{"id":33369,"date":"2023-02-02T12:54:02","date_gmt":"2023-02-02T11:54:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dandavats.tumblr.com\/post\/153166826646"},"modified":"2023-02-02T12:54:43","modified_gmt":"2023-02-02T11:54:43","slug":"the-death-of-my-father-and-the-most-unprecedented-mercy-of-lord","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/?p=33369","title":{"rendered":"The death of my father and the most unprecedented Mercy of Lord Nityananda"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

The death of my father and the most unprecedented Mercy of Lord Nity\u0101nanda \u2013 my story and realizations.
\nGaur K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a D\u0101s\u012b: In this lifetime, I have never met with death face to face. Finally that opportunity came to me recently, when my father got really ill and weak and finally left his body in our hands. As an aspiring devotee (who is trying to become a devotee of R\u0101dh\u0101-K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a) and after much deliberation upon the recent events, I want to share my story in case of my father\u2019s death with hope to inspire other devotees to consciously try to save their parents and relatives no matter what their current positions is. By the way, it is said in \u015ar\u012bmad Bh\u0101gavatam 4.21.46 that the duty of the son (putra) is to deliver his father from hellish life if he falls into it. <\/p>\n

My now deceased father had heart attack some 3-4 months ago. During the attack, in his critical state when he lost consciousness and we thought he was leaving his body, I chanted around him: \u201cNit\u0101i Nit\u0101i Nit\u0101i\u2026\u201d In the meantime, emergency came, took him to hospital and somehow brought him back to life and consciousness but only to a degree, because after that he sometimes didn\u2019t recognize us and was speaking much nonsense. Moreover, when he returned from hospital, he was unable to even sit on bed, what to speak of getting up or walking. He became completely dependent on others.<\/p>\n

Since my brother worked, my mother is also old and in need of help, all care for father became my duty. I tried to avoid it as much as I could, but finally after much resistance I realized there was no escape; for some reason he was in my hands, and I had to take full care of him and sacrifice a lot of my time ecslusivelly for him. Of course, the bothering thing about him was that he was like a tyrant his whole life: he literally terrorized both me and whole family, and actually everyone he came in contact with! So my father and me never had any relationship at all: he could not normally talk with anyone without getting into bitter quarrel, threatening or any other violent behaviour. Therefore I was constantly afraid of him and his violence so I definitely wanted to avoid any closer interaction with him. However, it looks like Lord Nit\u0101i literally forced me into all this, since there was no desire on my part to participate neither in helping his almost dead body or saving his soul from gliding directly into hell or lower animal species. <\/p>\n

During those 2 months that I had to take care of him, I was forced to serve him in some very humiliating ways. I wondered what kind of good karma or suk\u1e5bti did he have and what kind of bad karma and lack of suk\u1e5bti do I have to have to do all this for a person who was terrorizing me in every way my whole life. But somehow i accepted my current low and humble position and was able to move forward forgetting about his past and myself. I took it as my duty and tried to do it the best I could, even to the point of total exhaustion. <\/p>\n

During those two months, I gave him pras\u0101dam whenever I could, and chanted around him whenever I remembered the Name. It was very hard to remember the Holy Name around a person who was a practical atheist and who was radiating with all negative and contaminatng energy you can imagine. It was reflected in my s\u0101dhana as well: I struggled for my s\u0101dhana like crazy; it was so distracted throughout the day, all was done in a state of great distress from running here and there and being always alert to help his almost dead body and obscured mind in any way possible. Also, the question \u201cWill he contaminate me – or – will I purify him\u201d was also present. It turned out that none of the above was the case but simply the sweet will of the Lord manifested. <\/p>\n

I remember once he was very upset and angry and didn\u2019t want to calm down. I didn\u2019t know what to do and was freaking out. Then I started shouting very loudly in his room: \u201cNity\u0101nanda! Nity\u0101nanda! Nity\u0101nanda!\u201d- many times, so that even neighbours could have heard it very clearly (actually several building blocks, LOL!). After a while both he and my mother became peaceful and gave up their nervousness. Incredible! <\/p>\n

