![\"\"](\"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-kym3R85mwj8\/XDl4VqUFpdI\/AAAAAAAAoUk\/gCH7VrZrdBAS6cXuwOTdfvCQOT4dwe94wCHMYCw\/s0\/2019-01-12_06-19-03.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
By Partha Das and Uttama Devi Dasi<\/strong><\/p>\n A culture of appreciation can help us stay high forever, what to speak of improve our marriage.<\/p>\n As we devotees would say in the early days of ISKCON, \u201cChant Hare Krsna and stay high forever!\u201d<\/p>\n Krsna is known as Stavyapriya, one who likes being praised, so it is natural that we also find it uplifting. Srila Prabhupada often replied in letters, \u201cI am very much happy to hear your kind appreciation, and it is very much encouraging to me.\u201d<\/p>\n By hearing appreciation from Srila Prabhupada about their devotional service, disciples would be encouraged for their whole life. Srila Prabhupada\u2019s letter of appreciation of the seva of New Gokula\u2019s archa-vigraha, inspired us to serve Them for decades. \u201cThe picture of your newly installed Deity is very, very<\/em> nice. You may name them Sri Sri Radha-Madan-Mohan\u2026 And by serving Them you will all develop pure love of Krsna.\u201d Appreciation illuminates our inherent sense of self-worth and the value of others.<\/p>\n \u201cSo development of spiritual life means development of this appreciation, that\u2019s all.\u201d (SP lecture on 8\/19\/72)<\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n A mood of appreciation directly activates brain regions associated with the neurotransmitter dopamine, the feel-good hormone. In the honeymoon stage of marriage, we are flooded with dopamine, appreciating<\/em> everything about our spouse. With time, however, we each begin to notice things about the other that are irritating. I like to go to the airport 2 hours early and my wife likes to go at the last minute; she likes the resources materials neatly filed and stacked in drawers and it\u2019s so much easier for me to find when its spread out on the desk\u2026and so on times 103<\/sup>. And that\u2019s 100% normal. Successful couples, over time, change what they can, negotiate what they can\u2019t, and have a culture of appreciation what overrides or eclipses the inevitable irritations of living with a life partner. They learn the dance of bringing disharmony into harmony.<\/p>\n Research has shown that long term married couples can have no black and white solutions for 69% of their challenges and still be happy in their marriage. As Srila Prabhupada said there can be a disagreement between husband and wife but it will be like a thunderbolt with no rain. However, if the couple has a negative bias, a lack of appreciation, resentment and a dry relationship, a thunderbolt can wreak havoc. Near us, in British Columbia, Canada, on a dry summer day, a thunderbolt started a 14,000-acre forest fire.<\/p>\n We all know someone close to us who experienced havoc in their marriage and has been through a divorce. For a moment recall how that directly or indirectly affected you. I\u2019ll bet your dopamine is not flowing.<\/p>\n Many years ago we went through a difficult time, which, with other contributing factors, created tensions in our relationship. At a certain point, we made a commitment to work things out and improve our connection. This certainly involved a lot of understanding, collaboration, mutual compassion and an increasing culture of appreciation. The result today is that we have an ongoing warm, affectionate relationship.<\/p>\n Love is kept alive in the moments that let your partner know they are valued during the everyday interactions in life, not in fancy gifts or special vacations.<\/p>\n To cultivate being happy where we are, we need to appreciate what we have. So, to keep that dopamine flowing, here are some suggestions that can help you sustain that attitude of gratitude.<\/p>\n Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur said that love takes place when we open our heart to another person. We appreciate your reading to the end!<\/p>\n\n
![\"Hare](\"https:\/\/i.imgur.com\/YbgMpuF.jpg\")
By Partha Das and Uttama Devi Dasi<\/strong><\/p>\n