n

and I’m living for that. <\/p>\n

Please accept this mango. <\/p>\n

Harer-nama harer-nama, harer namaiva kevalam.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 9, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Wisps of \u201966 Memories <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One time in Prabhupada\u2019s room, Lefkowitz asked, \u201cSwamiji, when someone paints a portrait of Krishna, is it the artist\u2019s conception of Him?\u201d Prabhupada replied, \u201cYes.\u201d That answer helped me because I knew that you were supposed to think and believe that Krishna was absolutely present in His picture. But on the other hand, the pictures were obviously stylized. They used techniques of Indian art, and you could see the weaknesses in the paintings, etc. This created a jarring problem. But Prabhupada said that it was the artist\u2019s conception; however, the form of Krishna they painted was based on facts from the sastra.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Another time one of the boys was reading something to Swamiji from the Bible. The passage referred to a prophet\u2019s lineage with worship and respect for the forefathers. When the person was described (let us say his name was Jacob), his name was given in connection with his forefathers. It was something like, \u201cJacob, a man of God, whose forefathers were so-and-so.\u201d As soon as this passage was read, Swamiji said, \u201cYes, this is the way in spiritual life. One refers to himself in terms of his previous teachers and forefathers.\u201d Prabhupada approved of the parampara<\/i> principle in this passage of the Bible. He then gave examples from Vedic literature. He told the story of Lord Brahma who went to visit Lord Krishna in Dvaraka. At first Brahma was not allowed in, and the doorkeeper asked, \u201cWhich Brahma are you?\u201d Brahma replied, \u201cI am the father of the four Kumaras.\u201d He identified himself in relationship to recognized devotees, the four Kumaras.<\/p>\n

October 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Our Pride in Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There is no difference between the spiritual master\u2019s instructions and the spiritual master himself. In his absence, therefore, his words of direction should be the pride of the disciple. \u2013 (Cc. Adi <\/i>1.35, purport)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

What does this mean, that the guru\u2019s order is the pride of the disciple? It means that the disciple has received a treasure and this is the cause of his satisfaction. He is not boastful about it, but undeniably, his guru\u2019s order is the cause for self-congratulation. He is confident that a great soul is leading him back to Godhead. He is no longer downtrodden. The disciple of a bona fide spiritual master has won the prize, the cream, the flower.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Such pride exists even in the Supreme \u2013 Lord Krishna is proud of Srimate Radharani, and She is proud of Him. Srila Prabhupada was proud of his guru maharaj, who was never defeated. And his guru maharaj was proud to be the son of Bhaktivinoda Thakura. All devotees of Lord Caitanya are proud to belong to the Gaudiya Vaisnava samprad\u0101ya<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Material existence crushes us and makes us ashamed. Our relationship with Srila Prabhupada makes us transcendental. Yet this pride doesn\u2019t work against humility. We remain a fool before the spiritual master.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One time I wrote to Srila Prabhupada that I did not think myself a very bold preacher. He wrote that he too once thought he could not speak, but by practice he gained confidence. Moreover, he said, we are not cheating anyone when we speak, so you should not be hesitant or ashamed. Prabhupada compared the devotees of the Lord to the servant of the king. As the king is most honorable, so is his servant.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The spiritual pride in the guru\u2019s order implies a grave responsibility. We are to discharge Prabhupada\u2019s order for the benefit of the whole world. The pride of the elite must be preserved at all costs. Arjuna was proud of his friendship with Krishna, but when Arjuna wanted to renounce the k\u1e63atriya\u2019s<\/i> duty, Krishna warned him not to dishonor the glorious relationship. And so it is stated that the spiritual master will always keep company with the disciple, as long as the disciple follows strictly the instruction of the spiritual master.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let us be proud of the knowledge in Srila Prabhupada\u2019s books. Never take it as a minor event that we have come to accept them as scriptures. Who can comprehend these things except the devotees themselves? People will take it as vainglory. But even at the risk of being misunderstood, we have to speak and write of Prabhupada\u2019s glories. The world should see splendid architecture in his memory, his samadhis<\/i> and museums \u2013 and the Bhaktivedanta Institute and the Bhaktivedanta Manor. Most important of all, we should consider ourselves blessed by his association, and so in pride, we bow down at his lotus feet. By the causeless mercy of Prabhupada, even the lowest born and most fallen can now aspire to topmost bliss, Krishna in Vrindavana. May we always remember that we are the servants of the true servant of the Supreme.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Why Didn\u2019t I Keep a Diary in 1966? <\/p>\n

(In the mood of Satsvarupa das Brahamacari)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji, they want to know why <\/p>\n

I didn’t keep a diary filled <\/p>\n

with the life of those days. <\/p>\n

I thought everything was in your words, <\/p>\n

and they were in books and tape recordings. <\/p>\n

I also made notes of them. <\/p>\n

What is it I should have saved for the future? <\/p>\n

Should I have kept notes like: <\/p>\n

“He has brown eyes . . . <\/p>\n

today Hayagriva made a joke . . . <\/p>\n

I feel happy in Krishna consciousness, <\/p>\n

haven’t smoked pot in two months?” <\/p>\n

Maybe I thought it was maya<\/i>. <\/p>\n

But I’m sorry now <\/p>\n

I didn’t keep a journal of it all. <\/p>\n

I had no presence of mind\u2014 <\/p>\n

for me the main thing <\/p>\n

was that you were restoring me to life\u2014 <\/p>\n

I was fully occupied <\/p>\n

holding on to your lotus feet. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Maybe I thought there was <\/p>\n

no need to write it down <\/p>\n

because we would never forget <\/p>\n

everything that you did and said. <\/p>\n

No, there’s no excuse for it. <\/p>\n

Please bless me now, Master, <\/p>\n

to live in those days <\/p>\n

remembering your kirtanas<\/i> and <\/p>\n

the time I met you <\/p>\n

on the street and bowed down <\/p>\n

on the sidewalk before you. <\/p>\n

As I rose you touched me with your hand. <\/p>\n

I was in ecstasy! <\/p>\n

You continued on your morning walk\u2014 <\/p>\n

and I proceeded to the welfare office <\/p>\n

to break through the line of angry workers on strike.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He Gave Us the Gayatri Mantra<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

aim gurudevaya vidmahe krsnanandaya dhimahi tan no guroh pracodayat <\/i> <\/p>\n

\u201cLet us try to understand my spiritual master who is always in blissful Krishna consciousness. Let me meditate on him being enthused as he enthuses us.\u201d <\/p>\n

The Gayatri<\/i> mantra provides us with a meditation on the spiritual master which may be applied to Srila Prabhupada. There are actually two mantras to the spiritual master in the Gayatri<\/i>. The first is aim gurave namah<\/i>: “I make my respectful obeisances unto my spiritual master.” This means we should approach Srila Prabhupada offering obeisances. Srila Prabhupada is actually a most intimate friend, but he should not be taken as an ordinary person. <\/p>\n

The Gayatri<\/i> mantra advises us “to meditate on him being enthused.” One time when he was commenting on the word enthusiasm (utsaha<\/i>), as used in Rupa Gosvami’s Upadesamrta<\/i>, Srila Prabhupada gave himself as an example. He said, “How could I have come to America at such an old age unless I was enthusiastic?” He was enthusiastic to come to America because his guru ordered, and when for a whole year he got almost no response in America, Srila Prabhupada remained patient but still enthusiastic. That enthusiasm can be heard on tape recordings of Prabhupada lecturing on the Lower East Side, where his voice often cracks with earnestness to deliver the message of Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada was so enthusiastic to write Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> that he would rise at one in the morning to do so. His composing of his purports was the perfect example of combined patience and enthusiasm. As he said, “Little drops of water wear away the stone. In this way, I’ve written all these books.” <\/p>\n

“Let us meditate,” the Gayatri<\/i> mantra advises, and so one can continue on his own, or in the association of devotees, to think about and discuss the enthusiastic moods and activities of His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada’s translation contains a particularly interesting phrase, “Let me meditate on him being enthused as he enthuses us.” A genuine disciple has become enthusiastic in devotional service, and he knows that this is due to the enthusiasm of his spiritual master. <\/p>\n

We may meditate on how our enthusiastic spiritual master has transferred this sakti<\/i> of utsaha<\/i> to us. Prabhupada said that the mother of his disciple, Acyutananda, complained that her son used to lounge around the house all the time and was unwilling to go on errands. But since he had come to live with Swamiji, he was always enthusiastic to cook and to run any errands asked by his spiritual master. Srila Prabhupada was also fond of a pamphlet produced by a Christian minister in Boston which made reference to Srila Prabhupada’s enthusiastic disciples. The minister said that he met a Hare Krishna devotee giving out literature in the neighborhood of the church. The priest said, “These are actually our boys, but previously they were never interested in going to church. Now they have become mad after God.” Srila Prabhupada also said that it was only by the enthusiasm of his disciples that the Krishna Consciousness Movement was spreading around the world. <\/p>\n

When we do not feel enthusiastic, let us meditate on the enthusiasm of Srila Prabhupada. Let it ignite within us our natural enthusiasm to serve Krishna. This is krsna-ananda<\/i>, which motivates all the thoughts and activities of a pure devotee of the Lord. Whether he is grave and silent, or dancing in the kirtana<\/i> of Lord Caitanya, whether he is being honored by many followers or treated as an outcaste, the pure Vaisnava is always merged in enthusiasm and bliss. Let us meditate upon him being enthused just as he enthuses us.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Radhastami 1966 <\/p>\n

(In the mood of Satsvarupa das Brahamacari)<\/p>\n

Swamiji, I’m in my room thinking of you <\/p>\n

and what you are giving us. <\/p>\n

As I told my brother-in-law, <\/p>\n

“It\u2019s transcendental loving service.” <\/p>\n

It’s raining today <\/p>\n

and I will get initiated. It will be fun. <\/p>\n

I’ve got my red japa<\/i> beads. You are my guru. <\/p>\n

I feel serious <\/p>\n

about this initiation into Hinduism. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

. . . Now it’s later <\/p>\n

and you’ve given me a spiritual name. <\/p>\n

My true name is Satsvarupa das. From now on <\/p>\n

I’m no longer \u201cSteve Guarino.\u201d <\/p>\n

When I say I believe in God and God is Krishna <\/p>\n

and He is present in the japa<\/i> beads, <\/p>\n

is this my imagination? Is it my belief? Is it fact? <\/p>\n

What is the proof? <\/p>\n

Anyway, as long as I can see you, <\/p>\n

my doubts will be defeated. <\/p>\n

I’ve never met anyone like you: <\/p>\n

You are close to us as a friend and father <\/p>\n

and yet you are with Krishna in a trance of devotion. <\/p>\n

You make strong arguments against all doubts. <\/p>\n

What’s ahead? I don’t know. <\/p>\n

Let me read your books. From now on <\/p>\n

I’m no longer Steve Guarino. <\/p>\n

Let me write it, Satsvarupa dasa. <\/p>\n

And more visions of you: <\/p>\n

in your turtleneck jersey, your shining eyes, <\/p>\n

working at your Gita<\/i> and Bhagavatam<\/i>, <\/p>\n

your spiritual body, your life in India, <\/p>\n

the mystery of Radha and Krishna. <\/p>\n

Now autumn is coming and it is a brilliant hope. <\/p>\n

You say we will go out chanting in Tompkins Square Park, <\/p>\n

you say we will go everywhere, <\/p>\n

even Russia and China. <\/p>\n

I too may have to go somewhere. <\/p>\n

I want to be serious and get up very early <\/p>\n

and fight sleep and sex desire and work for you. <\/p>\n

It is a brilliant hope\u2014that Krishna is the Supreme Godhead <\/p>\n

and we can play with Him in Vrindavana. <\/p>\n

If my father and mother don’t like it, <\/p>\n

they can reject me, so what? <\/p>\n

As Rayarama said, “It’s the oldest story in the world, <\/p>\n

that kids grow up and go their way.” <\/p>\n

Swamiji, you know all this and you know Krishna. <\/p>\n

Please accept me. <\/p>\n

I’ll write more soon if you are pleased with this.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 14, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Pleasing Swamiji by Working for Krishna <\/p>\n

It was a real yajna<\/i> to work for Swamiji at the welfare office. But it was successful yoga, partly because Swamiji was so physically near and I could know that I would see him soon enough. I was there to work for him, to get the money to pay the rent. It was an open secret to all the welfare workers and clients that I was a devotee of Krishna and the Swamiji. Before Prabhupada came, my secret was taking marijuana, but now my secret was open, different\u2014that I had become a devotee of Krishna, with shaven head and sikha<\/i>. I couldn’t preach at the office, and so, except for the visible appearance of a Vaisnava, I did the exact same work as everyone else. Devotional service was new to me and I wanted to keep it alive. I was aware at every moment I was acting outwardly while trying to maintain an inward focus. Swamiji had told us that Krishna is present in the heart as Visnu, Paramatma. And so I tried to think of Visnu and love Visnu in the heart. I was also writing Him a poem which I worked on at my office desk. <\/p>\n

One morning I told Swamiji it was hard to remain Krishna conscious at work. I said, “Swamiji, sometimes when the people in the office say nonsense, I chant within myself without making any sound. Is that all right?” Prabhupada replied, “Not only are they saying nonsense sometimes, but even the greatest philosopher is talking nonsense. So you can chant all the time like that within, when you can’t actually chant out loud.” So I would chant within myself. But sometimes I was able to be alone in a corner of the welfare office and then I could chant audibly, at least loud enough for me to hear. A good place to do that was on the second floor in the soundproof booths where caseworkers dictated their day’s interviews in order to be typed up. You would take your recorder up there and start speaking into the machine: “I visited Mrs. Sally Burns at 62 Suffolk St. She is receiving aid for dependent children. She requests a refrigerator. . . .” Then a pause. This was a good place to do it\u2014”Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare . . .” When I chanted softly but intensely, I felt as if I was pushing away the whole Manhattan welfare department and all their crazy clients and office girls and office men. . . . Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. In my mind’s eye I could sense the presence of Swamiji. And I spoke and prayed to him, “Swamiji, please let me get through this job for you and make money so the temple can run and you can spread Krishna consciousness. Please protect me. Nrsimhadeva, Prahlada, please protect me. If someone came by and eyed me suspiciously, I went back to dictating my welfare case. Or I took out my poem-in-progress: <\/p>\n

I say I want to get out\/ to where\/ You are\/ to be at Your feet\u2014\/ but what do I do? Why<\/p>\n

don’t I answer every question<\/p>\n

with Visnu?<\/p>\n

Why do I flinch\/ when they ask me why I’m flowering<\/p>\n

just by the thought of You?<\/p>\n

\u2014You the indweller in all of us\u2014\/Visnu-in-me! <\/p>\n

<\/a>Chanting without beads wasn’t as nice, and so I would think of my red japa<\/i> beads and hanker to return to them. As the morning got late, my hunger would increase\u2014it would not be long before lunch hour when I would be able to get out and go to see the Swami. There was always at least one important question on my mind which I wanted to ask him, or a realization that I wished to share. One time I went and told the Swami, “When I’m in the office I can feel the miseries you talked about, birth, death, disease and old age, and I can actually feel that I’m overcoming them.” Swamiji liked that and said, “Yes, but almost no one knows this. They put these problems aside, and yet everyone is being forced to die and grow old and be born again. For a devotee, these things are easily overcome.\u201d <\/p>\n

My practice of karma-yoga<\/i> was a daily struggle, but the Swami was always there to make it victorious. Swamiji said, “Satsvarupa and Brahmananda are paying our entire expenses by their work.” That’s what made it possible, to know that you were doing something worthwhile. I never had such a warm feeling in my own family as I grew up. But now I was Swamiji’s son, part of a big family, and so I worked for that.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 15, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

You Know What I Was <\/p>\n

(In the mood of Satsvarupa das Brahamacari)<\/p>\n

Swamiji, you know what I was; <\/p>\n

you can see it in me still. <\/p>\n

It’s obnoxious, my mind <\/p>\n

filled with obscenities <\/p>\n

even if I don’t speak them anymore. <\/p>\n

So much semen wasted <\/p>\n

and my brains scattered by LSD. <\/p>\n

That time I sat before you <\/p>\n

and imitated a yogi in lotus trance, <\/p>\n

what did I think I was doing <\/p>\n

to come into your presence like that? <\/p>\n

I argued against your statement <\/p>\n

that there was no need to read <\/p>\n

other scriptures besides the Vedas<\/i>. <\/p>\n

And I complained, “I’m trying <\/p>\n

to appreciate Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, so why <\/p>\n

do you have to throw in mind-blowers <\/p>\n

about Krishna’s marrying 16,000 wives?” <\/p>\n

They ask me why I didn’t write a diary; <\/p>\n

maybe because it’s too much madness. <\/p>\n

I had to relearn everything <\/p>\n

and it took some time <\/p>\n

before writing became <\/p>\n

useful for your service. <\/p>\n

There was no need to tell you, Swamiji, <\/p>\n

all the gory details, <\/p>\n

but I could have written down <\/p>\n

how it was sweet in the morning <\/p>\n

to be with you for Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i>. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When you said, “If you love me, then I’ll love you,” <\/p>\n

I should have written it down right away. <\/p>\n

I’m sorry it’s mostly all a blank. <\/p>\n

But thank you for coming. <\/p>\n

You are saving me. <\/p>\n

I don’t want to ever forget or think <\/p>\n

your help was incidental, as if I were almost-spiritual <\/p>\n

and you just added a few touches. <\/p>\n

Until only a few days ago <\/p>\n

I didn’t have a beadbag; <\/p>\n

I thought you were going to teach the <\/p>\n

Tibetan Book of the Dead<\/i>; <\/p>\n

I’d never seen a picture of Krishna. <\/p>\n

I thought everything was One <\/p>\n

and that I was the center, <\/p>\n

and sorry for myself, love-starved, food-starved. <\/p>\n

You saved me. <\/p>\n

October 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Inquiring from the Learned Spiritual Master <\/p>\n

(In the mood of Satsvarupa das Brahmacari 1966) <\/p>\n

Swamiji, I’m with my new godbrothers in ISKCON. <\/p>\n

We all agree you are a \u201cself-realized soul,\u201d <\/p>\n

although we don’t know exactly <\/p>\n

what that means. <\/p>\n

So we are going to ask you. <\/p>\n

I also want to ask you: <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is Visnu?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I keep up a taste for Krishna consciousness?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you spell Sanatan?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is the difference between Brahma, Brahman and brahmana<\/i>?\u201d \u201cShould we take a cold shower?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does my name mean?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cWhen can we expect to become pure devotees, if ever?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cHow did the souls fall here, and where does it say so in scripture?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cCan we read Bhaktivinode Thakura?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna<\/i>?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cShould we remain brahmacari<\/i>?\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Does it disturb you that we ask so many questions? <\/p>\n

Like one night I told you some things <\/p>\n

that I’d read in a Gaudiya Math book <\/p>\n

and asked you a few questions and then you said, <\/p>\n

\u201cGo downstairs now and let me do my work.\u201d <\/p>\n

I’m sorry to pester you. <\/p>\n

What I really want to know are things <\/p>\n

I probably can’t know yet\u2014 <\/p>\n

like the future, or advanced spiritual topics <\/p>\n

and technical teachings too, like <\/p>\n

at the time of death do we retain <\/p>\n

consciousness into the next life? <\/p>\n

I think you answered that once <\/p>\n

but I didn’t grasp it. <\/p>\n

We have to wait for the answers, right? <\/p>\n

Also, many of my questions get answered <\/p>\n

during the time when you walk <\/p>\n

from the side door of the storefront <\/p>\n

up to the dais. I mean <\/p>\n

as soon as I see you, they are answered. <\/p>\n

So mainly I have no questions except one <\/p>\n

that I don’t even want to think of\u2014 <\/p>\n

Will you stay with us? <\/p>\n

Oh, and what about those four counter beads besides the sixteen? <\/p>\n

Someone said every time we do sixteen rounds we push one. <\/p>\n

And are there more songs you could teach us? <\/p>\n

October 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I Want to Say <\/p>\n

(In the mood of Satsvarupa das Brahmacari 1966)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji, you’ve made my life happy and you give hope for the future life: You’ve given us the most relishable, all-attractive Personality of Godhead. <\/p>\n

I want to thank you by becoming your menial servant. <\/p>\n

You talk with us as if it’s normal for you, <\/p>\n

but you are an intelligent, spiritual aristocrat <\/p>\n

and we were ganja<\/i> smokers, meat-eaters and other things <\/p>\n

I needn’t mention. You seem glad to see us, <\/p>\n

especially when we meet in your room and we ask you <\/p>\n

about the spiritual world <\/p>\n

and we also talk about this world. <\/p>\n

I want to tell you, you are cleaning my heart <\/p>\n

and my body and mind \u2014 I was so egocentric! <\/p>\n

(I still am, but it was much worse.) <\/p>\n

You’re giving me God, <\/p>\n

and there’s no way I can repay such a gift. <\/p>\n

I knew priests before but <\/p>\n

they couldn’t figure me out. <\/p>\n

My father said I was “a Greek tragedy waiting to happen”. <\/p>\n

You’re the one in my life. <\/p>\n

I want to say it and use my life as your servant, <\/p>\n

along with your other disciples. <\/p>\n

I like to work for you at the welfare office. <\/p>\n

Please give me more typing of Bhagavatam,<\/i> <\/p>\n

and I like to change the titles of your lecture <\/p>\n

on the sign in the storefront window. <\/p>\n

Please give me more to do. <\/p>\n

I’m young and can do things, <\/p>\n

although mostly I’m incapable. <\/p>\n

You could really use competent <\/p>\n

well-to-do disciples, people with brains <\/p>\n

for dealing with the world, <\/p>\n

and people with pure hearts and humble natures, <\/p>\n

or good philosophers and organizers, <\/p>\n

at least simple, rugged souls <\/p>\n

ready to do whatever you ask, <\/p>\n

ready to transform themselves <\/p>\n

into preachers because you have asked for it. <\/p>\n

I’m none of those good things, <\/p>\n

but you don’t hold it against me. <\/p>\n

You act as if I am something good <\/p>\n

and you give me the name Satsvarupa das,<\/p>\n

“Truth Personified \u2014 the servant of.” <\/p>\n

Also I want to say I like the mantra describing you as <\/p>\n

“Very dear to Krishna on this earth.” <\/p>\n

That’s you. Because you have \u201ctaken shelter <\/p>\n

at the lotus feet of the transcendental Lord\u201d. <\/p>\n

I love the way you translate. <\/p>\n

I want to offer you my obeisances <\/p>\n

and do your work my whole life.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cHe Saved Me\u201d <\/p>\n

One can meditate on one’s relationship with Srila Prabhupada in many ways. One way to quickly evoke gratitude toward the spiritual master is to think of how he saved you. Srila Prabhupada used to think of his Guru Maharaja in this way. On several occasions Prabhupada was overcome with emotion as he said, “He saved me,” and “He pulled me out of material life.” <\/p>\n

While narrating the early life of Narada Muni, Prabhupada informs us that all bona fide acaryas<\/i> work to rescue fallen souls: <\/p>\n

The bhaktivedantas<\/i> see that the people in general are wasting time in false, sensuous things. Their business is to get the ignorant mass of people to re-establish the lost relationship with the Personality of Godhead. By such endeavor, even the most forgotten soul is roused up to the sense of spiritual life, and thus being initiated by the bhaktivedantas<\/i>, the people in general gradually progress on the path of transcendental realization. <\/p>\n

(Bhag<\/i>. 1.5.24, purport) <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We may also profit by meditating on the words \u201ccauseless mercy.\u201d We did not deserve the great fortune of Prabhupada’s association. Neither did he come under the force of karmic cause and effect. He didn’t come seeking a personal gain. There was no reason for him to come except for the loving desire of the Supreme Lord to bring all separated parts and parcels back to Godhead. Prabhupada’s causeless mercy is materially inconceivable, but it is a fact that we have become touched by his grace. <\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada has also advised us to remember what we were before we were saved by His Divine Grace. We should \u201cbe conscious of the difference between our present and past conditions and be always careful not to fall from the most exalted life.\u201d (Bhagavatam<\/i> 6.2.27, purport) When we think of our lives before and after meeting Srila Prabhupada, we are very grateful and happy, yet we should also be sorry that we were so entangled in sinful life. Both lines of thinking should be kept alive: <\/p>\n

It is the duty of a pure devotee to regret his past sinful activities in illicit sex, intoxication, meat-eating and gambling. Not only should one give up his past bad habits, but he must always regret his past sinful acts. This is the standard of pure devotion. (Bhagavatam<\/i> 6.2.27, purport) <\/p>\n

