Rescue – In the Nick of Time!

By Praghosa Das ACBSP

I would like to offer a direct and personal comment to the young lady whose questions to HH Romapada Swami were used by him in the article entitled “Dealing with unexpected reversals in life”. ( http://www.dandavats.com/?p=3465 )

The subject offers us a chance to look closely at what constitutes “reversal”.

While I agree with Maharaja in the issue of accepting suffering in the mood of one who considers all suffering to be a fraction of what we deserve, I would suggest that we approach this matter a little differently. This is not an actual reversal. Especially in the matter of marriage. The young man revealed either his or this young lady as being not yet qualified for marriage – otherwise it would have happened. It is not something to be tolerated as a result of past sinful action so much as being fully understood. I see it as being the result of good karma or Krsna’s Mercy. Something to be welcomed and even celebrated!

The good Maharaja – having never committed to working and spending 2 million dollars in the care of a wife and family – simply cannot see it this way. This is not a fault at all. But lacking such experience – his response left out a very important angle of vision.

The young lady ended with “I am helpless”.

Maharaja’s comments to your question and comments were fine and expressed clearly the general response we are always advised to take in the face of reversal. After all – this material world is called Maya or “That which is NOT what it pretends to be. This entire realm is imagined to be a place within which the jiva is allowed to engage in his pastime of forgetting Krsna when in truth – it is created for the Lord to engage in His Lila of rescuing us from this very specific “reversal of reality” and His “reversing” our forgetfulness of His existence and the wonderful role we actually have within it.

Now – as a young lady of marriageable age – you have great value. If you are chaste and modest, clean, healthy of mind and body, capable and cheerful of disposition, favorable to your parents and fixed up in devotion to our Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krsna – with no blemish of character – then what happened to you was not a reversal. What happened was an unqualified man pretended to value your qualities sufficiently to ask for your hand in marriage and then later he realized that he was not fully capable or willing to pay the full price for your hand. After all – the enthusiastic willingness of a young man to take full charge of a chaste young lady in marriage is a perfect demonstration of his recognizing her value in all ways, both “objectively” and “subjectively”.

Objectively he can see that she will make “someone” a very wonderful companion and assistant in his devotional service and an excellent mother for his sons and daughters. “Subjectively” he wisely seeks to bring her and her valuable qualities to his life and seeks the advantages that they offer.

Clearly – this young man was either not yet capable of meeting the full price (marriage) required to secure your full committment, or he was, but was not capable of seeing the qualities you brought or considered your qualities to be less than he was seeking for a wife. The matter of his “guru” stepping in and advising him against this marriage is fiction only. No man will allow another man – guru or otherwise – to make such a decision for him; unless of course he is unsure of his intent, strength of desire, or the character or capacity of the prospective bride.

Now any man who does allow outside influence is simply not of marriageable age. This “advice” by his guru merely served to fully expose this. No doubt he so advised the young man because he could see that the young man was either not eager or not capable, for if he was – no man would advise against his marriage.

Lord Krsna is described in the 5th Canto of Srimad Bhagavtam as “the only real husband” and after learning of the reality of the Lord and His lila, we enact the roles of husband or wife in this world – merely to demonstrate our aligning our purpose with His. The Lord’s pastimes in this world – are described as “humanlike” not because they resemble the actions of human society. They are so cited because the Lord comes to this world and exemplifies the correct conduct for what are called “human beings”. If we carefully read Srila Prabhupada’s rendering of the Tenth Canto in his Krsna: The Supreme Personality of Godhead, we find Lord Krsna’s Daily Activities wonderfully recounted. Likewise there is the beautiful chapter where some of the principle Queens of Lord Krsna take such delight in telling Draupadi how they each met and wed with Lord Krsna. Thus if our actions are guided by the example of Lord, then our activities are “humanlike” or like what humans are supposed to do as shown us by the Lord Himself.

Your desire and willingness to marry the young man who initially requested your companionship and help in forming a family of devotees – was ultimately altered by the reality of either his lack of ardor or ability to measure up to the demands that would be placed upon him in that venture. His lack of ardor could have been due to his perceiving you as undeserving of such an investment of 30 years of time and effort. Or he could very well have realized that he was not yet sufficiently capable of paying the “full price” demanded of him that marriage entails.

No matter what the case – if you are confident of your qualities and capacity – then all that really happened is – your real long term protector – Lord Krsna – stepped in and rescued you from an unqualified man and preserved all the qualities you do possess – to ensure that they are not wasted upon an unqualified man and will be fully intact – when Lord Krsna’s “choice” for you does indeed come along!! No man of good character will request a woman’s hand and then for no good compelling reason – give it back. That is not acceptable. My own policy of instruction to my 4 sons has always been – “You break it – you buy it my friend”. I cannot imagine that a “guru” would advise a young devotee to break his word in this fashion. Of course it happens but it is not acceptable “advice” from men of character. What most likely occurred is the devotee so “advising” this young man could see the young man’s ambivalence and stepped in and merely proved the young man’s lack of maturity.

