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Life On A Fast Day (funny song) by Yama Niyama Dasa…

Friday, 23 August 2019 / Published in Recent Media / 233 views

Life On A Fast Day (funny song)
by Yama Niyama Dasa Brahmachari
Devotees always ask me, “Yama Niyama Dasa Brahmachari, you are so bubbly and upbeat and positive! Is there anything at all that does not make you happy?” and of course the answer is, “Yes. Fasting.”
When I first came to temple I said, “I want to join your movement. When is Breakfast and what rules must I follow?”
Devotees told me, “Okay. Devotional life means no mating, no sleeping, no defending, and no eating the meat, fish or eggs.”
To which I replied, “But what about the chicken?”
They said, “No. It has eggs in it.”
I thought, “These people do not eat anything cookable!” But they gave me such incredible prasadam I thought I had gone to the Heaven.
Then, one terrible day, I came for the breakfast and there was no such thing! They told me, “Oh, no breakfast today, Bhakta Igor. Today is fast day.”
I said, “What is that?”
They said, “Fasting means no eating.”
I said, “Wait one minute; first you tell me ‘do not eat anything cookable,’ then you say ‘eat only prasadam’—which is like magic carpet ride for the senses—but now you are pulling carpet away? I am like ravenous cloud with no position in any… more
Listen to the song here:

Life on a Fast Day

I was brand new devotee, it was Janmastami day
And I was terminally starving
I had to eat or else I would go insane, my stomach was
Growling, it was practically barking
I was hypoglycemic, in a very bad mood,
My mind became ruthless, thinking “how to find some food?”
I could not wait for midnight. By then I would be dead.
Visions of gulab jamuns were dancing in my head and it was

Life on a fast day
Surely make you lose your mind
Life on a fast day, Oh, yes.

Eager for sweet rice, mad for the feast
They said to help out in the kitchen. That did not help me in the least.
They threw me out for salivating on the cutting board. They said,
“Take your snout outside. You’re spoiling bhoga of the Lord.”
I made so many visit to the charanamrita stand
It took seven strong pujaris to get the spoon out of my hand
I began hallucinating-one bar of soap became sandesh
I thought one tilak ball was laddhu, although maybe not so fresh and it was

Life on a fast day
Surely make you lose your mind
Life on a fast day, Oh, yes.
Life on a fast day—Check the time all the time.
Life on a fast day

Crazy from hunger, blinded by thirst,
I thought this day would be so great. I had never felt worse
I even ate one tube of toothpaste just to keep from blacking out
I frightened one devotee; I was foaming at the mouth.
I told my Bhakta Leader, “I think I’m going to bloop!” He said,
“Drink a little water. Pretend it is soup.” I said,
“Why is Krishna trying to kill me? I thought He was my friend!”
He said, “Chant your japa. It is only six a.m.”
Listen to the song here:

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