Gratitude for the causeless mercy of Srila Prabhupada impels us to act on his behalf as his disciples. And while acting in this way, one should be always conscious \u2013 both in general and in details \u2013 as to how the pure devotee came and pulled us out.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Other Day <\/p>\n

(In the mood of Satsvarupa das Brahmacari 1966)<\/p>\n

The other day I came to you, Swamiji, <\/p>\n

after I’d just talked with my father on the phone. <\/p>\n

He said he didn’t like Krishna or the Swami, <\/p>\n

and he said he and my mom <\/p>\n

will have nothing to do with me until I quit. <\/p>\n

I was teary-eyed when I spoke this to you <\/p>\n

and don’t remember what you said (should have written it down). <\/p>\n

But I remember your eyes smiled <\/p>\n

when you saw that I’m definitely your son. <\/p>\n

Please keep me that way. <\/p>\n

Although I’m old enough to live <\/p>\n

without my mom and dad, <\/p>\n

spiritually speaking, I’m only three months old. <\/p>\n

My upbringing was so bad <\/p>\n

that I think insulting thoughts in your presence, <\/p>\n

and I tend to disbelieve the scriptures. <\/p>\n

But I’m sure it will come out all right. <\/p>\n

And you say that you are sure too, <\/p>\n

as long as I stick to it. <\/p>\n

I need you to correct me, <\/p>\n

but I can’t take stern reprimands. <\/p>\n

You know this and so you’re always easy with me. <\/p>\n

I just want to say that I appreciate it, <\/p>\n

although I wish I were made of stronger stuff. <\/p>\n

(When I told you I sleep only five hours like the Six Gosvamis <\/p>\n

you were not impressed. <\/p>\n

You scoffed at me, “You are not a Gosvami!” <\/p>\n

I really liked that one.) <\/p>\n

Please teach me the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, <\/p>\n

tell me of Nanda and Yasoda’s son, <\/p>\n

tell me every morning of Lord Caitanya <\/p>\n

and please never stop. <\/p>\n

And as you get to know me <\/p>\n

and see I’m shot with vices \u2014 unclean, <\/p>\n

can’t sit up straight, can’t remember, <\/p>\n

don’t have pure faith to carry out orders \u2014 <\/p>\n

please know that despite all my faults, <\/p>\n

I really think I can make it <\/p>\n

and be a follower of yours <\/p>\n

my whole life <\/p>\n

if you’ll accept me. <\/p>\n

That’s what I’m asking.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 20, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Living Together in the Early Days <\/p>\n

Gradually it became apparent to me that I should share my apartment with others. So one day while taking breakfast with the devotees at the storefront, I made a little announcement that they could use the bathroom in my apartment in the morning. By the next day I had roommates, and my apartment had become an asrama<\/i>. <\/p>\n

Everything was fresh and new in those days, and the concept of living in the association of devotees was a happy one. I thought of it as a trade: I was giving up something nice (to live alone), but it would be replaced by something even better (the association of the Vaisnavas). I stepped forward enthusiastically to do what was required. Sometimes when I would come home from work and find a few devotees asleep on the mattress, I would feel a twinge of regret. The sanctity of my space seemed disturbed. More often, however, the community spirit felt good, and we were all close friends. <\/p>\n

ISKCON grew into an organization by gradual increments, and nothing was ever forced upon us by the Swami. Everything was voluntary. To the outsiders he would say, \u201cYou can see for yourself or speak with the boys who are here with me. They’re working twenty-four hours a day for Krishna. Just see how they’re feeling the good results.\u201d His plan was that people should do things together in a group, and he invited everyone to be a part of it. <\/p>\n

Most of us didn’t come with a deliberate desire to join a group. We went to see the Swami in the informal gatherings in his room, and bit by bit we found ourselves doing the same things together. At first Prabhupada was cooking for himself and eating alone. Then Kirtanananda began to cook for him and a few others, and soon a dozen were meeting every day for lunch. That was the lunch group. And then there was a group who came for the morning classes and a group who came for the evening classes. For the most part, they happened to be the same people. When Swamiji said that he needed help with his typing and editing, I typed and Hayagriva edited \u2014another cooperation. And some came forward and gave him money to pay for his expenses. When he formed his incorporated society, ISKCON, that really brought things together and made his purposes obvious. We didn’t understand it all at once, but gradually, as it built up.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 21, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Saving Grace <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He saved me when I was in the darkness of ignorance. We should not forget, but keep alive, the memory of our conversion. Gratitude to Srila Prabhupada as the one who saved us is more than gratitude for a past favor. Rather, we are in constant need of his saving grace, and he is always ready to protect us. Even after diksa<\/i>, a disciple is constantly tested by maya<\/i>. There is every chance that one may fall down again and return to former ways. Even Lord Brahma is subject to illusion and suffering, and so he turns to the Lord: “I pray that in the course of my material activities I may not be deviated from the vibration of the Vedic hymns.” (Bhag<\/i>. 3.9.24) <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada comments on this prayer: <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBrahma, as the supermost brahmana<\/i>, is afraid of a falldown, and therefore he prays to the Lord for protection. This is a warning for one and all in the spiritual advancement of life. Unless one is sufficiently protected by the Lord, he may fall down from his spiritual position; therefore, one has to pray constantly to the Lord for protection and the blessing to carry out one’s duty.\u201d (Bhag<\/i>. 3.9.24, purport) <\/p>\n

In the case of Lord Brahma, the Supreme Lord was his direct spiritual master, but in everyone else’s case, we should turn to both guru and Krishna. Our need for this relationship is an ongoing one, and this is another proof that the relationship is not diminished by time or confined to one act which our guru performed when we were neophytes and needed an initial pick-me-up. <\/p>\n

At the time of Srila Prabhupada’s disappearance from this world, his followers were forced to learn that their relationship with him continued by service in separation. Previous to Prabhupada’s disappearance, we had heard of serving in separation, but now we had to learn it as a substantial fact of life. The fact that Prabhupada’s followers could continue as before and increase their feelings of devotion, and even increase their serving capacity, proved that he was very much still with them. <\/p>\n

Although in certain ways we may have grown up and matured, we remain disciples of Srila Prabhupada. After a few years of experience, the disciple knows what he is supposed to do, and so he follows the rules and regulations and discharges routine duties. He doesn’t need to be constantly told these things. One also comes to know that the strength for performing devotional service is given by Lord Krishna in the form of transcendental knowledge. But even when one knows these facts, and preaches about them to others, the active ingredient is always the guru’s mercy. <\/p>\n

A warrior may possess a good weapon, but unless he has the strength to pick it up and use it, he will be defeated. The strength for fighting maya<\/i> is a spiritual strength (bala<\/i>) which is given by the grace of Lord Balarama. The spiritual master is the representative of Lord Balarama, and so it’s to him we should pray for ongoing protection. (We may make a distinction here between meditation and prayer. Prayer is a type of meditation, but with the emphasis on personal importuning. In the example of Lord Brahma previously quoted, he was petitioning the Supreme Lord and urgently requesting His help.) Prabhupada states, “The only prayer to make to Krishna is, ‘Dear Lord, please give me the strength to serve You.’ Any other prayer you’ll never be happy.” (Lecture, August 1975) <\/p>\n

<\/a>As Prabhupada’s mercy is the constant factor for spiritual success, so his disfavor will be the direct cause of falldown. Therefore, we should always be aware of the gross and subtle forms of guru-aparadha<\/i>. But all dangers on the path, such as continued temptations from maya<\/i>, or the committing of offenses to the guru, can be mitigated by sincere attempts to follow the teachings of Lord Krishna as given by His pure devotee. We need not be depressed by the fact that we’re always in need of help and that there is danger at every step. All we need is to be constantly aware of our weakness and turn to the one who can save us. As Prabhupada advises, \u201cWe must simply pray, ‘Krishna, please pick me up.\u2019\u201d Not just once.<\/p>\n

October 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Another Sunday with Swamiji <\/p>\n

I go up to the Swami’s room and the door is open. I can see Jadurani back at her place. She must have eaten prasadam<\/i> quickly and come right up, and now she is singing the Hare Krishna mantra and tinkling the brush in the glass. She paints a little on her canvas, then tinkles it in the glass to wipe it off, and then paints again. There are some guests in the Swami’s room and he’s speaking to them. So I’ll go in and sit down. The Swami is saying that there are symptoms of advancement in Krishna consciousness. You feel you should take down notes of what he’s saying because you have not heard this before. Right away you ask yourself, “Do I have these symptoms of advancement?” He says one symptom is that you’re not attached to the things of this world. You’re also not lusty or greedy for material things because you’re satisfied in Krishna. Hearing the Swami, you’re amazed at how he knows everything and speaks in such an ordered way, authoritative and very relaxed. The room is warm and he’s sitting back, with his dhoti<\/i> hitched up a bit so that you can see his satiny skin up to the knee. He looks at me but doesn’t say anything because he’s really absorbed in talking, and I’m just glad that I’m there. I’m included and listening. <\/p>\n

After a while I ask a question \u2014 “Are there more symptoms of advancement?” He says that another symptom is that you’re not afraid. There’s no fear because you know that even if you die, you don’t die. You are an eternal self. Some of the guests don’t agree with him. They make points and then the Swami counters again. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

While he’s talking, Swamiji seems to take notice of the typing that’s in my hand. He says, “What is that? Do you have some typing for me?” “Yes.” You come forward on your knees and put the manuscript before him. He touches it, looks at it in an offhand way and goes back to preaching. But then a few minutes later he looks at you and asks, “Do you have more work?” “Yes, I have more.” <\/p>\n

I had been feeling sleepy over at my apartment and thinking, “Oh well, I can go and see him in the morning.” But I’m glad I decided to come and see him, because this is where I really want to be. As the evening gets later, Acyutananda looks in and asks, “Swamiji, would you like something to eat? Would you like some puffed rice?” Some of the guests realize how late it is and say that they’ll have to leave. I think I should leave also and give the Swami some time to himself. Finally we all get up and start for the door. Swamiji says, “I need some time to work on the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>.” Then he says, “The store will be open tomorrow morning at six o’clock.” By the store he means himself. A man says, “I have to get back to the Bronx and the daily grind again. It sure has been nice being able to talk with you, Swamiji. And I hope I can follow some of these principles.” Everyone leaves Swamiji alone. Jadurani stays in her corner, painting. I could stay too, but I’m going to go. I’ll be back in the morning. We bow down and say goodnight, and somewhat reluctantly leave Swamiji. He’s smiling to us, and we know we’ll be able to come back soon. As I walk home, I picture the Swamiji in his room, alone, typing Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. <\/p>\n

October 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Typing for the Swami <\/p>\n

Typing is yoga. You sit on the floor cross-legged in front of the typewriter. Instead of performing pranayama<\/i> and raising the life air in the chakras<\/i>, you type the words of Swamiji from the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> manuscript. Concentrate and type, incorporating all the editing marks made by Hayagriva. If you make a mistake in typing, then stop and correct it. Everything is concentrated on looking at the message and making it right. Thinking of your typing as yoga gives a nice spirit to the work. But the most important thing is that it is in connection with the Swamiji. It is his words of Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. I kept pounding them out. When I was supposed to be calling on welfare clients, I would often drop in at my apartment and do an hour of typing, always pushing it on. The Swami was aware of what I was doing. He asked about the progress, and when I handed the work in, he handled it and said it was nice. We were both interested in these clean white pages with typing marks on them, his work. It was very dear to him. <\/p>\n

He had bundles of thousands of pages that he had typed, wrapped up in saffron and lying on the floor in his closet. When he first took some typing out of this mass of material and gave it to me, I remarked, “I think you have enough work to last me a whole winter.” Swamiji laughed and said, “I have many lifetimes of work for you.” <\/p>\n

After I’d been doing it for some months, Swamiji started using a dictaphone. One day I stopped in at his apartment in the middle of my office workday to put in an hour on his manuscript. Swamiji kept the dictaphone covered in his room, except when it was in use. When I went in and got it, he noticed that I was dressed in shirt and tie from the office. He remarked, “You are still at your office work?” I replied, “Yes, but I go out to see clients. Right now, instead of seeing them, I’m coming to do this work. I’m like Sanatana Gosvami who stayed away from work in order to read the Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>.” As I said that, I was holding the dictaphone and heading for the next room where Jadurani was painting, where the clotheslines were strung with Swamiji’s clothes and where the jar of ISKCON bullets was waiting in the corner. As I left his room, Swamiji smiled and said, “You are Sanatana.” <\/p>\n

Sometimes when I was typing in his second room, he would walk in and see what I and the others were doing. One time I stopped and said, “Swamiji, you just said on this tape that the four Kumaras are eternal brahmacaris<\/i>. How is that, that they could be eternal brahmacaris<\/i>?” He’d reply, and then I’d go back into samadhi<\/i>, locked into hearing his phrases and hearing the philosophy while typing. The typing work didn’t go through any secretary of Prabhupada’s, but direct from him to me. When I returned a batch he asked, \u201cIs everything all right?” <\/p>\n

“Oh fine, Swamiji,” I said. “I’m really enjoying typing the sixth chapter of Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. It’s wonderful how Krishna consciousness is the same as the yogis except that we have more facility because the yogi can see Krishna only when he sits down and gets deep into meditation. But a devotee can see Krishna in His picture or chant His holy names.” It wasn’t artificial for me to engage in krsna-katha<\/i> about what I’d just been reading because I was filled with it by the typing. At least I could read something and then repeat it exactly as I had heard it. <\/p>\n

In a practical way, I was connected to him, and my mind was saturated with Krishna-thought. You knew that you couldn’t do nonsense because you had to type. Your time was taken up; you had to get up early, chant your rounds, type, go to work. A full life. <\/p>\n

Swamiji said never be idle. He had written an announcement and posted it on the wall: Always be engaged, and if you don’t have any work, then chant Hare Krishna. This is how we worked for the Swami; different boys did different things.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Stanzas of 1966 <\/p>\n

(In the mood of Satsvarupa das Brahmacari 1966)<\/p>\n

1.<\/p>\n

Swamiji, you said, “If you are not ashamed <\/p>\n

you can wear your japa<\/i> beads around your necks.\u201d <\/p>\n

And you said, “Thank you very much” <\/p>\n

when I shaved my head. <\/p>\n

People jeer at us sometimes on the streets, <\/p>\n

but we remember you and Krishna <\/p>\n

and it’s all right. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

2.<\/p>\n

I go to work with tilaka<\/i> on my forehead <\/p>\n

because I want to show them I’m a Vaisnava, <\/p>\n

and because the marks of Visnu are beautiful. <\/p>\n

3.<\/p>\n

I’m not afraid to go out <\/p>\n

to Saint Mark’s Place <\/p>\n

and start calling out loud, <\/p>\n

“Back to Godhead magazine! <\/p>\n

The yoga of ecstasy! <\/p>\n

Read how, by chanting Hare Krishna, <\/p>\n

you can attain the state of bliss of love of God!” <\/p>\n

4. <\/p>\n

I’m reading no more books, Swamiji, <\/p>\n

except yours. And eating <\/p>\n

no food, except yours. <\/p>\n

The renounced saintly life <\/p>\n

I’d read about is coming true. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

5. <\/p>\n

Sometimes when a night starts out <\/p>\n

I’m feeling doubtful, <\/p>\n

or I may not like somebody, <\/p>\n

but once we get into the kirtana<\/i> <\/p>\n

I go with you to Krishna<\/p>\n

and everything’s all right.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

How Much Should I Beg? <\/p>\n

How important is this little project of marking Srila Prabhupada\u2019s 50th anniversary as the Founder-Acarya of ISKCON with meditations on his glorious 1966 New York City days and significance in devotees\u2019 lives? If it’s not <\/i>important, why am I doing it? If it is<\/i> important, why don’t I call out louder to Krishna, begging Him and Srila Prabhupada to manifest themselves fully? My initial response to this is, \u201cI’m dedicated to my writing project. Let me get up early and do my writing, and whatever Krishna wants to send, I’ll accept it as prasadam<\/i>. There’s no use in calling out louder. I don’t want to bother the Lord or Prabhupada, and besides that, they are already blessing me.\u201d <\/p>\n

Prabhupada teaches that our prayers should be reserved for sentiments like, “Please give me the strength to serve You.” He advises us, \u201cFor any activity done in devotional service, one should always pray to the previous acaryas<\/i> to \u2018Kindly help me.\u2019\u201d And yet I can’t help but feel reluctant to call out and be too demanding about my own project. But this raises questions. On the one hand, one should work humbly, not making demands of the Lord; on the other hand, we’re advised that the price of love of God is laulyam<\/i>, intense desire to serve the Lord. One should desire to perform some service and cry tears \u2014 and those tears are the price of your devotion. Since I am not crying out so much, maybe I should ask myself, “Why don’t I want it more badly?” Perhaps I’m afraid I may be asking the Lord to make me a famous writer so that people will say, \u201cYou wrote such brilliant meditations about Prabhupada. You’re empowered! You must be very close to him.\u201d If I actually take pleasure in hearing such praise, then my prayers to further glorify Prabhupada will be impure. Yet one cries out to Krishna in different ways. It doesn’t have to be literally looking upwards and crying out loud, \u201cKrishna, please help me!\u201d One can cry out by getting up early, writing as much as possible, trying always to think of Prabhupada, and taking notes about it. One expresses oneself to the Lord by those endeavors. <\/p>\n

Sometimes it seems to me that the only prayer we should make is a prayer like that of Vasudeva Datta or Jesus Christ, asking the Lord to please save all the conditioned souls of the world. \u201cLet there be no more suffering, but let everyone go back to Godhead.\u201d Pure devotees who pray like that go beyond the standard and dare to call upon the Lord to be even more merciful. They offer themselves as sacrifices for this cause. Certainly my asking for the potency to write about Prabhupada is a request for a relatively minor thing (although not minor to me). Of course, if Krishna wanted, He could make these books so attractive that it would create a wonderful revival in Prabhupada-remembrance. At any rate, whether I call out loudly or not, I take this project seriously and I am praying by working at it. While I cannot sincerely pray for release of all living entities, I have come to do this seva<\/i> unto the pure devotee, Srila Prabhupada. I know there are other important projects being done in ISKCON, and many may think those projects even more important. But I’m doing the best I can. <\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada also advises that we regard our offering as imperfect and small. We know that there’s nothing we can really do to impress Krishna in terms of a perfect offering. So we should pray to the Lord, “I’m offensive, I’m imperfect, and my offering is not wonderful. Please excuse me and please accept me.” This is the Vaisnava mood, to submit oneself as unworthy: “Dear Srila Prabhupada, I’ve come here to try to write of you in 1966 because I think it is important to expand remembrances of the pastimes of the saktyavesa-avatara<\/i> and the Lord. We want to remember you. If you desire, please make this not just my own feeble memory or commentary, but make it wonderful. And in any case, please accept my offering.\u201d I hope Prabhupada will be pleased, but I think that his pleasure will come when he sees me working as best I can. Then Krishna may think, “Just see how much this devotee wants to remember My pure devotee, Srila Prabhupada.” Also, if I can work at it nicely, Srila Prabhupada will enjoy being reminded again of his early days. The question is, how much should I beg? One begs according to his particular mood or rasa<\/i>. I should not be passive in the name of humility, or refrain from asking the Lord at every step for His mercy. Prabhupada has advised us to do this: \u201cPlease help me. I can’t write. It’s not possible.\u201d With every line we should think, “Please, I can’t remember Prabhupada. It’s not possible. Please help me to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 26, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Reviving a \u201cCanned\u201d Swamiji Memory <\/p>\n

I want to remember the time when Prabhupada accepted a daily mango from me. The amazing thing is that Srila Prabhupada used to remember this insignificant act, and even in his very last weeks in Vrindavana, while recalling the happy days at 26 Second Avenue he said, “Satsvarupa would bring me a mango.” So there was something about it that I wish to remember. But when I try to recall the exchange, I come up with only the same old memory. I complained about this to myself, to the memory “file clerk” whose job it is to keep all these memories intact. He began to answer me back: <\/p>\n

File Clerk: “You have spoken in a deriding way about canned memories. But the very thing you deride is also a strength. Time after time when you want to recall something, I’ve got it and I can supply it. You feel it’s stale by repeating it, but what can I say? At least you have them. And you can feel sure about these memories\u2014they’re reliable. The fact that you don’t experience all the emotions you’d like to and all the colors you’d like to see, and that fact that you’re really not there as a person, but it’s the information presented in a codified way, well what can I say? A memory is what it is. So take it and appreciate it.” <\/p>\n

When the file clerk spoke up so strongly, I began to pacify him, telling him my appreciation for his work. It’s true he’s kept important facts for history. But what about the actual experience? We didn’t appreciate how important Srila Prabhupada was. Now we understand that even things in relation to him which seemed unimportant at the time, were certainly worth keeping. Nothing should have been rejected. And so without criticizing the memories that still exist, I pointed out to my clerk that we should make more effort to remember Srila Prabhupada and not claim “that’s all there is.” <\/p>\n

To this file clerk I replied: “I admit that memory is very deep and elusive: the ways of the mind are unknown to me also. I did not deliberately reject anything about Prabhupada, but we are all subjected to forgetfulness. Ultimately, Krishna is the final decider on these things. From Him comes knowledge, memory and forgetfulness. If He wants us to suddenly remember Srila Prabhupada, then that’s a great blessing on us, and if He wants us to forget something, it is our fate to accept that. The files of memory have no bottom to them, and so we can go as deep as possible and still keep going. If you like, we can do it together and keep trying.” <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

And so I researched for hours, but I found nothing new. I have resigned myself, at least for now, to offering to the reader the same dal<\/i>, rice and capatis<\/i> that I’ve offered before, in hopes that someone out there is hungry for more of the same. In support of repetition, I may offer this statement by Srila Prabhupada: “That question we have already discussed, but there is no harm discussing it again, because any substantial knowledge, if it is discussed one after another, twice, thrice, it is better.” <\/p>\n

(Lecture on Bg<\/i>. 2.13, March 1966) <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 27, 2016<\/b> <\/p>\n

A Mango for the Swami <\/p>\n

The Swami mentioned mangoes. He told the story of his spiritual master, who when he was only two or three years old, ate a mango without offering it to the Deity. When his father (Bhaktivinode Thakura) told him that this was an offense, the young child vowed never to eat mango again. Prabhupada told us that we Americans could not fully estimate what a sacrifice that was, since in India the mango is appreciated as the most delicious of all fruits. Prabhupada also recalled that when he was a boy, they always had plenty of mangoes\u2014he remembered running into the house from play and grabbing a mango whenever he liked. And Swamiji one time mentioned that mangoes were not available in America. <\/p>\n

So one day while at the welfare office and thinking of Swamiji, I remembered his mention of the mango and decided that I would get him one. I went to a produce store on the corner of First Street and First Avenue and asked the man for a mango. He had none on display, but brought me back to a refrigerated room in the rear of the store where he had a special case for connoisseurs. One mango cost one dollar. It was small but nice, soft but not too soft, green and golden. I took it carefully in a bag and brought it at once to Swamiji. <\/p>\n

Swamiji smiled and received the mango graciously. He asked me where I got it. After that, I stopped every day at the grocer and got another mango. When I had been doing this for two weeks, I came again one day when Swamiji’s room was filled with boys. The Mott Street boys were there, and they made me feel a twinge of envy. They didn’t do much work or raise any money, and yet they were able to stay more with Swamiji than I was. So I gave the mango to Swamiji and sat down with the others. Even as I did so, Swamiji said, “Very good boy.” He said it the way you would speak to a very young child. The boys burst out laughing. I blushed and felt I was the butt of a joke. But then Swamiji said, “No, this is love. This is Krishna consciousness.” And then I felt very pleased. <\/p>\n

October 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Summer Morning (In the mood of Satsvarupa dasa Brahmachari) <\/p>\n

I’m in my room up at 2 A.M., thinking of Krishna and Swamiji, or I should say, “Thinking of Swamiji,” ’cause I can’t really think yet of the Supreme Lord. But I have my red beads and I’m fighting sleep. I don’t know anything, but I’ll see my spiritual master in just a few hours. I’ll walk to the storefront, sit inside and he’ll come looking very serious and calm. He’ll begin to sing, “Softly, softly,” while the sunbeams filter dust motes and the first garbage cans start clanging. I’ll be listening to the new knowledge of Lord Caitanya\u2019s teaching to Sanatana Goswami. (I think that’s how you spell it.) Swamiji doesn’t talk long in the morning ’cause Rupanuga and I have to get to work. That’s blissful too, saying goodbye to Swamiji and the boys, and then I’m on my own. I take my necktie out of my back pocket and tie it on as I walk, buttoning my jacket, feeling cowherd-boy bliss after two bowls of heavenly porridge with ISKCON bullet juice. Into that sad-glad atmosphere of the downtown street. I’m alone, but no longer alone. The Cowherd Boy Govinda, the Supreme Personality, who Swamiji loves and wants us to love\u2014He seems to be calling me\u2014 I seem to be one of His frolicking friends and my necktie is like some paraphernalia for Govinda’s sports. I can’t explain it. But all I know is that before I met the Swami, going to work was never like this! <\/p>\n

