“Don’t take me to the hospital”

“Don’t take me to the hospital”
Srila Prabhupada did not like to be experimented on by drug giving doctors and in one story it was Gargamuni and Brahmananda that he got to take him out of the hospital, prematurely, in the eyes of the doctors.

“The doctors, or more often their aides, took blood, gave injections, and investigated. Their diagnosis wasn’t conclusive: they had plans for experiments. Then suddenly a doctor came in and announced their next move: a spinal tap. Prabhupāda was too weak to discuss the pros and cons of a spinal tap. He had put himself in the care of his disciples and Kṛṣṇa.

The doctor didn’t want to be impeded. He explained why a spinal tap was necessary, but he wasn’t asking for consultation or permission. Everyone-except for Kīrtanānanda, who insisted on staying-had to leave the room while the doctor performed the spinal tap. Neither Prabhupāda, who was too weak, nor his boys, who were uncertain how to act on his behalf, opposed the doctor. The devotees filed out of Prabhupāda’s room while the doctor readied the largest, most frightening needle they had ever seen.

When they were allowed back, one disciple asked cautiously, “Did it hurt, Swamiji?” Śrīla Prabhupāda, his golden-skinned form wrapped in white hospital garments and lying between the white sheets, turned slightly and said, “We are tolerant.”

Rūpānuga: When Swamiji was first admitted to the hospital, it was very hard for me. I didn’t know how I should act. I didn’t have much experience with this kind of emergency. I was very uncertain as to what service to do for Swamiji. It was a frightening experience.

Swamiji’s life was at stake, yet his disciples didn’t know what to do to save him. He lay on the bed as if at their mercy. But the hospital staff considered him their property-an old man with heart trouble, a subject of investigation. And for Swamiji’s disciples this was a hundred times worse than dealing with Mr. Price and company. Now it was not just a matter of risking money but of risking Swamiji! Should they allow the EEG? What was an EEG? Was an operation necessary? An operation! But Swamiji had said that he should never even be brought to a hospital. “Give me massage,” was all he had said, and “Chant Hare Kṛṣṇa.”

When Śrīla Prabhupāda mentioned his preference for the Āyur Vedic medical treatments available in India, some of the devotees suggested they bring a doctor from India. After considering the expense, Prabhupāda decided to send a letter first. Unable to sit up or write, he slowly dictated a letter to Sri Krishna Pandit, who had given him quarters for several years in his temple in Delhi. Satsvarūpa read it back to Prabhupāda and then typed it right there in Prabhupāda’s hospital room.

I am writing this letter from the hospital. All of a sudden I have developed some headache, as well as throbbing of the chest. When I rub my chest I feel some sensation in my left hand and when I rub my left hand I feel sensation in my chest. My left hand no more works independently. I therefore ask you if there is any good Vedic physician in Mathura who can send me some medicines, that is, you purchase and send them by air mail to our temple: ISKCON, 26 2nd Ave., New York, N. Y. The symptom is predominantly when I get severe pain within my head. And the trembling of the left hand is coming every ten or fifteen minutes. I am afraid if this is not a disease like Lakhya; the boys are taking utmost care of me, there is no scarcity of care. But still after all, this body is subject to death. I came here with a great mission to execute my Spiritual Master’s order but my heart is stabbing me. Of course, I’m not afraid of Maya, I know Maya cannot touch me, but still if I die in this condition, my mission will remain unfulfilled. Please therefore pray to Prabhu Lord Chaitanya and Vrindaban Bihar, to rescue me this time, my mission is still not finished. I wish to live for a few more days. They’re prepared to call an experienced Ayur Vedic physician who treats such diseases but I’ve not allowed the boys. But if necessary, if you can give me an expert physician who can travel here we can send necessary money for his coming here or arrange for air ticket. You can consult the man in charge of Dacca Shakti.

At last I may inform you that I am inclined toward Ayur Vedic treatment. You can consult the Ayur Vedic physician in Vrindaban who is a Goudiya Vaishnava. He knows me very well. He sells my books also.

Two things are to be done if it is possible; to send me proper medicines and directions, that will be nice. But if I require to return that also I can do. Please try to reply as soon as possible in English because my students cannot read Hindi. So long as I’m in bed it’s not possible to read letters. You can treat this letter very urgently. Consult necessary physicians and let me know what I am to do. In Mathura there are undoubtedly many Ayur Vedic physicians and many quacks also. Try to avoid the quacks. I would have returned to India immediately but the doctors say it is risky. If need be, I shall return as soon as I get strength to take the strain of the journey.