Note: my family is against my \u2018Hare K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a religion\u2019 so I don\u2019t mention the name K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a because they go nuts! But still I have many other Holy Names at my disposition, haha! <\/p>\n

Also while I was escorting him to hospital on different examinations, I was mentally chanting Hare K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a mantra all the time. The last time we were in hospital was on R\u0101dh\u0101\u1e63\u1e6dam\u012b. We spent 7 hours in the hospital that day! I was chanting by him almost all the time. It was 5 days before he left his body. He was very weak and I was on a verge of total exhaustion. <\/p>\n

Also, just to mention it here: few years ago, I gave up all merits that I got from my observing of Ek\u0101da\u015b\u012b – and offered it on my father\u2019s behalf. I was inspired to do this for all members of my family and many others (one by one, of course). I don\u2019t say this to show off, but to inspire other devotees to do the same because it really works! <\/p>\n

So then came the day of his departure. It was Sunday, the auspicious day of appearance of our beloved \u015ar\u012bla Bhaktivinoda \u1e6ch\u0101kura and also an auspicious day of \u015ar\u012b Ananta Caturda\u015b\u012b. Now I want to say that even on his last day, he was cursing and calling us ill names (us-family members). Actually he was a person just like Jag\u0101i & Madai, there was no sin he didn\u2019t commit. Without going into details of his past sins, there are actually 2 reasons why his sins should be known, at least general ones: 1) to point out at the unprecedented mercy of Lord Nity\u0101nanda who erases all sins whatsoever even for a person who never showed any desire or interest for spiritual life and who actually persecuted religious or spiritual people, 2) to show the proof of my sinful past lives because in this life I was forced into association of such a sinful person for such a long time and couldn\u2019t escape this torture. <\/p>\n

So on the day he had to leave his body, he was extremely angry and defiant. Again I had to find a way to calm him down and make him eat something and take his medicines. Later on, I was inspired to offer an incense stick to Lord Gaur\u0101\u1e45ga and was chanting in front of Lord Gaur\u0101\u1e45ga\u2019s picture. I usually chant in front of Nitai-Gaur Nam writing visualisation video: http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=qIBgp1c-4S0<\/a><\/p>\n

So I went into my father\u2019s room with incense stick while silently chanting Tulas\u012b dev\u012b mantras and he inhaled the fragrance through his nose; I could hear how he smelled it even though he was in half-sleep state. Then he opened eyes and saw me there with stick and looked at me. I asked him: \u201cDoes it smell nice?\u201d He said: \u201cYes.\u201d This calmed him down completely. He left his body on our hands in the afternoon that Sunday while he was breathing heavily his last breaths (due to insufficient lungs function and very weak heart). Again I was chanting \u201cNit\u0101i Nit\u0101i Nit\u0101i\u201d\u2026 Just Nit\u0101i! I knew that only Nit\u0101i will have mercy for such a fallen soul and I knew He would certainly save him from his bad destiny in the future. Of course, the privilege of chanting during leaving body often even devotees can\u2019t afford many times, so I wondered why in a world this sinful man has this great privilege?!? <\/p>\n