October 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Teachings are Not Like a Computer <\/p>\n

One can start with any thought and soon connect to a teaching by Srila Prabhupada. This makes us aware that we are always in the shelter of Srila Prabhupada. But it is not enough to know what Prabhupada said on many subjects, and to be able to bring them up like an index or computer. It has to be done with the devotion of a disciple. If we are expert at recalling instructions by Prabhupada in order to sanction our sense gratification, this is not a high order of Prabhupada-thought. Neither can that kind of following of Srila Prabhupada last for very long; it will leave us open to a falldown. <\/p>\n

\u201c. . . The practice of sense gratification under regulations may also lead one to go astray\u2014as much as there is always the chance of an accident, even on the royal roads… therefore any attachment for regulated sense enjoyment must also be avoided by all means. But attachment to Krishna consciousness, or acting in the loving service of Krishna, detaches one from all kinds of sensory activities. Therefore, no one should try to be detached from Krishna consciousness at any stage of life.\u201d (Bg<\/i>. 3.34, purport) <\/p>\n

The vital element in thinking of Prabhupada is the spirit for rendering service. Srila Prabhupada has explained this while describing the difference between the santa<\/i> and dasya rasa<\/i> with the Supreme Lord. If a person discovers that he has an intimate relationship with a great man of this world, this will make one happy. Similarly, when we understand that we have a relationship with Krishna, that is a sublime meditation. A more advanced and grateful person, however, will want to go forward and ask the great personality whether he can render some service in his cause. <\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada said the only question he asked of Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura was, “How can I serve you?” This is certainly better than seeking out the presence of the guru in order to get sanction for our own desires. If we can regularly think, “How can I serve you?” then we will be in the higher state of Prabhupada remembrance. If we are entangled or unable to serve Prabhupada as much as we know we should, still we should think of rendering service to him. Even the thinking will be accepted as favorable. Whatever we are actually able to render as service should be done with devotion. Srila Prabhupada said (describing the attitude of a pure devotee of the Lord), \u201c\u2018Kindly accept whatever little service I can give.\u2019 In this way be humble and offer your feeling, and Krishna will be satisfied.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 30, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

A Letter to Rayarama dasa Brahmachari (from Satsvarupa dasa Brahmachari) <\/p>\n

Dear Rayarama, <\/p>\n

I’m an old friend of yours from the Krishna consciousness movement, Satsvarupa dasa. It’s been more than two decades since you left Krishna consciousness, and probably you’ve forgotten it. But please let me explain why I’m writing to you. I still follow the teachings of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Recently, I’ve been trying to remember my first days of meeting and serving the Swamiji back in 1966 on the Lower East Side. Along with recalling the Swami, I have rediscovered many memories of my friendship with you, and they are fond ones. Therefore, I wanted to share them with you. <\/p>\n

You were the first devotee who ever spoke to me. I wandered into the storefront at 26 Second Avenue, attracted by the advertisement for Bhagavad-gita<\/i> classes which was taped to the front window. I felt shy, but you broke the ice and asked me my name and made me feel welcome. You were always warm and affectionate in that way. Although you had been following the Swami only a few weeks before I joined, I looked up to you, and you were able to answer some of my foolish questions. For example, after attending the Swami’s classes on Bhagavad-gita<\/i> for a week, I asked you, \u201cWhat scripture will the Swami be teaching next week? I would like to hear The Tibetan Book of the Dead<\/i>\u201d. You laughed and said that according to the Swami, all spiritual teachings were contained in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, so there was no need for a survey on Eastern religions. <\/p>\n

The first initiation the Swami held in America was on Lord Krishna’s birthday (Janmastami) in the summer of ’66, when you were initiated. I wasn’t ready at that time, but when I heard that there would be another initiation two weeks later, I asked the Swami to accept me as a disciple. You greeted me later and said, “I heard that you decided to get initiated. I think that’s wonderful. I’m really glad.” <\/p>\n

I had an apartment half a block from the Swami’s storefront, and when I offered to share it with the devotees, you became my roommate. I remember having philosophical conversations with you while walking the streets of the Lower East Side. Once we were talking about art and you said, “What is art?” You pointed to an outdoor stand with fruits and vegetables on it and said, “See the way that man is placing the tomatoes in a box? That’s art. He could do it in a sloppy way, but he’s arranging it nicely and that’s art.” You so much impressed me as a down-to-earth intellectual, that to this day I remember your \u201cart lesson\u201d vividly. I even remember exactly where we were standing. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We then walked up Fifth Street heading west, and I began to tell you of my love for the novels of Dostoevsky. I said that there was a great searching for God in Dostoevsky, even though it was more a yearning than an attaining. Many of Dostoevsky\u2019s characters were great sinners, even criminals, but there was always the theme of redemption from sin and surrender to God. You were the only one I could fully share this with, and you responded enthusiastically, “Yes, Dostoevsky is wonderful, he had a genuine search for God.” <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In those days the Swami didn’t try to convince anyone that they had to shave their beards, and so you and Hayagriva wore beards. I remember you rarely wore an Indian dhoti<\/i>, except maybe in the temple. One time when we were walking together, I asked you about your reluctance to wear the dhoti<\/i>. You gave your amused laugh and said, \u201cI’m sure there must be a spiritual planet where they wear pants.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

These are just little memories, but my main impression is that you were a serious student of the Swami with a quick grasp of Krishna consciousness siddhanta<\/i>. I’m aware that your breaking from Krishna consciousness included criticism of our spiritual master and the Movement, and your way of life has since become opposed in many ways to Krishna conscious principles. In fact, when we tried to interview you ten years ago to help us compile the biography of Prabhupada, you refused even to talk. I’m not so naive, therefore, to think that a letter of reminiscence is going to change all that. Neither would I want to hear offensive things about Krishna consciousness from you. But at least I wanted to go on the record, since I am remembering those old days, and tell you that my association with you helped me in the beginning of my spiritual life. I want to remember all that you did in service to the Swami and to the worshipable Lord Krishna in those days, and I hope you too can remember it fondly, at least for a moment. <\/p>\n

Yours sincerely, Satsvarupa dasa<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

October 31, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Glories of Lunchtime at 26 Second Avenue <\/p>\n

One of the nicest times with the Swami was when we all came together to eat lunch. At the very beginning, a group of regulars would attend the Swami’s lecture, but as soon as the kirtana<\/i> was over, each person would go back to his apartment and his separate life. But once we ate together every day, it created an intimacy. <\/p>\n

Let me remember it again: I come in just a few minutes after one o’clock, straight from the welfare office. I’m not exactly late, but lunch is already underway, I’m a little anxious and hungry; I want to be sure that I get a plate. \u201cSatsvarupa, come on!\u201d They make a space for me and I sit down near the wall. The rug has been rolled back and we sit on the bare parquet floors. There is one row of eaters along the three walls, and then another half-circle of people in the center of the room. In the center of everything, sitting just to the right of the low table with the Panca-tattva picture, is the Swami. Kirtanananda comes in with capatis<\/i> and says, \u201cEverybody has to take at least two helpings. Right, Swamiji?\u201d \u201cYes,\u201d Swamiji says, \u201ceat more.\u201d Swamiji himself is eating. He mixes the different preparations together with his right hand\u2014pours the dal<\/i> onto the rice and then mixes the rice with the dal<\/i> with his fingers, then pushes the sabji<\/i> into the rice and takes the capati<\/i> and pushes everything together. He eats quickly while everything is still warm and he continues to mix it. It’s almost like he’s tasting with his hand as well as with his mouth and eyes. The Swami’s eating was another art which was new and fascinating to us. We all eat with our right hands, just like the Swamiji. It’s a joyful but serious business, chewing meditatively and relishing. <\/p>\n

Hayagriva says, \u201cThis is very succulent!\u201d Others praise the food. Swamiji says, \u201cI can teach you many preparations. I’ve only taught a few.\u201d How foolish the nondevotees are for not knowing how to eat in Krishna consciousness! Aromas of food come from the kitchen, the smell of hot rice as it goes on everyone’s plate, and the vegetables and capatis<\/i> and the butter in a combined good dinner aroma. Eating first and talking second. But there is talk also. The Swami is usually quiet, especially at the peak of the eating, but sometimes Hayagriva is talking about American poetry, Walt Whitman or Emily Dickenson, and Rayarama has something to say about that. After a while, the Swami looks up and asks, “Raphael, when will you fix the lock?” And, “Stryadhisa, how is your mother?” An old acquaintance of the Swami from uptown, Mr. Nelson, has come, and Swami is glad to see him. Some who come to see him are a bit eccentric and some aren’t serious devotees, but Swamiji is always cordial to them. He invites everyone to eat and eat more. <\/p>\n

I like sitting on the floor cross-legged in front of my dish. I’m hungry and I like the tastes, and I like it when it’s hot. I never liked hot rice before. Rice was something my mother would be embarrassed to give you. It was for poor people or Chinese. But wow! This was good\u2014rice and vegetables, and you touch it with your hand. Kirtanananda’s capatis<\/i> are like pancakes. The Swami calls them rotis<\/i>. I ask, “How do you make the capatis<\/i> come out like this? Kirtanananda laughs and says, \u201cSwamiji showed me.\u201d Everyone is eating away or passing their plates in for seconds and thirds. We’re all sitting on the same level as the Swami and looking over to him. The Swami leans slightly over his plate and there he is\u2014the heart of the new Krishna conscious life which you’ve adopted. His clothes are humble, whatever khadi<\/i> he brought from India, with inexpensive additions that we bought him, T-shirts or jerseys from the Orchard Street markets. Although he is the guru, there is no elevated seat. He is barefoot and eating the same prasadam<\/i> as everyone. When he finishes, Swamiji gets up and walks across the room and washes his hands in the bathroom, then goes to his own room. We begin to finish up also. This is a good time for sneaking in to see Swamiji to ask a question or get some more typing. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

November 1, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Another Sunday Evening with Swamiji <\/p>\n

I have been to the Sunday love feast and then to my apartment to finish up some typing. Now I’m going back to the storefront to give Swamiji the typing. As I enter the storefront I see that many guests have already left. Kirtanananda is sitting on the front shelf of the storefront window talking with a guy and girl about Krishna consciousness. He’s speaking examples he’s heard from the Swami and some of his own. His friend, Umapati, stands by. Someone mentions Buddhism, and Umapati says, \u201cBuddhism is actually a kind of mysticism for atheists.\u201d On the left side of the front entrance is a shelf with ISKCON literatures where Gargamuni has set up pamphlets (\u201cKrishna, The Reservoir of Pleasure\u201d and \u201cWho is Crazy?\u201d). The first issue of BTG is there, and some incense in homemade packs. Gargamuni wears red japa<\/i> beads around his neck and he smooths his “Shakespearean locks” with his hand. He says, “You can burn this incense when you chant Hare Krishna.” He laughs, but he’s trying to make a sale. A man picks up a leaflet. “Is this free?” Gargamuni says, “We have to pay for the printing. You can give a little donation for it.” Gargamuni holds his fourth plate of feast prasadam<\/i>, and he’s picking a little from it as he talks. <\/p>\n

At the back of the room where the dais is, there are big pots on the floor, and the devotees are giving out whatever prasadam<\/i> is left. Acyutananda is serving out prasadam<\/i> with a large spoon. Stryadhisa is sitting quietly, eating. Rupanuga and his wife and little child are sitting, having finished prasadam<\/i>, and talking with Rayarama. Rupanuga says to Rayarama, “Something should be done to make the temple a cleaner place.” He says that he and his wife sometimes feel ashamed to come there because of the cockroaches and the dirt. There are even sweet juice stains on the rug. Rayarama smiles and says, “Well, what can be done?” But Rupanuga is serious about it. He says it’s really bad, and he will tell the Swami about it. Jagannatha dasa (James Green) is also there, and he’s talking with a newly- initiated devotee named Dvarakadhisa. Dvarakadhisa is comparing Krishna consciousness to Western philosophy and saying that the arguments on the existence of God by Thomas Aquinas are very good. <\/p>\n

A moody young man is playing the tamboura, but pressing the strings down as if it were a guitar. Bob Lefkowitz says to him, “Hey, that’s not the way you play a tamboura. You’ll break it. It’s just a drone instrument.” The young man continues playing the tamboura by pressing the strings and finally Lefkowitz takes it from him. <\/p>\n

I walk through this scene and out the side door into the courtyard. Paper plates are scattered around, and the janitor, Mr. Chuddy, is upset. “I told you this before,” he says. “This is not your place.” Brahmananda says, “We’re just like your sons. So just tell us what to do and I’ll do it. I’ll clean up right away. It won’t happen again.” Brahmananda has heard Swamiji say he should approach Mr. Chuddy this way. Mr. Chuddy is pacified, but another tenant comes; they both complain again about the plates. “Did you get some prasadam<\/i>?” asks Brahmananda of the tenant. “Yes, I got a plate. It was nice, but that’s not the point.” Stryadhisa sits at the picnic table blinking, looking detached from everything. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 2, 2016<\/b> <\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Attractive Beauty <\/p>\n

Sri Krishna is “handsomeness and waves of nectar of handsomeness.” (Brhad-Bhagavatamrta<\/i>). But Swamiji was seventy or eighty years old. We were all young men, so why were we attracted to this “old man”? (Swamiji used to say, \u201cI’m an old man, I may die at any moment.\u201d And, \u201cI am a poor foreigner. Why are they after me?\u201d) He had the attractive features of a sage. The way he sat, the shape of his head, the gestures of his hands. He was from the East, like Gautama Buddha. He sat on the floor or on the ground, and whatever furniture he had was at a low center of gravity, no chairs. The aura and look in his eyes was from another world. You can’t describe it, his shining eyes. His eyes signalled, \u201cYou can look in my eyes but you will not be able to understand my love of Krishna, but that’s what’s there.\u201d He was childlike also, very sweet but very strong. You couldn’t come before him like a rogue and a rascal and still approach him. You had to accept that he was an elderly person, a guru, and you must be respectful to him, and then things could happen. Then you could begin to perceive his actual beauty; he would relax and allow himself to be taken care of by you and exchange with you. <\/p>\n

We were certainly not turned off by the fact that he was an elderly person. We weren’t looking for youth. We knew where our youthful smart-aleckness had gotten us\u2014into trouble and suffering. There was no question of sexual attraction, or as men sometimes do, squaring off with aggressiveness: \u201cCan you beat me up? Can I beat him up?\u201d With the Swami, it was freedom from all that because he was the guru, he was old, and he knew so many things that you didn’t know. <\/p>\n

Swamiji kept spelling everything out: He was a representative of Krishna, and Krishna is there in His name, Krishna is there in so many ways, and we can serve Krishna and go to Krishna. Aside from Swamiji, nobody was going to tell you about Krishna \u2014that Krishna is God and that Krishna is a cowherd boy. Krishna was so “far out” we couldn’t believe it, but every time we went in front of Swamiji, we had to believe it. He kept up the reality of Krishna. And in the books that he gave out\u2014there was Krishna. He made such a powerful presentation that you said, “Let’s go up and hear the Swami talk about Krishna.” You would come to him with your concoctions, “What about this? And what about that?” But Swamiji would bring it right back to Krishna and you would accept it. And so, gradually in his presence, hearing about Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and devotional service to Krishna, you started becoming Krishna-ized and you realized that Swamiji had knowledge and influence to do this to people\u2014to create faith in them, for Krishna. But you had to go back regularly to him and get it charged up. <\/p>\n

He had unshakeable faith in Krishna, and he could see Krishna. We sometimes imagined how he saw Krishna. We couldn’t quite understand it. When did he talk with Him, in sleep? Swamiji would say, “Yes, you can talk with Krishna, but He only talks with intimate persons.” We may not have known exactly how, but we did know that we were attracted to him because he had such conviction about Krishna. I remember once in that room he said, “People can talk philosophy about Krishna, but what is their realization?” Then I realized that’s what he’s got\u2014full realization of Krishna. Exactly how he realized, we didn’t know, but we had faith that he was experiencing a huge amount that we were not. <\/p>\n

Those who were not his disciples thought he was pretty much like everybody else: an old man with Hindu knowledge, probably the same motives and drives as everybody else. But we disciples believed in him and sensed that his perception of everything was very different from ours. He was in touch with Krishna, and fascinating, attractive and lovable. We could sense his mystic potency. Even Allen Ginsberg saw it: “I would disagree with him and even suspect ego exchanges, but no matter how much I disagreed, I was always glad to be with him because of the aura of sweetness due to his complete dedication.” Nicely put. Even he, although not a disciple, when coming into the Swami’s presence, was able to see, “Here is a man who is totally dedicated and in love with Krishna.” That made Swamiji beautiful; although he appeared to be an old man, he was beautiful because of his love for Krishna. <\/p>\n

November 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

Mercy from His Room<\/p>\n

\nSome memories of Srila Prabhupada are difficult because they show my failures. Some memories are sweet and completely reassuring. I would like to start with one of the sweet ones, as it occurred in Swamiji’s private room at 26 Second Avenue.<\/p>\n

One evening I went to Swamiji’s room and found him alone. I had been reading a Gaudiya Math book by Bhaktivinode Thakura and it stimulated my intellect. So I asked Swamiji, “What does it mean when Bhaktivinode Thakura says, ‘The darling of Nanda?'” Swamiji explained it. Then I said, “Bhaktivinode Thakura says that a person who sees the spiritual form of the Deity on the altar is the true theist.” I was repeating this to Swamiji because I was impressed with Bhaktivinode Thakura’s expressions, and also I wanted to hear what Swamiji thought of the slight difference of words and concepts between himself and Bhaktivinode. I made a few more comments and then Swamiji said, “Now go downstairs and let me finish my work.” I suddenly realized that I had overextended his welcome to me. Swamiji had better things to do other than chat with me about the meaning of Bhaktivinode Thakura’s language. In obedience, I bowed down and left him alone. <\/p>\n

On that occasion, the Swami gave me a little glimpse of the difference between us. He could talk and listen to a young boy who was excited about his first reading of Bhaktivinode Thakura, or he could be composing Bhaktivedanta purports. Prabhupada considered his time well spent if he could attract someone to Krishna, but it was sometimes embarrassing to see how we foolishly intruded.<\/p>\n

\nMemory is such a nice thing for connecting us with the pure devotee. When things happen in the flow of the present, you don’t always recognize that this is an important moment. The present flies into the next moment and the next moment, and there are always distractions and nothing stops. We don’t have a television playback to see the important moment that just passed. But we want to be thoughtful about our relationship with Prabhupada, so by memory you can note, that was good, that was deep, that was substantial, that happened. <\/p>\n

November 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Krishna Comes Through His Pure Representative <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

According to Vaisnava philosophy, the guru gives you Krishna. Srila Prabhupada did that. We were unqualified to realize Krishna directly, but our association with Srila Prabhupada made us Krishna conscious. The fact is, Swamiji always gave us double: when we were with him we got both Krishna and Swamiji. So it’s more than a reminiscence to say, “Anything I know about Krishna, I received from Swamiji.” It’s declared in all sastras<\/i> and by all the Vedic sages that the Supreme Lord reveals Himself through guru.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

My lord, devotees like your good self are verily holy places personified. Because you carry the Personality of Godhead within your heart, you turn all places into places of pilgrimage. (Bhag<\/i>.1.13.10)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As Prabhupada’s first Western disciples, we had no knowledge of sastras <\/i>or sadhus.<\/i> But gradually, we received the nectar from guru, His Divine Grace. We learned Krishna is the most relishable of all incarnations, the original form of Godhead. Swamiji concentrated on Bhagavad-gita,<\/i> wherein Krishna is both the speaker and the Supreme Lord. Along with Gita<\/i> lessons, he mixed in stories of Govinda’s pastimes in Vrindavana, His lifting Govardhana Hill, His best devotee Radharani, and the gopis. <\/i> Whatever it was about Krishna, we heard it from him. As Prabhupada said, \u201cThe atheists claim God is dead, but the pure devotee can hand you God\u201d\u2014and as he said it, he held his own hand forward and opened it.<\/p>\n

\nSomeone might say, “Since Krishna was foreign to you, did it conflict with your previous ideas of God?” No conflict for me\u2014I had abandoned God. Before Swamiji came to the Lower East Side, I would sit with my friends in a dark apartment with just a candle burning, while we shared LSD. I remember saying, “Why don’t we write in large letters on the wall, ‘LSD is God’?” That was our misunderstanding, despite a yearning for religion. It was not that we had a firm hold on the Judaic-Christian or Catholic concept of God, and so, upon meeting Swamiji we were thrown into a religious crisis. Rather, I had no God, and Swamiji gradually introduced me to Krishna. (In later years, Prabhupada said Western young people are nice because they had no preconceptions about Krishna and therefore \u201cthey accepted what I said.\u201d)<\/p>\n

\nThe big step for us was to accept the Swami as guru, and that wasn’t hard. He looked like a guru and he acted like a guru. He taught us according to the scriptures that you should accept whatever the guru says: “He is in the chant of His holy name. The name of Krishna is not different from Krishna Himself. Krishna is the Supreme Truth.” And so we learned our lessons from the guru. The fact that we had fallen out of the mainstream of U.S. society worked in our favor. We didn’t care about getting a good career or job, and we weren’t interested in politics. That was our “qualification.” We were free to give our full time to the Swamiji and to our own spiritual development. It didn’t take long before we also began to repeat his messages. When asked a question about Krishna one of Swamiji’s followers would pause, and you could see him thinking back to what he had just heard the Swami say. And when he remembered it, he would repeat it, because that’s the only way we knew.<\/p>\n

After hearing from Prabhupada for years, I still can’t claim to have realization of Krishna or mystic perception of Him. I’m finding out that I am more conditioned than I thought because of my Western culture. I have inherited a working-class cynicism from my parents and an intellectual cynicism from professors. Somehow, I now have a basic, simple faith in Krishna, and it comes from association with Prabhupada. As described in sastra<\/i>, the bhakti-lata-bija<\/i>, the seed of devotion, is planted in our heart by the guru. And if that seed is watered by chanting and hearing and is protected by fencing against the “mad elephant” of guru-aparadha<\/i>, then one can proceed quickly in Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Getting Krishna from the Swami <\/p>\n

\nIt was a matter of fact that we were getting Krishna from the Swami. He conducted a school for Krishna consciousness at 26 Second Avenue. He gave regular lectures and gave us his books, although the subject was beyond academic understanding. The essence of this school was to associate with a pure devotee. <\/p>\n

He gave us love of God, and we saw him practice love of God twenty-four hours a day. Even when the Swami was asleep we could look through the window in the wall of his room and see him there. We got close to the sakti<\/i> of his pure devotion and received his blessings. And despite our own foolish ways, we understood the truth. We hung onto the pure gem that had come into our dirty lives\u2014the gem of association with the Swami.<\/p>\n

\nAll religious cultures of the world advise you to receive God directly from the saint or pure devotee. If you didn’t meet a realized soul, then whatever you imbibe of religion is a bit academic, somewhat ritualistic, somewhat institutionalized, and definitely unrealized. Narottama dasa Thakura sings, “Whoever became liberated without the mercy of the Vaisnava?” Without the grace of the pure devotee, religion cannot become a major part of your life. It cannot enter your heart; it’s not so real. But when you meet a saint and when you are receptive to him, then everything changes. If you do menial service for the saint, then you receive God’s grace. In the case of Srila Prabhupada, the God consciousness he was teaching was the most relishable, because the scriptures he taught from were “the most voluminous and exacting” science of God consciousness due to the unbroken disciplic succession. From Swamiji, we received the ultimate double treat of his all-valuable association and beginning the path of service to the Supreme Lord Sri Krishna.<\/p>\n

\nWe rejoiced in the fact that we were babies in spiritual life, learning everything from the beginning. We weren’t ashamed of it. Swamiji even compared sadhana-bhakti<\/i> to a kindergarten. He said that just as the rambunctious youngsters are kept busy with constructive activities, so in bhakti-yoga<\/i> we engage all the senses and proclivities in the service of the Lord. In our spiritual kindergarten, we danced with our teacher and followed his lead in singing, while playing rhythm instruments. And he taught us like that, starting from the ABC’s up to Radha-Krishna. Ever since he arrived, we were having a happy time.<\/p>\n

