By Vraja Bihari Das
“Thus I have explained to you knowledge still more confidential. Deliberate on this fully, and then do what you wish to do.” (Bhagavad Gita 18.63)
After having spoken the message of Bhagavad Gita, Krishna is now offering a choice to Arjuna; the choice of not following His teachings. Arjuna could either accept or reject the knowledge as he chooses to. It’s a ‘choice’, not a ‘command’; it’s about wanting to do and not should be doing!
Devotional service is sustainable only if ‘I want to do’ not if ‘I should do’
We heard the ‘should’ language the moment we came out of the womb; “you should not annoy your parents”; “you should excel in your studies”, “you should be a good boy or a girl”… Some pull through their entire life hearing this language and they also quickly learn to speak this language; when they are old enough to exercise authority over someone else, they successfully pass the legacy that they inherited from their seniors. Now their equals and dependents hear from them the same ‘should’… it’s not surprising that individuals living a life of ‘should’ are some of the most unhappy people in this world.
Many of them seek relief from their miseries, and some chance to come to ISKCON. Here the wonderful philosophy, prasad and kirtans give them joy. But soon we start to hear the ‘should’ language again. “You should chant 16 rounds daily”; “You should follow the four regulative principles”; “you should not to do this” or “you should do this”…the list is endless. Initially the other happy things in our Krishna consciousness help us tolerate the ‘should’ language that we hear from all other devotees.
As we grow older in the path of Bhakti, the ‘newness’ phase is over; we have gone to all the holy places of pilgrimage; we have heard all ‘exciting’ classes and danced in kirtans, and feasted on a rich cuisine of Prasad. When the honeymoon is over, the challenge begins; ‘why should I chant my rounds?” “Oh I have taken a vow” “I better do this and don’t do that or I’ll go to hell”
Then the drudgery sets in; the mind thinks, “I’d rather not do this, but I should do because I am a devotee, and what will others think of me” and “Oh, I can’t tell them I won’t chant because I have preached about this so much myself. How can I be a hypocrite; let me chant although I wish could do better things”
How long does this go on? Life after life, till we learn to offer our hearts to Krishna with love; till we learn to speak the language “I want to chant my rounds” “I love to render devotional service” “I am happy to be a servant of devotees”.
It’s only then that devotional service becomes my ‘choice’; otherwise it’s simply a ‘burden’. And if we don’t make the change now, it’s a matter of time before we either abandon our avowed spiritual practises or continue the sham of Bhakti, living in hypocrisy or guilt. Or terrible still make others’ life miserable by insisting that they ‘should’ do all the things we are doing. Our preaching is then aggressive, the driving force being to add more members to our misery camp.
How do we begin to learn the new language of ‘I want to’? Try two things: first take some time off every week and reflect on what you are doing in life and why are you doing them? Ask the painful question: “am I doing this because of some fear” or “what if I don’t do this what will happen” “What is the price I have to pay for doing this or not doing that and am I ready and willing to pay the price”….
As we seek answers to these questions we’d feel empowered and strong in our Krishna conscious convictions. The need for approval and acceptance from others will be gone. I’ll do things because I really want to do them, and will be confident to say ‘no’ to that I don’t’ want to do.
Secondly take responsibility for everything that you do and for all that happens in your life. This you do by stopping the blame game. A friend once said “I can’t come for your weekly programme because I have to attend the counselee meeting”. Remembering a similar situation I read about in Steven Covey’s seven habits, I decided to replay the ‘accepting responsibility’ game. I humbly said “I think the reality is you choose not to come for our programme because you want to attend the meeting”. “No, I want to come here, but I have to be there”, he insisted. Again I asserted, “My friend, you want to be there” He repeated his assertion. I then asked him what would happen if he didn’t go for the meeting there. “Well, I’d be ostracized by the group and would lose good friends” Then I completed the sentence for him, “I choose to attend the meeting because I want to keep old friends and need acceptance from my community”. He could now see the difference between the first sentence he spoke to me and now the one that truly reflected his mental state. He confessed this made him uncomfortable because suddenly he felt he was now responsible for his misery. It was easier earlier because he could easily blame others for his distress.
