By Lalita Labanga devi dasi
Hare Krishna Maharajas, Prabhus, & Matajis, Please accept my humble obeisance. All glories to Srila Prabhupada, Sri Sri Guru & Gauranga. All glories to my spiritual master HH Bhaktisvarupa Damodara Swami. I would like to apologize to some devotees who feel this is not the appropriate place to post my message. But I strongly believe some of this information will be pertinent to some.
Rewinding the clock decades ago. Growing up during my teen years, I discovered there was a difference between Jesus and God. But I did not understand why this was so complicated to the adults in church. My parents especially. A popular church song was “Do you know Him, Jesus Christ, God’s Son.” Simple right? I struggled with that song many years. My parents believed I was not sincere enough why I not understand that Jesus and God are one. But I did. They told me to pray more. I did and received the same answer.
My parents were faithful watchers of the news on TV. One day while watching the news, I saw this distinguished man being interviewed by a reporter. After he answered the reporter’s question, my father immediately said “That man was sent from God.” I was shocked. Out of all of the faith leaders my dad saw on the news and I witnessed him seeing on the news was the first and only time I heard my father say those words. Yes, he was referring to Srila Prabhupada.
Moving forward, it was time for my undergraduate college studies. My mission was to find God. To my surprise while attending an HBCU school, there were students from many countries. I think some of the students thought I was strange for inquiring about their belief. But I was on a mission. I wanted to know about their faith. Most of these students were faith believers in name only. Hint. I will admit there were many faiths unknown to me. I was even more inquisitive after having conversations with my international friends. The church I grew up in had many conferences (bishops, ministry council, Sunday School, youth, choir, women national conference, etc.) I attended for personal reasons or due to my parents’ affiliation. I did not find the answer I was looking for about God during my undergraduate studies.
Fast forward. I recall the first ISKCON temple I visited was in New Orleans. The devotees were so friendly. I was always attentive to how spiritualist/faith people conducted themselves with visitors. I was not exactly prepared when the altar opened. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Why were they bowing down to statues? A devotee was attempting to explain to me what was occurring, but my heart refused to slow down. The program ended, it was time to eat. As I sat waiting patiently to be served, a devotee gave me a plate with foods so colorful and most of all yummy. That same devotee returned and asked me how was the food? I said, it was really good and how much does it cost? He replied, if you would like to leave a donation, that’s fine and would you like some more? I said yes. My thoughts were this is better than the foods served during church fellowship. I saw pictures of Srila Prabhupada at the temple but I could not remember at that time where I saw him. I then visited the farm in Mississippi. While at the farm, I reminiscent my childhood years growing up on my parents’ farm; meaning, a lot of hard work. What remained with me was that the vegetables and fruits on my parents’ farm was better than the fresh vegetables and fruits sold at the stores. After the two visits at New Orleans and Mississippi temples, I had a dream. In this dream God asked me “Do you remember your prayers to Me as a teenager? God said, you found Me.” I woke up, I wondered what that dream meant.
Moving forward. I visited the temple in Los Angeles. I saw more picture of Srila Prabhupada. A devotee mentioned that Srila Prabhupada was on the news a lot. That’s when I remembered where I saw Srila Prabhupada on the news. My thoughts were, this is definitely where I should be and this is where I will find out about God. Back in the 80’s while living in the Bay Area, I met my guru at the San Francisco temple on 84 Carl Street. I met several wonderful spiritual masters over the years, but Krishna led me to my guru. At the beginning, I had no idea that HH Bhaktisvarupada Damodara Swami (HH BSDS) was a scientist. Here’s what I know. When you keep your spiritual master in your prayers, your spiritual master will always be with you to guide you. I know this is true because HH BSDS speaks to me.
I’m still on my retirement journey. I would like to share some information to the parents who have kids attending college in the USA. College life, especially if you live on campus is an opportunity for an individual to develop if that individual was not given the opportunity previously. The word on campuses nationally when parents are concerned about their child’s wellbeing and get involved is called, “helicopter parents.” Most college administrators don’t like helicopter parents. Parents have the right to remain involved with their child. When your child decides what school he/she want to attend, do you get involved as a parent, or do you let your child make all of the decisions for you? You have the right to ask pertinent questions to college administrators. Administrators often want to convince you it is best for your child to live on campus and eat in the dining halls. Really! Ok, let’s say you agree it is best your child live on campus. You agree, right. Some freshman have more than one roommate. Your child may not have anything in common with their roommate(s). There are no rules regarding when to play music in the dorm, when to go to bed, what food they can eat in their rooms, who can visit, have parties, etc. Sure there are quiet hours. You get the picture. So, where will your child eat, chant? Let’s be real, you don’t need to see all the ingredients and you know exactly what’s in the foods in the dining hall. Due to belief, a student cannot be forced to buy a meal plan on campus. Are you going to step up to the plate and be one of the helicopter parents or not? Some of these devotee kids will become our future ISKCON leaders. My parents checked up on me all the time at school. At that time, I was sometimes annoyed. But over the years I began to understand they were loving and caring helicopter parents. Parents, check up on your child if they are living on campus. You may be surprised what they’re doing.