November 6, 2016, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Slow Down and Read What the Swami Has Said <\/p>\n

\nBy the time I met Prabhupada I had completed four years of college and had become somewhat crazy. I would only read books that held my attention and which I thought helped me in my writing, such as Naked Lunch, Howl, Death on the Installment Plan, A Thief’s Journal, <\/i>and Last Exit Before Brooklyn. <\/i>So where did the Swami’s Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i> fit in along with all these hip authors? In one sense, you might expect me to think, “This is some old-fashioned commentary on a religious book from India.” But I couldn’t reject it like that, even though it wasn’t written in the American fast-paced way. Just because it didn’t supply the gratification of jargon and speech didn’t mean I couldn’t look at it. So I made an exception to my usual policy to reject anything that didn’t move quickly in the most modern frame of reference. I had to slow down to read what the Swami had said. And I found that he was saying something that made me slow down. I calmed myself and started to appreciate it without preconceptions. Besides, if I had any favoritism in religious reading, it was towards Eastern religions, and so I liked that.<\/p>\n

\u201cIntelligent persons do cut off the interknot of the knot of reactionary work by remembrance of the Personality of Godhead; therefore, who will not give attention to this message?\u201d <\/p>\n

Purport: \u201cContact of the spiritual spark living being with the material elements is the point of interknitting knot. . . .\u201d <\/p>\n

(SB<\/i> 1.2.15, <\/b>verse and purport, 1962 edition)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After the squeaking of brakes and calming of mind, I tried to see what the Swami was saying in Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, Part One. There was nothing flashy in his mode of presentation. It was a book filled with misprints, from India. One could usually guess at the intended meaning behind the misprints, such as when the book read “The Supreme Lard.” “One should surrender to the Lard. . .” But there was something I liked about this, something attractive. I liked the physical object, the brick-colored book. And I began to like the misprints, “The Lard.” I transferred that in a harmless, dovetailing way into the Swami’s book. I thought, “This is far out. This is mystical stuff! I’m gonna get into this!” (As soon as my sister heard about it, she thought it was my usual syndrome of going too far into anything. “Oh no, Stevie,” she said, “not another trip.” I said, “Hey, no, this is good. I’m gonna get into this!”) Reading Swamiji was true love. And it was a double treat\u2014Krishna and the Swami. Sometimes Krishna would speak in the verse and then Swamiji would speak in the purports. (Swamiji seemed to be speaking in the verses also.) You got Swamiji with all his personal traits, living with us, exotic and lovable\u2014and Krishna, who is completely lovable, the all-attractive Personality of Godhead with His cows and friends in Vrindavana. They’re always together, Swamiji and Krishna. <\/p>\n

I read the Bhagavatam <\/i>from the beginning, as he advised, but sometimes I would reach into it at random. I kept the book with me at work, in a left-hand lower drawer. To the left of my desk was our supervisor’s desk, then to my right were my coworkers like Miss Fennel and a stocky blonde-haired man who the other workers called “creeping Jesus.” Even though my supervisor was nearby, he couldn’t see over into the deep drawer. So I would open the drawer, open the book, read a little and then close it. One phrase really struck me. Swamiji wrote that there are many realistic obstacles on the path of devotional service. I thought, “He knows. Swami and the sages and Krishna know that there are many obstacles and they’re realistic about it. They know what we’re going through.” By reading a few moments at the office, and more at my apartment, I quickly (and superficially) went through the first volume. Then I started to read it again. There were things in the book that Swamiji wasn’t lecturing on. So by reading you gained supplementary knowledge to what you had heard in the classes. But in the beginning, hearing in the classes was more impressive. It’s clear to me that if I had never met Swamiji, I don’t think there’s any way I could have become a devotee of Krishna just by reading the book. The book was valuable because it was something of the Swami’s. But along with the book there was also Swamiji himself\u2014Swamiji in the kirtanas<\/i>, Swamiji in his room. Now, since his disappearance, the book is of major importance, and we sometimes think it’s all we have. And there’s plenty in the book. But at least at my first reading, I could not read deeply. Nevertheless, I was soon attached to his book, Srimad-Bhagavatam,<\/i> and I didn’t want any other books. Just as before when I wouldn’t read any books except hip literature, now I didn’t want any books but Krishna’s. <\/p>\n

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November 7, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a>The Ideal Reader <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada, you teach Krishna directly, but it takes much patience to hear and read. We’re so distracted. Therefore, if someone simply reads your books with patience and submission, that’s a first-class service. The ideal reader of your books comes to know Krishna face-to-face as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. And that reader lives with you as His best friend. <\/p>\n

The ideal reader doesn’t have to be one of those who associated with you personally in your vapu <\/i>form, although he (or she) likes to hear such Prabhupada pastimes. But he likes best of all the times when he reads your books. Then he is with you and Krishna. Even we who associated with you knew that your essence was in your writings.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This reader of your books is humble about his connection to you. He keeps the books in a bookcase and protects each one of them with a transparent book cover. He tries to associate with devotees, gives money to the Krishna Consciousness Movement, preaches in some capacity, worships the Deity, chants the holy name. And he particularly excels in relishing the reading.<\/p>\n

\nHe has read everything you’ve written several times, but his enthusiasm for rereading never diminishes. He thinks, “It’s about time I started reading the First Canto again.” And so the transcendental saga of Vyasa speaking to Suka, Suka to Pariksit, Suta to the sages at Naimisaranya\u2014unfolds before him again and again with new wonder. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He especially likes to be reminded of the importance of reading and he treasures verses like, “Paramahamsas<\/i>, devotees who have accepted the essence of life, are attached to Krishna in the core of their hearts, and He is the aim of their lives. It is their nature to talk only of Krishna at every moment, as if such topics were newer and newer. They are attached to such topics, just as materialists are attached to women and sex.” (Bhag<\/i>. 10.13.2)<\/p>\n

\nHe has very little attraction for other books. He can’t get interested in other topics of conversation. He’d prefer to stay home with your book. Even when he goes to a holy dhama<\/i> like Vrindavana, he likes to read there. He can’t explain it, but he knows that he’s starting to glimpse the darsana<\/i> of the Supreme Lord in the pages of your books. He knows he’s not a special person, and yet you promise\u2014”The transcendental pastimes of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Krishna, are so powerful that simply by hearing, reading and memorizing this book, Krishna<\/i>, one is sure to be transferred to the spiritual world, which is ordinarily very difficult to achieve.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada, I wish I were that ideal reader. I wish I could at least meet him. He wouldn’t have to preach to me that I should read more, but I would naturally want to do it, just by seeing him do it. He would remind me where to find you in the best way. I want to learn Prabhupada meditation from him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 8, 2016<\/b> <\/p>\n

Grateful<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Rupa Gosvami gives the following definition of grateful: “Any person who is conscious of his friend’s beneficent activities and never forgets his service is called grateful.” (NOD<\/i>, p. 166) I want to be grateful to Srila Prabhupada and carry out that sentiment in my actions. For example, I may think of his pranam-mantra<\/i>: “My obeisances unto you, O Spiritual Master, servant of Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura. You are so kindly teaching the message of Lord Caitanya and delivering these Western countries which are filled with voidism and impersonalism.” Thanks to Prabhupada, now whenever I meet with the Mayavada philosophy (which is frequently), I appreciate that I’ve been trained to avoid their snares and to see through their word jugglery.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I am grateful to Lord Krishna for sending Srila Prabhupada. I feel fortunate to have contacted him. And therefore, remembrances of personal association with Srila Prabhupada\u2014not allowing those times to be forgotten\u2014are themselves acts of gratitude.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The concept of guru-daksina<\/i> is meant to prevent the disciple from lapsing into ingratitude. We don’t think that we can ever repay Srila Prabhupada for what he has given, but we should make the attempt. “As you have learned this knowledge from me, now you should be kind and give it to others.” It is not enough to feel thankful while I keep the gift for myself. Since I have received blessings, I am obliged to give them to others.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Lord Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, is the perfect example of a grateful person. He never forgets even the smallest favorable service rendered to Him. Srila Prabhupada writes, “Anyone who addresses the Lord immediately attracts the attention of the Lord, who always remains obliged to him.” (NOD<\/i>, p. 166)<\/p>\n

As the Lord is the epitome of gratefulness, so is His pure devotee. Srila Prabhupada often expressed deep appreciation to his disciples for the services they were rendering to spread the Krishna consciousness movement. The fact is that Prabhupada’s disciples were carrying out his vision in an attempt to reciprocate with him and to please him. This dynamic relationship was observed by the scholar Larry Shinn in his foreword to Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta<\/i>: “What springs from page after page is the willing devotion of young men and women to a man whom they admire for his deep faith and humility, not his autocratic or forceful demands.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada also set the best example of a grateful disciple in his own devotion for Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura. Whatever success he accomplished, Prabhupada said, was all due to the mercy of his spiritual master. Srila Prabhupada saw Krishna’s mercy upon him in many ways. He once expressed gratitude to the United States of America as the place where his mission first flourished. Prabhupada said, “America has been so good to me to give money, men, everything. I have no designation that ‘this is my country’, but because they have given me so much facility, I cannot forget my obligation to them. I want to make them happy, and through them, the world.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

We should not be so dull as to ask, “What should I thank him for?” We thank him for teaching us the invaluable art of offering food first to the Lord, and then eating spiritual remnants. We thank him for uplifting us from an animal-like life to a life of refined, hopeful humanity. I thank him for allowing me to write praises of Prabhupada and Krishna. We thank him for making us satisfied and happy. “Many of our students were dry and morose previous to their coming to Krishna consciousness,” Srila Prabhupada writes, “but having come into contact with devotees, they are now dancing like jubilant peacocks.” <\/p>\n

November 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Mind of the Acarya<\/i><\/p>\n

\nVaisnavera kriya mudra vijne na bujhaya:<\/i> \u201cOne cannot understand the mind or the activities of the Vaisnava.\u201d This means that a pure devotee should never be judged by material standards, and when we associate with him, we shouldn’t take him for granted. Don’t think he is an ordinary person. The depth of his love for Krishna is a mystery to us.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, I always assumed that there was a normal, intelligent exchange going on between Srila Prabhupada and me. A disciple may exaggerate that because Prabhupada is mystical and dear to Krishna, therefore at every moment, some strange vibration is coming from him and he’s signalling to us in unknown ways. Prabhupada, however, always emphasized normal exchanges of intelligence. He mocked the “fable” of a guru who transferred knowledge to his disciple by electric shock and then said he’d lost all of his own knowledge. Srila Prabhupada always talked about Krishna in an authorized way, and with realization. He spoke of pure devotees and devotional service. But he didn’t talk about himself as someone special or more advanced. Neither did he tell us exactly what he was thinking in his inner mind, although sometimes when disciples were talking among themselves, they would speculate about the mind of the acarya<\/i>. When we were with Srila Prabhupada, he was always present in a real and personal way. He was our friend and teacher, a nectarean pure devotee of the Lord.<\/p>\n

\nIn reverence, we accepted the fact that Srila Prabhupada’s devotion to Krishna was beyond us. And we were also happy that Srila Prabhupada was with us, as our venerable and lovable spiritual master. But there were other aspects of his personality which were dear to us, although they didn’t quite fit in with standard conceptions we may have had of a “pure devotee” or a “spiritual master.” One example is Prabhupada’s childlike nature.<\/p>\n

\nOne time I accompanied Srila Prabhupada and Rayarama on a visit to the lawyer to see about Swamiji’s immigration status. We were in the waiting room discussing the legal case, when Swamiji became absorbed in playing with a lamp that was in the office. This lamp was in the shape of a ship’s stern, and it had a small propeller. While we were speaking of immigration legalities, Swamiji reached over and began spinning the propeller on the boat. It was as if he reserved the right, at any time, to drop out of the reality which others were taking so seriously. It reminded you of liberated souls you’d read about, like the Kumaras. And it indicated that we don’t know the mind of the acarya.<\/i><\/p>\n

\nAnother time Swamiji and several devotees were on a tour of a building in Manhattan, with the idea to purchase it. The real estate agent led Swamiji through the rooms, explaining everything. But at one point we noticed that Swamiji wasn’t with us. He had been left behind somewhere, and when we found him he was in a remote part of a room playing with the foot pedal of an old-fashioned sewing machine. He was standing by himself and operating it with his foot, exempting himself for the time being, from the heavy real estate talks.<\/p>\n

\nI’ve also seen Prabhupada sit in the back seat of a car and crank the window up and down repeatedly, and I have seen him move his finger across a fogged window pane and make playful marks. In a detached way, Prabhupada liked to hum and sing to himself. Whatever Prabhupada did, it was an answer to the question made by Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gita<\/i>, “How does a transcendentalist walk, how does he sit, and how does he speak?” Sometimes the paramahamsas<\/i> or swanlike persons float on the water of the material world and appear to be like children. Sometimes they act like madmen and don’t communicate at all, although Srila Prabhupada never did that. And most often, they are teachers with their finger raised in the jnana-mudra<\/i> pose, instructing the conditioned souls.<\/p>\n

November 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Gravity<\/p>\n

\nIf a disciple intruded too much or assumed to know the mind of Prabhupada, he got a rebuff. This would serve to remind him not to assume that he knew everything about his spiritual master, Srila <\/p>\n

Prabhupada. I experienced this one time when I went with Prabhupada to see the lawyer on Chambers Street in Manhattan. My assignment was to bring Swamiji back to the storefront at 26 Second Avenue after the meeting was over. I was happy with this mission and concerned that I get Swamiji back safely. I tried to guide him in crossing the streets and protect him from the traffic, but his tendency was to rush out before I did and dart across the avenue. At one point I remarked, “This city is like a jungle, except there are no snakes.” Swamiji replied, “What about Mr. Paine?” Then on the bus I sat beside him and tried to keep my mind purified and not spaced out. I wanted to be a good but menial companion, and not pester him with a lot of philosophical questions. When we got near our bus stop I said, “Swamiji, this is it,” and I stood to ring the buzzer. But Swamiji said, “No, there’s one more stop.” I sat down and at the next stop, on his indication, I pulled the wire buzzer.<\/p>\n

When we were walking the last few blocks, I realized that this was the end of my special mission of intimacy with Swamiji. My main idea was just to deliver him to his room safely, but I couldn’t resist asking him a question. So I leaned over while we were walking and said, “Swamiji, the Ramakrishna Mission has spread themselves very effectively. So how is that they’ve done that if they’re not bona fide? And how can we become effective also?” Swamiji didn’t answer me at all, although I had spoken loudly and clearly. By now we were standing on the curb of Second Avenue waiting to cross, with the storefront in full view. I felt humiliated and had to swallow my question in silence. I couldn’t say, “Didn’t you hear what I said?” Or, “What did you think of what I said?” For some reason unknown to me, he had decided to ignore me. I realized that this was his right, but it felt very heavy. I thought I must have displeased him and I felt a great distance between us. But I continued my mission and went across Second Avenue with Swamiji and brought him to his room.<\/p>\n

The episode left me thinking, “What happened? What did I do wrong?” I told myself, “Don’t make a big thing out of this. He can do that if he wants.” Now when I think of it, I guess that I overstepped my bounds\u2014I’d become proud that I had successfully brought Swamiji home and I tried to enjoy his association by asking an impressive question. At least his silence came to me as a good slap. He reduced me to what I actually was supposed to be, the menial boy who was accompanying him home. I should have been satisfied doing that, relishing it for what it was. So what if he didn’t answer my so-called philosophical question? What right had I anyway, to ask about the Ramakrishna Mission or how the Krishna Consciousness Movement is going to be spread?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As time passed, I accepted that rebuff and began to relish it. As Prabhupada would say, “The guru is not a pet.” I became more assured that Swamiji was definitely a person; he was always caring for you, but he may teach you in his own way\u2014so take the lessons. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Eternal Residents of Vrndavan<\/p>\n

\u201cThe devotee should always think of Krishna within himself, and one should choose a very dear devotee who is a servitor of Krishna in Vrindavana. One should constantly engage in topics about that servitor and his loving relationship to Krishna, and one should live in Vrindavana. However, if one is physically unable to go to Vrindavana, he should mentally live there.\u201d <\/p>\n

(Cc. Madhya<\/i>, 22.160)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When this topic comes up in conversation, I think of Srila Prabhupada and how he may be considered the eternal resident of Vrindavana whom we should follow. This isn’t a concoction on my part, and neither is it meant to replace the teaching that one should follow Nanda Maharaja or the gopas<\/i> or other eternal residents of Vrindavana. Once in India, some of Prabhupada’s disciples said they thought he was the eternal resident of Vrindavana whom they could follow. Prabhupada did not elaborate on the point, but he affirmed their sentiment.<\/p>\n

\nNow that Srila Prabhupada has disappeared from the world in his vapu<\/i> form, it remains somewhat of a mystery as to when we will meet up with him again. He is a liberated soul, and therefore, he has a place in the pastimes of Krishna. We have also read in a song by Narottama dasa Thakura that he aspired to be in the form of a gopi-manjari,<\/i> along with his spiritual master, assisting in the pastimes of Radha and Krishna. These secrets are quite beyond me at present. But I can put my understanding in a simple form: since the liberated spiritual master is in Goloka Vrindavana, it stands to reason that if we follow him, we also will come to be in his presence in Vrindavana (provided we reach the perfect stage). And yet the next life meeting with the spiritual master remains, at least for me, highly theoretical. This much I can say with personal conviction: I wish to always hear about Krishna from Srila Prabhupada. I want to think that Prabhupada is the eternal resident of Vrindavana whom I should follow. Krishnadasa Kaviraja says that the Vrindavana resident should be “a very dear devotee.” That certainly fits Srila Prabhupada, who is very dear to Krishna on this earth. The servitor is also supposed to be an associate of Krishna in Vrindavana. Srila Prabhupada is from Vrindavana, both within the context of Vrindavana, India, where he resided at the Radha-Damodara temple in the Prabhupada Samadhi, and also at Krishna-Balarama Mandira. He is also a resident in the eternal Vrindavana. <\/p>\n

What’s really on my mind is this\u2014I want to know whether the 1966 pastimes and other pastimes of Srila Prabhupada, as we knew them\u2014are eternal. Did Prabhupada, the eternal servitor, appear within this material world in a temporary lila?<\/i> But how little we know! What is eternality? Even if you define it for me, I cannot comprehend it. All I know is that Srila Prabhupada came here and taught us of eternal Vrindavana. And I know that I can\u2014if I concentrate and lead the proper life\u2014think of him now, and worship him and follow his orders.<\/p>\n

Krishnadasa Kaviraja advises that, “One should constantly engage in topics about the servitor and his loving relationship to Krishna.” When I think of Srila Prabhupada singing in the kirtana<\/i>, and I read about “his” Krishna, and meditate on the faith he has instilled in me to be a servitor of the Lord\u2014I think this is good enough for me. Krishnadasa Kaviraja even advises that if one awakens his attraction for an eternal resident, he is not to be checked by ordinary standards. “When such covetousness is awakened, one’s intelligence no longer depends on the instruction of sastra<\/i>, revealed scriptures, logic or argument.” I do not claim that I comprehend Srila Prabhupada as the eternal resident of Vrindavana, but I think that it fulfills the purport regarding serving Krishna in Vrindavana in a particular way. Actually, I should probably not even be discussing these topics, but be content with the original instructions Prabhupada gave me: “It will be automatically revealed to you in proper time.” Srila Prabhupada, please forgive my impertinence. Please keep me engaged in your eternal service, wherever and whatever that may be.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 12, 2016, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The Eternal Residents of Vrndavan<\/p>\n

In the beginning I wanted to tell him, “I feel I have a loving relationship with you.” One of the first ways I expressed this was when I told him I felt obliged to attend all his classes. This came up when I had to miss a weekend to visit my parents in Avalon, New Jersey.<\/p>\n

“Swamiji, I won’t be able to attend classes for the next two days because I have to visit with my mother and father.”<\/p>\n

\n“That’s all right.”<\/p>\n

\nI said, “The reason I’m telling you is because I don’t want to do anything without your permission.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji had never assumed control over my activities, but when I spelled out my feeling of obligation to him, he smiled.<\/p>\n

He wanted us to surrender. In his lectures he would say, “Just like these boys who are with me. They are grown up, but they don’t do anything without my permission. They will say, ‘Swamiji, may I have a piece of fruit?’ And I will say, ‘Of course, it’s in the refrigerator.’ They could take it, but the etiquette is to first ask the spiritual master.”<\/p>\n

But sometimes when you make your gesture of surrender, it turns out to be a mistake. Then the guru has to correct you, and you have to accept it. It’s a sign that the relationship is becoming more developed.<\/p>\n

One of the first times Swamiji corrected me, he did it without saying a word. I was in his room when he was unwrapping a parcel he had received from India. I don’t remember the contents, but it was wrapped in a piece of saffron cloth about the size of a handkerchief. Swamiji put this cloth aside as if to discard it. I looked at it and said, “Can I have that?” He said, “Yes,” and I took it as a prize. The next morning when I came to Swamiji’s morning class, I had tied the saffron handkerchief around my neck like a pirate’s bandana. Part of my motive was pure whimsy, to create a new clothing fashion. But also I wanted to show the Swami that I was his man, and so I wore his cloth. But saffron kerchiefs around the neck are not part of the brahmacari<\/i> dress. While lecturing on the Bhagavatam<\/i> Swamiji noticed the scarf, and he looked a bit alarmed. His glance was clear, and so I removed the kerchief and never wore it again.<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada liked to exchange gestures of love, but he didn’t like concoctions. Years later, when he heard that some of his disciples were taking the used brahmana<\/i> thread that had been worn by the temple Deity and putting it on their own wrist, he said it was a concoction. The sentiment behind these gestures was nice, but we should be willing to do it in a way that actually pleases Prabhupada and Krishna. This becomes a delicate matter when a newcomer is an artist or a “free spirit” and wants to serve Krishna in his own way. You want to tell them that their sentiment is nice, but you also have to inform them sooner or later, “This is not the way we do it in Krishna consciousness.” Swamiji bypassed all that just by giving me a look, and I was glad to get off that easy. I thought, “Okay, that’s cool. No more pirate scarf.”<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 13, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Nostalgia Craze?<\/p>\n


\n<\/b>I want to go back to Swamiji’s room at 26 Second Avenue as much as I am able. Prabhupada’s 26 Second Avenue days were very special. I don’t talk of them so much, but it has always been a source of inner pride for me to know that I was there. When I remember Prabhupada in this best way it turns into prayer, and it leads to positive action for the present. Someone might accuse me of thinking too much of the “good old days.” But I think it’s my prerogative to be more attached to my 1966 Swamiji memories than to any other memories. Lord Krishna’s devotees in Vrindavana favor the good old days when Krishna was living with them, and they sometimes even criticize the Lord’s devotees in other places. So I think it’s not just sentimentality on my part that I lament the loss of simplicity, my inability to be with Prabhupada as I used to at 26 Second Avenue. The potency of those ’66 days is not mere nostalgia. <\/p>\n

I sometimes hear devotees deride those memories. An international sankirtana<\/i> leader told a story of when Srila Prabhupada was in Los Angeles and Mukunda Maharaja said, “Prabhupada, do you remember the early days together?” And Prabhupada was supposed to have replied, “Oh, those are old stories.” When the international sankirtana<\/i> leader related this incident, he looked at me and said, “Did you know that Prabhupada said that?” I replied, “No, I hadn’t heard that.” It hurt to think that Prabhupada had actually said it. Other times Prabhupada liked to talk of 1966, saying, “Those were happy days.”<\/p>\n

