By Kṛṣṇābhiṣeka Dāsa
My Dear Mahārāja,
Danḍavat. All glories to Your Divine Grace. Jaya Śrīla Prabhupāda.
Although I have met your several times until March 2006, I have never written any letter to you. I hope and pray that you will accept this posthumous offering at your lotus feet.
As I sat for my work today one e-mail popped from my dear god-brother in Calcutta, Shyāmāramaṇa dāsa. The news of your passing away came a bit untimely and unexpectedly. For a long moment I cast away all the work that I was doing and meditated on the lesson that you were teaching me : we have to be Kṛṣṇa conscious every moment. It might be my turn next. Who knows ? You are an Ācārya in your glorious passing as much as you were while you walked this planet.
Mahārāja, faint memories come flooding back as I meditate on your glorious passing. It is so wonderful that despite not being our body we take such pleasure in the philosophy of personalism through intimate association Vaiṣṇavas. Your life was a living lesson. Although I didn’t get your association the way some of your disciples, friends or well wishers did, I salute you from a distance with a pained heart. You are, in more than many ways, my hero. You are an Ācārya in your glorious passing as much as you were while you walked this planet.
I don’t remember the first time I met you: it was probably in the Māyāpura Candrodaya temple, probably back in the early 90s. I have seen you many times since then. I, however, remember you the last time I saw you. You had walked out of the Bhaktivedānta Institute bus that stood on one of the parks of the Candrodaya temple. Although I had been re-introduced to you by Shyāmāramaṇa prabhu, your disciple Shyāmārāni’s brother, I had not been able to talk to you at that moment. I took the opportunity to talk to you when I saw you coming out of the bus. I never thought that it would be my last meeting with you. You had asked me about my service and I remember you hearing, thinking and responding back when I said that HH Tamāl Kṛṣṇa Gosvāmī, my spiritual master, had encouraged me to “follow up” his academic work and preaching. I remember your encouragement and am thankful for your blessings for being able to do this service at Oxford University right now. I look up to you as one of the first academic preachers in ISKCON, and understand through your example how much Śrīla Prabhupāda wanted some devotees to talk to atheistic professors, scholars and scientists presenting them pure Kṛṣṇa Consciousness in their own language. You are an Ācārya in your glorious passing as much as you were while you walked this planet.
Beyond all that, Mahārāja, I know your heart is always with Kṛṣṇa and his dear devotees, especially Śrīla Prabhupāda. Please bless me that no matter how much I falter in my attempts to be steady devotee, one day I can follow your footsteps and make my life successful by remembering Kṛṣṇa intensely with loving devotion when I leave my body.
You have set an example for everybody in your passing : like your own spiritual master you were in the battlefield till the last moment. Like Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Saraswati Prabhupāda you left your body in Calcutta while preaching. I admire you as my ṣiksā guru and look up to you with awe and reverence. You are an Ācārya in your glorious passing as much as you were while you walked this planet.
The next time I see you on this planet, you would be situated in samādhi in your well deserved and rightful place : on the banks of Rādhā Kunḍa. The next time I shall perform circumambulation of the holy dhāma of Vṛndāvana, I shall surely come and pray for your inspiration that I may never be diverted from my service or be diverted from Kṛṣṇa by making my service a material affair. Please bless me so that one day I can become perfect one day and join you and your other godbrothers in nitya-līlā as a subservient assistant. For you are an Ācārya in your glorious passing as much as you were while you walked this planet.
Your spiritual nephew
Kṛṣṇābhiṣeka dāsa