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Bonds of Love \u201cLoving Krishna will help you love your son\u201d
\nFrom the time she was 4, Urmila (Dr. Edith Best) was looking for God. If somebody said, \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u201d she\u2019d say, \u201cI want to be spiritually perfect. I want to find God.\u201d They\u2019d say, \u201cDon\u2019t you want to get married, have kids, have a career?\u201d She\u2019d say, \u201cI just want to find God.\u201d
\nUrmila Devi Dasi: My first contact with Prabhupada was in \u201967 when I was 12 years old. I would regularly listen to him chanting on the Happening album playing in Alan Kallman\u2019s shop on the Lower East Side. I\u2019d ask, \u201cWhat is this record? Who is this?\u201d My next contact was through the Radha Krishna Temple Album, which I heard on the radio. Prabhupada\u2019s picture was on the album and my initial response to it was skeptical. I thought someone who takes the role of guru might think he\u2019s better than others.
\nWhen I was 17, I got Prabhupada\u2019s translation of Bhagavad-gita. After reading it, I decided to move into the temple, but at first I didn\u2019t want to get initiated. Soon after I moved in I got married; my husband was already second initiated, and in his association I started thinking, \u201cHow am I going to be able to find God and become spiritually perfect without a spiritual master?\u201d Gradually my relationship with Prabhupada developed and I became his initiated disciple, after he accepted me through the mail.
\nWhen I first met Prabhupada in Chicago in the summer of \u201974, a little more than a year after I\u2019d moved in. I was expecting a mystical experience. Prabhupada was sitting on the vyasasana giving class and I was fanning him. I was standing very close, to his left, moving the peacock fan, absorbed in every word and gesture. My experience was, indeed, mystical, but not in the way I expected. I felt, \u201cPrabhupada has always been here, because playing a recording of Prabhupada lecturing and listening to him lecture in person is exactly the same.\u201d I was hearing him directly but I felt the same as when I was listening to a recording. It was satisfying and amazing \u2013 I realized that I could associate with Prabhupada even in his physical absence with potency equal to his presence. Still, I felt incomplete in the experience.
\nLater that morning, my father, husband, and I met Srila Prabhupada in his room and I got to know him as a person \u2013 he was funny, laughing, casual, jovial, and exchanging affectionately with my father. I understood he cared about me, as an individual, and I felt a loving relationship with him. At that point there was full satisfaction.
\nMy father asked why we give people prasada, and Prabhupada said, \u201cJust like if you eat the food of a sick person, you will get their disease. If you eat Krishna\u2019s food, you will get Krishna\u2019s disease.\u201d
\nMy father thought he was only supposed to come to the temple if he was a devotee, so he asked, \u201cCan I come to the temple just to see my daughter and son-in-law?\u201d
\nSmiling, Prabhupada said, \u201cThey are loving Krishna. Chanting and dancing are symptoms of loving Krishna. You are loving them and they are loving Krishna, so two things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.\u201d
\nPrabhupada\u2019s mood was light, but I thought, \u201cPrabhupada said I love Krishna, so it\u2019s just a matter of time. Someday I\u2019ll love Krishna.\u201d That meeting changed my life. And it moved my father. He said, \u201cPrabhupada\u2019s a genuine holy man.\u201d He enjoyed Prabhupada\u2019s company and became somewhat of a devotee.
\nLess than a year later, my baby son Madhava and I were with a group of devotees seeing Srila Prabhupada off at a New York airport. Prabhupada was sitting on a couch in the VIP lounge talking with Satyabhama, Kirtanananda, Jayadvaita, and a few others. I was a couple of feet away, holding Madhava. I felt left out of those devotees\u2019 intimate connection with Prabhupada. I thought, \u201cThey really know Prabhupada well,\u201d but it was also a relaxed time for me, getting to be with Prabhupada in a personal way again. During the kirtana, Prabhupada transported everyone to the spiritual world; I forgot that I had a body and that I was in New York. Prabhupada was meditating on chanting and I thought, \u201cPrabhupada is chanting for his guru just as we are chanting for him.\u201d It was incredible. Then at some point in the kirtana my external awareness flooded back: I was again in New York holding a baby.