The more we learn the language of choice- “I am responsible for my life and I do things because I want to do them”-the more honest we’d become and we’d also be more naturally situated in Bhakti. And yes, of course, we’d also be happier.
About Author: Vraja Bihari Das
Vraja Bihari dasa holds a Masters degree in International Finance, and a MBA from Mumbai University. He is serving full time at ISKCON Chowpatty, and is an active teacher of Bhakti Yoga and a prolific writer on Krishna consciousness. He blogs over a dozen websites, and you can read his daily reflections on www.yogaformodernage.com
Now, the question arises of who is the “I ” who wants to do this thing and not that thing…?
Is it the conditioned mind, supported by the conditioned intelligence, serving the material ego, ahankara, which makes me think that “I” am the doer and thus the chooser, as explained in B.g. 3.27:
prakrteh kriyamanani
gunaih karmani sarvasah
ahankara-vimudhatma
kartaham iti manyate
The bewildered spirit soul, under the influence of the three modes of material nature, thinks himself to be the doer of activities, which are in actuality carried out by nature.
PURPORT
Two persons, one in Krsna consciousness and the other in material consciousness, working on the same level, may appear to be working on the same platform, but there is a wide gulf of difference in their respective positions. The person in material consciousness is convinced by false ego that he is the doer of everything. He does not know that the mechanism of the body is produced by material nature, which works under the supervision of the Supreme Lord. The materialistic person has no knowledge that ultimately he is under the control of Krsna. The person in false ego takes all credit for doing everything independently, and that is the symptom of his nescience. He does not know that this gross and subtle body is the creation of material nature, under the order of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and as such his bodily and mental activities should be engaged in the service of Krsna, in Krsna consciousness. The ignorant man forgets that the Supreme Personality of Godhead is known as Hrsikesa, or the master of the senses of the material body, for due to his long misuse of the senses in sense gratification, he is factually bewildered by the false ego, which makes him forget his eternal relationship with Krsna.
Or am I already on the spiritual platform, where “I”, as a spirit soul, am serving my highest interest by acting according to my own – spiritual – nature, in the line of my constitutional position – jivera svarupa hoya, Krishnera nitya das – as the eternal servant of the servant of the servant of the Master of trhe Gopis – Gopi bharthu padakamalayor dasa dasanudasa…?
If not, to reach that desirable spiritual and eternal constitutional position, there is the training process which has to be followed under the guidance of Sri Guru, which includes both sadhana and seva, and is meant for our purification so that, some day, our will and Guru and Krishna’s will become one…
“If not, to reach that desirable spiritual and eternal constitutional position, there is the training process which has to be followed under the guidance of Sri Guru, which includes both sadhana and seva, and is meant for our purification so that, some day, our will and Guru and Krishna’s will become one…”
Again you are going to maks a choice : I want to follow or undergo training process or I must or I am forced to follow training process.
Thanks Vraja Bihari prabhu for this article.
It’s not really a choice. The mind is a simple thing, it either wants things or it doesn’t, there’s little we can do about how it reacts to external stimuli. You can’t just order it what to like and what not to like. We can retrain it to like the taste of vegetarian food but it won’t be able to appreciate prasadam component of it. We can retrain it to like getting up early and singing mangala arati but it won’t see the Deity’s transcendental form.
So, if one day our minds become attracted by melodious kirtans or beautifully decorated Deities it would be a great help for the sadhana process but it won’t be real bhakti yet, and if, by circumstance, we get deprived of this particular kind of stimuli our “devotion” will be gone, too.
It’s the intelligence that is supposed to force us to perform sadhana regardless of how our minds feel about it and intelligence speaks in the terms of “should”, not “want”, so we are back to square one.
Our intelligence isn’t perfect either and, as actual bhakti starts growing in our hearts, we, as spirit souls attracted by Krishna, will occasionally be making decisions against our better judgment. Like gopis who left their husbands in the middle of the night but a lot less dramatic. There are plenty of controversies in our movement that suddenly might become too big for our intelligence to handle and we’ll just have to go with our hearts instead of what is considered to be right.