Ok temple administrators, do you extend a helping hand to these devotee kids attending a college near you who may attend your temple, national, or international? It takes a village to raise a child. These kids need to eat and sleep. Some temples are having financial problems and they have empty guest houses. If devotee parents are willing to pay a college for room and board, why not offer your facility instead? Be kind, make an agreement in writing regarding the donation amount and the rules. Explain these rules to the parent and the child making sure there’s no misunderstandings. Let’s be real, I’ve been a college student where I stayed up all night long working on my dissertation. Meaning, the expectation of the child attending mangala arati and doing other temple services is not likely going to happen. Remember the reasonable donation that the parent agreed for room and board? If the child isn’t staying there but would like a meal plan, make arrangements. You may not be able to distribute prasadam on campus but if other students find out you have a meal plan, chances are that other vegetarian students may want to participate. Have you looked at how much schools charge for meal plans? So, if you already offer this service or may consider this service how can a devotee parent find this information? Post this information on your website etc. We should care about our devotee kids who attend college and help take care of them. We should also care about each other more than we do. It takes a village to raise a child. If a child is staying at your facility, the parent has the right to question their child what’s going on during their stay. I witnessed some devotee kids conducting themselves inappropriate during their undergraduate studies at a couple universities where I worked. Well, perhaps it’s time for our leaders to catch up with the needs for devotees in the century we now live in. Hint.
Some of the students who graduated gave back to their college, I inquired their reasons. Most students said it wasn’t the education, it was due to some of the people on campus touched their lives showing they cared. Some of these students gives generously to universities. The same could happen within ISKCON. Sure all of us know we should give to our temples, but sometimes temple administrators push the wrong button. Hint.
Let’s talk about bhakti yoga clubs on college campuses. Bhakti yoga is not owned by ISKCON. If an ISKCON devotee student establish a bhakti yoga club at their college and graduates without another devotee (sometimes there isn’t one available) to carry on the mission, any college student with interest in bhakti yoga has the right to take charge of the bhakti yoga club. Here’s a good example. I occasionally peruse student clubs where I work to see if there’s a bhakti yoga club. Sometimes yes. One time I met a student who revamped the bhakti yoga club. I inquired if he was affiliated with a temple/mandir. The student said “yes and the club was originally established by a student who attended the Krishna Temple (ISKCON, yes that’s another name for us), but my temple is now taking charge. Their philosophy was not the same as ISKCON. I met another student whose temple wanted to establish a bhakti yoga club on the same campus. This temple wanted to be identified. Their bhakti yoga club was called (blank) Campus Ministry. It made sense. ISKCON could establish an ISKCON campus ministry on campuses instead of the generic bhakti yoga clubs. This is 2016. Hint. Clubs on college campuses are for students to engage other students to join their clubs. Temple devotees who attend college campuses, if you believe the reason why a campus administrator rubbed you the wrong way, the first question to ask yourself, did you follow campus rules? Any religious/spiritual groups have the right to participate, but you do not have the right to take charge. That’s at any campuses. If a campus administrator suspects a church/spiritual group is taking over the club, the administrator will step in. I witness that happen with a church group. Sure some administrators or lenient than others, but not all. Some religious/spiritual groups want to preach without utilizing a club. That’s permitted. All campuses have a designated outside location where religious/spiritual groups can present themselves without a fee. I must admit students can be harsh when these groups present sometimes. The campus police officers are always near just in case.
Now the present time. I have a few more years to retire from work, I’m so looking forward to my retirement. I started my checklist of things to do. I attended a couple retirement meetings. Here’s something I learned at one of my retirement meetings may assist some of the devotees who live in the USA. A question from the audience pertained to spouse benefits. When the spouse reach age 62 (it is now 62 and a few months), the spouse can get ½ of their husband/wife social security benefits without taking away any of your husband or wife social security benefits. For example. If your husband/wife is scheduled to receive $1000 at age 62, you get $500 when you reach age 62. So, basically that’s an additional $500. Also, those who are divorced and were married to the ex-husband/wife for at least 10 years, never re-married, you either worked but made less than your ex or you did not work, you are also entitled to half of your ex-husband/wife social security benefits. You do not need his/her permission to receive these benefits. However you must show proof to social security. You can get copies of your marriage/divorced certificate from the state department where these papers were filed. Now, asking someone if they heard of such without educating yourself whether or not this true is on you. Also, some of you may not need the additional funds but know a devotee/temple struggling to make ends meet. Donate the extra funds to the temple/devotee. Why allow the government keep these funds when you could have donated the funds to a devotee/temple? Taking care of others is the right thing to do, if you are in position to do it. Just thought this might be helpful to some.
The best place to learn about sharks is within higher education institutions. They are the ones who train students before they journey out into the workforce and our devotee kids are included. Keeping our kids grounded by continuously letting them know you love them and care for them and most of all never forget Krishna is so essential today. You need to show them how much you care. One thing for sure is that people in general know if you care/don’t care about them. When temples choose to preach to college students, remember preaching to liberal arts students does not always work for students who study science. I worked at liberal arts schools and hard science schools. Preaching more scientific may be helpful at hard science schools. So, who am I. Simple, I am one who pays attention to details. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child.
I only have a few weeks of vacation time to travel yearly to Vrindaban and Radhakund until I retire. I’ve been to Manipur once and am looking forward to other visits along with Mayapur, etc. All of the places I visited, I miss dearly. Once I’ve retired from work I will then have the opportunity to spend much more time visiting holy places in India. I will also visit Bali because it was a favorite place that HH BSDS loved to visit and he recommended me to visit.
Hare Krishna.
Your servant,
Lalita Labanga devi dasi