That makes the entire affair a thrilling reversal of what could have been a horrible misfortune; marrying a man unqualified by dint of his being blind to your good qualities or incapable of paying the full price that is marriage – or someone who was not as enthusiastic to serve Lord Krsna with your company as he could be.

Seen in this light – your “reversal” is rescue!

It can be seen as Lord Krsna “riding to your personal rescue” just as He did for Queen Rukmini. She was likewise to be wed with a most unqualified man – Sisupala. This man was inimical to Lord Krsna – to the very marrow of his bones. But Lord Krsna – following the “advice” of Narada Muni – stepped in to thwart the plans of Rukmini’s brother who had arranged her betrothal to Sisupala the hated enemy of Lord Krsna. You know how that ended – with Rukmini driving the “getaway chariot” with Krsna firing arrows at all the kings who tried to help Sisupala reclaim what he considered his property; the radiant Princess Rukmini!

In the preface of the Teachings of Lord Chaitanya – Srila Prabhupada writes:

“In the surrendering process, one should: (1) accept things favorable for discharging devotional service, (2) reject things unfavorable, (3) believe firmly in the Lord’s protection, (4) feel exclusively dependent on the mercy of the Lord, (5) have no interest separate from the interest of the Lord, and (6) always feel oneself meek and humble.”

If in the future you do marry – you will be called upon to exhibit the above mood of surrender to your husband. Such behaviour will nourish your relationship with your husband and serve as a wonderful example for your children. It is this quality above all others that will win the full measure of your husband’s heart and his full commitment to do whatever it takes to care for you and your children. In fact your mood of surrender will inspire him to do all that is needed.

Don’t be disheartened by the diminished value subjectively assigned you by one young 21 year old boy. The Lord Himself values each of us –unlimitedly. He wants only what is best for you and this boy.

Do all that is required to ensure your own self confidence in your qualities and capacity. If this young man is to be your fortunate companion so gifted by no less than Lord Krsna Himself – then nothing will prevent that from eventually happening. And if in the future – the real husband comes along who easily and instantly sees your value and eagerly seeks your hand and wins your heart – what have you lost in the present?

However – don’t measure the notion of “reversal” as being other than an inability to see the protective hand of Lord Krsna in everything that happens to us. If we are chanting His name with faith and affection – why we should doubt His presence and full knowledge of exactly what we need to perfect our life and bring us to Him? Lord Krsna dropped everything and raced to the rescue of Rukmini – pulling her from the clutches of the rascals “exactly like the lion steals the the prey from the jaws of the lesser jackals!”

This was no “reversal of fortune” my young friend! This was an amazing “rescue” by Lord Krsna!

After learning of Lord Krsna’s protection and care for His devotees – and then forgetting that in a moment of weakness would be a “reversal”. Think of all that the world suffers and realize that they are suffering primarily due to their not knowing the instant availability of the Lord’s presence and protection.

We suffer no such thing. It is our ignorance that has undergone “reversal” with our meeting Srila Prabhupada and his books and we should do all we can to reverse the ignorance of those who have not yet discovered the protection of Lord Krsna!
Vyasadeva was described by Srila Prabhupada as “despondent” because he had not sufficiently glorified the Lord. We can all shake off “despondency” and the feeling of helplessness – by going out on Samkirtan.

Srila Prabhupada told us once in Chicago “The achievements of Visvamitra Muni came to him after he performed great austerities for 60,000 years! Those same results come to a devotee – after the performance of samkirtan – FOR A FEW DAYS ONLY!”
Now – with information like that – how can you or I or anyone – feel helpless or hopeless or depressed?

To despair – is to turn our back on Krsna!

Go on samkirtan – wherever you are. Join in the kirtan – with all your friends and family – wherever you are. In a “few days only” – you will be as peaceful and inspired as can be. Tell everyone you meet how Krsna came to your rescue! He brought you to Srila Prabhupada and his books. The Holy Name! The devotees! And He even spared you marrying the wrong man – IN THE NICK OF TIME!

Read the Story of Rukmini’s Rescue for inspiration!

When I was ill with Cancer – I personally took great shelter in recounting this pastime and the story of Krsna’s Killing the Rascal Kamsa. Both —-IN THE NICK OF TIME!

Krsna really knows how to be dramatic!!

Down the road – either that 21 year old “boy” will have grown into a wise and capable young man, becoming the “right man” and come back to you with a determination to pay the full price for your hand – or your real “Krsna Catch” will have fully matured somewhere and will arrive in time to win you before some other imposter tries to interfere with Krsna’s intentions.

Respectfully

Praghosa Das – (NYC)
pdhedemark@yahoo.com