Can Devotees Be Afraid?

By Kesava Krsna Dasa

One devotee I know who has practiced Krishna consciousness for thirty plus years recently experienced a health crisis. Witnessing the bodily upheavals and depressing reactions to medication, the devotee admitted to being scared. Scared that the side effects of strong medication caused acute depression and that death could have arrived. Are we to say that such a steady devotee is in the mode of ignorance?

We nay say that fear is a symptom of ignorance. We may also think that because devotees are above ignorance, they will never experience any of the different constituents of fear such as anxiety, stress, distress, fright, panic and so on, not in terms of intense devotional service for the Lord, but in terms of personal health and emotional wellbeing.

If fear is a symptom of ignorance, does this mean that because we are serving on the level of ‘transcendence’, we can happily embrace death when it comes, and to accept whatever painful distresses are owed to us as karmic returns? Can liberated souls or eternal associates of the Lord be afraid at any time? Can devotees experience elements of fear that are not products of ignorance?

It is common for devotees to say, “We or I am not afraid of death…or, devotees are not afraid of dying because their future is very bright…”, as Srila Prabhupada would phrase it sometimes. This is true as a philosophical and enlightened devotional principle. But health, safety and emotional events can and do affect devotees, and they need not be seen as victims of ignorance in each and every case. There is a difference between dying in a controlled, prepared way as opposed to dying in a sudden, unexpected way – the emotional responses to each are also not the same.

Some devotees hate going to the dentist or a doctor. Others can’t stand needles (injections). Which devotees are going to welcome the pain and discomfort of post surgery recovery because, “It’s all related to the body Prabhu!” Yet others admit to being worriers about the welfare of their devotee families in this age of uncertainty and fear.

A common reaction from devotees when they do suffer a health crisis is, “I really didn’t think this would happen to me…” The suddenness and immediate life changing responses can heighten the fear experience. Here we are referring to a natural sense of fear. Fear is a natural response to shocking and extreme bodily or emotional events. We cannot repress it.

Srila Prabhupada also sometimes said that fear is caused when one does not know what the future holds. If a devotee has a health crisis, naturally thoughts of what future medical treatment is in store and whether it will surpass the pain threshold and other unknowns, will add to the anxiety. If it is said that brahmanas do not like pain, then why should Vaisnava brahmanas be much different?

I remember once when a ‘fearless’ sannyasi walked from one place to another, years ago. Along the way, a devotee driver driving a hefty sized van almost rammed into this sannyasi and applied his brakes with dramatic screeching effects. The sannyasa knew well his life was endangered in that instant. His shocked and emotional reactions said it all. I should know because I was in the passenger seat and witnessed this vulnerable side of his – If he can be affected, what about the rest of us? Again, his was a natural response, not necessarily a – tamo – ignorant one, although ignorance does play a part.

This incident happened during the times we were taught that bereavement from loved ones was taboo, and to display any of the constituents of fear was weakness and deep Maya. With the benefit of increased previous acarya information at our disposal, we learn that one of our stalwart pioneers, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur cried at the passing of his dear wife. “what can repression accomplish?”

It is true that the Bhagavad-gita third chapter reference for repression is contextual to lust, but it is equally applicable for all areas of emotional wellbeing. To artificially repress natural emotional responses to shocking and extreme stimuli on the plea od being a ‘fixed-up devotee’, will reveal 1) limitations to our human experience and 2) expose dishonesty for covering them up.

Srila Narottama Dasa Thakut advises us to put ourselves into dangerous, fearful situations like sharing a cage with a tiger, or to embrace an alligator or crocodile, rather than associate with people opposed to Bhakti principles. The fear of having one’s devotion diminished by such association is a worse fear than the previous two.

Did the eternal associates of the Lord and residents of Vrndavana not experience fear when gigantic monstrous demons made their presence felt among them? Weren’t some of Lord Chaitanya’s eternal associates afraid in certain circumstances? Aren’t devotees afraid to commit Vaisnava aparadha? But what about being afraid due to bodily or mental trials?

There is not a lot to be fearful of when practicing Krishna Bhakti. The need for us to be dependent on the Lord is our movable, all-embracing place of safety. When a devotee preaches with boldness without fear, it is under the shelter of such dependency – our dependence upon the Lord is our fearlessness.