\nFor a year and a half after Madhava was born, I dove into Srila Prabhupada\u2019s books and lectures. I read 4\u20136 hours a day, and listened 3\u20134 hours a day. Doing that deepened my relationship with him as much or more than when I personally saw him. During that period, in the summer of \u201975, I went to Philadelphia for Ratha-yatra and to get Gayatri mantra. At class that morning, the devotee reading from the Bhagavatam manuscript said, \u201c[Ajamila] called the name of his son very loudly three times, \u2018Narayana, Narayana, Narayana!\u2019 \u201c
\nPrabhupada responded, \u201cWho said in the manuscript? There is no three times. Not \u201cNarayana\u201d three times. One time, \u2018O Narayana,\u2019 that\u2019s all. So did I say \u2018three time\u2019? Hmm? No, it is not said here. You should correct it. Once, \u2018He, O Narayana,\u2019 that\u2019s all. There is no reason for calling three times. There is no mention here. Once is sufficient. [laughter] Hmm.\u201d
\n(lecture Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.1.28\u201329, July 13, 1975, Philadelphia)
\nIt was life-transforming for me to hear him say that calling out Krishna\u2019s name just once in helplessness is enough.
\nLater that morning my father, husband, and I met with Prabhupada again. When he saw us Prabhupada\u2019s whole face lit up as if we were his favorite people in the world. Like he was meeting a dear old friend he said to my father, \u201cHow are you now?\u201d My father responded with similar exuberance and joy. As we were leaving Prabhupada said, \u201cGood father, good daughter.\u201d Prabhupada saw something good and worthwhile in me; he was pleased with me.
\nWhen I got Gayatri mantra my husband was carrying Madhava, and Prabhupada\u2019s attention went to the baby. Prabhupada said, \u201cHe\u2019s laughing. He\u2019s very intelligent and fortunate.\u201d
\nPrabhupada had me repeat the mantra, and I thought, \u201cI don\u2019t want to say it perfectly because Prabhupada will think I\u2019m puffed up.\u201d To try to be humble I purposely made a mistake when I repeated the last line. Prabhupada looked disgusted. I thought, \u201cOops, that wasn\u2019t the right thing to do.\u201d I said, \u201cPrabhupada, I want to preach and please you, but I have this little baby. It\u2019s hard to go out on book distribution.\u201d
\nHe said, \u201cYou must take care (of the child) so you may not go out.\u201d The feeling I got from Prabhupada was, \u201cThis is really a stupid question.\u201d
\nThe next time I saw Prabhupada was in the summer of \u201976 when he came to New York for the Ratha-yatra. Again my father met with him. At one point Prabhupada pointed to me, with my eighteen-month-old son on my lap. He said, \u201cJust like this mother is loving her son without any expectation of return, in that way you should love Krishna.\u201d
\nMy father said, \u201cWill loving her son help her love Krishna?\u201d
\nPrabhupada said, \u201cNo, but loving Krishna will help her love her son.\u201d I understood that if we have Krishna as the center and are attached to Him, then we can love everyone else. If we love people on a mundane level, it doesn\u2019t help us love Krishna \u2013 it takes away from that love.
\nSomehow what Prabhupada said when I was with him was just what I needed to hear. His words changed me in deep and lasting ways.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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Bonds of Love “Loving Krishna will help you love your son”
\nFrom the time she was 4, Urmila (Dr. Edith Best) was looking for God. If somebody said, “What do you want to do?” she’d say, “I want to be spiritually perfect. I want to find God.” They’d say, “Don’t you want to get married, have kids, have a career?” She’d say, “I just want to find God.”
\nUrmila Devi Dasi: My first contact with Prabhupada was in ’67 when I was 12 years old. I would regularly listen to him chanting on the Happening album playing in Alan Kallman’s shop on the Lower East Side. I’d ask, “What is this record? Who is this?” My next contact was through the Radha Krishna Temple Album, which I heard on the radio. Prabhupada’s picture was on the album and my initial response to it was skeptical. I thought someone who takes the role of guru might think he’s better than others.
\nWhen I was 17, I got Prabhupada’s translation of Bhagavad-gita. After reading it, I decided to move into the temple, but at first I didn’t want to get initiated. Soon after I moved in I got married; my husband was already second initiated, and in his association I started thinking, “How am I going to be able to find God and become spiritually perfect without a spiritual master?” Gradually my relationship with Prabhupada developed and I became his initiated disciple, after he accepted me through the mail.
\nWhen I first met Prabhupada in Chicago in the summer of ’74, a little more than a year after I’d moved in. I was expecting a mystical experience. Prabhupada was sitting on the vyasasana giving class and I was fanning him. I was standing very close, to his left, moving the peacock fan, absorbed in every word and gesture. My experience was, indeed, mystical, but not in the way I expected. I felt, “Prabhupada has always been here, because playing a recording of Prabhupada lecturing and listening to him lecture in person is exactly the same.” I was hearing him directly but I felt the same as when I was listening to a recording. It was satisfying and amazing – I realized that I could associate with Prabhupada even in his physical absence with potency equal to his presence. Still, I felt incomplete in the experience.
\nLater that morning, my father, husband, and I met Srila Prabhupada in his room and I got to know him as a person – he was funny, laughing, casual, jovial, and exchanging affectionately with my father. I understood he cared about me, as an individual, and I felt a loving relationship with him. At that point there was full satisfaction.