\nPrabhupada was completely accessible in those days. He didn’t have so many other things to attend to, except take care of the devotees at his one center. His disciples all had menial but important services, and everyone completely admired him. We were all babies in spiritual life. Now we appear to be very grown up with many responsibilities. But it’s good to keep the truth alive\u2014that we are actually babies, and our spiritual master is protecting us. If now we have to perform austerities (enduring quarrels with godbrothers, mixing with nondevotees), and if we have to do extraordinary things like accepting disciples; still, the inner, simple abiding truth is that \u201cI’m a spiritual baby and I’m doing this for Prabhupada.\u201d Our relationship is actually the same, despite the external changes.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada’s devotees haven’t become monsters forgetting their guru and taking advantage of his property. No, we’re just like we were in the beginning. We eat when he says to eat and we give him our money, and when there’s a doubt, we ask him. He gave us our beads and told us to chant, offer prasadam<\/i> and do some preaching. No one can take it away. And even though the external scene of 26 Second Avenue has vanished, I can go back for a special memory\u2014what it was like to be a spiritual child in a young man’s body with Prabhupada as strong as a lion, and the gusto of his playing on the drum. I prefer the 26 Second Avenue pastimes, just as you may prefer some others. So it is with the eternal associates of Lord Krishna. The gopis<\/i> and residents of Vrndavana are so much attached to Vrindavana dhama<\/i> that even if Krishna goes away, they stay in Vrindavana. They prefer Vrindavana to Krishna. They will remember Krishna in Vrindavana, but they won’t leave Vrindavana. If Krishna is so unfaithful as to desert Vrindavana, that’s His business, but the Vrajavasis will never leave the land of His original pastimes. Brhad-Bhagavatamrta<\/i> informs us that the residents of Vrindavana wouldn’t even believe the stories they heard of Krishna’s pastimes outside of Vrindavana. When Akrura came to take Krishna from Vrindavana, all Krishna’s dear friends were very hurt and outraged. Akrura explained that Krishna had to leave in order to give solace to His real mother and father, Devaki and Vasudeva. But when they heard that, the residents cried, “These are all lies! Krishna has no other mother and father but Nanda and Yasoda!” In this attached mood, the residents of Vrindavana considered all other pastimes of Krishna to be a big hoax. <\/p>\n

And so I prefer to think of Swamiji at 26 Second Avenue in his room at night, shaking with laughter after the Louis Abalofia “Be In.” “All right boys,” he said, “go home now, drink your milk and say your prayers. The store will be open at six in the morning. Jaya-O!<\/i>\u201d We said, \u201cJaya-O<\/i>, Swamiji, good night,” and we knew that we were going to see him in the morning. I prefer that. Yes, I have to do something for Swamiji now, and I am. But sometimes I think that Swamiji should never have left the Lower East Side. He could have just stayed there, and I could have stayed there too. That would have been nice. Swamiji could still be giving Bhagavad-gita<\/i> classes three nights a week. I could have continued at the welfare office; there was no need to quit. That’s when all the trouble started, when Swamiji went to San Francisco. They brought him there to take part in a concert with rock-and-roll bands like the Grateful Dead. I never thought it was a good idea.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a>November 14, 2016<\/b> <\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada\u2019s Gift of Vaisnava Compassion
\n<\/b>\n<\/p>\n

I can’t begin to comprehend all the suffering that is going on in the world, nor do I want to. It’s too bewildering and painful. I also cannot comprehend Prabhupada’s depth of compassion and his strong desire to bring everyone he encountered in his mission relief from their pangs. As a neophyte devotee at 26 Second Avenue I began repeating phrases like “the sufferings of repeated birth and death,” “the threefold miseries,” and “the fallen souls suffering in material nature”\u2014until these phrases sometimes became clich\u00e9s or merely philosophical concepts. But a mahatma<\/i> whose heart is expanded, actually feels compassion for the sufferings of other souls.<\/p>\n

As a Vaisnava acarya<\/i>, Srila Prabhupada cautioned whoever he met not to try the impossible. Sometimes a man would challenge Prabhupada, “What are you doing to help suffering humanity?” Or, “How can we help everyone in the world?” Prabhupada would reply, “Do you know all living beings? No, that is not possible.” Or he would remind the person with the world-embracing view they couldn’t do anything to alleviate suffering or even end their own suffering. Therefore, Prabhupada’s first lesson in compassion was to point out our ignorance of how to do good. The universe is not chaotic, meaningless suffering. There are strict laws that govern all activities, such as the laws of karma<\/i> and samsara<\/i> (transmigration of souls). If we ignorantly try to meddle with these laws with the sentiment of “doing good,” it will not help anyone.<\/p>\n

Every student of Bhagavad-gita<\/i> is faced with the misplaced compassion of Arjuna. Arjuna’s unwillingness to fight with his bodily relatives is sometimes praised as compassion, and sometimes criticized as ignorance and cowardice. When the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> first describes Arjuna as “overwhelmed with compassion,” Prabhupada comments, “He was also crying out of compassion. Such symptoms in Arjuna were not due to weakness, but to his softheartedness, a characteristic of a pure devotee of the Lord.” But a little later in the same chapter, Srila Prabhupada explains how Arjuna’s feelings are misplaced:<\/p>\n

No one knows where compassion should be applied. Compassion for the dress of a drowning man is senseless. A man fallen in the ocean of nescience cannot be saved simply by rescuing his outward dress\u2014the gross material body. One who does not know this and laments for the outward dress is called a sudra<\/i>, or one who laments unnecessarily. Arjuna was a ksatriya<\/i> and this conduct was not expected from him. Lord Krishna, however, can dissipate the lamentation of the ignorant man, and for this purpose the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> was sung by Him. (Bg<\/i>. 2.1, purport)<\/p>\n

Every human being should aspire to be kind to others, but the work begins with oneself. When we learn the first lessons of Bhagavad-gita,<\/i> we grasp the concept of self-realization: We are not the body, we are spirit soul. Only when this knowledge is established can we become responsible to help others. As Prabhupada would say, \u201cPhysician, heal thy self.\u201d People would sometimes misunderstand Srila Prabhupada and see him as a religionist who was concerned with the soul and God, but unconcerned for people’s suffering in the here-and-now. But this is not a fact. As a sadhu<\/i> who cuts illusion, Srila Prabhupada derided misplaced compassion but was himself engaged in the most important welfare work for all living beings. He was compassionate in the enlightened way, to give people Krishna consciousness. Relief from suffering comes when we cease the cycle of birth and death and attain the eternal spiritual world. He also felt transcendental frustration because he knew what had to be done, and he himself was doing it, but so few people were helping him. <\/p>\n

November 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was Hard to Keep Up with Prabhupada<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s health was good that summer and fall, or so it seemed. He worked long and hard, and except for four hours of rest at night, he was always active. He would speak intensively on and on, never tiring, and his voice was strong. His smiles were strong and charming; his singing voice loud and melodious. During kirtana<\/i> he would thump Bengali mrdanga<\/i> rhythms on his bongo drum, sometimes for an hour. He ate heartily of rice, dal<\/i>, cap\u0101t\u012bs<\/i> and vegetables with ghee. His face was full and his belly protuberant. Sometimes, in a light mood, he would drum with two fingers on his belly and say that the resonance affirmed his good health. His golden color had the radiance of youth and well-being preserved by seventy years of healthy, non-destructive habits. When he smiled, virility and vitality came on so strong as to embarrass a faded, dissolute New Yorker. In many ways, he was not at all like an old man. And his new followers completely accepted his active youthfulness as a part of the wonder of Swamiji, just as they had come to accept the wonder of the chanting and the wonder of Krishna. Swamiji wasn\u2019t an ordinary man. He was spiritual. He could do anything. None of his followers dared advise him to slow down, nor did it ever really occur to them that he needed such protection\u2014they were busy just trying to keep up with him. <\/p>\n

November 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Dreams Become Reality<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

During the first several months at 26 Second Avenue, Prabhupada had achieved what had formerly been only a dream. He now had a temple, a duly registered society, full freedom to preach, and a band of initiated disciples. When a godbrother had written asking him how he would manage a temple in New York, Prabhupada had said that he would need men from India but that he might find an American or two who could help. That had been last winter. Now Krishna had put him in a different situation. He had received no help from his godbrothers, no big donations from Indian business magnates, and no assistance from the Indian government, but he was finding success in a different way. These were \u201chappy days\u201d he said. He had struggled alone for a year, but then \u201cKrishna sent me men and money.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Yes, these were happy days for Prabhupada, but his happiness was not like the happiness of an old man\u2019s \u201csunset years\u201d as he fades into the dim comforts of retirement. His was the happiness of youth, a time of blossoming, of new powers, a time when future hopes expand without limit. He was seventy-one years old, but in ambition he was a courageous youth. He was like a young giant just beginning to grow. He was happy because his preaching was taking hold, just as Lord Caitanya had been happy when he had travelled alone to South India spreading the chanting of Hare Krishna. Prabhupada\u2019s happiness was that of a selfless servant of Krishna to whom Krishna was sending candidates for devotional life. He was happy to place the seed of devotion within their hearts and to train them in chanting Hare Krishna, hearing about Krishna, and working to spread Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Greed<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada continued to accelerate. After the first initiations and the first marriage, he was eager for the next step. He was pleased by what he had, but he wanted to do more. It was the greed of the Vaisnava\u2014not a greed to have sense gratification but to take more and more for Krishna. He would \u201cgo in like a needle and come out like a plough.\u201d That is to say, from a small, seemingly insignificant beginning, he would expand his movement to tremendous proportions. At least, that was his desire. He was not content with his newfound success and security at 26 Second Avenue, but was yearning to increase ISKCON as far as possible. This had always been his vision and he had written it into the ISKCON charter: \u201cto achieve real unity and peace in the world . . . within the members and humanity at large.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 18, 2016, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen Ginsberg Arrives on the Storefront Scene<\/p>\n

\nAllen Ginsberg lived nearby on East Tenth Street. One day he received a peculiar invitation in the mail:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Practice the transcendental sound vibration:<\/i><\/p>\n

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare<\/i><\/p>\n

Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.<\/i><\/p>\n

This chanting will cleanse the dust from the mirror<\/i><\/p>\n

of the mind.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

International Society for Krishna Consciousness<\/i><\/p>\n

Meetings at 7 A.M. daily<\/i><\/p>\n

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 7:00 P.M.<\/i><\/p>\n

You are cordially invited to come and<\/i><\/p>\n

bring your friends.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji had asked the boys to distribute it around the neighbourhood.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

One evening soon after he received the invitation, Allen Ginsberg and his roommate Peter Orlovsky arrived at the storefront in a Volkswagen minibus. Allen had been captivated by the Hare Krishna mantra several years before when he had first encountered it at the Kumbh Mela festival in Allahabad, India, and he had been chanting it often ever since. The devotees were impressed to see the world-famous author of Howl,<\/i> and leading figure of the beat generation, enter their humble storefront. His advocacy of free sex, marijuana and LSD, his claims of drug-induced visions of spirituality in everyday sights, his political ideas, his exploration of insanity, revolt and nakedness, and his attempts to create a harmony of likeminded souls\u2014were all influential on the minds of American young people, especially those living on the Lower East Side. Although by middle-class standards he was scandalous and dishevelled, he was, in his own right, a figure of worldly repute more so than anyone who had ever come to the storefront before. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 19, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen Ginsberg Comments<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen Ginsberg: Bhaktivedanta seemed to have no friends in America. He was alone, totally alone, and went, somewhat like a lone hippie, to the nearest refuge, the place where it was cheap enough to rent.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There were a few people sitting cross-legged on the floor. I think most of them were Lower East Side hippies who had just wandered in off the street, with beards and a curiosity and inquisitiveness and a respect for spiritual presentation of some kind. Some of them were sitting there with glazed eyes, but most of them were just like gentle folk\u2014bearded, hip, and curious. They were refugees from the middle class in the Lower East Side, looking exactly like the street <\/i>sadhus in India. It was very similar, that phase in American underground history. And I liked immediately the idea that Swami Bhaktivedanta had chosen the Lower East Side of New York for his practice. He\u2019d gone to the lower depths. He\u2019d gone to a spot more like the side streets of Calcutta than any other place.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen and Peter had come for the kirtana<\/i>, but it wasn\u2019t quite time\u2014Prabhupada hadn\u2019t come down. They presented a new harmonium to the devotees. \u201cIt\u2019s for the kirtanas<\/i>,\u201d said Allen. \u201cA little donation.\u201d Allen stood at the entrance to the storefront talking to Hayagriva, telling him how he had been chanting Hare Krishna around the world\u2014at peace marches, poetry readings, a procession in Prague, a writers\u2019 union in Moscow. \u201cSecular kirtana<\/i>,\u201d said Allen, \u201cbut Hare Krishna nonetheless.\u201d Then Prabhupada entered. Allen and Peter sat with the congregation and joined in the kirtana<\/i>. Allen played harmonium.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen: I was astounded that he\u2019d come with the chanting, because it seemed like a reinforcement from India. I had been running around singing Hare Krishna but had never understood exactly why or what it meant. But I was surprised to see that he had a different melody, because I thought the melody I knew was the melody, the universal melody. I had gotten so used to my melody that actually the biggest difference I had with him was over the tune\u2014because I\u2019d solidified it in my mind for years, and to hear another tune actually blew my mind.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 20, 2016<\/b> <\/p>\n

Allen Connects with Swami Bhaktivedanta<\/p>\n

The next morning Allen Ginsberg came by with a check and another harmonium. Up in Prabhupada\u2019s apartment he demonstrated his melody for chanting Hare Krishna, and then he and Prabhupada talked.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen: I was a little shy with him because I didn\u2019t know where he was coming from. I had that harmonium I wanted to donate, and I had a little money. I thought it was great now that he was here to expound on the Hare Krishna mantra\u2014that would sort of justify my singing. I knew what I was doing, but I didn\u2019t have any theological background to satisfy further inquiries, and here was someone who did. So I thought that was absolutely great. Now I could go around singing Hare Krishna, and if anybody wanted to know what it was, I could just send them to Swami Bhaktivedanta to find out. If anyone wanted to know the technical intricacies and the ultimate history, I could send them to him.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He explained to me about his own teacher and about Caitanya and the lineage going back. His head was filled with so many things and what he was doing. He was already working on his translations. He always seemed to be just sitting there day after day and night after night. I think he had one or two people helping him.<\/i><\/p>\n

November 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ginsberg Questions Prabhupada\u2019s Sadhu<\/i> Status <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was very cordial with Allen Ginsberg. Quoting a passage from Bhagavad-gita<\/i> where Krishna says that whatever a great man does, others will follow, he requested Allen to continue chanting Hare Krishna at every opportunity so that others would follow his example. He told about Lord Caitanya\u2019s organizing the first civil disobedience movement in India, leading a sankirtana<\/i> protest march against the Muslim ruler. Allen was fascinated. He enjoyed talking with the Swami.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

But they had their differences. When Allen expressed his admiration for a well-known Bengali holy man, Prabhupada said that the holy man was bogus. Allen was shocked. He\u2019d never before heard a swami severely criticize another\u2019s practice. Prabhupada explained on the basis of Vedic evidence, the reasoning behind his criticism, and Allen admitted that he had naively thought that all holy men were one-hundred-percent holy. But now he decided that he should not simply accept a sadhu<\/i>, including Prabhupada, on blind faith. He decided to see Prabhupada in a more severe, critical light.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen: I had a very superstitious attitude of respect, which probably was an idiot sense of mentality, and so Swami Bhaktivedanta\u2019s teaching was very good to make me question that. It also made me question him and not take him for granted. <\/i> <\/p>\n

November 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s \u201cAroma of Sweetness\u201d Conquers Ginsberg<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen: The main thing, above and beyond all our differences, was an aroma of sweetness that he had, a personal, selfless sweetness like total devotion. And that was what always conquered me, whatever intellectual questions or doubts I had, or even cynical views of ego. In his presence there was a kind of personal charm, coming from dedication, which conquered all our conflicts. Even though I didn\u2019t agree with him, I always liked to be with him.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen agreed, at Prabhupada\u2019s request, to chant more and to try to give up smoking.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you really intend to make these American boys into Vaisnavas?\u201d Allen asked.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Prabhupada replied happily, \u201cand I will make them all brahmanas<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Allen left a $200 check to help cover the legal expenses for extending the Swami\u2019s visa and wished him good luck. \u201cBrahmanas!\u201d<\/i> Allen didn\u2019t see how such a transformation could be possible.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Chant Versus LSD<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Greg Scharf (Brahmananda\u2019s brother) hadn\u2019t tried LSD, but he wanted higher consciousness so he decided to try the chanting.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Greg: I was eighteen. Everyone at the storefront had taken LSD and I thought maybe I should too, because I wanted to feel like part of the crowd. So I asked Umapati, \u201cHey, Umapati, do you think I should try LSD? Because I don\u2019t know what you guys are talking about.\u201d He said no, that Swamiji said you didn\u2019t need LSD. I never did take it, so I guess it was OK.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Hayagriva: Have you ever heard of LSD? It\u2019s a psychedelic drug that comes like a pill, and if you take it you can get religious ecstasies. Do you think this can help my spiritual life?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada: You don\u2019t need to take anything for your spiritual life. Your spiritual life is already here.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Had anyone else said such a thing, Hayagriva would never have agreed with him. But because Swamiji seemed \u201cso absolutely positive\u201d, therefore there was no question of not agreeing.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa: I knew Swamiji was in a state of exalted consciousness, and I was hoping that somehow he could teach the process to me. In the privacy of his room, I asked him, \u201cIs there spiritual advancement that you can make from which you won\u2019t fall back?\u201d By his answer\u2014\u201cYes\u201d\u2014I was convinced that my own attempts to be spiritual on LSD, only to fall down later, could be replaced by a total spiritual life such as Swamiji had. I could see he was convinced, and then I was convinced.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Greg: LSD was like the spiritual drug of the times and Swamiji was the only one who dared to speak out against it, saying it was nonsense. I think that was the first battle he had to conquer in trying to promote his movement on the Lower East Side. Even those who came regularly to the storefront thought that LSD was good.<\/i> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 24, 2016, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Teaches How to Stay High Forever<\/p>\n

\nProbably the most famous experiments with LSD in those days were by Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert, Harvard psychology instructors who studied the effects of the drug, published their findings in professional journals, and advocated the use of LSD for self-realization and fulfillment. After being fired from Harvard, Timothy Leary went on to become a national priest of LSD, and for some time ran an LSD commune in Millbrook, New York.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When the members of the Millbrook commune heard about the swami on the Lower East Side who led his followers in a chant that got you high, they began visiting the storefront. One night, a group of about ten hippies from Millbrook came to Swamiji\u2019s kirtana<\/i>. They all chanted (not so much in worship of Krishna as to see what kind of high the chanting could produce). After the lecture, a Millbrook leader asked about drugs. Prabhupada replied that drugs were not necessary for spiritual life, that they could not produce spiritual consciousness, and that all drug-induced religious visions were simply hallucinations. To realize God, was not so easy or cheap that one could do it just by taking a pill or smoking. Chanting Hare Krishna, he explained, was a purifying process to uncover one\u2019s pure consciousness. Taking drugs would increase the covering and bar one from self-realization.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cBut have you<\/i> ever taken LSD?\u201d The question now became a challenge.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Prabhupada replied. \u201cI have never taken any of these things, not even cigarettes or tea.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you haven\u2019t taken it, then how can you say what it is?\u201d The Millbrookers looked around, smiling. Two or three even burst out with laughter and snapped their fingers, thinking the Swami had been checkmated.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cI have not taken,\u201d Prabhupada replied regally from his dais. \u201cBut my disciples have taken all these things\u2014marijuana, LSD\u2014many times, and they have given them all up. You can hear from them. Hayagriva, you can speak.\u201d And Hayagriva sat up a little taller and spoke out in his best stentorian voice.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, no matter how high you go on LSD, you eventually reach a peak and then you have to come back down. Just like traveling into outer space in a rocket ship. [He gave one of Swamiji\u2019s familiar examples.] Your spacecraft can travel very far away from the earth for thousands of miles, day after day, but it cannot simply go on traveling and traveling. Eventually it must land. On LSD, we experience going up, but we always have to come down again. That\u2019s not spiritual consciousness. When you actually attain spiritual or Krishna consciousness, you stay high. Because you go to Krishna, you don\u2019t have to come down. You can stay high forever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 25, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Affirms: \u201cNo More Coming Down\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was sitting in his back room with Hayagriva and Umapati and other disciples. The evening meeting had just ended and the visitors from Millbrook had gone. \u201cKrishna consciousness is so nice, Swamiji,\u201d Umapati spoke up. \u201cYou just get higher and higher, and you don\u2019t come down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada smiled. \u201cYes, that\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cNo more coming down,\u201d Umapati said, laughing, and the others also began to laugh. Some clapped their hands, repeating, \u201cNo more coming down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The conversation inspired Hayagriva and Umapati to produce a new handbill:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

STAY HIGH FOREVER!<\/p>\n

No More Coming Down<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Practice Krishna Consciousness<\/p>\n

Expand your consciousness by practicing the<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

*TRANSCENDENTAL SOUND VIBRATION*<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

HARE KRISHNA HARE KRISHNA KRISHNA KRISHNA HARE HARE<\/p>\n

HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The leaflet went on to extol Krishna consciousness over any other high. It included phrases like \u201cend all bringdowns\u201d and \u201cturn on\u201d, and it spoke against \u201cemploying artificially induced methods of self-realization and expanded consciousness.\u201d Someone objected to the flyer\u2019s \u201cplaying too much off the hippie mentality,\u201d but Prabhupada said it was all right.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 26, 2016<\/b> <\/p>\n

Swamiji and His Boys Create a Sensation<\/p>\n

Into the chaotic pageant of Tompkins Square Park, Swamiji entered with his followers and sat down to hold a kirtana<\/i>. Three or four devotees who arrived ahead of him selected an open area of the park, put out the oriental carpet Robert Nelson had donated, sat down on it, and began playing karatalas<\/i> and chanting Hare Krishna. Immediately some boys rode up on their bicycles, braked just short of the carpet and stood astride their bikes, curiously and irreverently staring. Other passers-by gathered to listen.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Meanwhile Swamiji, accompanied by half a dozen disciples, was walking the eight blocks from the storefront. Brahmananda carried the harmonium and the Swami\u2019s drum. Kirtanananda, who was now shaven-headed at Swamiji\u2019s request and dressed in loose-flowing canary yellow robes, created an extra sensation. Drivers pulled their cars over to have a look, their passengers leaning forward, agape at the outrageous dress and shaved head. As the group passed a store, people inside would poke each other and indicate the spectacle. People came to the windows of their tenements, taking in the Swami and his group as if a parade were passing. The Puerto Rican tough guys, especially, couldn\u2019t restrain themselves from exaggerated reactions. \u201cHey, Buddha!\u201d they taunted. \u201cHey, you forgot to change your pyjamas!\u201d They made shrill screams as if imitating Indian war whoops they had heard in Hollywood westerns.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, A-rabs!\u201d exclaimed one heckler, who began imitating what he thought was an Eastern dance. No one on the street knew anything about Krishna consciousness, nor even of Hindu culture and customs. To them, the Swami\u2019s entourage was just a bunch of crazy hippies showing off. But they didn\u2019t quite know what to make of the Swami. He was different. Nevertheless, they were suspicious. <\/p>\n

November 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada Makes Headlines in The New York Times<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was early. Swamiji had not yet come down for class, and the sun had not yet risen. Satsvarupa and Kirtanananda sat on the floor of the storefront reading a clipping from the morning Times<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa: Has the Swami seen it?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Kirtanananda: Yes, just a few minutes ago. He said it\u2019s very important. It\u2019s historic. He especially liked that it was <\/i>The New York Times.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa (reading aloud): \u201cSWAMI\u2019S FLOCK CHANTS IN PARK TO FIND ECSTASY.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Fifty Followers Clap and Sway to Hypnotic Music at East Side Ceremony. Sitting under a tree in a Lower East Side park and occasionally dancing, fifty followers of a Hindu swami repeated a sixteen-word chant for two hours yesterday . . .<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It was<\/i> more than two hours.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

. . . for two hours yesterday afternoon to the accompaniment of cymbals, tambourines, sticks, drums, bells, and a small reed organ. Repetition of the chant, Swami A. C. Bhaktivedanta says, is the best way to achieve self-realization in this age of destruction. While children bicycled along the sunny walks, many in the crowd of about a hundred persons standing around the chanters found themselves swaying to, or clapping hands in time to the hypnotic rhythmic music. \u201cIt brings a state of ecstasy,\u201d said Allen Ginsberg the poet, who was one of the celebrants. \u201cFor one thing,\u201d Allen Ginsberg said, \u201cthe syllables force yoga breath control. That\u2019s one physiological explanation.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa and Kirtanananda (laughing): That\u2019s nonsense.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThe ecstasy of the chant or mantra Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare . . .<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Kirtanananda: The Swami said that\u2019s the best part. Because they have printed the mantra, it\u2019s all-perfect. Whoever reads this can be purified just the same as if they had chanted.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Satsvarupa (continuing):<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201c. . . has replaced LSD and other drugs for many of the swami\u2019s followers,\u201d Mr. Ginsberg said. He explained that Hare Krishna, pronounced Hahray, is the name for Vishnu, a Hindu god, as the \u201cbringer of light.\u201d Rama, pronounced Rahmah, is the incarnation of Vishnu as \u201cthe prince of responsibility.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

What? Where did he get that? It sounds like something out of an encyclopedia.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cThe chant, therefore, names different aspects of God,\u201d Mr. Ginsberg said.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Why so much from Mr. Ginsberg? Why not Swamiji?<\/i><\/p>\n

