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By Yogesvara Dasa<\/strong><\/p>\n ON DAYS SET ASIDE FOR SELLING Back to Godhead <\/i>magazine, he packed copies in a cloth sack and boarded the morning train to Delhi. With nowhere to stay in Delhi he had to return to Vrindavan by evening, which gave him only a few hours of daylight. Sales were minimal and he did not always collect enough to cover costs. Some days, he made appointments with wealthy men to request support. A few responded with token donations for his cause. He befriended an Ayurvedic doctor who promised assistance. One day, Bhakti Dayita Madhav Maharaj from the local Gaudiya Math was bicycling by and saw Abhay standing at the gate of the doctor\u2019s large house. <\/p>\n \u201cWhat are you waiting for?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI am waiting to get a five rupee donation,\u201d Abhay called back.<\/p>\n After some hours, Bhakti Dayita Madhav Maharaj again passed by on his bicycle. Abhay was still standing there. \u201cDid you get the five rupees?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo. The gentleman has not yet arrived,\u201d Abhay replied, \u201cbut I will wait.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cLet it go. I will give you five rupees.\u201d<\/p>\n Abhay thought for a moment. \u201cEvery month?\u201d <\/p>\n The senior devotee noted Abhay\u2019s torn and weary clothes. \u201cLet\u2019s make it ten,\u201d he said. <\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n LIVING APART FROM HIS FAMILY freed Abhay to pursue support for his mission and the frequency of his letter writing increased. To a prominent Kanpur industrialist he wrote, \u201cThe leaders of India in the name of secular government have engaged themselves in everything foreign. They have carefully set aside the treasure house of India\u2019s spiritual assets and are imitating the Western material way of life. So my idea of preaching in the foreign countries means that they are rather fed up with material advancement of knowledge. They are seeking the guidance of the Vedanta Sutra<\/i> and Bhagavad Gita in an authentic way. And I am sure India will again go back to spiritual life when the principle is accepted by the Europeans and Americans.\u201d1<\/sup><\/a> <\/p>\n Abhay\u2019s letters demanded much from their readers. What would a businessman in 1950s Calcutta make of such a petition, sent by a stranger, written in awkward English, arguing that Westerners were seeking guidance from ancient Sanskrit scriptures, and concluding that Hindus would revert to their spiritual roots if Westerners did so first? The whole idea was illogical, unreasonable. Then again, so were most revolutionary ideas. <\/p>\n The Kanpur industrialist did not answer.<\/p>\n January 1, 1957, was the twenty-first anniversary of Bhaktisiddhanta\u2019s passing from this world. During the heyday of his mission, printing presses ran day and night in Gaudiya Math centers. Now the presses had been sold and the institution had divided into many smaller efforts to continue Bhaktisiddhanta\u2019s mission\u2014all within India. Was this the end of prophesies and visions of a worldwide movement, of a global future resurrected from the ashes of Kali Yuga? If his guru, a monumental devotee, could not make it happen, who was Abhay to presume to do better? <\/p>\n You sent your servants door to door, Abhay wrote in a memorial poem, and the preaching then was strong. \u201cNow, in your absence,\u201d he wrote, \u201ceverything is darkness.\u201d2<\/sup><\/a><\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n IN THOSE EARLY DAYS, before fame and an international institution, before millions of books and worldwide radio broadcasts of the Hare Krishna mantra, in the days when he was still called Abhay Babu and wore a white dhoti<\/i> and a shopkeeper\u2019s jacket, A.C. Bhaktivedanta was rebuffed and often reviled for his persistence. <\/p>\n \u201cThe history of the West,\u201d he wrote Prime Minister Jawarlal Nehru on August 4, 1958, \u201cbeginning from the time of the Greeks and Romans down to the modern age of atomic war, is a continuous chain of sense-gratifying materialism. The result is that the Westerners were never at peace within 3,000 years of historical records. Therefore, India may not waste her time in imitating the Western way of life. Do you think that horseless carriages or telephones