At his funeral ceremony I chanted \u201cNit\u0101i Nit\u0101i Nit\u0101i\u201d again, and when the procession on the way to the cemetery started, I was inspired to take a candle lamp and walk right behind his corpse in a coffin, thus being at the head of the funeral procession. There were approximately 80 souls in the procession. While we were walking slowly, I chanted (mentally\/silently) \u201cNity\u0101nanda Nity\u0101nanda Nity\u0101nanda\u201d\u2026 I also chanted \u201cGaur\u0101\u1e45ga\u201d and \u201cHare K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a\u201d mantra. At one moment, while chanting \u201cNity\u0101nanda\u201d I felt spiritual ecstacy and wanted to throw away my lamp and umbrella (it was raining slowly) and wanted to loudly chant and dance in ecstacy! Can you imagine?!? O Lord!!! But I sobered up quickly and continued to act ‘normally\u2019 ie. according to time & circumstances. This was the most impressive moment for me. Some other people who were in procession, told me they felt something special in that procession. They thought it was very touching to see me walking first in a procession (as a youngest child of my late father) but they actually felt something else on a subtle level, because this funeral procession turned into a subtle k\u012brtan procession!<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t tell you how endlessly happy I was for everything that Lord Nit\u0101i arranged through my father\u2019s illness and death even against my will and against my desire to do something for his poor soul. To be completely honest, I actually wanted that my father suffer in hell for a while for all disgusting sins he committed in his life. I thought it was just! Just see how cruel and merciless I am! But alas! All this was actually for me! It was me who had to see who Nit\u0101i really is!!! It is me who should become humble, merciful and compassionate like Lord Nit\u0101i when seeing Him being forgiving and merciful to the most sinful souls! <\/p>\n

Now the most interesting part: the same day I informed my Vedic Jyotish \u015b\u0101str\u012b friend, about the day and time of death of my late father. She informed me that he attained mercy of Lord Balar\u0101ma, that all his sins and offenses are pardoned, and that he attained heavenly planets!!!!! She also was surprised with what she saw in his death chart (pu\u1e47ya chakra-chart of merits). I thought she made some mistake in calculations, because it was impossible for a person such as my late father to attain such a reward after living the most abominable sinful life until the day he left his body! She wrote me back and assured me that it is truth. <\/p>\n

Note: Previously while he was still alive, she also advised me to chant around him and serve him till he leaves his body, because for some reason he became dependent on me, so I should use a chance and try to save him somehow. She also advised me to keep on chanting and fasting on Ek\u0101da\u015b\u012b for his further promotion after death.<\/p>\n

But still I couldn\u2019t believe her, so I took time to personally study the basics for interpretation of death chart (pu\u1e47ya chakra). And lo and behold, the pu\u1e47ya chakra of my father looks like a pu\u1e47ya chakra of a pious saint person who is now forced to enjoy results of ‘his\u2019 pious deeds in the heavenly planets!!!!<\/p>\n

Mind-blowing! I still can\u2019t come to my senses and hardly believe all these things. However, before he left his body, I asked Lord Nit\u0101i to show me some sign about the destiny of my father after he departs from this planet. And He did! First through his pu\u1e47ya chakra, then the day after his funeral there was a rainbow at the cemetery. <\/p>\n

In any case, I don\u2019t think this is just an ‘ordinary case\u2019 but very extraordinary. In a way, the justice that is being held by law of karma is broken in his case. How can one be rewarded with life in heaven and take a body of deva with predominant sattva-gu\u1e47a, after he spent his whole life deeply in tamo and rajo-gu\u1e47a until his very last breath? But his anger is shown in his pu\u1e47ya chakra anyway \u2013 his Mars is there in his 12th house which among other things signifies the state of mind (what he\/she was thinkig of) during person\u2019s last breath. If he was not angry, he could have even become liberated because he has some positons for that and the merciful aspect of Jupiter on his 12th house. Jupiter signifies mercy of God and His will\/desire to show mercy to someone. <\/p>\n

Note: I\u2019ve seen many pu\u1e47ya chakras so far, and this ‘merciful glance of God\u2019 or auspicious placement of Jupiter in pu\u1e47ya chakra could not found in many charts of those who were held saints or great benefactors during their life \u2013 and vice versa. :) So through all this I learned to withold any judgemental attitude toward anyone because I have no idea what is actually in another person and what kind of plan K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a has with that person. It is said: if God decides to forgive the most sinful person, who are we to recall his\/her sins after they are pardoned by God? <\/p>\n