I repeat my symptoms so that you can take necessary care. All of a sudden I developed some throbbing between the heart and stomach about 4 days ago. I was so exhaustive, it was like fainting-then I consulted a doctor who came and gave me medicine but it was of no good effect therefore my students at once transferred me to the hospital where they’re spending more or less 400 rupees daily. There is no question of neglect. All scientific treatment is going on. But I think Ayur Vedic medicine will be proper. Therefore I request you to take immediate steps and reply me.

I hope this letter will convince you the actual position. While reading this letter you may consult some friend who knows English very well so that he’ll read it correctly and reply correctly. There is no scope for corresponding in Bengali or in Hindi.

By Kṛṣṇa’s grace, on the afternoon of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s second day in the hospital he showed slight improvement. His heart was still causing him pain, his facial expression remained grave, with never a smile, but he was a bit stronger. The interns, nurses, and doctors came and went on schedule, treating him-impersonally. One doctor did seem a little interested in what Prabhupāda was all about, and at Prabhupāda’s request, Kīrtanānanda played a taped lecture for the doctor. He listened politely, but then said, “It doesn’t ring a bell.”

The doctor said that he wanted to run a few more tests and that Swamiji might be able to leave after a few weeks-if all went well. Śrīla Prabhupāda tried speaking to the doctor, wanting to explain about Kṛṣṇa. Jadurāṇī had brought two of her paintings to the hospital room- one of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa and the other of the fierce half-lion, half-man incarnation, Lord Nṛsiṁha, tearing apart the demon Hiraṇyakaśipu. Speaking in a very low voice, Prabhupāda said that these two pictures show how God is many-sided: “Here He is in His loving exchange, and here also we see that anger comes from Kṛṣṇa, or God.”

The doctor politely said that he had his own philosophy and that Swamiji shouldn’t be preaching while in such weak health; he should rest. Advising the disciples not to allow their guru to speak, the doctor excused himself and continued his rounds.

Śrīla Prabhupāda, with his slight improvement, expressed more disapproval of being in the hands of the hospital personnel. They weren’t able to do anything, he said. Kṛṣṇa was in control: “If Kṛṣṇa wants to kill you, then no one can save you. But if Kṛṣṇa wants to save you, then no one can kill you.”

Dāmodara: I was there when a doctor came in to check his reflexes. There was the usual tapping with a little rubber hammer on his knee-that kind of thing. Swamiji was visibly annoyed with this man’s coming in and tapping him all over. He was capable of diagnosing and giving the prescription for the cure, and it annoyed him that these men, who obviously didn’t know what they were doing, were coming in and interfering with the process of recuperation.

Acyutānanda: The nurse would always let the door slam, and every time it slammed Swamiji would wince. He said, “Tell her not to slam the door”. She would say, “Okay,” and then she would let it slam again.

Śrīla Prabhupāda began sitting up in bed and taking prasādam from the temple, supplemented by some of the vegetarian items on the hospital menu. He would say a prayer and offer the hospital food to the picture of his spiritual master. The devotees would sit at his feet, watching him as he then mixed with his right hand the carrots, peas, and mashed potatoes. And he would always distribute some of his food into the hands of his disciples.

Jadurāṇī: We brought him many different kinds of fruit. We told him we had brought apples, but he was so tired he only said, “Oh” and seemed disinterested. We told him we had brought oranges, but again- “Oh.” He gave so many tired “Oh”s he seemed disinterested. Finally I said, “We brought you watermelons,” and immediately his face lit up- “Ohhh !”

Rotating in four-hour shifts, two devotees at a time were always with Prabhupāda. Although awake, he would remain silent for long intervals; but massaging always continued, except when he was asleep. Gradually, the paralysis on his left side went away.

Śrīla Prabhupāda was eager to leave the hospital. For several days he had wanted to go. “They are simply sticking needles,” he complained. And each day was putting his Society into further debt. The devotees had rented a small seaside house in Long Branch, New Jersey, where Prabhupāda could go to recuperate. Kīrtanānanda, they decided, would be Prabhupāda’s cook, and Gaurasundara and his wife, Govinda dāsī, were arriving from San Francisco to do the housekeeping and help. But the doctor wanted Prabhupāda to stay for another brain wave test and more observation.