November 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The East Village Other<\/i> Displays Swamiji Front Page and Centerfold<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ravindra Svarupa was walking down Second Avenue on his way to the Swami\u2019s morning class when an acquaintance came out of the Gems Spa Candy and News Store and said, \u201cHey, your Swami is in the newspaper. Did you see?\u201d \u201cYeah,\u201d Ravindra Svarupa replied, \u201cThe New York Times.<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u201d his friend said. \u201cToday.\u201d And he held up a copy of the latest edition of The East Village Other<\/i>. The front page was filled with a two-color photo of the Swami, his hands folded decorously at his waist, standing in yellow robes in front of the big tree in Tompkins Square Park. He was speaking to a small crowd that had gathered around, and his disciples were at his feet. The big steeple of St. Brigid\u2019s formed a silhouette behind him.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Above the photo was the single headline, \u201cSAVE EARTH NOW!!\u201d and beneath was the mantra: \u201cHARE KRISHNA HARE KRISHNA KRISHNA KRISHNA HARE HARE HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE.\u201d Below the mantra were the words, \u201cSee Centerfold.\u201d That was the whole front page.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Ravindra Svarupa took the newspaper and opened to the center, where he found a long article and a large photo of Swamiji with his left hand on his head, grinning blissfully in an unusual, casual moment. His friend gave him the paper and Ravindra Svarupa hurried to Swamiji. When he reached the storefront, several boys went along with him to show Swamiji the paper.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cLook!\u201d Ravindra Svarupa handed it over. \u201cThis is the biggest local newspaper! Everybody reads it.\u201d Prabhupada opened his eyes wide. He read aloud, \u201cSave earth now.\u201d And he looked up at the faces of the boys. Umapati and Hayagriva wondered aloud what it meant\u2014\u201cSave earth now.\u201d Was it an ecological pun? Was it a reference to staving off nuclear disaster? Was it poking fun at Swamiji\u2019s evangelism?<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d said Umapati, \u201cafter all, this is The East Village Other<\/i>. It could mean anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cSwamiji is<\/i> saving the earth,\u201d Kirtanananda said.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cWe are trying to,\u201d Prabhupada replied, \u201cby Krishna\u2019s grace.\u201d Methodically, he put on the eyeglasses he usually reserved for reading the Bhagavatam<\/i> and carefully appraised the page from top to bottom. The newspaper looked incongruous in his hands. Then he began turning the pages. He stopped at the centerfold and looked at the picture of himself and laughed, then paused, studying the article. \u201cSo,\u201d he said, \u201cread it.\u201d He handed the paper to Hayagriva.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji and \u201cThe Hare Krishna Chanters\u201d Produce a Record Album<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Alan Kallman was a record producer. He had read the article in The East Village Other<\/i> about the swami from India and the mantra he had brought with him. When he had read the Hare Krishna mantra on the front page, he had become attracted. The article gave the idea that one could get a tremendous high or ecstasy from chanting. The Swami\u2019s Second Avenue address was given in the article, so one night in November, Alan and his wife visited the storefront.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As soon as Alan mentioned his idea about making a record, Prabhupada was interested. \u201cYes,\u201d he said, \u201cwe must<\/i> record. If it will help us distribute the chanting of Hare Krishna, then it is our duty.\u201d They scheduled the recording for two weeks later, in December, at the Adelphi Recording Studio near Times Square. Alan\u2019s wife was impressed by how enthusiastically the Swami had gotten to the point of making the record: \u201cHe had so much energy and ambition in his plans.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

At the studio, everyone accepted the devotees as a regular music group. One of the rock musicians asked them what the name of their group was and Hayagriva laughed and replied, \u201cThe Hare Krishna Chanters.\u201d Of course most of the devotees weren\u2019t actually musicians, and yet the instruments they brought with them\u2014a tambour, a large harmonium (loaned by Allen Ginsberg), and rhythm instruments\u2014were ones they had played during kirtanas<\/i> for months. So, as they entered the studio, they felt confident that they could produce their own sound. They just followed their Swami. He knew how to play and they knew how to follow him. They weren\u2019t just another music group. It was music, but it was also chanting, meditation, worship.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The first sound was the tambour, with its plucked, reverberating twang. An instant later Swamiji began beating the drum and singing, vande \u2019ham sri-guroh . . .<\/i>Then the whole ensemble put out to sea\u2014the tambour, the harmonium, the clackers, the cymbals, Rupanuga\u2019s bells, Swamiji\u2019s solo singing\u2014pushing off from their moorings, out into a fair-weather sea of chanting . . . lalita-sri-visakhanvitams ca <\/i>. . .<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s voice in the studio was very sweet. His boys were feeling love, not just making a record. There was a feeling of success and union, a crowning evening to all their months together.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

. . . Sri-krsna-caitanya, prabhu-nityananda . . .<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After a few minutes of singing prayers alone, Swamiji paused briefly while the instruments continued pulsing, and then began the mantra: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare. It was pure Bhaktivedanta Swami\u2014expert, just like his cooking in the kitchen, like his lectures. The engineers liked what they heard\u2014it would be a good take if nothing went wrong. The instruments were all right, the drum, the singing. The harmony was rough. But this was a special record\u2014a happening. The Hare Krishna Chanters were doing their thing, and they were doing it all right. Alan Kallman was excited. Here was an authentic sound. Maybe it would sell.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

After a few rounds of the mantra, the devotees began to feel relaxed, as though they were back in the temple, and they were able to forget about making mistakes on the record. They just chanted, and the beat steadied into a slightly faster pace. The word Hare<\/i> would come sometimes with a little shout in it, but there were no emotional theatrics in the chorus, just the straight response to the Swami\u2019s melody. Ten minutes went by. The chanting went faster, louder and faster\u2014Swamiji doing more fancy things on the drum, until suddenly . . . everything stopped, with the droning note of the harmonium lingering.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Alan came out of the studio: \u201cIt was great, Swami. Great. Would you like to just go right ahead and read the address now? Or are you too tired?\u201d With polite concern, pale, befreckled Alan Kallman peered through his thick glasses at the Swami. Swamiji appeared tired, but he replied, \u201cNo, I am not tired.\u201d Then the devotees sat back in the studio to watch and listen as Prabhupada read his prepared statement.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

November 30, 2016, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Worship of Srila Prabhupada by Listening<\/p>\n

\nSrila Prabhupada’s lectures were the main opportunity for everyone to associate with him in person. His lectures were intimate forums for the spiritual master to speak and for the disciple to hear. Prabhupada didn’t invite pomp, but he behaved with formality in the class. Those who attended knew that it was a serious happening. Devotees made sure that nothing disturbed this sacred function. In a sense, it was the major reason that Prabhupada had come here. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada personally felt that lecturing was an important way for him to associate with us. He took it as the duty of the Vaisnava acarya<\/i>. Prabhupada lectured even when his health was not good, and he was always enthusiastic. When he lectured, you were aware that you were not hearing just one person, but you were in the presence of a living parampara<\/i>. I remember feeling that from the very first times I heard Srila Prabhupada speak. Once I tried to convey it to one of my Lower East Side friends. I said, “He’s not just sitting here now, but what he says is connected and it’s going back thousands of years through all the different teachers and gurus. It’s actually going back to Lord Krishna when He first spoke the message, and in fact, it’s eternal.” <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

As with many things about Krishna consciousness, I have now come to accept this doctrine as matter-of-fact. But in the beginning it was a fascinating mystery, and an important reason to go and hear from Swamiji. He was with us at 26 Second Avenue, and yet he was repeating an ageless message. All the persons he spoke of, Lord Krishna, Narada Muni, Lord Brahma and so on, were all living when he spoke. And because of his faithfulness to the parampara<\/i>, the truth that Prabhupada spoke had not changed with the fashions and speculations of philosophers over the centuries. When Srila Prabhupada spoke authoritatively and with devotion about Sukadeva Gosvami and Maharaja Pariksit, or Arjuna and Krishna, it would actually be happening. By his words he bridged time, and the ancient past became a present reality.<\/p>\n

Prabhupada’s presentation was so real that it immediately worked. By lecturing first in America and then worldwide, he single-handedly spread the Krishna Consciousness Movement. He sometimes said, “Whatever change you see in my disciples, it has all come about by hearing.” Although young people coming to hear Srila Prabhupada in the ’60s and ’70s had been through many trips and disappointments, when they came in contact with Srila Prabhupada they sat like sages at his lotus feet and became satisfied. We thought, “Whatever else is going on in this phony, crazy world, Prabhupada is real and I’m going to be his devotee and serve Krishna.”<\/p>\n

Prabhupada didn’t intend that the parampara <\/i>of speaking should stop with him. When a guest asked Prabhupada, “How does one achieve this divine consciousness that you’re speaking of?\u201d, Prabhupada replied, “Come and hear from us. We are having classes Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Come and participate with the others.” Srila Prabhupada offered himself in that way. And because he is transcendental, he continues to live in sound.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

December 1, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada\u2019s Transcendental Musicality <\/p>\n

In the beginning, in the summer of 1966 at 26 Second Avenue, Swamiji played the one-headed bongo drum in leading the kirtana<\/i>. We had about three pairs of karatalas<\/i>, and they were played by the boys. One-two-three, one-two-three. Later a friend donated a big size khol<\/i> (an Indian wooden drum with straps and pegs, different than the clay mrdanga<\/i>). Swamiji began playing that, and you can hear it on the Happening record album kirtana<\/i> that was produced in December of 1966. <\/p>\n

Occasionally he would play a brass gong with a wooden peg, sometimes the khol<\/i>, but mostly karatalas<\/i>. He was a very artistic karatala<\/i> player. He would play the fast two beats of the three-beat rhythm by holding the cloths very tightly, but on the third beat he would relax the cloths and slide a kind of \u201csplash\u201d sound almost akin to what a jazz drummer does with his cymbal. It would produce a lively, melodious ring, and then he would tighten the cloths again for the first two beats of the rhythm. He played variations of this method, sometimes playing almost four beats or clashing the cymbals in a clopping way on the first two beats. <\/p>\n

The devotees loved to hear him play and to sing along in kirtana<\/i> with him. Such a simple time-keeping musical instrument, and yet he played it like a maestro. Now almost anyone with a sense of rhythm can passably play the karatalas<\/i> and some kirtaneers <\/i>play them even more complicated than Prabhupada did, but there was not\u2014 and will not be\u2013anyone who played them as sweetly and rhythmically as he did. He often participated with the karatalas<\/i> while his disciples lead the kirtana<\/i> in the later years. Yet in the beginning at 26 Second Avenue, Prabhupada led all the kirtanas<\/i>. It was unthinkable that a kirtana<\/i> could take place without him leading. It was like a holy rite that only he could perform. He did it with great concentration and loudly. He would keep the same tune and tempo, only gradually speeding up after a half-hour. He did the same thing two or three hours continually when he chanted on Sundays at Tompkins Square Park.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 2, 2016 <\/b> <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada\u2019s Ecumenical Message<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Even in the beginning, in the friendly and humble spirit of a Vaisnava, Srila Prabhupada encouraged everyone he met to chant the holy names of God, and to practice the essence of religion as contained in all scriptures: “Obey God’s laws.” Prabhupada’s uncompromising presentation of God consciousness may have disturbed some religionists, but if one carefully thinks about it, Prabhupada was only saying what was also said by the founders of the great religions. Those who wished to water down or change basic religious principles may have been disturbed by Srila Prabhupada’s insistence, but not those who were true seekers on the path of God consciousness.<\/p>\n

\nPrabhupada once humorously compared himself to a karate expert who knew how to push on the weak spot of the opponent. He was not a belligerent preacher looking for a fight, but he did see major weaknesses or hypocrisy in many who claimed to be following religion, and so he would always press on those points to bring out the falsity.<\/p>\n

Since he had traveled to the West, which was at least nominally Christian, he was prepared to regularly confront Christians as to why they did not obey the commandment, “Thou shalt not kill.” Srila Prabhupada saw this as a preliminary teaching and therefore it was a great defect if a Christian follower neglected it. By pointing to their failure in this one commandment, Prabhupada would dismantle their whole position.<\/p>\n

The \u201cdo-not-kill\u201d commandment has been interpreted by theologians to mean, “Thou shalt not murder.” In other words, they say it applies to human beings but not the killing of animals. Srila Prabhupada insisted, however, that in the original language of the Bible, the word is “kill” and it should certainly apply to animals. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The fact that an animal is a less intelligent creature should not make him a candidate for killing by the human being, who should be his protector. Srila Prabhupada’s preaching points out a major embarrassment and a major lack in these world religions which don’t practice ahimsa<\/i> towards animals. We should see Prabhupada’s confrontation in that way and not think of it as Hinduism, or think that he was just finding a way to trip up a religionist in order to defeat him in debate. Prabhupada was trying to be helpful.<\/p>\n

The fact is, Prabhupada was a universal teacher and the philosophy he represented is one that embraces love of God wherever it appears. Prabhupada would often mention the Bhagavatam<\/i> verse sa vai pumsam paro dharmo yato bhaktir adhoksaje. <\/i>In giving the purport of that verse, Prabhupada would say that real religion is not to be a member of a particular sect such as Hinduism, Christianity, Islam or Buddhism. But real religion is bhakti<\/i>, or love of God. That is the highest spiritual truth\u2014uninterrupted, unmotivated devotional service. Srila Prabhupada wanted to deepen the ecumenical exchange. He couldn\u2019t pretend to agree with the discrepancies of those who claim to be religionists, but who did not obey God’s commandment.<\/p>\n

December 3, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

By Prabhupada\u2019s Mercy We Can Remember Him<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

I have tried to elicit the cooperation of
\nmy subconscious, my peaceful body,
\nthe brain, the mind,
\nand whatever else Kapila
\ncounts in his 24 elements.<\/p>\n

But it’s only by Prabhupada’s mercy<\/p>\n

that I can remember him.<\/p>\n

<\/a> And memory comes from Krishna<\/p>\n

who is in my heart.<\/p>\n

Even as I marshal my tiny powers,<\/p>\n

my pen makes dandavats at every stroke.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

1965, New York City:<\/p>\n

Prabhupada stepped off the Jaladuta.<\/p>\n

Later he said, “I was in anxiety,<\/p>\n

a new man … didn’t know which bus to take.”<\/p>\n

Think of him<\/p>\n

carrying the message of Lord Caitanya<\/p>\n

“for you people.”<\/p>\n

He was anxious to catch the bus to Butler, Pa.,<\/p>\n

but much more than that\u2014I can feel it\u2014<\/p>\n

he was anxious to deliver me.<\/p>\n

Yes, me too.<\/p>\n

I was so anxious by 1965<\/p>\n

that I jumped out a window.<\/p>\n

Multiply my story by 3,000<\/p>\n

and that is the anxiety<\/p>\n

of Prabhupada landing in New York,<\/p>\n

looking around with his compassionate eyes.<\/p>\n

Traveler’s Aid helped him.<\/p>\n

He found the right bus.<\/p>\n

He found us.<\/p>\n

\nFifty years later:
\njust tell us where you are
\nso we can come to you
\nand tell you what we did.<\/p>\n

December 4, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, the Life of Our Spiritual Archives<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In 1965, about a year before I met Srila Prabhupada, I was confined to bed for six weeks with my legs in casts. During that time I used to daydream that I was a caretaker in a transcendental archives. I imagined a place where living scriptures were kept. Saints and scholars used to go there and meditate on the available wisdom. I wore the robes of a monk. It had an Eastern flair. Now things are much clearer, and I’m no longer seeking impersonal or vague forms of wisdom. I am fixed as a Bhagavad-gita<\/i> follower, a follower of Prabhupada, a worshiper of Lord Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead. I’m looking for memories of Srila Prabhupada. My own memory bank has stored versions of things Prabhupada did, and I’m grateful for these. But I’m looking for new threads, which may lead to new memories. And so I make requests in the spiritual archives. <\/p>\n

I am not the only person seeking in these transcendental archives. Nor am I the only one who is praising Prabhupada. There are many devotees, many of them poets and writers. Service by writing praises has been done over the centuries by devotees who have praised their spiritual masters, the previous acaryas<\/i> and the Supreme Lord. Even his many initiated disciples are not the only ones who are praising him. There are many Vaisnavas who praise Prabhupada. Some of them know him in his eternal rasa<\/i> with Krishna. Therefore, much Prabhupada-katha<\/i> is beyond me, but I’m satisfied in knowing my own relationship. There are many other things about Prabhupada I would like to know, but I don’t even know what to ask. At least I feel it is proper to ask for my own memories, which have somehow eluded me over the years.<\/p>\n

In the transcendental archives, memories of Prabhupada are preserved; his lila <\/i>is here as eternal music, literature, and eternal pastimes. The portion of Prabhupada’s pastimes that we took part in is only a very small part, but I request to see it again. Although I don’t know what is best for me, I want to hear of his first pastimes in New York in 1966. And I want to know the pastimes with His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada with his disciples in the world.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

It is also possible that by association with other devotees and writers in the transcendental archives, I can gain access to their resources and words of praise for the previous acaryas<\/i>. Even though one can be praising Madhavacarya or some other spiritual master, because they are Vaisnava poets and scholars, they may share with me their methods of inspiration and their specific usage of words. I can certainly use help. On my own, all I have is a 20th Century American sensibility, meagre schooling in the English language, and a struggle with my sadhana<\/i>. I want to come often to the transcendental library and become more accepted here. At present, I feel a bit lost, like a displaced person looking for his family roots, searching to see where his own name appears with Srila Prabhupada. I know everything is retained there and one just has to locate it.<\/p>\n

As I sit in my allotted place in the archives, waiting to see if my requests will be answered, I do some writing on my own. My spiritual friends like to hear what I am doing. So even before I receive any new information, I’m writing home to my friends, sharing what comes to mind. I hope that my requests will be heard, and that the influence of this place will bring more memories of Prabhupada. In the meantime, by practice, I may improve. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 5, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The 26 Second Avenue Summer of 1966<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Don’t reject the wisps of the past.<\/p>\n

I once met Swamiji alone on the street,
\ngoing to his apartment.<\/p>\n

I was so new he called me “Steve.”
\nUp the stairs. He gets his key out.
\nOpens the door and we both go in.
\nNo one else is around.<\/p>\n

“I want to become a trustee,” I say,
\nreferring to a plan he had mentioned:
\nFor forty dollars a month
\nyou would get privileges in his society,
\nbooks, etc. It sounded good,<\/p>\n

so I paid a month down.<\/p>\n

I think he gave me a receipt.<\/p>\n

He was wearing an American sweatshirt<\/p>\n

of red or peach color<\/p>\n

and he pulled it over his head.<\/p>\n

I noticed his protruding belly.<\/p>\n

He sat at his place.<\/p>\n

I was shy and ready to leave.<\/p>\n

Then he said, “You are a young man,<\/p>\n

you will live a long time.<\/p>\n

I am an old man, I won’t live as long.<\/p>\n

So you should use your life for Krishna consciousness.”<\/p>\n

It was too much for me to hear.<\/p>\n

People I knew didn’t talk about death.<\/p>\n

So I said, “Just because you’re older doesn’t mean<\/p>\n

that you won’t live longer than me.”<\/p>\n

“That’s in unusual cases,” he said,<\/p>\n

“but normally a young man outlives an old man.”<\/p>\n

And so I became a trustee,<\/p>\n

and had an exchange<\/p>\n

with this very unusual, saintly person<\/p>\n

who brought the Hare Krishna mantra<\/p>\n

and the brick-colored Bhagavatam<\/i><\/p>\n

and his “Society” for Krishna consciousness.<\/p>\n

Prabhupada, do I make too much<\/p>\n

of one barely remembered moment?<\/p>\n

Or do I make too little of it?<\/p>\n

I don’t know if I’ll live as long as you did.<\/p>\n

Will I be able to give myself to Krishna<\/p>\n

and to others, as you did?<\/p>\n

That’s what you are waiting to see:<\/p>\n

it’s what you asked me to do<\/p>\n

the day I paid forty dollars<\/p>\n

and became a trustee.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 6, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\u201cHow Shall I Serve You?\u201d <\/p>\n

I would never just throw a question like, “What do you want me to do?” at Srila Prabhupada. Even in 1966 I wanted Swamiji to know that I already had an idea what I should do. I wanted him to know I was acting on my idea. But at the same time, from the very beginning, I wanted my spiritual master to know I was open to being disciplined by him, open to his changing my understanding of what I should be doing. If he ordered something that seemed as bitter as poison to me, I could ask him to explain why I must do it, but when he explained, I would follow. For example, when I wanted to quit my New York City welfare office job that year, I thought it was the right thing for my spiritual advancement. He explained why it was better to keep the job. Mainly, he explained that he wanted me to keep the job and to donate money to the society. Later, when I was his personal servant, I explained that I wanted to do some other service. He said that I was being whimsical. That was a tough one. <\/p>\n

All things considered, we want to please him and serve his purposes. I’m doing it to some degree, following the sannyasa-dharma<\/i>, writing books . . . but I know I can do a lot better. There is much more mercy I could be receiving from him. <\/p>\n

So I ask him, in my conditioned way, “How may I serve you?” When Srila Prabhupada asked his spiritual master that question, he got a direct response: “Become a preacher in English.” That was a sufficiently broad reply; Prabhupada had to fill it out with his own initiative. It took years for Srila Prabhupada to prepare and find the opportunity to do it in the grand way he did. I needn’t be afraid to ask. <\/p>\n

That is my main question: “Is what I am doing pleasing to you? What do you want me to do? How can I best improve? What do you want me to do? Please awaken in me my original spirit to carry out your orders wholeheartedly. Please give me the strength to serve you.”<\/p>\n

Old emotions that first surfaced in \u201966 are returning\u2014my desire to serve him, the strong regret for my lack of surrender. If I am fortunate, I will cry tears of repentance. The experience is shattering my self-image, transforming me. There is no room for complacency when you are with Srila Prabhupada. By seeing Srila Prabhupada’s own complete dedication to Lord Krishna and his spiritual master, I am forced to recognize my own lacking. The destruction of my self-image is like a building crashing to the ground. <\/p>\n

(I can’t guess what he would communicate and how I would respond, but I know it would be intense. The message would be, “You are not as Krishna conscious as you think you are.” The purpose would be to teach me humility and to bring me back to reality.)<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 7, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji\u2019s Thriving 26 Second Avenue Center <\/p>\n

Swamiji developed 26 Second Avenue so that it operated three nights a week as a kirtana<\/i> and lecture program. The original tiny white piece of paper in the window had been replaced by a restaurant-type sign containing the name of the establishment and times of the classes. (Later Swamiji would post the title of the lecture for the night, and it would be one of my first services to change it according to the title of the lecture. It took a long time for \u201cMatchless Gifts\u201d to be replaced by \u201cRadha Krishna Temple.\u201d In fact, I am not sure if it was ever done.) <\/p>\n

The painting of the sankirtana<\/i> group of Panca-tattva was done by Harvey Cohen, later initiated as Haridasa. On the other side of the painting, near the announcement sign, was the low-level shelf put there by the previous proprietor. When the room functioned as the temple the shelf became a space to put the smelly shoes of the congregation. <\/p>\n

To the left of the storefront was a launderette. It said, \u201cOpen 24 hours,\u201d but the metal shutter was usually closed shut. The red door in-between was the entrance to the apartment building in the back courtyard where Swamiji rented an apartment on the second floor. The courtyard was picturesque for the Lower East Side with a few weedy trees, plants and cement benches. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada very much liked his setup of storefront and private rear apartment, although he could barely raise the rent each month. To have the phone installed one had to make a large down payment to Con Edison. But by Swamiji\u2019s personal charm he went to Con Edison and convinced them to install the phone free of charge because he was a religious mendicant and was conducting an important mission. But he soon became so disturbed by people calling him on the phone in the night time that he had it removed. <\/p>\n

He used to look out the window of his apartment at the view on First Street. He would repeatedly say about his stay at 26 Second Avenue (ISKCON kept it until 1968), \u201cthose were happy days.\u201d On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays the hall would be half-filled with guests, and once he started Sunday Feasts it was filled to capacity, even overflowing into the courtyard. <\/p>\n

Sometimes Bowery bums and dishevelled young hippies would wander into the storefront without a purpose of spirituality. Swamiji would allow them to sit if they did not make a disturbance. If they disturbed, he would ask one of his boys, like Brahmananda or Hayagriva, to remove them. <\/p>\n

O Prabhupada, please let us think of you. You are everyone’s friend; you are my friend. You addressed us with love from the lectern at 26 Second Avenue. Soon I will hear your lecture again on tape. Everything you wrote and said is infused with truth and can save us. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada, where are you now? Am I being impertinent by asking that question? I am only asking you this because I want to be with you. <\/p>\n

