To be attentive on the level of the heart when chanting the holy name requires deep internal work. We have to become personal in our relationship with Krishna, consciously directing ourselves towards Him while calling out in helplessness: “I know You are there – please accept me!” The secret is to chant while mindfully turning towards Krishna, appealing to Him with a deep and genuine longing in our heart – longing for this loving relationship. Only such chanting that is filled with longing, will develop our relationship with Him. Only when we chant with such quality of feeling within our heart will our relationship with Krishna develop and gradually become a tangible reality in our daily life. Such a desperate appeal towards the Lord can only be expressed if we are in a humble state of mind. Therefore, Mahaprabhu has instructed us to be more humble than a blade of grass and more tolerant than a tree. Chanting the holy name while turning towards Krishna and longing to develop our relationship with Him, will destroy our tendency for impersonalism and will reconnect us with the Lord. In fact, it is possible to chant Hare Krishna for many years, even lifetimes, and at the same time completely ignore the personality of Krishna and our relationship with Him. Indeed, this is a very common occurrence since we all carry a little impersonalist within our heart! After all, even Mayavadis chant the maha-mantra; however, their chanting is without the intention to develop a loving relationship with the Lord. Thus it can be understood to be merely a reflection, rather than the holy name. Chanting without being mindful of Krishna’s presence can be compared to an empty medicine capsule. There’s no medicine inside, and thus no effect! It is only external lip service. From outside it may seem like the real thing, but it is simply a shadow or semblance of the holy name.
As a matter of fact, one can keep oneself externally busy within (so-called) Krishna consciousness, and leave Krishna and our relationship with Him entirely out of the picture. It is indeed possible, especially in this age of impersonalism and voidism. A relationship does not develop automatically, simply by time passing by. We have this experience also here in this material world; to bring any relationship to deeper levels requires conscious effort and endeavour. It requires the willingness to serve and sacrifice our energy for the satisfaction of another person. And it all begins by being mindful of the person’s presence in our life. Some time ago I heard the story of one mataji in Ukraine who was just about to leave her body. The devotees asked her, “So, you want to go back to Krishna?” Surprisingly, she answered, “No!” When devotees further inquired, she explained, “Actually, I have no relationship with Krishna!” This can also be our fate if we take empty medicine capsules and don’t fill our chanting with genuine longing for Krishna. In his book Padyavali, Srila Rupa Gosvami instructs us as follows: “Pure devotional service in Krishna consciousness cannot be had even by pious activity in hundreds and thousands of lives. It can be obtained only by paying one price – that is intense greed to obtain it. If it is available somewhere, one must purchase it without delay.”
A person with intense greed to obtain something, will have his heart filled with longing. This is the foremost qualification required in order to cultivate pure bhakti. We have to yearn for Krishna instead of longing for sense gratification and material achievements. Our longing for Krishna will purchase Him.
It all begins with a mindfulness of the personality of Krishna being actually present. Thus our chanting becomes ‘my time with Krishna’. Adding this aspect of longing for Krishna to our chanting has the power to transport our meditation to a different level. It can transform our chanting from an impersonal, mechanical and dry ordeal into our time of personally associating with the Lord. We can meet Him face to face.
It is simple and logical: If we spend two hours every day in chanting our japa while turning to Krishna and longing for our relationship with Him, sooner or later something will grow and develop within this relationship. It will become a tangible reality in our life. Gradually we will become firmly established in this eternal reality of our connection with Him, which cannot be taken away by anyone or anything. Then we will realise more and more how everything else around us is merely a part of the nonsensical stage performance.
Ultimately our fear of death shows how little our relationship with the Lord is established. And proportionally, as we connect with Krishna intimately through attentive chanting, our fear of death will gradually diminish, until we will look forward to finally joining Him in the spiritual world.
Your servant, Devaki dd