Somewhere along this way there might be a moment when our intelligence gets convinced that becoming a devotee is really the best course to take for our lives and that’s where we realize that we *want* to surrender, not that we *should* because everyone else tells us it’s a great thing to do. Maybe this is what Vraja Bihari Prabhu was talking about in the article but this kind of epiphany can’t be forced either, and from that moment on there will still be plenty of *should* orders coming from our intelligence to our minds.
There are no magic tricks to unlock our devotion, there’s a gradual process of anartha nivritti, chanting and avoiding offenses, there are no shortcuts, save for really special mercy.
This is not to say that the proposal in this article is bogus either, it encourages people to become better devotees therefore there can’t be anything wrong with it, whatever works.
The essence of the “should” concept is outlined by Krishna Himself in the Third Chapter of Bhagavad-gita:
evam buddheh param buddhva
samstabhyatmanam atmana
jahi satrum maha-baho
kama-rupam durasadam
Thus knowing oneself to be transcendental to material senses, mind and intelligence, one should control the lower self by the higher self and thus–by spiritual strength–conquer this insatiable enemy known as lust.
(B.g. 3.43)
PURPORT
This Third Chapter of the Bhagavad-gita is conclusively directive to Krsna consciousness by knowing oneself as the eternal servitor of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, without considering impersonal voidness as the ultimate end. In the material existence of life, one is certainly influenced by propensities for lust and desire for dominating the resources of material nature. Desire for overlording and sense gratification are the greatest enemies of the conditioned soul; but by the strength of Krsna consciousness, one can control the material senses, the mind and the intelligence. One may not give up work and prescribed duties all of a sudden; but by gradually developing Krsna consciousness, one can be situated in a transcendental position without being influenced by the material senses and the mind–by steady intelligence directed toward one’s pure identity. This is the sum total of this chapter. In the immature stage of material existence, philosophical speculations and artificial attempts to control the senses by the so-called practice of yogic postures can never help a man toward spiritual life. He must be trained in Krsna consciousness by higher intelligence.
So, at the conditioned stage, one has to apply higher intelligence, i.e. the instruction of Guru, Sastras and Saddhus to define and tell us what we have to do, that is to say, what is in our higher interest.
Otherwise, if we listen to our contaminated material mind, material intelligence and false ego, we are sure to be misled and to remain trapped in samsara.
However, it is understandable that a young person, just coming out of his/her parents’s house, may have some aspiration for more so-called “freedom”, which is to say that he or she may want to make his/her own choice and decisions…!
However, we shouldn’t be fooled and fail to remember that the conditioned soul is seeking nothing but so-called material enjoyment. Then, if we analyze the real motivations of this “I want”, we’d be surprised… Not to speak of its impermanent nature…
As it is, the mind is very flickering and unsteady. So, today we may want something, and tomorrow something else, not to speak about the next minute. Thus, Krishna instructs us:
yato yato niscalati
manas cancalam asthiram
tatas tato niyamyaitad
atmany eva vasam nayet
From whatever and wherever the mind wanders due to its flickering and unsteady nature, one must certainly withdraw it and bring it back under the control of the Self. (B.g. 6.26)
PURPORT
The nature of the mind is flickering and unsteady. But a self-realized yogi has to control the mind; the mind should not control him. One who controls the mind (and therefore the senses as well) is called gosvami, or svami, and one who is controlled by the mind is called go-dasa, or the servant of the senses. A gosvami knows the standard of sense happiness. In transcendental sense happiness, the senses are engaged in the service of Hrsikesa, or the supreme owner of the senses–Krsna. Serving Krsna with purified senses is called Krsna consciousness. That is the way of bringing the senses under full control. What is more, that is the highest perfection of yoga practice.
In the same way, we shouldn’t be fooled by the assumed-to-be-legitimate aspiration for happiness, which the author of this article claims, should guide us, in the form of “do what you want and not just what you should”!
