From the corner of the room

By Krishna Kumari Devi Dasi

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada and Gurudeva!!

The practical method of God realization propagated by Caitanya Mahaprabhu is that everyone, always and everywhere, chants the names of Krsna, especially the Maha-mantra:

Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.

Chanting of these sublime names effectively destroys all sinful effects and instills pure love of Krsna.

Through the mercy of Krsna and Guru, we are put into the position of meeting devotees of the Lord. If we are fortunate, we have some attraction for the Holy Name. My son, Trikalajna das was instrumental in supporting me to become a devotee of the Lord. This is the story of the day my life began…

At 19, my son had moved to Portland, Oregon to live with a friend and his family. His goal was to be in a rock and roll band and become rich and famous. During this same time, by oldest daughter was getting ready to have her first child. When she went into labor, it was exciting but the labor became long and difficult. There were complications and the atmosphere was full of anxiety and concern. There was a phone call from my children’s father; he wanted to know if I knew what my son was doing? I had spoken to my son a couple of days earlier and he was working part time and taking some classes at the community college. His father then informed me that he had dropped all of those plans and had “gone and joined the Hare Krishna’s”!

There was a bit of a surreal feeling as my mind tried to recall what I knew of the Hare Krishna’s. My image was of young men dress up in orange costumes, jumping up and down singing on the street corners and in airports asking for money. Not exactly, the life I had envisioned my son pursuing. I told his father that I had to close my mind to this new information until after the birth took place and everyone was ok.

Two weeks later, my husband and I planned a trip to the Hare Krishna temple in Portland, Oregon to see what was going on. My son who was dressed in a white dhoti and kurta greeted us. He had a shaved head except for a tuft of hair left on the back. It was a shock to see him looking so different. I had absolutely no idea what all of these changes meant. I was going to find out.

We attended an evening Arotika and I was immediately drawn to the singing of the Maha-mantra. The temple president gave a class and I do not even remember the content. I certainly did not understand it! He answered our questions and listened to our concerns with compassion. He did his best to alleviate our fears. My greatest concern was the idea I had of Iskcon being a cult and that my son would turn away from his family and become brainwashed. It was only through experience that I learned how our relationship would change.

I left feeling very strange. I could not understand what had made my son turn away from the live he knew to a culture that was so different. Yet there was something familiar and compelling as well. I thought I had done something wrong as a mother and went through a period of soul searching before deciding I needed to get more information on Krishna consciousness and learn why this philosophy was attractive to him. In my youth, I had always been searching for the absolute truth and my experiences in life and religion were preparing me for this moment.

When I was 8 years old I had a near death experience. I was born with a birth defect that required multiple surgeries. I knew that I was in danger of dying with each surgery I had. After one such surgery, there were complications and my heart stopped. I had a classic near death experience where I left my body and witnessed the medical staff trying to resuscitate my body from the corner of the hospital room. It was such a relief to be free of that body. I was happy to leave it behind and I turned away to the light and tunnel. I was immediately stopped by a presence that would not let me go any further. I knew I did not want to go back into that body, but the presence said that I had to go back to the material world to “remember Him”. Who was I suppose to remember? At that point, it felt like I was pulled back into my body, back to pain and suffering. There is medical documentation for this experience and my parent’s validation as well. This memory is as clear to me today as it was 42 years ago. I knew from that moment on that I was more than my physical body. The many years that came after were preparing me for the next step of my journey.

After my first temple experience, I started reading books on Iskcon by HDG AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada and attending more programs at the Portland temple and spending weekends when I could. As I came to understand the philosophy and mission of Iskcon, I became more and more attracted to becoming a devotee. I began to adjust my life to follow the regulative principals by starting to be a full-fledged vegetarian, chanting 16 rounds, avoiding intoxicants and illicit sex and gambling.

On one of my weekend trips to the Portland temple there was a Sannyasi visiting, HH Bir Krishna das Goswami. I was very much attracted to his preaching and felt at ease talking to him about my life and Krishna Consciousness. I started to write him regularly and knew he could guide me to become a devotee. I asked him to accept me as a disciple. By his mercy, I received first initiation into the chanting of the Holy name. I am eternally grateful to HH Bir Krishna das Goswami for his guidance. I became engaged in doing service at the Vancouver Iskcon Temple in Vancouver, British Columbia since it was close to where I lived. The devotees have been so merciful to me at the temple. They have become my spiritual family and their association has helped me to make progress in Krishna Consciousness.

My son has been in the brahmacari ashram for a number of years now. The relationship we have is closer and better than it ever was before he became a devotee. Other members of our family have become devotees and the ones who have not are supportive of our Iskcon lifestyle. Iskcon has totally changed my life and now whomever I meet will hear about the glories of Sri Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead! The human language is too limited for properly expressing my appreciation for the mercy of becoming a devotee. Now I understand the meaning of my near death experience. It was to remember Him, Sri Krishna! Achieving love of Krsna is now the goal of this and every life. I only pray that life after life I be placed as an atom at His Lotus Feet!

May we always be thinking of Krishna!

Your humble servant in Krishna’s service,

Krishna kumari devi dasi

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