\nMy father asked why we give people prasada, and Prabhupada said, “Just like if you eat the food of a sick person, you will get their disease. If you eat Krishna’s food, you will get Krishna’s disease.”
\nMy father thought he was only supposed to come to the temple if he was a devotee, so he asked, “Can I come to the temple just to see my daughter and son-in-law?”
\nSmiling, Prabhupada said, “They are loving Krishna. Chanting and dancing are symptoms of loving Krishna. You are loving them and they are loving Krishna, so two things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.”
\nPrabhupada’s mood was light, but I thought, “Prabhupada said I love Krishna, so it’s just a matter of time. Someday I’ll love Krishna.” That meeting changed my life. And it moved my father. He said, “Prabhupada’s a genuine holy man.” He enjoyed Prabhupada’s company and became somewhat of a devotee.
\nLess than a year later, my baby son Madhava and I were with a group of devotees seeing Srila Prabhupada off at a New York airport. Prabhupada was sitting on a couch in the VIP lounge talking with Satyabhama, Kirtanananda, Jayadvaita, and a few others. I was a couple of feet away, holding Madhava. I felt left out of those devotees’ intimate connection with Prabhupada. I thought, “They really know Prabhupada well,” but it was also a relaxed time for me, getting to be with Prabhupada in a personal way again. During the kirtana, Prabhupada transported everyone to the spiritual world; I forgot that I had a body and that I was in New York. Prabhupada was meditating on chanting and I thought, “Prabhupada is chanting for his guru just as we are chanting for him.” It was incredible. Then at some point in the kirtana my external awareness flooded back: I was again in New York holding a baby.
\nFor a year and a half after Madhava was born, I dove into Srila Prabhupada’s books and lectures. I read 4–6 hours a day, and listened 3–4 hours a day. Doing that deepened my relationship with him as much or more than when I personally saw him. During that period, in the summer of ’75, I went to Philadelphia for Ratha-yatra and to get Gayatri mantra. At class that morning, the devotee reading from the Bhagavatam manuscript said, “[Ajamila] called the name of his son very loudly three times, ‘Narayana, Narayana, Narayana!’ “
\nPrabhupada responded, “Who said in the manuscript? There is no three times. Not “Narayana” three times. One time, ‘O Narayana,’ that’s all. So did I say ‘three time’? Hmm? No, it is not said here. You should correct it. Once, ‘He, O Narayana,’ that’s all. There is no reason for calling three times. There is no mention here. Once is sufficient. [laughter] Hmm.”
\n(lecture Srimad-Bhagavatam 6.1.28–29, July 13, 1975, Philadelphia)
\nIt was life-transforming for me to hear him say that calling out Krishna’s name just once in helplessness is enough.
\nLater that morning my father, husband, and I met with Prabhupada again. When he saw us Prabhupada’s whole face lit up as if we were his favorite people in the world. Like he was meeting a dear old friend he said to my father, “How are you now?” My father responded with similar exuberance and joy. As we were leaving Prabhupada said, “Good father, good daughter.” Prabhupada saw something good and worthwhile in me; he was pleased with me.
\nWhen I got Gayatri mantra my husband was carrying Madhava, and Prabhupada’s attention went to the baby. Prabhupada said, “He’s laughing. He’s very intelligent and fortunate.”
\nPrabhupada had me repeat the mantra, and I thought, “I don’t want to say it perfectly because Prabhupada will think I’m puffed up.” To try to be humble I purposely made a mistake when I repeated the last line. Prabhupada looked disgusted. I thought, “Oops, that wasn’t the right thing to do.” I said, “Prabhupada, I want to preach and please you, but I have this little baby. It’s hard to go out on book distribution.”
\nHe said, “You must take care (of the child) so you may not go out.” The feeling I got from Prabhupada was, “This is really a stupid question.”
\nThe next time I saw Prabhupada was in the summer of ’76 when he came to New York for the Ratha-yatra. Again my father met with him. At one point Prabhupada pointed to me, with my eighteen-month-old son on my lap. He said, “Just like this mother is loving her son without any expectation of return, in that way you should love Krishna.”
\nMy father said, “Will loving her son help her love Krishna?”
\nPrabhupada said, “No, but loving Krishna will help her love her son.” I understood that if we have Krishna as the center and are attached to Him, then we can love everyone else. If we love people on a mundane level, it doesn’t help us love Krishna – it takes away from that love.
\nSomehow what Prabhupada said when I was with him was just what I needed to hear. His words changed me in deep and lasting ways.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10650,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-recent-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10650"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24670"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24670\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40676,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24670\/revisions\/40676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}