I know one answer to that question: you are in my heart. We are still together at 26 Second Avenue like in the old days of ISKCON. I have my duties assigned by you\u2014garbage to empty and dishes to wash, guests to talk to and devotees to counsel. And I still have my writing and reading. My service to you is ongoing. You haven’t cut me off. You are with us if we want you to be. There is no need to feel apart. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada, I want to serve you with love, not just out of duty. Please teach me to give myself to you.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 8, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Is Here! <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

The 26 Second Avenue devotees are excited and ecstatic when Swamiji is in their midst. Their love for what he brings to their lives and the charisma of his presence makes them smile and dance. He is the most important celebrity to them, more than the president of the United States or any popular entertainer. This response to Prabhupada by the devotees creates scenes which seem fanatical to outsiders. Why should these young people be so much attracted to this \u201cold man\u201d? But the outsiders who wander into the storefront don\u2019t understand. Swamiji is bringing Krishna, the Supreme Lord, to the devotees. He is Krishna\u2019s direct representative. They want to surround him in love, retain his transcendental words and cherish a visual image of his holy form. They want to make eye contact with him, to catch his attention and if possible, his smile. Hearing Swamiji\u2019s voice or seeing his form is great solace and important inspiration. The devotees do not overdo their enthusiasm for being near Swamiji. He deserves every bit of it. <\/p>\n

Later, Prabhupada would sometimes express transcendental annoyance at being photographed so much and recorded by multiple tape recorders. However, he considered the recording of his lectures important enough to do it himself with his own reel-to-reel tape recorder in 1966. The crowds of eager devotees pressing to be near him may have seemed amusing or overdone to an outsider, but the devotees were right in their guru-bhakti<\/i>, and it never went in vain.<\/p>\n

December 9, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Being the Focus of Prabhupada\u2019s Attention <\/p>\n

I like looking at old photos of Srila Prabhupada at 26 Second Avenue. I have one where Prabhupada is talking. Srila Prabhupada had such unique facial expressions. I can’t really describe them. Sometimes when he was observing or listening to someone else, he would let his mouth fall open a bit. It seemed to aid his concentration on the other person. <\/p>\n

He often seemed simultaneously amused and absorbed in what was going on. His powers of concentration were so great that we could feel his intelligence penetrating into the situation. What mercy to be scrutinized by him, even if it meant he saw your faults. Prabhupada used to playfully tease one devotee for not shaving his head and maintaining \u201cShakespearean locks.\u201d Gargamuni was a loyal follower, raising money for the temple by buying loose incense, packaging it, and selling it in the \u201chead shops\u201d and at the temple. For his ability to raise money, Srila Prabhupada wittily nicknamed him \u201cGargamoney.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 10, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada is Each Devotee\u2019s Closest Friend <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When I think of my relationship with Srila Prabhupada, which started in the summer of \u201966 and continues eternally, I think the most crucial point is to always be able to turn to him. Perhaps that is why I prefer to remember him in the early days of ISKCON, when turning to Prabhupada was as easy as walking into his room. Our guru-disciple contract is still valid, perhaps even more valid now than it was fifty years ago, and I have come to value more his transcendental intimacy with Krishna. Prabhupada let it be easy at the beginning. But now I aspire for that greater intimacy. <\/p>\n

The most important thing about Prabhupada is that he is a self-realized, pure devotee in parampara<\/i>. But where does that leave me? Do I have a place with him? I need a pure devotee in parampara<\/i> to lead me out of the material world. I don’t want to be left behind, wandering in maya<\/i>. I need him. <\/p>\n

Certainly I am flawed and sometimes fear Prabhupada’s displeasure. Perhaps he will reprimand me, or perhaps he will give me something new to do for him. I’m not sure what to expect, and I sometimes doubt whether I will respond to him as fully as I should or want to. Pleasing the spiritual master is a delicate thing\u2014as conditioned souls, we are so filled with our own desires. But I know Prabhupada accepts me anyway. I have faith that he will help me now and always, and when I submit to the discipline of the spiritual master, these desires are dovetailed by him in Krishna’s service. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada is a giant compared to me; he has something very great to give me, and he is just waiting for me to want it enough before he will give it to me. <\/p>\n

December 11, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Reveals the Panca-Tattva<\/p>\n

Before leaving for California, one of Swamiji\u2019s first-initiates, Haridasa (Harvey Cohen), gave Swamiji his original rendering of the Panca-Tattva. Swamiji was pleased and placed it in the window of his new storefront at 26 Second Avenue. The picture showed Lord Caitanya in a yellow dhoti<\/i>, Lord Nityananda in a bluish dhoti<\/i>, Advaita Acarya in a full white beard and white dhoti<\/i>, Gadadhara with arms upraised in reddish dhoti<\/i>, and Srivasa Acarya with shaved head and hands in pranams.<\/i> Another devotee, perhaps Haridasa Thakura, was playing the mrdanga<\/i>. There were other dancers and players in the background. <\/p>\n

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Some passers-by were naturally critical, thinking the long-haired young dancers were strange\u2014perhaps women or transvestites. (They didn\u2019t stop to think that if Lord Jesus raised his arms and danced, he would look much the same as the men depicted in this sankirtana party.) <\/i> Others were intrigued, couldn\u2019t figure it out, but liked the occult aura. So even though the characters in the picture were a little strange for the Lower East Side hippies to comprehend, it was certainly conceivable that a group of mind-expanding, ecstatic nonconformists\u2014Lord Caitanya\u2019s sankirtana<\/i> party\u2014would appear on Second Avenue in a bare, storefront window under a big sign reading \u201cMatchless Gifts.\u201d <\/p>\n

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It made even more sense when, after a few weeks of operation, Prabhupada had people inside the storefront up on their feet and dancing like the figures in the painting. Then the painting became an invitation to come on in and join the sankirtana<\/i> song and dance. <\/p>\n

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December 12, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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What Is He Thinking?<\/p>\n

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No one could look as serious and grave as Srila Prabhupada. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. The corners of his mouth turned down. He had so much to bear and his followers were always demanding that he look and act at the highest level of inspiration. He was naturally on that level, but still it was demanding. He was always giving himself for Krishna’s service. <\/p>\n

What is he thinking? His face shines with a soft aura of dedication and inner absorption. He seems to be thinking of Krishna’s mission. He will be speaking the message of Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. He will not concoct anything new. I have seen him look pleased and soft-hearted as he does in this photo many times, but at the next moment, another expression might pass over his face\u2014his eyebrows might furrow in worry, or there might be a sudden sadness in his eyes. Was it compassion? Was he feeling an intense spiritual emotion? <\/p>\n

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No one can understand his mind. He had so many levels. On one level he maybe saw some discrepancies in the temple construction, or in the arati<\/i> as it was being performed by his disciples; I cannot even guess at other, deeper levels. <\/p>\n

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December 13, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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The Whorl at the Center of the Lotus<\/p>\n

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Another snapshot. This picture looks like Vrindavana at the grand opening. Srila Prabhupada is completely surrounded by his male devotees on one side and the women on the other. One of the women is his sister, I think. Prabhupada is like a lotus. He wears light, tan-saffron, a delicate garland, and his head is tilted slightly to one side as he plays karatalas.<\/i><\/p>\n

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<\/a>Srila Prabhupada is satisfied in seeing Krishna. He installed the Deities for our benefit. Here he is fulfilling the Gurv-astakam<\/i> verses, chanting in Mahaprabhu\u2019s kirtana<\/i>, leading his disciples in Deity worship of Radha and Krishna in the gorgeous temple puja<\/i>. He is also delivering the rainfall of mercy to put out samsara\u2019s<\/i> fire. He should be worshiped as good as God because he is the confidential servant of Krishna. He is very dear to Krishna and can reciprocate with Him in many forms, including the arca-vigraha<\/i>. <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada worked hard to build and open the temples. Now we continue to serve him by keeping the temples alive with sravanam-kirtanam<\/i>. Thank you, Srila Prabhupada, for giving us this glimpse of you receiving darsana<\/i> of the Deity. You look quiet and self-sustained, as if you are all alone, even though you are pressed on all sides by hundreds of devotees. Therefore, I say lotus. <\/p>\n

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December 14, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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The Reality<\/p>\n

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I can\u2019t do justice to the reality of life. This photo is once-removed from the reality, and my description of it is twice-removed. But devotion, even one drop of it, can immediately penetrate time, memory, and photo-moment poses. I look for that drop to spring out of my heart when I look at the photo of Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

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This picture was taken in Srila Prabhupada\u2019s room (not the present residence) at Krishna-Balarama Mandhir. He is wearing the rust-colored sweater, and from the devotees gathered there I can tell it\u2019s India circa 1971-72. Syamasundara, Gurukripa, Rsi Kumara, Revatinandana, Pancadravida, Mahamsa, and one lady, barely visible, in the back, maybe Visakha. I see the dictaphone on his desk with the dust cover on it. Sheet-covered bolster pillows. I am curious where this room is, set up for his use with the low desk, but I can\u2019t tell.<\/p>\n

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I know the layout of this desk. These objects are like exact paraphernalia for a special yajna<\/i>, known in detail only by his intimate servants and secretaries. Eyeglasses case, container for tilaka<\/i>, desk lamp, stainless steel water cup, a bell to call his servant. Other items are optional\u2014the picture of Krishna running to His mother, a small Radha-Krishna painting in a frame, a picture of his Guru Maharaj.<\/p>\n

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Srila Prabhupada is gesturing with his left hand. It is intriguing to see the disciples\u2019 faces as they listen intently to their guru. Everyone goes through so much in their minds. Many of the devotees gave up strict practice after some years, but they retained deep impressions of Srila Prabhupada.<\/p>\n

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Prabhupada, you were always getting things started. Your whole time preaching in this world was digging hard earth, planting\u2014harvesting too\u2014but always working with raw materials, men and women and Indians and sadhus<\/i> and construction crews and cement. I don\u2019t know exactly what you are saying in this picture. I don\u2019t even see the microphone recording your words. There is a small pack of letters on your desk. I know you are probably preaching, saying something about the general ignorance of Kali-yuga and describing the various misunderstandings you want your disciples to avoid. You usually didn\u2019t tell us directly that we were the mistaken ones you referred to. You spoke of mayavadis<\/i> and mundane politicians and envious people. We knew the kind of people we had to avoid if we wanted to keep our bhakti-lata<\/i> growing. One thing is for sure. You are a fit spiritual master that can comfort us through a life beset with doubts.<\/p>\n

December 15, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Deliverer of a Rich, Eternal Message<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada embraces opportunities to speak of Krishna at 26 Second Avenue. He recites premadhvani <\/i>prayers and mangalacarana<\/i> prayers before the verse of the day. “My dear boys and girls,” he says, “I thank you very much.” He speaks of the parampara<\/i> from Lord Caitanya. He speaks of his unfinished work. He talks of Krishna consciousness and the great need for it. We are inspired to take up Krishna consciousness by his words. Yes, Srila Prabhupada delivered a powerful, personal message now preserved in his tapes and in his books. We are never without him\u2014listen. Now he’s glorifying the holy name. <\/p>\n

“I have nothing new to declare,” Srila Prabhupada says. “Chant Hare Krishna.” The same mantra he introduced to us in 1966 we chant today without change. “It is Lord Caitanya’s desire that by this simple method you can become perfect and escape the horrible effects of Kali-yuga and repeated birth and death.” <\/p>\n

He asks the young men and women present to take part in preaching. Try to tell others about Krishna consciousness, whoever you meet. In this way you may all become gurus.\u201d Srila Prabhupada then leaves the room, first bowing down to a picture of Panca-tattva. Everyone prostrates themselves, sincerely saying, “Jaya Srila Prabhupada!” <\/p>\n

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December 16, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u201cMy Swamiji\u201d <\/p>\n

I loved my Swamiji, even when externally he did not appear happy. I knew that internally he was always all right, surrendered to guru and Krishna and feeling transcendental bliss. He appeared to tolerate old age and disease, but in actuality he had a spiritualized body. It was always wrong to judge him as an ordinary man. He took deep pleasure and satisfaction in creating new followers for Lord Caitanya. He never tired of his routine of kirtana<\/i> and lecture, and neither did his disciples. There was always something new, something deepening in the process and in the relationship. He was situated far above us, but he patiently fed us the nectar of Vedic topics and helped us gradually advance from our novice status. <\/p>\n

The devotees tried to prepare a beautiful sitting place with pillows and upholstery, and he fit into it perfectly, fulfilling the role of Founder-Acarya. He played the karatalas<\/i> expertly, and the devotees\u2019 hearts rang with joy. They were completely respectful and submissive to him, and he commanded this, he didn\u2019t demand it. A crowded temple room full of devotees watched his every move, and some of them thought he was looking at them only. This was a phenomenon that regularly occurred. In fact, his eyes roamed throughout the room to each and every soul. <\/p>\n

They knew they were fortunate to be in his presence and their hearts and minds went out to him, just wishing to be accepted as his student and servant. In the somber visage of Swamiji, he controlled all those devotees who were fortunate enough to attend this occasion and surrender to him. <\/p>\n

December 17, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Turning to Swamiji in the Here and Now <\/p>\n

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Now Prabhupada is descending the stairs to the storefront, about to give the Wednesday evening Bhagavad-gita<\/i> class. He’s barefoot and wearing a silk dhoti<\/i>. He’s smiling more radiantly than we have ever seen him smile. He is glowing with health. He is coming straight from the spiritual world, just as Narada Muni does. <\/p>\n

What would I ask him if this scene were occurring today, with me at the foot of the stairs? A real disciple loves his guru through thick and thin. He should have deep appreciation for what his spiritual master has given him, as is summed up in this verse, “I was standing in darkness with my eyes shut and my spiritual master came and opened my eyes with the torchlight of knowledge. Therefore I offer him my repeated obeisances.” So what would my questions be? Do I need to ask him anything? Before I asked, I would want to fall at his feet and thank him and praise him. Then: <\/p>\n

\u201cI want to always be your devotee. I know I make many mistakes. You know that I made mistakes when you were present and maybe I make even more mistakes now. <\/p>\n

\u201cTo you, I must admit I don’t know what is best. If I come before you in a self-defensive way, I’m not honoring your right to be my preceptor. As you wrote of your Guru Maharaja, \u2018You hold the mace, you have the right.\u2019 <\/p>\n

\u201cI know you haven’t come today to hear me explain myself. Is there anything you wish to instruct me about?\u201d I should leave it up to him. \u201cPlease tell me what you think and want of me.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cHow can I improve my japa<\/i>? I know the answer. But . . .\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cHow should I proceed? Should I continue my writing life and the kind of preaching I do?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about my relationship with my Godbrothers?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I aspire for something more when I can’t even practice the preliminary stages?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want me to do?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know me now, who I am?\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cHave I failed you? And if so, please tell me what I need to do so I can be pleasing to you again.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cPlease give me the strength to serve you.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cYou have written in your books that the spiritual master is always right; the genuine disciple follows his guru explicitly and implicitly.\u201d <\/p>\n

I don’t think I can fill in Prabhupada’s words in this imaginary dialogue. By writing out my own words to him, however, I feel even stronger that I know what I must do. I have to serve in the absence of Prabhupada’s direct words; that’s how it actually is. That’s what serving in separation is about. You remember the orders he gave you, both generally and specifically, you look constantly in your heart, you use your intelligence, and you consult with Godbrothers while being obedient to the society of devotees. There is no simple formula. You can’t just “ask Srila Prabhupada.” Why should I have the privilege of asking him if others don’t? We have to struggle. And he is with us, informing us, according to the degree of our surrender. <\/p>\n

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December 18, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Storefront of the Mind <\/p>\n

I relish quietly listening to recordings of Prabhupada singing his kirtana<\/i> in 1966. Hearing those tapes is the way I can feel my own love for Krishna and Prabhupada, which may be contrary to the impressions I get when I chant and cannot pay attention to the sound. I do love chanting when I hear Prabhupada singing and playing that drum, inducing us to go to the spiritual world. If I can sing with Prabhupada, something will be evoked in my heart. We always think we don’t have time to chant, although we seem to have time to talk and pile up sentences one after another. Do we think singing with Prabhupada when he was introducing Krishna consciousness in New York City is unproductive? <\/p>\n

Yes, Prabhupada started his movement at that same 26 Second Avenue that today is a lively preaching center in New York, where you can walk off the streets and be with devotees in an atmosphere filled with the hopes of a new generation. It’s right there in New York City, that transcendental oasis. At the same time, I’m really talking about the 26 Second Avenue that exists only in my mind, only in my memory. It does exist. <\/p>\n

When I hear him singing like that and I start to flash back a little on it, I wonder, “Prabhupada, are you going to come back and do it again? Are you going to bring us to you again? You brought us out of such total forgetfulness that we can’t even call it forgetfulness.” Theoretically, we may say we had forgotten Krishna, and that’s true, but Prabhupada woke us up. <\/p>\n

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December 19, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Swamiji\u2019s Eternal Servants Rediscover Themselves<\/p>\n

At the storefront in 1966 Prabhupada said that in our past lives some of us must have been Indians and now had been born in this part of the world to continue the sankirtana<\/i> movement. When I heard that I started to think how firm I had been in my other identity\u2014when I was a young man who dressed all in black and who had broken away from his parents on Staten Island and had now lived for two years on his own on the Lower East Side. I wasn’t doing so well actually, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I didn’t go home except to try to get some money and feel bad again. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada took me beyond that identity to a completely new consciousness. Talk about quantum leaps! I remember one devotee telling about his own change. He was a student at the University of Buffalo. He talked about his change from “buffalo to disciple.” We were buffaloes, ignoramuses. Then we became disciples of the pure devotee of Krishna. <\/p>\n

If Prabhupada would come back again, maybe I could make another quantum leap from vaidhi-bhakti<\/i> practitioner to something more, from someone who has lost some of his daring and who is making an all-out effort to convince himself and Krishna that he can go on writing and reading, chanting and hearing, developing his inner life, and who thinks that somehow this will do. I could be transformed into something more pleasing to Prabhupada, or at least I could know what Prabhupada wants. It’s not that I have to change the nature of my activities. Prabhupada might say, “This is good. Go on doing it. Now I’m going to show you the means to intensify it. You want to be an obscure prayer-maker? You want to be addicted to reading my books? That’s good. You think that by doing this you will become a potent preacher of my message? All right, I’ll allow you to do that service.\u201d Whatever it is, Prabhupada can tell us. Or he might tell us something completely different. He might say, “Go to a new city and start up Krishna consciousness. Do what I want. Be with me. Be like me.”<\/p>\n

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December 20, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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The Cleansing Power of Swamiji\u2019s Hare Krishna Mantra <\/p>\n

When I hear the chorus from the 1966 “Happening” album: (Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare), I think of it washing out the sins of those boys and a few girls who were up to their necks in the New York City counterculture. Not only counterculture, but square culture. Square culture we had been raised in and rebelled from. Now on top of it, we had the corrupt film, or icing, of trying to be young hippies. So much nonsense we picked up from others\u2014our leaders\u2014Timothy Leary, Allen Ginsberg. We were such confused people. Then suddenly, “Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna”\u2014Prabhupada’s beating on his one-headed drum led us out of all of it. All that sin getting washed out. Hare Krishna is a washing song, a cleansing song. <\/p>\n

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It’s a different kind of cleansing because it produces tears. Those tears clean the body and soul and mind. And whether we know it or not, the chanting can take us out of the material world if we just keep with it. It’s not like any other singing. It seems to be ordinary, but that’s because we don’t understand what liberation is. Liberation doesn’t mean that suddenly your body is immune from birth, death, disease, and old age, or that you suddenly sprout two extra arms. It means that instead of doing things for yourself, you do them for Krishna under the spiritual master’s direction. <\/p>\n

In our case, we found ourselves chanting just a few blocks away, in Tompkins Square Park, to the thud of several conga drums and the strummed chords of a folk guitar. We would normally have been chanting political slogans, but we were chanting the Hare Krishna mantra with the Swami. It was a washing, cleansing. <\/p>\n

December 21, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Srila Prabhupada was \u201cRight On\u201d<\/p>\n

It’s a funny thing how Prabhupada didn’t appear simple, at least externally. He was not a village boy, but raised in civilized Calcutta. No one could cheat him. He wasn’t part of the world of ambiguity. At the same time, he was innocent and pure, deep and strong in his Krishna consciousness. Prabhupada didn’t flatter people. He was always polite, but he insisted on speaking the truth. That’s what we’re really not able to do, at least not to the same degree. We’re too afraid of our own hypocrisy and we don’t have the same strength. Neither do we have the same depth of compassion. <\/p>\n

No one can know Prabhupada’s mind, but he was as they say, \u201cRight on.\u201d He stays on, whereas we make tentative approaches\u2014we go forward, retreat, don’t quite like the way we present things, feel the opposite, try to explain that too, all in the name of honesty. <\/p>\n

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Turning to the material world of crumpled leaves on winter trees seems to be my song. When I try to reach a simple level of prayer: \u201cO Lord! O God! O Krishna! I am a sinner, please relieve me.\u201d I see that I can\u2019t do that unless I drop my sophisticated pose and just cry out, \u201cHelp me, Lord!\u201d I feel the ambiguity and acknowledge it and call it honestly. But Prabhupada wasn\u2019t like that. He didn\u2019t know ambiguity. He was always, honestly, \u201cRight on.\u201d <\/p>\n

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December 22, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Looking for Prabhupada <\/p>\n

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In the confidentiality of our early exchanges with Prabhupada in 1966, we asked him, “Who is Krishna? How can we find Him?” Swamiji\u2019s answer was that He is found in the Vedic literatures and by devotional service He will be revealed to us. This led us to other questions like, “How can we always have confidence that this gradual pace is best?” The answer was that we have to be patient. There is no other way. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada really was\u2014and is\u2014available to us. We are never devoid of his association. All we need is a little faith. We don’t have to give up our regular duties in Prabhupada’s service to go off and look for Prabhupada. Prabhupada (and Krishna) reveal themselves through our service. Although we speak of patience, we don’t have to wait ten thousand years before we receive any revelation. All we have to do is look in the right place. <\/p>\n

We keep looking for ecstasy in illicit acts or in places where our pleasure causes pain to others. Prabhupada taught us that with humility and contrition, we can seek the path of nectar in service to Krishna. He also taught us to be patient with the dryness that comes due to our offenses. <\/p>\n

We still have doubts. How do we know that the nectar of our service is actually the nectar of Krishna consciousness and not the usual folly of the conditioned soul? We have to consult. We have to consult our hearts, pray to Krishna, and especially consult with the spiritual master. <\/p>\n

We shouldn’t think that approaching Prabhupada is completely mystical or unattainable. Leave nothingness to the voidist philosophers. We can always do something. We can always open one of Prabhupada’s books. Even on the days we feel empty; even if we open the book and still feel blank. When that happens, we have no choice but to get over the slump. That much is in our power. We have to take hold of ourself and say, “Prabhupada is here in this book. Why do I think I can’t get anything out of it?” At least I can go to the stone wall of my heart and cry out, “Prabhupada, please help me. What have I done that now your mercy seems to be withheld from me?” Prabhupada will answer. Approaching Prabhupada in deeper and deeper ways requires deeper and deeper prayer and service, an intensification of the whole consciousness. Then Prabhupada will reciprocate. But the question is always there, “Do you really want to be with him?” <\/p>\n

If you want to be with him, you will have to examine the things that keep you away from him. Prabhupada is not keeping away from us; we may be pushing him away due to lack of clarity in our desire. Once we get some of the direct power of Prabhupada’s association, then all our negative thought patterns fall into place. We understand that they are like scratches that will continue to bother us until we are liberated. They are not important; rather, they are bothersome. In no way do they stop us from our main activity of loving Prabhupada wholeheartedly.<\/p>\n

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December 23, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Swamiji\u2019s Core Principle: Always Think of Krishna <\/p>\n

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Remember that Krishna is in control. That’s why things don’t happen as man proposes\u2014because God disposes. That’s the essence of Krishna consciousness. Smartavyah satatam visnur, vismartavyo na jatucit<\/i>: just remember Krishna. All other rules and regulations serve that one. <\/p>\n

