{"id":35031,"date":"2017-01-03T09:55:20","date_gmt":"2017-01-03T08:55:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dandavats.tumblr.com\/post\/155337668181"},"modified":"2017-01-26T13:46:07","modified_gmt":"2017-01-26T12:46:07","slug":"the-struggle-to-feel-alive-with-a-passion-to-give-i-must","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/?p=35031","title":{"rendered":"The Struggle To Feel Alive With A Passion To Give. \nI must…"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

The Struggle To Feel Alive With A Passion To Give.
\nI must discover and name my gift\u2014yes, that is a practice, but more.
\nI must also share it now, not just keep talking about it,
\nlike a prisoner in a cage,
\nbecause I will never be completely ready
\nto be who I want and pray to be.
\nI used to be a workshop and training junkie,
\nwanting titles and certifications,
\nbut it was never enough,
\nbecause inside of myself
\nI didn\u2019t feel worthy to teach,
\nfeeling incomplete and insufficient,
\nthinking my sad past story defined me.<\/p>\n

It has taken having to face my imminent death by cancer
\nthat I have been forced to actually live each day as fully as I can\u2014
\nthinking I can, I will, I must, I am living my true purpose
\none moment, hour, day, week, year, and life at a time.<\/p>\n

There is no time like the present, and that is all I have,
\nthat, and my desire to love and serve, to give to make a difference.<\/p>\n

I need to be a teacher of essential truth,
\nnow, from my lifetime of becoming,
\naccepting that I, and we, are always a work in progress,
\nbut we don\u2019t have to wait till perfection to give.<\/p>\n

I have learned that by giving who we are now,
\nwe become more than we could have ever imagined.
\nWe don\u2019t just wake up one day fully formed and realized
\nbut it happens gradually, like the sun rising, or the coming of spring.<\/p>\n

As it is said, the journey of a thousand miles begins
\nwith the first step, so I, and we, have to step forward,
\ninstead of hesitating in fear and doubt and complaining,
\nremaining in the background of what could have been
\nand then dying angry and resentful that we stopped short.<\/p>\n

I, and we, have to make room for our gifts
\nwhich is as simple as giving love and caring
\nat every moment through our natural daily rhythm of being.<\/p>\n

By living through my spiritual practice of prayer, worship,
\nstudying scriptures and the practical knowledge from the wise,
\nI deepen who I am, and joyfully become my gifts and loving service
\nwhich give me life and inspiration, to share who I am.<\/p>\n

As I focus on the Lord of my heart
\nto gain a oneness in spiritual purpose
\nand strength, so I can be, speak, and write
\nmy confidence in my divine packing
\nbelieving in myself and encouraging you
\nto do the same\u2014which is why I share.<\/p>\n

I realize that while I have to be self-reliant while depending on God
\nI also need to help you by giving myself and all I have learned\u2014
\none truth of which, as difficult and foreign as it is to accept:<\/p>\n

The greatest gift we have to give is ourselves\u2014first to God
\nand then to everyone else, to be emissaries of the spiritual Light,
\nfor me the devotional life of bhakti, or loving service to
\nthe divine couple, Radha and Krishna, through their remembrance
\nand fully taking the holy name as my constant companion
\nas given by the kirtana and prema avatar,
\nShri Chaitanya, & his agents, my mentors and companions.
\nKarnamrita Das<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

The Struggle To Feel Alive With A Passion To Give.
\nI must discover and name my gift—yes, that is a practice, but more.
\nI must also share it now, not just keep talking about it,
\nlike a prisoner in a cage,
\nbecause I will never be completely ready
\nto be who I want and pray to be.
\nI used to be a workshop and training junkie,
\nwanting titles and certifications,
\nbut it was never enough,
\nbecause inside of myself
\nI didn’t feel worthy to teach,
\nfeeling incomplete and insufficient,
\nthinking my sad past story defined me.<\/p>\n

It has taken having to face my imminent death by cancer
\nthat I have been forced to actually live each day as fully as I can—
\nthinking I can, I will, I must, I am living my true purpose
\none moment, hour, day, week, year, and life at a time.<\/p>\n

There is no time like the present, and that is all I have,
\nthat, and my desire to love and serve, to give to make a difference.<\/p>\n

I need to be a teacher of essential truth,
\nnow, from my lifetime of becoming,
\naccepting that I, and we, are always a work in progress,
\nbut we don’t have to wait till perfection to give.<\/p>\n

I have learned that by giving who we are now,
\nwe become more than we could have ever imagined.
\nWe don’t just wake up one day fully formed and realized
\nbut it happens gradually, like the sun rising, or the coming of spring.<\/p>\n

As it is said, the journey of a thousand miles begins
\nwith the first step, so I, and we, have to step forward,
\ninstead of hesitating in fear and doubt and complaining,
\nremaining in the background of what could have been
\nand then dying angry and resentful that we stopped short.<\/p>\n

I, and we, have to make room for our gifts
\nwhich is as simple as giving love and caring
\nat every moment through our natural daily rhythm of being.<\/p>\n

By living through my spiritual practice of prayer, worship,
\nstudying scriptures and the practical knowledge from the wise,
\nI deepen who I am, and joyfully become my gifts and loving service
\nwhich give me life and inspiration, to share who I am.<\/p>\n

As I focus on the Lord of my heart
\nto gain a oneness in spiritual purpose
\nand strength, so I can be, speak, and write
\nmy confidence in my divine packing
\nbelieving in myself and encouraging you
\nto do the same—which is why I share.<\/p>\n

I realize that while I have to be self-reliant while depending on God
\nI also need to help you by giving myself and all I have learned—
\none truth of which, as difficult and foreign as it is to accept:<\/p>\n

The greatest gift we have to give is ourselves—first to God
\nand then to everyone else, to be emissaries of the spiritual Light,
\nfor me the devotional life of bhakti, or loving service to
\nthe divine couple, Radha and Krishna, through their remembrance
\nand fully taking the holy name as my constant companion
\nas given by the kirtana and prema avatar,
\nShri Chaitanya, & his agents, my mentors and companions.
\nKarnamrita Das<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10650,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-recent-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/10650"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=35031"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35031\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36001,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35031\/revisions\/36001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=35031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=35031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dandavats.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=35031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}