By Bhakta Carl
Dear Mind,
This morning during japa you were again complaining about the apparent futility of this routine, about the seeming lack of reciprocation from Krsna. I understand and sympathize with your frustration (although Iām not sure what exactly your expectations are). But please recall this anecdote that you once heard:
Several students were living and practicing spiritual discipline under their Guru in an ashram. A time came one day when several of those students reached a stage of mystic attainment (yoga-siddhi) where they could read the āBook of Eternal Lifeā embedded in the AkAsha. There were two columns – those souls who were to be liberated, and those who were to be damned once again. The contents shocked them: Their own Guruās name was listed in the category of the unredeemed. Seeing this, many of these students left the ashram without a word, in dismay. Even some students who didnāt have that vision left when their more advanced godbrothers told them about this common vision that many of them had.
After a couple of days, this old Guru noticed that the attendance to his classes had dropped and wondered aloud where all the students had gone. Very few had stayed back: A tiny section of those who had that vision stayed back because they felt sympathy and love for their Teacher, and a sense of indebtedness to him. After all, it was only under his instruction that they had even managed to reach this stage of mystic perception. There were also a couple of other students who hadnāt had that vision, but decided to stay back merely because of some human affection for this elderly man they called Guru.
One of the mystically endowed students spoke up, and told the Guru what had happened, and how most of his brightest and most advanced students had decided to quietly leave. On hearing this, tears welled up in their teacherās eyes, and in a humble voice choked with repentance he confided: āFor 40 years I have been staring at that page of the Book of Life, in despair. But what else can I do except repeatedly knock at the Door of God? Is there anywhere else in the universe I can go? So everyday I continue to knock at my Masterās door, repeatedly, with hope.ā
At that very moment, those students saw in their mindās eye that their Guruās name was lifted from the column of the Damned and moved to the column of the Chosen. It was the greatest lesson they had learned in all their student years in the ashram.
yam evaisa vrnute tena labhyas tasyaisa atma vivrnute tanum svam: āHe (God) is obtained only by one to whom He chooses to reveal Himself. To such a person He manifests His own form (tanum svam).ā (Mundaka Upanisad 3.2.3)
Krsna is the Transcendental Autocrat and the Reservoir of real Pleasure. So dear Mind, even if japa seems repetitive and fruitless, what other options do you have? Do you have anything better to offer? Honestly, I donāt think so. Even the hope of attracting the attention of Krsna is worth more than the temporary gratifications that anything else has to offer. This world is made of empty shells of name and form (nAma-rUpa). Their sole purpose in creation was to resonate with the hope of rejoining Krsna in Vrindavan.
Again, Krsna is the Transcendental Autocrat and the reservoir of real Pleasure. On your own, you are a nobody, a void. Stopping japa is not an option; japa is hope itself. Everything else is futile monkey-tricks.
Hare Krishna ,
Thank you Bhakta karl for your interesting piece. I would like to add a different perspective. Refering to japa you said that the mind can interpret it as ” ..(an)apparent futility of…routine,…….(and)….japa seems repetitive and fruitless”. You have wonderfully counteracted the mind’s complaints with the soothing story of that old guru. As an alternate view, we should understand that the mind’s interpretation of its experience with the Holy Name has a lot to do with the the adhikara of the person who is chanting the name; this in turn is related to the sadhaka’s receipt of Nama Tattva, and his degree of extant conditioning. By virtue of experiencing material life through the sensory apparatus, we develop many idioms about phenomena. These idioms become embedded structures in our belief mechanism, and it guides ( albeit biased ) the way in which we will interpret experiences . As per this situation , we have idioms about what constitute productive endeavor; when we sit down to chant the Holy Name we unconsciously impose these acquired idioms of productive endeavor on our efforts at chanting the Holy Name. Chanting of the Holy Name is an absolute activity , and has no obligation to resemble the materialsit’s notion of what constitutes productive activity. Thus it is easy for the mind to play such tricks on us ( ie: thinking that chanting is repetitive and fruitless). The cure is to try to understand what the Holy Name is on its own terms, not in relation to the embedded, bias producing structures of the material intelllect. If we are factually interested in Krishna, and we suppliment our attempts at japa with significant amounts of steady guided service in our guru’s mission, then everytime we sit to chant the Holy Name we will sit before Him with a greater stock of love( more well placed adhikara) to take the Name. In time these discursive movements of the mind will lessen, and we will begin to experience the Holy Name in a different, and renewed way.
Haribol, Bhakta Carl;
You seem to have captured a deep and true understanding of our hopeless and futile condition. All we can do is cry for Krsna. May you cry always and in this way actually enjoy the highest nectar. Yes, you are a fallen fool, and your only salvation is completet dependence upon that Kindest One, Sri Krsna. He will respond or not, still you keep on begging. Never stop this crying, thinking that now you have become advanced. Cry and chant, that is the very best thing. Thank you for cutting through the maya and declaring the truth. I also wish to graduate from the school of crying.