Within this dependency there are still many fearful situations we have to avoid or face. Some, like having a health crisis might be unavoidable. Does it make sense for a devotee to be afraid even within the safety of dependence on the Lord? Isn’t the Lord capable of creating fearful reminders for His devotees to help increase their dependence even more, so as to foster deeper affection?

If a health crisis of a devotee that causes him or her to be afraid is seen as a sort of lack of faith or cowardice, we have to see the ongoing devotion of such devotees. These side issues of fear can be dwarfed by continual dependence upon the Lord. A useful quote from Plato can illustrate:

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark, the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light”.

The light of childlike dependence on Krishna overcomes all fearful situations for devotees, even when there are natural causes for fear. A fearless but uniquely compassionate Vasudeva Datta Mahasaya may have been willing to suffer the karmic returns of every individual soul within the universe. Can we all be like him?

Another way of making sense of why devotees might be afraid at times, is to know how fear is experienced in proportion to our ignorance of things. For example, we do not know everything about our physical bodies. When a health crisis strikes, and a devotee is ignorant of the nature of his or her symptoms, dramatic or life threatening as they may be, the fear caused is proportionate to the ignorance of them. Again, it does not reveal – tamo – ignorance.

As with the sannyasa who may be fearless, but when confronted with a sudden unknown (ignorant) occurrence as a sankirtana van about to hit him, his shock and natural fearful reaction happened in proportion to his ignorance of such a ‘close shave’ happening so abrupty. Such an exhibition of being afraid is not a – tamo – fault, but a natural bodily and mental response.

How can we reconcile devotees being afraid with Srila Prabhupada’s general insistence that devotees are fearless? Let us examine a purport written by Srila Prabhupada in connection with the story of Sri Narada Muni refusing a marriage proposal by Jara, the daughter of Time. She causes old age for all of us. If we read the ending of the pirport, we will get an emphatic impression that devotees are fearless, come what may:

“Because a devotee rigidly follows the instructions of Narada Muni, he has no fear of old age, disease or death. Apparently a devotee may grow old, but he is not subjected to the symptoms of defeat experienced by a common man in old age. Consequently, old age does not make a devotee fearful of death, as a common man is fearful of death. When jara, or old age, takes shelter of a devotee, Kalakanya diminishes the devotee’s fear. A devotee knows that after death he is going back home, back to Godhead; therefore he has no fear of death. Thus instead of depressing a devotee, advanced age helps him become fearless and thus happy.” (SB 4.27.24 purport)

By reading this we are left in no doubt about the all-round fearlessness of devotees. This is a culmination however, and is related to the earlier portion of the same purport where Srila Prabhupada indirectly hints at himself by way of describing how a devotee of seventy five or eighty years of age is not affected by jara, or old age. Included in this section are other aged Vaisnavas such as Srila Rupa Goswami, Srila Sanatana Goswami and Srila Krishna Dasa Kaviraja.

Before that, we should note how the words, “…not subjected to the symptoms of defeat experienced by a common man in old age…” refer clearly to Vaisnavas of a higher order. Not all devotees can be totally fearless as our eternally liberated acaryas. Devotees on the path of sadhana Bhakti are aspiring in the wake of such elevated souls:

“If a person is Krishna conscious, he can work like a young man even if he is seventy-five or eighty years old. Thus the daughter of Kala (Time) cannot overcome a Vaisnava. Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami engaged in writing Caitanya-caritamrta when he was very old, yet he presented the most wonderful literature about the activities of Lord Caitanya. Srila Rupa Gosvami and Sanatana Gosvami began their spiritual lives at a very old age, that is, after they retired from their occupations and family lives. Yet they presented many valuable literatures for the advancement of spiritual life.” (SB 4.27.24 purport)

The original question of whether a senior devotee admitting to being scared is in Maya, has been answered in various ways. The fact that such a devotee continues to serve in Krishna consciousness should inform us that these fear emotions are circumstantial and do not affect the devotees’ overall standing which is glorious. Without the temporary distress, the devotee is happy like all sadhakas. All glories to the Lord’s devotees.

Ys Kesava Krsna Dasa – GRS