One day while Brahmānanda and Gargamuni were visiting Prabhupāda, the doctor entered and announced that the Swami would have to go downstairs for an X ray.

“No needle?” Prabhupāda asked.

“Yes,” the doctor replied, “it’s all right.”

When the nurse brought in a bed on wheels, Prabhupāda said he wanted Gargamuni to push it. He then sat on it cross-legged and put his hand in his bead bag, and Gargamuni, following the nurse, wheeled him out the door, down the hall, and onto the elevator. They went down to the third floor and entered a room. The nurse left them alone. Gargamuni could sense Prabhupāda’s uneasiness. He was also nervous. It was such an unlikely place for him to be with his spiritual master. Then a different nurse entered, with a needle: “Time to give the Swami a little injection.”

“No.” Prabhupāda shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” Gargamuni said flatly. “We’re not going to do it.”

The nurse was exasperated but smiled: “It won’t hurt.”

“Take me back,” Prabhupāda ordered Gargamuni. When the nurse insisted, Gargamuni acted rashly-his usual tendency-and stepped between the nurse and Śrīla Prabhupāda.

I’m ready to fight if I have to, Gargamuni thought. “I won’t let you do it,” he said and wheeled the bed out of the room, leaving the nurse behind.

Gargamuni was lost. He was somewhere on the third or fourth floor, faced with corridors and doors. And Prabhupāda’s room was on the sixth floor. Unsure where he was going, Gargamuni wheeled through the corridors with Prabhupāda sitting cross-legged, chanting on his beads.

Brahmānanda arrived at the X-ray lab seconds after Gargamuni’s escape. The nurse and an intern complained to him about what had happened.

Brahmānanda: They considered this a theft. Swamiji was their property. As long as he was in the hospital, he was theirs to do whatever they pleased with. Gargamuni had stolen Swamiji away from them.

Gargamuni got to the elevator. He had difficulty maneuvering the bed and in his haste bumped into the wall. He forgot what floor Swamiji was on. He only knew that he was protecting Swamiji, who wanted to be taken away.

When Gargamuni finally reached Prabhupāda’s room, 607, an intern was there and spoke angrily. “I don’t care,” Gargamuni said. “He doesn’t want any more needles or tests. We want to leave.” Brahmānanda arrived, calmed his younger brother, and helped Prabhupāda back into bed.

Prabhupāda said he wanted to leave. When the doctor came in, Prabhupāda sat up and spoke decisively. “Doctor, I am all right. I can go.” And he shook the doctor’s hand to show him he was hale and hearty. The doctor chuckled. He said that although Swamiji was getting stronger, he would have to stay a few more days. He was by no means out of danger vet. He required careful medical surveillance. They needed to run another electroencephalogram.

Śrīla Prabhupāda still had pains around his heart, but he told the doctor his boys had a place for him to rest by the seaside. This was very good, the doctor said, but he couldn’t let his patient go just yet.

But Prabhupāda had made up his mind. Brahmānanda and Gargamuni arranged for a rented car. They gathered Prabhupāda’s things and helped him dress. As they escorted him out of his room and the hospital staff saw that the boys were actually taking the old man away, some of the doctors and nurses tried to stop them. Brahmānanda told them not to worry: Swamiji was very dear to them, and they would take good care of him. He would get regular massages and plenty of rest, and they would get him whatever medicines the doctors prescribed. After a rest by the seaside he could come back for a checkup.

Brahmānanda: Then the doctors became fed up. They threatened us: “This man is going to die.” They really scared us. They said, “This man is going to die, and it is going to be your fault.” Even as we left they said, “This man is condemned to death.” It was horrible.

At ten A.M. on June 8 they left the hospital. Prabhupāda wanted to stop briefly at the temple at 26 Second Avenue before going to the house in Long Branch. Entering the storefront, walking shakily, he came before the portraits of his spiritual master, Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī, and his spiritual master’s father, Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura. For the first time, Prabhupāda’s disciples saw him offer fully prostrated obeisances. As he prostrated himself before his Guru Mahārāja, his disciples also paid obeisances and felt their devotion increase.

When Prabhupāda arrived at his cottage in Long Branch at one o’clock, he had Kīrtanānanda immediately begin cooking lunch. It would be Prabhupāda’s first regular hot meal-rice, dāl, capātīs, sabjī-since his stroke nine days ago.