or radio communications or any other such ephemeral facilities of life can bring real prosperity? No, they cannot. It is spiritual knowledge which makes a man really rich, not radio sets and motor cars. If you can spare a little time, I am sure to convince you\u2026\u201d <\/p>\n Nehru did not reply. <\/p>\n If he could not get a reply to a letter sent inside India, how realistic was it to expect a better response in America? Would atheistic foreigners addicted to undignified habits ever accept the Gita\u2019s proposal to restrain their senses and live a life of devotion? Still, Mahaprabhu had predicted that the Holy Names would be sung worldwide, so sensible minds must surely be there in America and elsewhere\u2014but how to reach them? Discussing scriptures and chanting mantras were nothing new for Krishna\u2019s devotees inside India: they had been doing so long before the tea-drinking sahibs<\/i> arrived. America was not India. If he did succeed in going there, was he destined to always be so alone? <\/p>\n In the fall of 1958, contemplating his poverty and isolation, Abhay wrote a poem.<\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n I am sitting alone in Vrindavana-dhama.<\/i><\/p>\n In this mood I am getting many realizations.<\/i><\/p>\n I have my wife, sons, daughters, grandsons, everything,<\/i><\/p>\n But I have no money, so they are a fruitless glory.<\/i><\/p>\n Krishna has shown me the naked form of material nature;<\/i><\/p>\n By His strength it has all become tasteless to me today.<\/i><\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n He had no idea what lay ahead, only that the past could no longer hold him and that some fundamental rip had occurred in the fabric of his life. His parents had died, his marriage had devolved into domestic nausea and his commercial efforts had amounted to nil. He recalled the verse in Srimad<\/i> Bhagavatam<\/i> where Krishna described His strategy for the faithful, for those whom He would draw nearer to Him, and Abhay added it to his poem: <\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n \u201cI gradually take away all the wealth of those upon whom I am merciful.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n How was I able to understand this mercy of the all-merciful?<\/i><\/p>\n Everyone has abandoned me, seeing me penniless\u2014<\/i><\/p>\n Wife, relatives, friends, brothers, everyone.<\/i><\/p>\n This is misery, but it gives me a laugh. I sit alone and laugh.<\/i><\/p>\n In this maya-samsara [material world], whom do I really love?<\/i><\/p>\n Where have my loving father and mother gone now?<\/i><\/p>\n And where are all my elders, who were my own folk?<\/i><\/p>\n Who will give me news of them, tell me who?<\/i><\/p>\n All that is left of this family life is a list of names\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n DONATIONS FOR PRINTING TRICKLED IN and he hoarded every penny until there was enough money to print another issue of Back to Godhead<\/i>, the first in two years. In October, 1958, 1,000 copies rolled off the grimy letterset press at Kumar Jain\u2019s print shop and Abhay took once more to the streets, a sixty-four-year-old missionary with pointy white rubber shoes and a sack of magazines. <\/p>\n At night, more dreams came of his spiritual master urging him to accept the sannyasa <\/i>staff, dreams too frequent to ignore. Despite his hesitations, he wrote to Bhaktivilas Tirtha Maharaj, leader of the Chaitanya Math in Calcutta, requesting his blessings to become a sannyasi<\/i> and travel to America. Approval by Tirtha Maharaj would erase any impression that Abhay was breaking with Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati\u2019s institution. Tirtha Maharaj responded that before attempting such an ambitious journey, Abhay should join the Chaitanya Math and \u201chave a dignified organization in the background.\u201d Come here and work under me, Tirtha Maharaj proposed, then we will decide about your going abroad.