One time in the storefront I heard Swamiji talking about this and explaining his preaching in America. He was saying that he is just trying to attract people to Krishna. He wanted them to chant Hare Krishna and to engage in other acceptable activities. He said that in India there are devotees or transcendentalists who follow so many rules and regulations, but he didn\u2019t introduce that here. He said, \u201cI’ve introduced only one percent. Somebody says of me in America, \u2018Oh, Swamiji is so conservative. He has so many rules. You can’t do this, you can’t do that.\u2019 But I have only introduced one percent. I am not so interested in rules and regulations, but I am trying to follow Rupa Gosvami’s policy: yena tena prakarena manah krsne nivesayet sarva vidhi-nisedhasyur etayor eva kinkarah<\/i>. Just somehow attract people to Krishna so they can think of Krishna. Rules and regulations can come later.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cAlways remember Krishna\u201d is the grand principle of Krishna consciousness\u2014to see that everything is controlled by Krishna. Samadhi<\/i> is not in a person’s control. Samadhi<\/i> is a sign that Krishna is controlling the devotee. Therefore the principle always remember Krishna<\/i> is both for the beginner and the accomplished devotee. Just somehow do something Krishna conscious. Don’t bother about the rules and what you are not able to do right now. Just chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. Anyone can start with that. That’s the first step, and it is also the goal. It\u2019s the core principle that Swamiji drilled into us. It’s what’s so wonderful about Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

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December 24, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Prabhupada Taught Us ABCD <\/p>\n

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In his classes at 26 Second Avenue Swamiji constantly referred to the Bhagavad-gita<\/i> as \u201cABCD\u201d\u2014the beginning principles of spiritual life. \u201cSrimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>,\u201d he would say, \u201cis a more advanced subject.\u201d And as his fledgling ISKCON Society expanded around the globe, Prabhupada would repeatedly stress the vital importance at the heart of the Gita\u2019s<\/i> ABCD: We are not the body<\/i>. Srila Prabhupada\u2019s expertise was in removing us from the bodily platform by a full program of activities in Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

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We are not the mind either. The mind seems to be more a friend of the body when it\u2019s under the sway of the senses. The body sends frantic messages to the mind and intelligence, \u201cWoof! Woof! Please take care of me with all your intelligence and all your devotion. Please give me something to drink. Give me something to eat. I crave. I hurt. I feel pleasure.\u201d Like a child. Kids disturb us with their unabashed, frank attachment to their immediate feelings. Any little inconvenience or restriction can cause their uncontrolled minds and senses to leap into action.<\/p>\n

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The ABCD first step in spiritual life was to seriously approach a spiritual master who would teach us to control the body and the mind and to uncover the soul. With his kindergarten ABCD approach, Prabhupada rescued us from our childlike state of bodily consciousness and reawakened our natural awareness of Krishna.<\/p>\n

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December 25, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

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Prabhupada: The Cutting Edge<\/p>\n

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We didn’t know anything until we met Srila Prabhupada! We had an inkling that what passed as civilized was mostly bunk. We saw the establishment\u2014the government and the military-industrial complex and the mass of people out for money and sense gratification as phony, “square.” We learned how to alter our consciousness via marijuana and LSD. We tried to free the language with Beat poetry and jazz. We were prepared to reject our parents’ civilization and carve out our own \u201csuperior\u201d civilization. Unfortunately, we were carving out yet another form of animalism. <\/p>\n

However, as we became submissive to the teachings of the Swami and the parampara<\/i>, we began to realize that the animalistic approach was not what the devotee was aiming for. By exposing the flaws in our so-called logic, Swamiji convinced us of the positive advantages of Krishna consciousness. He taught us to desire to be molded by the spiritual master and civilized by the sastras<\/i>. Nobility is gained by following Krishna conscious rules and regulations, not by endeavoring to be civilized in the way two-legged animals are civilized with their white cuffs and gold cufflinks, their artificial tan and their before-dinner cocktails. Civilization to a devotee means Bhagavatam<\/i> culture; sense control. <\/p>\n

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Prabhupada mercifully taught us to want his kind of culture. By setting up shop in the storefront Swamiji was giving us real spiritual culture, real civilization. He taught us to chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare \/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. He wasn’t dependent on furnishings or externals. There was no prerequisite to receiving his teachings. He sat on a straw mat and, without the advantage of a shared culture, delivered pure Krishna consciousness. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Someone might argue, “Anyone could have done what Prabhupada did. After all, Krishna consciousness is universal.” But no, it remains a puzzle as to why Westerners brought up in a materialistic, secular, Judeo-Christian world would accept Krishna as God and take up \u201cIndian\u201d ways. That it has been planted in Western culture at all is because of Prabhupada’s insistence that Krishna consciousness is not sectarian. Krishna consciousness is for everyone. Pre-Prabhupada, the hope that Krishna consciousness could be taken up by people outside India seemed to have been something that would remain unrealized, esoteric. Prabhupada changed all that. Prabhupada was empowered. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada was determined. Somehow or other<\/i>, he would introduce Krishna and give these people Krishna consciousness. It was bound to work because Krishna consciousness is not sectarian. It is not an artificial imposition on the mind. It is the original consciousness of the living entity. Just chant and this sound vibration will open the heart. Prabhupada’s daring and conviction still holds the Krishna consciousness movement together today. His teachings are cutting edge.<\/p>\n

December 26, 2016 <\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Swamiji Gave Our Lives Value <\/p>\n

The perfect guru in the person of Srila Prabhupada came to us, the sastras<\/i> came to us, the Lord came to us. They told us what we should value above all else. They didn’t leave us groping in absurdity. They gave us the nectar of immortality. What has value compared to that? What can possibly measure up to the supreme value of serving the all-attractive Supreme Personality of Godhead? <\/p>\n

In the beginning Prabhupada asked us to chant\u2014just try it. When he said that he was asking us to have faith, and based on that faith, assign some value to the chanting. He wanted us to give ourselves to the chanting long enough for the chanting to justify the faith. Swamiji showed us we were not living in an absurd universe where we had to give everything to Krishna and He gave nothing in return. If we gave to Krishna, Krishna would reciprocate with us. Ye yatha mam prapadyante<\/i>. As a matter of fact, even if we didn’t give to Krishna, Krishna was giving to us. Prabhupada gave us the most valuable of gifts: knowledge that if you want to have access to the nectar of immortality, to spiritual upliftment, to life behind the body and relief from the daily doldrums, you have to pay the price.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

<\/a>It’s interesting how Swamiji induced us\u2014we who were born in the Western, materialistic camp\u2014to accept Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>. The story is relived every time a Western-born man or woman comes to Krishna consciousness. Somebody rotating through rock ‘n’ roll consciousness, or free-love consciousness, or nihilistic consciousness, stumbles into the storefront and onto Krishna\u2019s pastimes revealed by the pure devotee. He stops to listen for awhile. “What the heck is this? Are they stories?” Maybe he’ll begin to wonder… <\/p>\n

Prabhupada was able to prove that we should accept everything from authority, from hearing. Prabhupada\u2019s deliverance of the Bhagavatam<\/i> dispelled the vagueness people attach to God and presented Him as He is. Prabhupada came to deliver us. Only he, a maha-bhagavata<\/i> Vaikuntha man, set up shop in a storefront on the Lower East Side. We have only Prabhupada to thank as our savior. <\/p>\n

December 27, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Exposed by the Swami <\/p>\n

In the 1950s, Srila Prabhupada described the hard-core materialist\u2019s self-absorption in his Message of Godhead: <\/p>\n

\u201cAt present we are concerned primarily with two things: one, ourselves, and the other, the place where we live. We are concerned with these two objects, everything that is related to our gross and subtle bodies and the world at large with all its paraphernalia. But there are others above us, the transcendentalists, who are concerned not only with their bodies and minds and the world at large, but also with the transcendental subject, which is above the mind and body and the world at large.\u201d (Message of Godhead<\/i>, Introduction, p. 1)<\/p>\n

While Vaisnava philosophy is equally applicable all over the universe, it seemed as if Prabhupada was specifically addressing the material mentalities of his first Western followers who would follow a decade later. We \u201960s people were so anti-establishment (thus against the political world at large with all its paraphernalia). Out of ignorance we surrendered completely to the atheistic view of the scientists. As products of the intellectual counterculture, we accepted Freud, Darwin, and Marx. Atheism was our religion. Out of false pride, we would never yield to the concept of a descending process. <\/p>\n

So it is strange that we \u201cenlightened\u201d free-thinkers who thought of ourselves as sensitive barometers of truth, who had our own code of truthfulness and didn’t appreciate anyone foisting anything upon us (especially if we perceived the foister as being phony or cheating or ego-tripping), embraced the parampara<\/i> message as presented by Srila Prabhupada. We became sold on Prabhupada\u2019s version of the truth and never looked back. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

There are people\u2014and this is one of the most important proofs of God’s existence\u2014who are not concerned just with the self and the world at large, but with the Absolute Truth. The transcendentalists\u2014saints, philosophers, reformers, messengers of God\u2014appear in various places of the world at various times and render transcendental service to the Absolute Truth and to humans by preaching the message of the transcendental world. This is getting in touch with Krishna. We have a right and a need to do that, even if it’s awkward at times.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 28, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Uncompromising <\/p>\n

Prabhupada’s uncompromising nature is much of what attracted us to him. It’s not that everyone who came to spiritual life was a perfect connoisseur of spiritual topics or such a penetrating truth-seeker that he couldn’t be cheated. But Prabhupada made us feel safe. Prabhupada himself said that many of us came to him out of sentimentality. Of course that was still good, but if we didn’t become serious, we would fall away. His uncompromising nature helped us to become serious and to get past whatever sentimental reasons made us seek him out in the first place. <\/p>\n

Then Prabhupada said that to practice spiritual life you have to rise above the modes, especially the modes of ignorance and passion. Again, he was uncompromising. He said we wouldn’t be able to talk about spiritual life until we rose above those two modes. How can one practice spiritual life and at the same time cultivate lust and greed? Therefore he told his students from the beginning that we had to give up illicit sex, intoxication, meat-eating and gambling. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada wanted to communicate with his sincere followers as humanely as possible, yet he was uncompromising. He didn’t care whether people’s superficial interests were satisfied or not. He spoke the truth; what was good for people and would actually delight them in their constitutional nature. And he wasn’t bored with his own presentation. He was always enthusiastic in his preaching. You can hear it in the early tapes. Prabhupada would be speaking enthusiastically and philosophically and then suddenly pause as if seeing the blank faces of his audience. “Oh, of course, this is a very dry subject. People will think we are talking about God and it is so much philosophy.” Then he would chuckle, realizing that for a New York crowd to gather and not hear music or something more immediate, sensational, controversial or attractive to the lower modes of nature, was unusual. He couldn’t expect to be too popular. He chuckled and he realized it, but he went forward anyway with his kirtana<\/i> and his preaching. He did it because that’s what Krishna wanted. He wasn’t interested in pleasing the crowd. He wrote in one letter: “The kirtana<\/i> is not to please a crowd. The lecture is for Krishna and for some sincere persons. No matter if nobody comes, you speak to the walls. We are Krishna dasa; we are Guru dasa.” <\/p>\n

Krishna conscious purification is deep. Prabhupada recognized that those who were coming for some superficial titillation would find the topics dry. Therefore, few are interested. He knew that hearing only the outer form of Krishna consciousness is difficult\u2014it sounds too much like theological talk. People are more accustomed to listening to things that attract their material senses\u2014nice music, a speaker with good intonation, etc.\u2014and they don’t get that gratification when the speech is full of foreign words, talk of sin and God consciousness and morality. When a devotee starts to describe the misery of material life and how we are all entangled in it, it can seem remote. They fly away.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 29, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Revealer of Our Spiritual Identity<\/p>\n

Very early in my relationship with Srila Prabhupada, before I was initiated, I asked him a question. \u201cSwamiji, it seems to me that I can be many different persons. When I think of who I am, I think of a composite of different persons. The moods are like different persons I can be. I have heard that the best thing is to act to please Krishna. My question is: how do I know which person in me, or what kind of person, Krishna wants me to be?\u201d <\/p>\n

Swamiji didn’t speak to the \u201cmentalness\u201d in my question, but he turned to some of the other people in the room and said, “This boy Steve is nice. He gives his money and he does typing. You also should do like this.” I wasn’t the least bit disappointed with his response. After all, what was I seeking but love, encouragement, and exchange? He looked at me as I actually was in his eyes, who he wanted me to be\u2014a simple servitor who gives plainly and practically what he has. He did not see me as somebody so mental as to be ineffectual, so self-conscious as to not be able to serve. <\/p>\n

This reminds me of something else. There’s a line in a poem by Allen Ginsberg that refers to Bhaktivedanta Swami. Imagine Prabhupada seeing Allen in New York and Allen writing candidly about it afterward. \u201cSwami Bhaktivedanta looks at me with a sad eye, at my impossible self-consciousness.\u201d Allen was aware that Prabhupada saw his lack of surrender. Allen could not become a devotee of Krishna. Prabhupada was sad about it, compassionate. He saw that Allen was too much into himself and his own concoctions to surrender to Krishna. Poets like Allen are too busy writing their own “song of God” to hear the message of Bhagavad-gita<\/i>. They don’t have faith. They don’t accept Krishna’s representative. As Allen summed it up, it was due to his self-consciousness. He could never get past his false-ego consciousness. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada looked at me differently. He saw a soul in the body of a young man twenty-six years old who lived in New York City. He saw my many impurities, but he also saw that by my actions I had some sincerity. He acknowledged that sincerity when he answered my question. <\/p>\n

I know that I should say that question has been answered for all time, but it hasn’t. And Swamiji is not here in the same way to blast through a question like that\u2014a question I’m crying out to have answered. After all, I wasn’t asking that question so Prabhupada would flatter me. I was crying out. I was trapped in my various selves as I resorted to different kinds of selves and behaviors in order to get along in the world. Prabhupada cut through that for me then. That’s the benefit of having a guru right there. You put yourself on the line and he cracks or cuts the knot in your heart. He doesn\u2019t just work on the generic knot shared by all living entities, but he very directly and personally works on your attachments and confusion. Now that Prabhupada has disappeared, I feel the difference. <\/p>\n

When I think of that question, I think also of a popular song. I don’t remember the words exactly, but it’s something like this: “I can be good, I can be bad, I can be happy, I can be sad, it all depends on you. I can be any one of these things and not be particularly happy or sad, except relative to what you want …\u201d So, it is like that. I will do what pleases you, Srila Prabhupada. As you act toward me, I respond toward you. I have no self per se<\/i>, except for my relationship with you. I have no self except as you define it in our loving, living relationship; our demanding relationship. Krishna consciousness means I am the eternal servant of you. \u201cWhat do you want me to do?\u201d If we can sincerely ask that question, then Krishna will tell us what He wants us to do.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 30, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s Just Love Him <\/p>\n

Right from the beginning of his preaching in the West, Srila Prabhupada offered the world a brilliant summary of the methods of bhakti-yoga<\/i>, revealing the universal applicability of this simple but all-inclusive form of yoga. He showed how even those who are entangled in the complexity and chaos of modern materialistic life could begin an uncomplicated practice which purifies the mind and puts one in touch with the Supreme consciousness. <\/p>\n

This, perhaps, was Srila Prabhupada’s greatest contribution to our age. Srila Prabhupada was an acknowledged master scholar of India’s ancient spiritual culture and of its linguistic foundation, the Sanskrit language. But he was not merely a textual scholar or a philosopher or theologian engaged in the manufacture of interesting philosophical or theological notions. He was a true spiritual genius who succeeded in bringing to life the efforts of India’s universal spiritual wisdom in a form which is easy for twenty-first century man to understand and practice. <\/p>\n

The transforming quality of Prabhupada was that he could make people devotees of Krishna. He himself used to say, “So many editions of Bhagavad-gita<\/i> have been translated into English, but as a result, not one person has become a devotee of Krishna. Now that we have presented it as it is, so many people are taking to Krishna consciousness.” <\/p>\n

Even the fact that so many schisms and splinter movements of ISKCON flourish to some degree is a credit to Prabhupada. They are flourishing on the strength of his having made something apparently foreign available to Westerners. <\/p>\n

For myself, I like to think of Prabhupada in a simple way, as he first manifested to us\u2014as Swamiji at 26 Second Avenue. I don’t feel the need to prove to myself that he was great. I just want to love him as the Vrajavasis love Krishna. The Vrajavasis don’t have to prove that Krishna is God or that nobody else but Krishna is God. They just love Him and want to be with Him forever. If Krishna leaves them even for a moment, they simply think of Him and cry. <\/p>\n

That’s one way to think, but we also need the Ramanujas and Madhvas and their learned followers to prove Prabhupada’s exalted position to the world. And who’s to tell us exactly how to develop our own relationship with Prabhupada? Of course we have to approach him in the standard way through inquiry and service, but there’s also room for different attitudes, even within ourselves. Sometimes I like to take up that role where I prove Prabhupada’s uniqueness. Other times, like during this 50th ISKCON year when we are expected to beat a particular drum of his glories, for example, I think, “What are we trying to prove? Let’s just love him and accept him as our guide.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

December 31, 2016<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Where Would We Be Without Swamiji? <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Srila Prabhupada, the empowered bhakti<\/i> whirlwind who completely changed the lives of those he touched at 26 Second Avenue, molded himself as a preacher in Jhansi, Uttar Pradesh several years before coming to the West. The people of Jhansi didn’t see him as a familyman or businessman, but as a preacher. I like to think of Prabhupada at Dr. Sastri’s clinic where he would sometimes sit and talk with the patients, occasionally recommending medicines, but mostly preaching. He sat with Mr. Ramcharan Mitra, the shopkeeper-poet, at his utensils shop and read Caitanya-caritamrta<\/i> to a group gathered there. And he gave lectures, sometimes several a day at various temples, the Theosophical Society, and in people’s homes. <\/p>\n

Prabhupada was an experienced preacher. He had no illusions about the people of Jhansi and how far they were prepared to be influenced by him. He saw their shallow devotion and their tendency toward sentimentality. They had invited him to lecture, but they weren’t prepared to facilitate a League of Devotees. Prabhupada said to Mr. Mitra, “The whole world is waiting, Mr. Mitra, for our spiritual revolution.”<\/i> His ambition was to make the whole city of Jhansi alive with Krishna consciousness. And from Jhansi, he could reach out with a worldwide movement. <\/p>\n

We don’t have to do what Prabhupada did and start a worldwide society of devotees; we already have ISKCON. But it’s worth noting: We can do what we are doing in ISKCON because our Founder-Acarya left his family and business and went alone to Jhansi. Because he tried to spread Krishna consciousness despite the discouragement of others, and because he persisted, we can now call ourselves devotees. We can claim to be part of that sankirtana<\/i> spirit that moved Srila Prabhupada to pick us up in the first place, that same spirit that was operating in him even in those early days in Jhansi. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Supposing we hadn\u2019t met him? What would have happened to us? Would we have died prematurely or gone crazy from a drug overdose? At the very least, our lives would have been totally useless. It\u2019s worth considering: If Prabhupada had not come, where would I be today?<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

EPILOGUE<\/b><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Epilogue to Daily Reflections on Srila Prabhupada <\/i> <\/p>\n

(Celebrating the 50<\/i>th<\/i><\/sup> Anniversary of Prabhupada\u2019s Coming to America)<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

During the summer of 1966, after Swamiji had initiated them and married them, Mukunda and Janaki made plans to travel to California and from there to go on to India to further pursue their spiritual paths. Swamiji gave his permission. Mukunda made a farewell visit to Swamiji in his room. Swamiji gave Mukunda some contacts in India. As Mukunda was leaving the Swamiji\u2019s room, Swamiji said to him, \u201cIf you can open a centre in San Francisco that would be very nice.\u201d Mukunda was surprised, confused, and didn\u2019t know whether to take this afterthought remark seriously. He decided to go ahead with his plans to travel to India. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

When they arrived in California they met their friends, Sam and Melanie (later initiated as Syamasundara and Malati devi dasi). Mukunda and Janaki told their friends all about the Swami and the activities at 26 Second Avenue. Sam and Melanie became very enthusiastic. Mukunda told Sam about Swamiji\u2019s suggestion that he open a centre in San Francisco. Sam became enthusiastic to hear this and suggested that Mukunda change his plans and do what Prabhupada suggested. One day Mukunda spent the time alone in a rowboat. He was contemplating his future. He thought deeply. At the end of the day, he decided to take Prabhupada\u2019s request and stay in California and try to open an ISKCON centre. Then he and Sam set about doing it. <\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Sometimes, during the evening gathering in his room, Swamiji would ask whether Mukunda was ready on the West Coast. For months, Prabhupada\u2019s going to the West Coast had been one of a number of alternatives. But then, during the first week of the New Year, a letter arrived from Mukunda: he had rented a storefront in the heart of the Haight-Ashbury district, on Frederick Street. \u201cWe are busy converting it into a temple now,\u201d he wrote. And Prabhupada announced: \u201cI shall go immediately.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Mukunda had told of a \u201cGathering of the Tribes\u201d in San Francisco\u2019s Haight-Ashbury. Thousands of hippies were migrating from all over the country to the very neighbourhood where Mukunda had rented the storefront. It was a youth renaissance much bigger than what was going on in New York City. In a scheme to raise funds for the new temple, Mukunda was planning a \u201cMantra Rock Dance\u201d and famous rock bands were going to appear. And Swami Bhaktivedanta and the chanting of Hare Krishna were to be the center of attraction!<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Although in his letter Mukunda had enclosed a plane ticket, some of Swamiji\u2019s followers refused to accept that Swamiji would use it. Those who knew they could not leave New York began to criticize the idea of Swamiji\u2019s going to San Francisco. They didn\u2019t think that people out on the West Coast could take care of Swamiji properly. Swamiji appearing with rock musicians? Those people out there didn\u2019t seem to have the proper respect. Anyway, there was no suitable temple there. There was no printing press, no Back to Godhead<\/i> magazine. Why should Swamiji leave New York to attend a function like that<\/i> with strangers in California? How could he leave them behind in New York? How could their spiritual life continue without him? Timidly, one or two dissenters indirectly expressed some of these feelings to Prabhupada, as if almost wishing to admonish him for thinking of leaving them, and even hinting that things would not go well, either in San Francisco or New York, if he departed. But they found Prabhupada quite confident and determined. He did not belong to New York, he belonged to Krishna, and he had to go wherever Krishna desired him to preach. Prabhupada showed a spirit of complete detachment, eager to travel and expand the chanting of Hare Krishna.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Brahmanda: But we were shocked that he was going to leave. I never thought that Krishna consciousness would go beyond the Lower East Side, what to speak of New York City. I thought that this was it, and it would stay here eternally.<\/i><\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

In the last days of the second week of January, final plane reservations were made, and the devotees began packing Swamiji\u2019s manuscripts away in trunks. Ranchor, a new devotee recruited from Tompkins Square Park, had collected enough money for a plane ticket, and the devotees decided that he should accompany Prabhupada as his personal assistant. Prabhupada explained that he would only be gone a few weeks and that he wanted all the programs to go on in his absence.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He waited in his room while the boys arranged for a car to take him to the airport. The day was gray and cold, and steam hissed in the radiators. He would take only a suitcase\u2014mostly clothes and some books. He checked the closet to see that his manuscripts were in order. Kirtanananda would take care of his things in his apartment. He sat down at his desk where, for more than six months he had sat so many times working for hours at the typewriter preparing his Bhagavad-gita<\/i> and Srimad-Bhagavatam<\/i>, and where he had sat talking to so many guests and to his followers. But today he would not be talking with friends or typing a manuscript, but waiting a last few minutes alone before his departure.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

This was a nice place, 26 Second Avenue. He had started here. The boys would keep it up. Some of them were donating their salaries. It was a start.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

Prabhupada looked at his watch. He put on his tweed winter coat and his hat and shoes, put his right hand in his bead bag and continued chanting. He walked out of the apartment, down the stairs and through the courtyard, which was now frozen and still, its trees starkly bare without a single leaf remaining. And he left the storefront behind.<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>\n

He left, even while Brahmananda, Rupanuga and Satsvarupa were at their office jobs. There was not even a farewell scene or a farewell address.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Satsvarupa dasa Goswami<\/strong><\/p>\n

The East Coast was hit by severe blizzards, seven inches of snow fell on the City, with winds up to fifty miles an hour. The City of New York offered warm rooms and meals for people living in tenements without heat. JFK Airport was closed, as were train lines and roadways into the City. For the second time within eight days, a state of emergency was declared because of snow. As a lone individual, Srila Prabhupada could not do anything about the snow emergency, or the international warfare \u2013 he saw these as more symptoms of the age of Kali. Always there would be misery in the material world. But if he could bring Radha and Krishna to a building in New York … nothing was impossible for the Supreme Lord. Even in the midst of Kali-yuga, a golden age could appear, and people could get relief. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20490"}],"version-history":[{"count":118,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20490\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32139,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20490\/revisions\/32139"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}