So now, my late father must enjoy in heavenly planets for some time and depending on what direction he takes there, he may come back to Earth again. As per myself, I don\u2019t care where in a material world he must incarnate again: if he doesn\u2019t become a devotee of Lord K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a or Vi\u1e63\u1e47u, all is in vain. <\/p>\n

What to say?\u2026 I still can hardly believe what I wrote here as a sort of testimony, but it seems to be true no matter how crazy I sound even to myself because I am a rational person who wants to understand everything and I want proofs for everything before I accept something as a fact. I pray that Lord Nit\u0101i purifies my faith and confidence in Him because He proved His power and mercy many times already and I am still faithless. In this regard, I refuse to take any credit for my father\u2019s auspicius death or to be called ‘putra\u2019 \u2013 the one who saves father from hellish life, because I am unqulified to do that or anything good. Also it must be known that the chart at the time of death is not a reflection of just the last moment; it is being formed through long time, or actually whole life. We know nothing about life of other people or will of God. It was simply the will of the Lord to deliver my father for reasons known only to Him and therefore He used me to accomplish His plan through chanting His Holy Names, taking some pras\u0101dam, inhaling some incense, or offering the results of Ek\u0101da\u015b\u012b on his behalf. All glories to the most merciful Lord Nity\u0101nanda R\u0101ma! Nit\u0101i Gaur Haribol! <\/p>\n

Death is the final exam of our whole life and the final test of our devotion. For example, from this experience I realized how death comes quickly and surprisingly and when death approaches, it is a very confusing moment, you cannot function properly mentally or in any way. In my case, even though I was sober and could clearly see death was approaching my father, because his breathing was decreasing through 1-2 minutes before he actually stopped breathing, but still I couldn\u2019t chant all the time. I chanted, then stopped\u2026 like remembering, forgetting\u2026 My mind was struggling between rememberance and forgetfullness. Plus, as I already mentioned, it is very hard to remember K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a in a non-devotee atmosphere, and vice versa. And interestingly, I can\u2019t recall if I chanted at the very last breath of his, even though I was fully aware that death was there and he was certainly leaving that time. I can\u2019t remember, actually I don\u2019t think I chanted at that particular moment. Maybe that\u2019s because he was not allowed to go to spiritual world just like that – without becoming a conscious and pure devotee of the Lord. But nevertheless, he amassed enough suk\u1e5bti and got enough of purification for attaining better and brighter future; he actually got the most he could get from the mercy of the Lord.<\/p>\n

I was reflecting upon this and remembered some statements from \u015b\u0101stra that from Param\u0101tm\u0101 comes both rememberance and forgetfullness (which means that no mistake can be made by Param\u0101tm\u0101), and that it is actually very hard to remember the Holy Name at your last breath due to many aggravating factors. It is also said that unless one is 100% pure, they won\u2019t remember K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a at that crucial point. In other words, unless we chant all the time, and unless we remember K\u1e5b\u1e63\u1e47a & His Name (one & the same) all the time, it is very hard to remember Him at the moment of death when we suffer in body and when our mind is confused and obscured. Yes, of course, there is no rule for independent causeless Mercy of the Lord and we all count on that anyway, and we SHOULD count on it because if we don\u2019t beg for Mercy, how can it be given to us? Only a humble and sincere soul, aware of his fallen status can beg for the Mercy of the Lord. And this Mercy is readily invoked and given by our dearmost Lord Nity\u0101nanda, the saviour and unconditional purifier of poor souls fallen in this material pool of endless suffering.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

In this lifetime, I have never met with death face to face. Finally that opportunity came to me recently, when my father got really ill and weak and finally left his body in our hands. As an aspiring devotee (who is trying to become a devotee of Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa) and after much deliberation upon the recent events, I want to share my story in case of my father’s death with hope to inspire other devotees to consciously try to save their parents and relatives no matter what their current positions is. By the way, it is said in Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 4.21.46 that the duty of the son (putra) is to deliver his father from hellish life if he falls into it. <\/p>\n

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