<\/p>\n Abhay knew Tirtha Maharaj barely had enough money to maintain his math<\/i>, let alone print books or finance a mission to America. Rather, it was Tirtha Maharaj who should join him in executing their guru\u2019s order. Tirtha Maharaj\u2019s secretary, Dr. Verma, remembered the day Abhay came to talk with Tirtha Maharaj about taking a world mission seriously. \u201cThe discussion was loud,\u201d he recalled. <\/p>\n Abhay had extended an olive branch and it had been rejected. There was no longer a choice but to separate from his spiritual master\u2019s institution and find a way to America on his own\u2014not only without finances but also without the sanction of the institution that had raised him in devotional life. The next day he called a meeting. In attendance were B.R. Sridhar Maharaj; Sridhar\u2019s disciple, B.S. Govinda Maharaj; Abhay\u2019s son, Vrindavan Chandra; and Abhay\u2019s sister, Bhavatarini. Her marriage had not been going well, and she spent a fair amount of time with Abhay\u2019s family. The group heard him out and gave their opinions. <\/p>\n \u201cYes, it would be better if you become a sannyasa<\/i> renunciate,\u201d Bhavatarini said. \u201cDon\u2019t worry about your family, I will take care of them. I have five sons who have income. In any case, in your house they do not want that spiritual way of life.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cBecause of my relationship with your family,\u201d Sridhar Maharaj said, \u201cit would be better if I did not perform the sannyasa<\/i> ceremony. Best approach Keshava Maharaj in Mathura.\u201d <\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n \u201cYOU MUST DO IT,\u201d Keshava Maharaj said. \u201cWithout accepting the renounced order of life, nobody can become a preacher.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t know if I have the strength,\u201d Abhay confessed. <\/p>\n \u201cThat strength will come from above,\u201d Keshava Maharaj said, \u201cfrom your Gurudev acting on you. He will give you strength to carry out his order. You just be the instrument.\u201d3<\/sup><\/a><\/p>\n To spread Krishna\u2019s teaching abroad required someone who was both an exemplar of the Bhakti tradition yet flexible enough to adapt its teachings to a world governed by science and technology. Abhay had that balance: a devotee raised in strict Vaishanva fashion yet also educated in chemistry and economics, a person with his feet on the ground and his heart surrendered to God. He had no pretenses about being sent by Krishna, but his determination to do what his guru had asked was unshakeable. He agreed with Keshava Maharaj: the strength to do the impossible would come from above. He just had to agree to become the instrument, and becoming a sannyasi<\/i> was the first step. <\/p>\n On September 17, 1959, in a fifty-by-twenty-five-foot temple room on the second floor of the Keshavaji Math, B.V. Narayan Maharaj\u2014a disciple of Keshava Maharaj\u2014prepared the sacrificial fire. Bhaktivedanta\u2019s head was shaved, his tilak<\/i> formed impeccable double lines on his nose and forehead and he was dressed in saffron, the color of those who no longer belonged to the material world. Another disciple of the late Bhaktisiddhanta, Akinchana Krishna Das, sang prayers. A handful of math<\/i> residents were in attendance at the sannyasa<\/i> ceremony, which began at 8 a.m. and continued until 3 p.m.,4<\/sup><\/a> and when it ended there were embraces and tears and congratulations. <\/p>\n He walked out into the heat of summer and took a boat to one of the islands in the middle of the Yamuna River where he dragged the boat onto the sand and walked for a while along the sandy shore. Renunciation, it seemed, was worse in the contemplating than in the actual doing of it. \u201cHave the trees forgotten to create fruits for you to eat?\u201d Sage Sukadev declared in the Srimad Bhagavatam<\/i>. \u201cAnd if you are tired, are there no open fields for your bed? And if you are thirsty, are there no rivers to quench your thirst?\u201d <\/p>\n He paused to push sand into the shape of a small hill and stuck his bamboo sannyasa<\/i> staff in the middle of the mound, like the American flag at Iwo Jima or young King Arthur\u2019s sword, Excalibur, rising from its stone. He raised his arms to the sky and shouted, \u201cHaribol! Haribol!\u201d<\/i> Then he retrieved his staff and made his way back to shore.<\/p>\n In Vrindavan, no one called him Abhay Babu anymore. He was A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. <\/p>\n 1<\/a><\/sup> SPL p.212-13<\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n 2<\/a><\/sup> Poem published in Gaudiya Patrika.<\/i><\/p>\n 3<\/a><\/sup> OSP p.119<\/p>\n \n<\/p>\n
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By Yogesvara Dasa<\/strong><\/p>\n