In this regard, Krishna elightens us again:
O best of the Bhāratas, now please hear from Me about the three kinds of happiness by which the conditioned soul enjoys, and by which he sometimes comes to the end of all distress. (B;g. 18.36)
PURPORT
A conditioned soul tries to enjoy material happiness again and again. Thus he chews the chewed. But sometimes, in the course of such enjoyment, he becomes relieved from material entanglement by association with a great soul. In other words, a conditioned soul is always engaged in some type of sense gratification, but when he understands by good association that it is only a repetition of the same thing, and he is awakened to his real Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he is sometimes relieved from such repetitive so-called happiness.
As a matter of fact,
That which in the beginning may be just like poison but at the end is just like nectar and which awakens one to self-realization is said to be happiness in the mode of goodness. (B.g. 18.37)
PURPORT
In the pursuit of self-realization, one has to follow many rules and regulations to control the mind and the senses and to concentrate the mind on the self. All these procedures are very difficult, bitter like poison, but if one is successful in following the regulations and comes to the transcendental position, he begins to drink real nectar, and he enjoys life.
Whereas,
That happiness which is derived from contact of the senses with their objects and which appears like nectar at first but poison at the end is said to be of the nature of passion. (B.g. 18.38)
PURPORT
A young man and a young woman meet, and the senses drive the young man to see her, to touch her and to have sexual intercourse. In the beginning this may be very pleasing to the senses, but at the end, or after some time, it becomes just like poison. They are separated or there is divorce, there is lamentation, there is sorrow, etc. Such happiness is always in the mode of passion. Happiness derived from a combination of the senses and the sense objects is always a cause of distress and should be avoided by all means.
And that happiness which is blind to self-realization, which is delusion from beginning to end and which arises from sleep, laziness and illusion is said to be of the nature of ignorance. (B.g. 18.39)
PURPORT
One who takes pleasure in laziness and in sleep is certainly in the mode of darkness, ignorance, and one who has no idea how to act and how not to act is also in the mode of ignorance. For the person in the mode of ignorance, everything is illusion. There is no happiness either in the beginning or at the end. For the person in the mode of passion there might be some kind of ephemeral happiness in the beginning and at the end distress, but for the person in the mode of ignorance there is only distress both in the beginning and at the end.
So, even if the temptation may be there to preach some form of “new age” philosophy , whith more of “I want” and less of “I should”, our higher and best self-interest is still to follow the eternal teachings of Bhagavad-gita and go for the initial bitter taste and tapasya “tapo Me hridayam saksad”, rather than just follow or suggest to follow the wanderings of our materially conditioned mind…
Yet, the desirable position of only pure “wants” with no necessity of any more “should”, can be reached on the liberated spiritual platform, when one is free from one’s material cover, i.e. the conditioned subtle body…
In that regard, Srila Prabhupada translates in the fifteenth chapter of the Nectar of Devotion:
“The examples of spontaneous devotional service can be easily seen in Kṛṣṇa’s direct associates in Vṛndāvana. The spontaneous dealings of the residents of Vṛndāvana in relationship with Kṛṣṇa are called rāgānugā. These beings don’t have to learn anything about devotional service; they are already perfect in all regulative principles and have achieved the spontaneous loving service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. For example, the cowherd boys who are playing with Kṛṣṇa do not have to learn by austerities or penances or yogic practice how to play with Him. They have passed all tests of regulative principles in their previous lives, and as a result they are now elevated to the position of direct association with Kṛṣṇa as His dear friends. Their spontaneous attitude is called rāgānugā-bhakti.
Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī has defined rāgānugā-bhakti as spontaneous attraction for something while being completely absorbed in thoughts of it, with an intense desire of love. Devotional service executed with such feelings of spontaneous love is called rāgānugā-bhakti.”
However, one has to go through the initial training phasis (sadhana – anartha-nivritti), before one can speak fluently the foreign language (for a conditioned soul) of selfless love, just like one has to master one’s instrument, before one can become a virtuoso and start improvising…
So, let us all be a little courageous and austere… Let us renouce so-called material happiness… Let us try and divert our mind from its constant search for material enjoyment…
What is at stake is our joining Sri-Sri Radha-Rasabihari in their eternal pastimes… Isn’t it worth some sacrifice, in this lifetime and possibly the next, before we can be home, for good and forever…?